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But Doc It Hurts When I Do That! · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

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  Speaker 1: But Doc, it hurts when I do that. It's one
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  Speaker 1: more thing. I'm strong and getty. One more thing. First,
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  Speaker 1: I wanted to mention this.
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  Speaker 2: We ran out of time on the radio show to
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  Speaker 2: get this news story on the Colorado cake baker one again.
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  Speaker 2: Maybe you know his name, if you've been following this
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  Speaker 2: story for the past dozen years, Jack Phillips. He's a
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  Speaker 2: cake decorator in Lakewood, Colorado. You decide to do that,
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  Speaker 2: you like to bake, and you're a little artistic, and
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  Speaker 2: you think, you know, I'm not going to change the
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  Speaker 2: world here, but it's what I like to do, and
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  Speaker 2: I'll be happy with my own little niche in life.
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  Speaker 2: And then you end up being the focus of Supreme
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  Speaker 2: Court cases and that sort of thing for a dozen years.
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  Speaker 1: How annoying.
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  Speaker 3: We've spent an entire career poking the bear jabbing the
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  Speaker 3: powerful courting controversy and this guy gets, you know, five
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  Speaker 3: hundred times more attention because he didn't want to have
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  Speaker 3: two dudes on the cake. Because he's a Christian. He
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  Speaker 3: he's not down with.
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  Speaker 2: That, right, going back to twenty twelve, twelve years ago,
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  Speaker 2: dozen years ago, he wouldn't bake a custom wedding cake
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  Speaker 2: for a gay couple, and it became a thing, and
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  Speaker 2: it went all the way up to the Supreme Court,
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  Speaker 2: and finally, in twenty twenty eighteen, six years later, the
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  Speaker 2: Supreme Court ruled narrowly for mister Phillips, finding that they
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  Speaker 2: had acted with particular animus toward his faith. So anyway, Katie,
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  Speaker 2: at the.
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  Speaker 3: Time we referred to the cake as a gake, a gig.
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  Speaker 2: But he had to think at that time, finally, this
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  Speaker 2: nightmare is over. As a guy who just wanted to
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  Speaker 2: bake cakes and as a Christian, I don't want to
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  Speaker 2: make your cake. And obviously the answer from people like
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  Speaker 2: us was go get your kick baked something somewhere else.
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  Speaker 2: Why are you gonna make such a big point out
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  Speaker 2: of this, He doesn't want to make your cake. Plenty
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  Speaker 2: of people, will you know, give him a bad Ye'll
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  Speaker 2: preview if you want, and uh, but only pretending to
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  Speaker 2: be offended and put upon. If I want to have
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  Speaker 2: like a some sort of up with Israel cake, I
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  Speaker 2: go to my local baker.
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  Speaker 3: He says, Hey, I'm Palestinian American. I'm kind of an
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  Speaker 3: activist on you know, Israel's being too cruel to my people.
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  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say, okay, I can respect that. Thanks anyway,
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  Speaker 3: I'm not going to pretend that he's done me some
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  Speaker 3: sort of horrific crime.
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  Speaker 1: A joke, Yes, kidny, this.
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  Speaker 4: From the Babylon be millions of gay people die of hunger.
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  Speaker 4: Is one bakery in Colorado no longer forced to bake
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  Speaker 4: them wedding cakes?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Right, So he thought he was out of the woods,
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  Speaker 2: his long national nightmare was over. But no, an attorney,
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  Speaker 2: of course it was an attorney called him. Didn't even
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  Speaker 2: go into the store a couple of years ago to
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  Speaker 2: request another custom cake. This one's celebrating a gender transition.
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  Speaker 2: Were not same, Poor baker, I couldn't put into you know,
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  Speaker 2: gay had gotten settled, gay marriage's law of the land, everybody,
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  Speaker 2: poles had moved whatever. Now you gotta do gender transition.
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  Speaker 2: So a lawyer calls you up in order to cake,
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  Speaker 2: and you say, I'm not going to make a gender
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  Speaker 2: transition cake, and boom, it becomes a court case once again.
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  Speaker 4: You think they just remembered that this baker had gone
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  Speaker 4: through this once before and said, hey, let's try this
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  Speaker 4: guy again.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I think you know, why did they choose the
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  Speaker 2: same guy just because they.
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  Speaker 1: Knew he would re publicity.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, Phillips declined again on religious free exercise grounds. The
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  Speaker 2: attorney sued. This is the lawsuit that the Colorado Colorado
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  Speaker 2: Supreme Court dismissed this week on grounds that it wasn't
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  Speaker 2: filed correctly. So it was really a technicality. But at
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  Speaker 2: least for now it is, he's out of the woods.
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  Speaker 1: I assume somebody's picking up his legal costs. God, I
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  Speaker 1: hope so, I certainly hope.
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  Speaker 3: So I want that lawyer to be found, taken into custody,
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  Speaker 3: perhaps bound, perhaps a force fed cake until he explodes.
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  Speaker 2: And so what if they had won, what would their
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  Speaker 2: big victory be? What's your story forcing.
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  Speaker 3: Creative people to exercise their creativity for.
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  Speaker 1: Any cause that you make them.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, it's not It was always used as an example,
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  Speaker 2: but it's not exactly like having to sit in the
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  Speaker 2: back of the bus, or not allowed to stay in
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  Speaker 2: the hotel because you're black, or a variety of other
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  Speaker 2: things that you can you don't think of. It's not
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  Speaker 2: the same thing. Go over there and get a cake
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  Speaker 2: with somebody who doesn't care.
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  Speaker 3: And what bothers me is a free speech advocate of
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  Speaker 3: First Amendment advocate is compelled speeches. Every bit is odious
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  Speaker 3: as forbidden speech in its own way. And again, you
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  Speaker 3: can't force me to write a song saying we should
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  Speaker 3: exterminate the Jews.
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  Speaker 1: You can't make me do that. I find it abhorrent.
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  Speaker 3: Now, maybe what this guy finds abhorrent is different than
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  Speaker 3: what I find abhorrent. Nonetheless, I'm picturing one of those
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  Speaker 3: icing piping things. You stick it down the guy's throat
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  Speaker 3: and you just squeezing, squeeze and squeeze. I don't I
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  Speaker 3: should be quiet.
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  Speaker 5: Now, That's what I was thinking. If I'm forced to
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  Speaker 5: make a cake, I make it taste like foot. That's
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  Speaker 5: just the worst tasting cake you've ever had.
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  Speaker 2: Joe's on punishing the lawyer. So you put a funnel
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  Speaker 2: in his mouth with sprinkles. So many sprinkles, you're gonna
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  Speaker 2: choke on these sprinkles. You on icing, you on custom izing.
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  Speaker 2: Here you go. So that lawyer, who again called, wouldn't
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  Speaker 2: even bother to go into the store because he knew
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  Speaker 2: what he was gonna get out of it, wanted one
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  Speaker 2: cake celebrating a gender transition, and also requested a second
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  Speaker 2: cake depicting Satan smoking marijuana. Oh, come, on. They were
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  Speaker 2: totally setting this up. Of course they were, which is
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  Speaker 2: often the case. I mean, Plusy versus vierguson, Rosa Parks.
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  Speaker 2: Those were all on purpose to get an outcome, to
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  Speaker 2: get a court case, to finally get a sling on
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  Speaker 2: these things.
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  Speaker 1: But this is but they were right. He's wrong, He's
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  Speaker 1: completely wrong. Oh God, So there's that.
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  Speaker 2: Got that out of the way, and then, uh, do
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  Speaker 2: you know the joke, okatie, It's one of my favorite
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  Speaker 2: old timey jokes. Doctor it hurts when I do this,
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  Speaker 2: and the doctor says, then don't do that. Okay, fair,
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  Speaker 2: it's an easy out.
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  Speaker 1: Then you go home. It's classic.
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  Speaker 2: I'm getting a I'm getting something done today that is
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  Speaker 2: going to involve pain, and I'm I've been deciding to
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  Speaker 2: I want to talk about it on the air or not.
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  Speaker 2: It's one of your more funny things you can get done.
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  Speaker 5: You'll feel better if you do talk about it.
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  Speaker 6: Are you finally transitioning?
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  Speaker 2: Always, always, Michael's role is to say, sure, go ahead
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  Speaker 2: and talk about it. I'm not going to for a
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  Speaker 2: variety of reasons involving my personal life and kids, but
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  Speaker 2: it'd be a funny procedure to talk about it's it's
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  Speaker 2: a common procedure. It's it's it's it's it's ripe with
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  Speaker 2: humor possibilities.
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  Speaker 1: You could you probably guess getting a third arm.
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  Speaker 2: You could probably guess, if you took like three guesses,
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  Speaker 2: you would get I'm not letting I guess, because I'm
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  Speaker 2: gonna you're you're gonna guess.
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  Speaker 5: Fair.
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  Speaker 1: We'll respect it.
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  Speaker 6: We'll stick with breast implants.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, stick with that.
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  Speaker 2: Anyway, it's going to involve pain and uh and some
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  Speaker 2: pain management at least for a little while. And I
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  Speaker 2: came across this. Almost ninety percent of health care providers
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  Speaker 2: surveyed reported that their patients prefer to manage pain without
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  Speaker 2: a prescribed opioid. Yeah, but that wasn't true. I don't
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  Speaker 2: know however many years ago. Really, this is a testament
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  Speaker 2: to just you know, the word getting out. This is
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  Speaker 2: a bad idea. It's easy to get hooked. Don't do it.
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  Speaker 2: So almost ninety percent of people say, I don't want
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  Speaker 2: any opioids to deal with this pain.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, good good.
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  Speaker 3: I'm glad to hear that, you know, speaking of pain,
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  Speaker 3: and I I have hesitated to even talk about this
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  Speaker 3: because I don't want it to sound like complaining or
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  Speaker 3: some sort of request for sympathy. But I'm in pain
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  Speaker 3: all the time, and it's sometimes it's pretty bad, but
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  Speaker 3: I've learned to deal with it mentally. And I read
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  Speaker 3: something who was it, Oh, somebody writing about chronic pain.
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  Speaker 3: But there's counseling you can do to change your mindset
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  Speaker 3: about it. And one of their principles is if you
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  Speaker 3: were born today feeling like you feel, you would just think, Okay.
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  Speaker 1: This is life. Now I'm going to go about my business.
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  Speaker 1: And it works. It's not like you enjoy it or anything,
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  Speaker 1: but it's, uh, it's interesting what you can get used to. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not afraid of it.
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  Speaker 3: There's no fear because one of the main components of
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  Speaker 3: pain is fear, which is the reason it hurts me
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  Speaker 3: to get a shot. Everybody every bit as much as
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  Speaker 3: it hurts six year old. But the six year old
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  Speaker 3: is terrified. Yeah, and I'm just thinking how soon is
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  Speaker 3: this over?
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  Speaker 2: And then like if you get a procedure done, the
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  Speaker 2: pain usually what's frightening about is like am I about
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  Speaker 2: to rip this open or something right, as opposed to
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  Speaker 2: if it's it's okay, it's just gonna be here, which
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  Speaker 2: isn't pleasant. But I remember there's somebody I knew who
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  Speaker 2: had I forget what their pain was, but that like
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  Speaker 2: really bad, horrifying pain that they had, and they talked
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  Speaker 2: about the psychological thing that they had learned of being
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  Speaker 2: able to walk inside the pain like it was a
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  Speaker 2: room and observe it from inside or something. Oh, I've
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  Speaker 2: never heard that before, but they said it worked for him.
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  Speaker 2: How I've never been able to I've never Luckily, I
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  Speaker 2: don't have like I have zero pain, and I've never
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  Speaker 2: had to apply that, oh, you're pain to others. So
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  Speaker 2: there's suggestion. Yeah, I cause other people pain. I will
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  Speaker 2: have pain starting at four fifteen this afternoon for a
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  Speaker 2: couple of days. Here's my hint, and everybody'll know what
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  Speaker 2: it is. But I'm not going to talk about it.
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  Speaker 2: The pain management includes a bag of frozen peas.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so not under or not overrated.
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  Speaker 2: Enough sense, but I'm not gonna talk about but yet.
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  Speaker 2: So I need to get frozen piece. I don't have
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  Speaker 2: any yet. I don't want to forget, because I'd be
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  Speaker 2: a bad thing to forget. Don't forget, I've often wondered, though,
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  Speaker 2: not you, because you have actual pain, but even for
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  Speaker 2: like people that feel good like me. I'll bet though
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  Speaker 2: I've gotten used to certain things that if I could,
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  Speaker 2: like go back to being eighteen for a day, I.
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  Speaker 1: Think, oh wow, I didn't realize how bad I felt.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I have this fantasy of playing one round of
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  Speaker 3: golf as a thirty five year old again, just to
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  Speaker 3: get a time machine. I don't want to meet Jesus.
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  Speaker 3: I don't want to have lunch with Abraham Lincoln. I
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  Speaker 3: just want to play one round of golf as a
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  Speaker 3: thirty five year old again.
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  Speaker 2: Not even like a twenty five have lunch with Abraham Lincoln.
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna hit the links as a young man instead.
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  Speaker 1: Also the eating situation, to be younger and eat again.
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  Speaker 1: We just eat whatever the.
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  Speaker 2: Hell you want.
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  Speaker 1: What happens you already do? Jack? What are you talking about?
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  Speaker 2: But I pay the price of being not twenty years old.
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  Speaker 2: I do eat whatever I want, but just.
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  Speaker 1: To eat and then you're fine. Here you're two minutes later,
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  Speaker 1: you still feel great.
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  Speaker 5: I used to be an hour later, sit down and
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  Speaker 5: eat a large pizza to myself, Oh yeah, crush that thing,
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  Speaker 5: or do you know what?
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  Speaker 3: You know? The inevitable part of every guy's golf trip
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  Speaker 3: is you go out for steaks, you know, three out
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  Speaker 3: of four of them, that is what you do, or,
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  Speaker 3: in the case of the one I'm going to do
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  Speaker 3: next week, you cook him at home.
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  Speaker 1: But I used to be.
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  Speaker 3: Able to hammer down a hunk of meat the size
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  Speaker 3: of a house cat.
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  Speaker 1: I mean it was. I enjoyed the last bite as
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  Speaker 1: much as the first. Now I feel like a little lady.
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  Speaker 1: I'll take the petit philet. Oh, go ahead and get
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  Speaker 1: the New York strip, and I take half.
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  Speaker 3: Of it home.
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  Speaker 1: Do you get mocked by your friends? I don't know,
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  Speaker 1: because they're old.
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  Speaker 2: Who lady, Lady, Lady's like a very mockable thing. You
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  Speaker 2: get the tiny little does your husband order steak?
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  Speaker 3: I mean, come on, So I was rooming with another
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  Speaker 3: guy in this last trip. I took it, and I
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  Speaker 3: was putting a steak in the fridge in the hotel room.
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  Speaker 3: I said, what percentage of the time do hotel room
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  Speaker 3: fridge steaks actually get consumed? The next morning?
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  Speaker 1: He said zero? Yeah, fair enough.
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  Speaker 2: I forgot it was even in there, very sellable. There's
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  Speaker 2: the forgetting. Then there's a realizing I don't have any
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  Speaker 2: of you utensils necessary to eat a steak, even though
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  Speaker 2: I've got this really great, expensive steak here. So sometimes
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  Speaker 2: I have been in my hotel room holding the steak
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  Speaker 2: in my hand like an apple eating holes.
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  Speaker 1: That's going to say, it's just.
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  Speaker 6: Wasted forks at the end of your arms. They're called hands.
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  Speaker 1: Oh that needs to be on a T shirt.
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  Speaker 5: That may be the greatest saying ever. Katie, Well, I
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  Speaker 5: guess that's it.
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  Speaker 1: That's pretty funny, ah,