Latest / Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic / 82: The Worthiness Experiment | What If Your Worth Wasn't on the Line?

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82: The Worthiness Experiment | What If Your Worth Wasn't on the Line? · Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

• 0:00
  Hey, friend.
• 0:01
  Welcome back to Banish the Lies.
• 0:04
  I'm doing something a little different today.
• 0:06
  Instead of our usual longer Thursday episode, I've got a shorter reflection for you.
• 0:12
  I have to admit, it's been one of those weeks.
• 0:15
  I worked until 10 o'clock the other night, and yesterday I barely came up for air.
• 0:21
  And as I was wondering how on earth I was going to get a Thursday episode ready, I remembered that I'd already been working on a Monday moment for next week.
• 0:30
  And here's where I had to laugh at myself a bit, because the reflection in that episode I was working on is about recognizing that our worth isn't determined by how well we perform or whether we meet every expectation, including the ones we place on ourselves.
• 0:49
  Oh, the irony.
• 0:51
  So rather than pushing myself to produce a longer episode just because it's Thursday, I'm reminding myself that I can care deeply about this podcast and about showing up for you without needing to get everything exactly right.
• 1:07
  And maybe that's something you need to hear today, too.
• 1:10
  So here is the worthiness experiment
• 1:17
  Tania: Welcome to Banish the Lies, the podcast where we outsmart that sneaky inner critic and get closer to the truth that sets us free.
• 1:25
  Tania: I'm Tania Cervoni your host and fellow work in Progress here to share real stories and small shifts that help you reclaim what fear and doubt once stole.
• 1:36
  Tania: Let's jump in.
• 1:41
  Recently, I witnessed something really beautiful in a close friend of mine, and I wanted to share it with you.
• 1:50
  Not long ago, one of my friends came into a much deeper realization of her own inherent worth.
• 1:57
  There's a long backstory to how she got there, but witnessing her really recognize and embrace her own value gave me so much joy.
• 2:07
  And then shortly after she had this big breakthrough, she received a job offer, and watching how she negotiated that offer was fascinating to me because even though I know she still has doubts about her abilities and what she brings to the table, she was able to advocate for a salary that really honored her needs.
• 2:31
  It's a bit hard to articulate exactly what I was sensing in her, but it just felt like she had this quiet steadiness that didn't depend on feeling completely confident.
• 2:44
  And I think witnessing that planted a little seed in my mind that had me reflect upon how I might show up differently in the world, in my relationships, in the opportunities that come my way if I approach them from that same place of knowing my worth.
• 3:03
  Well, the universe gave me a little opportunity to explore that question.
• 3:08
  In my corporate day job, we were launching a new training program for a client that we'd been working with for several months, and unfortunately, on the morning of the official launch, our facilitator became very ill.
• 3:22
  So with very little notice, my colleague who was leading the project invited me to co-facilitate the session with her.
• 3:30
  And let me just tell you, every cell in my body did not want to do it.
• 3:36
  I cared deeply about the outcome.
• 3:38
  The stakes were high, the conditions were far from ideal, and with so little time to prepare, the chances of me stumbling over my words or forgetting something important or making mistakes were pretty high.
• 3:55
  I was incredibly nervous, and it likely goes without saying that I wasn't feeling particularly confident.
• 4:03
  But here's what surprised me.
• 4:05
  Underneath all that nervousness, there was this unexpected sense of peace, a kind of steadiness that I can't fully explain.
• 4:15
  And I had to wonder whether that little seed that was planted by my friend's experience had begun to take root, because somehow I was able to walk into that session knowing I might get things wrong, knowing that the outcome really mattered, yet without feeling quite so personally threatened by the possibility of screwing up.
• 4:37
  And that was not only remarkable, but I think it's an important distinction.
• 4:43
  I don't have to feel fully confident in my ability to do something in order to feel secure in my worth as a person.
• 4:51
  I can feel nervous, I can make mistakes, I can care deeply about how something turns out, but none of those things has to determine my value.
• 5:01
  And I have to tell you, there was something incredibly freeing about that.
• 5:06
  Because as you might already assume if you've been here for a while, I spend so much of my time examining my thoughts, questioning my beliefs, looking for things I need to work on or improve, and of course there's value in all of that.
• 5:22
  But it's so refreshing to approach a situation from a place of wholeness rather than from a place that assumes that there's something about me that I need to fix first or that there's some fault I need to get ahead of So here's my invitation for today.
• 5:45
  At some point in the day, or maybe in the coming days, you might find yourself facing something that makes you feel uncertain or a little outside your comfort zone, or maybe a lot outside your comfort zone.
• 6:00
  And rather than trying to manufacture confidence or convince yourself that everything is gonna go perfectly, maybe just experiment with one simple but powerful question: What if my worth wasn't on the line?
• 6:17
  What might change about how you approach that moment?
• 6:22
  You don't have to suddenly feel fearless, and actually, you don't even have to know the answer.
• 6:30
  Just try the question on and see what happens.
• 6:33
  Have a beautiful day.
• 6:38
  Tania: Thanks for listening to Banish The Lies.
• 6:41
  Tania: If today's episode resonated with you, take a moment to let it settle in.
• 6:45
  Tania: And maybe share it with a friend who could use it too.
• 6:48
  Tania: Lies, lose their power when we're brave enough to challenge them.
• 6:52
  Tania: I'm Tania Cervoni and until next time, be kind to yourself.
• 6:56
  Tania: And remember, you're not broken, you're not alone, and you don't have to stay stuck.