Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.27 | 10 of the Biggest Roadblocks that Hold Online Business Owners Back + What You Can Do to Avoid Them

Transcript

Ep.27 | 10 of the Biggest Roadblocks that Hold Online Business Owners Back + What You Can Do to Avoid Them · Curiously Guided Podcast

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, hey, hey, hey, welcome back to the Curiously Guided Podcast, the place for intuitive business owners.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: We're your hosts, Shay and Mariah.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: And today we've got um something special for you.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Mariah and I are playing around with um some different formats for the episodes that we do together.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: And we thought it would be um really cool to put together, you know, just some um lessons learned, some advice we have, some pros and cons, all around, you know, entering the online business space.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: And this, you know, the way that I thought about this episode when Mariah first pitched it to me was like what advice I would go back and tell myself in my first few years of business.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, another, as we've been kind of planning out this episode, another metaphor that um it's bringing up for me is something that we talked about in Monique's episode of this idea of like life and business and growth can often look like a video game, right?
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Where there's like um level one and you build up your skill set and you beat the boss, but then immediately you're thrown into level two, where it's like the same issue but harder.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're gonna kind of dive into some major roadblocks today that held us back and the lessons that we've learned through them and that we wish we would have learned earlier.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I want to start off by offering a caveat of the things that we talk about today are still things that we are struggling with, are still things that we are working through.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I hope that this doesn't ever sound like we've got this all figured out because a lot of the stuff I'm reflect I'm like thinking about is I was on level one back then.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe now I feel like I'm on level three and it looks different, but it's still here, right?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So um just kind of keep that in mind that uh there's this is all a journey, right?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: There is no ending really.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so a lot of these roadblocks, you'll see different faces of them.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: And and I hope that you can kind of avoid some of the pitfalls that we had and maybe kind of expedite your process a little bit.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, give yourself a lot of grace.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, with that, I'm kind of excited to dive into this.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's making me feel a little nostalgic or something.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just want to know, I like how you started the episode with hey, hey, hey, because in my head it was like, hey, hey, hey, it's fat Albert.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And just like it made me laugh in my head.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I just love that so much.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: I remember watching that movie at like a sleepover when I was like 10.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, I'm I'm super excited about this episode.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, it's not even like just for new people in business.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been in business for a while, like us sharing our perspective on these roadblocks, how we've navigated them, some tips, how we got through them.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's honestly basically to just help everybody feel in this online business space like you're not alone.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because like I remember starting in business, feeling like, oh my God, nobody else is dealing with this.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I see people on Facebook and Instagram and doing all these things, and like I'm the only one dealing with this roadblock, and like nobody else has ever dealt with this before.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And like sometimes, especially when you work for yourself, and like for me specifically, like I live alone and like I work for myself.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really have a team.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like sometimes we can get really stuck in our own bubble, we can get really stuck in these roadblocks, we can feel really alone moving through these things.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think just having a really fun conversation, like Shay said, we kind of we were planning this.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is like the most structure we have ever created for a podcast episode.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we're like super excited to test this out.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And if you guys have seen any of my content, like either on YouTube or on blog posts, I'm a huge fucking list person, like 10 ways to do this, seven ways to do this.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: A, because they're like really shareable just in terms of like content-wise.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I just feel like they're really fun for me to create.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, like we went through and created a list of 10 roadblocks that we have come up against in business.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: And our our intention is kind of to just talk about them, maybe share how we navigated through them all and kind of just work through them like that.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, should we dive into the first one?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like 10 sounds like a lot, but like I promise this episode isn't going to be four hours.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, stick with us.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, I feel like the the first roadblock that we wanted to chat about has to do with boundaries.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And like in an episode coming later in this season, we talk about boundaries with a podcast guest, Lara, about how strong our boundaries have to be in business.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: And like that was a huge roadblock for me of like not knowing like what is a boundary that needs to be put in place to like protect my energy, like what's a healthy boundary?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And like, what's a boundary that like is maybe coming from a triggered place or like a reactionary place?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like that's something that I had to really navigate.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think like as you get into business, you're kind of used to your boundaries being like set on you.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, whether that's, you know, I mentioned this in another episode of my my family and my husband's family, there were not a lot of healthy boundaries modeled at all.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So the idea of having to set my own boundaries was really foreign to me.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: But when you open up your own business, there's nobody there to do it for you.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: And you have to do it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't, you're not gonna be, it's not gonna work for a million different reasons.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, I think that that was a very hard for me as a people pleaser, you know.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, coming in, I had to learn like from scratch from phase zero, like how to set boundaries.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: What is a boundary?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: What is a boundary?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: What do I want my boundaries to be?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think a lot of us, you know, like usually work puts in boundaries, our life circumstance, our family.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like we have all these boundaries put on us, but we don't spend a ton of time thinking about like, no, what boundaries do I need to hold in my life to protect my energy, myself, you know, and connect and that kind of idea.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: So this was uh, I mean, I was just in shambles and like level negative 99 on this topic.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, creatives, I were often like this, you know, where you get the million, you hear the stories of like a million revision rounds and clients that are never happy, and we just give and give and give.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think especially if you're in any kind of creative field or in any kind of field where you're there's almost this assumption that like you're doing this because it's it's fun or it's like you like to be creative, you're doing work that you find fun.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, why do I pay you for it?
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's kind of hard.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I it was hard for me in a couple of ways to really get a sense of the value that I bring in um my business and not being taken advantage of being able to communicate confidently on sales calls.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, that's why I love sales calls so much, is because it sets the tone for the rest of the relationship you have with a client.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if you show up um as an order taker, as someone with really weak boundaries, that's how the project's gonna go, right?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I had to learn about how to really like a what I want my boundaries to be, how I want to protect myself, what kind of rules and non-negotiables I want to have in my business, and then how to hold those boundaries in live situations, you know, because it can you can set all the rules in the world, but if you don't hold it when you're pressed on it, um that's that's you know, it's pointless, right?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the muscle is like when you're live on a call, someone's pressing you on something, can you stick to your guns?
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not perfect about this at all, you know, and there's new things that surprise me all the time, and you know, regrets.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: And but I would say that like just learning about boundaries, the earlier on you can do it, and it can be with a therapist, it can be with a coach, it can be, um, we'll link a really cool book I have about boundaries in the show notes, but I I think it will empower you in your life and in your business in more ways than you would ever expect.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and what I think what's what's really helped me, especially because I got into the industry doing website design and website development.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I always either felt bad or felt really confused in terms of poundry, poundaries, in terms of boundaries and um like client scope, because a lot of people didn't understand a website.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like it's not like the client was intentionally trying to push a boundary, they just like didn't understand how to create a website, what goes into it, like what the fuck I'm actually doing, because like that's why they were hiring me, right?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like they didn't understand.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like what really helped me is instead of being like, ugh, this client is taking advantage of me, it's like this is an invitation for me to educate my client.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, like honestly, on sales calls, a lot of the time, even for SEO, I am educating my clients on what SEO is and why my package is the way that it is.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I explain to them that like that SEO is broken up into two phases, and this package that they are paying for is only covering phase one.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we ain't doing everything under the sun.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna be able to show up on page one to fight Tony Robbins for like position one after this foundational setup.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: But like it takes a lot of education, especially if you are offering services or some kind of offering that like your clients don't understand or haven't tried to dabble in it themselves.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like that's kind of my tip here is like, where can you switch the perspective into educating people and not even just clients, but also like in your family?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like when I first started my business, I was living at my parents' house.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so my office was in my bedroom and I had my lovely darling nieces that live next door, and I think they were like seven and nine at the time, and like they would come in my room just to like hang out and talk with me.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I just set a boundary and educate them and be like, listen, I know that like it looks like I'm at home, but like that doesn't mean that I'm available.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And like when my door is closed, that means that you do not come in and like I will come out and get you.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like setting boundaries with family was like really difficult, but it's like switching the perspective.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, how can I like kindly educate on my perspective?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: I've just found that to be really helpful.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and that's like an example of really strong boundaries.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna paint the other picture.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: So the opposite side, um I think boundary issues can show a lot up and a lot in terms of like what you're selling.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so for me, I didn't even have like I didn't have clear packages because I wasn't aware of how I like to work.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so for someone like me, I'm a I'm a smart person, I can learn how to do things.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so if a client was asking me to do something, I would just, oh, sure, and we can do that.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, yeah, I can do that for sure.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think there's a little bit of that that's healthy when you're getting started because you just kind of have to learn what you like and what you don't like.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's that's how you set boundaries is learning what your yeses and no's are, right?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, I do think there's a room for that at the beginning, but honestly, to this day, it is still an issue I struggle with of no, this is exactly what I offer, and then this is exactly what I don't offer.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: And when you can be really clear on that, you're right, Mariah.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can switch it to a point of education because we're in this world all day long.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: The clients don't know this stuff, you know, and so and they appreciate it, right?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I didn't even have the wherewithal to be clear on like what I was even offering, and it's so easy, and we'll get into the unlimited possibilities.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's so easy to be like, oh yeah, and I could offer this and and I could offer that.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's a bit of like shiny objectness and novelty that my brain likes and the new.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is something I really struggle with in terms of like what I offer as a business.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: I like a little bit of fluidity, but if you do not, I it's not great to stay there, like especially if you're new, like try some things out, but get as clear as you can about who you're for.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's not only the what you offer, it's the who.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: The other side of this is like I didn't know how to listen for red flags at the beginning.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now I have a really clear idea when clients are on calls pushing boundaries.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I know exactly what kind of client you're gonna be, and we're not a great fit for each other.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: But that just took time.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: So part of this is like letting yourself get burned in a couple of ways, so you can learn like what's right and what's not right for you.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I do think that like the sooner you can start practicing boundary work in any kind of in life with family or in business, just little baby steps, even you know, um, try your best to define some packages, try your best to define the who and what your red flags are, and and then try to show up and stand in them.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that's like where you can really grow.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: And the opposite side of this is now I feel like I'm a pretty boss at boundaries.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I feel really empowered.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Honestly, these days, whenever I set a boundary, I feel like this high of like I am so empowered.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm proud of myself for knowing what I want and sticking to it.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: And like that feeling and that strength is priceless.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I love the confidence that setting boundaries has given me.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm glad that you brought up that piece because it's like the educating clients, you're right, that did come later.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I completed, I started this so long ago that I forgot about how it was in the beginning, where I remember copying other people's packages and being like, and then it includes two signup forms for your email newsletter list.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And my clients were like, What's an email newsletter list?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like they didn't even like my clients were local at that point.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're like collecting emails, what am I gonna send to them?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, yeah, I'm I'm glad that you brought that part up too.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um well, that I think is a great way to start off the list.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: I usually say, like, if you're having a problem in life, there's two answers.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's either you need to set boundaries or you need to go stare at a tree, right?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you can calm down and then set better boundaries.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: But really, like that's usually the answer to bull any problem.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like set a boundary, go outside of nature, calm down, kind of like I I like I like the specific wording of stare at a tree.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna go with either you lit like literally go and stare at a tree or set a boundary.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like where are your boundaries weak?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like it's that's always the answer.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's just surprising.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, so let's dive into number two.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh the second roadblock that Mari and I both um noticed as we were getting started in business was how um how weird it can feel to have two lives.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, honestly, I grew up in the Midwest.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not surrounded by a bunch of entrepreneurs.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: My family aren't entrepreneurs.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um I had a friend who Sam will be on this season.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: She was the only entrepreneur I ever I ever knew of.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not a culture that um I'm surrounded with.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I have found like it's difficult for me sometimes in my personal life to connect with with people because they just are like sometimes making me feel like an alien.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're just like, what do you do?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: And why?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and like what, you know, it just seems so like I have three heads in that um disconnect of my personal life and my work life and not being able to relate that way has been like a weird just thing I've had to like come to terms with.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like for me, it's like I've had so many friends like bitch about their job and bitch about their boss and bitch about whatever.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like I had this guilt of literally like not having anything to bitch about.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I fucking love my job.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've gotten to a point where my clients are fucking amazing.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like I choose my own schedule.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I go for a walk when I want to, like, I have time to make lunch.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: I wake up slowly and have my coffee in the morning, like my routine is whatever I make it.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like it's it's hard for me to connect when somebody or like when my friends are in that space of like needing a space to vent, because I I feel like my my my one friend group is like very aware of like not trying to connect through like chaotic negativity and things, which like I am very fucking grateful for.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it took us a very long time to get there.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like they're they're pretty aware of it, but like we all just we're humans, we need a space to vent.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like sometimes I just have to remember to hold space and like this is their perspective and what they're dealing with.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: But like another thing that's related to this is like Shay said, like when I first started my business, but even still now, seven years later, like I feel like I'm living a double life with my in-person friends, like even my Instagram.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: I have a business Instagram and then, you know, an Instagram for the podcast, but I also have a personal Instagram.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really share about my business on my personal Instagram because like those people don't really get it.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe a handful of them do, but like I still get people that I like went to high school with and like grew up with.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'll get them like DMing me asking, hey, do you create logos?
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, not even fucking close.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Don't come near me.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Don't come near me with a graphic design project.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, I actually don't do that.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And they were like, so what do you do?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: And like they're not trying to be like rude or anything, but like they just don't get it.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: They've never, I say this all the time, they've never walked through the portal of the online business world.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very hard for them to really grasp all of the different possibilities and things.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's like with my friends and and even in my relationship with Andrew, like in the beginning, he was, I was like, it's really important to me that you ask me questions.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to feel like you are curious and you are interested in what I'm doing.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, I don't understand what you do.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's hard for me to ask questions because I don't know what to ask.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't even, I don't even know what you do when you go in your office.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like you literally have like a mic and a camera and you have an email.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And other than that, like I you hang out on the internet.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are you on Reddit?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what you do.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so, like, that was really hard for me because I am jazzed up about my business.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: I love talking about it, but like that was a huge roadblock to figure out how to share and express myself without the expectation that somebody has to fully understand me.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like expressing myself just to express and to share and to be okay if people didn't get it because my business is for me and I understand it and my clients understand it.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: But like that was fucking tough.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: And even sometimes I still get frustrated of like everybody's asking everybody else, like, how's work?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: How's work?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And like nobody's really asking me about my business.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, it's doing great.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Can I talk about it?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: But if I talk about it, you're not gonna fucking know what I'm talking about.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, it's funny, it's reminding me of my husband, Bobby and I lived abroad for several years and like it was our whole lives.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And when we came back, I don't know what I was expecting, but I was kind of expecting people to like give a shit.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: And like nobody, nobody wants to hear about it, like at all.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like maybe my maybe my parents asked a question, but we kind of came back with like, hey, this we had the most insane three years.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: We've got all these, we've changed so much, we've learned all these things, blah, blah, blah.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: And like, nobody, nobody wants to talk about it.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of how I feel with my business sometimes.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I I struggled.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'll think about like I'm at a pool party and someone will ask me a question, what's been going on?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And my mind goes blank because like, what has been going on is usually business stuff that I'm excited about.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's where my curiosity lies most of the time.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's where I'm thinking and growing and things are happening.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: But then I'm like, oh, well, they don't want to hear about that.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: So what else can I talk about?
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a good indicator to me for when things are getting off balance.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: This is kind of like video game level three on this topic.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if I have nothing else to talk about, that's probably a sign that I'm like maybe a little too into work these days and I need to have hobbies and other things, and that can be my ebb and flow.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can definitely get way too into it.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that can kind of go both ways.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: But I have like this is just who I am, and that's what I spend my weekends.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: I wake up on Saturday and like want to watch coaching videos, you know, like I just enjoy this shit.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: And like, and it's hard when people, the people around you in your immediate world don't have that same level of interest.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: And in fact, their interest lies in things that you're not interested in, perhaps.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, like finding the common ground can be difficult and that is sometimes socially for me.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's so funny.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like on Saturdays, you're watching coaching videos.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: On Saturdays, I'm looking up like SEO data for YouTube videos that I can create next week.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: My friends are like, What have you been doing?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, You're not gonna believe the gaps in the market for like this this keyword, and like I'm gonna create this video and I'm a content creator YouTuber, and I've been watching income reports from YouTubers and I'm gonna fucking kill it.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: And they're just like, Do you want me to like a video for you?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Yes, yes, please, thank you so much.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: But like my friends, they try as much as they can, and it has gotten a lot better since I've been speaking up, but it's like it's also an invitation for me to like share the possibilities and share the things that I'm excited about because like they're willing to listen.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if they're my people, they are willing to listen, but like I can't put the expectation for them to ask me the right questions when they don't even they watch like makeup tutorials on YouTube, which is fine.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just on the other side of it trying to fucking look at the data keywords and shit for YouTube.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just it's different perspectives of things.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm with you.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm with you.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so roadblock, let's recap.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblock number two was just this kind of feeling like an outsider, feeling like you're living a double life.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, moving into the third roadblock.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, this This idea is something that to be quite frank, um I definitely still struggle with, probably today have struggled with.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: And it's this idea of worthiness.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the, you know, the truth of the matter is your worth and your business are two totally independent, separate things.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you'll hear a lot of pricing advice out there.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: Charge what you're worth, know your worth.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you're priceless.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: I fucking hate that.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're you're how could you ever charge your worth?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're priceless, right?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's very easy to get your, especially if there's like a creative piece or some like this is your purpose in life, um, and that like you really are fulfilled in this, you can get really tied up when things don't go so well.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: The story you tell yourself is like, I'm shit, I'm worthless, I have no value.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: And you your personal worth can really get tied up in the highs and lows of business.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And there will be highs and lows of business literally every day.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so the the Jedi trick here is can you detach the emotion from the highs and lows?
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's easier said than done, you know, like I'll find I'm closing a bunch of sales calls, I'm on top of the world, I'm the shit.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: But then I have maybe a lull week and I am like, do I'm a total fraud, I'm imposter, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, how did I even get here?
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like what so it's like that your worth and your output in work and the way you earn money, it's so separate.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: And for me, separating emotion out of how I earn money was very big.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so this idea of like, um, the sooner you can detach your worthiness and really self-source, like I know that I am worthy, independent of whatever I do to earn money.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that that's a big ask because we're not taught that in internal worth from childhood, you know, that's certainly something you have to work on.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think the stronger you can, the earlier you can work on those muscles and really disconnecting and really getting clear on like what this business is and what role it plays in your life.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but it's not everything, right?
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so like that separation, I think here is the roadblock that took me a very, very, I mean, my first business was my husband and I started a business together, like talk about everything being wound up, all intertwined, intermeshed, right?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I certainly walked this walk and I had like relationship spirals and everything, you know, when I was first getting started.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I that this one's hard.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that I don't know, am I alone, Maria?
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't, I don't think I'm the one that still struggles with this too.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: The only one.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Nah, bitch, you you you ain't alone.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, yeah, this is this is a huge roadblock.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I go through different different layers of this every so often, and the universe fucking humbles my ass.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like it really, it really, really does like similar to you.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'll be on such a high of just like, oh my God, I'm amazing, I'm a genius at what I do.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden, you know, just like everything, there is highs and lows in income, there's highs and lows in business, there are seasons where you're coasting, there's seasons where you're growing.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's natural.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: Life is a circle, everything is in cycles.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like we assume that because we're in business, we need to always be growing, and like that's not the case.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: But when you're in this mindset of like, if I'm not growing, then I'm failing.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: That is when worthiness becomes a big issue.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, the the biggest lesson here was like, how can I create safety in myself instead of relying on my business for safety?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember getting to a point where I was like, I'm showing up in desperate ass energy.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like I am showing up desperate as fuck.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And like this is this does not feel empowering.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: It feels like the outside world has power over me.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I had to get to a point where I was like, I don't give a fuck.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: I will take out a business loan.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: The money means nothing to me.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: I will figure it out.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had to get to that point where I just finally surrendered to whatever wanted to come through in whatever timing.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I don't give a fuck.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna figure it out.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is my business.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm staying this path.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna whatever.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I I go through I go through this every few months to where I'm like, I don't, I don't give a fuck.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: The money doesn't mean anything.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like that's how it humbles me because it's like it makes me detach again because like it all creeps back in when you're not paying attention to it.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why it's just mindful to notice of like, okay, um, it's I'm starting to attach my business to my worth again, or like I'm starting to rely on my business to feel safe.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like, how can I take a step back and realize that like the amount of money that I make this month, the amount of money that I make in a day, like if I don't hit my goal of 20K this month, like it doesn't mean anything about me.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, but like that is a fucking hard lesson to learn because we I was just gonna say, yeah, because like we just especially when our business is like our life, my business is like my form of expression.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: My business is the way that I show up and serve and like my identity, it really is connected to my business, even though people are like, Don't connect your identity to your business.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, listen, the podcast episode, how could it not be, right?
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: In what we do, yeah.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: And like the the podcast episode with uh the astrologer Shayna that we're gonna release in a couple weeks.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: There's certain things in the birth chart where it's like she was going through things and she was like, Listen, like it's in the 10th house of Shme Shmer Shmi, and like your identity might be connected to your business.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, me and Shay are both like, Thank God you said that, because there's so much advice being like, do not connect your identity to your business.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like, I can't fucking help it.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is my way of like serving, but then it puts even more personal responsibility on me to be like, listen, there is a healthy expression of this and there is an unhealthy expression of this.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: So, like walking that line and just like noticing the balance of both of them, it's honestly the fucking only advice that I have.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: We ain't ever gonna figure this shit out.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're humans, but it's like, how can we just be aware of like where we're at and how much we're sourcing from outside things versus inside things?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you brought up a lot of really great points, but I like um I especially like how you brought it back to this idea that like if we're not growing, we're dying.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's like a very capitalist mindset.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think like technically our economies in enters recession when it actually starts to stagnate, not when it's declining.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so we have this idea deeply ingrained to us that like it, and I've heard I've heard it, it is business advice.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not growing, you're dying.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: And and and that's not true, you know.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: And in my situation, so here's been my version of this lately.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: I am in a like almost a cruise control phase of my business.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: I have a lot going on in my personal life.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not in like an active growth phase in my business, and I really, really, really struggled because that was definitely not my identity.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: I was a growth goal, go-getter.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: And so sitting in cruise control felt literal like death.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I really had all this shame and like all of this, you know, worthless talk.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then I had a coach kind of guide me through this idea of enoughness, defining enoughness.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, as soon as I defined what is enough for me, what do I need out of this?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, oh, I'm already making and I make plenty of money.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I make enough to save, I make enough to live the life I want to live.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm doing good and I'm working.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: But you're not making enough to buy a private island.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I kind of realized like, oh, I am you again using other people's metrics to evaluate my own worthiness.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_01: And instead, I'm not what what what are my metrics?
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: What is enough for me?
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm already there.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that once I was able to have that realization, it was easier for me to be like, I've got enough on my own.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it I'm quicker now to be like, oh, my worst, not my business.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: My business is something different.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's a detached, it's a thing of its own that pays the bills, that's wonderful.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: But like, I've been in cruise control and it's been lovely and it's opening up bandwidth for me to now think about what's next, what's the next phase?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: And and I I'm glad that I got myself out of the shame spiral around not growing.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: And and I want to know that that is our core programming to believe, even if you realize it or not.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: And the growth can happen if you think about a tree.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Growth can happen in a lot of ways.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: It can happen outwardly in the branches, it can happen underneath the ground with the roots forming a different connection, right?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: So just being, I I don't I love that you mentioned that idea of like it has to always go up, because I think that that is where worthiness spirals can for sure start.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it goes back to to childhood with our rapport cards.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: If I got a C in science last semester, and then I get a C in science this semester, it's like, why didn't you improve?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't you get a better grade?
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your grades are supposed to go up.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: We've literally been ingrained with this.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then people that get to the top, where do they go from there?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and like you have to then you get these weird perfectionist things where you feel like you have to stay best of the best, top of the best, and you're too scared to fail.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, like that is a whole nother, you know, growth first fix mindset episode we can have.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, that this there's so much to talk about here with worth.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it I had never even heard of this idea until maybe like a year ago.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like the first time someone said, Sounds like your worth is cut up in your business, I was like, excuse me?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a thing.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like it wasn't even, I didn't even know they could be separated, right?
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: So just know that this is a big topic.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: We could talk about it for a long time.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: But if you can even start to just think about the ways in which your worth does get tied up in your work, just being aware.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_01: Awareness is most of the healing, as always, right?
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um okay, well, let's not go on for four hours.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I got like really excited about that one.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the the fourth roadblock is a lack of regulations in the online business world.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: What do you, what does that mean to you, Mariah?
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, so I mean, okay, if we kind of think of it, think of it in terms of like becoming a doctor, becoming a lawyer, becoming a therapist.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: You have to go to school, you have to get a degree, you need a certification, you need X amount of hours of study, X amount of like practicing something, something.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: In the online space, I could literally pay somebody on Fiverr to create a website to say that I'm a copywriter.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I could literally be like, I am a copywriter and I write copy for business owners.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's it, point blank.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: And now I can sell myself, even though I've literally not done a damn thing, or I haven't done any learning behind, yeah.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, it all comes back to like values, right?
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like when somebody, when the online space, it's it's so it's so open that anybody can do it, which is great.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll talk more about that in basically the next roadblock.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: But it's so open that we can't assume that everybody has the same values and the same integrity.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like we see this website and anybody can create a website, and then it's like that's why testimonials, case studies, and everything is so important.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: And like even the practice of if you're gonna hire somebody, ask them if you can talk to one of their past clients.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've like given referrals like that through people.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody that I hired for email, email marketing one time.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, hey, Mariah, I have a lead that wants to know like firsthand experience.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Is it okay if she DMs you on Instagram and asks you some questions about working with me?
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Yeah, why isn't this fucking normal?
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: Ask me.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: I will tell you exactly how my experience was.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, thank God it wasn't a bad experience because like that would have been heartbreaking for me.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, I could definitely gas this girl up and like I was happy to, but it's like there's no regulations, especially in coaching.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why there's such like this thin line between coaching and therapy, because it's like there's no regulations in the coaching space, but there's all of these regulations in the therapy space.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: And we see a lot of like either current therapists or therapists that are moving into coaching being like, what kind of wild, wild west is this?
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there is no regulations, there's no standards of practice for literally anything in this business besides what the FTC?
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like before you fucking do an ad or do a sponsorship, you got a hashtag sponsor.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's literally what, like the only regulation?
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, it's it's interesting.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: You're as you were talking, I was thinking about how many times I've seen people even fake testimonials, fake portfolio.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's very common in the design world to steal other people's portfolio and say, hey, yeah, I've done all this work.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and there's really nothing to prove.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's it's not like Amazon where you have like thousands of reviews.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: There's not really a lot of review systems, like, yeah, there's Google reviews, but there's not a lot of ways to get independently, you know, like certified feedback on a place.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um verified.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why what Mariah is saying is so important.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Follow up, don't trust what people have online.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's so easy to throw up a website and say anything.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: I've sometimes even been shocked, like, um, like as I was kind of stepping into a consultant, I you know, like, I this is what I do now, and just how quickly people are like, okay, yeah, this is what you do.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, people will believe you.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: And if you whatever you say you do, they'll believe.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I always have operated from a place of integrity, so that like I think I have a bit of like rose-colored glasses that I assume everybody else does.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: But unfortunately, that's not the case.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: It is truly the wild, wild west.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_01: And there are people out here that are seizing the moment and seizing the opportunity and um taking advantage that you can't do a lot of fact-checking about them.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of really good marketers out there that are really good at making things sound really, really cool and really wonderful.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then once you buy it, it's nothing.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: They were really good in the selling and not the delivery.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: And unfortunately, that's like more norm than I think I would like it to be.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so this was a hard one.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I've learned, I think we've all learned the lesson of investing in something that wasn't what it promised, or um working with someone that didn't deliver what they said they would, or you know, like, and there's no enforcement, you know, it's it's really like you have your reputation.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: And um a lot of times people can even be tricky about that and use like fake aliases and come up with a new business.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've seen like businesses that get like, you know, just trashed for doing something horrible, and the same person will just go get new branding and launch a new name and be up and running within like six weeks, you know, like it really is um important to do your due diligence when working with people and ask for real referrals and talk to real people and in and your coaches be discerning.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_01: No, are they super?
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm honestly not really trying to buy from people anymore that I think are super slick at marketing because I'm like, I know what that means, you know.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm looking for more human coaches that are showing up more human and like kind of failing and letting me see that side of them and not trying to be this perfect person.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll you'll learn your discernment muscles grow and you'll get aware of like the tricky stuff that people do and the spammy stuff.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: But at the beginning, just know that like it's not a given.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that it even in people, I'm good at reading people.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's like one of my superpowers, but even I can be fooled.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, people are really, really good.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that those of us that just assume integrity is a given, it's easy to forget that they're really there's no supervised hours of people learning how to do this stuff.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I think you need 10,000 supervised hours to be able to help someone, but correct there's no um systems in place to ensure quality, and that can be a good and a bad thing, but we're knowing that I think just knowing that um as like a consumer is very in a business owner working with other people and collaborating and us deciding what clients you allow on your roster, you know.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so that this again again gets back to like red flags and stuff, but it's it's a it's a truly wild, wild west, like the online business world.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's no better way to describe it.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm uh I'm glad that you brought up collaborations because that's just something I really wanted to bring up before we move on to the next one, is like, especially when you're trying to figure out A, like who you want to be business friends with, who you want to surround yourself with, like what circle you're entering, or like who you want to collaborate with.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, it's important.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: And like I always recommend to clients, like I've done uh intensives to like help clients like collaborate with other business owners to help with visibility.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I always suggest to people like start small.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: Don't have your first collaboration with a person be like ours, like a podcast.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like me and Shay have collaborated in other smaller ways.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was a lot smaller in terms of like just uh like voxing back and forth and like just getting to know each other and hopping on weekly calls and like that form of like support so we could really get to know each other.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like you really have to figure out a if you're gonna work well with that person, but also like, are they gonna do what they say that they're gonna do?
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes it's kind of like those school projects, right?
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Where you get like put into a group and it's like, oh, here I am doing all the work when it's like Janelle down the street didn't do jack shit and shows up and expects to get the same grade as me.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you really have to figure out like, is this person going to communicate?
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: Are they going to step up and take personal responsibility for like their role in this?
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because like at the end of the day, especially with smaller collaborations, a lot of times you don't have a contract.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times you forget to talk about the nitty-gritty.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to talk about compensation, you don't want to talk about what if things go south.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like there's no regulations.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: There's there's no there's nothing that has our back besides us.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I don't know if I want something to really have my back.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I feel really good having my own back, but when you're first getting started, it's really fucking overwhelming because it's like, uh, I don't want to fuck up.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like what contract do I need?
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: What this do I need?
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like just know that you definitely learn more as you go.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: But like you said, I think just being aware of it from the jump is like super important.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_00: And just don't be afraid to be curious and to ask the questions.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I think we're gonna head into roadblock here.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so, roadbloc is that there's a misconception in the online space that starting an online business is easy.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's a small barrier to entry, literally, like I said on the last one, you can pay somebody, create a website, and look, look at that.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: Now you're in business.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now you can go and get clients.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're blessed in the online space to have a small overhead.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like basically, what we need, we can run a full business from a smartphone.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: We don't even need a desktop, we don't even need a laptop.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_00: We can run the entire thing from a smartphone and like compared to another business, like a restaurant or like a boutique, uh a clothing boutique.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like we have very little overhead.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so that comes with the misconception that like figuring it out and being successful is going to be easy.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: And we've all seen those interviews on Forbes, on Entrepreneur, where it's like, I went from earning$15 an hour to$1,500 million in 45 minutes.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like painting this picture that it's like they didn't have any roadblocks to overcome, or that like they didn't have to figure anything out, or they didn't have the ups and downs that the rest of us are going through.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, and then we compare ourselves to that, or we just have expectations that aren't realistic.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: That it's like once we decide to be in business, I shall be successful.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's like there's shit that you have to learn, there's patience that needs to be exercised here.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I noticed we've talked a lot about like the glamorization and like all the hype that exists in the online business world.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of unicorn type stories of people that made it overnight.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what unfortunately gets glamorized more so than the people that are just here day in and day out, you know, like doing the work.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, I think that there is this like a misconception that it's really easy, and that um, you know, I think we all kind of in a way it's good because I think it encourages people to take the jump.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I agree.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um once you jump, you your immediate reaction is holy hell, like this is way crazier than I ever expected.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um you just don't even, it's impossible to even estimate the type of like mindset work that needs to happen and just like personal growth that needs to happen and um can personal, I hate saying personal control, but like self-discipline.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: And like I had to like change who I was as a human being.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_01: It seemed a lot easier.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um it did, I knew that it wasn't gonna be easy, but it's like just because it's kind of easy to jump into, don't assume that it is easy to do.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: And just because you're seeing this highlights reel and all these people like I quit my job and moved to Portugal and now I work for myself and my life, I'm living my best life.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like, no.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's high they have highs and lows just like you have highs and lows.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so um I think that getting aware of like the glamour and the I can't think of like the right word, but just like the intrigue and like the facade, the facade of being an entrepreneur, you know, like it it's and then today it's like easier than ever with all the online stuff.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: But I think like just like FOMO, you know, it it's very easy to get caught up in what other people are doing, and you have to remember that like what you perceive is not the full story.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: And even though it may seem easy and seem like, oh yeah, I can do that too, it's not it's not the case, right?
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: And where you have to, I I always tell people like if you want to do this, you gotta really want it.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: And and like Mariah and I are saying, like, this is what fuel we know that at the end of the day, this is what fuels us.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is what we spend our free time thinking about and you know, we get excited about, but it sucks.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_01: There are just some sucky shitty things about this, and you gotta really want it, and it's not gonna be easy.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think if you go into this with the mindset of like, I'm gonna get rich quick, and I so-and-so made a million dollars in a year, and that's what I'm gonna do too.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a really hard slap in the face.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I just in terms of success stories, like context is such a beautiful thing.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear somebody being like, one of my TikToks went viral, and it's like, yeah, but you created four million Instagram reels, figured out the algorithm, figured out what you wanted to do.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there was so much testing and tweaking that nobody wants to talk about.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: And like we're gonna talk about in another episode this season about like getting lucky is fucking part of it.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_00: And some people get fucking lucky, and like that's okay.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay that they get lucky, but it's like we have to remember to not beat ourselves up for not hitting a six-figure year in the first year, or like even if you're 10 years in business and haven't hit a six-figure year, like it doesn't mean that you're not growing or you're not good enough.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like running a sustainable business in a way that supports your lifestyle in a way that is still nourishing, so you're not hustling and burning out.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's the journey, like that's it.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're doing.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like if you're getting in business just because of the money, you're not gonna last long here.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're not because like the money isn't something that comes in overnight.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: You have to fall in love with the grit.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: You really do, because like also that's what makes it so sweet, right?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_00: Is like looking back seven years later, like, holy, I did that, I overcame that, I figured it out, I'm still fucking here.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what a blessing.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: I also think if you're in it for the money, it's gonna be way too tempting to act out of integrity.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's pretty easy to find a lot of ways to scoop up money online.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you really do have to have a strong moral compass, I think.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, so I I do think that that's a really key thing to note, right?
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like money can't be the motivator.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, okay, moving on.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblock number six.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: You're your own boss, which is lovely in a way, but there's no feedback, no progress reports, no one to evaluate your progress.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so a major roadblock that Mariah and I had was how do I evaluate growth?
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how do I improve?
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: How do I know that I've made progress?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: How do I know that I'm headed in the right direction?
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: How do I know if I'm even on like what if I'm doing what the tasks I'm doing are right?
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this idea of like, am I right?
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: Is this right?
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: Am I heading in the right direction?
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like I think we go to school, we get report cards, it's like we're told what to do, we perform, we're evaluated, and then we go to college, same deal.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: Then we go to work, we get a boss who tells us what to do, we're evaluated.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it we have sit-downs every six months.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here's how you've been.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_01: You rank great on these areas, here's where you need improvement.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're getting external validation, and that's the pattern we learn, just like as humans.
• 48:09
  SPEAKER_01: So then it can be kind of wild when you go out on your own, and there's nobody ever gonna come and tell you you charge doing great, babe, you charge the right price for that project.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: No one's ever gonna tell you.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's never gonna be someone that comes and certifies it, right?
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that was hard for me because I was so used to having someone tell me, you did it right, you did it wrong.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's gone, right?
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and then you can really let yourself spiral.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, did I charge too much?
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: Did I not charge enough?
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: In in um, your goals, you know, there's no one gonna be holding you accountable to achieving goals or to setting goals.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, you know, you guys know that we have kind of like a nuanced way of thinking about goals here, but there is something to be said about like feeling like you're making progress and you're moving forward.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you can, um, if you get into business and you're not tracking anything and you don't really know up from down, it's really you can feel really rhetorless and directionless, and and it can be kind of a horrible feeling, honestly.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like I had a lot of existential crises.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like a um a buoy out here in the middle of the ocean.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: I have no idea.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like at the whim of the waves, you know.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so you have to be the one that comes in and like decides what is a win and decides what is progress and is creating space to reflect and um, you know, evaluate yourself and in being radically honest about what's not working, you know, and and then also being nice to yourself on the other what is working, it's hard to do that.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's just hard to be that that's like um a role, an objective role, usually.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard to do that for yourself because you're so inside your jar.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that was really difficult for me because I was used to getting all my validation from other people to then jump into online business and like literally the only validation I'm getting is what is in my bank account.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_01: And the first few years, that was not awesome, right?
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's hard when you're not getting feedback about what you're doing on a day-to-day basis or even like bigger picture.
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard to even be that voice for yourself.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, that's why it's so easy to have your worthiness caught up in business, is like the only feedback, the only progress report, the only way to evaluate your progress as we've grown up thinking is by money.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like that's how we can so easily connect our worth with the money that we make.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think that like one of the biggest things with me, the biggest roadblock that I had that honestly I have to really put in effort in order to do this because it doesn't come naturally to me.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it didn't used to come naturally to me.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_00: Celebrating myself, celebrating myself for like the little shit.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like for the first five years in business, I didn't celebrate jack shit.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_00: I literally would just be like, oh, look, another year in business, and maybe I would make an Instagram post about how grateful I am.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was grateful.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not gonna say that I was like walking around as like a little ungrateful bitch, but like, um, I like, but I didn't sit in it.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't allow myself to really feel the expansiveness and the gratefulness for like what I created and like be grateful that like 22-year-old Mariah created this business from nothing and celebrating the win of like, I have clients that trust me.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_00: I am like in charge of creating at that point in the beginning of creating their entire website, their entire brand presence on the internet that will then could determine the success of their business.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is a lot of responsibility.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I just overlooked it.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was no big deal.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like, nope, need to get another client, need to pay the bills, need to get another client, need to pay the bills.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, I it wasn't until more recently that I was like, no, fuck this.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need to start carving out time to celebrate and just really sit in the excitement of like, dude, I fucking did that.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it feels small, like setting a boundary with a client, sending an email that felt fucking tough, even if it's like a tough conversation that me and Shay have to have, and like celebrating the fact that like we talked about it, we talked through it, like neither of us closed off, like we had a conversation that didn't feel too good in the moment, but like we got through it.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's like that is shit to celebrate.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: Celebrate the fact that like even in our seemingly little way, we are changing the world, even if it's like through one interaction at a time.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I have clients that have gotten dozens of clients through Google because of the work that we have done together.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like not taking responsibility for their success, but celebrating the fact that like I stayed in the game long enough to master this craft.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_00: And now what a blessing, what a gift that I get to now share my knowledge with other people.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_00: And like that alone is something to celebrate, collecting the data points.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_00: And like we just have to do that more as business owners, but there's nobody doing that for us.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's nobody being like, hey, look, you hit this milestone, you did this thing, like, oh, you should celebrate that.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_00: Unless you have like a close friend where it's like they've seen your growth.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_00: And me and Shay kind of have gotten into the habit of doing that lately, where it's like we notice in each other just even the slightest perspective shifts of like, hey, you've been doing really good at this lately and used to struggle with this.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, take a second and just be like, wow, thanks for pointing that out.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_00: And like it's tough to find that on your own and to not have a boss or an authority figure like point out what you're doing well.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think you're kind of getting to the the other side of this.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like the the um lesson for me here has been get a business friend, get a coach, get um, I was not able to do this for myself.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: I I will say I am trying to work on the practice of celebrating myself because it does not, it also doesn't come naturally to me.
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_01: I can't remember if I've shared this on the podcast before, but I heard this metaphor once that resonates so well about this.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I feel like with compliments and good stuff, it's like Teflon.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Teflon and it hits me and it just slides right off.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: But if it's like one bad thing, like one bad comment or one like kind of sassy email or something, then I'm like uh honey, like sticky, like it sticks to me like glue and like I can't let go of it.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I I don't like that about myself.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like that is something I'm trying to work on.
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, honestly, being around Mariah and like having her reflect things back to me and just being around other people, um, trying to not go it alone because it you need I I at least needed somebody else to help me pause and remember in um also making space for things that may feel silly, like quarterly reflection time, where you really do sit down and or even like I like what Mariah was saying.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I sit down and like think about what my clients are doing now versus what they were doing when we met, and it's insane.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, how cool was it that I got to have a role in that and like let yourself sit in that gratitude?
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: That feels awesome, but you have to make the time.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_01: There's always going to be, I think in this world, there's always gonna be another mountain to climb.
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_01: There's always gonna be infinite things to do, and so it's really easy to stay in the like, what's next?
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: What's coming?
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: What else can I be doing?
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: What should I add to my list?
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not as easy to kind of reach a stopping point and kind of look, look at back, collect your points, like Monique said in our episode, you know?
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so um, I think that that's a really powerful practice and get it with a friend, make time for it in your own schedule.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, don't overlook the power and like reflection and evaluation and that kind of stuff.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because it's it's really the work.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, roadblock number seven.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_01: This is a juicy one.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_01: Taxes and accounting.
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um I told Mariah, I think a lot of I I hear this more than I hear anything else.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone goes into business without thinking about taxes.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like I think everybody's everybody's got some kind of scary tax bill in their store in their story of running a business.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_01: And know if you're in that right now and it feels really scary.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_01: We've all been there.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: We get it, you know, and not a lot of people go in.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then most people didn't go to business school.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: We don't go in knowing how to run a business and um we don't think about, you know, I think it's typical, it's easy to think like, oh, if I'm earning$150,$150 an hour, I'm gonna be taking home that much money.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, not the case.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, there's so many, you're paying for everything, and you got to pay taxes.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so um it's it's uh it's a journey we all go through.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: And some advice that I got, some of my first business advice, I this was actually Jenna Kutcher.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you guys know her, she said the first thing I ever did was hire an accountant, and it was the best decision I ever made.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so I always just remembered that.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that money and I am not motivated so much by money.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, uh, do I care about it?
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: And like, do I think it's a powerful resource I can use to do good for sure?
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_01: But like my core motivation goes a little deeper than that.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, I just don't, I'm not checking my bank accounts all the time.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not into the numbers.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's something that I kind of avoid.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I know, like, okay, I know my numbers, I know what I have to hit, and then I don't really want to think about it too much more than that.
• 57:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I hired it out.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: I got an accountant, and she has been a blessing in my life.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_01: She has helped me earn more money and save more money.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so get a bookkeeper, get an accountant.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't, there's something for every price level.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_01: Go to binge.com.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: They have bookkeeping services for all kinds of people.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_01: But get someone to help you as early on as possible when it comes to your books and taxes and accounting and all that stuff, especially if you're like me and you tend to avoid that, because there is no avoiding it.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it'll it'll creep up in one way or another.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, this was definitely a really big roadblock for me in terms of allowing myself to sit within the financials without feeling shame.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I didn't want to hire a bookkeeper, to be honest, in the in the beginning, because I was like, I'm only making like I think my first year in business, I made 15, 20K, which like now I look back, I was like, a 22-year-old, that's like how much I made fucking working at the job that I was making.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I was making my own schedule.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 58:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what the fuck?
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I was so shameful of it.
• 58:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't, I also, when I got into business during that time in my life when I was 22, really against authority, I was drinking a lot.
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_00: And like I just I didn't want to face anything in my life.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it was before like a really intense healing journey that I had to go through.
• 58:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I just wanted to avoid things.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, I don't want anybody, some bookkeeper coming in telling me what to do.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is my business.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like a little sassy asshole, to be completely honest.
• 59:05
  SPEAKER_00: But so, like the first two years in business, I all I did was like save my receipts, and I had my system where I did contracts and invoicing.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: So, like that's kind of what I used was whatever system I think it was 17 hats.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: I was using that for invoicing, and then I just saved all of my receipts and I had like a little email folder and I just saved everything in there.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then I did my taxes myself with my brother doing turbo tax, and I was like, Well, I gotta figure it out.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_00: And like I was horrified.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, We're gonna miss something and the IRS is gonna come from my head.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_00: I remember losing sleep over it.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm asking my brother, I was like, they're gonna come for me, aren't they?
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_00: And he was like, Mariah, they have bigger fish to fry.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: You would literally be off by like a hundred dollars.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we did it, it's fine, whatever.
• 59:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, nope, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna be thrown in jail.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I forgot who was it, Martha Stewart.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_00: Was she thrown in jail for taxes?
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I'm the next Martha Stewart, even though I'm little Mariah, that literally nobody's paying attention to, but I had this huge fear and like it was just a big roadblock.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_00: But like uh bookkeep of hiring a bookkeeper was one of the very first things that I ended up hiring out for my business.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I found her and I will never let her go.
• 1:00:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope that nothing ever happens to her.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_00: And she only does it quarterly still, like she doesn't come in and do it monthly.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I keep things pretty slick, pretty clean over here, and it's it's really just me outside of like two freelancers.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yeah, it's like it can be simple.
• 1:00:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a local tax dude, which the money that he charges, literally no money, and literally charge me the same amount two years in a row.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, next year, if you don't charge me more money, I am going to be fucking mad at you.
• 1:00:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, please, please charge me more money for the services that you do because I don't want to do this stuff.
• 1:00:53
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like just know that like there are simple ways.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to be you don't have to find like this big payroll processor and like all of these things when you first get started in business.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you can kind of wing it a little.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_01: To Mariah's point, like you're yes, I think the the thing to know actually here before an accountant or a bookkeeper, separate your accounts, separate your money.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a mistake that I've seen people you try to have one bank account.
• 1:01:23
  SPEAKER_01: But what Mariah is saying is smart, and that's what I've done is like, how can I systematize this?
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I have everything separate, like my business has you know, one system, everything runs through the one system, everything is paid through the one system.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've tried to think about how to keep it as simple as possible.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're just getting started, have a have a place for your personal money and have a place for your business money.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, if you can separate at that level, that's gonna just make your life a million times easier.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but maybe even just schedule a call, a consultation call, and say, what should I be thinking about?
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if you drive your car a lot, you need to be, you should be thinking about tracking miles.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think a lot of people don't know about things like there's all these cool deductions and write-offs, and you can think about how you're spending money in your business a little bit more strategically with taxes.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you can get, even if you are small, don't feel like you're ever too small.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, accountants and bookkeepers help people at all levels, and they're used to working with businesses that are in the negative and not earning anything, and you know, they've seen it all.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: So don't worry about you're not there yet.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_01: And and and do also give yourself grace if you're winging it.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then maybe you'll love it.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if you love it, do it for sure.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_01: This is just me projecting my shit on things, right?
• 1:02:33
  SPEAKER_01: But I will say that I have just at the end of the day, I've made money because of things that she's helped me find and know and look out for.
• 1:02:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's why I think it's just a really smart investment, um, especially because it's not something that I do naturally or I'm very interested in.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_00: I completely, I completely agree on that one.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, okay.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_00: So roadblocks.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_00: Things are all on you, baby.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like we said before, there ain't no boss, but not just progress.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we ain't talking about progress reports now.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_00: We're talking about like literally everything in your entire fucking business.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally all on you.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, you got to find a bookkeeper?
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_00: Cool, go find one.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_00: Ain't nobody else gonna find one.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's gonna tell you to find one.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_00: You need an accountant, nobody's gonna tell you where to find one, nobody's gonna find one for you.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_00: You need a new logo?
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you better fucking figure out how to how to either create one yourself, you better find somebody that's trustable.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_00: You better, like a website.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_00: What pages do you need on your website?
• 1:03:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, you better fucking figure it out.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna sell your packages?
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna send invoices?
• 1:03:36
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna literally how are you going to do anything?
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna record a podcast?
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna do YouTube videos?
• 1:03:41
  SPEAKER_00: What marketing would you like to do?
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_00: What platform do you want to be on?
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_00: What content do you like creating?
• 1:03:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, it's all on you.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you feel sick that day, it's all on you.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_01: No money's getting made.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's like you are the one that pushes things forward.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_01: And it is a bit of a disappointment if you're down to know that like the train has stopped.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_01: There are no, unless you and there are people that have businesses where they've really bust proofed the business and they can step out and it still runs.
• 1:04:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not at that point.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like I like you mentioned, my business is pretty much me and a couple consultants.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_01: And like, if I'm down, it's down.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I would love to continue to get make that better.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, we're the ones that hold the vision.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're the ones that pour gasoline in the engine of the train.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we're the ones that keep things moving.
• 1:04:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it it's it's wonderful in a way, right?
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're your own boss, you set your own schedule, you choose what you work on and how much and when.
• 1:04:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 1:04:39
  SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, you know, it the whole point of this episode is like business is a mirror of like all of your weak points and blind spots.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_01: And um you have to be radically honest and look at all of those little shadowy, dusty places that you've been trying to avoid and like get really clear on what you're good at and what you're not good at and where you need help.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_01: And um that, you know, there's just no, if there's something you don't want to do, there's no way to get around it unless you pay somebody to do it.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_01: And even in that sense, you're still doing something about it.
• 1:05:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you can't avoid things.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_01: And when you do, there's can be big consequences, you know, like legally, you got to think about the contracts you have with clients.
• 1:05:25
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to get sued, you know.
• 1:05:26
  SPEAKER_01: There, and I don't want to like give people like this big worry spiral, but at the end of the day, like at you hold the bag in the responsibility, and it is important to remember that.
• 1:05:37
  SPEAKER_01: And when you're hiring people, keeping that in mind of like, no, it's me at the end of the day that holds a lot of the risk, frankly, you know, and so um there's just a level of responsibility there and self trust there that is required that um, especially if you've been raised in like a dependent kind of relationship, the idea of like it's all you can be pretty radical and it can be pretty hard to rely on yourself in that way.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I don't think a lot of us have a lot of experience with just like kind of being out on our own.
• 1:06:15
  SPEAKER_01: So it it it it's uh it was wild for me in a way that I was I'm a pretty independent person to be honest.
• 1:06:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like wild for me like being out and like really, really realizing like in every fucking way it's on me.
• 1:06:30
  SPEAKER_01: That that kind of radical responsibility honestly is a lot of growth.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like when you can everything I'm gonna focus on what I can control and you know what is here right now is my responsibility.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_01: When you can approach it with that kind of mindset it's wonderful but I didn't come into it with that mindset.
• 1:06:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um yeah it was it was a painful learning experience.
• 1:06:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah yeah it's it's one of those things where it's like you really have to choose your heart.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:06:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because like like like we talked about when we first brought up this roadblock it's like there are people that have these businesses that run squeaky clean without them but they have a team they have a team that's helping them.
• 1:07:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like nobody's touching anything.
• 1:07:14
  SPEAKER_00: They have chosen the path of like creating a team so that they can kind of step away at this point right now I don't want a team.
• 1:07:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like I'm choosing my hard of then everything falls on me instead of choosing the hard of creating a team.
• 1:07:32
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like it's on us to make that decision because there's infinite ways to grow a business.
• 1:07:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's unlimited possibilities like that's kind of the amazing thing about running a business and like that's really what drew me to starting a business was I remember working for these like small like it I never really worked for like a big huge well no I did.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_00: I was a server at Friendlies for like six months and that shit was awful.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_00: But outside of that I didn't work for any corporate companies I worked for like small mom and pops and I remember some of them were just run really not great very poorly and I just remember thinking if all of these people can do it, I'm smart.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_00: I can 100% figure it out.
• 1:08:17
  SPEAKER_00: And like that's what got me into business because it's like I found myself sitting in a role being like I would do that a million times like in three different ways and this way would be more effective but it's like I didn't have the freedom to then make that decision.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like starting a business and having this freedom having time independence having location independence being able to work from wherever I want that's what really drew me into it.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_00: And like but then of course all the cons come in of just like okay then everything falls on you.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: And when you first get started it's so fucking overwhelming.
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like I actually just got off a consult call with a client who's fresh just starting her business and she was like oh my God I need to call an accountant I need to call a bookkeeper.
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_00: I need to figure out contracts and what do you need for this?
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_00: What do you need for that?
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well I don't I don't have anything I need a logo and I was like hey I know that you feel overwhelmed and it's a lot know that it gets easier and know that it doesn't have to be perfect.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like that's kind of the lesson that I wish that I would have known was that like it doesn't have to be perfect.
• 1:09:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I winged it pretty pretty well like I'm I'm still standing here with a solid reputation.
• 1:09:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't burn too many fucking bridges but it's like everything is on you.
• 1:09:30
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said like you can't avoid things and you have to face things head on.
• 1:09:34
  SPEAKER_00: And like if a client isn't happy with something like you have to answer that email you have to have the tough conversations.
• 1:09:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like it's a roadblock that you're gonna be grateful that you've built up the muscle to overcome because like the tough shit gets easier and then you realize how to prioritize I feel like that's the muscle here really learning what to prioritize what deserves your time and when and for how long I feel like that's that's really the muscle.
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah absolutely and um there's also something about like what you were just saying um for me what that brought up was this idea of like it all happens in baby steps.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know the as as we're listing all these things out I find myself feeling like my stress meters rise I'm like oh my God it is a lot of stuff.
• 1:10:26
  SPEAKER_01: And but honestly I did it and I'm thinking about well how did I do it?
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it it was one little step at a time just like every day I tried to get just a little bit of something done off my list and I knew I was taking baby steps forward.
• 1:10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I think remembering that in every moment there are infinite things to do but you do not have to do all of them.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_01: In fact one be Alice in Wonderland focus on your stone that you're on right now and then know that when you step forward the next one's gonna light up right but all you can do is this only ever will happen through baby steps.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_01: So just focus on where you're at right now there's a bit of like presence here that was the learning for me of like yes there's always going to be more things to do and it's still always going to be on me to do this.
• 1:11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Always right now I can find some peace and like it's only going to happen through one thing at a time and I can like relax and just focus on this one thing and have fun.
• 1:11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes have fun figuring it out like I I started off this roadblock literally going on like a full winded breath of all of the things that we have to do and it's like yes and you can have fun with all of it.
• 1:11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Every single piece of it you can allow yourself to play and to and to figure it out and to make it fun.
• 1:11:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about the perspective that you address it with honestly it really is.
• 1:11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah that's like the thing to take away of like you get to do this how you want that's the beauty of it's all on you is like then you get to do it how it works for you.
• 1:11:52
  SPEAKER_01: For me I want that I didn't want to do it the way other people have made it made me do it.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_01: It didn't make sense to me I needed to do it on my own.
• 1:12:00
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like all of these roadblocks have really turned into like lovely things um that I've learned and grown about myself.
• 1:12:07
  SPEAKER_01: But this next one is the same as well.
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_01: This one was really real for me.
• 1:12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblock is how no one actually knows what the fuck they're doing.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_01: I just makes you laugh I came into the business world with this idea that like everybody knew what they were doing and I didn't and what I needed to do was learn like what I was missing.
• 1:12:29
  SPEAKER_01: I was just like I mean I have just spent so much on coaching and courses and I'm a smart person you know I can learn this I can figure this out looking for this almost like missing piece.
• 1:12:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I I finally had a coach Rebecca who we'll have on later in the season she said to me one day like after like the 95th thing I had asked her if I was doing quote unquote right she said like Shay you know that everyone's just making this shit up right I was like what she's like nobody knows what they're doing.
• 1:12:57
  SPEAKER_01: We're all just making it up especially in the online business world like you said this has never existed before um we're all just making we're literally making it up and for me that was such a mind blown moment of oh I don't need to learn some guru's framework to make a million dollars instead the real skill is how can I figure out how this works for me and what this looks like for me.
• 1:13:21
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay I don't even think for me I needed to be told it was okay to be making it up because if I was making something up I felt like oh this is shit there's no I don't who who am I to like provide any value to anybody like it felt like made up things were bad.
• 1:13:38
  SPEAKER_01: But then when I realized like oh no anything ever has been made up by someone like this water bottle like a book you know like any it's all of been made up we're all just making it up all the time.
• 1:13:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was just like a big game changer for me of like not only do is it safe to make things up there is no right answer but really like the secret sauce is can you be really honest about yourself and make something up that works really well for you and um I think that's like where the magic happens.
• 1:14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah it's it's it's coming to the realization that nobody has the blueprint for success.
• 1:14:14
  SPEAKER_00: But like that was a huge thing for me too like especially being in school I always I was always high on a role I was always a high achiever like I was always like I I said in a previous episode like it wasn't really people pleasing like pleasing outside people like I was the people to be pleasing like I was trying to please myself and to prove myself and to and to prove that I was worthy it was more of like an internal motivator and internal push but like I was always needing to get the right answer.
• 1:14:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember in sixth grade I got my first B, I fucking bald my eyes out.
• 1:14:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was horrifying to me because it's like no I'm smart I do everything correctly and like I do everything perfectly and that's just the way that I do it.
• 1:14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's like you know I didn't think that that was an issue in the like teenage version of me.
• 1:15:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:15:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't see that that was an issue but oh boy did it fucking pop its ugly head in when I started a business and I'm looking like well these people have to know better than me.
• 1:15:14
  SPEAKER_00: They've been in business like 17 times longer than me.
• 1:15:17
  SPEAKER_00: They have to know the answer.
• 1:15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I just copy or get inspiration for what they're doing or try to copy their business model like then I'll be successful like them.
• 1:15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And like they definitely know more than me and like even until five years ago even even fucking recently who am I kidding like we we outsource answers like somebody else knows what's better for us than we do.
• 1:15:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it's easy to fall into that when we don't check in with ourselves and like that's a huge red flag for myself is like am I looking for somebody to tell me that like this is right, that this is correct and that to give me validation in order to move forward because if I am then I need to fucking take a sacred pause and come back into myself and to just be like what do I feel is the right thing as long as like my integrity and my values are in line like what what do I feel is the right next step?
• 1:16:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I had this realization that like nobody knows what the fuck they're doing.
• 1:16:14
  SPEAKER_00: I had it in college when like I was just looking around and I was like because up until that point like the authority figures knew like my principal knew the right thing my parents knew the right well I I don't think I ever thought that my parents knew the right thing to do.
• 1:16:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's a conversation for a different day.
• 1:16:28
  SPEAKER_00: But in college I literally was like these professors are just fucking winging it.
• 1:16:33
  SPEAKER_00: They don't really know they're just like going off of their past experience or their previous education.
• 1:16:39
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like a lot of the things that they were teaching me was outdated and I was like okay so you don't know.
• 1:16:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was the motivator for me to even quit school I was like fuck it.
• 1:16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody like if everybody else can figure this out I'll fucking figure it out.
• 1:16:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need a degree from somebody that's fucking winging it when I'm a I'm great at winging it.
• 1:16:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think the the biggest piece here is like giving yourself the grace and trusting yourself that when you know better, you're going to do better.
• 1:17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it because we're all testing and tweaking we're collecting data points we're trying to figure it out we're learning about ourselves because if we came into this world already knew who we were, what we wanted what our purpose was and how to do it, how boring would that be?
• 1:17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I wouldn't have signed up for this fucking ride.
• 1:17:24
  SPEAKER_00: How boring I already knew everything that was going to happen.
• 1:17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it's like you gotta you gotta see both sides of the coin here like of course it could be frustrating when all you want is an answer and you're feeling frustrated and you're banging your head up against a wall because you can't figure it out.
• 1:17:40
  SPEAKER_00: I literally am like that every time I start something new I'm literally like I'm a smart person.
• 1:17:44
  SPEAKER_00: How can I not figure this out like abstract painting drives me I love it and it drives me fucking nuts that it cannot be perfect and I don't even know what is good.
• 1:17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like whatever I create I suppose is good but like abstract paintings are going for millions of dollars and like what makes that better over like my abstract painting you know what I mean there's so many things where it's like I don't does anybody really know if that's good?
• 1:18:06
  SPEAKER_00: What makes that good?
• 1:18:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 1:18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Art is a thing that to this day I don't quite understand but it is what it is.
• 1:18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say you know it's funny I'm sitting here laughing I've definitely cried over a bee before and I wonder how many people in our audience can relate to that um yeah you know I it took me a little bit longer to have the realization that nobody knows what they're doing but that is a life lesson it's not just a business lesson lesson it's a life lesson.
• 1:18:37
  SPEAKER_01: And when you can like kind of demystify all these people that you've held on pedestals um and realize that they're just humans too making the best decisions that they can um it really opens up possibilities.
• 1:18:48
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm like you Mariah where I looked around and I was like wait a second like I could do this like you're a human and I think I don't know like I in high school I think I'm a human.
• 1:18:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and I was like I'm pretty smart like I can figure things out you know and you absolutely can if you have the fire for it you absolutely can and I definitely don't I hope that this episode doesn't kind of like deter people because it's it's been I'm so grateful as we're going through this I'm realizing like wow I've been on like a self-development journey fast track since I've jumped in this world and I'm like so grateful to be where I am sitting right now and being able to like think about these things and have awareness around them and talk about them.
• 1:19:26
  SPEAKER_01: They all take time.
• 1:19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Time yes and grace.
• 1:19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay so for the 10th roadblock we're actually just going to kind of tease this.
• 1:19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I know we've gone on a little long and this is actually something when we were planning the episode we got real feisty about and I think Mariah and I both have a lot to say around this topic and it's a topic that um is currently unfolding for both of us in like kind of different ways, which is cool.
• 1:19:52
  SPEAKER_01: But it's the idea that um your business doesn't need to meet all of your needs.
• 1:19:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I kind of went into business thinking that okay I'm gonna be a designer because I love being creative and I'm gonna get all of my creative um expression needs fulfilled and my business is going to take care of all of my financial needs and you know like it's gonna take care of you just think that your business is going to be this like magical savior that's going to like take care of you in every single way and I fulfill your every aspect of being and talk about glamorization and story in this world we hear a lot of people talking about I'm living my best life and I'm out here doing my purpose and I'm fulfilled and blah blah blah.
• 1:20:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you can get really caught up in hey the work I'm doing it's okay but it's not lighting me up.
• 1:20:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot you can I don't know the the lesson I need to learn here is like your work doesn't have to be like electrifyingly exciting and enticive and fulfilling every single day and meeting every need and you're you're living your best life and because of your work you know it's it's kind of unrealistic to expect one thing to kind of help you reach nirvana levels of fulfillment even though you may see people acting like it online.
• 1:21:09
  SPEAKER_01: So I I've had to learn about you know for me I was on this quest and a lot of people I coach are like well you know I need to build a business around like I'm really passionate about um animals.
• 1:21:22
  SPEAKER_01: I want to save the animals and that's what I'm here to do.
• 1:21:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I need to build a business around it and I need all my work every day to be working on helping animals and and that is certainly a thing you can do.
• 1:21:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if you have a clear vision for that do that.
• 1:21:35
  SPEAKER_01: But another thing you could do is get a job that takes you 15 10 15 20 hours a week to do easily pays your bills gives you that nice sense of safety and then you use all that extra free time that you're not spending at a job to go volunteer at an animal shelter or to go write a TED talk about some cause you feel really inspired by or to write a book you know you can let your interests come out in other ways and your passions come out in other ways.
• 1:22:04
  SPEAKER_01: It does not have to be through your business.
• 1:22:07
  SPEAKER_01: It can be it does not have to be and don't get caught up in like the wonderful story of like these just like it's just not realistic to expect like every single need you have to be met with this one thing.
• 1:22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I had a bit of that like fairy tale fantasy of like all of my needs would be fulfilled through this work and I would be doing work that I found enjoyable every second of every day.
• 1:22:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then when it wasn't and I kept trying to force it it wasn't great.
• 1:22:37
  SPEAKER_01: And instead I found a lot more peace with like I have something I really like sales.
• 1:22:42
  SPEAKER_01: I like sales I can't say that it's like the work that I thought I was put here to do on the world although it does help me help women build business which I am like fired up about but I'm good at it it comes easy I can help people with it it gives me a lot of space in my schedule to do other things like this podcast and things that feel fun and creatively exciting.
• 1:23:02
  SPEAKER_01: I can go outside when I want you know like I found something that it kind of has surprised me.
• 1:23:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's not what I expected but it is a wonderful it's just giving me this awesome safety and stability and I love it and I kind of nerd out about it and it's it's not fixing global warming directly like I thought I would be doing but like it is I loved what you said earlier about like we're all helping change the world in our own little small way, right?
• 1:23:30
  SPEAKER_01: We don't really know the full effect of the ripples that our work has.
• 1:23:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think like getting clear with yourself about like what does peace look like for me and like how could I work in a way like get what are your needs?
• 1:23:45
  SPEAKER_01: How much money do you need to make you know like and and know that there's a lot of ways to reverse engineer this and slice and dice it and it doesn't have to look like everything coming through your business.
• 1:23:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I mean also I mean well first off mic drop yeah I couldn't have fucking explained that better myself.
• 1:24:04
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it I apologize rambling thank you no uh yeah like we we're multidimensional fucking human beings dude to literally think that one thing is going to fulfill all of our needs it's not it's it's delusional but like I've thought that too we get into business thinking that you think you do one thing and it's going to be everything you've ever wanted it to be and nothing is ever going to go bad and you're gonna feel lit up and blah blah blah like that ain't life.
• 1:24:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not and like like I said in the last roadblock could you imagine if it was it would be boring it would.
• 1:24:41
  SPEAKER_00: When we're at our low points we don't think it will be boring we're like we will do anything to get back up there.
• 1:24:46
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like if it was always a high point if there was no roller coaster we would get bored and we would try to find a challenge because as humans we are problem solvers and I feel like as you were explaining that it just it's the same thing with relationships right you can't expect one relationship to meet all of your needs.
• 1:25:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can't it's unhealthy you are going to create codependence and like that was a huge thing that I had to learn in my relationship where it was like he can't be everything for me.
• 1:25:14
  SPEAKER_00: I have to show up and I have to play a role in this and I need other friends.
• 1:25:20
  SPEAKER_00: We can't just be each other's everything so I mean yeah like the the relationship that you have with your business is a reflection that you is a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself, which is the reflection of all of the other relationships that you have in your life.
• 1:25:35
  SPEAKER_00: They're all a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself.
• 1:25:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of what we meant in the beginning of the episode where like business is a mirror.
• 1:25:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I've said this before in a previous episode like when you walk through that door of the online business world you are faced you are put in a room with mirring you.
• 1:25:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it is literally all of these different relationships that you have is just a reflection of the relationship that you have with yourself, the relationship that you have with your money, the relationship that you have with clients, with business friends, with self-care all of it is a reflection back to you because you are the sole energy source of this business.
• 1:26:14
  SPEAKER_00: It is created from your energy from your direct talents and gifts especially if you are running your business by yourself.
• 1:26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously things get a little bit more multidimensional when you bring in team members and stuff like that.
• 1:26:29
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I can't wait to dive into that episode like yeah so if you guys listen to this you're like ooh shit that sounds that sounds juicy.
• 1:26:38
  SPEAKER_00: A of course it does like it's it's I feel like it's just something we we could talk about for so long.
• 1:26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like your business does not need to meet all of your needs.
• 1:26:47
  SPEAKER_00: And we're kind of just going to leave it at that as just like a little teaser.
• 1:26:50
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah we're excited we're excited to create that next episode too.
• 1:26:54
  SPEAKER_01: I love that cool all right well let's wrap this baby up I'm gonna summarize our 10 roadblocks really quick.
• 1:27:01
  SPEAKER_01: So roadblock number one work on those boundaries as quick as you can roadblock number two uh get used to kind of feeling like you live a double life kind of wrap your head around that uh roadblock number three your worthiness is not tied to your business or the results of your business you are priceless and a worthy human being in and of itself.
• 1:27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Number four, just being aware of the lack of regulations in the industry and having discernment around um what you're looking for and who you're available to work with.
• 1:27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblock the misconception that it's easy and it is pretty easy to dive in but not so easy once you get in.
• 1:27:41
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a fun one for both of us I think roadblox nobody, there's no progress management, no performance measurement it's on you.
• 1:27:50
  SPEAKER_01: You got to decide what growth looks like for you and then you got to show up and track that growth.
• 1:27:56
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblocks and accounting get clear about your number Numbers as soon as possible and separate it from your personal finances.
• 1:28:03
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblock number eight, everything is on you at the end of the day as a business owner.
• 1:28:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's like radical responsibility, is the word that keeps coming up to me for this one.
• 1:28:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like you have to really own it.
• 1:28:14
  SPEAKER_01: Roadblock number nine, just realizing nobody knows what they're doing.
• 1:28:18
  SPEAKER_01: There is no right way, there is no one way to do this.
• 1:28:21
  SPEAKER_01: And ultimately it comes down to your way.
• 1:28:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then roadblock number 10, don't expect your business to meet all of your needs.
• 1:28:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's kind of a fairy tale to expect it, even though that is like the norm that we see.
• 1:28:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything else that is on your heart or you're feeling called to share before we wrap up this episode, Mariah?
• 1:28:38
  SPEAKER_01: This was fun.
• 1:28:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, I feel like I feel pretty complete.
• 1:28:41
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of like the structure of it.
• 1:28:43
  SPEAKER_00: So, guys, if you liked the structure of this episode, you kind of liked how we had a list that we were going off of.
• 1:28:49
  SPEAKER_00: If that felt really, really fun for you, then definitely let us know and we'll we'll try to explore more in the future.
• 1:28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 1:28:57
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 1:28:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're going to close this one down.
• 1:28:59
  SPEAKER_01: If you joy enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone you love that would make us feel really special or tag us on social media.
• 1:29:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we really like to get your feedback.
• 1:29:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like Mariah said, you know, we are really available to hear about what's resonating and what's not resonating so we can continue to tweak and refine our message as well.
• 1:29:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, please DM us.
• 1:29:21
  SPEAKER_01: Don't hesitate to reach out.
• 1:29:22
  SPEAKER_01: We love connecting.
• 1:29:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I mean, as always, thank you so much for listening.
• 1:29:27
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for your continued support.
• 1:29:29
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• 1:29:35
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• 1:29:36
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• 1:29:42
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• 1:29:44
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• 1:29:53
  SPEAKER_00: But until next time, remember that you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
• 1:29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Follow the nudge, ask the questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
• 1:30:03
  SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in the next episode.