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Know Your Value · Girl in the Game

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Are you building a career, growing a business, or searching for your next big opportunity?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Then this podcast is for you.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the Girl in the Game herself, your host, Gail Dickey.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, I'm Gail Dickey and welcome back to Girl in the Game.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Today I want to talk about something that sounds incredibly simple.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Know your value.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: We hear it all the time.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Know your worth.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Believe in yourself.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Own the room.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's great, but I'm talking about something different because knowing your value isn't walking into a room believing you're fabulous.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't your confidence, it isn't your title, and it definitely isn't your ego.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Your value is knowing what changes because you are there.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's a very different question.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: And before you really can read the room, you need to make the ask.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: Before you can recognize where you fit into the game, you need to understand what you're actually bringing to it.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not sure we spent enough time figuring that out.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: I spent most of my career in media and television and technology, and specifically gaming and entertainment.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: I've walked into a lot of rooms: network presidents, station managers, advertisers and producers, big tech executives, investors, and people with very big titles and very impressive business cards.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I learned something very early, pretty early, I'd say.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: The biggest title in that room isn't always the most valuable person in that room.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's the person who understands the audience, who knows why the deal isn't working, who can connect two people nobody else thought to connect.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe someone who asked the questions that everybody else missed.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's simply the person who can actually get something done.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's value.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: When I was younger, I didn't necessarily think about my career that way.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was just trying to move forward, you know, get the next opportunity, make the sale, get into the room.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I was frequently one of the only women in it.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: There wasn't some great master plan telling me, hey, Gail, here's what makes you different.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: You figured that out by playing.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: And over time I began noticing something.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: There were certain things people repeatedly came to me for.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: I could sell an idea.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I could understand why an audience might respond to something before there was necessarily data proving it.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: I could connect the creative side of something with the business side.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, what I used to think was I could sell cardboard.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I've always been able to look at something and think, wait, what if we did it this way?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: That became a huge part of my value.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: But here's what's interesting.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: When something comes naturally to you, you don't always recognize that it's valuable because you assume everybody can do it, but they can't.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: So here's one of the best questions I can give you.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: What do people repeatedly come to you for?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Think about it.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: When something goes wrong, what do they call you about?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: What do people ask your opinion about?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: What do they trust you with?
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: What do they say?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: Call her, she'll know.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Call him, ask him.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: He's really good at that.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Pay attention to whatever comes after that sentence because there's a very good chance you've just found part of your value.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're the person who can calm everybody down when things are falling apart.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're great at numbers, understanding people.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you see trends.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you can sell.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you can build.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you can write.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you're the person who can take 50 pieces of information and somehow see the three that actually matter.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe people just trust you.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Don't dismiss something just because it's easy for you.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: Easy for you doesn't mean easy.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's important.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And especially if you're younger and listening to this, don't assume that because somebody has 25 more years of experience than you, they automatically have more value in every conversation.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: They don't.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: They have different value.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: They may understand a platform they don't understand, a community, a technology, a behavior, even a cultural shift.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: You may be seeing something in real time that they haven't even noticed yet.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Bring that.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the other side.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Don't assume being younger automatically makes you right either, because somebody who's been playing the game for 30 years has seen things you haven't seen yet.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I love putting different generations together.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I don't want?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: A room full of people who know exactly what I know.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: What would be the point of that?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: I want somebody who makes me stop and say, wait, explain that to me.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Now we're getting somewhere.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Your value doesn't have to look like everybody else's value.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, it probably shouldn't.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: But there's another side to knowing your value that we don't talk about nearly enough.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: You need to know what you don't bring.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not good at everything.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody is.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I've learned that one of the smartest things you can do is find people who are great at the things you're not great at.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: I love finding those people.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: Why would I spend three hours struggling through something somebody else can do brilliantly in 10 minutes?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's not weakness.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's building the right team.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: One of the biggest mistakes people make as they become successful is thinking success means they're supposed to have all the answers.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_01: Success should make you better at recognizing who has the answer.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Your value actually gets stronger when you start trying to prove you can do everything.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: There's another distinction that I'd like you to remember.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Value and importance are not the same thing.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: We've all met the person who needs everybody in the room to know how important they are.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: They tell you their title and their company and their last deal and the people that they know, the places they just came from.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but value usually doesn't require that much announcing.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Eventually you see it.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: They solve something, they know something, they connect something, they create something, they make something better, they move the game forward.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's the person, and those are the people that you want back.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that is the reputation you want.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: Not she's important, but we need her in this.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: There's a huge difference.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes the hardest part comes with when somebody else doesn't recognize your value: a boss, a company, a client, a partner.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Someone will underestimate you.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's happened to me many times.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: It will happen to you.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And your first reaction may be, they don't appreciate what I bring.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, maybe they don't.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: But before you decide that, ask yourself something harder.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Have I actually figured out what I bring?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Can I explain it?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Can I demonstrate it?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Can people see it?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just met this girl recently.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: I hope she listens to this.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: And she was working retail and clearly she was just marking time.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I asked her about her value.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, you know, I'm just tired of giving my ideas and not getting paid for it and just being that person in the room where they take my ideas and they run with it.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: So figure out what you do bring.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: Have people see it because sometimes we expect people to recognize something we haven't even learned how to articulate ourselves.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And other times, you know exactly what you bring.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: You demonstrated it, you communicated it, and they still don't see it.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's information too.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not every game is your game, and not every room deserves what you bring to it.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean you're better than the room.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: It means value needs the right environment.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I've watched people look completely ordinary in one situation and extraordinary in another.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Same person, same talent, different game.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: So here's what I want you to do: take away your title, take away the company name, take away the resume, the degree, take away the people you know.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now ask yourself, what happens because I'm there?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: What gets better?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: What gets solved?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: What gets created?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: What do I see that other people miss?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: What do people trust me to do?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: What can I do that that's difficult to replace?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe most importantly, what am I getting better at right now that will make me even more valuable five years from now?
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because value isn't static.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: You build it, the game changes, industries change, technologies change, companies disappear, titles disappear, and your real value has to be portable.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: You take it with you.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: And once you really understand that, something interesting happens.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be the loudest person in the room, you don't need to interrupt, you don't need to prove you're important.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Let the room breathe.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need everybody to approve of you because you know what you're bringing, and that changes the way you play.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: What brings us to the next part of the game is knowing your value is only half of it.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: You also have to understand the people on the other side of the table.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: What matters to them?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: What are they not seeing?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Who actually has the power?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: What's really happening underneath the conversation?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: You have to learn to read the room.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that's where we're going next.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Gail Dickey, and this is Girl in the Game.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Know your value, not your ego, not your title, not what you hope people think about you.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Know what you genuinely bring to the game.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Build it, keep learning, keep making it harder to replace.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because before you can understand the room and before you can make the ask, you better know why you're in the game in the first place.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody came to mind while you're listening to this, someone who doesn't realize how much they actually bring, send them this episode.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: And if Girl in the Game is giving you something you can use in your own game, subscribe and like and bring somebody else into it.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because when you see the game differently, you play the game differently.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, see you next time.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: So that's it for today's episode of Girl in the Game.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Head on over to Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and subscribe to the show.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: One lucky listener every single week that posts a review on Apple Podcasts or iTunes will be entered in the grand prize drawing to win a chance for a private VIP day with Gail Dickie herself.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure to head on over to girlinthame.com to pick up a free copy of Gail's gift.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Submit your questions or ask Gail.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Then join us on the next episode.