Latest / Marriage Life and More and Bible Study / When Dreams Don't Go as Planned Pt 2 (Marriage Reset Series) - 301

Transcript

When Dreams Don't Go as Planned Pt 2 (Marriage Reset Series) - 301 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

0:05
Daniel Moore: Marriage has a funny way of starting with big dreams and late-night what if conversations, and then somehow ending up as two people standing in the kitchen at 9 p.m.
0:15
Daniel Moore: arguing about who forgot to move the laundry.
0:18
Daniel Moore: In this episode, we're talking about why God didn't design marriage just to survive schedules, pay bills, and politely coexist.
0:26
Daniel Moore: But to dream together, serve together, and aim for something bigger than comfort.
0:31
Daniel Moore: Whether your shared dream is adopting a child, serving your community, starting a ministry, or just figuring out how to be on the same page again, we'll explore how dreaming together can breathe life back into your relationship.
0:44
Daniel Moore: Because when couples stop dreaming, they don't usually notice it right away.
0:48
Daniel Moore: They just slowly trade soulmates for roommates.
0:51
Daniel Moore: And we're here to help you flip that script with faith, purpose, and maybe a little laughter along the way.
0:58
Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
1:07
Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies, and we interview people with inspiring stories.
1:12
Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host, and once again over here next to me this week is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
1:19
Michelle Moore: Hey, hey.
1:20
Daniel Moore: She even waved at you.
1:21
Michelle Moore: Can't even see it.
1:22
Daniel Moore: Yeah, thank you guys for joining us this week.
1:24
Daniel Moore: If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at Marriage Life and more.
1:28
Daniel Moore: Our platforms, our YouTube and Remo links are there.
1:30
Daniel Moore: We're also in the Christian Podcasting app at Edifi.
1:32
Daniel Moore: We're also on your Alexa and Google Smart Devices.
1:35
Daniel Moore: You can also visit us on social, on Facebook, Instagram, and X at CTGAP Online.
1:40
Daniel Moore: If you're a fan of our show, please subscribe.
1:43
Daniel Moore: Leave a comment on our platforms, give us a thumbs up or five-star review and Apple Podcast, and we'd be eternally thankful to you for doing that.
1:51
Daniel Moore: Well, last week we started off episode 12 and made it through the first half of that one.
1:57
Daniel Moore: And as we mentioned, if you guys have listened to it, you'll know that that is the last episode that we have in our series for marriage reset: Roommates to Soulmates in Your Marriage.
2:08
Daniel Moore: And as we left last week, we were talking about if you're in this situation where you feel like you're a roommate, and we've gone through all these different episodes, and maybe you've kind of started figuring out what some of your issues are and the different things, different dynamics maybe that's going on in your marriage.
2:25
Daniel Moore: Uh, there's no better way, I don't think, to wrap it up than what we're discussing last week and this week.
2:32
Daniel Moore: Because regardless of what you try to fix in your marriage, the issues that you may have, if you still don't put dreams into place and have dreams to try to attain as a couple, then it's going to be real difficult still to nurture that intimacy and that closeness that you have if you're just existing.
2:51
Daniel Moore: And so this part about dreaming in marriage is very important.
2:56
Daniel Moore: But sometimes in marriages, dreams just don't go as they were planned.
3:01
Daniel Moore: And that's what we're going to talk about this week as we wrap up our series on marriage reset, as we get back into episode 12.
3:23
Michelle Moore: We wholeheartedly urge you to rediscover the importance of dreaming together as a couple.
3:30
Michelle Moore: God brought you into unity to accomplish something extraordinary.
3:36
Michelle Moore: Your marriage should aim for more than just personal satisfaction, minor disagreements, or the chase for comfort.
3:44
Michelle Moore: Marriages that are solely inward looking often leave couples feeling unfulfilled.
3:51
Michelle Moore: The love you share is meant to bless others as well.
3:55
Michelle Moore: Pursuing a mutual dream can keep your relationship flourishing.
3:59
Michelle Moore: Your shared dream may look different, and that's perfectly okay.
4:04
Michelle Moore: When couples have been asked about their shared dreams, they have shared many different responses over the years, whether it may be raising godly children, to get out of debt so we can financially support a ministry, or coach a youth sports team together, where we could bake cookies for a retirement home, provide foster care, we could serve veterans, adopt a child, or go on a short-term missions trip, volunteer at a local food bank or homeless shelter, work with troubled youth, mentor a young married couple, serve single parents in our church, or help troubled marriages, or volunteer at a women's shelter or crisis pregnancy center, provide respite care for parents of foster children, tutor immigrants studying for the citizen test, become a foster grandparent, start a new business together, build homes for habitat for humanity, serve on the mission field in Africa, start a ministry for the homeless in the city, become youth pastors, or write a book together.
5:19
Michelle Moore: Maybe minister to Olympic ice skaters.
5:22
Daniel Moore: As I look at this list, you and I have done several of these that seems way out there.
5:28
Michelle Moore: I know.
5:28
Michelle Moore: When you minister to Olympic ice skaters, I mean you just didn't know.
5:32
Michelle Moore: I mean, here in Missouri, that's like, you know, amazing.
5:34
Daniel Moore: Yep.
5:35
Daniel Moore: Just kidding.
5:35
Daniel Moore: Well, we've uh we've provided foster care.
5:38
Michelle Moore: Yep.
5:39
Daniel Moore: And we have volunteered to help kind of like a food bank where you feed home homeless type people.
5:47
Daniel Moore: We did that ministry for a while at a different church where our church came in and we cooked a meal and and fed them and that kind of thing.
5:54
Daniel Moore: We've we now mentor married couples and we help troubled marriages.
6:00
Daniel Moore: I mean, there's several things there that at one point in time in our past wasn't on our radar.
6:06
Daniel Moore: By any stretch of the imagination.
6:08
Daniel Moore: We'd never ever thought of us being doing some of those things making a difference.
6:13
Daniel Moore: But one thing I did notice here with all of this list that you just shared is did you notice how they're about other people?
6:21
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
6:21
Michelle Moore: They're not selfishly pointed towards just uh definitely serving other people.
6:26
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
6:26
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
6:27
Daniel Moore: I think when, and this was a list, as you said, when you first started reading this, these are answers that other couples gave when they were asked about that.
6:36
Daniel Moore: And I think that goes to show the importance of doing outside ministry as a couple.
6:42
Daniel Moore: It not only helps yourselves, but helping other people and how that can just change your life dramatically.
6:50
Michelle Moore: Absolutely.
6:50
Daniel Moore: I think that was really cool because you're reading all of that.
6:52
Daniel Moore: I was like, you know, hardly none of those are serving themselves.
6:56
Daniel Moore: Right.
6:56
Daniel Moore: Almost every one of them is looking out there.
6:58
Daniel Moore: So maybe that's an inspiration for somebody that has is listening today.
7:03
Daniel Moore: Maybe you're maybe you're in a uh have a block, middle block going on, you can't think of what to do.
7:09
Daniel Moore: Maybe it's because you're looking too many too much towards what can me and my spouse do just for us.
7:15
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
7:15
Daniel Moore: Maybe you need to expand those borders a little bit and think outside the box.
7:18
Michelle Moore: Yeah, it's good.
7:19
Daniel Moore: So go ahead.
7:20
Michelle Moore: The opportunities for a shared purpose in marriage are limitless.
7:24
Michelle Moore: It isn't about chasing a specific goal as much as it is about being united in a vision that reaches beyond yourselves and brings hope and encouragement to others.
7:35
Michelle Moore: Consider couples like John and Susanna Wes Wesley, who raise children that help spark spiritual revival on a modern day couple who open their homes for mentorship, leading community outreach projects, or serve overseas.
7:52
Michelle Moore: Their impact flowed from a shared heart to serve and uplift others, not simply from their individual pursuits.
8:00
Michelle Moore: Take, for example, the story of Priscilla and Aquila in the early church.
8:07
Michelle Moore: They were known for their deep commitment to God and to each other.
8:11
Michelle Moore: Together they worked, traveled, and partnered with the Apostle Paul in ministry.
8:17
Michelle Moore: Through their trade was tent making, their calling as a couple was far greater.
8:22
Michelle Moore: They led, taught, hosted gatherings of believers in their home, and played a key role in nurturing young leaders like Apollos.
8:32
Michelle Moore: Remarkably, Scripture never refers to one without the other.
8:37
Michelle Moore: They were always a team standing side by side in mission and purpose.
8:43
Michelle Moore: An inspiring aspect of the relationship is the way Scripture seems to emphasize their mutual respect and equality.
8:51
Michelle Moore: In culture, where women often regarded as subject, the Apostle Paul affirmed that both as co-laborers in the kingdom.
9:02
Michelle Moore: Sometimes Priscilla's name is mentioned first, and sometimes Aquilus, an intentional reminder of the balance and shared leadership that define their marriage.
9:14
Michelle Moore: Some even believe Priscilla could have authored the Book of Hebrews, highlighting her deep spiritual insight.
9:22
Michelle Moore: Much like this influential couple, we believe every marriage holds the potential for something greater than personal dreams.
9:30
Michelle Moore: Your calling as a couple carries a unique power that individual efforts alone may never achieve.
9:37
Michelle Moore: God sees the strength in your union and the lasting impact you can make together.
9:43
Michelle Moore: Take some time and discuss these questions.
9:46
Michelle Moore: What might God be calling us to do together to serve Him and bless others?
9:53
Michelle Moore: What are some common goals, hopes, and dreams we can pursue together?
9:59
Michelle Moore: What do we want our life together to be like five years from now?
10:04
Michelle Moore: Ten years?
10:06
Michelle Moore: Twenty years?
10:07
Michelle Moore: Fifty years?
10:09
Michelle Moore: At the end of our life together, what accomplishments do we want to be able to look back over and celebrate?
10:17
Michelle Moore: What qualities do we want people to remember about us?
10:21
Michelle Moore: What values do we want to pass on to our children and grandchildren?
10:26
Michelle Moore: In what specific ways are we creating a marriage worth repeating for our children?
10:32
Michelle Moore: I love that.
10:33
Michelle Moore: What kind of legacy do we want to leave?
10:36
Michelle Moore: Those are really good.
10:38
Daniel Moore: They are.
10:44
Michelle Moore: Oh, I think I said the name wrong.
10:46
Daniel Moore: Oh, it's fine.
10:46
Daniel Moore: It's pronounced different ways.
10:48
Daniel Moore: But that the book that I wrote, uh, Marriage is a Mission, I actually use this story also as an example.
10:54
Daniel Moore: And this one will come up quite often if if you if you go online and Google couples in the Bible that m done ministry together and made a difference as a couple, this is one of them that will almost always pop up pretty much first at the top of the list.
11:11
Daniel Moore: And the reason I think that this story is so important when you look at it from a couple's aspect of two couples or two people in a relationship doing ministry together, one of the chapters in my book was about how as married couples, that is an expectation that God has of us.
11:30
Daniel Moore: Yes, is we need to be in ministry.
11:34
Daniel Moore: We need to be pouring into other people.
11:36
Daniel Moore: We we take care of ourselves first, uh, ask God to pour into our lives, ask him to search our hearts, uh, you know, take out all those bad things, and we live for him.
11:47
Daniel Moore: And then our next goal then should be pouring into others and becoming a team to go out and to further the kingdom.
11:56
Daniel Moore: And that's exactly what Priscilla and Akeelah did.
11:59
Daniel Moore: And it even got so far to the point where it talked about Apollos there, they found out that he was teaching some things to people that weren't quite right.
12:08
Daniel Moore: And they were so ingrained into the ministry that God had called them to to make sure that it was done right, that they went and had a meeting with Apollos and they trained him further so that he could then spread the gospel the the correct way and tell it correctly the way it was supposed to be done.
12:26
Daniel Moore: And if them two had argued and fought and kicked and screamed, and I'm not gonna do this because you want to do it, and no matter what your dream is, my dream's this, and I'm going off a separate direction and gonna do whatever I want to do, uh that never would have happened.
12:43
Daniel Moore: Um, a lot of churches, and they also took Paul in as well.
12:47
Daniel Moore: Uh, that was another part of this story.
12:49
Daniel Moore: Uh, Paul was being chased around by a lot of people at that time trying to kill him.
12:53
Daniel Moore: He kept getting thrown in jail, and he showed up as a stranger and they took him in and they allowed him to do tent working with them.
13:00
Daniel Moore: And so that was another part of that story that's not shared here.
13:03
Daniel Moore: If you look at the grand scope of all of that, if they've never allowed him to come in and give him harbor, if they had never went and talked to Apollos, those were two big instigators of the church and where the church is today.
13:15
Daniel Moore: Yeah, that may have never happened.
13:17
Daniel Moore: And so if you look back at that couple and see how because they opened their heart up and they allowed God to use them in whatever way that he wanted to, and they actually fulfilled that mission that God put within their hearts, and they took it to the fullest extent of whatever they just they just did what had to be done.
13:36
Daniel Moore: And because they did that, we have the church today in the way that it is.
13:42
Daniel Moore: And so you can't never say that, well, it doesn't matter.
13:47
Daniel Moore: You know, I'm nobody.
13:48
Daniel Moore: No matter what I do or whatever me and my spouse do, yeah, it might be noticed here in this little circle around me, but it's not that it's not gonna make that big a difference, you know.
13:57
Daniel Moore: And they and you just push it off.
14:00
Daniel Moore: You should never say that because you never know whose life you're going to touch.
14:05
Daniel Moore: You never know whose life you're gonna change or maybe even save.
14:08
Daniel Moore: That's right.
14:08
Daniel Moore: I mean, you just don't know about those those things that might come up with that.
14:13
Daniel Moore: And I do think these questions that you read here, like you said, those are really good questions to ask yourself because this these are soul searching questions.
14:24
Michelle Moore: Yeah, I was gonna say they're deep.
14:26
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
14:26
Daniel Moore: They're deep.
14:27
Daniel Moore: And sometimes we don't want to know what those answers are because we're terrified of where God's gonna send us next.
14:34
Daniel Moore: And so we have a tendency to not ask God some of these questions, but God has us here for a purpose, he has us here for a reason.
14:44
Daniel Moore: And so, because of that, if we are truly sold all in to doing what God has called us to do and to follow that path he set before us, that destiny that he's given us, the whole reason that he created us and put us here, if we're willing to fulfill that in our lives, we have to ask these tough questions.
15:03
Daniel Moore: And we have to ask God, you know, what are the answers to these?
15:08
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
15:08
Daniel Moore: And how do I move forward?
15:09
Daniel Moore: And that's a conversation that even us as couples have to have too.
15:13
Daniel Moore: Because we have to align with a lot of that.
15:16
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
15:16
Daniel Moore: So um, if you don't have anything else to add to that, you can go ahead and continue there.
15:21
Michelle Moore: Take everything that God begins to place on your hearts as a couple and surrender it to him in prayer.
15:27
Michelle Moore: He may answer quickly, or it might take years to see how things unfold.
15:32
Michelle Moore: Either way, keep pressing in and trusting his timing.
15:36
Michelle Moore: As Matthew 7 7 in the message translation encourages, be bold and straightforward.
15:43
Michelle Moore: Ask God for what you need, then let go of the timeline.
15:47
Michelle Moore: He knows exactly what your marriage needs and how your shared dream will impact others.
15:53
Michelle Moore: You might be thinking, That's easy for you to say.
15:57
Michelle Moore: Things worked out fine in that situation, but we aren't in your shoes.
16:02
Michelle Moore: The truth is we didn't have all the answers either.
16:06
Michelle Moore: We've come to believe that dreaming together as a couple isn't solely reaching the final destination.
16:13
Michelle Moore: It's just as much about the journey you embark on with each other and with God.
16:18
Michelle Moore: When you dream in unity, it creates a closeness between you that's hard to describe.
16:25
Michelle Moore: The connection, the honesty, and the spiritual unity deepen in ways that only shared purpose can bring.
16:34
Michelle Moore: And as one dream comes to life, or even if it ends in an unexpected way, don't stop dreaming.
16:42
Michelle Moore: Ask God what the next chapter is.
16:45
Michelle Moore: When we fixed things with us, we kept praying.
16:49
Michelle Moore: Lord, what do you have next for us?
16:52
Michelle Moore: We felt stirred in toward marriage ministry.
16:55
Michelle Moore: Working side by side has brought us to an incredible bond.
16:59
Michelle Moore: We communicate better, we connect emotionally, spiritually on a deeper level, and yes, even our physical intimacy has flourished.
17:08
Michelle Moore: There's something profound about building a future together, laying brick by brick toward a vision God planted in both of our hearts.
17:17
Michelle Moore: When you live out your shared calling, your marriage truly reflects the beauty of two becoming one.
17:24
Michelle Moore: As you keep dreaming together, stay attuned to God's voice.
17:28
Michelle Moore: Like the worship song, Nothing I Hold On To says so simply, I give it all to you, God, trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me.
17:40
Michelle Moore: Trust that he is doing exactly what that with your marriage.
17:44
Michelle Moore: The process might be messy at times, full of unexpected challenges and surprising turns, but it's all part of his design to shape you and your marriage into his likeness.
17:58
Michelle Moore: Be alert in the hard moments.
18:01
Michelle Moore: That's often where he speaks most clearly.
18:04
Michelle Moore: He knows the depths of your heart, and he will meet you right in the midst of your questions and struggles.
18:12
Michelle Moore: So don't give up on your dreams.
18:14
Michelle Moore: The blessings of dreaming together are far too valuable to let your relationship drift aimlessly through life.
18:23
Michelle Moore: Reconnect, reignite your shared vision, and start imagining your futures together once again.
18:33
Daniel Moore: I like that.
18:34
Daniel Moore: We have to be intentional.
18:36
Michelle Moore: The story of us.
18:37
Daniel Moore: We have to make sure that everything that we do, that we want a good purpose to come out of that to make a difference.
18:45
Daniel Moore: I know every time that I know speaking for myself, every time that I've done something to help another person, it's amazing how you feel so much more fulfilled.
18:55
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
18:56
Daniel Moore: Whenever you do something like that than if you just do it for your own gain.
19:00
Daniel Moore: And I think you can speak into this as well, just for us, even, uh, when we help other couples and we mentor other couples, have those breakthrough moments and those aha moments and those things that take place and all of that.
19:16
Daniel Moore: We get so excited.
19:18
Michelle Moore: We do.
19:18
Michelle Moore: I mean, it's just we want to celebrate.
19:20
Daniel Moore: Yes, it's just awesome just to watch God work, watch God move and change things, move those mountains, move those walls, re-reconstruct those boundaries, you know, all those things that happens in marriage sometimes.
19:32
Daniel Moore: We love seeing that.
19:34
Daniel Moore: And I think there's nothing more fulfilling than for us to be able to share that together with the other couple and not just being one of us.
19:42
Daniel Moore: So definitely we have to make sure that we work hard to keep those dreams alive! As we close out this series, we love a good love story.
20:18
Daniel Moore: But more importantly, we believe telling our love story is one of the most powerful ways we can keep our marriage strong.
20:25
Daniel Moore: Now the good news is it's not the particulars of our story that matter, it's how we tell it that's most important.
20:33
Daniel Moore: According to marriage researcher Dr.
20:35
Daniel Moore: John Gottman, he can predict with 94% accuracy if a couple will make it based solely on how they tell their story.
20:42
Daniel Moore: That's astounding.
20:43
Daniel Moore: In Gottman's study, couples who had a positive view of their history together were more likely to stay together.
20:50
Daniel Moore: Happy couples talked about their relationship in a positive way and filtered the early days through a rose-colored lens, a relationship filled with good times.
21:00
Daniel Moore: They were able to see their challenges as both painful and as experiences that grew them as a couple.
21:06
Daniel Moore: Unhappy couples, however, focused more on the difficult times, the pain and the struggles.
21:13
Daniel Moore: Sadly, they edited out all the good times as anomalies and altered their history to reflect their current state of unhappiness.
21:22
Daniel Moore: We are constantly telling our stories.
21:25
Daniel Moore: We use these for the marriage episodes we share, but we also tell them to our children and friends as well.
21:31
Daniel Moore: Author Jerry Jenkins has a wonderful perspective about sharing your story.
21:36
Daniel Moore: He says to tell your marriage story.
21:38
Daniel Moore: Tell it to your kids, your friends, your brothers and sisters, but especially to each other.
21:44
Daniel Moore: The more your story is implanted in your brain, the more it serves as a hedge against a marriage of forces that seek to destroy your marriage.
21:53
Daniel Moore: Make your story so familiar that it becomes part of the fabric of your being.
21:58
Daniel Moore: It should always become a Legend that is shared through the generations as you grow a family tree that defies all odds and boasts marriage after marriage of stability, strength, and longevity.
22:09
Daniel Moore: We want our love story to inspire our children.
22:12
Daniel Moore: We want to create a marriage worth repeating.
22:15
Daniel Moore: After all, our marriage is their blueprint for their future relationships.
22:20
Daniel Moore: They need to hear us talk about the fun times, the good times, the hard times, all of it, but from a positive viewpoint.
22:28
Daniel Moore: We want to remind them that God has brought us far.
22:32
Daniel Moore: And I can vouch for this.
22:34
Daniel Moore: Michelle and I, we can tell whenever you talk to a couple if they're very negative about everything in their relationship.
22:43
Daniel Moore: You can almost guarantee they're probably having some problems because it's that glass half full, half empty thing, but it's in a whole new perspective.
22:53
Daniel Moore: I think.
22:54
Daniel Moore: A lot of times.
23:06
Daniel Moore: Because yeah, we'd make some progress, but then we still saw the bad stuff and we're like, you know, is this really ever going to fix?
23:14
Daniel Moore: Are we ever going to really get back to where we need to be?
23:16
Daniel Moore: And it almost seemed like it was a really tall mountain to have to try to climb.
23:21
Daniel Moore: But I think since we've worked through everything and we've now flipped the story, and now anybody we talk to, how do we talk to them when we tell them about our testimony?
23:31
Michelle Moore: Oh, we're just splunt.
23:32
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
23:33
Michelle Moore: I mean we don't hide anything.
23:35
Michelle Moore: And you know, it it's okay because that's our story.
23:39
Daniel Moore: But we're positive about it.
23:41
Michelle Moore: I was gonna say, and not only that, I think like God restored our marriage, he can restore yours.
23:47
Michelle Moore: It's like it's just a miracle, and it's like we love talking about it, you know.
23:52
Michelle Moore: Yeah, you wouldn't say that, you know, five, six, seven years ago, because but I do, we we do.
23:57
Michelle Moore: We talk about it as in a positive way.
24:01
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
24:01
Daniel Moore: And a lot of times you can actually if you're talking to a couple that's really struggling, you can really kind of see the lights kind of come on just a little bit even while you're talking about it.
24:11
Daniel Moore: Cause I think in that moment they think maybe there's hope.
24:15
Michelle Moore: Well, it's a lot of times when you say you have problems and you can work through those and look at you now, but when they really hear your dirty laundry and you speak it out and they're like, they went through that and God restored their marriage, yeah, He can do that for ours.
24:35
Daniel Moore: Yep.
24:35
Daniel Moore: It just gives a whole new outlook on the situation and gives them something to work towards.
24:41
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
24:42
Daniel Moore: Because if God's done it for them, then why won't he do it for us?
24:44
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
24:44
Daniel Moore: And so it's very important, if anything, you get out of this today.
24:50
Daniel Moore: Make sure when you tell your story that tell it in a positive manner, all the good things that God has done.
24:56
Daniel Moore: Don't let the good stuff just become the tag ons at the end and let the bad stuff overpower the good.
25:03
Daniel Moore: Because anytime we have a good thing happen in our marriage, that's an awesome thing.
25:07
Daniel Moore: And we need to make sure that we, you know, keep that in our heart and think about that.
25:12
Daniel Moore: You know, what research has shown us, particularly through the work of Dr.
25:15
Daniel Moore: Gottman, is that the way couples tell the story of their relationship can greatly influence their long-term success.
25:21
Daniel Moore: Couples who reflect positively on their shared past, even during times of adversity, are far more likely to stay connected and committed.
25:29
Daniel Moore: They don't only talk about the happy memories, they also honor the struggles.
25:33
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
25:34
Daniel Moore: Something that you and I do.
25:35
Daniel Moore: Because we would never go, we would never want to go back and go through any of that ever again.
25:40
Daniel Moore: But we do know that if we hadn't have gone through those things, we would not be where we're at now.
25:44
Daniel Moore: We have grown so much from those struggles.
25:47
Daniel Moore: Healthy couples openly discuss both the joyful moments and the battles that they fought together.
25:53
Daniel Moore: So there you go.
25:54
Daniel Moore: That's that's why Michelle and I are so open about this stuff.
25:57
Daniel Moore: They share the full journey, the mountaintops, the valleys, the pivotal turning points that shape them.
26:02
Daniel Moore: These couples don't shy away from discussing the real difficulties, whether if it's financial problems, health scares, disagreements with family, challenges in parenting, betrayal or loneliness.
26:13
Daniel Moore: What's powerful though is that they don't stop there.
26:16
Daniel Moore: They also emphasize how those painful moments refine their character and strengthen their bond.
26:22
Daniel Moore: They talk about healing, perspective shifts, spiritual growth, counseling breakthroughs, and how God worked through their trials to bring about transformation.
26:31
Daniel Moore: They view the relationship as part of a greater, unfolding story.
26:35
Daniel Moore: As author Dave Willis puts it, your story is important, but more importantly, it should be wrapped up in the story that's bigger than you.
26:44
Daniel Moore: We agree with that wholeheartedly.
26:46
Daniel Moore: The significance of your marriage isn't found only in the milestones, memories, or shared history.
26:52
Daniel Moore: It lies in how your marriage fits into God's broader plan.
26:55
Daniel Moore: Your relationship should be visible reflection of your faith in Christ, radiating hope to those around you.
27:02
Daniel Moore: And that's something you and I do a lot because we know if it wasn't for Christ, we wouldn't be here right now.
27:08
Michelle Moore: Yeah, and we're so thankful that there are other couples that are willing to speak that out as well.
27:13
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
27:13
Michelle Moore: You know, I mean, we've talked to a couple of them, and it's like we would have never known, you know, and they are they they share it as well.
27:21
Michelle Moore: And it's, you know, it's it's good to hear that.
27:25
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
27:26
Daniel Moore: It's a very strong healing process when you're able to speak that stuff out and share.
27:33
Daniel Moore: It there is a huge healing that goes on even inside of you while you're doing that.
27:38
Daniel Moore: You know, one of the most vital parts of sharing your marriage journey is recognizing God's role throughout it all.
27:43
Daniel Moore: Couples who thrive don't just credit personal strength or luck.
27:47
Daniel Moore: They acknowledge God's guidance, provision, and his grace.
27:51
Daniel Moore: Couples like that live in the truth of Romans 8.28, which says that God works all things together for the good of those who love him and are living according to his purpose.
28:00
Daniel Moore: Even when God feels distant, he's never absent.
28:03
Daniel Moore: He is always working, molding you through struggles, protecting your heart, developing your spiritual maturity, and writing something worthwhile with your lives.
28:13
Daniel Moore: Thankfully, he's creating a story.
28:15
Daniel Moore: You're writing your own story.
28:17
Daniel Moore: Sometimes we forget we have a very real spiritual enemy.
28:21
Daniel Moore: Satan despises marriage because he knows the power of a unified couple committed to Christ.
28:27
Daniel Moore: He will do anything he can to divide, distract, and discourage you.
28:32
Daniel Moore: But don't lose heart.
28:33
Daniel Moore: With God's help, your marriage can withstand the fiercest attacks.
28:38
Daniel Moore: The more you lean into him, the stronger your relationship becomes.
28:42
Daniel Moore: Evil may try to tear you apart, but the grace of God always gives you strength to stand firm.
28:48
Daniel Moore: Hope in Christ is never misplaced.
28:51
Daniel Moore: In C.S.
28:53
Daniel Moore: Lewis's classic The Lion, the Witch in the Wardrobe, the villain, the White Witch, uses her magic to freeze her enemies, turning them into cold, lifeless statues.
29:03
Daniel Moore: In many ways, this mirrors the enemy strategy in our marriages.
29:08
Daniel Moore: Satan despises the beauty and unity found in God designed marriage.
29:12
Daniel Moore: He doesn't necessarily use dramatic attacks to tear couples apart.
29:16
Daniel Moore: Instead, he operates subtly, using small distractions, unresolved issues and daily stressors, what scripture calls the little foxes to slowly erode intimacy and connection.
29:28
Daniel Moore: The truth is most marriages don't collapse overnight from catastrophic failures like betrayal or abuse.
29:35
Daniel Moore: Instead, many drift into disconnection over time.
29:40
Daniel Moore: It's the slow fade, when emotional distance quietly replaces closeness, when busyness overshadows intentional time, and when passion gives way to routine.
29:50
Daniel Moore: But growing apart doesn't have to be the story.
30:01
Daniel Moore: That's not God's plan for your marriage.
30:04
Daniel Moore: God wants more for us.
30:06
Daniel Moore: He designed marriage to lead us towards deep intimacy, joy, laughter, vulnerability, and spiritual connection.
30:13
Daniel Moore: He even envisioned marriage as a reflection of himself, a shining example of his character.
30:19
Daniel Moore: Our relationship should represent his love, patience, grace, and forgiveness to a world desperate for hope.
30:25
Daniel Moore: The first marriage between Adam and Eve came with a blessing, be fruitful and multiply.
30:31
Daniel Moore: But this fruitfulness means more than just having children.
30:35
Daniel Moore: It also speaks to the spiritual and emotional impact of a vibrant union, blessing one another, influencing your children, and serving as a beacon of light to others.
30:46
Daniel Moore: I think sometimes we forget, and we brought this up several times in our episodes to make sure our listeners don't forget, but we forget that our marriage is a reflection of marriage in heaven.
31:00
Daniel Moore: When we have the marriage supper with the bride with Christ, and that whole ceremony takes place in heaven, it's going to be a hugely glorified example of what you and I have walked here on earth, hopefully, because that is what God expects out of us in our marriages is to reflect Christ.
31:22
Daniel Moore: When we talk to other couples, when we try to pour into them, try to help mentor them to through things, try to give them hope, give them positive things, you know, from our stories.
31:33
Daniel Moore: Uh that's us sharing Christ with them.
31:35
Daniel Moore: That's being Christ, being the servant to help others.
31:39
Daniel Moore: And it's easy for us to get wrapped up in our problems.
31:43
Daniel Moore: It's easy for us to get wrapped up in our own issues and get stuck in that little routine inside the box and not do what God's called us to do.
31:52
Daniel Moore: But I think I think you can vouch for this when we decided to start using our testimony for Christ.
31:58
Daniel Moore: Not only have we seen it help in other couples' scenarios, but how much has it helped us to grow?
32:04
Michelle Moore: Oh, a lot.
32:06
Michelle Moore: In fact, I I would have to say it has helped us grow immensely.
32:12
Michelle Moore: I mean, you would think that, hey, we're healed and everything else, but since we've been doing it, it's came easier.
32:19
Michelle Moore: And not only that, it's grown us so much closer.
32:23
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
32:24
Michelle Moore: The healing process has I mean, it just it blows my mind.
32:27
Michelle Moore: You would never think that, but honestly, it has been amazing.
32:32
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
32:32
Daniel Moore: I don't think you can ever outgrow the relationships portion between a spouse uh ever reach the height.
32:41
Daniel Moore: Right.
32:42
Daniel Moore: I think the more you pour into your marriage, the more that you enjoy each other every day.
32:47
Daniel Moore: I think you just keep climbing to new heights and it's unlimited, really.
32:50
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
32:51
Daniel Moore: Which is similar to our relationship with Christ.
32:53
Daniel Moore: That's good.
32:53
Daniel Moore: You know, we'll never reach the fullness of Christ and who he is here on this earth.
32:58
Daniel Moore: It's going to continue to grow and grow as long as we allow it to inside of our hearts until the day that we end up in heaven with him.
33:05
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
33:05
Daniel Moore: And so we should always look at our marriages that same way.
33:08
Daniel Moore: We should always look at it in a positive manner that we want to reach the highest heights that we could ever imagine in our marriages.
33:15
Daniel Moore: And just like you mentioned, we thought we were in a really good place when we started this podcast together, this journey together a couple years ago, because we'd already, you know, worked through a lot of things and we were a happy couple in a good spot.
33:28
Daniel Moore: But truly, we've had a lot of healing even just in all the episodes that we've given, uh, even more so uh than what we've already previously done with some of the damage we did in our marriage.
33:38
Daniel Moore: So so never give up on the fact that okay, this is it.
33:42
Daniel Moore: This is I'm I've reached my height, it's done, there's no more moving forwards.
33:46
Daniel Moore: You start looking for something elsewhere.
33:47
Daniel Moore: That's not the case.
33:48
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
33:49
Daniel Moore: Uh you need to make sure that that marriage continues to build as you go.
33:53
Daniel Moore: Yes.
33:54
Daniel Moore: Because, you know, your marriage isn't just about your happiness, it's part of a much greater plan.
33:59
Daniel Moore: When people see the health, warmth, and love in your relationship, they should be inspired.
34:05
Daniel Moore: You should be that example.
34:06
Daniel Moore: Children should hope for a marriage like yours, not fear it.
34:10
Daniel Moore: A marriage that resembles a business partnership or quiet cohabitation can't reflect God's vibrant vision.
34:16
Daniel Moore: Satan wants you content in a tired, disconnected marriage, one where intimacy is replaced with routine and the hearts grow cold.
34:25
Daniel Moore: But we aren't powerless.
34:27
Daniel Moore: Just like Lewis's story, where Aslan breathes life back into the stone statues, Jesus can breathe life back into a numb or distant marriage.
34:37
Daniel Moore: The cold spell can be reversed.
34:40
Daniel Moore: If you and your spouse are living more like roommates than soulmates, it's time to reclaim what was once strong and passionate.
34:47
Daniel Moore: But it's not going to happen overnight.
34:49
Daniel Moore: This transformation will take steady choices, small intentional actions, and a commitment to long-term change.
34:56
Daniel Moore: You know, think of it like turning around a large ship.
35:00
Daniel Moore: It takes time, space, and a clear decision to shift course.
35:04
Daniel Moore: You might experience some quick wins, but true relational transformation requires faithfulness and effort over time.
35:11
Daniel Moore: As you consistently choose to engage in loving, thoughtful, and meaningful behaviors, your connection will start to rekindle.
35:19
Daniel Moore: I think one thing that we see quite often is whenever we talk to couples that are struggling and they have a really good moment where they make a breakthrough, but then two weeks later, something happens and it creates major issues in the relationship, they get very discouraged.
36:26
Daniel Moore: And I think, you know, with Michelle and I, we can definitely tell you that we didn't fix stuff overnight.
36:33
Daniel Moore: Um, this stuff has been going on for a long time.
36:37
Daniel Moore: And even now, I think, you know, we could probably say, won't you wouldn't you say as well, that even if we have situations now that take place, uh sometimes it it might be an instant fix because we just work right through it right then and there, but there are sometimes it might take a day or two to make sure that things are resolved and it's back to where it really needs to be because it depends on the depth of the situation and what's going on that really determines how fast that's gonna happen.
37:05
Daniel Moore: Right.
37:06
Daniel Moore: But don't give up.
37:08
Michelle Moore: Right.
37:08
Michelle Moore: Yeah.
37:08
Michelle Moore: Don't.
37:09
Daniel Moore: I mean, yeah.
37:10
Daniel Moore: If Michelle and I would have given up because we had hiccups in the road, we'd have never made it to where we're at right now.
37:16
Daniel Moore: But you've got to persevere and you've got to stick with it.
37:20
Daniel Moore: So is there anything that you wanted to add to any of this as far as our whole series we've done or uh this episode for today?
37:29
Michelle Moore: No.
37:30
Daniel Moore: I think we got it all covered.
37:31
Michelle Moore: I think so.
37:32
Daniel Moore: Okay.
37:32
Michelle Moore: It's so good.
37:33
Daniel Moore: It was.
37:34
Daniel Moore: I really enjoyed this.
37:35
Daniel Moore: I'm so glad that we went through this.
37:37
Daniel Moore: The next series we're doing is going to be more of a happy upbeat series.
37:41
Daniel Moore: I know we've done a couple of series here so far that has dealt a lot with damaged marriages or marriages on the rocks or that kind of thing.
37:51
Daniel Moore: But the reason Michelle and I went through these right off the get-go is because as marriage mentors, we are realizing how much Satan's really attacking marriages, even within the church.
38:03
Daniel Moore: It's unbelievable how many people come to church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights and sit next to you that are struggling to even stay alive in their marriage.
38:12
Daniel Moore: And some of them are ready to snip the cord and call it quits.
38:17
Daniel Moore: And of course, that's what Satan wants us to do.
38:20
Daniel Moore: He does not want the church to thrive.
38:22
Daniel Moore: Yeah.
38:23
Daniel Moore: So therefore, he attacks the families, which makes up the church.
38:26
Daniel Moore: And as Michelle and I have seen this, we just because our testimony does come from a very rocky place.
38:34
Daniel Moore: A lot of these things we've talked about over the last few months in this series, Michelle and I have walked all of that.
38:40
Daniel Moore: We've lived it, we've persevered, we've made it through the bad times to get where we're at now.
38:46
Daniel Moore: And because we've done that, we know you can too.
38:48
Michelle Moore: That's right.
38:49
Daniel Moore: We pray over all of your marriages all the time.
38:52
Daniel Moore: For the people that listen to this podcast and the people that we know personally that are going through things, uh, we always want to be in prayer over all of you.
39:01
Daniel Moore: So you don't have to wait until a crisis occurs to recognize the drift.
39:06
Daniel Moore: Even if you're just feeling the distance grow, you can change direction today.
39:11
Daniel Moore: And the good news is you can rediscover your soulmate.
39:15
Daniel Moore: You can reignite the passion, the laughter, and closeness that once came naturally.
39:20
Daniel Moore: And through it all, God stands ready to breathe new life into your marriage, guiding you from disconnection towards vibrant unity once again.
39:30
Daniel Moore: So the takeaway from this episode and to finish up this series, roommates have no long-term plans, soulmates pursue shared dreams together.
39:41
Daniel Moore: Roommates are a temporary arrangement.
39:43
Daniel Moore: Soulmates persevere through the hard times and recognize the power of their love story.
39:50
Daniel Moore: What a better way to finish this series on marriage reset.
39:54
Daniel Moore: We're going to call it good for this week.
39:56
Daniel Moore: As I said, next week, over the next three weeks here, we are planning on having some special episodes coming your way that we're going to do with another couple.
40:05
Daniel Moore: We're super excited to do this and bring those to you.
40:08
Daniel Moore: We feel like that you're going to really enjoy those.
40:11
Daniel Moore: Uh, this couple also leads a marriage ministry in their church.
40:15
Daniel Moore: And so we're looking forward to that.
40:17
Daniel Moore: And then if things still go as planned, we'll probably be starting another series after that.
40:22
Daniel Moore: Uh, we'll attack that when the time comes.
40:24
Daniel Moore: In the meantime, you can visit our website at marriagelife.com to learn anything about our ministry to reach out to us, connect with us.
40:31
Daniel Moore: We'd love to hear your testimonies, uh, things that God's doing in your marriages, and how things are turning around for you.
40:38
Daniel Moore: If you're having issues and problems, uh we'd always love to hear those kinds of things from you.
40:43
Daniel Moore: You can email us at Daniel at connectingthegap.net.
40:45
Daniel Moore: There's a form on the website you can fill out and send in as well.
40:48
Daniel Moore: And don't forget we do have books available.
40:50
Daniel Moore: Um, marriage is a mission, and then there's a 42-day devotional for couples.
40:54
Daniel Moore: You can pick those up on the website.
40:56
Daniel Moore: Anywhere that you can get books online, you can also go there and purchase those as well.
41:01
Daniel Moore: And we pray that those will bless you if you purchase one of those books, and it also helps this ministry to continue to grow.
41:07
Daniel Moore: Well, that's all for this week, and we just pray that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
41:14
Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.