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How to Outsmart A Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So how do you outsmart A narcissist?
• 0:04
  How will Lee? That's easy because narcissists
• 0:08
  are stupid. You done in the video.
• 0:10
  No one need to talk anymore. No, that's not always the case,
• 0:14
  y'all. But that's what we talked about
• 0:16
  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
• 0:18
  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
• 0:20
  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
• 0:41
  Welcome back, welcome back, Welcome back folks.
• 0:44
  Yes, yes, yes. What is up, What is up, What is
• 0:48
  up? Welcome back, welcome back,
• 0:50
  welcome back. So y'all, before we get today's
• 0:52
  video started, I'm in the search of a video editor.
• 0:56
  I need somebody to edit these videos, especially my with my
• 0:59
  with the launch of my new podcast coming pretty soon, I
• 1:02
  need a video editor. So somebody shoot me an e-mail
• 1:05
  that does video edits and pretty decent video edits and we can
• 1:08
  let's let's chat. e-mail address is info.info@mentalillness.net.
• 1:14
  Check me out. But yes, narcissistic people,
• 1:18
  toxic people. How the hell do you outsmart
• 1:21
  them? How, how do you like Lee?
• 1:24
  Please just tell us how to do this 'cause I am, I'm tied boss.
• 1:30
  I'm tied boss. Lee, these narcissists, they be
• 1:33
  wearing you out, they be draining you dry, they be doing
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  this, they be doing that, blah blah blah, Boo Boo Boo BB B, we
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  all understand it, right? But you get to the get to the
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  nitty gritty of it. Narcissistic people, y'all are
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  not. And this is just me speaking
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  from a my own perspective right? Narcissist.
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  I feel like so many people create this this image of
• 1:57
  narcissist. The narcissists are just these
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  like we are these strong ass people that are hard to crack,
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  hard to break down when just that's not going to be true most
• 2:05
  times. Y'all I'm just keeping it real.
• 2:08
  Most narcissistic people are easy to crack because they
• 2:13
  follow patterns. They typically follow very
• 2:15
  distinct patterns. So how you outsmart A
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  narcissist? The first thing you want to do
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  is get understand. You have to get good at pattern
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  recognition because narcissists are, let's keep it real.
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  A lot of narcissists are absolutely very good at
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  recognizing patterns, right? A lot of narcissists are
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  absolutely amazing at recognizing patterns, which is
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  how they stay ahead of you, which is how they get a hold,
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  which is how they manipulate you.
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  They get very good at pattern recognition and recognizing
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  certain patterns within you or within other people, and we're
• 2:48
  not in able in order to manipulate them.
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  So in order for you to outsmart a narcissist, of course the
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  first thing you want to do is watch these videos.
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  But then you also want to get into the mindset, into the, you
• 2:59
  also want to get to the mindset of not just watching the videos,
• 3:04
  but also breaking them down, breaking down a narcissistic
• 3:07
  person in their patterns, understanding.
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  It's kind of like you have to know your opponent.
• 3:12
  It's kind of like, let's be real.
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  I'm just, I'm just say it like this.
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  It's kind of like going to war. And in order to win the war, you
• 3:19
  have to know your opponent, right?
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  You have to know who you were up against, correct?
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  You can't go into war blind and just expect to win.
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  You have to know your opponent. Know, you know, the best way to
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  win a war is to understand your opponent, know their likes and
• 3:33
  dislikes, know what sets them off understanding their
• 3:37
  triggers, because you have to understand their triggers of
• 3:40
  what activates them in order to stay ahead of them, right?
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  They get like, look, y'all, and I also think about this, I think
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  about this right here as well. The greatest predictor of past
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  behavior. I mean, the greatest predictor
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  of future behavior is typically past behavior.
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  So if they've done it before multiple times, chances are
• 4:00
  they're going to do it again. So how do you outsmart A
• 4:02
  narcissist if they like to control your time?
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  This is one example right here, y'all, It doesn't apply for
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  everybody, of course, because everybody doesn't have kids with
• 4:08
  them. But think about it like this.
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  If you, if y'all have kids together and they're always late
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  dropping the kids off, they're always 1015 minutes late
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  dropping the kids off. They've never dropped the kids
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  off on time. Why don't you just start showing
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  them 15 minutes later? I know or or or have a backup
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  plan, 'cause it might be, it might not be 50 minutes, might
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  be 25 minutes, might be 30 minutes might be an hour late.
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  They're trying to control your time to mess with you, right?
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  So always have a backup plan in order, right?
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  If they're, if somebody it's not kids, sometimes there's some,
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  some of y'all be Co parenting with, with, with the dogs or the
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  cats or whatever the parakeet. Y'all be Co parenting the
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  animals that y'all had together in these relationships.
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  Like I said, I, I, I would, I do it.
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  Probably not right? But that's not for me.
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  That's where everybody, everybody else has their own how
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  you want to handle situations and whatnot, but this is how it
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  goes. If they're always showing up
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  late or dropping the kids off early, prepare for that.
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  Prepare for it. Always have a Plan B.
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  You want to outsmart them, have a Plan B Bring some work with
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  you to do in the car if you want to well, leave.
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  I show up. If I show up late, chances are
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  the one time I do decide to show up 15 minutes late, that'll be
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  the one time that they show up on time.
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  And then they'll chastise me, they'll say this to me, they'll
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  say that to me. They'll make, they'll make note
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  of me being late, but I can't make note of them being late.
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  You see how that you see the unequal distribution of
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  relationship of that relationship right there, you
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  can say what you want to say, do what you want to do.
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  All these other situations arise, but at the end of the
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  day, you see the end game. You see the end part of it.
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  You see the manipulation at the end of it, right?
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  So sometimes you have to, you have to advocate for yourself,
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  take notes, take notes about your partner, take notes about
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  who they actually are and what they're actually trying to
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  achieve because you understand it, right?
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  Know their likes and dislikes, Know what's going to set them
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  off? How you outsmart them.
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  You have to stay ahead of them by knowing them.
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  But don't this right here. You want to outsmart a
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  narcissist? Don't tell them that you know
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  them. Yeah, do.
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  This is the mistake that people make.
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  I know it seems super simple right here.
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  I know it seems super simple. And just like Lee.
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  What the hell are you talking about?
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  Don't tell the narcissist that you know who they are.
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  I know exactly what you who you are.
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  What you going to do? Because then guess what happens?
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  They'll switch it up on you for just, for no other reason, then
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  just switch it up. They'll switch up their likes
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  and dislikes, their timing, they're showing up.
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  They're doing this, they're doing that, they'll do that just
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  as they'll do that type of stuff just as a way to shake it up
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  because narcissists don't like when you know everything about
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  them. So the worst thing, one of the
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  worst thing you can do is tell them that you know them.
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  And I know, again, I know it sounds asinine, but bear with me
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  here because this is how the mind of a lot of narcissists
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  works. They're going to start telling
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  you this type of stuff right here.
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  Like if you tell them that you know them, I know you're going
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  to do this. I know you're going to do that.
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  I already know who you are. I know what you're going to do.
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  Guess what happens? They switch it up on you, which
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  can also work in your favor, right?
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  It can work in your favor. Sometimes you have to learn how
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  to play the game. Like if you tell them that you
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  know them and you know that they're going to switch it up,
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  that's how you can, that's how you can.
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  You reverse psychology them right there.
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  Think about right there. That's how you use reverse
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  psychology on this person right there in this space.
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  You tell them that you know them because you know they hate that.
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  So they switch on their behaviors and then you get what
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  you want from them. Again, don't again, you have to
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  protect yourself in this situation.
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  Do not go out there and just wait.
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  Well, Lee told me to do this and then I, I, I told them I know
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  them and they hit me. They beat me up.
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  No, Lee did not say do that. Lee said tell Lee said tell.
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  You have to know this person and know who you're dealing with.
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  You have to understand your opponent.
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  You're you're damn near your enemy, right?
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  And so if you're understanding your enemy, then this is the
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  type of stuff that you want to base your things on right here.
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  If they're if you know they're going to come at you and try to
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  be manipulative, you know they're going to do this type of
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  stuff, then that allows you the space to get ahead of them for
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  you to outsmart them. Like make a have a game plan,
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  right? You know, you look well, Lee,
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  they, they, they never act right when I know, like I've tried to
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  record the something they do, but they always switch it up
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  when I'm recording them. So get a better way of recording
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  them again. Yo, I mean, I, I don't know, I
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  know those kind of those meta Ray ban glasses are kind of
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  obvious when they're recording right now, but damn, here I
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  think they got spy pins on them. Amazon, I think, I think they
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  have the, you know, I think they have the little.
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  And of course, look at your state laws before you take this
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  advice, right. Camera pins.
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  I'm going to look at camera pins on Amazon right now.
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  Yeah, yeah, no, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah.
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  Professional. Those are lens cleaners.
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  Yeah, they have hidden cameras, mini cameras, mini cameras on
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  Amazon. Of course, look up your state
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  laws before you go do this type of stuff because, you know, some
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  laws say you can't record people without that knowledge.
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  But yeah, there are many pins. Outsmart them.
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  They when I pulled my phone out late, they start acting right
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  then. Guess what?
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  Don't pull your phone out. Have a little, have a damn James
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  Bond pin right here. So they don't even know you're
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  recording them. You just like huh, nothing or
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  something over your ear or something, something y'all, You
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  don't want to let them know there's a bunch of spy pins and
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  stuff on here. Damn the hidden camera.
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  Oh, there's camera yeah, there's hidden camera detectors on here
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  too. So if they if they got a hidden
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  camera, so there's so many different things that you can do
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  to prepare for them. Y'all, if you how to outsmart
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  them, if you know if you know them, you know their behaviors.
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  If you know they're going to start acting right when the
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  camera comes out, you don't pull the camera out.
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  Have it already. Don't pull it out already have
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  it out. Have it recorded in your pocket.
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  You see what I'm saying? Or, or this is how you outsmart
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  them. Look, you can outsmart them two
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  ways doing the same thing. If you want them to act right,
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  always have the phone out, have the camera out.
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  If you want them to act right, you look, you got to be
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  recording. You know they start acting right
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  when the camera comes out. Guess what?
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  Pull it out. Anyway, you see what I'm saying?
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  You can get ahead of them. You could outsmart them in two
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  ways in that situation right there.
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  If you want them to act right, pull the phone out.
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  If you want them, if you want to catch them, act as a monkey,
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  then don't pull the phone out. You see how the situation works
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  both ways. You just have to use your mind.
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  You're smart. A lot of times when you in these
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  relationship types, like you get caught up in this cloud, in this
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  cognitive dissonance and just gaslighting where you you start
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  to question your reality. So you can like, say you can
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  start to manipulate them in the different ways to get what you
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  want from them. Sometimes you have to play the
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  game, like recording. Like I said, their little secret
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  recording pin. Yeah, it couldn't work.
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  Yeah, it could absolutely work because I'm not like they might
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  use it against you somehow. You got to.
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  Yeah, we got to be careful. I hear so many narcissist people
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  out here. They'll try to get you.
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  They will, they will absolutely try to hem your asshole up.
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  But this is the bias, this is the mentality, because they will
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  absolutely try to hem you up and mess with you.
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  But I said it to say this y'all, you have to protect yourself.
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  You have to advocate for yourself in certain ways.
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  But Lee, they always act right when other people are around.
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  Then they always have somebody else around you see what I'm
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  saying? How's that?
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  You see what I'm saying, but they're when when nobody else is
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  around, they get abusive and I wish I could show that to the
• 11:26
  people. I could show that to the courts
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  or I could get some evidence for online then you know, to not
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  bring somebody else around. But of course, be safe.
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  You don't want to do this type of stuff and not be safe, but
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  this is how you protect yourself going forward with narcissistic
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  people. You always want to get ahead of
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  them in this type of way right here because that helps you in
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  the end game. They have in the end, at the end
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  of the day, that helps you understand who they are.
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  Understand what if, if I think about this right here, if I did
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  this, what would they do? I've done this before they did
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  this. Ask yourself better questions,
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  but I'm telling you, these better questions can absolutely
• 12:02
  set you free. They absolutely can.
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  That's one of the things that ends up happening right here.
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  You know what I mean? This is one of the things that
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  ends up happening. This is the space that so many
• 12:11
  people fall into and this is how we keep moving for y'all.
• 12:14
  But anyway, y'all, y'all know, I like to keep these videos around
• 12:16
  13 minutes. Again, I'm looking for a video
• 12:18
  editor. E-mail addresses at the
• 12:20
  beginning of the video. Check out my video series
• 12:23
  Finding Your Why about how to heal from narcissistic abuse,
• 12:27
  how to escape a toxic relationship dynamic.
• 12:30
  Everything about me y'all can be found on my website
• 12:32
  mentalillness.net. Check out joining in the channel
• 12:36
  memberships. I got some interesting stuff
• 12:38
  coming up for that. Be safe, take care of
• 12:40
  yourselves, and as always, y'all as always.
• 12:42
  But then this is out Peace. What up y'all?
• 12:45
  What up? Before you leave make sure to
• 12:47
  hit that subscribe button if you haven't.
• 12:49
  It just helps us reach more people.
• 12:50
  Also everything I have is available at mentalillness.net,
• 12:54
  my coaching, my courses. I have a couple of courses that
• 12:57
  can help you understand and help you heal and also have a support
• 13:00
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• 13:03
  Check my site off everything y'all and I will see y'all
• 13:04
  later. Peace.