Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / I Choose …Reclaimed Voices and Finding My Tribe, Feels Like Paradise! with Jeannie Mai and Sarah Shahi

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I Choose …Reclaimed Voices and Finding My Tribe, Feels Like Paradise! with Jeannie Mai and Sarah Shahi · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Welcome
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: back to I Choose Me, the podcast to where incredible
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: people inspire me every day. I had the absolute pleasure
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: of inviting some of those people onto the stage for
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: my second annual I Choose Me Empowerment Summit, was presented
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: by iHeart and It Cosmetics, and now over the next
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  Speaker 1: few weeks, I'm going to share the conversations with each
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  Speaker 1: of them with you.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Please, Welcome to the stage, Jeanie, My and Sarah Shane. Hi.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Come on, ladies, My god, my god, I just saw
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  Speaker 3: your friends at My Friends.
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  Speaker 2: Hi, everybody, Ili and Amir, Alison and.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, now make sure you sent me make sense.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: And I brought you a copy of the book.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I had your books else It's so good, Genie wants.
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  Speaker 4: I'm like, I just got a book.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Hi, everybody, how are you?
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  Speaker 4: I love this? Okay, Jenny, you look so fly. Oh God,
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  Speaker 4: that means a lot coming from you. Good ah, thank you.
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  Speaker 1: I try. These women have something powerful in common with
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: each other, but they have something in common with everybody
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  Speaker 1: in this room. They have all known what it feels
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  Speaker 1: like to have their voice dismissed. To be told that
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: who they should be and and how, and they lose
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  Speaker 1: themselves in the process of trying to please everyone else.
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  Speaker 1: That has happened for me, and it's happened for both
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  Speaker 1: of you.
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  Speaker 4: I'm sure.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, absolute people pleaser over here. I just like delivered
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  Speaker 5: the title maybe two years ago. But I was a
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  Speaker 5: people pleaser my whole life.
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  Speaker 4: And it's sugged.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's an interesting thing because those women,
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  Speaker 2: you know, the person who hushed my voice the most
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  Speaker 2: was myself. And I think, you know, society history, whatever
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  Speaker 2: you want to call it, does a really good job
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  Speaker 2: of telling us or selling us a rhetoric that we
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: so easily buy into. Right, It's like, you know, you're
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  Speaker 2: only allowed to have an emotional landscape that runs from
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  Speaker 2: this to that, dinner on the table promptly at six,
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  Speaker 2: a perfect amount of carbs, protein, Smile when you do
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  Speaker 2: school drop offs and pickups, have home baked brownies, you know,
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  Speaker 2: make sure you service your husband at night or your
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: wife or whatever. And smile when you're at work, and
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  Speaker 2: smile when you're at home, and anything outside of that,
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  Speaker 2: there's something wrong with you. What is the thing?
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  Speaker 1: You know, what has always irritated me in life, you
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: should smile more often? What oh yeah, no, no no?
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  Speaker 1: When being told like you should smile, what's yeah? Are
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: you unhappy? Like because I'm not smiling and there's not
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  Speaker 1: rainbows coming out of my ass all the time, that's
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  Speaker 1: not enough.
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  Speaker 4: I don't have that problem.
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  Speaker 5: I have a face of like a Costco sample lady.
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  Speaker 4: I don't know what it is about.
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  Speaker 5: Like I've always been born like to just like always
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  Speaker 5: be this way. But my problem is that I'm smiling
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  Speaker 5: even when I don't want to smile. Like, I'm smiling
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  Speaker 5: even when I want to say no, or I don't
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  Speaker 5: want to do what you're doing, or I don't like
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  Speaker 5: the people I'm.
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  Speaker 4: Hanging out with.
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  Speaker 5: And that's then enlisted me into situations and things and
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  Speaker 5: relationships that I don't want to be in. And so
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  Speaker 5: it also sucks to be an over smiler because you think,
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  Speaker 5: especially in television, that you're supposed to smile and just
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  Speaker 5: look friendly and presentable and welcome all the time.
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  Speaker 1: You know, Yeah, that's yeah definition of people pleasing. You're right,
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  Speaker 1: but I would take the smile face over the resting
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  Speaker 1: bitch face.
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  Speaker 4: I mean, I have it. It's true. I'm not gonna lie.
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  Speaker 2: Sarah.
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  Speaker 1: You've talked about the entertainment industry and how people have
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: tried to put you in a box. I'm sure it
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: wasn't just an entertainment industry, but what did you mean
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  Speaker 1: by that?
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  Speaker 2: I it's I'm I'm Persian and thank you so much,
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  Speaker 2: thank you. And I think, well, it's interesting because I
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  Speaker 2: fall in this category where I'm kind of a mutt,
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  Speaker 2: but the majority of my ancestry is Persian, and so
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  Speaker 2: I kind of come in when you don't want someone white,
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  Speaker 2: you don't want someone too ethnic, so what's in the
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  Speaker 2: middle that becomes me? So that's when you know I
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  Speaker 2: come in. But I've had people in the business tell
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  Speaker 2: me to like if there was a line, for example,
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  Speaker 2: that I didn't or I had a question about, and
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  Speaker 2: I would take it to the executive and be like, hey,
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  Speaker 2: what is the intention behind this? Or can you can
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  Speaker 2: you help me out with this? I don't quite understand that.
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  Speaker 2: They're like, you know what, why don't you just stand there,
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  Speaker 2: look pretty and say the line? Like literally, I was
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  Speaker 2: told that before. And but I will say this though,
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  Speaker 2: of the different relationships and jobs I've had in the business,
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  Speaker 2: for the most part, I feel very taken care of.
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  Speaker 2: And I think that's because I resonate at a frequency
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  Speaker 2: that's you don't fuck with me, okay?
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  Speaker 1: And yeah, who else resonates that.
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  Speaker 2: You know the thing? And and and It's an interesting
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  Speaker 2: journey of mine because I'm much more courageous on set.
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  Speaker 2: I'm much more courageous in front of a camera than
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  Speaker 2: I am in my real life, probably because in my
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  Speaker 2: real life I'm more vulnerable, whereas on set there's a character.
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  Speaker 2: You know, it's just different. But the way I am
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  Speaker 2: on set, it's, yeah, it's very much like I know
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  Speaker 2: my worth, I know my value, I know what I bring,
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  Speaker 2: and if you don't like it.
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  Speaker 4: I'm happy to leave.
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  Speaker 2: Like it's not even it's not even like a question.
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  Speaker 4: I think they should leave.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, absolutely they should leave. But set, you know,
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  Speaker 2: sometimes they don't be right because it's their thing. But
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  Speaker 2: it's like I am, I am. I have no fear
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  Speaker 2: when it comes to you know, myself as a as
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  Speaker 2: a person in the industry. But where the majority of
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  Speaker 2: my struggles have lie has truly been in personal relationships
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  Speaker 2: and what I think of myself and my self worth
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  Speaker 2: that gets really activated and triggered in those spaces. And
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  Speaker 2: now I'm at a place where anytime I do get
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  Speaker 2: triggered because I I I'm pretty woo woo. I'm assuming
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  Speaker 2: a lot of people here are do we like wu
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  Speaker 2: it all works?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, And but I'm somebody now who you know. I've
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  Speaker 2: really adopted the mindset of everything is always working out
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  Speaker 2: for me. Everything is always working out for me. And
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  Speaker 2: I wake up every morning and I'm like, God, I
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  Speaker 2: want you to blow my mind for the highest good
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  Speaker 2: of all. Like That's what I say every morning when
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  Speaker 2: I wake up. And so now when a situation comes
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  Speaker 2: up that I don't like right that can be kind
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  Speaker 2: of triggering, I get excited about it. Instead of going
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  Speaker 2: oh fuck, like no, not this again, I'm like, ooh,
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  Speaker 2: this is an opportunity. This is an opportunity to look
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  Speaker 2: at something differently, or this is an opportunity to dig
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  Speaker 2: and see why am I being active activated in this way?
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  Speaker 2: You know? So now it's almost like I know how
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  Speaker 2: to handle those moments better because I get excited about it.
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  Speaker 1: Do you think I know you are neither of you
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  Speaker 1: are in the fifties club yet, but do you think
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  Speaker 1: that's come more with age as you've gotten older?
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  Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I mean, I am forty six years old,
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  Speaker 2: and I am so happy, and I love my life
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  Speaker 2: so much. Like I carry myself with an extra.
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  Speaker 4: Wink now everywhere I go.
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  Speaker 2: You know, it's like I like the person who puts
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  Speaker 2: her head down at night. You know, I didn't always
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  Speaker 2: used to feel that way. I used to be very
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  Speaker 2: you know, like you right, like all of us, like
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  Speaker 2: just turn myself into a pretzel to try to make
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  Speaker 2: everybody else happy.
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  Speaker 4: But the person who.
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  Speaker 2: Was losing at the end of the day consistently was myself.
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  Speaker 2: I didn't have any boundaries. I didn't have with men,
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  Speaker 2: I didn't have it with spouses, I didn't have it
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  Speaker 2: with my children, I didn't have it with my mother.
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  Speaker 4: Like I just I was there for everybody else.
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  Speaker 2: But as I've learned through my divorce and other you know,
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  Speaker 2: beautiful ways in which my relationships and I have not
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  Speaker 2: worked out, is that is that as not only women,
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  Speaker 2: but men, as well as human beings on this earth,
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  Speaker 2: we are not here merely to serve other people. You
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  Speaker 2: are not here to serve your children day in and
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  Speaker 2: day out. You are not here to serve your spouse's
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  Speaker 2: day in or day out, or your bosses. You know,
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  Speaker 2: creation doesn't make a mistake. So if you're here, you're
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  Speaker 2: here for a reason. So it's like you have to
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  Speaker 2: find out exactly I'm taking. I don't mean to keep talking.
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  Speaker 4: This is your show.
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  Speaker 2: I'm in.
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  Speaker 4: I love what you're saying. That's okay.
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it to Genie because I want to
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  Speaker 1: know if there was a moment you realized that you
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  Speaker 1: had lost your voice, Like did it happen gradually or
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  Speaker 1: was there like a moment where you're like, oh.
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  Speaker 5: I feel like this is a question they ask you
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  Speaker 5: in therapy because you kind of figure out like where
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  Speaker 5: it all started, you know. And at first I started
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  Speaker 5: digging back to okay, when did I feel like I
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  Speaker 5: was actually robbed? And I had to stay quiet and
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  Speaker 5: honestly not to make.
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  Speaker 4: It dark and sad. It was actually a.
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  Speaker 5: Pitifule point, but I was sexually abused at nine and
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  Speaker 5: around sixteen years old, I started realizing that it was
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  Speaker 5: something I needed to speak out about. And then when
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  Speaker 5: I did, my family rejected it and said that it
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  Speaker 5: didn't happen.
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  Speaker 4: So there goes that, you know, spiral.
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  Speaker 5: But it wasn't until I was now writing down all
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  Speaker 5: the moments in my in my life where I felt
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  Speaker 5: quieted that I realized it wasn't just that one moment.
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  Speaker 5: It was also a big part of my culture as
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  Speaker 5: the Vietnamese American, you know, we were always kind of
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  Speaker 5: told to just stay quiet, you know, and don't cause
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  Speaker 5: a lot of trouble, especial when my family's immigrating over
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  Speaker 5: and now living like fifteen people in a house sponsored
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: by the way, not illegally, but still just having this
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  Speaker 5: feeling of like this country isn't ours.
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  Speaker 4: Let's not cause too much noise.
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  Speaker 5: Let's even if I, you know, twisted my ankle, We're
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: not calling the police, We're not calling the ambulance, Like,
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: let's see if we can figure this out at home.
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  Speaker 4: Because it's a money thing, you know.
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  Speaker 5: So there's a little bit of cultural reasons why I
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: stayed quiet.
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  Speaker 4: There's also a money thing.
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  Speaker 5: Growing up poor, you just don't make too much noise
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  Speaker 5: because you don't want.
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  Speaker 4: To create attention to yourself.
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  Speaker 5: And then there's some parts of being a woman, a
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  Speaker 5: lot of being a woman. When I started growing up
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: in the entertainment business, I landed my first show at
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  Speaker 5: twenty four, and I was in Newbie as a young
• 10:40
  Speaker 5: person in Hollywood. I wasn't going to be the one
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  Speaker 5: who's going to ring the alarm and ask for too
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  Speaker 5: much I wanted. I was going to ride this out
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: as long as I could, you know, So I wasn't
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: asking for special things, even if I was getting taken
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: advantage of working hours that I wasn't getting paid for.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: Then I was on a panel talk show where okay,
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: then I got to be the quieter one because I
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: don't want to lose my job here on this panel show.
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  Speaker 5: So Hollywood also made me stay quiet because I just
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: didn't want to lose this great position I was having.
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  Speaker 5: So I look back now at forty seven and I'm realizing, Wow,
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: there's so many food amazing. I thank you Asian, No, Raisin,
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: that's a good thing.
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  Speaker 4: About it being Asian.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: I don't know about everybody else, but I just got
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  Speaker 5: That's what I can say for our people.
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  Speaker 4: We look real cute, like every day of her.
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  Speaker 5: Life, and then somehow in the eighties we just shrivel
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: up into this cute little prune that does tai chi
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: in the park. You know, we're like bagging up you know,
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: every to go back container and.
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  Speaker 4: Saving it in your drawers. That's gonna be me, and
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  Speaker 4: I'm very proud about that.
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  Speaker 5: I can't wait, by the way, I can't wait to
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: get to that age where I just don't I don't
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: give a fuck so.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: Hard that I'm like not even wearing a bra.
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: My boobs are on my ankles, you know what I mean,
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: all my dentures.
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  Speaker 4: In her out fuck you who cares? Yes, I'd like
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: to wait to get that to that place.
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  Speaker 1: I know my mom wore her pajamas here today.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, she's happy. Yeah, I'm into it.
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  Speaker 5: So anyway, today now I'm looking back and I'm realizing
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  Speaker 5: I'm having a lot more grace for myself because I'm
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  Speaker 5: realizing a lot of the traits that taught me to
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  Speaker 5: be quiet are also the traits that got me to
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  Speaker 5: be Genie, MYI and an Emmy Award winning television host, executive,
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  Speaker 5: fila author, like all these things right, Yes, so those
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: same traits helped me.
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  Speaker 4: But here now as a mom is my job to
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  Speaker 4: learn to not.
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  Speaker 5: Enable those traits to get to where you are, because
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: you can get to where you are without also being
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: those things in a prisoner in your own body.
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  Speaker 1: I think it's about loving those traits, about yourself, yes,
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  Speaker 1: and we don't honoring that. So we're so taught to
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  Speaker 1: not love certain parts of ourselves.
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  Speaker 2: You know what. I also feel like, you know, it's
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: interesting because after writing the book and you know, promoting
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: it and stuff, this is a newish space for me
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: that I've ventured. And we spend so much time talking
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: about mental health and growth and authenticity, which is these
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: are all incredible things to talk about and I want
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: to continue, but we don't talk enough, in my opinion,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: about like what you were talking about, right, which is,
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: you know, you were raised a certain way which has
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: allowed you to be this incredibly successful person who now
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: uses her voice to advocate for people who don't know
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: how to yet write. And if you think about it
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: like that too, I think you get this perspective like, well,
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: then everything that was meant to happen happened.
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  Speaker 4: And at the end of.
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  Speaker 2: The day, like nobody knows when their time here is up, right,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Like you don't know when that's it, So to remember
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: to laugh. And at the end, if you look back
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: and you zoom out from your life, you're like, it
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: was all just small stuff. It was all just small stuff.
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  Speaker 1: And you spend so much Yeah, all that bullshit.
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  Speaker 2: Like a situation is only as big or little as
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: the value you assign it.
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  Speaker 4: If that makes sense.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: It does.
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  Speaker 2: And at the end of the day, we're all here
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: just to walk each other home. Right, So it's like laugh,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: like give yourself that extra wink in the mirror, you know,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: like put on the perfume just because because you want
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: to smell good, fright you. It's just like it's like,
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  Speaker 2: I think that's also an important thing to remember, is
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: that as much as all of this matters, none of
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  Speaker 2: it fucking matters.
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  Speaker 3: That makes sense.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: It's just a yeah, it's a rat race for no reason.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: There's no finish ligne.
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  Speaker 4: It's so so true.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: It resonates so deeply with everything that I believe. So
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: thank you.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah for saying stars don't rush to get to the
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: other side. Now the sun doesn't rush to come up
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: in the morning or rush.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: To go down.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like everything happens and it's right time.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: It's perfect the way everything, I mean, even the hardest
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: times of my life have brought me to this moment.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: And I would not be who I am. I would
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: not be the friend, the mother anything that.
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  Speaker 2: How many people you're impacting, like, look at what your purpose.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: Is, you know what I mean?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Finding that through all the pain, all the challenge and
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: so have ever either of you been told that you
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: are speaking about your truth too much, or maybe that
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: you're too emotional.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: I hate that, you know, Yeah, I've learned that. Well, yes,
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: the answer is yes, of course. I've had different relationships
• 15:40
  Speaker 5: to even different like colleagues and work that you know
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: aren't able to be a container that feels safe for
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: what you want to share or what feelings you have,
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: even when it.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: Involves them or if they cause it.
• 15:52
  Speaker 5: But what I'm realizing when I would then react is
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: most of life's disruptions in your flow is when you
• 16:00
  Speaker 5: reacted right, You're always going to have somebody who's a punk.
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: You're already gonna have somebody who is not self aware,
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: or somebody who's selfish. There's going to be family members, relationships,
• 16:11
  Speaker 5: exes in your life that are that.
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  Speaker 4: But I've learned now that if I.
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: Can just unapologetically own what space I need and let
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: you know the information that I need to operate in
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: order to treat you the best that I can, to
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: treat our environment the best I can, and if you
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: can't handle it. I already know that that right there
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: means you're not right for me, because not everybody is
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: built to They're only equipped to handle what you give
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: them if they were able to handle it for themselves.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: Does that make sense?
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: So, now, if you're giving somebody an emotional truth about
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: where you are in life and that was too much
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: for them, can you imagine what's going on in their head?
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: They probably aren't even honest with themselves about where they
• 16:53
  Speaker 5: are emotionally, So how am I expecting them to hold
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: my truth? And once I can see that they aren't
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: able to do that, and I just know that that
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: person's at a different stage of their life and I
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: can opt out.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's okay for them totally, like no judgment.
• 17:06
  Speaker 5: And no anger and no reaction to bitterness and expectations.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: But it makes me date carefully now, it makes your
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: day very differently.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Now, yes, do you have a list of non negotiables?
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: Well, I'm going to speak my truth and be exactly
• 17:24
  Speaker 5: who the hell I am. And if I see that
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: you're not capable of handling it, we done. We out,
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: We're not even Yeah, it's not even getting any further
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: than that because I get too emotionally invested, and I
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: want to be able to invest knowing that, like it's
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: a safe, cozy place I'm getting into.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: So it's you got to know what you need. What
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: about you? Do you have a list of non negotiables.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: I'm saying non negotiables like when you're looking to for
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: the date, or if you're looking to start getting more
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: involved with somebody and you start to see their true colors.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I my non negotiable. Gosh, I've been single
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: for a little over a year now and I'm still
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: navigating this space. And obviously my children. You know, it's
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: like somebody who doesn't like kids or wants to tell
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: me how to mother.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: God, bless God bless.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but what you were saying reminds me of something
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: that I stumbled upon a theory, which was you can
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: only meet people as deeply as they've met themselves, you know.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: So that's a good one.
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: I heard you asking the guys earlier, like what to
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: do if your guy doesn't want to go through therapy
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: or doesn't want to take therapy, And that to me
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: is a non eghosh, like if you're not even down
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: to talk about your.
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: Feelings, with somebody else.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: Oh, we're not even going to tickle that pickle's.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I think it's Yeah, I think it's interesting because it's
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: like I'm single for the first time in like twenty
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: three years, and.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: So congratulations, thank you.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: I love that it is.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: It is an interesting journey. But uh, and I'm very
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: thankful for like the couple guys that I talked to
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: and nothing happened, Like I'm really thankful that nothing happened,
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: but because it's allowed me to learn about myself in
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: ways that I don't think I would have had I
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: jumped into another attachment like right away. But I also
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: I make room for a lot of people when I
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: first meet them, Like, so if someone is not into
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: therapy and I am into therapy, that's not a non
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: negotiable for me because in the beginning, because I want
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: Because what I've discovered in this journey of just like
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: meeting and discovering new people is that so many people
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: have different ways of doing things that I didn't I
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: wasn't aware of before. But I definitely think self growth
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: and the ability to change and evolve is an important one. Yeah,
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: and uh, yeah, the person should have the ability or desire.
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: To do that for sure.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, I have a question for both of you. How
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: do you choose yourself on the daily? Give give everybody
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: a you know, a little insight to what you do.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I know what they can do.
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I really like saying no. Now. I love saying no.
• 20:29
  Speaker 4: I love I love.
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: Turning down your dinner at eight thirty, Like.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Who what a dinner at eight thirty?
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: Now? I'm like, I told all my friends, if you
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: want to see me for dinner, it starts at five,
• 20:41
  Speaker 5: five to six thirty. After that, boot, will you call
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: me for brunch tomorrow?
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: Because we're not doing it? That I love?
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: And I found my friends who are down with that.
• 20:48
  Speaker 5: I found my friends that are down no, yeah, right absolutely.
• 20:52
  Speaker 5: And I also love like I love going out to dance.
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: I love, you know, hitting the clerb?
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: You do?
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I do?
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: I do?
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Because where do you go? I close? I hate the ladies.
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: I've found some lounges is it that are.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Open at ten am? Because that's that's what I'm the
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: frisk use.
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: They start at they start at four. So there I
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: am at the Clerb in this outfit, having the martini
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: and then I'm home in bed by seven.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, you've mastered it.
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I have. So now I found my group and
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: and it's fun.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: It's actually so much fun.
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: Because I realized that a lot of people also are there,
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: but they don't know or have the permission to say.
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: And I've also initiated, like here are the spots to
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: go shout Tummat's so pretty before seven you know, like
• 21:31
  Speaker 5: there are great cool places go.
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: Damn, I miss Paris.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: I don't think they'll like that I'm putting it out there,
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: but that is a great lounge to hit up, you know,
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: before eight pm.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: It's called Paris Paris. Yes, so good, Yes, yes to night. Yes.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: So I think what I've done is I've given I've
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: made the party myself.
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: I've booked it. Yeah. They played old school.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: Hip hop Girl on Thursdays and Sundays.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: Damn missus Harris so good, so good. So I I
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: book it.
• 22:01
  Speaker 5: And I'm like, this is where I'm going, This is
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: the dance classes I'm hitting up, this is the park
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: day I'm doing with my daughter. If you have a kid, come,
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: if you have some alcohol, let's go.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: So I just know where exactly I want to be,
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: and I find my tribe.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: That also feels the vibes.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, how about you, Sarah, How do you take care
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: of yourself on the daily?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: For me, stillness is an important part. It's how I recharge.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: And you know, I have three kids, I have three dogs,
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I work a couple jobs, and so to be able
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: to be still is a real luxury for me. So
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: whether it's in the morning or in the evening, but
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: I try to find a couple moments throughout the day
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: where for about twenty minutes, nobody needs me, And I
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: tell the kids, I'm like, I'm going to shut my door,
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: do not come in unless the house is on fire, Like,
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: figure it out.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: It's good for them exactly. Yes, it is good for
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: them as well.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I just allow myself the opportunity to sort
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: of just tap into myself, into my like truth and
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: feel whatever's happening inside. And that for me is so
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: recharging and allows me to be my best self.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, those are great ways to take to choose.
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: You're saying, you get up and you go to damn
• 23:20
  Speaker 5: my mischairs with me, girl and me to.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: Do at the glue.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this has been such a good conversation.
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: Do you feel like these.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Are our girlfriends, like, let's go out tonight.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: You know, there's something I just want to say one
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: more thing.
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: Are you trying to wrap it up?
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: I am, but go ahead.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Is that there's something really cool. And I apologize for
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: making this an estrogen dominated conversation amongst you men here,
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: but thank you.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: They have estrogen too, They do have as You're right,
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: they do have as you in too. You're right.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: But thank you, thank you, thank you. There's something really
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: cool that happens when a group of women get together.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I feel like there's like this ancient like mysticism or
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: this like magic din yeah, the divine exactly. It really
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: gets activated. So I just encourage all of you to
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: like lean into your tribes a little bit more too,
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Like I think that's important.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: It is important in yourself.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, ladies, Thank you, thank you for being
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: You are so beautiful.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: You are such a light like magnetic, you are truly magnetic.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Bit Yeah, I love you, thank you. Oh my gosh,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: this has been such a great day. Well