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Pregnant, No English, New Country: How Jamaica Became Home for 18 Years | Best of · Babes, how did you get here

• 0:00
  Welcome to a live elsewhere where we speak with people who have built lives beyond the
• 0:04
  airship. They have followed their intuition over convention and managed to carve out new paths
• 0:09
  in unfamiliar places. I am April Jackson and I'm speaking with Isis Valdes, a former loyal
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  whose journey takes us from Dominique Republic to Jamaica. She shows us the importance of living
• 0:21
  in the present moment rather than constantly focusing on the past. In this episode we talk about
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  what life is really like in Kingston. After she arrived here 18 years ago while
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  being three months pregnant and barely speaking any English. Her story touches on managing grief
• 0:37
  from afar and shows us that despite different nationalities people are more like than different.
• 0:43
  So Isis, you are from Dominique Republic? Yes. I would love to know how did you end up living in
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  Jamaica. Okay, so 18 years ago I was thinking that like oh my gosh I want like a change in my life.
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  You know I'm missing something like I never been living in a country outside of the Dominique
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  Republic and I thought you're thinking about it but I never spoke that with my husband.
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  Nobody you're thinking about it and guess what? A few months after my husband came and said to me
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  do you want to move to Jamaica and I said what? So he works for a fertilizer company,
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  first-san, you pours first-san Jamaica and they offer to him they open a plant here and they
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  open to him to move to Jamaica and I said yes here we go. So here I am. Had you visited before?
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  No, no, I came I moved in August 2007 and I came like three months before in May to see houses
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  but my first time in Jamaica it was 2007. When your husband comes home and he says do you want to move to
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  Jamaica? Did you have any ideas or impressions and expectations? Nothing. No, you didn't know anything
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  about Jamaica? Just but Marlene and the Reagan. Nothing nothing nothing. I said well you know
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  at that time we have Google so I start to type okay Kingston Life and guess what? The first things
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  were like the goats walking on the tree and I said what? Because in the Dominican Republic you see
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  that just in the countryside, now in the capital, in the Santo Domingo, it was so fun but I was
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  looking that we had a Jamaica frame in Jamaica. She was living in Jamaica so we spoke with her and she
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  talked to us about Jamaica and she told everything so so great food for that. So you moved to Jamaica
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  and at the time do you have any children? I had one, my oldest one, he was six years old at that time.
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  Okay, yeah. Were you worried in terms of his schooling? How you were going to have like
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  sure, sure, I was very worried and especially because you know I love Jamaica but when I start
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  typing things like like a safely come like maybe it's not a safe country, but guess what? Sometimes
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  I feel more safely in Jamaica than in the Dominican Republic because I don't know people
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  they're so friendly and I feel comfortable, that is no problem at all but yes I had that one,
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  not anymore. Okay, when your son came to school, he came to school in Jamaica with you?
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  Yeah, how did you pick which school he was going to go to? Okay, I had plenty option because
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  I'm my friend, my Jamaica friend, she told me education is great in Jamaica. So but I want
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  something international because as I said, as a Dominican in Jamaica, I want him to be more
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  involved with the international culture so I pick the international school because of that.
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  Before we continue, make sure that you join our community by clicking the link below. You will
• 3:54
  get to choose thumbnails before the episodes go live, pick our next destinations, even recommend
• 3:59
  guests. I really cannot wait for you to help me shape where this podcast goes. So you come to
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  Jamaica, you've settled in with your family and then what is your like day-to-day life?
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  Is it different in any way to how you are living in there? Yes, because let me tell you something,
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  I'm a lawyer. Okay. So in the Dominican Republic, I was working as a lawyer, you know that very
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  stressful job like in the court rooms. Okay, civil. Okay, civil. Like I was working with the bank,
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  if you have a credit with the bank, if you don't pay the bank, send me your case to me. Okay,
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  it was like a very stressful. Sure. So, moving to Jamaica, I was pregnant and we decided,
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  okay, I'm going to be at home, my housewife. Okay. What a change. Bogots what? I learned how to embrace
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  every stage of my life. So I said I was like going to the gym, dropping my kids to school,
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  then going to the gym, having a coffee with my friends. So I was like oh my gosh, floating.
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  Until one day I said it's no more, I need like a productive life. Okay. So I started doing
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  taking pictures because my son was playing football and I started taking pictures of him and
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  at the end, and I was doing a website for companies, calendar, and then I started to do events
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  in my house, hosting my friends and everybody started to ask me this is, but do I have a business?
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  And I said no, this is for fun, this is my hobby. No, please do it. So last year I started
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  as an events planner. Oh really? Doing very well, very well. And naturally doing that,
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  and enjoying it every moment. That's amazing. Wow. So when you look forward and you now have
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  your business, you have your children, do you foresee that you're going to stay in Jamaica?
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  Good question. Let me tell you, I'm going with the feeling. So because the main reason that we are
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  here is my husband, sure, his work. So now we are okay. We are here and everything
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  continues like that. Yes, we will be here. I don't know until when, but we are having a good time.
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  We have friends like they are like family in Jamaica. So yes, we are here and we don't have time
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  to move. Okay. What do you think is one of the most common misconceptions about life in Jamaica?
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  What do you think that perhaps someone who hasn't lived here or hasn't visited, they may think
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  your life looks like and it doesn't look like that? The security thing. Okay. Yeah, because
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  people say, oh, Jamaica is not safe. I don't think so because I feel very safe in Jamaica and
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  feel very comfortable. Okay, cool. I think I guess also speaking to that, grieving must be different,
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  right? Because your family is in the DR at the time and there's something about also grieving
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  around your loved ones and you're physically away. And I imagine that that changes the process
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  of grieving because again, when you join them, you're starting a different version in the cycle
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  of grief and they might be a little bit ahead of you, which I hadn't really thought about before.
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  Yeah, and sometimes you are missing important dates like, it's a liberation like a first
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  communion, birthday party. So I really try to be the all-important date like as a graduation of
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  earnings, the wedding of course, my mom, birthday, mother's day, sometimes Christmas day.
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  Sure. Yes. Did that impact your motherhood? Because obviously you have your village,
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  and when I say village, I don't mean like your literal village, but you have your community
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  in the DR and you're then coming to a foreign country, you're pregnant, we know the hormones
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  that are going on and does that make it more difficult because you don't have your mom
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  just around the corner or you don't have your sister and then you're trying to navigate a new
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  space, but also I appreciate you and mother before, but I imagine that each time that you bring
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  life into the world, it's a different journey and you don't have that support system in the same way.
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  Yes, we feel the distance at that time, and I have a neighbors that their mom was living on
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  the same campus and it was like a jealous one and so, like a just walking and go to her daughter
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  house. So yes, we miss that too, definitely, definitely, but you know, I'm trying to
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  enjoy what I have in Jamaica, to I don't think too much about what I don't have. Sure.
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  I have to enjoy what I have fear that I have so many things to be happy, so I concentrate in
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  that and live one day at a time. That's amazing. And if someone is thinking about moving to Jamaica,
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  what would you tell them? Let me tell you, I have like a rule in my head because that question is
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  like every month. Really? Yes, I had that question. Yes, I have like a three rules, three or two,
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  I don't remember, not two rules. That first, I want to say yes, move for sure. But if you want to be
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  happy in Jamaica, first, don't compare. Don't compare Jamaica with your own country. Jamaica is
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  Jamaica. Okay. Because let me tell you, all the countries, all the places have something good
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  and bad, nothing is perfect in life, nothing, any place, any people, nothing is perfect. So
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  concentrate in the good things. What, for example, Jamaica, it's a very relaxed. You can live
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  like a very relaxed life. Everybody is going, you know, your children can go outside the
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  complex and play in the yard. We don't have like the townhouses. Okay. We have like a building,
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  apartment, and we don't have like a too much green area to go and play to ride bicycle.
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  So I see you need to embrace what you have in Jamaica. Don't compare places, prices, don't
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  compare, don't compare anything, food, just enjoy what you have here. Because if you made the decision,
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  you have to be happy here. And be here with the two foods. Don't be like, okay, my country,
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  no, no, no, no. Everybody is one. Second, be around people, positive. Okay. Because moving to a
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  different country, anywhere you are moving, it's not easy because you are changing so many
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  things in your life. So if you have a friend like I like a complain, oh my gosh, I'm missing my
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  company. Oh, you never gonna be happy. You need to be around happy people, positive people
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  like helping you like, like I said to my kids, be around people like I can add to you.
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  Like some quick fire questions. Do you prefer tasty patty or juicy patty?
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  Oh my gosh. I like both. I like both. Equally. Equally. You don't have a favorite? No.
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  If you have a leave, you just bring one on one and you're happy. And it's patty. That's it.
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  Any patty. Do you prefer curry goat or ox ale? Curry goat. Okay. Do you prefer, do you drink?
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  Yep. No, last minute. Great question. How do you feel that Jamaican rum and rum from the
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  Dominican Republic compare to the flavour? I don't drink rum. You don't drink rum.
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  No, I so I don't want. I cannot be a questioner. But my son do.
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  Okay. Does he have an opinion? Yeah, he prefer the white rum. You make him white
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  rum. Oh, he likes it strong. Yeah. Because I find Latin, Latin rums tend to be a bit softer.
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  Like if someone's just being introduced to rum, a Jamaican rum might be too powerful for them.
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  Wow, he likes the white rum. Yes. Okay, cool. Do you like sorrel? Yes, sure. Yeah. And especially
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  make hotel with sorrel. I love it. Like for Christmas, I do like a Prosecco with sorrel.
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  Oh, love it. You say Christmas. How do you have Christmas dinner in DR? And when you're
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  here, is your home in terms of what you're eating more of a DR Christmas table or is it more of a
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  Jamaican or is it a bit of both? Let me tell you something. One of the things that shook me
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  when I came to Jamaica, when I realised you don't celebrate Christmas Eve. Okay.
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  For us, the more important family date in the year is Christmas Eve. More than Christmas day.
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  Yeah. So Christmas Eve is when you put your best dress. Okay. Like I go or going as a wedding.
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  Yes. And all the family and it's a dinner. Okay. It's a dinner. Christmas Eve. Yeah.
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  So we it's a family big, big family reunion, big family dinner. So Christmas day, we eat
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  the leftover for Christmas Eve. And everybody's relaxing in the pajamas, open the presents.
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  But Christmas Eve is our important day. So when I realised Jamaican people go to do shopping.
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  Yes. Christmas Eve. I say no way. So I keep my Dominican tradition. Okay. So we celebrate Christmas
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  Eve with Dominican food. And what does Christmas Eve Dominican food look like? So we eat pork.
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  You know like the Chinese pork. Yes. But we cook it different but it's at the end of the same
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  flavor. Okay. That we are right. That's similar to rice and peas. Okay. Very similar.
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  Right. We cook in the milk as well. Sometimes. Okay.
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  And the potato salad. And we have something we call it pastelen ojas. Do you know the tamales?
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  Yes. It's similar to tamales. And I think this is our Christmas Eve dinner. Is there any other
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  cultural holiday or any celebration that you do differently in DR? Do you have carnival?
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  Yes. Yes. Good question. Our carnival is totally different. We have carnival. September 27.
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  I would definitely depend this day. Okay. But let me tell you, we covered even our faces with a mask.
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  Okay. So it's not like a bikini. No, no, no, no. And everything is about choreography.
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  Okay. So you dance and we have like okay competition. The best choreography, the best outfit.
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  Yes. But it's everything about covering yourself. Okay. So it's a complete opposite to Jamaican carnival.
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  Complete it. Yes. You're the vibes, the music is the same. Okay.
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  Because it's party time. Sure. But it's totally different. I love Jamaica carnival. I never
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  been. I never jump. Oh really? I will every year. I said this year, I'm going to jump.
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  Yeah. I don't know why, but I go to see and join to dance and drink. I love it. I love Jamaica carnival.
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  If you left Jamaica tomorrow, what would be the thing that you missed the most?
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  I would like my friends definitely. I love my friends here in Jamaica. They're like family.
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  They're like my family. So yes, I'm going to miss them. And let me tell you, I am very creative
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  people. And I do party always without feet. Okay. So very creative. So and I love they follow me
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  like okay, whatever I said this year, feather, everybody's with feather, leather, whatever.
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  They're committed. Yes. Yes. And I love that. I feel like they support me. They support me.
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  Right. That's what I love that. I'm going to miss my friends for sure. The more, yes.
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  Well, thank you very much. Well, thank you for the invitation. My pleasure.