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October 15 – My Heart, My Responsibility · The Daily Ripples Podcast

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  Welcome back, everybody, to the Daily Ripples podcast. Today is Thursday,
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  October the 15th, and our devotional is titled, My Heart, My Responsibility.
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  The stump. Spiritual growth begins when I examine my own heart instead of judging someone else's.
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  Ripple 1 is practical. Today, I will be careful with my words,
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  especially when speaking about someone who's not present.
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  Gossip may feel harmless in the moment, but it rarely builds anyone up.
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  My responsibility is to examine my own life, not to critique another person's.
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  Ripple 2 is spiritual. As I follow Christ's example of extending grace instead
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  of condemnation, the Holy Spirit gently turns my attention back to my own heart,
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  whenever I am tempted to judge others.
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  The Father reminds me that transformation begins within me, not in my opinions about someone else.
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  And Corey, as I'm reading this one today,
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  I got to realize, man, you and I, sometimes we need to go to confession or something.
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  Right. You know, because we can easily get on here. We were just talking about
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  it. You know, even just yesterday's episode, there's a whole section that got
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  cut out because we went down the gossip train a little bit. And I'm not saying
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  who said what, but you know, it just naturally happens.
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  And for us, when we're recording this podcast, we're trying to use,
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  it is so wild how as alcoholics we can justify anything, right?
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  Because we'll use gossip, and we'll call it an example to try to teach others
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  about what to do and what not to do, right?
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  And it can happen in recovery rooms. It can happen in a church from a pulpit.
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  If you want to hear some gossip, especially in a small church,
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  ask for a prayer request.
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  Because if you're just sitting in a small church, you say, has anybody got a prayer request?
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  And somebody within the congregation will either stand up, they'll raise their
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  hand, and they'll say something along the lines of this.
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  They'll say, well, pastor, please be in prayer for my neighbor,
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  Jo Beth, because, you know, she was drinking a little too much.
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  And so then she fell off her porch and she banged up her knee.
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  So just be in prayer. You know, she can't really afford those hospital bills
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  either. So be in prayer for her that she figures that out and that she can get
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  the healing that she needs.
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  Okay, all God and the congregation needs to know was the name of the person
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  that you wanted to pray for. Like we didn't need to know all those examples, right?
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  And that's one of the things that's funny because it was about a couple of months
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  ago, I remember we'd had one of our sessions and just kind of.
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  Behind the curtain a little bit, you know, with the way that this podcast is
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  produced, you know, generally you and I or guests or whomever will sit down
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  once a week and we'll record a run of episodes that we then schedule out,
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  you know, and edit and do.
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  And I remember one time as a couple of months ago is after one of our recording sessions and you,
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  called me out, you as the one who, you know, is not the pastor,
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  is not preaching about gossip all the time,
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  not, writing these things, obviously, you said, hey, man, I think we need to
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  stop talking as much about what some other people in the rooms do and don't do.
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  And I said, you're right. That's exactly right.
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  And our natural proclivity at times, we still can slip back into that.
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  And so we just ask for grace from the audience for when we do that,
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  as well as grace from God.
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  But it's always in a respectful and an anonymous way, but that doesn't mean
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  that the person about whom we're speaking may not listen, hear it,
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  and realize, oh, are they talking about me?
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  And that's the kind of thing that we definitely want to avoid,
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  you know, whether it's in a public format like this, or whether we're sharing
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  in a group, or whether we're giving a prayer request in a church, you know?
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  And so, and that, the motivation behind that does stem from the heart.
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  You know, this one, the title today is My Heart, My Responsibility, right?
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  But the practical side of that is telling me to be careful with my words,
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  especially when speaking about somebody who's not present.
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  So I couldn't help but kind of go down that rabbit trail to start with a little
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  bit today. But anyway, what do you think about all that, Corey?
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  Now that I've set you up, I better not talk about anyone in the rooms now.
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  No, no, you know, but you know, it's interesting, you know, the timing was just,
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  I couldn't even ask for a better timing. I have, you know. That's God right there. It is.
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  And man, it's cool though. Cause like, you know, and I think,
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  Oh, man. On page 88 of this book, it's really cool because I get to see this,
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  stuff work in real life. It says, we alcoholics are undisciplined.
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  We let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.
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  Today, I can be awake to see that today.
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  There was a time in my life I would not be awake. It would just be another passing by moment.
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  Right. You know, I could see these different examples of these different things
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  because I'm awake to see that stuff. And, you know, I haven't always been there.
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  Well, and you could easily say, well, I was a gospel because I didn't say their
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  name. Right. I didn't say whatever. Right. Exactly. You know,
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  but like, you know, that goes back into what we were talking about the other day.
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  And it starts out gradual. And, you know, but it's on page 70, actually.
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  It says if we are it says if we are sorry for we have done have the honest desire
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  to let god take us to better things we will we believe we will be forgiven.
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  And we have learned our lesson if we are not sorry our conduct continues to
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  harm others we are quite sure to drink we are not theorizing as these are facts
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  about our experience and man that's like you know that's in the,
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  place in the talk about sex but that's in talking about my conduct at jibble
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  yeah if i'm right running around doing this doing this you know leaving breadcrumbs
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  here like hurting this person and walking over here doing this
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  man like you know who's gonna even want to hang out with you know and i'm just an alcoholic right
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  and it's so important to me today you know because i you know i don't know if
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  you know this but i kind of,
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  i'll kind of upset some people every now and then,
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  around the places we hang out in no never,
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  and you know i gotta go make a you know i go and i go and i get the privilege
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  to go make amends to those people anytime i really do you know if i if i get
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  out of line i go make amends,
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  and to be an example what this is and but i was also thinking like you know
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  we're talking about like you know taking care of myself and not worrying about
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  other people because I'm always pointing the finger at other people.
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  And it says in the big book, it says, admitting he may be somewhat at fault,
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  he is sure others are more to blame.
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  And so when I think about that, when I come into this position of,
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  man, like, because I've talked about this before, but I'm the house and the
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  house always wins. Mm-hmm.
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  I'm going to take you down with me because I win every time.
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  And in the family afterwards, and this is because it mostly my,
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  I don't know about you, but most of my scuffles or squabbles,
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  if you will, are in my house first.
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  Right. And then the second place they're at is my occupation.
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  And the third place they are. Everything else. They're my affairs.
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  But like, so that's where I really want to practice these principles.
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  And that's a good callback. Like, I really appreciated whenever we had the week
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  of Bill's episodes, like he honed in on that quite a bit about that order.
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  Yeah. That comes straight out of the big book. Well, you know, and.
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  But it follows the higher order out of scripture, too. It does.
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  Start with God, you know, and then you got the home and then you got,
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  you know, all the other places. Well, and I haven't.
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  Bill has told me some things directly before in my life that,
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  you know, there was a time where it was just because I didn't want to go confront
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  some things and go face some things that I thought it was the best place for
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  me to go be a drug and alcohol counselor so I could go hide away at a rehab and work.
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  Bill said, you're going to go get a job that you're paid to do to take care of your family.
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  But there's been a couple moments like that. Sure. But most of the time, I don't...
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  Because I kind of know... That's not what I kind of know. I know exactly where
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  he's going to direct me. I could tell you exactly which page.
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  We don't have to call Bill for that stuff. Yeah. I get to be in the administration
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  and other dudes I'm helping.
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  But, you know, I do think it's cool because, like, you know,
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  on the first page of the family afterwards, and, like, you know,
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  I take this first part of this because, like, kind of lightly,
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  but it says, all members of the family should meet upon common ground of tolerance,
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  understanding, and loves.
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  This involves a process of deflation.
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  And like, you know, I kind of take the, what I was talking about,
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  I take the all members, you know, kind of lightly and direct it towards me.
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  In my family, I need to have a place of tolerance, understanding,
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  and love. This involves me in a place of deflation.
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  Because man, like, you know, if I'm to love somebody, I can't be above them.
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  I can't be below them either. I got to be able to see them in their eyes.
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  And it says in our book, you know, we don't crawl as God's people. We stand on our feet.
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  And, you know, so when I'm loving somebody, it's in their eyes,
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  to their face, with them, not below them, not above them.
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  But, you know, I do this as a family. That's where I think the most important
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  place to practice any of this is with them. Most definitely. Most definitely.
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  I was thinking, too, about, you know, whether it's at home, whether it's in,
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  you know, our occupation, whether it's in our affairs, how important our words
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  are. that we say, you know.
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  I mean, I can't always, especially early on, you know, for anybody that's new
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  to either faith or new to recovery, you know.
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  Your reactions, your internal monologue, what goes on in your brain,
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  you know, I'm not judging or condemning anybody for that,
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  but that that we've talked about this week, that self-discipline says,
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  I don't have to open my mouth and say those things, most especially at home.
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  I mean, yeah, you want to be free to be yourself at home, but if yourself is
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  a buckhead, you're going to be home alone.
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  You know what I mean? So you got to still guard your language and your words,
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  and it's related to what this is talking about in The Practical Ripple today
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  about avoiding the gossip and things like that, but even more so,
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  it's related to how we use our language.
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  And then in the Bible, in the book of Ephesians 4, verse 29,
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  it says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
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  but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,
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  that it may benefit those who listen.
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  Now, this is the verse, this is Paul's test for whether speech is building others
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  up or tearing them down, right?
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  And so for me, and that's where I always go, even as a pastor,
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  Even as, you know, on this podcast, just a minor example of that is we try to
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  keep it clean, you know, without any swearing or anything on here.
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  Now, my perspective, even as a pastor, is that I can use English curse words
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  in talking to you, but it's still building you up.
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  And I still pass the scriptural test of using my language to build someone up.
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  You see what I'm saying? So a word in and of itself is not a sin.
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  It is how that word is used and what it's directed at that is sinful.
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  And it's those words, it's that language to tear somebody down or to build somebody up.
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  And what I'm saying is that whenever I engage in gossip or character assassination,
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  whether it's for an example, whether whatever it is,
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  that is much more damaging than if I stood up in somebody's face and cussed a mouth. Right.
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  And I get that, and I get it if you want to weave it that way and make you feel better about it.
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  But I still try to avoid Kirk. Right, yeah, yeah. I'm just messing with you.
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  But, you know, I like where you did put in here my responsibility. Yeah.
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  And responsibility is a big word, right, is to examine my own life,
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  not critique another person's.
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  And when I continue to examine my own life, man, I think, you know,
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  So what's on the other side of that is actually really great.
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  I know it doesn't, like, it's kind of like it's me and my significant other.
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  We were talking earlier, and I said a name.
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  And, well, it rhymes with our daughter's name. Anyways, but I,
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  you know, I said her name anyways.
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  But it was funny because she looked at me and she said, don't say, don't call her that.
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  Because that name I know is still touching her. And But you know When things
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  touch me Right I jump back Mm-hmm.
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  And we've seen this, I think, manifest in both of our lives,
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  in both of our experience, where, you know, our higher power,
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  and as it says here, you know, it says the Holy Spirit, you know,
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  it says gently turns my attention back to my own heart whenever I'm tempted
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  to judge others kind of thing.
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  Sometimes I don't need God to be gentle about it.
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  You know, sometimes I need God to hit me over the head, you know,
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  with a stick and say, hey, quit worrying about everybody else.
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  You know, do the program, you know, the way that you understand it,
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  a life of faith, the way that I, you know, being Holy Spirit is directing me
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  to lead it and just trust God with the results, you know, because I'm not in the results business.
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  I'm in the being a service business, you know, whenever I'm.
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  And that's both in my life of recovery and in my life of faith.
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  Yeah, well, we should be stewards.
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  Stewardship, well, but that's part of my responsibility as well,
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  stewarding what's being given to me. So it's not always so black and white in
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  terms of, you know, yes, no, X, Y kind of thing. There's a lot of nuance to it for sure.
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  But the stewardship part of that is important. However, you can,
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  to take it back, you can only control and steward what you're responsible for.
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  You know what I mean? In other words, I can't steward an entire group.
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  Oh, absolutely. That kind of thing.
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  Well, you know, we came into that predicament about a year ago, right?
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  Yeah. And I didn't like some things that I saw.
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  So what did I do, Pastor Mike? You got a group going.
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  Our prayer for today. Father God, guard my words and my heart today.
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  Through your Holy Spirit, help me choose grace over criticism and humility over judgment.
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  Shape me through the example of Jesus. Amen.
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  You know, it's funny. Recovery groups are not the only groups where all you
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  need for a new meeting is a resentment and a place to meet, right?
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  Because churches are the same way. Have you not looked around in our area and
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  seen all these non-denominational churches?
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  That means they got ticked off with their denomination and left and formed their
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  own thing. Anyway, we digress.