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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: A Proper Step Outside Of My Comfort Zone · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Happy five Minute Friday, y'all. I'm reading a body here.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: You are listening to Hurdle. Good to have you. I know,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: I know, don't come at me. Summer is not over yet.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I believe it goes until the end of September. But
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I am leaving on Tuesday to go to Tokyo for
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: two weeks and when I return, it will officially be fall.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm kind of in my feels.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about how I want to spend my final
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: weekend of summer, aside from of course packing for the
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: foreseeable future.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: I digress.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Last weekend, I was soaking in all the seasonal vibes.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: I went back to Connecticut to hang out with my
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: family and see them before I start traveling, and we
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: went to the beach and I did something that I
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: have a confession I have never done before, and that is,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: this is going to sound so crazy to some of you,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: wear a triangle bikini top. I know, I know it's
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: not a big deal. I see women wearing triangle bikini
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: tops all the time, but this is kind of My
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: relationship with triangle bikini tops is similar to the relationship
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: that I have with denim, and that when I was younger,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I had a really hard time finding denim that made
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: me feel comfortable and at the same to the same effect,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I never really felt comfortable wearing that style bathing suit,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: regardless of what bottoms.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I was wearing.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I never really felt as though I had the quote
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: unquote right body for a triangle bathing suit top. And
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I know this is silly. It's like that saying that
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: we hear at the top of every summer. If you
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: have a body, your body is a bikini body, right,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: that's what we're talking about.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Still, it just never felt right for me.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: But over the summer, I saw a woman wearing a
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: super cute triangle top with a very similar bottom style
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: like high leg, high waisted to what I like to wear,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: and I said, you know what, I'm going to buy one.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: And well, that triangle top sat in my bathing suit
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: drawer for the past three months, and for some reason
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I decided that I was going to finally wear it
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: over the weekend. It's so funny because something can be
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: such a big deal to you, but the people around you.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Have no concept of what's going on.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I know that my mom and one of my oldest
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: friends that I was at the beach with had no
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: context thought, second thought about the fact that I was
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: sitting there wearing that bathing suit top. But for me,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: it was very liberating and yeah, just worth commemorating for me.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I share this story with you because there are so
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: many times where we just have this assumption about other people,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: and sometimes it helps to paint a little bit of color,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: to provide a little bit of context on where I'm at,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: in hopes that maybe if you've experienced something similar, you
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: feel a little less alone in whatever it is that
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: you're going through. Now, do I think that many people
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: feel this way about triangle bathing suit tops? I have
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: no clue, And candidly, I'm sure there are many male
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: listeners that are like, Wow, what an episode Emily.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: To that, I say, thank you for listening. My listener
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: question for.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: You this week, what's a story that you're telling yourself
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: that you've allowed yourself to believe to be true for
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: probably way too long right now, a la me being,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: I don't have that type of body for this. What
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: is a story that you have been telling yourself for
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: way too long that it's time to dispel? And now
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: a listener question, Hey, Emily, It's Joe from NYC. My
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: question for you this week is how do you respond
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: to negative comments, both psychologically and logistically, i e. Do
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: you delete them, respond to them and leave them up, etc.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much and love your show. You are incredibly
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: inspiring to me. This is a good question, Joe, so
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I'll be I'll be upfront. I don't get a lot
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: of negative comments, and for that I'm very grateful. I
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: also don't go to seek them out. So while I
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: don't get push notifications about things that happen on Instagram
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: to my phone, I do get all the notifications when
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I open the app, and I'll look through them and
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: answer what I answer. I believe that you teach people
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: how to treat you, and as kindness is one of
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: my values, I would like to think that that is
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: the energy that I'm putting out into the world, and
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: so that energy is coming back to me.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: With that said, that doesn't mean.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: That I don't get the sporadic, negative, hurtful comment, and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I'll usually do my best to respond instead of reacts.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So I know that when someone has something negative to
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: say to me about me, oftentimes that has more to
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: do with them than it has to do with me.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: That is a fact. However, there are going to.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Be times where maybe someone just doesn't agree with what
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, and when I feel this stirs something up
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: in me when I read it, I make sure to
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: take a step back first and think about it for
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: a second. So I don't want to be reactive on
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: social media. That is never ever my goal. Sometimes I
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: will respond and leave a comment there if something is
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: just plain nasty, which again so few and far between.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I can't remember the last time someone simply just wrote
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: something targeting like my appearance or something on my page, thankfully,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: But if something is just like absolutely unecessary, I have
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: no plot problem at all, deleting it, blocking them whatever.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: It's just that something I have to do often, and
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: for that I am very grateful. But yeah, if there's
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: a takeaway from this answer, it's that I often I
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: do believe that you can disagree with people and still
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: orbit around them. I think what's been quite difficult over
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: the last few years, especially with the I'm gesturing loosely
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: here political climate, is that there are such intense beliefs,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: but there are also good people on both sides, and
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: many are prone to writing people off a lah cancel culture,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: and so I am of the mindset that I can
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: disagree with someone but still.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Believe that they're a good person.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: And I try to approach a lot of the situations
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: that come my way with this mindset and assume good
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: intent until perhaps I am shown otherwise.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's it for this week.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Make sure you're following along on social It's over at
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Hurdle podcast, I'm over at Emily a Body, Another hurdle
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: conquered to Tokyo.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I go catch you guys next week.