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Healing-2 · Brewing Better Marriages

• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Brewing Better Marriages from T South Dakota with Philip and Debbie Sanders.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: If these podcasts have been a help to you, pass it on to others.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Let us know with an email, and also include any questions you might have on the subjects that we cover.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: A word you will hear often is honorable.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: And honorable means what, hon?
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Honored, esteemed, precious, costly.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: This is combating the spirit of our age, which is a non-committal attitude.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: Make a commitment to your marriage.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: We're going to stick it out.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: Last session we dealt with this subject of healing God's way.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: We're not going to go back and rehash everything that we went through all of these podcasts, but we're going to talk about having a healing God's way.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: And there's three points to that.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: What are they, Deb?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Focus, faithfulness, and forgiveness.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: We talked about how that, especially after you've been married for years and you saw the flaws and the issues that each other have, it brings to us a scar or a wound, those flaws do.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: And what we've got to consider constantly is that we don't want to carry them throughout our marriage.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: It'll affect us, it'll affect our relationship, it'll affect our children.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: So one of the first places and one of the first things we must do is focus.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: Focus on where those wounds are.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: And it may be a little bit, it may be a little hurtful to pull back and go back to where, okay, God, show me what's the issue here.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: Why are we having problems with our relationship?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: What's some of the scriptures, hon?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: 1 John 1 7 says, But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ, his son, cleanseth us from all sin.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_02: Fellowship's a wonderful thing, isn't it?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know what fellowship?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: I've kind of simply defined that as two fellows in a ship, and we're both going the same direction.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: And the problem lies if we start going in opposite directions, and sometimes that comes because it hurts, that that it's just a battle.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: If you've ever canoed, you know how that don't work.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, paddling in different directions, both of you.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: So first John says, if we're going to have fellowship with one another, we're first of all going to have to depend on the blood of Jesus Christ.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: What's Galatians 5 say?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Galatians 5 22 says, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance, against such there is no law.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have all those in your life every day?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I strive.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: Some days are better than others.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think that goes with every one of us.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: That we strive to have each one of these love, joy, peace, long suff ooh, long suffering's a tough one in marriage, isn't it?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: It sure is.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: You didn't have to be card right there.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just being agreeable.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_02: But all of these come as we're baptized in the power of the Holy Ghost, then He emanates those things from us.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I really kind of look at these fruit of the Spirit as you have one big cluster, which is love.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_02: That is the one big fruit right there.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: But coming out of love is what are the rest of those?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: If we have love, then all of these things are going to follow.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: The agape love.
• 4:15
  unknown: Right.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not just talking about love to each other, but love to Christ.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: As we put in the very beginning, I typify a relationship in a marriage as a triangle.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_02: He is over here on the right, she is over here on the left.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: God is the epitome, he's the peak.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: And as we get closer and closer to God, that brings us closer and closer to each other.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: I can remember long time ago, I think it was probably Bible school days, or sh shortly after we were married, I can hear your dad's saying, if you have a problem with each other, you have a problem in your relationship with God.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I've never forgot that because so many times it's easy to blame whoever you see every morning and every night.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: See the one you're struggling with and and feel like you're all right.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's all they're all wrong.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're struggling and if you get the struggle to take it to the Lord, and I can remember also as a young married woman, and I'd have an issue or something, and I'd say, talk to my well, I did marry you, and I'd talk to mom about it, and she'd say, Give it to God, give it to God, give him to God, give him to God.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: And God can do things nobody else can.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: That's the truth.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: He's really changed you, hun.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: I knew that was coming.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: What does Ephesians 4 and 32 say?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: And be ye kind.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, guys, we live in a dog-eat dog world, and we go out there in that world and we try to get ahead.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you do.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you try to succeed in whatever your skill set is.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes, you know, we come home and we forget those words, and they are kind, tenderhearted, loving.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: We forget those words when it comes to our wives and even sometimes to our children.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I'll never forget an illustration I read that there was a fellow that worked in the coal mines, and he had a certain jacket that he would wear.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: And every day when he'd come home, he'd hang it on a nail on the porch.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: One day his son said, Dad, how come you do that?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: And he said, It's not just because it's dirty, son.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's simply because I'm taking all of my problems, all of my strivings, all of my difficulties, and leaving them outside the door of the house.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to carry them in there and let it affect you.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so we have to focus on where our issue is.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: Is it love?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Is it joy?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Have you lost your joy in your marriage?
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Are you still striving to accept that love?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: How about the long-suffering or even tenderness, kindness, compassion?
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: All of these are in the scriptures that we've just read to you.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: And if you have, then go back and focus on that, honey.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: You know, who is it the one that apologizes the most around here?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: Me.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: You would say that.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_02: How do we stop this vicious cycle that we get into?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: The one is just coming, it's hard to stay angry at somebody or still have an issue with somebody when you're saying what?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm sorry, please forgive me.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: I shouldn't have reacted that way.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: And so where this issue of the scar is in your life, maybe what you need to do is go back to her or go back to him and say what, hon?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or I'm sorry for that action.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: I want you to forgive me and uh focus on that.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, not that you have to apologize uh ten times in a day or every day for the rest of your marriage.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: But but go back and take responsibility for the action that you had.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: And and that's that brings us to focus.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: But the second one is what?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Faithfulness.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Faithfulness.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: Now we talk about faithfulness, and and here's some scriptures for that.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: 1 John 1 9 says, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: He is what?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Who is he?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus is faithful.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, he is.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: So if he's preeminent in our life, we are going to be what?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: Faithful.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Faithful.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: 1 John 2 1 says, My little children, these things write I unto you that ye sin not.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father Jesus Christ the righteous.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, look how faithful he is to forgive us of what we do.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: Shouldn't we be faithful to each other?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: If we're going to be Christ like.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that word faithful comes to immorality most of the time.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_02: And that's and it does happen in our society today.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: But you know what?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's not only that, it's the small things.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: If you'll start with the small things, that will keep the big things from coming into your life.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: So focus on what you need to deal with, and then be faithful to forgive.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Be faithful for that.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: That leads us to our next point and our final point on this, which is what?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: Forgiveness.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: Forgiveness.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_01: Matthew 6, 12, 14, and 15 says, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Forgive men their trespasses as your father forgives you.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Forgive men, forgive women too.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: But well, yes, but if ye forgive not, neither will your father forgive you.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: Boy, that's pretty stout.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_02: Now we look at that in all our relationship out here in the world.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: But now we're talking about our marriage.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: If you're not faithful to forgive him, and if you're not faithful to forgive her, then God just says it this way.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm sorry, but I can't be, I can't forgive you.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't that how he said it?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: And if he's forgiven you of your trespasses or your sins, then why shouldn't you be faithful to forgive others of theirs?
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Matthew 18, 21 says, Well, Peter asks, how often should we forgive?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Twice a day.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus said 70 times 70, which is 490 times in one day.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't been keeping it tally.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: But we've got to.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: We have to.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: Now I want to read a few sources of scripture that that really was emphasized to me in preparing for this.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_02: Isaiah 53, 4 and 5.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: It says, Surely he hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: We apply this to the sins that we've committed against Christ Himself.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I understand he took that for us to the cross.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: But this even applies to our marriage griefs.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_02: What grief are you carrying?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Is that one of those wounds that you need healed?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: Is that one of those things that you've never got over?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: Not only did he say he has borne our griefs, but he's carried our sorrows.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had sorrows in our marriage, Deb?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, definitely.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I don't know a marriage that wouldn't have sorrows in the world somewhere along the way at times.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and I'm not talking about sorrows of somebody passing, although that covers that also.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not talking about sorrows of somebody out here.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_02: We just not have enough money, so I'm sorrowful.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: It comes in our relationships.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we just carry something and it creates a sorrowful attitude in our life.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: But he said, and then it said, yeah, we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: But this is the wonderful part, is Isaiah 53 and 5.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: But he was wounded.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: His wounds carry all this for our transgressions.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_02: Even in our marriage, he was wounded for the problems that you can't get over.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: And he was bruised for what?
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: For our bruising.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_02: For our what we has something been said that hurts you, that caused a bruise to come up in your in your spirit?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's took that on himself.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: For our iniquities, the chastisement, and the word chastisement, means a reproof or instruction.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: How do I get to where I need to get to have peace in my life?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: He's already carried it.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: All you have to do is go to him.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: This world needs peace.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Our nation surely needs peace.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_02: Man, there's a whole lot of our churches that need peace.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: But involved in that is our marriages needing peace.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: Our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are what?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: Healed.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: Healed.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: That word healed means we're mended or cured.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_02: So in your marriage you can be healed.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: Peter, first Peter two and nineteen said, for this is thankworthy if a man for conscience toward God endure grief and suffering wrongfully.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_02: Now I'm applying this to our marriage.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: For what glory is it if when he buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: But if ye do well and suffer for it, take it patiently.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: This is acceptable with God.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: For even hereunto were ye called, because Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example, then we should follow in his steps.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: But listen to verse 22.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: He did not sin, or who did no sin, neither was Guile found in his mouth.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: twenty-three, who, when he was reviled, reviled not again.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judges righteously, who his own self bear our sins in his own body on the tree, that we being dead to sins, we should live unto righteousness, by whose stripes ye were healed.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: So healing can come.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_02: All of these things that we carry around.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: That scar can be put away.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: You can be healed from that.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: That wound that was there, you can be healed from that.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_02: Jesus has paid the price.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: Amen.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening in.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: We appreciate this.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_02: We hope it's been a blessing to you.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: Please let us know with an email.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Email at sandersministries at gmail.com.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_02: Or just go to our website, sanders dash ministries.org.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: That is sanders dash ministries.org.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks again for tuning in.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_02: God bless you.