Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / July 27, 2021 | Mental Wellness Series: Parents

Transcript

July 27, 2021 | Mental Wellness Series: Parents · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_04: All right.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I do want to just say thank you to Melissa and Troy and Brooke for being a part of this evening.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_04: It was really fun to be part of the email threads as we went back and forth, and I got to just sort of sit on the sidelines and watch them collaborate on what they were going to share tonight.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_04: So I want you guys to know that if it's appropriate to say you are in for a treat because their passion is children.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_04: And so let me just start with Troy.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_04: That would be Troy in the middle.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_04: So yeah, Troy is a licensed clinical social worker and works at Abundant Life Counseling.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_04: He and his wife Heather have three basketball players, three, and they all happen to be boys.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_04: Luke 16, Drew 13, and Cole is 11.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_04: And they have attended Topeka Bible Church for 15 years.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: So if you happen to attend church here, you may have seen them around.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_04: Melissa Gossard here on my immediate left.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: This is her 24th year in the mental health field and her 20th year as a school counselor.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_04: She's also a TBRI practitioner, which means she specializes in trauma.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_04: So I learned something about her and all this.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_04: She is passionate about working with children.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_04: She loves a good adventure with her husband, who happens to also be her best friend, Jason, and their two amazing sons.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_04: And walking with Jesus is such a source of joy, hope, and strength in her life.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_04: And then Brooke Mulford down there on the end, she's an English major who started out teaching high school English.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_04: She taught three years at Topeka West and then decided that she wanted to start working on her master's degree in counseling.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_04: She's been married eight years to her husband Brent.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_04: They have three children, two girls and one boy, Macy 6, Delaney 3, and Madsen, who will be one next month.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_04: And this, I love this about Brooke.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_04: She says the part of her job she enjoys the most is helping students navigate the expected and the unexpected, and never knowing which one will walk through her door.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_04: She is getting ready to start her fifth year as a counselor at Topeka West.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_04: And what got her inspired in counseling was that she actually lost her mother as a freshman in high school and just received so much support from the school that she was attending at the time that once she got involved with high school students as a teacher, she thought, you know, counseling is really where I'd rather be.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_04: So if you would welcome our panelists tonight.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_04: And Troy, we'll go ahead and start with you.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I usually try to avoid uh public speaking pretty much at all costs.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um but Josh Jones, uh, he impacted this church community uh through his life uh and then after his death uh so deeply that I just couldn't say no uh to to this opportunity.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but I will be using uh notes very extensively to uh help me uh through this time.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um just want to tell you a little about my uh therapy history.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was a basketball coach and teacher at a small Christian school in San Francisco in the early 2000s, and then my wife and I moved back to Topeka uh in 2005 uh to be close to family when we had uh Luke, our first kid.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I had no idea what I was gonna do at that point.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um and my wife kind of pointed me towards uh maybe going to a master's in social work, and I listened to her because I'm smart.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And uh I graduated from uh Washburn uh in with a master's in 2008.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: I then became a therapist at Family Service and Guidance Center.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I was there for six years, and then I moved to Christ First Counseling uh Center.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was there for another six years and then started my own private practice uh in September 2020 alongside uh Angelica Pierce.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um Connie asked me to think about uh what brings kids into my office for uh suicide or serious depression or like trends that I'm seeing.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh one of the trends I'm seeing is that kids are showing like a lack of self-worth, a lack of purpose and direction.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh most are searching uh for who they are, have no clue uh who they are or who they want to be.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Another trend I'm seeing uh that kids are being influenced more and more by society and less and less by parents, uh, which leads to the question of uh where do our kids gain their self-worth, what influences what they think and what they feel.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Uh major influences I'm gonna address are peers, uh, social media, and parents.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh all play a big role in our kids' lives, uh and they can be positive or negative, uh, but we as parents need to be aware of these influences so we can be proactive in helping our kids go down the best path we can.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so first with peers.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh peers play a big role in our kids' lives and impact their emotional state and self-worth.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh most kids uh want to be liked, uh they want to be seen as cool or be in an in with at least some of their uh peers, uh which means most are kind of willing to do things they normally wouldn't do just to fit in uh with a desire to be liked.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh peers, what peers say and do to our kids and pack them.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh bullying, cyberbullying, sexting, uh special trends of the time can all uh be behind how our kids are feeling, uh, can lead to suicidal or severely depressed thoughts.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Uh bullying is a big one, uh, causing like low self-esteem, uh emotional pain for our kids.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh kids are constantly looking to position themselves in social stature, uh, but they do so often by tearing down others.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you'll see it in social groups or in uh sports.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh if your kid is trying to avoid uh school or activities, uh they may be avoiding trying to get bullied.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because they uh it happens in every school across really America.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh cyberbullying is especially dangerous.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh kids think they can say uh whatever they want on social media because they're not face to face.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so they've been saying things like, go kill yourself, and groups will jump in and attack one individual, and they act like it's not a big deal to say these kind of things to people.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now the kid being cyberbullied uh doesn't take it so harmlessly, it really affects them.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh sexting is also especially dangerous.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh girls are being uh asked to send uh pictures of themselves that are inappropriate and pressured uh by peers acting like it's something that they they need to do.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and the pressure to be liked sometimes leads to pics being sent uh or like an internal battle uh that can lead to drastic thoughts of suicide or self-harm uh when they're being pressured.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh specific trends uh of the time can also be dangerous.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh over the years, I've seen things uh like farming parties uh where kids will uh take meds from their parents' cabinet and they all go to the party and put them in a bowl and then they ingest all of them or handfuls of them.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh kids will play like the choking game uh where they'll choke themselves or have somebody else choke them uh to get kind of a euphoric feeling of death.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh emo and got trends, they're not dangerous in and of themselves, but they can lead to cutting uh thoughts about not caring about anything, and suicidal thoughts.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh with social media, uh connection is easier than ever in today's world.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm not even gonna act like I know all the different uh platforms uh that our kids get influenced by because it's ever changing, ever growing.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh some of the platforms that uh are out there YouTube, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Discord, Reddit.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the comp the concerning piece of these platforms uh is the ease of which uh they can relay messages to our kids uh and make people think that something's okay or that they should think a certain way.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh what lands kids in my office with suicidal thoughts uh from social media influences often relates uh to one of these following things.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh one is uh the belief that religion and God are for stupid people and you should just believe what makes you happy, uh, or uh sexuality confusion of some sort.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the idea of no God uh creates the idea of no hope, no consequences to actions, uh, nothing stopping us from making whatever foolish path uh we want for ourselves.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Also leads to kids often thinking they have no value, no purpose, which can lead to suicidal thoughts, because I mean why be here?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um seeing a huge increase in sexuality issues uh leading to suicidal thoughts.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Uh with social media, the idea of I'm gonna get these letters wrong, but LGBTQ, right?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's being pushed beyond uh just accepting if someone is gay, lesbian, or transgender.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: It goes to the point of encouraging our kids to move that direction and uh glorifies being gay, lesbian, or transgender, which really is pushing our kids that direction.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's not here to judge.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: God wants us to love all.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm just noticing a trend that is kind of leading to suicidal thoughts.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um what I see in my office is confused kids uh who take these messages to heart.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if they are a little different or have any sort of tendencies or thoughts of being gay, lesbian, or transgender, they just run with it.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they come to me feeling pain, ridicule from every single direction.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And uh they often have like an internal battle, uh, not truly knowing who they are, what they want to believe, or who that what they should believe.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: Uh this battle, confusion, ridicule often seem uh to lead to them not really wanting to be here anymore to have to deal with that.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to mention two other mediums that influence our kids strongly, uh, which is anime and music.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh both are uh things that our kids are pretty much immersed in every single day, and both can be really excellent forms of uh entertainment, but both also can glorify suicide and put thoughts in our kids' head.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh often have kids in my office talk about a rapper or a music off uh artist who talks about like uh suicide in a positive way, or an anime character they love who also talked about suicide positively.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we have to be careful what we let our kids listen to or watch.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the ultimate impact of all these issues, the LGBTQ issues, dangerous trends, godlessness, inappropriate social media interactions, are that they lead to an internal struggle for our kids and leads to lies to cover up what they are doing and going through.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: It creates separation from those they love, uh, parents, family, God.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: It creates the feeling of being alone and like they have to figure it all out by themselves.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Which leads to uh the parents' role and influence that that we have.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: Uh our job as parents is really, really hard.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Uh often our kids don't really want to spend time with us or want to uh talk to us, but uh the parent-child relationship quality really does matter.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh our kids need to have strong enough sense of self and strong moral and ethical uh codes so that they can set boundaries and make good decisions, especially faced with all these really tough things that I talked about today.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they're going to gain their sense of uh self and moral and ethical codes somewhere.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Might as well be with us as the parents.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: What I see in my office is a trend that parents seem to be giving away their power more and more, which leads kids uh gaining this sense of self and moral and ethical codes from other influences.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we need to take our power back.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh family time has become a thing of the past, uh, but we we need to bring it back.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: We've allowed our kids to just sit around, play video games, uh, watching videos, uh, but we need to get them involved.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they need to be in sports, theater, clubs, church, uh, be out there, be involved.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, we've gotten away from bringing God into our uh daily lives at home and need to reverse that trend.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the kids I see in my office that are suicidal or severely uh depressed usually don't have a strong family connection.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have a strong connection to activities or peers, and they don't have a strong connection to God.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So all these are areas that we can do better at uh to help our kids uh be influenced in a positive way.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Troy.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: That was helpful, and now you got to get that out of the way and take a deep breath over there.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: I am Melissa Gossard, as Connie was saying, and I just want to commend every single one of you for showing up tonight.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, take a minute, a half a second to uh look at your neighbor or somebody nearby and say, great job showing up tonight.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you too.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Good job.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: I I wanna I'm I'm sincere in that.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know we're chuckling a little bit, but I'm really sincere in that because showing up is the first step, right?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Um even if your kid is not struggling with anxiety and depression, somebody in your life is.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: There's a kid in your circle, whether you know it or not, that is battling.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: And the battles are real, and as Troy just said, they can be devastating.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um so thanks for being here.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just praising God tonight that our church uh responded to um the death of our um family or uh church member in such a powerful way, in a meaningful way, because I think it's just critical that we come alongside each other and open the gates to have these conversations more.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_02: So thanks for being here.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh we know that anxiety and depression are truly the two top diagnoses that we see.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: In my own professional life, anxiety is the number one referral for that I see students for, for children for.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um and when we really take a look at our society and what's going on, why wouldn't it be?
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, truly.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like we look around and we see our world rapidly changing.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, in my 45 years, I I can't keep up most days.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: And our kids feel that.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: We have a pandemic that's still looming, right?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's they are feeling and they're noticing.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we're more distracted than ever.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: We have more information at our fingertips to be more connected, but we're the less connected, the most the least connected generation, right?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: We're losing that connection that Troy was talking about in the family, but yet we're so connected in ways that we've never been able to be connected before.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: So there's this real conflict there about connection.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um and then we have massive divides in our politics, right?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_02: And even within the church, sadly, we have or we're seeing that.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_02: And and our kids notice that and they feel that.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: And we can, I know most of us try really hard to protect our kids from a lot of those things, but I want to, I'm, and anything, please know that anything I'm saying to you, I'm working through every single day of my life.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I mean, none of us are up here saying that we've got this all figured out.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: Everything I'm saying to you, I'm having to practice, and God is walking me through it as a parent myself.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: But one of the things that's really important to know is that those conversations that we think we're having in private, or the news that we thought was on for just a little bit and then we eventually turned it off, right?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: Or the the phone call that we took with the person that's really struggling and needed to talk about something really serious that we didn't think our child heard, oftentimes kids are hearing that.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: They're hearing it far more than we give them credit for hearing.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: And what happens is they take bits and pieces of that information that's very fragmented, and they create a narrative in their brain that is completely untrue.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_02: But they take that narrative and then they sit with it and they stir with it and then they add to it and they take away from it, and then that really contributes to a lot of it, can really contribute to a lot of anxiety.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: So just having us to be aware of that is really important as we try to come alongside kids that are struggling.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'd like to go over here in a little bit just the differences between situational anxiety and depression and then clinical anxiety and depression, because there are some real differences that I think has has been helpful in my professional field and then also just as a mother.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um and before I do that, I I just want to say that just remember that some level of anxiety is actually really normal.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: There's some really good stress that we can experience that pushes us and motivates us to accomplish great things.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: If we had the time to share tonight about different things that you've been successful at, I would bet that most of you would say there was some level of real anxiety and stress that you had to work through, right?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_02: So some of the anxiety, it gets a really bad rap, but some anxiety is actually really healthy.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And we want our kids to know that so that they don't instantly hear the word um and feel paralyzed by it.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: Because it doesn't, it doesn't always have to be a negative thing.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um we know that all people, all of us, experience some level of anxiety and just sadness, feeling down in our lives.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um and you know, we look to the Bible and there's it's full of examples, right?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: We know that there's big struggles for people like David and Daniel and even Jesus.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: They didn't, they didn't necessarily call it depression and anxiety, right?
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_02: But there was true angst and real internal emotional and mental conflict that they were experiencing as they called out to the Lord.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um there are tons of strict uh scriptures that tell us not to be anxious, to trust in the Lord, to remember that he is our strong tower and our refuge, and that we need to run to him.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I believe with every fiber of my being, encouraging our children to develop a deep dependence and trust in the Lord is a wonderful way of coping with anxiety and depression.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: It is, he is, as I think Connie said, he is our great healer, he is the counselor of all counselors, right?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: So we want to push them, um, not push in a negative sense, but we want to encourage that and foster that and remind them of that.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that A, it's okay.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: People are going, you're going to feel anxious, you're going to have things in your life.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus said it, in this world we're going to have trouble, but take hard, I've overcome the world.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: We want to lead them to the hope that Christ offers us, but we also want them to know that when they battle these things, they're not alone.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: And some of it is really normal, right?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's how we guide them and how we lead them through that that really matters.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I will say that as much as that deep relationship with Christ matters for our mental health and well-being, I just want to caution you that we don't want to send a message to children that sends a message of shame, that their anxiety and depression is a lack of faith or a lack of trust in the Lord.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: I've worked with countless kids over the years, and the ones that have a faith, I mean they want to trust, right?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_02: People don't enter into those, children don't enter into those difficult spaces because they want to be there, because it feels pleasant, right?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: Normally it's very miserable, it's very uncomfortable.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: And we want to remind ourselves that yes, tr sometimes it can be a lack of faith, right?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm 45, and I'll just tell you, I'm still working daily on trusting in the Lord.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Can anybody give an amen to that?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: Amen, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we're we're on this journey with Christ, and that journey and timeline looks different for all of us.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so we want to honor that, their journey and their timeline, and make sure that we're not shaming them when they hit these struggles, to say this is a lack of faith or you're just not trusting enough.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, oftentimes there's a lot of underlying things that are causing them to struggle in that way.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um so situational anxiety and depression, this is what it says in the title.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: It's a situation or a circumstance that causes worry, sadness, feelings of being lost.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: These feelings are very real.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: They can be very challenging for our children.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: And some examples might be a family move.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: It might be a school presentation or a school performance or a test.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: Can be conflict with friends, right?
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: Just big struggles with having a falling out with their peers, a temporary illness, a change in their life schedule.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Situational anxiety and depression often happens where after the situation or the circumstance has been somewhat rectified, you start to see them move through this anxiety and depression.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: This is really real really normal.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm sure all of us can talk about different times when we've been through some kind of loss and had some situational anxiety or depression.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: And we need to, again, let them know that this is normal.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_02: We're certainly not sending the message for them to stay in that place, but we want to help them to know that most human beings are going to go through some situational anxiety or depression.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Clinical anxiety and depression, on the other hand, is a little bit different in the sense that most counselors and therapists we think in terms of duration, intensity, and frequency of the symptoms that they're exhibiting or struggling with, or the behaviors, if you will, with a child.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: And this is where a child's experiencing intense feelings of worry, fear, sadness that seem sometimes to just come out of nowhere.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: It can be rooted to back, it can be rooted in past trauma, even genetics, traumatic events, physical health struggles, undiagnosed physical issues that maybe even the family are unaware of at the time.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: These feelings are completely overwhelming to them.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's not even tied to an actual event or situation.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: It lasts well beyond, if there is a trigger triggering situation, it lasts well beyond that.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: And it feels like every effort that's made is not helping.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_02: It sometimes feels impossible to manage as a caretaker.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: If you're the parent or the grandparent or, you know, whoever's caretaking, you feel like you've tried to manage it, you're continuing to come up with ideas, you're trying all the things, and it just continues to feel impossible, like you're not making any gains.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: You're not seeing that intensity, duration, and frequency reduce in any way.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: It causes major life distractions, we're or disruptions.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_02: We're looking for major life activities.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: School would be one, right?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_02: Church, things that they once enjoyed, they're not able to participate in.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: When we start to see a child that maybe, you know, situational depression anxiety, maybe it's been hard to come to school for a couple of days, right?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: And we we we pile together, you know, and we come up with ideas, we pray through that, we give some suggestions, and then they come back.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, clinical can be where that child is not able to go for weeks or months.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: And the fear is really, really led to a lot of irrational thinking, sometimes even paranoid thinking, intrusive thoughts that just really, even obsessive thoughts that really start to feel very inescapable.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um so behaviors like that, symptoms like that, those are times when we probably need to think about more of a clinical approach.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, the other thing to think about too, when you're thinking about the differences there, is to think about what it's doing to your relationships.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, if it's wearing your relationships out, if your relationships feel weakened by the second, whether it's escalating the relationships to a lot of severe conflict, then that's probably a time to say, okay, this is maybe beyond what we can do.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_02: This might mean we need something, um, somebody with more just a neutral place.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: I do want to encourage you to involve the school if at all possible.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Um, being on the school side, I worked inpatient for two years at a children's, well, it was um a psychiatric hospital that had um children and adults, but I worked um primarily on the uh children's unit.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then I worked in an outpatient setting.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I moved into the school setting because while I loved that and I value the people that are in that in the trenches every day with that, I valued, I saw the goodness and the value in being in the a little bit more of a proactive stage and an earlier uh place to enter into that.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I just want to encourage you to involve the school if you feel like there's a safe relationship there.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: By no means am I advocating for that if if you don't have safe relationships there.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, no one wants to go for help if it's not safe.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: But if you have some safe relationships with teachers, with even a substitute, with counselors, with principals, go to them, seek them out.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: Our children spend more time often in a week at their school than they do with waking hours sometimes with their caregivers.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: And while the educators don't know your kids the way you do because you're their people, I would also say that oftentimes good educators they know your kids in ways that you don't always know them because they spend such a unique amount of time with them.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: I was just consulting with a clinical therapist who does individual therapy similar to Troy, and she was talking about, she was trying to empower teachers and she was talking about how significant that is.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: So just collaborating with them, gaining some information, you know, even running it by them and saying, hey, this is what we're seeing at home.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: Can you give some insight?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: Are you seeing the same behaviors?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: Do you see any patterns there?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because this is kind of what we're dealing with here, and collectively gathering that information, even if you do need to take it to the um an outside therapist, that can be really helpful to them when they enter into that relationship with the helping relationship with the child.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um I want to talk about, close out with three different strategies for coming alongside our children as both a preventative measure to prevent some anxiety and depression, and then also as a responsive, some responsive strategies in case your child is dealing with some anxiety and depression.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: The first one is mindfulness.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: This is all about knowing thyself.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: This is when we look to Psalm 139 and we see David calling out to God to say, search my heart and test my thought, Lord, thoughts, Lord.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_02: Now we know he's asking him to reflect and point out the sins that he's struggling with, but I think this is an excellent example of mindfulness to say we have to pay attention to what we are bringing to the relationship.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Mindfulness is about knowing that every single one of us has a history.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: We have a history.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_02: None of us were born into perfect families.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: We all have dysfunction because of the fall, because of genetic things, and so forth.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: And so when we become mindful about our own histories, we're better able to help our young people.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: Because without fail, our histories interfere with our own kids' struggles.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_02: They just do.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: It stinks, right?
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: It it just happened to me like two days ago.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it's not fun.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: But when we become mindful, we're able to then enter into a place that we can truly be available to them.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, wouldn't we all love to be the perfect parent?
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I certainly would, but it it doesn't exist.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: But if we can change the thought of having to have high expectations of being the perfect parent and instead change the language to being a mindful parent, that creates tons of healing.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: That in itself, when we just get curious and say, you know what, I just completely overreacted.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_02: Why did I just react that way?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Is that is that because of my own history, right?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_02: Is that because of, oh yeah, I have that issue with my mom and I remember this and I remember that, right?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_02: When we get curious about ourselves and we're promoting mental health for them.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_02: So again, walking away with I don't need to be the perfect parent, I just need to be the mindful and the connected parent, which we'll talk about connection here in a little bit.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um and if you, I'll I'll go back a little bit to the mindfulness.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: If you struggle with depression and anxiety, then just owning that, right?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_02: You don't need to give your child all the details of your struggles, okay, because they can only handle so much.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: But if you struggle a little bit with that and your history just interfered with helping them, just own that.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: Acknowledge that.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: So they say, oh, okay, okay, my mom, my mom wasn't shaming me or that mad at me.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: It was that she got triggered.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: She got triggered about something else, and that wasn't about me, right?
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_02: Just having an honest conversation with our kids as they're developmentally able to do can be extremely helpful.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: The next strategy, number two, would be to um promote empower empowerment.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_02: We want to empower our kids.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_02: We want to set them up for success every single day so that when they do hit the stumbling roadblocks of life, right, when their pet dies, when they get in a conflict with their friends, right, when they get in trouble at school, whatever it might be, we want to say, I'm trying my best to empower you to be at your most emotional wellness possible.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: And we do this by their nutrition, their hydration, paying attention to their blood sugar.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: On average, kids should be eating around every two to three hours.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: Think about the old joke, all the jokes about hangry.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting hangry, right?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's that's a that's a funny joke, but it's real.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Our blood sugars dip if we're dehydrated.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: We're not able to manage our moods in the way that we're able that we can when we've actually taken care of those basic needs.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: Sleep, right?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, those of us that are, you know, been up in the middle of the night with kids and sleep deprived many nights in a row, my goodness, I mean, do we handle and cope well with life?
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: No, I'll just say no for myself.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: Um, sleep is so critical.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_02: And like what Troy was talking about, the screens are really dominating and overpowering their sleep schedules.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_02: My recommendation is that kids don't go to their their rooms with the phone with the phone.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, they don't go to their rooms with the tablet, right?
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Because that thing is dinging and blinking and doing all kinds of things through the night.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: I uh surveyed some kids about two years ago with the whole screen thing and asked them how many hours they're getting of sleep a night, and most of them were saying two to three maximum four of solid hours per night.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_02: Because that there were a couple other reasons, but the number one reason was their phone.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: FOMO, which stands for fear of missing out, they don't want to fully go to sleep because what if they're gonna miss out something that's being buzzed and talked about and dropped on social media, right?
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_02: So protecting those things empowers them to cope with life better.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: Structure and predictability.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, kids that struggle with anxiety and depression, they need to know what's coming.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: Give them a sense of predictability, give them a sense of structure.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not talking about rigidity, because that can actually create anxiety.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: That can create more anxiety, but we want to we wanna help make sure that they are prepared for the day as much as we physically can help prepare them.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes giving them a sensory reset, this is something as simple as getting outdoors, right?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_02: Putting something different in your hands, putting your hands in the grass, right?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, creating something with your hands.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter if it's a mud pie or if it's a beautiful piece of artwork, um, just deep massage.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: There's lots of things.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_02: Toss a ball with them, cross their midline.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: There's so many different things that you can do to just kind of shift the neural pathways.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_02: And sensory input is a really important one, especially because of all the screen time that they're taking in.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because that's one sense of sensory, and sometimes it's overloaded.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so we need to change the scenery and the sensory input.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and the last part of empowerment is to just really encourage them to be in the word.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, excessive fear and anxiety and depression is often full of lies that we have bought in that then creates our belief system, right?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um we we we can combat this, we can help them to combat it by helping them to know God's word, right?
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't solve it all, but it helps steer them in the right way.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: And that goes back to what Troy was saying with the self-worth is that when they have the word of God embedded in their souls and in their minds, and they're memorizing that and they know that, then they have truth to combat the lies that come.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_02: Last strategy is connection.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, there is loads and loads of research out there on what connection does as far as how it strengthens, physically strengthens neural pathways in our brains.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um, isolization is so dangerous.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: And when we have an attachment figure, and it does not have to be, you know, your day-to-day parent, it can be somebody that a child just has a good, strong relationship, a healthy relationship.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: When that attachment figure comes along and works to connect with the child, it is one of the most powerful ways to calm the nervous system.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: When the nervous system is calm, then they're able to operate out of their top, what we call the top brain.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_02: Top brain functioning is where we problem solve, it's where we have critical thinking, it's where we think logically, right?
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_02: Our bottom brains are all about survival.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: When a child is incredibly anxious and even fighting some depression, they're living most of their life out at those times in their bottom brains.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: When we as the caretakers or that mentor comes along and we connect with them, that calms the bottom brain and helps the bottom brain and the top brain work together.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_02: And then they're ready to hear all of our ideas.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: If we go to them when they're super anxious, right, and try to give them all the ideas, they're not ready to hear it because they're still in their bottom brain.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: So connecting with them creates safety.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: When somebody feels safe, the nervous system calms, and then we can start strategizing with them.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_02: Then we can start giving them ideas.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_02: Some easy ways that I know you're already doing, so pat yourself on the back when I list something out that you do with your with young people to connect with them is handshakes, fist bumps, deep pressure hugs, right?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, high fives.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_02: Play and laugh with them, right?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: There is a direct connection.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: The language of a child is play.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: That is their language, that's how they're developing all the time.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_02: So every time we play with a child, we're connecting with them.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: Every time you connect with them, you're creating neural pathways in the brain.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_02: If there's been past trauma, those that connection helps heal.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: It literally creates new neural pathways, which strengthens the brain.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when they are feeling anxious and you're trying to connect, very few words.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: Very few words.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: It is not the time to go into lecture mode.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_02: Very short and keep it nice and brief.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_02: Provide reflective feedback.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_02: I see that you seem like you're feeling a little bit angry.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: You seem a little bit off today.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_02: Ask questions, get curious.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_02: I always think about the saying that I was trained in be curious and not critical.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: Curiosity opens the top brain up and helps them to engage in what you want to say to them.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_02: Notice the child doing things well.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um be authentic in what authentic in what you're noticing.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_02: Kids that are really anxious, especially if they have trauma backgrounds, they have like amazing radars for when we throw out a compliment that we really don't mean.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you it doesn't take people that work around children, I mean, somebody that just says, Oh, you did a great job on that, when really they actually didn't do a great job and they know that.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_02: Those kind of that kind of feedback does not build them.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't remind them of who they are in Christ, right?
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_02: But if we're specific and intentional about what we notice in them, what we see their effort in, not always their performance, right?
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: We see their effort and that they got back up and that they didn't give up, we notice those good things.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_02: That can be a great way of connecting and helping you to be a safe person for them.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: Praying with them, praying for them, asking questions about what can I pray for you about, right?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: What's on your prayer request today?
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_02: Who do you want to pray for in your life?
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_02: What are some things that I can pray specifically today?
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_02: Just telling your kids, you know what, when I'm in my car, there's hardly a time in my life that I'm not thinking about you and loving you and wanting well, wanting you to be well.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: What's something I can pray for you about today as I'm just going through my day, right?
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and then the last thing is to just provide tasks that give them purpose, right?
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: We all were created for purpose.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oftentimes depression and anxiety is when we're so stuck inside of our own head that we've forgotten that we were made beyond ourselves, for beyond ourselves.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_02: We were made to glorify God, right?
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_02: We were made to do things bigger than just ourselves.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: And when we give them a task and a purpose, that helps them to get outside of that brain that that kind of we're stuck inside of our own heads.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um so we all need purpose.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: I think just remembering to connect, the three things that I would encourage you to focus on are the mindfulness, the empowering.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: How can we empower our kids, and then how can we connect with them to help them to feel safe and help calm them?
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_02: And when in doubt, ask for help, right?
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't know anybody who's authentic and real that doesn't have somebody in their life that's not struggled with these things.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and the more that we encourage each other and the more that we know that we're not alone, the better off we're all going to be.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: So stay mindful and stay connected.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you both for um introducing this whole thing because I'm now well prepared and I feel like a lot of stuff you've covered, so I don't have to speak for very long.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just kidding.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um thank you all for being here.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: Um it's so great to see so many parents out here who are interested in their well-being of their child or their teenager, um, or if you're here to support someone else who has kids, that's great too.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this information is so valuable.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: Everything that Troy and Melissa have shared.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_03: Uh it's a lot of information, so I know that you've probably been blasted with a bunch of stuff, and you're like, where do I start?
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um so I'm gonna touch on some things that I think have been valuable for me as a as a school counselor that Melissa brought up about empowerment, um, but specifically a tool that I think is really quite underrated and could be very easy to use, and it's uh validation.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um instead of being the parent that wants to fix things and solve things, which I know that's so natural for us to want to do.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: I have three little kids and I want to constantly just help them and do what help, you know, do what they need, or give them what they need, I'm sorry.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: So it can be really hard to step back and allow your teenager or your child to have the feelings and emotions that they have without wanting to step in and criticize or or fix it or do something about it.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm gonna read the definition of validation and I'm gonna read it twice because I think sometimes it sinks in when you hear it more than once.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: So um validation, it is the recognition and acceptance that your child or your teenager has feelings and thoughts that are true and real to him or her, regardless of whether it makes sense to anyone else.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_03: So again, it it's the recognition and acceptance that your child or teen has feelings and thoughts that are true and real to him or her, regardless of whether it makes sense to anyone else.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_03: The the reality of your teenager's situation is true to them.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: So by validating their thoughts and feelings, it gives them the ability to share those thoughts and feelings with you.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_03: One, and two, give them a safe, trustworthy space to do that with you.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_03: It develops their own sense of self-worth so they feel like they can come to you about you know topics that may not be comfortable or easy to talk about, um, things that you know have really been of concern before and don't know how to address.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_03: So there are ways that validation can be really, really powerful.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: Um, that's a lot of what I what comes through my door, is a lot of times kids just want someone to hear them.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_03: Uh with whatever's going on in their life, they they feel like they have really not been heard.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: And and you can say, Well, I listened to my kid, I I I understand what they're going through, and but do you listen and take it in without offering your advice, which is again our instinct because we want to do that, or offer criticism because we're upset with what they are telling us, or um you know, reacting, and it's hard to not react.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so by practicing the validation, um saying, I hear you, I'm so sorry that you're going through that.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_03: I I had no clue that you were dealing with this.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_03: I think that those statements can be really powerful.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and it and it gives your your child more will to talk to you about what they're going through, what they're experiencing.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um I I think as what Melissa had said as well earlier, that validation isn't always um, you know, cheering on your on your child.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_03: You can have a really rough game, or your child can have a really rough game and they can say, I played horrible, I did awful.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I think our instinct is, oh no, you didn't, you played great.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: And that's dismissing how they feel.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_03: So even those those little remarks and things I know we want to be encouraging, but those uh dismiss what they are feeling in that moment.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_03: To them, they played terrible in their sport or they played horrible in their band concert, whatever the case may be.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_03: So by just accepting what they're saying, hearing it, and not Reacting.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's so hard, but it's a really powerful tool that I think can be used over and over again, and it allows open discussion and conversation amongst you and your teenager a lot more often.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: Another thing that I would like to talk about too is a Seven Cups.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_03: And this is an app that has been created through Family Service and Guidance Center.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's an app that a teenager can download.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: And here I'm saying, download an app and be on your phone, as they're both saying stay away from the social media and the phones.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_03: But it's an app that is run through Family Service and Guidance Center.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's called Seven Cups.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's 24-7 access to text support or call support.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: So students can at any time go through the app if they're in the middle of a struggle, a crisis, just need someone to talk to.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_03: I have little cards that I brought.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_03: They're in the back of the room if you would like to grab one.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: But there's it's a great resource that I think could be also be really, really helpful too.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, I didn't want to take up a whole bunch of time because I know we have questions too.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I might add.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: What Brooke just said about the social media piece and the apps and so forth, uh, I I don't I think Troy would share in this sentiment.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: I am not anti-social media.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think he would agree, correct?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and we're not anti-screens.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_02: I know that there are some people that are, and if that's your conviction from the Lord, then stay strong in that conviction.
• 45:40
  SPEAKER_02: But I will tell you that there is a time and a place where children are eventually going to grow up and leave our care, and they're going to have to figure out how to navigate this world of technology that we live in.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_02: And so coming alongside them and seeing and teaching them that there is there are great things that can be learned, and um, you know, God can use these these technology uh forums in a positive way.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: They can be tools, they can be positive.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um so I I hope that I didn't send that message.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_02: I just think we I think we're just saying just to be caution, just to have caution with those.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_04: So awesome.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you so much.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_04: So what yeah, hang on to that.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_04: So what we're gonna do is I have some frequently asked questions, if you will, that these guys have seen come across their offices.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_04: So um I was gonna ask a few of those, but I want you guys to be thinking right now, if you have some questions yourself that you would like to ask, in just a couple minutes, we'll open this up and give you an opportunity to uh to ask them, and then we'll close.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_04: And um I spoke with all three of them before we started tonight, and they're um gonna hang around a little bit after this is over.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_04: So if you'd like to talk with them, if you have something maybe that you're not wanting to ask um in front of everyone, but you want to speak with them, they are gonna uh graciously hang around for a little bit afterwards and would speak to you then as well.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_04: So I just want to give you kind of a heads up on how we're gonna wrap things up here.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_04: Um but one of the questions that um was asked, uh Troy, I'll start with you.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_04: What are the risk factors for someone that can lead to depression or anxiety?
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh well, there's a lot of factors.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just mention some.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh family history of depression or anxiety uh is a big one, especially if uh the child lives with somebody who is anxious or depressed, it definitely uh is more common uh for them to then also uh have anxiety or depression.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh if there's a history of suicide in the family, uh it doesn't even have to be somebody that it they were really, really close to, uh just the knowing uh that somebody is uh has committed suicide in the family is a risk factor.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh trauma, which could be sexual or physical abuse, uh significant loss of a loved one, could even be a pet.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and then the anniversaries of those traumas, uh, because every single year uh that those dates come back up, it's very, very intense.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and for some people it can be even worse than the the initial loss or or abuse.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh lack of activities uh or social network uh is a risk, risk factor.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because if people aren't involved, uh kids aren't involved, they don't have uh kids that they're hanging out with.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_00: Online friends, I know is a big thing right now, um, and kids will say that's their network.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's not the same as being in person.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh kids need to be out and be in person.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh if there's bullying or being torn down by uh peers or family members uh is a risk factor.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: If they're struggling with uh sexual orientation, uh because then they're gonna be questioning uh where do they fit in, uh who they are, and a lack of faith uh in God uh creates uh no hope, no purpose.
• 49:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or those are at least some of the risk factors.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so I kind of shared with you guys after a long-term sub job that I did this last spring that um, you know, I asked a question in a psychology class that, you know, how many of you know someone either have felt depression or anxiety yourselves, or know someone who has, and all of their hands went up.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_04: And so this is kind of in that um same vein of uh when you're when your child comes home and maybe they're withdrawn, or you can tell that they're dealing with something, and you are searching for ways to speak to them.
• 49:49
  SPEAKER_04: And Broca might ask you this because you're in the at the secondary level and that's where I was at.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_04: But I'm kind of wrestling with how to word this a little bit, both as a parent and maybe as a student, when you, especially after this last year, when you're surrounded by people that you perceive to be in at least a funk, kind of Melissa, like what you were talking about, the anxiety, their situational anxiety, but this thing was like 18 months long, you know.
• 50:19
  SPEAKER_04: And so um maybe you could just give some suggestions for how to even engage in conversation with with that with that high school student or that middle school student who might be a little more emotionally um mature, you know, in recognizing the hurt and pain around them, um and and you know, maybe encouraged not to take it on or how to navigate through that.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_04: I you know what I'm am I making sense?
• 50:47
  SPEAKER_04: I think so.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, thanks for that vote of confidence.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_04: Sometimes I make sense.
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, um, I I definitely think a lot of times what what happens at high school as well is I'll get a referral from a teacher.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, I haven't seen this kid for a couple of days, or hey, when they've usually the student greets me when they come into my classroom, and the past couple of times I've seen them, they've really been disconnected.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, can you check in with them?
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_03: So a lot of times it's teachers who will recognize things, which is great.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, friends will also come in.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm really worried about my my best friend.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, this is going on in their life.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_03: So change in in um their demeanor, I think, is one main thing that a lot of a lot of teachers and and parents and friends look for.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_03: Is are they uh more irritable?
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_03: Are they um standoffish compared to what they're normally, what their normal behavior is like?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_03: Are they um losing their motivation?
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_03: Are they not turning assignments in?
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_03: Are they letting things that they used to be passionate about um fall to the wayside?
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I think those are some major kind of identifiers of is their behavior different?
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_03: And if it is, then it needs to be addressed maybe in a way that's um gentle.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've noticed this about you.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_03: Can you tell me what's going on and approach it that way?
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think would be good.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_04: Great, thank you.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so uh Melissa, I'm gonna ask you this question, but I I ask it with a little bit of fear and trembling.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_04: And my I mean, my kids are grown, so I don't have to worry about this at all.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_04: But um, so how do you set boundaries for your kids with the phones and all of that without them running away from home and hating you?
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, I mean, I've heard that with other people raising their children, not mine, but you know what I'm saying?
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_04: Like, because it's it's obviously very important, and and kids are getting phones younger and younger and younger, which is putting that you know, that palm-sized computer in their hand younger and younger and younger, and the sexting is starting younger and all of that.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_04: So, how do you how how would you suggest um those boundaries and communicating them?
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, this is, you know, I was talking earlier about connection and attachment figures and how important attachment um figures, connection is to a child to help calm them, right?
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_02: To help get to their top brain so that you can speak truth into them.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um what's happening, um, and if we're being honest, even as adults, we're experiencing this, the phone has become the attachment.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_02: The phone has taken the place of the attachment figure in some situations, or the iPad for younger years, younger children, and so forth.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so um I don't have a perfect answer for this.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_02: I'm navigating this myself, and I just will tell you as a parent, I fail more than I, you know, care to think about.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_02: But it is incredibly important to set boundaries.
• 53:51
  SPEAKER_02: If we don't set the boundary, we see things like, and I'm sure Troy and Brooke can share, you know, stories about this, that when the boundary is forced to be set, right?
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_02: We know I can think of a story where um the child uh the police were called because the phone was taken away by the caretaker, and the child absolutely became so volatile and suicidal and homicidal.
• 54:19
  SPEAKER_02: And as they as the police navigated what in the world had happened, it was because the parent said, hand me your phone.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_02: When that extreme response is happening, we know that the attachment has become the phone.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_02: So first of all, I think it starts with just saying and remembering boundaries are good, right?
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_02: God is a God of boundaries.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_02: He says yes to us and he says no to us for our good, right?
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_02: So just remembering that saying no sometimes is one of the healthiest things that we can do to our kids.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_02: At the same time, we're trying to respect and honor the fact of the matter, the way I see it is this is the world they're living in.
• 55:01
  SPEAKER_02: And it is the way that they see how to connect with other human beings.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_02: So we're trying to respect that and find some kind of compromise with them.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_02: If if we're seeing a child become less and less engaged in the family or with actual friends in person, like they were saying, then that's oftentimes a sign to say, and I just phrase it as let's just take a break, right?
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_02: Let's just take a break.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I've even had to do it myself.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_02: My husband and I talk about it.
• 55:31
  SPEAKER_02: There's just times that I've just gotten off Facebook.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_02: I've just taken a break, right?
• 55:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm seeing more and more people do that.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_02: They even post, like, hey, just taking a small break from this, need to kind of refocus, re-re-connect with some different things in my life and so forth.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'll hopefully, you know, I'll be back.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_02: Or here's my cell phone if you need to contact me.
• 55:49
  SPEAKER_02: So just encouraging our kids, it's not a yanking necessarily, because that's gonna really probably trigger a pretty harsh response back, but more of a, hey, I just think this would be wise to take a break, be willing to even take a break with them in some capacity, right?
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: Say, you know what, I struggle with this.
• 56:07
  SPEAKER_02: I have been on my phone too much today or the last week, right?
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think I'm gonna take a break here.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_02: Where's an area that you could take a break?
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's a challenge.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's like I said, I I don't have a perfect formula to it, but I do think it's important to say um, to be mindful and attuned to when the break needs to happen, if there's an overattachment to it, and then just encouraging them to take a break and be curious with them after the break so that they can reflect on what it was like to take a break.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_02: I uh um my girlfriends and I, we have a mutual friend who her son, back back when her son, I don't know if I don't know how similar the ages are, but back when her son was in junior high, it was this big pressure to have Facebook.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_02: And there was no, there were no other, that was kind of the main social media app.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_02: And she had said no and said no and said no, and the child had kind of basically talked her into saying, you know, but it's like what my friends are doing.
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_02: Can I please just try it?
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_02: And so they tried it, and it was going fairly well, and she had monitored it, and she felt like they had some good boundaries with it and so forth.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_02: And then all of a sudden, there was a major social conflict that happened, and it was all being fed in through Facebook.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_02: And she found out about that, it was worsening because of the social media app.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_02: And she just said, It's time to take a break.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_02: We got to pull back.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, your dad and I need to reevaluate this.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and he was the child was so mad, he honored their request or their directive, and after the fact came back to her after being super mad and said, Thank you so much for making me get off of that.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_02: I did not realize how enmeshed and stuck in all that mess I had gotten.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so I think most of the kids, most of the time, they want the break.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's just they need us to kind of come alongside them.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_04: I think that's a great point too.
• 57:59
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I know as an adult, when I take a break from that stuff, you don't realize how toxic it can get until you step out of it for a little while, and then you're like, wow, that was crazy.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_04: So, Brooke, I'm gonna ask you a question and then I'm I've got a follow-up for you, Troy, on on the suicide piece.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_04: So, um, Brooke, could you speak to the myths uh and the facts surrounding maybe our understanding of suicide, especially as it relates to children?
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think one of the main things that I want to say right off the bat is that uh talking about suicide isn't going to make your child want to commit suicide.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's actually gonna be more beneficial if you bring it up or ask the question are you suicidal?
• 58:44
  SPEAKER_03: Are you feeling suicidal?
• 58:45
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have suicidal thoughts?
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think um if we shy away from it, I think that's doing more harm than good.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_03: So one of those myths that out is that's out there is don't talk about it.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because if you don't talk about it, then it's not gonna happen, right?
• 58:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's that's not true at all.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um I and I think you both would probably say the same thing that talking about it definitely helps um get things um out that's been bottled up for so long.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_03: So um I think that's one of the main myths.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you guys have a a couple of others that you want to share too.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, sorry.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh the only other one that comes to mind is actually the three of us were talking about earlier is sometimes when a child will say uh something about having some suicidal ideation, and the parent or the teacher or somebody will say, Well, they're just trying to get attention.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's just attention-seeking behavior.
• 59:38
  SPEAKER_02: And my immediate response to that is, well, guess what?
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_02: They have my attention.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever sat in the funeral of someone who's committed suicide?
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_02: A child?
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_02: I have.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's terrible.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_02: We don't take chances on that.
• 59:51
  SPEAKER_02: The myth is sometimes we're believing, oh, they're just they're just wanting attention.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_02: The two response to that that I usually have is even if they have no intentions of acting on suicide, the fact that they would actually say, I want to kill myself for attention, suggest a need for help.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 1:00:13
  SPEAKER_02: So we always respond to that.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_02: It may be an attention-seeking behavior.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was um uh Brooke that was saying that sometimes they don't have the language, or maybe that was you, I can't remember.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, they don't always have the language to know how to say, I'm struggling and I need help.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_02: So they just say the most extreme thing that they can say in order to get the help, if that makes sense.
• 1:00:34
  unknown: That's all right.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_04: Great, thank you.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, so so Troy, let me ask you this.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_04: Um, what are steps that we can take when we know that our child is anxious and or depressed?
• 1:00:49
  SPEAKER_04: Like, what do we do?
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, first off, is this on now?
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um don't ignore the problem.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh often we want to sweep things under the rug, act like it's not important, uh, that it's not that big.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh everything is big as uh it's been stated now several uh different times.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh offer support, understanding, and compassion.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you don't need to think you have to have all the answers.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you you don't have to solve the problem uh or even give advice.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh sometimes just caring, listening, uh being non-judgmental uh gives all the understanding needed in that situation.
• 1:01:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh if they're talking through uh their thoughts, uh they're much, much less uh there's much less chance of them to act on them.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's the people who aren't talking about them that that it are the ones we worry about.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um Brooke just mentioned about uh use the word suicide.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's the second one that I had written down, uh, because uh we think that we have to skirt around the issue.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to skirt around the issue, talk about it very directly um and and see what their true thoughts are.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_00: Avoiding it is gonna make them probably avoid sharing more.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um remove any lethal weapons uh from your home, uh such as guns, uh lock up pills, uh be aware of uh location of like kitchen utensils, like knives uh or ropes, uh, because all those can be used to uh harm harm themselves.
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_00: Uh get professional help.
• 1:02:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh teen at risk uh really needs professional help.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we want to help as parents, we want to guide them, uh, we should be supportive and caring and be talking to them, but a professional has dealt with it for years and years and has uh research and training and things that they might be able to offer that uh a parent uh just isn't able to.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um and even if like the immediate crisis is over, don't think the problems over.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because they might not be talking about anymore or say, you know, I'm I'm good.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but the thoughts were there from probably an extended uh situation uh that was happening in their life.
• 1:03:09
  SPEAKER_00: So still go get them help, even if you think, oh, the situation has passed.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_00: Uh call Hotline if needed.
• 1:03:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's 24-hour services out there.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, Family Service and Guidance Center has uh a 24-hour service that you can utilize.
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um and don't be afraid to take them there.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because I mean, the last thing we want to do is go and attend a child's funeral.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, like Melissa was saying, that is the worst thing that we can.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's terrible.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever steps we have to take to get help for our kids, we need to be willing to take as parents.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, now I'm gonna ask one last question.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_04: This is my last question of the night, and it's open.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_04: It it's it's an all skate.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_04: So first one with mic to mouth wins.
• 1:03:58
  SPEAKER_04: All right, so um what would you say to parents who have children right now who are clearly anxious, if not dreading, the start of the school year?
• 1:04:11
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe they're already starting to hear mask, no mask, distance, no distance, and the the dialogues about you know, parents are frustrated, teachers are frustrated, all that's kind of infiltrating our lives again.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_04: So, how would you encourage parents to um communicate with their child in a way that helps them enter into this school year, particularly with the scenarios, the situations, as you mentioned, Melissa, that they're going to be facing?
• 1:04:43
  SPEAKER_04: So I'll I'll leave that to you and then we'll open it up to you guys.
• 1:04:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, the the first thing I think of is avoid telling them how they feel or how they should feel.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh let them do the leading on on the conversation of their true feelings, their true thoughts about what's going on, because often as parents, we want to make sure they understand how it's gonna be okay.
• 1:05:07
  SPEAKER_00: And and if you just do these things, you're gonna be okay.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: And and they think that that's not listening.
• 1:05:14
  SPEAKER_00: They think that we're already shutting them out before we even get started.
• 1:05:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so we just have to be very, very careful about telling them how to feel.
• 1:05:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have a oh go ahead.
• 1:05:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, I I I was just gonna add in there that um worrying about things that we don't have control of.
• 1:05:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um so if the decision is everyone has to wear a mask, uh it it's hard, and I know we all hate that, but we can't worry about it because that's what is, unfortunately.
• 1:05:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um so things that we have control of ourselves, that's what we focus on.
• 1:05:45
  SPEAKER_03: I go to school, I do my work, um, I you know, I communicate with my friends, I stay off social media, I do all these things that I have the control over, um, and try not to worry so much about what I don't.
• 1:05:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would agree.
• 1:05:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, if I I'm being honest, I am working through my own feelings of this, of anxiousness, because I'm in the schools and uh it it flipped our worlds upside down, right?
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, all of our worlds, and especially for children in the school setting.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so I've had to process this myself and try to start to prepare my own um spirit about this.
• 1:06:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I think one of the things that's really helpful to kind of reiterate what they're saying is to just feel it.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, a saying that when my husband and I were many, many years ago going through some hard times, um, one of the coined sayings that we used was fix it or feel it.
• 1:06:35
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we are coming to someone because we want them to fix it, and sometimes we just need somebody to feel it with us.
• 1:06:43
  SPEAKER_02: We just enter into that.
• 1:06:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's emotional attunement.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_02: And for our kids, helping them to just enter into it and just admit that, yeah, uh it is anxious.
• 1:06:53
  SPEAKER_02: It does cause some anxiety to think about having to go back into that again.
• 1:06:57
  SPEAKER_02: Then help them go back and think about what they survived through last year when they did have to go through mask and all the mask changes that we went through.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_02: Give them, that empowers people to say, okay, wait a minute.
• 1:07:10
  SPEAKER_02: Instead of stuck being stuck in my bottom brain of fear and of what if and playing the what if game, which is incredibly dangerous, right?
• 1:07:16
  SPEAKER_02: We go back and we say, okay, I am feeling really anxious about this.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to go back to the way things were.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_02: However, I remember that I have a really big God.
• 1:07:30
  SPEAKER_02: We have a really big God, and we persevered last year and we overcame things that we didn't even know we could overcome, right?
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_02: Go back and think, ask them, what did you think about when we first heard we were gonna wear a mask all day long at school?
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_02: That you were gonna play an entire basketball game with something strapped over your face.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_02: How did you think about that?
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_02: And that let them share and then say, but you did it.
• 1:07:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so proud of you, and we will be able to face this again if we have to, right?
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_02: Focusing on what we can control.
• 1:08:04
  SPEAKER_04: Awesome guys, thank you.
• 1:08:06
  SPEAKER_04: Does anybody else have a question?
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_04: We still have a few minutes.
• 1:08:11
  SPEAKER_04: Okay, well, let me go ahead and um pray over you guys.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_04: And then, like I said, our um speakers are gonna hang around for a little bit if you want to speak with them uh after this presentation.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_04: So if you would just go ahead and bow your heads with me.
• 1:08:25
  SPEAKER_04: Father God, we just thank you for this opportunity to learn a little bit about um uh how our brains work, how we handle trauma, anxiety, depression.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_04: There's so much of it in this world, Lord, and and we just want to be able to have your perspective on it because you are our goal, Lord.
• 1:08:46
  SPEAKER_04: This race that we're running, you are the finish line.
• 1:08:49
  SPEAKER_04: And so we want to keep our eyes fixed on you.
• 1:08:51
  SPEAKER_04: And I pray that you will help each parent here, uh every person that's a caregiver of a child or just uh knows someone who they want to be an encouragement to, that you will help them with the right words at the right times uh to diffuse situations, to bring encouragement and connection, empowerment, Lord, and and wisdom to know when to get the school counselor or the teacher or a professional involved.
• 1:09:18
  SPEAKER_04: Lord, it's just such a such a uh complicated situation when we're when we're dealing with people.
• 1:09:25
  SPEAKER_04: We're just kind of messy, but we thank you, God, that you've formed us and that you have a purpose for us, and that it is your heart's desire to lead us into an abundant life in you.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_04: So we just thank you for this time and ask you to just bless each family represented here tonight as they go out.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_04: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_04: Guys, would you give our panel a round of applause?
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_04: Thank them so much for uh being here tonight and for sharing with us.
• 1:09:53
  SPEAKER_04: And uh, like I said, you guys are free to go or to hang around for a few minutes if you would like to speak with them.
• 1:09:59
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you.