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Stop Celebrating Bad Parenting Just Because Someone Has Kids| accountability| self growth| parenting · Off The Wall Podcast | Motivation & Personal Growth

• 0:00
  Listen, I want to talk to you about something.
• 0:02
  Just because someone create a child don't mean they're a great
• 0:07
  parent. Any woman can lay on her back
• 0:10
  and have a child. She can talk about how much she
• 0:12
  got baby fever and still be a terrible mother.
• 0:17
  You have a man who can, you know, procreate and have a child
• 0:21
  and be a terrible father. Everyone is not meant to be
• 0:25
  parents. The reason being you have so
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  many men and women who create children at a wedlock and then
• 0:36
  put them up for adoption or give them to their grandparents or
• 0:40
  give them to their their mom. Then you have children who
• 0:47
  resent their parents because they never raised them.
• 0:53
  They had someone else to raise them and I can see why those
• 0:59
  children soon to be adults, resent those parents.
• 1:06
  The reason being is because, you know, they wasn't around as they
• 1:10
  should or like they should. And they later came back to, you
• 1:17
  know, hunt them. By what I mean by later, you
• 1:22
  know, hunt them is like the child don't want to be around
• 1:27
  them. The child say the grandparent is
• 1:32
  their mom, the grandpa or the grandma is the mom, the grandpa
• 1:37
  is the dad. And if we being honest, a lot of
• 1:40
  grandparents are great parents. They even better parents when
• 1:45
  they have to take care of their child's children.
• 1:48
  And we have to shed light on this.
• 1:53
  Most men and women don't understand that just because you
• 2:01
  have birth this child doesn't mean it automatically make you a
• 2:07
  great parent. What makes you a great parent is
• 2:11
  installing confidence in them, setting them up for success.
• 2:15
  Even if you are not in a great position to set him up for
• 2:21
  success, how can you do that? One, you got to put God first.
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  Acknowledge Him in all your ways.
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  He shall direct your path. Two work hard so they don't have
• 2:29
  to work hard. 3 Even if you and the the child's father or the
• 2:35
  child's mother don't work out, y'all have to have a great Co
• 2:39
  parent system so that child can see a healthy great a healthy
• 2:44
  and a great Co parenting teamwork.
• 2:49
  Most men and women who have children, you know what I'm
• 2:53
  saying, are not great Co parents.
• 2:56
  One person is hanging on what the person did from the past to
• 3:01
  them. And I know that can't come back
• 3:04
  and hunt people later because not everyone is going to
• 3:08
  forgive. Not everyone will be healed.
• 3:12
  You know, especially from ongoing traumas. 3 or 4.
• 3:17
  You have to work hard. You got to work hard so your
• 3:20
  children don't work hard as you, you want them to be set up for
• 3:25
  the future, not set up to fail. Most of us were, you know, I
• 3:30
  wouldn't say I was set up to fail.
• 3:31
  I just feel like I had to work a little bit harder.
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  And this is not towards anybody. You know that I know this is
• 3:43
  just me speaking about the things that I hear and the
• 3:48
  things that I see on the Internet most.
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  I'm telling you, there are so many women who have given their
• 3:59
  babies up to for an adoption because they know they couldn't
• 4:04
  carry their child at that age that was ripping and running.
• 4:09
  You don't supposed to. Yeah, I can't tell you what you
• 4:11
  don't supposed to be doing, but a lot of young ladies be getting
• 4:15
  pregnant at a young age. 13141516 Then they were raised,
• 4:22
  you know what I'm saying, to keep that child.
• 4:24
  Son was raised to get rid of it. So you have women who are making
• 4:30
  decisions and men are making decisions based off of, you
• 4:35
  know, in the moment instead of thinking in the future.
• 4:38
  When you have a child, you got to think about the future.
• 4:40
  It's no longer about you. You got to think about what's
• 4:43
  going to make my child better than me.
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  You got to think about that. Most women and most men don't
• 4:53
  think about that when that whenever they're not putting on
• 4:55
  that condom, they're not thinking about, all right, let's
• 4:59
  wait. You know what I'm saying?
• 5:00
  Let's we're not, we're not ready.
• 5:02
  You know, I'm 17, I'm eighteen. I'm not ready to have a child
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  right now. Most people don't think about it
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  until later on, and then once later on get here.
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  They're blaming other people, you know, instead of taking a
• 5:28
  accountability and saying, hey, I didn't set my children up for
• 5:34
  success, but I'm working towards it.
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  But what makes people not great parents is that they don't try.
• 5:49
  Most people don't try. Most parents don't try.
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  One thing I can say like my parents are trying.
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  One thing my son going to say like my dad did.
• 6:01
  That's the thing my dad did. My dad helped me and he got me
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  to where I needed to be every day.
• 6:08
  I'm figuring out other ways to, you know, be stable.
• 6:12
  So my son, by time my son is like 8 or 9 or 10, the things
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  that most Americans are stressing about or millennials
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  are stressing about, my son does not stress about it at all.
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  He don't even have a thought of that.
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  That's what make parents not good parents, not thinking, not
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  putting forth the effort, not trying.
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  Wise counsel if you don't have wise counsel as a parent is is
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  going to show and it's very important to have wise counsel.
• 6:54
  You just don't need two people. You need other people that
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  believe in God, who loves God that have great intentions for
• 7:02
  you and that child. If you don't have that, then you
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  will not be able to progress the way God wants you to progress.
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  And God will send you people that is right for you, that will
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  help you along the way. But you cannot let pride or ego
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  get in the way. What's going to make you a great
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  parent is working, working your tail off, OK?
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  It's not about you no more. You got to do the unnecessary
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  things you got to do, yes, not say unnecessary things.
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  You got to do the things that you don't like so you can do the
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  things that you love. My Mama tell me that all the
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  time, like you got to do what you got to do to do what you
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  want to do right now. I got to do what I got to do
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  eventually. Soon I'm going to do what I love
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  to do. Isaiah 60, 2020.
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  I mean 22. Everything will happen at the,
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  you know, the right time, you know, but I know the hard work
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  that I'm putting in is going to pay off.
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  I'm telling my son going to be good in a couple years, he going
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  to be good, But I wanted, I wanted to, you know, just shed
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  light on this. Just because you have a child
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  and make you a great parent, it's the actions behind it that
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  makes you a great parent. You got to put it in the work.
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  Nobody is going to hand it to you.
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  You know, you have to put your child in a better situation so
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  they don't have to go through what you went through.
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  You don't want your child to resent you because you you quit
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  or you gave up or you sent them to your mom or your dad.
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  Now they growing up resenting you because you could have done
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  that. You could have, you know what
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  I'm saying? Most people think like you could
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  have just never had me on this earth.
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  You could have just aborted me. And I see people logic.
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  I see people logic, but it's the actions that make parents not
• 9:16
  good parents. If you don't try you, you're a
• 9:18
  terrible parent. If you always partying, you
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  know, always going out, you know what I'm saying?
• 9:25
  You always put men before your children.
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  You're not a great parent If you putting women before your
• 9:31
  children. You're not a great parent if
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  you're not installing confidence in your child, installing God
• 9:40
  into your child or your children.
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  I'm not going to say you're not a great parent, but it's very
• 9:47
  important to have God in the center of your relationships
• 9:51
  because that is how you're going to create a bond with your
• 9:55
  children. Children do not care about
• 9:57
  money. They care about your presence.
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  That's what I mean by actions. Your actions will show if you a
• 10:03
  great parent or not. Children care about water, they
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  care about eating. You know they care about going
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  to the park although it's hot. They don't care.
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  As long as they got their dad or their mom there, they don't
• 10:19
  care. They don't care about that.
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  They don't see the material things that we see.
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  They see their mom and dad. They don't see your struggles.
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  They just see my mom and dad is here with me.
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  Children can't tell if, especially the little infant,
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  they can't tell if y'all struggling as long as you there.
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  They going to see that when they wake up, they going to see that
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  you know you're doing a good job when your children or your child
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  run to you after you had a long day at work.
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  Come on man, like that's fire. I I remember and my son still do
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  this like I come home, bro. He just run to me like dad, like
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  that's hard. Like come on now, like it's the
• 11:00
  little things that make you a great parent.
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  You installing confidence, telling your child like, hey,
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  you're going to be this, you're going to be great.
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  You're smart, you know, you're teaching them at a young age.
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  Hey, save your money, put your money up.
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  Do this. You know, you can't spend that
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  much we on the budget, you know, just putting in the effort.
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  That's that's what makes you a great parent.
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  You don't got to be perfect. It's just effort.
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  Just try harder, you know, like there's a lot of money to be
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  made and I'm I'm going to come across it the right place at the
• 11:37
  right time by the right people. I'm going to come across it and
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  I wouldn't have to work as hard, you know, and plus I'm young.
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  So like, I'm going to continue to work.
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  I'm going to continue to, you know, strive so my son don't
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  have to ever stress about dad, can I get this?
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  And I'm like, son, I don't got it.
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  Then he got to ask somebody else right now.
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  I got it. Let's do it, you know what I'm
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  saying? So just because you have a child
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  does not make you a great parent.
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  If this resonated with you, if you like the topics that I'm
• 12:13
  talking about, man, make sure you tell a friend to tell a
• 12:16
  friend and make sure you check out my latest episodes.
• 12:19
  I'm dropping every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays at 5:00
• 12:25
  AM and make sure you, you know, subscribe or follow.
• 12:31
  I'm on all platforms. I ain't going to lie, I'm on a
• 12:33
  lot of platforms when it comes to podcasting.
• 12:37
  So if you feel like this resonated with you, if you feel
• 12:40
  like you want to get better, you want to do better, man, this is
• 12:45
  a podcast where you should tap into.
• 12:47
  I got 86 countries that is listening to me.
• 12:50
  So that's nothing but God. And I appreciate y'all for
• 12:52
  tapping in. You have a blessed day.