Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / SUCCESS Feels EMPTY When It’s All About YOU (S5) S40:E5

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SUCCESS Feels EMPTY When It’s All About YOU (S5) S40:E5 · Inspirations for Your Life

0:24
Well there, hello everyone, and welcome to the
0:26
ever-popular Inspirations for Your Life show.
0:29
It's great to be with you, ladies and
0:31
gentlemen.
0:31
It is, yes, September, it's September 30th, it's
0:35
a Wednesday, and yes, it is the very
0:40
last day in Wednesday.
0:43
So very, very great to have you with
0:47
me here.
0:48
If this is your very first time joining
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me on the show, well, welcome.
0:53
Thanks so much for joining me, really do
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appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
1:00
If you've been here one time, five times,
1:02
10 times, or maybe even more, I'd like
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to say thank you and welcome, but I'd
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also like to say those important words, welcome
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back.
1:11
Yes, I'd like to say the words, welcome
1:13
back.
1:15
I hope you guys are doing well tonight,
1:18
and I hope this isn't the first time
1:21
you've found us, but if it is, well,
1:23
that's great.
1:24
Like I said, it is great to have
1:25
you, and I think you're going to enjoy
1:27
tonight's show quite a bit, and I hope
1:32
that it inspires you.
1:36
All right, so if you've never heard of
1:40
me before, you probably don't know about BelieveMeAchieved
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.com, do check that out after the show
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Yes, so much more.
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By the way, this show is on every
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and gentlemen, and guess what?
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You can watch the show at your leisure,
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2:10
If you're thirsty, if you're hungry, feel free
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to grab something.
2:12
I have my delicious Aro water right here.
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It is fresh lemon, seven times filtered Aro
2:19
water, I'm going to have a little bit
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right now, that is delicious.
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All right, feel free to go grab yourself
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some Aro water, maybe get a fruit or
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some candy, whatever you like, and come on
2:35
back to the show.
2:37
All right, guys, let's get this kicked off,
2:40
so success feels empty when it's all about
2:44
you.
2:45
Series 5, show 40, episode 5, yes, guys,
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September 30th, it is a Wednesday, that means
2:50
tomorrow, that's right, guys, it'll be September 1st.
2:54
Welcome, everyone, to the ever-popular Inspirations for
2:57
Your Life show.
2:59
I'm John C.
3:00
Morley.
3:00
I'm a serial entrepreneur.
3:02
I'm an engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, podcast
3:04
host, coach, keynote speaker, passionate lifelong learner, a
3:08
graduate student at Montclair State University, and so
3:10
grateful now to be a published author.
3:13
Our weekly master topic is your actions are
3:17
telling the truth about you.
3:19
All week, I've been closing the distance between
3:22
what we say, what we actually do, and
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today, I'm going after something that can be
3:29
uncomfortable to admit.
3:32
Success feels empty when it's all about you.
3:36
Now, don't misunderstand me.
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I believe in ambition.
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I believe in setting enormous goals.
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I believe in working hard, building things, becoming
3:46
better, earning more, accomplishing more, and refusing to
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settle for a life that's smaller than your
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potential.
3:54
But achievement and fulfillment are not always the
3:57
same thing.
3:58
You can reach the goal and still feel
4:01
empty inside.
4:02
You can get the title and still feel
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empty.
4:05
You can make the money and still feel
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empty.
4:09
You can finally receive the recognition you've been
4:13
chasing and discover that applause doesn't automatically create
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meaning for you.
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That's why success becomes richer when it creates
4:23
value beyond you.
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Ask yourself a simple little question.
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Who benefits from what I'm building?
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If the answer is always me, maybe it's
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time to expand the definition of success in
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your life.
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Ambition doesn't have to become selfish.
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You can pursue your goals, relentlessly, and still
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care deeply about other people.
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In fact, I believe the two can strengthen
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each other.
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Think about the people helping you succeed right
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now in your life.
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Somebody introduced you to someone else.
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Somebody taught you something.
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Somebody gave you an opportunity.
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Somebody encouraged you.
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Somebody answered.
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Yes, somebody answered.
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Somebody answered your question.
5:14
Somebody believed in you when the outcome wasn't
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guaranteed.
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Did you notice them?
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Did you think about them?
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Gratitude keeps achievement in perspective because it reminds
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us that very few people truly accomplish everything
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alone.
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That's key.
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Don't become so focused on winning that you
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stop noticing the people around you.
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There's another challenge.
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Make room for somebody else's success.
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That's hard for a lot of people.
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Why should I celebrate your success?
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Well, when you celebrate somebody else's success, they
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automatically want to celebrate yours and you get
5:59
that great feeling.
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Someone else's win does not automatically become your
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loss.
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Helping somebody doesn't diminish your progress.
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If I give you an idea that helps
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you grow, I haven't lost my ability to
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grow.
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If I introduce you to somebody who could
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change your career, my career doesn't suddenly shrink.
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If I teach you something that took me
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10 years to learn, my experience doesn't suddenly
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disappear.
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Your experience can become somebody else's shortcut.
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Think about how powerful that is.
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Something that took you years of mistakes and
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frustrations, experimentation, and learning could save another person
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months or even years.
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Share it.
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Give people a hand when you can.
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Give credit generously too.
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You don't need to capture every ounce of
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recognition.
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If somebody contributed, say it.
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If somebody had the idea, acknowledge it.
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If somebody helped make the result possible, don't
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rewrite the story so you become the only
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hero.
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Confidence doesn't need to steal credit.
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And when people speak to you, listen to
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them.
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Not the kind of listening where you're silently
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preparing your next sentence.
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Really listen.
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And sometimes we're so busy proving how much
7:34
we know that we miss what another person
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is trying to tell us.
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That leads into something even bigger.
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Relationships should not become transactions.
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Do you know people who contact you only
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when they need something?
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Yep, we've all had those kind of people.
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The question is, what are we doing with
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those people?
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And I think that's something that, again, a
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lot of people today don't realize.
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Don't become that person.
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Stop measuring everybody by what they can do
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for you.
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One of the best things you can do
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is help somebody who can't help you.
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You might say, John, why do I want
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to do that?
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Because see, when you help other people, karma
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comes around.
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Karma pays back.
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Make people feel valued before you need something
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from them.
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Call someone because you actually care.
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Check in without asking for a favor.
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Congratulate someone for something that you want to
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be appreciative of.
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Maybe congratulate someone when there's nothing in it
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for you.
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Help someone without immediately calculating the return.
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I know some people, well, I don't want
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to spend time with him or her because
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they don't have anything that can help me.
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They don't have any money.
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They don't have any connections.
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There's nothing they can do for me.
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That's a terrible attitude.
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Because, you see, success without meaningful relationships can
9:06
become incredibly lonely.
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Imagine achieving everything you said you wanted, but
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having nobody you genuinely care about standing beside
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you when you get it.
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Was that really success?
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Influence also carries responsibility.
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As you become more successful, more people may
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listen to you.
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More people may follow your example.
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Your decisions may affect employees, customers, colleagues, family
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members, students, audiences, or even communities.
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What are you doing with that influence?
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Use what you've learned to make something better.
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That doesn't mean you need to solve every
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problem in the world.
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Start with what's in front of you right
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this very moment.
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Be present.
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Be aware.
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Help just one person.
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Can you teach just one lesson?
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Can you make just one introduction?
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Can you just encourage one person?
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Can you create something useful?
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Just one thing.
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Could you open a door when you have
10:19
the ability to open it?
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And periodically ask yourself, do my goals actually
10:25
reflect my values?
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Are my values and my goals in alignment?
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That's a powerful question because sometimes we're chasing
10:35
goals we haven't examined in years.
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Maybe you're pursuing something because somebody told you
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success was supposed to look that way.
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More money.
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Another title.
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Another award.
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Another client.
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Another accomplishment.
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There is nothing inherently wrong with any of
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these things, but don't sacrifice every meaningful relationship
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for another achievement.
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Make time for the people who matter in
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your life.
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I think that's important.
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You can always find another task to complete,
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right?
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There'll always be another email, project, phone call,
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deadline, opportunity, meeting, or even goal to achieve
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or make.
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Some moments with people don't come back.
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And while you're moving forward, notice who gets
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overlooked.
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Sometimes the person who needs encouragement isn't the
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loudest person in the team.
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Sometimes it's the employee whose work everyone takes
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for granted.
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The student who doesn't raise their hand.
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The person sitting alone.
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The friend who has quietly been struggling.
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The person doing excellent work without demanding recognition.
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Notice people.
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Small acts of generosity can have a lasting
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impact.
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A sincere thank you.
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A thoughtful introduction.
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Five minutes of advice.
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Give somebody a sincere compliment.
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Give somebody credit publicly.
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Remembering someone's name.
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Check in with them.
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Listen when they need to talk.
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You may forget doing it.
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They may remember it for years.
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People never remember what you said or what
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you did, but they'll always remember how you
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made them feel.
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That's influence, guys.
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And leadership isn't only about being followed.
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Leadership is also about what happens to people
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because you were there.
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Did they become more confident?
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Did they learn something?
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Did you create an opportunity?
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Did they feel respected?
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Did your presence make the situation better?
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Make your progress useful to somebody besides yourself.
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That's completely different in a way that we're
13:05
able to measure success.
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Instead of asking the question only, how far
13:13
did I get?
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Common question.
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How about what became possible for somebody else
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because I got here?
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I love that question.
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What became possible for somebody else because I
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actually got here?
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That's a pretty remarkable thing that many people
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don't realize.
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But you can do it.
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Because now your success has multiplication power built
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right into it.
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Lead people better than you found them.
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If you use a facility, leave it better
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or cleaner than you found it.
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That doesn't mean fixing everyone.
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It means bringing something positive into your human
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interactions.
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Respect, knowledge, encouragement, opportunity, honesty, energy, and yes,
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let's not forget kindness.
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Kindness doesn't cost anything to be kind, but
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has such a great priceless impact.
14:22
Sometimes, simply making another person feel seen can
14:26
matter more than you realize.
14:29
And build something you're proud of beyond the
14:31
numbers.
14:32
Numbers matter, revenue matters in business, growth matters,
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results matters, performance matters, but numbers cannot measure
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everything that matters.
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They don't completely measure trust.
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They don't measure the person you encouraged who
14:51
was ready to quit.
14:54
They don't measure the relationship you protected for
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years when it would have been easier to
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just walk away.
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They don't measure the knowledge you shared to
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help somebody succeed in life.
15:08
They don't measure the example you set when
15:12
nobody was watching.
15:14
And remember, guys, our weekly theme is your
15:18
actions are telling the truth about you, okay?
15:23
That's important.
15:25
You can say all day long that you
15:28
care about people.
15:30
Your actions tell us whether you really do.
15:36
You can say relationships matter.
15:39
Your calendar tells us whether they do.
15:42
You can say you're grateful the way you
15:46
treat people.
15:46
Who helped you tells us whether you really
15:49
are.
15:51
You can parade up and down the streets
15:54
and shout from the hills and say, I'm
15:57
a leader.
15:58
How people experience your leadership tells the real
16:03
story.
16:05
That's why today's message goes much deeper than
16:09
success.
16:10
It's about alignment.
16:12
You go to a networking event.
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It's not about how many business cards you
16:17
can get.
16:17
It's about the quality and the relationships, right?
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I have a philosophy, community first, relationships second,
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and business third.
16:27
If there is no community, how do you
16:32
build relationships?
16:32
If there's no relationships, how do you build
16:38
business?
16:41
So let's think about this for a moment.
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What are the steps to building, let's say,
16:47
a building?
16:47
What are the steps to building a building,
16:49
right?
16:51
There's a lot of steps, right?
16:53
So if we want to break it down,
16:55
first of all, we have to acquire the
16:57
land.
16:58
Then we have to pour a foundation.
17:02
Then the foundation has to be inspected to
17:04
ensure it meets the building codes.
17:06
Then we have to frame and structure work,
17:09
such as it could be metal, could be
17:11
wood, what have you.
17:12
Then after the framing, we have to install
17:14
mechanical systems, set up plumbing, electrical, and HVAC.
17:19
Then we have to do insulation and drywall.
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Then we have interior finishing.
17:23
Then we have to complete, and then it's
17:25
ready to be occupied.
17:27
So the steps, land acquisition, right?
17:30
Permits, site clearing, grading, leveling the site for
17:35
foundation.
17:36
Foundation, pouring and inspecting the foundation.
17:38
Framing, constructing the building's frame.
17:40
Mechanical system, installing the plumbing, electrical, HVAC.
17:43
Insulation, add insulation for energy and efficiency.
17:47
Install drywall for interior walls, right?
17:50
Interior finishes, complete with flooring, cabinets, fixtures.
17:53
Final inspections, ensure compliance with building codes.
17:56
Final walkthrough, review the building before occupancy.
18:00
And then the occupancy permit, obtain permission to
18:03
occupy the building.
18:05
So we can't start with a CO, right?
18:11
We can't start with framing if we don't
18:14
have a foundation.
18:16
The same way in networking, we can't start
18:19
with, hey, let's do business.
18:21
And I don't even know who you are
18:22
or what you stand for or what you're
18:24
about.
18:25
It's about alignment.
18:27
Does the way you're pursuing success match the
18:32
person you say you want to become?
18:34
I don't know.
18:35
I'm just asking.
18:37
Because you see, the strongest success creates value
18:41
that doesn't stop with you.
18:44
People that are looking for them are selfish.
18:49
I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of
18:51
yourself.
18:51
What I'm saying is we have to realize
18:54
that sometimes we have to help the other
18:57
person.
18:58
And by sometimes, I mean more than just
19:00
once, okay?
19:04
I think that's an important thing, but a
19:06
lot of people don't understand it, okay?
19:10
Because like I said, the strongest success creates
19:13
value that doesn't stop with just you, okay?
19:19
It moves outward.
19:22
It helps somebody.
19:25
It teaches somebody.
19:28
It encourages somebody.
19:30
It supports somebody.
19:32
It creates opportunities for somebody.
19:35
It strengthens relationships.
19:38
It improves something for somebody or somebodies.
19:42
And yes, guys, keep chasing your goals.
19:48
I don't want to tell you to give
19:49
up because you shouldn't.
19:51
But I also don't want to tell you
19:52
that it's going to be 1, 2, 3
19:54
as easy as pie, right?
19:57
When I go to these networking events, and
19:59
I choose them very selectively, when something doesn't
20:02
work properly, what are you supposed to do?
20:06
That's a big problem, a problem about how
20:11
you're not aligned with people, right?
20:14
I think that's a big challenge for a
20:16
lot of people today because they don't understand
20:19
these things.
20:20
They don't understand the fact that we need
20:21
to get to know somebody.
20:23
The reason we want community, when we work
20:26
on some community and we build community, people
20:30
say, hey, you know, you're like me.
20:31
And we start to build a little bit
20:32
of a bond in kind of rubbing elbows
20:35
with people that want to help the community.
20:37
Then they probably want to start to get
20:39
to know each other, relationship.
20:42
And then only, only if there's a need,
20:47
business may follow, either from them or recommending
20:50
someone else because, you know, I trust you.
20:53
I've been with you for a while.
20:54
I know what you stand for.
20:56
I didn't come off saying, hey, you know,
20:58
I want to sell you this.
21:04
That's not real.
21:06
Ladies and gentlemen, I invite you to dream
21:08
big.
21:10
I invite you to, I don't want to
21:12
just say work hard, work smartly hard.
21:14
So I don't want you to kill yourself,
21:15
but I want you to not be afraid
21:18
to put effort in, but do it smartly.
21:20
Build the company, write the book, which by
21:24
the way, I just did and I'm working
21:26
on another one.
21:27
Um, earn the degree, working on my next
21:31
one, take the stage.
21:34
I do that all the time.
21:36
Create the opportunity, make the money, reach higher,
21:43
raise the bar higher.
21:46
But when you arrive, don't look around and
21:49
discover that you climb the entire mountain alone
21:54
because you know what ladies and gentlemen, you
21:55
treat everyone else like they were either competition
22:00
or stepping stone.
22:02
Bring people with you, share what you know,
22:07
recognize who helped you give credit.
22:12
Practice gratitude, protect meaningful relationships.
22:17
You might say, John, why do I need
22:18
to do this?
22:22
When you exhibit karma, karma comes back to
22:27
you.
22:28
You know, there's a lot of people I
22:30
coach and I talk about gratitude with, and
22:32
they don't want to have gratitude.
22:35
They think it's a waste of time.
22:49
They think it's a waste of time.
22:54
And I feel sorry for those people because
22:57
maybe they got dealt some bad cards.
23:02
Maybe people didn't help them, but that doesn't
23:04
mean you shouldn't help other people.
23:08
Okay.
23:10
Protect those meaningful relationships.
23:13
And use your success to create something that
23:17
continues beyond yourself.
23:20
Time for some more water.
23:21
This water is good, by the way.
23:22
Seven times filtered RO water with a fresh
23:24
lemon.
23:31
When you farm or you raise any type
23:35
of vegetables or fruits, you don't plant and
23:39
pick tomorrow.
23:40
It takes time.
23:42
So what do I mean by that, guys?
23:44
What are the stages of, let's say, yielding,
23:51
let's say, apples or fruit from planting?
23:57
What are the stages?
23:59
So there are a lot of stages, right?
24:02
Planting and waiting.
24:06
We have the season.
24:08
So once established, the tree enters a recurring
24:10
yearly cycle to yield fruit.
24:12
Winter dormancy.
24:13
The tree rests and requires a specific number
24:15
of chilling hours.
24:16
Cold temperature to trigger future bud development.
24:19
Buds break in spring development, March and May.
24:22
Buds swell and open into silver and green
24:24
tips, eventually forming tight flower clusters.
24:28
We're talking about flowers.
24:30
We're talking about apples or what have you.
24:32
Bloom and pollination, April and May.
24:36
The first central flowers open up, followed by
24:38
surrounding blossoms.
24:39
Bees cross-pollinate the flowers using pollen from
24:42
compatible nearby apple variety.
24:46
Fruit sets in June drops.
24:48
Late spring, fertilized flower drop their petals and
24:52
begin forming tiny and developing fruitlets.
24:57
Tree naturally sheds excess small fruits, June drops.
25:01
And growers manually thin remaining clusters so individual
25:05
fruits get enough nutrients.
25:07
You don't pick them early.
25:07
You also don't pick before they're ready.
25:10
Summer growth, fruits swell, expand in size, and
25:13
develop their characteristical green, yellow, or red skin
25:16
color.
25:18
Autumn ripening and harvest.
25:20
Late summer, fall, sugars concentrate inside the fruit.
25:23
As it reaches full maturity, apples are hand
25:26
-picked when they reach optimum firmness, color, and
25:30
ease of separation from the branch.
25:34
A lot of work, right?
25:36
A lot, a lot of work.
25:41
Because achievement can tell you, ladies and gentlemen,
25:43
what you accomplished.
25:45
Use success to create something that continues beyond
25:48
you.
25:49
Fulfillment tells you why it matters so much.
25:56
But people that want to go pick fruit
25:58
right away, that's a problem, guys.
26:01
It's a huge problem.
26:05
There are times.
26:10
Things have cycles.
26:14
And sometimes we have to wait for those
26:16
cycles.
26:17
Other times, it's a matter of us being
26:20
ready to act, right?
26:23
You hear life is about a numbers game,
26:25
right?
26:26
Numbers game.
26:27
But I've found that even though it's a
26:29
numbers game, if you're kind to people, they
26:32
remember you.
26:34
Practice gratitude every single day.
26:38
Ladies and gentlemen, I am John C.
26:42
Morley.
26:42
Serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, author,
26:46
and so much more.
26:49
And I want you to remember something for
26:53
me today.
26:54
Do you know what that is?
26:56
It's really simple.
27:00
Your actions are telling the truth about you
27:06
every single day.
27:09
Not just on the good days.
27:10
So let's make every day an amazing day.
27:13
Make sure they're telling a story you're proud
27:17
to share, to live, and be part of.
27:22
Too many times people say to me, oh,
27:24
John, I don't like my life story.
27:26
Change it, right?
27:30
A wise person once said to me, John,
27:31
if you're not part of the solution, you
27:35
know the end.
27:36
You are part of the problem.
27:39
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoy this
27:43
kickoff to October, which starts tomorrow.
27:46
And I hope it'll be a great season
27:49
coming up.
27:50
Until next time, please stay driven, keep growing,
27:54
keep helping others grow.
27:55
And you know what, ladies and gentlemen, I'm
27:56
going to see you guys on another episode
27:58
real soon.
27:59
And don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieve.com.
28:03
Take care, everyone.
28:29
Bye.