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Self-Full, Not Selfish: How to Prioritize Self-Care · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, and welcome back to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're gonna dive into something that I love to talk about.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: Then if you've been following my podcast, you've probably heard me talk about before, but it is the power of self-care and how it is a selfful practice and not a selfish practice.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanna talk about some myths that come up around the idea of self-care or self-love and explore with you what it actually means to take care of yourself and why it's important.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start with a powerful statement, which is taking care of yourself allows you to take care of others.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: It does kind of sound cliche, I know.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, you've heard it many times, but there is so much wisdom in that.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I think a lot of us have heard the whole, the whole metaphor of put your oxygen mask on first before you put someone else's on.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we all kind of roll our eyes at this point because we've heard it so many times.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: But there is so much truth in why it is important to take care of yourself so that you can show up and take care of others.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: We do live in a world we are constantly told to put others first.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there is the adage of, you know, do on to others.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's important to make sure that you take care of others and you are there for others and you support others.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in that wholeheartedly.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I would not do what I do if I did not believe in caring for others, loving others, and being there for others.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, I often say that one of my um my strengths is my empathy.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And also I freely admit that if I lean too far into it, I can overfunction and overgive, and it starts to become a weakness.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: So there is a beauty in service and compassion and empathy.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: However, along the way, we also have to give ourselves permission to practice self-care and self-love because with that, when we fill that cup up, we're able to then share with others.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot share what's in your cup if it's completely empty.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's misunderstood that self-care is selfish or self-centered, or you're narcissistic if you are practicing self-care.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: We can talk about narcissism on a totally different episode.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: I have plenty to say about that.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if you've been told that self-care is selfish, then please just pay attention because we I really want to break down some of these myths.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: One of the very first myths that I hear oftentimes is that self-care is a luxury, that people just believe that it's an extra.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's something to do if you have extra time or if you have extra money.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because a lot of times people equate self-care with going to the spa.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the reality is self-care is essential for your mental, emotional, and physical health.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just like eating healthy or getting enough sleep is self-care, right?
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's considered self-care.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, other things that are considered self-care is taking five minutes out of your day to just be.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's an act of self-care.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not even talking about I've got to go to the spa or I have to um, you know, it's only if I can get a massage.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's as simple as making yourself a cup of tea and sitting down and drinking it quietly, or you know, you're on your busy day and pulling over and listening to music for five minutes.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: When you neglect even those small things, you are going to drive yourself to run unempty.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you can only go so far before you just completely break down.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Another myth is that people with extra time can do self-care.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I am running all the time, and you know, I get it.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: We are busy.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: You are professionals, you are entrepreneurs, you're parents, you're high achievers, you are doers, you're out there consistently doing things.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And there is this idea that self-care requires hours of free time, which I just was referring to, is it doesn't have to be hours of free time.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need a block of an hour or two hours to practice self-care.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: You can fit it into your daily routine.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can add five minutes of quiet as you are instead of scrolling on your phone, you spend five minutes to just be.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or instead of um going to gossip or, you know, not gossip, but talk to people in in the hallway if you're at work, let's say you're back at work.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, maybe you take that five minutes to walk around the building and to just collect your thoughts, um, or just to just breathe.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you just step outside for a walk.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's an act of self-care.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: The big one that gets me is when people tell me that that's it's self-care means being selfish.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: It means that you are caring for yourself and you are you are not being kind and compassionate to others.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: These two things can be, they can live at the same time.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: You taking care of yourself does not mean that you don't then care about others.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a this or that black or white or you know, all or nothing.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: It is a big hurdle for many because a lot of people really do, they've internalized the narrative that self-care is selfish and that when you take care of yourself, somehow you're neglecting others.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: But again, the reality is that if you take care of yourself and you are filling your cup up, you will be able to show up for others.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I know as a parent, if I am running on empty, I don't really show up in a very um conscientious way with my kids.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: But if I take time, you know, in the morning, for instance, to take that time.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I spend between 30 minutes to 60 minutes in the morning doing my own self-care routine.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I show up completely different on those mornings than if I don't have that.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Another myth that pops up a lot is that self-care is just hampering yourself.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's, you know, and this nice to have.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of this comes with the narratives around that's again spas or bubble baths or face masks.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, those things can absolutely be part of your self-care, but true self-care is about staying strong and energized and nourishing yourself, your mind, your body, your spirit so that you can handle all of the challenges and all of the curveballs that life throws at you with resilience.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So self-care can be exercise, self-care can be eating healthy, self-care can be having a bedtime routine and getting to sleep, self-care can be journaling, self-care can be setting boundaries and learning to say no.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And self-care can also include seeking coaching and seeking that support so that you can have somebody to work through what things might be holding you back.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, the the final myth that I wanted to touch on was that self-care is weak or shows signs of weakness.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we've got to just brave, brave our way through and muscle through all the things.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's not true at all.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: The truth is it takes strength and self-awareness to look after yourself.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: It takes strength and self-awareness and courage and bravery to say, I need something right now.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: I need something right now, and I'm gonna honor that need so that I'm not taking on this idea that I've got to continue to push through exhaustion and success, exhaustion and stress in order to get to success.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: So a self-care is not a weakness.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: It is an act of courage, it is an act of bravery, and it is an act of wisdom, and it allows you to practice resiliency.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: So now that we've talked about these myths, what about why self-care is in fact an incredibly selfless act?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: How is it selfful and selfless?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first of all, if you help yourself, you have the ability to help others.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about that.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: I've said it a couple different ways.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, if you are rested, you are calm, you are energized, you are grounded, you are showing up fully for yourself, you can then support those who need you.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: As a parent, I know this absolutely, you know, hands down, that again, when I am fully rested, I show up completely different as a parent.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: When I am completely exhausted, I am not giving what my kids actually need for me.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Self-care also helps prevent burnout because if you constantly are pushing yourself, it is extraordinarily destructive.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And by practicing self-care, you're protecting yourself from that burnout.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: It shows your family, it shows your friends, it shows your team how to stay healthy.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So when you prioritize self-care, you're actually modeling that healthy behavior for others.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it allows them to see and learn from you as a leader.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it improves your relationships with others.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Again, if you're taking care of yourself, you will find that you are more optimistic, you're more patient, you're more empathetic, you are more connected.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And when you are more connected, you're going to have more loving, effective relationships.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it helps you make better decisions because if you are completely exhausted, it is very difficult to make decisions.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, just think about that.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: How easy is it to make really important decisions when you're stressed out and overwhelmed?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: But if you give yourself time to be centered and grounded and well rested, you can think more clearly.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you are struggling with something like self-care and struggling with how do I implement this, or even the mindset around it that you're you're stuck in the rabbit hole of this is selfish, and want to understand how coaching can help you work through it and also how to implement it, feel free to reach out to me at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Username It's Authentic Me.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.