Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Wheeling and Dealing

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Hour 3 - Wheeling and Dealing · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's a thriller by Godzilla. It's hour number three. Ben
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Maller Show. Check out the Fifth Hour podcast up and
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: running wherever you get your podcasts. Well, here in hour
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: number three, Vaughn Miller has made a trade. He gets
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: his number 40 jersey. And the fullback who had that
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: jersey gets ownership in a chicken business. Who won the trade?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: We're going to break this trade down. Should NFL teams
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: stop posting practice clips if they don't provide proper context?
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: The Kelsey brothers were bitching about that. We'll discuss that
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: business of viral clips. And also Kawhi Leonard, conflicting statements on...
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Whether or not he was aware of the NBA salary
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: cap rules, how does that reshape the situation? We'll go
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: there as well. All of it coming your way right now.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Here it is, our number three. The wheeling and dealing
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: just before the big NFL season. Welcome in the beginning
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: of another hour of the Ben Maller Show. We are
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: in the air everywhere. Inhabitants. As we are, your belly
• 1:24
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• 1:31
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• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It's time to get your financial portfolio game ready. That's right,
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• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Investing involves risk. For more information, visit Webull.com. So we
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: did have a trade. In the NFL, not getting a
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: lot of attention because of the Lane Kiffin story. It's
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: out of Dallas. That is our lead story this hour
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: out of Big D there. Trade in Jerry's world, if
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: you have not heard yet. Maybe not. The Dallas Cowboys
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: and pass rusher Vaughn Miller have acquired the number 40. Now,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: that's not the number 40 draft pick. That would be literally...
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: The number 40 from fullback Hunter Lipke. That's right. Hunter Lipke,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the fullback for the Cowboys, who will switch to number 30.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: That is the transaction. Now, in return, Lipke received an
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: undisclosed ownership stake in Vaughn Miller's chicken company. Yeah. Yeah.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: He traded a number for an ownership stake in a
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: chicken company. Now, we're not sure how much he got.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Lipke negotiated, supposedly, according to Vaughn Miller, very aggressively. He
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: was seeking 2% equity. And according to Vaughn Miller, that
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: would be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to own 2%
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: of the chicken, the Greener Pastures Chicken Company. So that's
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: the deal. That's also a good jumping off point. Let
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: us discuss the question. Vaughn Miller gets his Cowboys number
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: 40 jersey, while the Dallas fullback, Hunter Lipke, gets ownership
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: in a chicken business. So who won the trade? Who
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: won the trade? Yeah, so I've got on this one,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I've got Jerry Seinfeld. We've got that. We also have
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Sovereign State and Emoji. And we'll combine all of these
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: things together. And we'll be out of breath unless we're
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: not out of breath. So we start with number one.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Number one.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: One, one, one.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Number one.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: One, one, one.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: You know what we're doing? We're doing the waltz. What
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: kind of waltz? Number one. All right. So we start here.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I love this story. I do. Well, why do you
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: love this? It's interesting. The fact that people are so
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: addicted to these numbers is just tremendous to me. And
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: it is Shark Tank with a jockstrap and shoulder pads.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Hunter Lipke went into negotiations. He's a no-name fullback on
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: the Dallas Cowboys. And if we are to believe some
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: of these reports, he came out of the negotiation saying,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: As a venture capitalist, the Cowboys finally made a trade
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I like, and Jerry Jones was not involved in this
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: at all, that Vaughn Miller would trade equity in block, block,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: check in, just to get a jersey number somewhere Warren
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Buffett just threw up in his mouth. What are you doing?
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: It's a number. You're not buying Sinatra's microphone. It's laundry.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: But Vaughn bought number 40 like it was beachfront property.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: And if this chicken company explodes and I don't know
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: much about chicken. I did watch Big Chicken, the documentary
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: years ago. But that aside, if this chicken company explodes.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Number 40 becomes the most expensive piece of laundry since
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt. If you remember way back in
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: the old days there, the show's still on on different
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: streaming services, but the famous puffy shirt episode there, that's
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: what this is. Lipke is now a business partner with
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Vaughn Miller, Patrick Mahomes, and Drew Brees, among others. And
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: he's a fullback that you've never heard of on the
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Dallas Cowboys. Imagine explaining that At Thanksgiving. Well, what do
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: you do? Well, I played for the Cowboys today. Oh,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: that's great. You played for the Cowboys. I'm a fullback, yeah.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I'm also a minority chicken magnate. Oh, you're a... Well, yeah,
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: if I was in the NBA, they'd say I'm a
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: minority governor of chicken.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Okay. God bless America. God bless America. So this is
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: what happens when rich athletes have too much money and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: sentimental attachment to numerical situations involving cotton. And that's how
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: you end up in this situation. So the trade was
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: clearly won by the fullback. He's going to wear number 30,
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  Speaker 1: which is fine. It's okay. It's certainly worth a large
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: amount of money, and no one's going to know the
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: difference between 40 and 30 when you're on the field.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: What's so special about 40? All right, page two. To
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Kansas City we go, the heartland of America. The birthplace
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: of Ben Maller Chicken Fingers there at the Landing in Liberty, Missouri.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Still on the menu after all these years. Go out
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: there and check out the Ben Maller Chicken Fingers in
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Kansas City. So a viral Chiefs training camp clip showed
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Travis Kelsey. We talked about this on the show. It
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: showed Travis Kelsey running really slowly. really slowly there during practice.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: And that led to an online conversation, questions about whether
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: or not tight end Travis Kelsey had lost it. And
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: the video got millions and millions of views on social
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: media with people mocking Travis Kelsey's speed and the defender
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: covering him and the whole McGill, the whole McGill. And
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: now on his, Fledgling podcast, he wishes he could have
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: the numbers the Fifth Hour podcast has. Jason Kelsey, I'm
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: told that's the other Kelsey. Jason Kelsey ripped the NFL's
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: practice content machine, saying, can we just let practice be
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: its own thing? With a question mark. Yeah, so Jason
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: called practice a, quote, safe space for experimentation. without every
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: rep being dissected online. And Travis Kelsey laughed off the criticism.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: He was fat shamed, saying he deliberately ran that particular
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: route slowly. I don't know that he gave a wink, wink,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: and nod, nod. So the question here, should NFL teams
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: stop posting practice clips if they don't provide proper context? Yeah.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: So on this one, I'm giving it side eye. I'm
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: giving it side eye. Getting worked into a lather over
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: eight seconds of training camp is rather silly. It is
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: rather silly, but that's the matrix. The matrix isn't real.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Once people have the enlightenment that it's a lot of
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: manipulation for your stimulation and the numbers are not what
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: they see, it's a fun zone. It's a house of mirrors,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: the social media. There's obviously a lot of real people
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: on there. Everything's doctored, though. Everything's futzed up. And welcome
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: to the NWO, the New World Order. NFL, as a business,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: they play one game a week during the season. That's it.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: That's all. One game a week. That means that inventory
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: is limited. Hockey plays 84 games. Basketball plays 82 games.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Baseball plays 162 games. The NFL plays 17 games. That's it.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: So there's not a lot of inventory from the games.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: So practice. Not a game. Not a game. Practice. We
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: didn't even talk about practice. Not a game. Not a game.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: Practice has become a warehouse. What kind of warehouse? It's
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: a content warehouse. It's farming. Big pharma. In this case,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: engagement farming. There's a bunch of football players who are
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: really assembly line workers here. Every route or route... is
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: dissected every jiggle jiggle jiggle from your belly gets packaged
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: for consumption and this evil twin fat kelsey was was
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: really good for the family farm business was really good
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: and we mentioned six million views so the mission was
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: accomplished there to get that amount of views and spare
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: me that the kelsey family or travis kelsey somehow the
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: victim i love that There's always those fanboys and jock sniffers.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: There they are right there. Yeah, oh, that's a big
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: jock sniffer. And they love, they love to make these
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: players seem like victims. Now, if I'm not mistaken, and
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: you can correct me if I'm wrong, I'll give out
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: the number in a minute. The Kelsey family, especially Travis,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: bought a mansion on the busiest side of the sovereign
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: state of Kardashianville. It's a little villa. It is a
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: sovereign state, though. Yeah, much like that. Remember during COVID,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: the nut jobs in Seattle created their own little country there. Yeah.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: So anyway, and they put neon signs pointing to the driveway.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: They had that. They sold tickets to the neighborhood tour.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: They had the star maps out. And now the Kelseys
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: are standing on the front lawn screaming about all the traffic.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: Why are you here in our sovereign state of Kardashianville? Well,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: you told us about it and we like you and
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: all that stuff. You can't build a media empire. And
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: then all the attention that comes with that media empire
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and demand a privacy fence when things get inconvenient, inconvenient.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: All right, final point. To the follow-up from the follow-up,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: the claw. Oh, the claw. Now, as you may or
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: may not have seen, the hammer of God came down
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: on the Clippers. Many of you were very happy. I
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: got some lengthy email messages. I chose not to go
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: through most of those who were very happy. I think
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: they had an orgasm because of Adam Silver's punishment of
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: the Clippers, which was really a badge of honor. It
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: shows you how hurt you were by the Clippers. And
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: it's like, look at the doll and tell me where
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: he hurt you. And I get it. I would be happy, too,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: if I was a historian and the Clippers owned L.A.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and all that. I would be upset in all those
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: great urinals at the Intua Dome. Totally get it. I understand.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: And I'm flattered. I really am flattered. I didn't really
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: confirm my hypothesis years ago that it's hip to clip. Now,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: one of the stories here, though, is how soft Adam
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Silver went on Kawhi Leonard. gave them what we call
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: the Altuve. Altuve was one of the masterminds of that
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: cheating scandal in Houston when they cheated to win the
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: World Series and then turned out that Rob Manford, the
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: commissioner of baseball, didn't have any balls and couldn't punish
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Altuve or any of the other players. So similar to that,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Kawhi Leonard cleared anywhere from $ 1. 3 to I've seen over
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: $ 2 million from these under-the-table no-show jobs, and the NBA
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: fined him $ 700, 000. So any way you slice it, He
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: cleared either $ 600, 000 or as much as almost $ 2 million
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: when you consider all the other money. And he only
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: was fined $ 700, 000. So I believe that's money that he'd
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: be happy to send back. Why not? Because he came
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: out ahead in the end. Now, I bring this up
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: because Kawhi had maintained that he did not know the
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: rules surrounding salary cap circumvention. He attempted to distance himself.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: from knowingly participating in any improper benefit arrangement. Okay, fine.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: So that podcast nerd challenged that defense by resurfacing some
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: old interview that seven people listened to, in which Kawhi
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Leonard discussed the importance of understanding NBA business and contract rules. Now, Leonard,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: in that particular interview and previous conversations, which are rare—
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: rare for him. Leonard previously portrayed himself as someone who
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: educated himself about the league's financial system, making his professed
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: ignorance in the Clipper case seemingly impossible, certainly hard to process. Now,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: the question is this. Kawhi Leonard conflicting statements on knowing
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: NBA salary cap rules and How does this hit you?
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: So the whole I'm just an innocent bystander defense, it
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: reminds me of the bull crap the A-holes were giving out.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Remember when Altuve probably had the buzzer there in the
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: ALCS and he wouldn't have his jersey ripped off and
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Everyone has their jersey ripped off when they hit a
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: game-winning home run in the playoffs, and he didn't do it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: And most knowledgeable people believe it's because he had a
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: buzzer and he wouldn't do it, and he said it
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: was something else. And, you know, they just come up
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: with these ridiculous things. And they know, the people in
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: sports know, there's a lot of these fans, unfortunately, who
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: are complete idiots and will fall for any of this crap.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: And so they do it. And Kawhi Leonard over there, like,
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: come on, please. Innocent bystander. Yeah, right. Come on. Just
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: toss that into the paper shredder. and hit the max speed,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: come on. And for years, and there's plenty of quotes
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: out there, Kawhi didn't do a lot of interviews, but
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: he always presented himself as Professor Cap, Professor Salary Cap,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: the ultimate savvy NBA businessman who understands every financial rule
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: in the jungle. And now that this whole aspiration thing
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: funny money arrangement is being called out it's under the
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: microscope now that the heat is on he throws his
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: hands up in the air everywhere and he gives us
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: an emoji kawaii sent out a shrugging emoji metaphorically of
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: course metaphorically of course and what a joke Look, you
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: cannot brag for years about knowing exactly how the sausage
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: gets made. And then when the investigators find some questionable
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: sausage in your refrigerator, you claim you've never seen a kitchen.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: You have no idea what a kitchen is. It's ridiculous,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: ridiculous on its face. And Kawhi's credibility right now is
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: smoking like a 1994 Buick climbing up the grapevine in California,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: if you know what that is, outside L.A. on the
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: way to Bakersfield there. Absolutely cooked. Absolutely cooked. It is
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• 21:40
  Speaker 1: some of the blank so fans could enjoy the vintage
• 21:45
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• 21:51
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• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Des Moines says they need to invest in upgrades, so
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: says Fergdon. All right. JT, the wingman who lives just
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: outside Knoxville, says Moonshine Stills is the answer. Donkey Sausage
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: and Rob in the 3-2-1 got it right. Bad job
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: by them. Timmy from Busco, Indiana says, Says the volunteers
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: kept some of the old hot dog buns. They look good.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Why not? Atomic Kevin writes in, says old soda cups
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: and nacho trays left under the seats. That's solid. Analog
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Al got it right. Nimbus Bottas, a.k.a. Nimbot, going with
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Lot Lizard. Lot Lizards is his answer. Peyton Manning's under
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: ruse from DJ Spin, our friend Patrick. In San Diego.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: What else do we have? Let's see. Page down. Alf
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: the Alien O'Piner got it right. Bad job by him.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: King Rory went with the Mountain Dew Scented Soap. Got
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: to leave that in there. Yeah. Late Night Drug Tester
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: says they kept the Peyton Manning Heimlich section. Luke the
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Vending Guy checks in with Wave Pools. Who doesn't love
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: a good wave pool? What else? Andy and Lionel Lakes
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: may or may not have cheated. He got it right.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Fergdog says David Vasse didn't pay off the bet. What
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: a weasel. He didn't walk home? I can't believe that.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: What's up with that? Just Josh in Cincinnati says they
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: kept some of the old phone numbers off of the
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: bathroom wall. All right. Well, let's get to the payoff
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: on this. The Malheur Riddle of the Day. Despite upgrades
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: to Neyland Stadium, Tennessee decided to keep some of the
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: blank so fans could enjoy the vintage college football experience. Lorena,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: do you have an answer? Some of their old bathrooms.
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: Everyone loves old bathrooms. Old bathrooms. All right. Is that
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: your final answer? Well, it's kind of right, but you
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: got to be more specific. The correct answer is they
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: kept The troughs in the men's room. So you can
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: let it all out, and your fellow man can stand
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: right next to you. That's beautiful. Not really. They had those.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know if they still do at Dodger Stadium.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: They had those. In Buffalo, I went to one Bills
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: game in my life, and I walked in the bathroom.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: It was the funniest thing. They weren't even called Bills
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Mafia when I was there. I don't know what they
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: were called, just fans. And I walked into the men's room.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: to take care of the business there, and they had
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: troughs everywhere, but they had signs on the troughs, and
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: they had signs on the sink, and the signs on
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: the trough, if I remember correctly, said, like, stay out,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: and the signs on the sink said, this is not
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: a toilet, it's a sink, don't, you know, I guess
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: people would just pee in the sink, and, you know, anyway,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: all right, let's go to the phones. Let's say hello
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: to eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Let's go to Neil, who's
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: in the belly of the beast in Knoxville. What's going on, Neil?
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: Welcome.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: You're on the radio show.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: Good morning, Ben. So I am a UT alum. I
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: can see the stadium from my front door. And I've
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: got to say, I don't know why all men's rooms
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: don't have troughs. Nealon and Wrigley are the only two.
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: I know left, but why not?
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: You are Team Trough. You enjoy the trough experience?
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: I am Team Trough. Efficiency.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm more of a privacy guy, you know. I
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you this, Torrey, man. When I was a
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: kid in my elementary school, of course we had a trough,
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: but you could stand on the trough and pee out
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: of the window. So for a seven-year-old boy, that was
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: quite the fun experience. Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Well, that does sound like a fun experience as a
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: 7-year-old boy. I don't disagree with you on that. What
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: kind of school did you go to? They didn't tell
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: you to do that. You guys just figured it out
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: to open the window, I'm guessing, yes?
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was an old school. I believe my grandfather
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: went to the same elementary school.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I'm hoping that you did not. I'm hoping you did not.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: There was no one on the second floor. Was it
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: a second floor window or was it the first floor?
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: No, no, it was a basement window.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay. Because there was a famous broadcaster years ago
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: that got in a lot of trouble at a bar
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: in Cleveland when he urinated out of the second floor
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: window and someone was standing on the first floor and
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: did not appreciate the shower that they got. Did not
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: like that. Well, not many people I know, Neil, enjoy
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: the trough. I think it's because of your childhood. I'm
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: going to use some psychobabble. If it wasn't for that
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: window as a kid... you would not be Team Troth
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: now as an older man. Probably not.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: You walk in and see a Troth, though, and it
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: brings back good memories.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: All right. What song, have you heard the Dolly thing?
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: What song they're going to use there from Dolly in
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: the fourth quarter? I have not.
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: Her version of Rocky Top is great, but I got
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: to think Jolene.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I I'm thinking Rocky top. Cause it's, you know, that's perfect.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I know it's other people have done it a lot,
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: but that I, I I'm going Rocky top.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Anyway.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: All right. Well, thank you, Neil. Appreciate that. All right. Lorraine,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: you want to get in on this? I'm going Rocky top.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: That's a no brainer.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: Tennessee football. Yeah.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I don't think Jolene is going to be it at all. Yeah.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: What a nine to five. That wouldn't really work. No,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: probably the, I will always love you song. I think
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: that would really get the crowd hyped. What kind of
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: medication are you on again? And I will always love you.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: That was good, right? No, it's got to be a classic, right?
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: It's got to be a classic. It can't be anything.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: It's got to be from like the 70s or the
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: early 80s or something like that. I didn't know she
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: did a version of Rocky Top. I feel like that's
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: the answer. There's no other answer, right? Yeah, that's... What
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: else are you going to do? Jingle bells? She did
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: jingle bells. That really wouldn't work, you know, right? All right, well,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: that's no fun. We've ruined that game. Let's see who's next. Steenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: pick a caller by their name. Let's see what a
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Mike in Dallas. Hello, Mike. Welcome. You're on the Ben
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Maller Show on Fox. Hey, Ben.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: The other night I tried calling in, but I got
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: stuck behind the, what's his name, the pothead or the
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: weed guy?
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the pothead. We call him the pothead.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, then I fell asleep, and then when I woke up,
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I was off the line. Did you all hear me snoring?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: No, I don't remember you snoring that well. I remember
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: him falling asleep. He was not snoring at all. It
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: was disappointing. Yeah, it only works if you snore.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Okay, and then I want to talk about your baseball.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: You were talking about Altuve cheating. But then I have
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: a question for Lorena.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of content. You're very prepared here, Mike.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of content. How many cigarettes do
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: you have left, by the way?
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: Well, no, I'm out. And the hotel lady said there's
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: not a gas station for half a mile.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Are you homeless?
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: I have some weed.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: Are you homeless?
• 29:32
  Speaker 5: Are you.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: No, I'm playing shuffleboard here in Austin.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you were in Dallas. You're in Austin.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: Well, for the night.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, for the night. You're from Dallas.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: For a couple of days. I'm going to make a
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: very succinct point about baseball. I mean, I hate talking
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: about baseball, but.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: You called up to talk about baseball. You don't have
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: to talk about baseball. I'm not making you talk about baseball.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: You can talk about anything you want. You don't have to.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: We can talk about shuffleboard. Let's talk shuffleboard. You want
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: to talk shuffleboard? We can talk shuffleboard.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: No, I hate you dispersing misinformation about cheating in baseball.
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: What did I say that was incorrect?
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Well, you were blaming everything on the Astros and Altuve.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: And around the same time.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: They cheated in the World Series. I think it's kind
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: of obvious. And they didn't get punished. They didn't get punished.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: So I think that's fair.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: But you know why they had such an easy punishment?
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Because Rob Manfred has no balls?
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: The things that I heard was that the Red Sox
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: were doing the same things. They had a light in
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: the outfield that would, you know, AI or whatever, be
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: hooked up, see the signal from the catcher, and they'd
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: blink a light or two in the outfield, and that
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: would tell the hitter, you know, what pitch was coming.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: Same thing was happening with the Yankees. Why do you think.
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: Judge was hitting so many home runs.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: So you're using, let me tell you what, you're using
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: the everyone was doing it defense, which is, does that
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: ever work, by the way? Does the everyone was doing
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: it defense work? Well, it's the same way why everyone
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: was saying football players. If I pull you over and
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: I say, hey, how fast were you going? And you say, well,
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I was going like 10 miles over the speed limit.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: But I was going the same speed as traffic. Okay,
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: so everyone was speeding. Do you get out of the ticket?
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: Well, no, but you got to tell the whole story.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: They didn't walk up to the bus. The whole story
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: is you like the Astros, and you're going to try
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: to defend them, so you're using the everyone else. Enjoy Austin.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Enjoy the shuffleboard. I got to go. All right, we
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: have Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week. We'll get
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: to all of those jokes coming up in a couple
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: of minutes, and it's going to be amazing. Is Weed
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Man there, by the way? Is the Weed Man? He is,
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: all right. This guy, he shows up. He can't keep
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: a job, but with us, he shows up every time now.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: It's amazing, the ability for him to show up. It's
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: next level. Anyway, we will get to that. Big Ben's
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Lame Jokes of the Week. For the rest of the hour,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: the Comedy Club is open. We'll get to it. We
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: will do it next.
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
• 32:36
  Speaker 5: Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific.
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio. We thank you
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: for hanging out with us. We're here all night, every night.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Try the roast beef. I hear it's pretty good tonight.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: You can check out the show anywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: It goes literally everywhere. And you can hear the show
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: live on the Fox Sports Radio channel because that's who
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: broadcasts the show on the Fox Sports Radio channel. You
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: can also hear the Ben Maller Show podcast and the
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: Fifth Hour podcast. Both of those things will be up today.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: And you can enjoy the Fifth Hour podcast, a post-game
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: recap of the epic Maller meet-and-greet we had last weekend
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: in Lost Wages, Nevada. So check that out. And the
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Ben Maler Show podcast and all that, all on the
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app. Make us a P1, a P2, a P3.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Knock, knock.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Who's there?
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: Lame week. Lame week who?
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's Lame Joke of the Week. All right,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: right to it we go. Are you ready, Weed Man?
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: Weed Man Hippie Miami, right there.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: I'm going to try to download Zoom right after this call.
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: You're not going to download Zoom, Weed Man. What are
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: you doing?
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: I'm going to try and it just doesn't work. I'm
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: telling you.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: I know.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I know. I love you, but you're not. I'm going
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: to try. I know you.
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I know. What is Weed Man's favorite color?
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: What?
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: Hazy. Michael in Tulsa. What did Weed Man say when
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: he was offered a trip to Maui? What? Maui? Wowie
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: is what he said. That's Surfer Todd, the comedian. It
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: was great to see Surfer Todd and his lovely wife
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: last week there in Vegas. What did Weed Man say
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: when he heard Stan Kroenke bought the Angels?
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: Wow, what?
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: He said, if I change my name to Angel, maybe
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Stan will pay me too, said Eric in Kansas.
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: That'd be great.
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: I'm sure it would. Why does Weed Man get frustrated
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: with an apple?
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: Why?
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Well, he can't bite into it because he can't find
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: his teeth. That's why. That's Michael in Tulsa. Any luck
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: with your teeth? No luck with your teeth. Oh, terrible.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: Did you hear that Weed Man's son, what his son's
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: name is? Did you hear about that? Michael. No, no,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: that's actually not true. Your son's name is Bud. You
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: ruined the joke, Weed Man. Bud, is there something? That's
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Brendan from Boston. Did you hear the lifeguard couldn't save
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Weed Man hippie? Did you hear about that? Oh, no.
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: Why?
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he said you're too far out, man. You're just
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: too far out, man. That's from George. George, George, George.
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: All right. Why is Weed Man's electric bill so high? Why?
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: Two words, grow room. That's Brendan from Boston again. He
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: also sent the Weed Man son joke.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Why did Weed Man invite Jed York to Florida?
• 35:56
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Well, Florida has the greatest trailer parks. That's from our
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: friend the leprechaun in Boston. Why, or Worcester, why did
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Weed Man want to become a carpenter?
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: Well, he thought it was where they made joints. You know,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: the carpenters make the joints.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: Also from the leprechaun.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: That's funny.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: This one's from Eek in Roseville, Minnesota. Why do Lorena
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: and Coop break out in a rash when they get
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: their paychecks?
• 36:27
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: They're allergic to peanuts.
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: All right.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: There you go.
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: Very funny.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: Why? Why?
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, it is, Jeannie. Why did Lorena throw a box
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: of Lucky Charms at Michael Leprechaun?
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Why?
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Because she's magically malicious. That's pretty good.
• 36:50
  Speaker 6: That's Kurt.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Kurt from Earth sent that one in. If you'd like
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: to send jokes in for a future show, care of
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show at gmail.com. BenMallerShow at gmail.com. Why shouldn't
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: you order hay for your horse off Amazon?
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Well, it turns out a few days later they're going
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: to ask you for your feedback. They want your feedback.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Mike from Wisconsin sent that one in. What kind of
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: cousins are Anthony in Louisiana and Lorena?
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: What?
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Kissing uh that's just josh from cincinnati who sent that
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: one in these are big ben's lame jokes of the
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: week actual jokes by actual listeners care again ben malice
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: show at gmail.com jokes in the headline if you want
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: to send jokes in for next week did you hear
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: that the wnba is expanding to east palestine ohio wow
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: really Yeah, it's pretty exciting news that they're going to
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: be putting a team there. According to sources, there's no
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: market that better appreciates a botched layup. Hey-oh! That's Gordon
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: at Tacoma. Dad Joke Dan sent this one in, said
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: a son came home from school and said, Dad, I
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: got a part in the school play. And the dad said, oh, really? Yeah,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: he said, and the kid said, I play a man
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: who's been married 30 years. And the dad replied, Weed Man.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: He said, well, son, maybe next time you'll get a
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: speaking role.
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: Hey-oh!
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: All right, that's Dad Joke Dan. Thank you for that
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: dad joke, Dan. Tiger Woods was told he can't drive
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: for five years after pleading guilty in court. He said
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: it's no big deal for the last five years he
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: hasn't been able to drive, chip, or putt. So it's
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: really not much of a difference there. That's George. I
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: think I might have butchered that one. But George in Rochester. Minnesota. Well,
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: here's some exciting news for our friends in the Bay Area.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Did you hear the 49ers owner Jed York is considering
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: changing the name of the team after he was busted
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: in East Palestine, Ohio with a prostitute who was a
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: fake prostitute. Wow.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Apparently the new team is a simple change. The
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: San Francisco 69ers. That's Noah in Austin. Thank you, Weed Man.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: Weed Man. We love you, buddy. The great Weed Man.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: It'd be no chance to get Zoom. You're not going
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: to get Zoom. I know you're not. I know it.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: I know it.