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Replay: When Nothing Is Wrong, But Everything Is Changing · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

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Hello and welcome back to Just Be True, a soul
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-led podcast. And this podcast was born from
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a deep desire to live authentically, to strip
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away the masks, the expectations, the old stories,
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and remember who we truly are. In each episode,
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we explore what it means to live in harmony with
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your soul's truth through real conversations,
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intuitive guidance, and powerful moments of reflection.
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And so today, we are here to talk about the understanding,
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the quiet internal shifts after survival mode.
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So there's a season that doesn't get talked about
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enough. It's the season where nothing is falling
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apart, nothing dramatic is happening, there's
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no crisis to solve, and yet something inside
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of you feels very different. You look around
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and you think everything's fine. So why do I
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feel so unsettled? If that's where you are right
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now or something that you have been recently
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experienced and even if you found yourself in
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a whirlwind of change, this episode is definitely
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for you. Today we are going to talk about what
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happens after survival mode. The quiet internal
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shift That comes when the urgency fades But the
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identity you built during that urgency still
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hasn't quite caught up with you Survival mode
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is sneaky. I'm sorry. Sometimes it looks like
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chaos Sometimes it looks like high performance.
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Sometimes it looks like being the strong one,
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the capable one, the one who handles everything.
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You know, when you're in survival mode, that's
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what you do. You do all of those things, right?
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You deal with the chaos, the high performance,
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being the strong one, the capable one, the one
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that makes everything happen. And in survival
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mode, you move because you have to. Your nervous
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system is activated. Your focus is sharp. You
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are solving you're fixing managing holding and
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often You don't even realize it until you're
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in the middle of it you know or until you're
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done with it like like the Survival mode is done
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and over with and that's when you realize how
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tight and wound up you've been right and because
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survival mode can last for months years sometimes
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decades and then one day it softens here's the
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part no one is prepared for is when that crisis
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ends when the financial stress stabilizes when
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the relationship tension shifts when the job
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transition settles Your body doesn't immediately
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relax It doesn't trust calm right away because
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calm feels very unfamiliar Right. You've been
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running on purpose on responsibility on urgency
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and now Now there's a space and space can feel
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disorienting you might notice your motivation
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dips, the feel of emotional for no clear reason.
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Right? You may question yourself even more. You
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may question your decisions or you may even question
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your emotions or how you're feeling about something.
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You may feel restless even when nothing is wrong.
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And your mind might say, why am I like this?
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I should be better by now. The stress is over.
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We got that maintained. You know, that is done
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and over with. Right? What you're going through
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isn't regression. It's an integration. Integration
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is what happens when your body finally feels
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safe enough to stop performing strength. It's
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the exhale you've postponed for years. It's the
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tears that didn't have time to fall. And it's
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the nervous system asking, can we rest now? And
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sometimes rest feels terrifying when you've known
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it all along. When the only thing that you can
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remember for the past months and decades and
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years is is motion, stress, overwhelminess, and
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overdoing, that rest can feel very terrifying.
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So integration is what happens when your body
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and your nervous system finally has a space to
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process what your mind pushed through. When you
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are surviving, You didn't have the luxury of
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feeling everything. You had to move, you had
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to make decisions, you had to handle it, you
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had to stay upright, keeping things going and
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keeping you in motion. And now that that urgency
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is softened, like that urgency is no longer there,
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your body is saying, okay, now can we process?
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And processing? doesn't always look productive.
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It can look like sudden waves of emotion, fatigue
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that you can't explain, questioning decisions
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that you've already made, and craving stillness
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but also feeling uncomfortable in it. Many of
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us have had moments where we had stillness or
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downtime and felt out of sorts, in strange territory,
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and unable to appreciate the moments of stillness
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to relax, to truly allow the body to release
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the tension that it's been holding onto. Integration
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in your system reorganizes itself through safety
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instead of pressure. Imagine that. Is your identity
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loosening the grip of who you had to be so you
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can discover who you are without bracing? And
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that can feel messy and unstable because the
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old drive, the one that fueled by adrenaline
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are proving is starting to dissolve. And the
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new drive, the one rooted in alignment and calm,
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hasn't fully formed yet. So you sit in this strange
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in -between space, less reactive, less urgent,
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but not fully clear. And that space, that space
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is sacred. It's where the nervous system learns
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to pace. And that peace is not a threat. It's
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where your energy has the time to recalibrate.
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And it's where your next vision of yourself begins
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to take shape quietly without forcing it. And
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it's okay to take time here to breathe in with
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that calm. So here's what's really happening.
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The version of you that knew how to survive is
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gently stepping back. And that identity can be
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hard to release. Maybe you were the fixer, the
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provider, the strong one, the overachiever, the
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one who never falls apart. Who are you when you
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are not needed in the same way? Who are you when
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you are not proving your resiliency? And who
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are you when strength isn't required, only presence?
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These questions can feel very destabilizing.
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And it's also where freedom lives. that version
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of you that was so powerful, but she was built
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for a specific season, right? And now something
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softer is emerging, something that doesn't operate
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from urgency, something that doesn't need to
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be proven, something that doesn't thrive on pressure,
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and that can feel like losing yourself. But it
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isn't. It's a becoming. Becoming who you are
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meant to be. Calm, collective, mindful, and relaxed
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in life. You were never created to be in survival
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mode and on high alert. So I completely understand
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being in that survival mode. I lived it for decades
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and way, way too long. I am actually still in
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the process of regulating to this new version
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of who I am. And even though this process can
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be emotional at times, and believe me, it is,
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I am enjoying the new version of me that is arising.
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And I am enjoying observing this process. So
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some of you may know, I worked for the federal
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government for 22 years until I was laid off
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last April. And when I left my 22 -year career,
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I was actually relieved. I felt the best I had
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felt in a long time. I walked out of there in
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an amazing mood. I was happy. I was... Felt uplifted
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I had co -workers calling me crying and I was
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like on top of the world and they just couldn't
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talk to me Because I wasn't in that sad I Wasn't
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in that space Right, I actually felt relieved
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I know that That layoff was the was a blessing
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and something in my soul had been yearning for.
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But the aftermath of that, the allowing myself
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to pause, to slow down, and the recalibration,
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that part has been the challenge. I was used
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to being on all the time. I was a leader, I was
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a supervisor, I was a decision maker in my career.
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I oversaw staff, contracts, grants, organizational
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budgets. It was a tremendous amount of responsibility
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and it was an atmosphere in which I thrived in.
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I was a go -getter and I loved being in the know
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and the go -to person that everyone could depend
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on. I loved that and I thrived in that space.
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I was trained to think quickly. to respond immediately,
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to anticipate problems before they even surfaced,
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my body was conditioned to stay alert. And then,
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and then it was all gone. No staff meetings,
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no crisis emails, no decisions waiting for me
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to take care of, and my nervous system did not
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know what to do with that. and still, and still
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doesn't sometimes. You know, and there is no
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timeframe of how quickly we should regulate from
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being in that survival mode, being in that state
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of relaxation and being. There's no timeline.
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There are moments when I catch myself expecting
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to be on. You know, scanning for the urgencies,
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waiting for something to require me to be in
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that on mood the same way. But there is no on.
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Not anymore. Now, you may be saying, Summer,
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come on, look. Look at everything you're doing.
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You have a business, you have a podcast, you
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do blogs, you do classes. You're constantly creating.
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And you're absolutely right. But there's a difference.
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Before I was operating on responsibility, on
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the having to, the requirement to, the expectation
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of. But now I operate from resonance. I operate
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from what feels right. Before I was operating
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on responsibility, pure responsibility. before
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my energy was outward and driven, now it's aligned
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and flowing. I don't feel overwhelmed. I don't
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feel pressured. This all feels very easy and
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very welcoming. What I'm building now often feels
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different in my body. It doesn't feel like bracing.
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It doesn't feel like proving. It doesn't feel
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like I'm carrying any weight. Today, what I'm
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doing feels like expression, very fulfillment,
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and stepping out and doing things new. It feels
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like I'm moving because I want to. Not because
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I have to. And that shift from pressure to purpose
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takes recalibration. And it takes time. So when
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my system flares up, and believe me it does,
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when anxiety shows up without a reason, I don't
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shame it. I pause. I breathe through it. Deep
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breaths. Deep belly breaths. Slow, integrated
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breathing. And I remind myself, I am safe in
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this new space. I connect with that anxiety,
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that overwhelming feeling, and I ask, where is
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it coming from? And I listen. Realizing that
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this is not collapse, but understanding that
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this is expansion without force. And I am still
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learning how to live in this space. And I don't
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strive for perfection, accolades, or rewards.
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I strive for fulfillment and doing what I am
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called to do and doing what feels right for my
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soul. You know and I give you permission to do
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the exact same thing. So you know there can also
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be grief in this space. Grief from the adrenaline,
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grief from the version of you who held everything
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together, grief from the identity that gave you
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structure. Even if you don't want that life back
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even if you're very grateful that it's over and
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you can't even imagine going back There's still
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a letting go that has to take place and that
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letting go can feel like Floating in between
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those two worlds You know not who you were Not
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who you're fully becoming. You're just kind of
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in the middle And that middle space again is
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very sacred. Even if it feels uncomfortable,
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it's very sacred. And it's where you're adjusting
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and learning and becoming the new version of
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you. And allowing that grief to flow is so important.
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Don't ignore it. Don't shame it. Be with it and
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allow it. When we live in survival mode long
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enough, our nervous system begins to equate safety
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with alertness. Your system learned that being
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kept alert kept you safe. Being needed kept you
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valued. Being productive kept you secure. So
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when things get quiet, your body can begin to
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whisper, are we missing something? Is something
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about to go wrong? Like we're waiting for that
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next shoe to drop. So when things come down and
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the body can interpret that as unfamiliarity
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and that unfamiliar can feel very unsafe. This
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is why you might create problems in your mind.
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You might feel anxious when things are quiet.
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You might want to look for something to fix.
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Your body is recalibrating. This is not weakness.
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This is not failure. This is rewriting. And this
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phase requires gentleness. So please give yourself
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grace as you're moving through this change. So
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instead of forcing clarity, instead of demanding
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motivation, Instead of trying to figure out what's
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next, what if you allow this to be a transition,
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a repattering, a resting? What if nothing's wrong?
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Imagine that. What if your system is simply learning
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how to exist without bracing? Oh, that feels
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like a breath of fresh air. There is strength
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in the selfness. There is power in not pushing
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and there is wisdom in letting your next self
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arrive slowly. No need to rush. Be in that flow
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of allowance and acceptance and get comfortable
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with the stillness and with the quiet. This is
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often the space where people come to me, not
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because something's broken, but because something
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is shifting. The urgency is gone, but the identity
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hasn't quite caught up. And in energy work and
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sound baths and nervous system support, through
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counseling and through Reiki and through, you
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know, my spiritual life coaching. What we're
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really doing is helping the body feel safe enough
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to soften We're not fixing or stabilizing we're
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allowing that integration and Sometimes that's
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the most important work here So I say find you
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someone that you can work with someone that you
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trust someone that resonates with you And allow
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your body your nervous system to go through this
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transition of healing and stabilizing so if you're
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listening right now notice your shoulders notice
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your jaw notice if you're subtly bracing Are
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you holding tension in these areas? Now take
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a slow deep breath in. Long exhale out. Let your
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body practice being safe for 10 seconds. Listen,
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10 seconds. And if you're in a season where nothing
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is falling apart, but you feel different, uncertain,
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quieter, more emotional, or even less driven
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than before, it's okay. Allow yourself to pause.
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Place one hand on your heart. two if you need
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to and remind yourself this is not a breakdown
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this is recalibration you survived and now you're
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learning to live without bracing and that may
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be the bravest work you've ever done. It takes
24:20
time and it is perfectly okay and you are allowed.
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So if this episode resonated with you I invite
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you to sit with it gently this week and if you
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need support during your integration season You
24:45
can find my sessions and offering on my website,
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just -be -true .com. I encourage you to find
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someone to work with, someone that you feel safe
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with, someone that you're comfortable with. It
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doesn't have to be me, but it needs to be someone.
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Even if it's a friend just to help you work through
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it. It's perfectly fine. So we're still in season
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one. Next episode is episode three, Grief. When
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love, life, and identity change. And that's going
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to be released on March 12th so please be on
25:30
the lookout for it. The newsletter that supports
25:35
episode two will come out next Tuesday, which
25:40
I believe is March 3rd. So if you haven't signed
25:47
up for my newsletter or my blogs, check out the
25:51
show notes. The show notes are gonna have links
25:53
to my website, the newsletter sign up, and so
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much more. So to support your journey and your
26:03
navigation through life and what's going on.
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So just be true to you The rest will align I
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promise and believe in this next version of you
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that is continuing to unfold And until next time
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thank you for being here. Thank you for listening,
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and I will see you on March 12