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Transcript

155. Living Without Fear - The Moment You Want to Quit… Do This Instead | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

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  The moment you want to quit is the moment your inner voice
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  matters most. Hello beautiful soul.
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  This is Esther speaking to you from Switzerland.
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  Today I want to take you into a moment of my life that was
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  uncomfortable, intense, and deeply just warming because what
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  I experienced there is something you can use in your own life,
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  anytime, anywhere. This episode is an invitation.
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  An invitation to become your own coach.
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  Exactly the moment where you usually feel like giving up.
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  Let me take you into that thing. I was doing a course to get my
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  lifeguard full certification and one of the tests was diving 50
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  meters underwater. Now here's the truth about me.
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  I'm a scuba diver and advanced one.
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  I'm allowed to dive down to 30 meters and still every single
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  time I go onto border there is a moment of stress in my body, a
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  moment where everything in me says don't go down.
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  So I knew this was not about skill, this was about my mind.
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  When the moment came to do the test, I felt it immediately.
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  My heart started beating faster, my body became tense, my breath
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  shorter. I went underwater, started
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  swimming. And suddenly panic.
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  I stopped, I came back up. I hadn't reached the 50 meters
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  and in that moment my old self was right there, The version of
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  me that would say this is too much, I can't do this, I just
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  want to go home. Maybe you know this voice.
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  It sounds convincing, it sounds protective, but it keeps you
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  small. There was another woman in the
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  course, younger than me she felt too, and she said I don't want
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  to try again. Game over.
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  And when I heard that, something inside of me became very clear.
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  I don't want my old self to win anymore.
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  The instructor asked me, Do you want to try it again later?
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  And I heard myself say no, I do it now not because I felt ready,
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  but because I knew this was the moment that mattered.
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  So I stood there, closed my eyes for a second, and I started to
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  coach myself, gently but firmly. I can do it, I can do it, I can
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  do it. I slowed down my breathing and
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  then I did something very important.
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  I saw it. I saw myself already behind that
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  black line at 15 meters. I saw myself succeeding.
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  I saw myself as someone who had already done it.
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  Then I went underwater again. First strokes still nervous, my
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  body still alert. But this time, I stayed with
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  myself. I can do it.
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  I can do it. I can do it.
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  And stroke by stroke, something shifted.
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  Less fear, more focus, less noise, more presence.
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  And then I crossed the line. 50 meters.
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  I came up and I felt this wave of joy, relief, pride.
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  Not because I passed a test, but because I stayed with myself
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  when it was hard. But the day wasn't over.
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  Next test, 6 dive discs on the full floor.
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  I had to bring them all up in one go.
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  No breathing. Again fear.
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  Again tension. But this time I knew what to do.
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  I told myself, stay busy, forget the fear, just do the next step.
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  And again I saw it. I saw myself succeeding.
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  And I did it. I passed.
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  I almost couldn't believe it. The same woman from before.
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  She didn't pass because she had already decided she couldn't.
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  Do you see the difference? She closed the door before even
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  trying again. And I kept it open just a
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  little. Another test followed, rescuing
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  someone from 3M steps. It wasn't easy, but something
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  inside me had changed already. I didn't ask can I do this?
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  I told myself I am the one who can help.
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  And I did it. At the end of the day, I was
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  exhausted. My body was tired, my mind
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  stretched, but my heart, my heart was full, full of pride,
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  full of quiet strength because I had experienced something
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  powerful. I'm the master of my state, and
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  this is what I want to give to you today.
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  Your state is everything. Not a situation, not a
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  difficulty, but the state you're in while you face it.
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  And you can influence that state with your breath, with your
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  focus, and most importantly, with your words.
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  Start talking to yourself like someone who believes in you,
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  even if it feels unfamiliar, even if it feels uncomfortable.
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  Stay. I can do this.
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  Not yet, but I'm getting there. I haven't succeeded yet.
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  That word yet changes everything.
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  It keeps the door open. And also see yourself
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  succeeding. Not perfectly, but truly feel
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  it. Visualize it.
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  Because your mind follows the image you create.
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  You can use this everywhere, in conversations with your
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  children, in moments where you feel rejected, in your work, in
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  your dreams, any moment where life feels bigger than you.
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  Pause, breathe and coach yourself.
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  I'm pleased. Hear me on this.
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  Giving up is not the solution. Giving yourself another chance
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  always is. Again and again and again, until
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  something shifts, until you grow, until you surprise
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  yourself. Your fears don't disappear
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  completely, but you become bigger than them, stronger than
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  them, wiser with them, and one day you will look back and
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  realize there was so much more possible than you ever believed.
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  If this episode touched you, if you feel that something inside
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  you is ready to shift, I want to offer you something from my
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  heart. Ioffer free, one-on-one coaching
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  sessions, a space where you can bring exactly what you're
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  struggling with, and together we gently unlock new possibilities.
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  No pressure, just presents, just truth.
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  Just you being seen. If this speaks to you, reach out
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  to me. I would love to walk a small
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  part of your journey with you. Until next time, stay close to
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  yourself and when it gets hard, don't leave yourself.
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  Talk to yourself, guide yourself because you are more capable
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  than you think. Talk to you next week.