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Transcript

Embrace Your White Wolf · Divine Dialogue

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back, Divine Listeners.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: So we've made it to week three and episode three of this Balto series here.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for coming back to the Divine Dialogue Podcast.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: This episode I'm real excited to get into.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably gonna be my favorite of the series.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um it is I kind of combined two scenes that are pretty close together here because I think that they bridge uh beautifully.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to go ahead and combine them.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: I originally had them separated, but I decided to put them together.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: So at this point in the story, um, as I said at the end of the last episode, um episode two with the Northern Lights, um, Balto has been searching for Steele and his team in the Alaskan wilderness for quite a while.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um he's been marking the trail on trees as he goes, basically scratching them up with his paws.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then he does see a light from the sled um at the bottom of a snowy bank where basically Steele had um panicked about being lost, and he had led the team into uh essentially like a downward um, you know, snowy bank, and and the mush, uh the musher guy that was leading the team, he's unconscious on the ground, and the dogs are basically just standing around frozen and terrified.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um Balto sees them, slides down that uh hill to the bank, and he offers his help to Steele, but Steele is extremely aggressive and agitated.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um he's shaking from the cold, but he's insisting basically everyone's fine and they don't need any help.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um Balto pushes back, you know, pretty gently, and he insists on taking back the medicine because the kids are getting sicker.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And Steele says, this is a direct quote, touch that box and I'll rip you apart.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then Balto keeps trying to get near the box, and Steele attacks him multiple times.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um after a few moments, Steele finds himself backed up against the edge of a small cliff.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and Jenna had tried to go with Balto to help him, but she ends up getting hurt earlier in the story, and she had given Balto a scarf to wear around his neck.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was a red scarf, and Steele yanks at that scarf, and he falls backwards down quite a ways even further.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and once Steele is gone, the other dogs line up behind Balto, and they are pulling the sled away, as Steele says to himself and out loud, Go ahead, wolf dog, you'll never get home.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'll make sure of that.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then Steele proceeds to scratch up all the trees that Balto had marked around, so that Balto can't tell which is which.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And Balto gets lost, he panics, he runs, and he ends up falling off the mountain with the crate of medicine.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, then we meet the white wolf, which is the wild part of him that's been shamed and minimized up to this point.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: And as he's lying down in the snow crying, essentially feeling like he failed Rosie and Jenna, uh, the part that he needs the most shows up and calls him house to him.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, so this is very deep and impressive storytelling, divine listeners.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is gonna take a minute to get through.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: So for those of you who thought that this podcast was going to be like purely peaceful and roses and shun sunshine, it's not.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really believe there are times when you are faced with energy that cannot be negotiated with, um, it cannot be accommodated, and the only option is to fight, stand your ground, hopefully win.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one of those times.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Steele has shown us indicators that he is crazy.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and what I mean by that is he is quite literally possessed um by a combination of superiority and inferiority um that he's running at the same time.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Superior because dogs are preferred in the town, but inferior because Steele knows there's something special about Balto, even though the community around them all tried to snuff it out.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he knows deep down that Jenna likes Balto, and he knows deep down that Balto is special.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's why it drives him crazy.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And he strives to maintain like this false hierarchy, um, to the point of endangering and potentially killing the kids that are afflicted with this disease in the town to keep this hierarchy standing so that he can be at the top of it.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I feel like Balto should have been more aware of how crazy Steele really was and dealt with him rather than trying to reach the box and getting knocked down multiple times.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Balto really underestimated Steele, and he honestly probably couldn't fathom how crazy he really was, but this does lead into the next scene well because Steele follows through on his madness even further.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's the thing with ego, like some people their egos are limited and they won't go all the way.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: But Steele is one of those that's like, okay, so he didn't stop at trying to hoard the medicine.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So Balto's able to get the medicine.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: He actually tries to um thwart their attempts to get home.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: So he's like, Well, if I can't take the medicine home, you can't take the medicine home.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also interesting because fear takes over Balto kind of much the same way it took over Steele when he ended up falling down the bank.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Like he gets scared because he approaches the, you know, um crossroads of where he had marked the trees.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you could say it's kind of dog energy.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then by the way, I love dogs, nothing against dogs at all.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but for the purposes of this movie, fear overtakes him in the same kind of way.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because Steele's like, I'm not lost, and Balto's like, I'm not lost.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it's a good ego version of Steele, essentially.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like, he's like, because Balto really wants to get home and he really cares about those kids.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: But with Steele, it's more like, how dare you challenge my leadership?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not gonna get lost, and Balto's more like, I can't get lost because people are depending on me.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: But it's still a fear energy.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And this causes Balto to bolt dangerously ahead, and he ends up going down the mountain with the crate of medicine.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: He's able to grab it with his uh teeth, but the the basically the edge of the cliff gives way and he falls.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I find it very interesting that the medicine falls with him, because his medicine is literally the white wolf that he encounters at the bottom of the mountain.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: So he has a physical box of medicine with him when he receives his spiritual medicine, which I always thought was really cool.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so does my cat.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the white wolf does basically what our higher selves do all the time.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like it speaks, but it doesn't force anything.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the white wolf howls, and then Balto turns his head away.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the white wolf doesn't try to force integration, it walks away but doesn't abandon.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: It just gives Balto the space to realize hey, I'm here with you.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm at the bottom of the mountain.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: You are at your lowest point, and I'm here.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's gonna be okay.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and also, like right before this, Jenna had set up the northern lights, and so we basically see all these pieces falling into place.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me, I'm going to briefly remove my cat here.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, so at some point, maybe she can be a co-host, but not right now.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so essentially, Balto, um, like Jenna is trying to call him home with his northern lights as well.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she's positioned them for him.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then um Balto meets his white wolf but turns away.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the wolf walks just a little bit away from him.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then we didn't cover this part of the story, but essentially earlier, um, Boris had said to him when he was gonna go off alone to find Steele and his team because Jenna ends up getting hurt, so they take her home.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: But Boris says to him, Let me tell you something, Balto.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: A dog cannot make this journey alone, but maybe a wolf can.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And he hears that come back to him.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something that is so true.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when we're at our lowest, I've had this happen where something profound will come into like your energy space, and you'll be like, Oh yeah, that, you know, and it it resonates, it like gives you chills, it just like settles in you.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but when he says that line, the let me tell you something, a dog cannot make this journey alone, but maybe a wolf can, that's where both his dog part and wolf part join into wholeness, and he is finally who he is without the shame, without the resistance.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: He just is Balto.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And we hear the music swell, and Balto steps into the footprint of the white wolf and he howls.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So he's made peace with and accepted his inner wolf finally.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that integration and wholeness is what he needed to, you know, keep making the journey, um, which is exactly why a dog cannot make this journey alone.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like, right, we even know the wolf is described as the lone wolf, um, the wolf representing the wild self.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're untamed and unashamed and wild, but you know, free-flowing, um, you can make a lot of journeys by yourself that um you wouldn't be able to make in your dog state.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it's the part of you that's really needed when things get very difficult.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And after he integrates that, he's able to, again, beautiful symbolism, carry the medicine up the mountain.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he's able to know which way to go to get home.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: He just knows because he's no longer trapped in the fear part of himself, which is the dog part.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: He has his wild instinct, which I also think is divine feminine energy, because he barked the trees like as a very, it was a very logistical masculine attempt, you know, to guide himself home.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: But that can be corrupted because it's in the form world.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: But your intuition, your gut feeling, your knowing, if it's actually integrated and balanced and settled inside, can't be corrupted.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: So he's able to sense where to go, he just knows.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I think in terms of the film, essentially the dog part is the mind, and the wolf part is the soul.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I don't know if you've ever heard this quote, but and I don't know who said it, but there's a quote that says the mind is a beautiful servant, but a terrible leader, and that's why it cannot make the journey alone.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: It needs the soul to guide it.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And once Balto remembers that and integrates that, he really can't be stopped.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we even see him get creative later when they traverse through um the icicle's cave, like he's able to keep the medicine box from falling apart with wild instinct, like he uses an icicle that drops into the you know ice below them, and he uh basically uses it as a springboard to go and close the box.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like when if he was in his fear state, he probably wouldn't have even had that creative impulse to do that.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's the wild instinct, it's the wolf that makes it possible for him to lead the dogs home.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's literally leading the um the sled team.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's at the helm of the sled team, so he's the soul, and the dogs are the mind, and he's leading them home.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like he's got the medicine, so everyone's gonna be okay.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, they're gonna be healed, and he's the leader.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: The soul is the leader, and the mind follows the instinct of the soul, or if you want to put it in energetic terms, um the mind, the masculine follows the feminine guidance.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Feminine is actually the leader.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I know in the world we have kind of been raised to think that masculine is the leader, like that's the patriarchal system, but actually um the feminine is the leader, that's the intuition, that's the guidance system, that's your your soul, or you know, that's why I named this podcast the Divine Dialogue Podcast, because I think it's the it speaks to the divinity that I think is in all of us, and words kind of fall short to explain that.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know, I don't even know exactly what I'm talking about when I say soul in divinity, it's just it's that intuition, it's that thing that illuminates from inside, like when you have an experience.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like for me, it's in the stories, I feel it all the time, and I make connections to it in my own life, which will go ahead and lead us into uh this personal mirror.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I haven't encountered exactly steel energy in the sense of the exact same madness, but I can say, and this is going to be very personal, but it's the personal mirror section, so that's good.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that my father is this kind of energy, um, not to be negotiated with, but to be severed from.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that is something that we really get mixed up with in our culture.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: We kind of hear all the time that um you have to forgive, and forgive always means you have to allow access into your life, um, which is involves negotiation uh to keep someone in your life.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: But some people you're definitely better off severing from.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't matter what position they hold or title they hold in your life, sometimes they need to be severed.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but anyway, back to my dad.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: So he became crazier and crazier um as years went on in my life.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he would have considered himself a good man for sure, but his energy was extremely uh siphoning, and he was unmovable like Steele.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um any questioning to his thoughts was considered an attack, uh, very fragile emotionally, very poor regulation, which caused me to basically walk on eggshells with him most of my life.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we never had the kind of encounter like Balto and Steele do, nothing physical, but it was an energetic severing.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and this happened for me like let's see, probably like eight years ago, over a very small thing.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he wrote me off.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: He tried to just like steal, scratch up trees to make me lose my way.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we had a uh like a the beginnings of a lawsuit, actually.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I had to defend my own house at the time that we both uh co-owned, so that was a very interesting period of my life.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um and he went after this just to go after me.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it was completely unnecessary, so very on character for him.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I did have to make the journey to the bottom of the mountain and find my way back because I had to suppress so much of myself in my relationship with him.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And Balto is struggling, you know, like to suppress a lot of himself.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is when he um falls to the bottom of the mountain, because I really think when we really start to heal, we go to the root, we go to the bottom.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and if you go there with the intention to heal, and you go there with humility and a desire to learn and um to reflect, I think that the creative medicine falls with you.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um you just have to carry it back up again.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that um that is what happens when you have uh you know a intentional and pure desire to heal.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it's interesting because the thing about steel energy, for any of you who have experienced it, um, and I think it is an unintended consequence, um, it can be the energy that helps you most get back in touch with yourself.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm not saying any of this to excuse abuse of any kind or to glorify it.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: I want to be clear about that.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying that you can harness um steel energy and use it for your own healing once the connection to someone abusive has been severed.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I do think in some cases you'll never be able to ascend still connected to them.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, there's too much emotional baggage weighing you down.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, is that in Balto's case, like the white wolf, the higher self, the wild self, the feminine, is always with you.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: It never leaves you because it's not a punishing energy, it's an inviting energy.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you don't follow it, it's not gonna, you know, say, well, you can just stay at the bottom of the mountain.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go over here, you know, you're not worth waiting on.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really believe there's infinite compassion and infinite patience and love for you to return to yourself.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you have to kind of make a decision um if you're going to really let go of everything that you have to let go of to come back to yourself, or if you're gonna choose like connection and attachment over authenticity, I would say.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think we're conditioned to choose attachment and connection, which makes sense because as humans we need it, but I really think it matters at what state you're receiving it and what state you are seeking it, because if you sacrifice who you are to get it, um then you kind of stay stuck at the bottom of the mountain.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you always have the medicine, but you really need to strip bare like all of these falsehoods and masks and roles you play to be able to ascend with the medicine.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um and, you know, when you're at the bottom, the only thing you can carry is the medicine back up to the top.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: You can't carry all that other stuff because it's just too much.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, you're fighting gravity and you're fighting like altitude to get back up to the living plane, you know, you have to just carry what you need.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can't carry all this other stuff.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and essentially that'll lead me into the divine question, which I've essentially already answered.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but have you ever encountered steel energy in your life?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if so, how did you deal with it?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, how long would you say you've been at the bottom of a mountain sensing your own white wolf calling?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Did you answer it?
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: What happened?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: So that's quite a few questions to think about, but they're all kind of one big question.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, basically, what was the catalyst for you to challenge steel energy?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, how long did you stay at the bottom of the mountain?
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because some of us stay at the bottom of the mountain our whole life.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we feel the white wolf there, but we're afraid to answer the call, and we just stay, you know, at the bottom, um, sunken down, and we might feel like we're irrevocably broken by the steel energy that was in our life, but I don't think that's ever true.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, like I said, I think the white wolf will wait for you um infinitely.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's infinitely patient, infinitely loving, infinitely compassionate.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: I really do believe that.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, as long as there's a part of you that doesn't completely forget who you really are, um, it'll be there to meet you.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: So that is an extremely inspirational part of the movie.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's obviously, you know, the climactic part of the movie.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: And um that will lead us into the final episode of this series.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I might play with this one a little bit more, but the idea that I have right now is kind of a full circle of the Northern Lights um moment and essentially the way home.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like once he's climbed out of the mountain, which is like the depth of the pain, and he's healed, then he has to bring that healing back to the original place, essentially, that he was fractured.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that would be the town, and that's essentially what I'm gonna get into in episode four.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's gonna be a little bit shorter than this one, but that will be where we finish off this series.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so we're almost to the end.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, it's a pretty short movie.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I left you at the part where they get through that icicle cave, and then shortly after that, um, they get home.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: And also by this point, we didn't really uh reconnect with Steel, but he manages to get back home uh to the town, and he's spinning this whole web of lies that, you know, Balto didn't make it, and Balto was the one who wanted to take the medicine, and he basically made himself look like what Balto really was and made Balto look like him.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he's got Jenna's scarf because he ripped it off of Balto earlier, and he um, you know, shows it to Jenna and says, he wanted me to take care of you, and you know, but he didn't make it, and Jenna calls him out immediately and she's like, You're lying.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because she sees right through it.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, she's she's way too connected with her feminine energy, she's way too intolerant of egoic energy to buy into that story.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: So essentially that's where we're at.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when Balto leaves the cave, Steele's, you know, got all these dogs believing all this crap.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And um then when Balto comes home, of course, he's exposed as the fraud that he is, which is uh a very justified ending for him.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but we'll go ahead and get into that final episode next week.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I really do hope that you've enjoyed this series so far.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, can't believe we're already done with it almost, but I will be, like I said, going into Harry Potter after um next week's final episode, episode four of Balto.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: And once again, if you have any um suggestions, feedback, uh, you'd like to talk about anything in further detail, please definitely don't be shy about sending me an email.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's in the show notes, my business email for this podcast.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: I welcome feedback and ideas, and I'd like to start a divine dialogue with my audience.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: So please uh don't be shy about you know sending me something.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be happy to look at it and reconnect with you uh as soon as I can.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you, divine listeners, for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I will catch you on the next one.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Until then, uh, you know, embrace your white wolf and start carrying that medicine up the mountain.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know you can do it.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: All right, until next time.