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Free Pizza · System Speak: Complex Trauma and Dissociation

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Well, guess what I did for the first time ever? Went bowling. For the outing of the month of July was bowling, which is pretty good deal since we don't wanna do fireworks, just blow up our money. Don't wanna do that. You gotta have money to blow up money.
• 0:34
  And on my outside kids, they're they're not even here to play with. They're at Oklahoma still. I miss them. They wanna come home to us, but right now, it's no option. Because right now, they have to go to the eye doctor and the ear doctor and the regular doctor and the dentist every year, all the summer.
• 1:10
  Nathan will do that. Nathan will be a parent. But I'm on parent vacation, which is pretty good deal. Except we're just write books, be sad. Sometimes we we do things and get some therapy points, I think.
• 1:37
  I hope we got some therapy points because we did not get any bowling points. My friends did. They put up the little walls, the railings for my ball. Sometimes I I try to do it, but my pants are falling down. And also, it was hard day for for being sad, but bowling is really important.
• 2:29
  And I still wanna go, but we have things to be sad about also. And I thought it's good time holding both, have big feelings and big fun. They call us that one, but our friends die. That was that was that was another world back then, and we were very sad of it. And I think that's just too many goodbyes in one day.
• 3:13
  I just have lots to be sad about. And, also, if you're gonna be celebrating at the same time for trying to be alive and meet your friends in person. And everything's already set up, and they will have face less pizza, and they'll have cupcakes. I mean, I will drive drive to to bowling bowling for for a a cupcake, cupcake. But I I'm not very good at getting my ball down the middle.
• 4:14
  I feel like I feel like that's pretty real because sometimes I'm trying to get my life to go one way, and it just it just falls to the pits. And if if if at first you don't try, you have to try, try again. They make you go two times in a row. Every single time. Two times.
• 4:48
  You can't even sit down or catch a break. You can't cross a line or the alarm goes off. My friend Sam was busted. She got her foot across the line. And, well, that's off alarms, but nobody was dead.
• 5:12
  The floor just slippery. But got more points at me. I did I did pretty good at losing that game, but for my first timer, I'm okay with that because I had fun. Also, did I mention there was pizza there? Because I liked pizza.
• 5:37
  And the kids are gone, so trying to save all our food for when the kids come home. So I was I was very excited for very excited for free pizza. So I will drive for free pizza. Yesterday, we drove for the boats, and we got fish and chips. I will also drive for fish and chips.
• 6:14
  Not bad deal, fish and chips. And just a lot of cars up where we drive, up where we drive, all day in the traffic. Look at me go all by alone. Part of my own world. I'm pretty good driving, but these people mean business.
• 7:11
  This ain't no tractor town. This city ain't full of cars. They got more cars than they got lanes. And I don't just mean bow ling. That's also called lanes.
• 7:30
  But we had to drive down to the city before it get to the lanes, the bowling. They also have arcades have video games there, but I did not go see it that air hockey because I do not have a quarter. But I'm better at air hockey than I am at bowling. Man, you get a good game of air hockey, you can get some feelings out. That's what I think about that.
• 8:09
  Also, I learned if you're gonna drive out of the city, you have to stay in the middle because the left one sometimes you have permission, sometimes you do not. They have diamonds. I don't know what does the diamonds mean. Hello? Listeners, if you live at the city, can you please tell me what do the diamonds mean?
• 8:40
  I tried to Google it, and they just did not tell me this kind of diamonds. So I do not know what it means. But if you drive on the right, it just take you to another town. Exit here. Exit again.
• 8:57
  Exit only. First thing I learned how to say up here was the traffic lightens up after every most of the time, that's true. But if you make that far, you still got a long way to go. You just gotta keep on trucking. We earthquakes swarm, but that volcano ain't gonna blow, so you don't got speed out here.
• 9:41
  I said, I would like some preparedness, please. She said, we do not need preparedness because because we could just die in peace. And I said, that's not the kind of preparedness I'm talking about. I would like some batteries. I was hoping if you go pizza, free pizza night, that will say, here's some free pizza and some batteries.
• 10:11
  Don't make I have my flashlights, but I'm making do. I I'm pretty pretty like it here, but lots of feelings. Therapy therapy gives me feelings. Saying goodbye gives me feelings. Try to stand up for myself gives me feelings.
• 11:05
  Learning all the things gives me feelings. Watching my friends be happy and loving gives me feelings. Pizza gives me feelings. Feeling full. That two kinds of pizza tonight.
• 11:26
  That had Italian pizza with pepperonis, and that Jew pizza with vegetables, and I ate vegetable one. I learned what was like to have bowling game with queer folks, and we got more I mean, you're not cool just because you're loud, buddy. You you need to go therapy. They need go therapy. I had a big yawn.
• 12:33
  I did I didn't I did not have a yawn when I was there even though that party started at bedtime. I just well I I said, hi, Jew. I'm a Jew too, but I just found out they got vegetable pizza too. Also, I met my friend. I finally met my friend from my tribes.
• 13:08
  Also, look, guys, we're in we're we're indigenous, and we're not very good at bowling. But we're good making noises. We're good at being nice. We're good at being friends. I got well, we could be friends, But I was not Italian enough to be very cool and very loud and very excited and very, very a lot of it.
• 13:46
  But I I really like to say, oh, I I feel safe, and I feel happy. And, also, I feel sad. And, also, I feel lot of goodbye, letting go. Everybody everybody's having feelings of it. Do you know three people tonight?
• 14:16
  They they could do sign language at me a little bit. They know some. That was that was the nicest thing. And I thought, oh, you will be my friends, people. I don't know.
• 14:54
  If you ever feel like you're just tired of trying for a friend, try and believe people will believe in you. If you're gonna have friends, you need someone who will stay. You need someone who will believe believe in you. You need someone who'll be kind of you, We'll make your life better and safer. That's why I live in the forest with the deer or the deer in the antidote play and the squirrels and the raccoons.
• 16:02
  A lot of birds, owls, hummingbirds, foxes, coyotes. I don't know what else they got here because they know I just moved here, so they still feel shy. But I have lots of snail friends. Lots of snails. Lots of crabs, little big crabs, bigger crabs.
• 16:42
  I will not be crappy. Not when not when I had a whole piece of pizza. I was so glad for food. I said, oh, thank you for my dinner. Fish and chips was I was very glad for that.
• 17:06
  We are halfway done till kids come home. Ain't that nothing go like we thought? I'm just getting good at dressing, getting good at grieving, Getting good at finding my own way because I got to. Do you know you can go eat on the beach and watch the boats go in and out, watch the whales and orcas? I won't take the kids to see that, but it'll take a lot of money saving.
• 18:01
  That's why I'm pretty glad free pizza. I got therapy goal for riding the ferries. I really wanna ride the ferries bad, and I've been asked and asking. She said, not yet. Not yet.
• 18:18
  I'm trying. I'm trying. But now we talk about that therapy. Our therapist helping us get a pass and some pass is for some kids for disability. That will save some dollars, which mean we can do it sooner.
• 18:44
  And my therapist taught me about where to go, where to park my car, how to get on it. And my therapist said that she'll go with me if I want. My therapist's a little bit on the wild side. We have three therapists, actually. One is very called attachment therapists.
• 19:21
  One is very regular therapists. That's the wild one. Good thing. I'm very one is art therapists where we do some hard things and take it back to our soft therapist who is attachment therapist, helping everybody in there to settle down, feel better, get healthy, choose wisely. Sometimes you just can't have what you want no matter how much you want it.
• 20:03
  Sometimes you gotta want the healthy thing enough to get that for yourself. I do not want my life be unmanageable, so we got oil change. Take care of the car before we drive down for bowling. But then I leave bowling. And I go bowling thinking I'm alone at the world, and I'm very sad.
• 20:44
  And I leave bowling thinking I'm not too alone, and and I'm safe enough and happy enough, connected enough. We just, like, get filled up with Brave Juice. And if you get filled up with Brave Juice, you can go back to any books, presenting your presenters, doing some work for people's feelings. Also, do you know what else we did yesterday? We watched the last unicorn.
• 21:55
  Last unicorn is a movie you need to watch. It's about not being shiny happy. It's about think for yourself. It's about don't be scared to stand up to the bad guys. And we talk about that therapy, the last unicorn.
• 22:21
  It's really very important for changing your life, the last unicorn is. We figured out the banana song, I think, if you wanna listen.