Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: Tuna Fish, Damn It!

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: Tuna Fish, Damn It! · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Kabooms.
0:02
Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
0:05
Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
0:09
Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
0:12
Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
0:15
Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to the Clearinghouse
0:19
Speaker 2: of hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth
0:23
Speaker 2: Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
0:29
Speaker 1: In the air everywhere. The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben
0:33
Speaker 1: Mahler and Danny G Radio A Happy Saturday to you.
0:37
Speaker 1: It's college football Saturday today, on this twentieth day of September.
0:43
Speaker 1: And let's see what am I planning on Washington today,
0:46
Speaker 1: Nanny G. I've got well tonight I will see at
0:49
Speaker 1: least part of Michigan State and USC. Are they calling
0:54
Speaker 1: it Big ten after dark? I don't if they're calling
0:56
Speaker 1: it Big ten after dark, but that's the late game.
0:57
Speaker 1: I did see Michigan State complaining about that. I'll be
1:00
Speaker 1: checking that game out. I think Belichick in North Carolina.
1:06
Speaker 1: If I can find that game, they play you UCF,
1:11
Speaker 1: which is like a halfway decent opponent.
1:12
Speaker 3: So the whole country is going to be tuned into
1:14
Speaker 3: that one.
1:15
Speaker 1: I think that's the game, and then not really yeah yeah,
1:18
Speaker 1: and then what's the big one? Well, I guess Auburn
1:21
Speaker 1: Oklahoma's the biggest.
1:22
Speaker 3: The huge game is Boise and air Force.
1:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's all when you throw out the records.
1:27
Speaker 1: When they get together, Danny, they get together, you throw
1:30
Speaker 1: out the records. But anyway, we'll be be flipping around here.
1:33
Speaker 1: And then if you're an old time nostalgic college football fan,
1:36
Speaker 1: you've got Michigan and Nebraska. Who Nebraska thirty years ago
1:42
Speaker 1: was the juggernaut of college football. Michigan's had their moments.
1:45
Speaker 1: So anyway, some of the games today in college football.
1:48
Speaker 1: But on this podcast, Danny, we have tuna fish sandwiches,
1:52
Speaker 1: damn it, and the Suburban Explorer. But we're gonna start
1:55
Speaker 1: with this. So I checked the mail bag last night
1:59
Speaker 1: and based on events that have taken place the last
2:03
Speaker 1: couple of days, so I got some feedback on Clayton Kershaw.
2:07
Speaker 1: People very upset with my Clayton Kershaw take offended by
2:11
Speaker 1: my position on Clayton Kersher, which was the accurate position,
2:14
Speaker 1: by the way, the accurate take on Clayton Kershaw.
2:16
Speaker 3: When I heard this promo run on FSR Friday during
2:19
Speaker 3: Covino and Rich, I just shook my head.
2:21
Speaker 1: Well, you can shake your head all you want, it's reality.
2:23
Speaker 1: Clayton Kershaw has cost the Dodgers multiple World Series championships
2:27
Speaker 1: because he comes up tiny in big games. You gotta think, Danny,
2:32
Speaker 1: this era of Dodger baseball, they would have at least three,
2:34
Speaker 1: probably four more World championships if Clayton Kershaw actually lived
2:38
Speaker 1: up to the way he is in the regular season.
2:40
Speaker 1: So I don't have any regrets on that. He should
2:42
Speaker 1: have retired five years ago. So fine. I did a
2:46
Speaker 1: monologue on that, and then a lot of people have
2:48
Speaker 1: been complaining. They say, what about the Komodo dragon in
2:51
Speaker 1: the room? Several cents some version Danny of Hey, big Ben,
2:55
Speaker 1: I love your show, but you know what that means.
2:59
Speaker 1: Why didn't you dressed the Jimmy Kimmel story on the show.
3:02
Speaker 1: So I didn't mention the Jimmy Kimmel story on the show.
3:06
Speaker 1: I would like to put out though, Danny, this is
3:08
Speaker 1: kind of thing that annoys me because I've mentioned this
3:11
Speaker 1: many times that we don't normally go down those roads.
3:15
Speaker 1: ABC pulled Jimmy Kimmel off the air because of pressure
3:18
Speaker 1: from the Federal Communications.
3:20
Speaker 3: Commission be careful about this.
3:23
Speaker 1: Well, the stories everywhere right, and the person running the
3:27
Speaker 1: FCC was upset that Kimmel made some partisan talking point
3:32
Speaker 1: crap about what's.
3:35
Speaker 3: The guy's name that Charlie Kirk.
3:37
Speaker 1: Charlie Kirk, Yeah, that was killed, And so kim O
3:40
Speaker 1: regurgitated some stuff on TV and everyone's kind of an agreement.
3:45
Speaker 1: No one's watching late night TV, but everyone up in
3:48
Speaker 1: arms over this, and so now it's one of those
3:51
Speaker 1: bizarre things. Jimmy Kimmel. Back in the day we crossed
3:55
Speaker 1: pass I and Jimmy Kimmel in what I considered Danny
3:59
Speaker 1: the glory days, glory days of LA Radio, back when
4:02
Speaker 1: Jimmy was doing Carl Malone impersonations on k Rock in
4:06
Speaker 1: the morning, the old Utah jazz player, and I was
4:10
Speaker 1: doing afternoon gas baggery, and Ryan Seacrest was over at
4:14
Speaker 1: Star ninety eight point seven playing boy band records, and
4:17
Speaker 1: all of us climbing the media ladder Danny and somehow
4:20
Speaker 1: two of these guys became megastars, and I ended up
4:23
Speaker 1: singing cheeseburgers at three in the morning. But aside from that,
4:27
Speaker 1: it is bizarre.
4:28
Speaker 3: You're talking about you're an international TV star.
4:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it is bizarre. Oh, don't forget to watch
4:34
Speaker 1: Benny Versus Penny. It is bizarre. It's on YouTube YouTube
4:38
Speaker 1: dot com slash at Benny Vspenny. It is bizarre when
4:41
Speaker 1: you see a national story, like someone international story, and
4:45
Speaker 1: you cross paths with them at some point in your life.
4:48
Speaker 1: It's like when Lauren Sanchez married Jeff Bezos and I
4:51
Speaker 1: used to see Lauren a lot at the Laker games
4:54
Speaker 1: back in there. It's very wacky. But the Jimmy Kimmel thing,
4:57
Speaker 1: regardless of that, we generally don't go down this way.
5:01
Speaker 1: I'll give you my ten cent take on this, and
5:04
Speaker 1: this is my position. Jimmy Kimmel was hired years ago
5:09
Speaker 1: as a comedian, and you're supposed to sell laughs, not
5:13
Speaker 1: political lectures and all that stuff. He is paid to
5:15
Speaker 1: be the court gesture, not the court justice. And it's
5:20
Speaker 1: it's always a dangerous game when you confuse those things.
5:23
Speaker 1: It's like if you worked at in and out Burger
5:26
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, I said, you know what,
5:29
Speaker 1: I don't want to hand out cheeseburgers. I want to
5:30
Speaker 1: hand out tuna fish sandwiches. Well, nobody wants tuna fish sandwiches.
5:34
Speaker 1: They go there for the cheeseburger. Well, no, I want
5:35
Speaker 1: I think people need tuna fish sandwiches. Well, they don't
5:38
Speaker 1: want tuna fish sandwiches. Well some people might want them. Yes,
5:40
Speaker 1: some people might want them, but they're going to go
5:42
Speaker 1: to a restaurant that service tuna fish sandwiches. They're not
5:44
Speaker 1: going to go to an out burger, you know, And
5:46
Speaker 1: they'll say I didn't order that. And now I will
5:48
Speaker 1: tell you, Danny, and to tow the line here, the
5:53
Speaker 1: FCC sniffing around to me, that's the thing that gets
5:56
Speaker 1: your attention. And I believe they should stay out of
5:58
Speaker 1: it because when it's it's like one of those ping
6:01
Speaker 1: pong games, Danny, that you know, you don't want to
6:04
Speaker 1: go down that road because then whoever's in control of
6:06
Speaker 1: the politics will mute the other side. So I think
6:10
Speaker 1: you just don't want to go down that road. You're
6:12
Speaker 1: not going to win. It's a problem exactly. FCC is
6:17
Speaker 1: not supposed to be about picking sides. It's supposed to
6:20
Speaker 1: be about, like us, talking about bodily functions and things
6:23
Speaker 1: like that. Yes, yes, little Johnny, can't hear us do
6:27
Speaker 1: a poopy joke.
6:28
Speaker 3: They can't hear us say, shit, that's supposed to be
6:30
Speaker 3: what the FCC is for.
6:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So it's just it's one of those things.
6:34
Speaker 1: And obviously a lot of you know where I am politically,
6:37
Speaker 1: but it doesn't matter, like I'm not a very political person.
6:41
Speaker 1: You're whoever you like, whatever team you root for, whether
6:44
Speaker 1: it's the Red team or the Blue team, is not
6:45
Speaker 1: going to be in power forever, and then the other
6:47
Speaker 1: team's going to get control and then they're going to
6:48
Speaker 1: do the same thing. And it's just it's just a
6:51
Speaker 1: bad not the kind of precedent you want to say, exactly.
6:54
Speaker 1: And I don't think I'm concerned, Danny that anyone who's
6:58
Speaker 1: in the White House will be worried about me saying
7:00
Speaker 1: the dolphins rode the vomit commet or they're not gonna
7:04
Speaker 1: knock on the mallor mansion at well in the morning.
7:06
Speaker 3: You are the captain of the safe harbor.
7:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're not gonna say you said, Dak Prescott is
7:13
Speaker 1: what Charlie checked out. Oh my god. But it is
7:17
Speaker 1: the slippery slope, and that's that's the point one of
7:19
Speaker 1: my I don't know, honestly, Hero but when I was
7:22
Speaker 1: a kid, my parents used to watch Johnny Carson, the
7:25
Speaker 1: King of late night television. I went back and I looked,
7:29
Speaker 1: and Johnny Carson averaged in the seventies and the eighties,
7:35
Speaker 1: he averaged six to eight million people a night watching. Now,
7:39
Speaker 1: there weren't many channels, there was no internet, so you
7:41
Speaker 1: can make all these statements about that, but he averaged
7:46
Speaker 1: six to eight million people a night. If he had
7:48
Speaker 1: a big, big star guest on their big name, he'd
7:51
Speaker 1: get nine or ten million. Major League Baseball on average,
7:56
Speaker 1: a Major League Baseball game on Fox gets one point
7:58
Speaker 1: eight million. An NBA game on ESPN gets about one
8:02
Speaker 1: point five million. They average, Johnny Carson was getting three
8:07
Speaker 1: four times that a night. One on the Tonight Show.
8:11
Speaker 1: That is nuts. And Carson said this quote. I'm sure
8:15
Speaker 1: you saw it, Danny. He said this back and I
8:16
Speaker 1: think the seventies or the eighties, but it made its
8:19
Speaker 1: way back and somebody, I think it was on sixty
8:22
Speaker 1: Minutes and said that. One of the people asked him said,
8:24
Speaker 1: why don't you talk about politics on the Tonight Show?
8:28
Speaker 1: And Johnny said, well, why do Why do they think
8:32
Speaker 1: that just because you have a Tonight Show that you
8:35
Speaker 1: must deal in serious issues. He warned that the danger,
8:40
Speaker 1: and it's a real danger once you start that, you
8:43
Speaker 1: start to get that self important feeling is a quote
8:46
Speaker 1: by the way, that what you say has great import
8:50
Speaker 1: and you know, strangely enough, you could use that show
8:54
Speaker 1: as a forum, Carson said, back then, you could stay
8:57
Speaker 1: way people. You sway people, and I don't think you
9:01
Speaker 1: should as an entertainer. And then some people say, wow,
9:04
Speaker 1: he's old. You know he's dead now. But I would
9:07
Speaker 1: argue that Carson knew his role. He told jokes. Here's
9:11
Speaker 1: what Carson did. He told jokes. He played tennis in Malibu,
9:14
Speaker 1: and he cashed massive checks. Most of that money went
9:18
Speaker 1: to his many ex wives. But he did all of
9:21
Speaker 1: those things, and he rarely wandered into into the political
9:25
Speaker 1: world and all that because he knew that once you
9:28
Speaker 1: take that detour, your toast and if you start believing
9:32
Speaker 1: you're the pope of pop culture, that whatever you're doing,
9:37
Speaker 1: your monologue or whatever, is the state of the Union address,
9:39
Speaker 1: it's it's it just doesn't work out for you. So
9:43
Speaker 1: but I don't understand. It's like Jimmy Kimmel, if he's
9:45
Speaker 1: really that into it. Again, I don't think he should
9:48
Speaker 1: have been taken off. There would my position, if he's
9:50
Speaker 1: that political, why didn't he go to like CNN or
9:53
Speaker 1: in MSNBC or something to do a political show, And
9:56
Speaker 1: then nobody would care because he's doing like a political show.
9:59
Speaker 1: But it's it's wild. Any within the next year, there
10:03
Speaker 1: will be no late night TV. Kimmel's out, Colbert's going out.
10:09
Speaker 1: You and I talked about this during COVID. Remember nobody
10:12
Speaker 1: really noticed that the late night shows were on old reruns.
10:17
Speaker 1: Nobody cared.
10:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, and during the writers strike, same thing, nobody gave
10:22
Speaker 3: us shit.
10:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. And then and their argument is that
10:26
Speaker 1: those shows are mostly just for the clips online. But
10:29
Speaker 1: Jimmy Fallons his days are hope he saved money because
10:33
Speaker 1: he's next the three stooges who were the last three
10:37
Speaker 1: on what for our childhood named Late Night TV.
10:40
Speaker 3: He was, Oh, and I read that Saturday Night Live
10:43
Speaker 3: is also in the firing line.
10:45
Speaker 1: Really yeah, so and that was.
10:48
Speaker 3: Just rumors, but you know that's that was making the
10:51
Speaker 3: rounds on a couple of articles I saw last week.
10:54
Speaker 1: So again, just to put the ball on this in
10:56
Speaker 1: these parts on the radio show and usually here as well,
11:00
Speaker 1: as I like to say, we also are in the
11:02
Speaker 1: cheeseburger business. I run a little cheeseburger stand. It's Benny's Burgers.
11:07
Speaker 1: I sell Benny's burgers. I have fries, maybe a milkshake,
11:11
Speaker 1: and that's it. You will not get a kill salad.
11:13
Speaker 1: I do not sell a kill salad. You do not
11:15
Speaker 1: get a fruit smoothie.
11:16
Speaker 3: I don't sell no lettuce raps either.
11:18
Speaker 1: I don't definitely don't have any lettuce. Yeah, hashtag Benny's buns.
11:22
Speaker 1: I generally avoid politics and whatnot. And if you want
11:27
Speaker 1: a caesar salad, you can go somewhere else. If you
11:29
Speaker 1: want burger, right here and get the burger. And so
11:34
Speaker 1: we'll see. Jimmy Kible's made a ton of money. I'm
11:36
Speaker 1: assuming he's financially financially set. And you know what'll end
11:40
Speaker 1: up doing, Danny if the TV show is completely put,
11:44
Speaker 1: he'll do what everyone else does. He'll do a podcast.
11:47
Speaker 1: That's what he's gonna do, right, Yeah, why not? There
11:49
Speaker 1: you go, get a podcast. Everyone loves audio content. Get
11:53
Speaker 1: a podcast, damn it, Get a podcast.
11:55
Speaker 3: Did you see that clip of him being whisked away
11:58
Speaker 3: from the network in that black navigate And oh It's
12:02
Speaker 3: funny you say that, because I'm like, I bet they're
12:04
Speaker 3: taking him to a podcast studio right now.
12:06
Speaker 1: Oh well, either that or I think they went to
12:09
Speaker 1: like lawyers, like some Beverly Hill lawyers or something like that.
12:11
Speaker 1: They're so so so they will not get away with us.
12:15
Speaker 1: You know, I feel bad for is that guy Guillermo
12:17
Speaker 1: on the show?
12:18
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we know Guillermo on Covino and Rich. Yeah,
12:23
Speaker 3: I told you he was at the airport with us
12:25
Speaker 3: while we were waiting for our flights to the super
12:27
Speaker 3: Bowl last year.
12:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. They used to have him go out to
12:31
Speaker 1: the Dodgy games, and I remember one time during the playoffs,
12:34
Speaker 1: this is probably ten fifteen years ago, and they made
12:37
Speaker 1: him wear like a diaper type thing, and it was
12:41
Speaker 1: so funny watching because they would record stuff and he'd
12:43
Speaker 1: be the clown, you know.
12:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, And you could.
12:45
Speaker 1: Tell when they stopped recording how pissed off he was
12:48
Speaker 1: that they made him wear this thing and walk around.
12:50
Speaker 1: He was really annoyed. But you know, I don't know
12:54
Speaker 1: what that guy's gonna do. You know, that's that's a
12:56
Speaker 1: very specific job, Danny being the sidekick on a eight
13:00
Speaker 1: night TV show.
13:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're gonna be typecast.
13:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's not a lot of bounce back on something
13:08
Speaker 1: like that.
13:08
Speaker 3: I believe, you know what, he can do a podcast exactly.
13:13
Speaker 1: Like just everyone everyone will do a podcast. There's more
13:17
Speaker 1: podcasts than there are people on the planet. Look at this,
13:19
Speaker 1: even this the fifth Hour podcast. So anyway, that's those
13:23
Speaker 1: are my thoughts on the on the Kimmel the aftermath
13:25
Speaker 1: with Gimo exactly the FCC with become an anti culture musician,
13:35
Speaker 1: you know, come up with songs. But we'll wait for
13:37
Speaker 1: Guirmo's podcast to come out. Damn it, Danny, I just
13:40
Speaker 1: damn it, all right, We'll wait for it. Yeah.
13:44
Speaker 3: If I was a QB and I was calling an
13:46
Speaker 3: audible at the line, I wouldn't say omaha, omaha, I'd
13:50
Speaker 3: say damn it, damn it. And that's how I was
13:53
Speaker 3: feeling when Covino and Rich's show on Friday ended, because
13:57
Speaker 3: I put two weeks of work into a new on
14:00
Speaker 3: air game. Now, maybe you could shed some light on
14:03
Speaker 3: this process bending because I know you've been in the
14:04
Speaker 3: same boat. What's it like when you get an idea
14:08
Speaker 3: in your p brain and you think to yourself, you
14:10
Speaker 3: know what this is going to take some tweaking here
14:13
Speaker 3: and there, but this game with the Mallard Militia, this
14:16
Speaker 3: could actually work.
14:17
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah for sure. And I'll get an idea
14:20
Speaker 1: sometimes driving around or something like that. I'll get an
14:22
Speaker 1: idea in my head and then I'll immediately what I
14:24
Speaker 1: do is I pull my phone out, I go to
14:25
Speaker 1: the notes app on my phone, and then I'll type
14:28
Speaker 1: a few things like whatever, because I don't want to
14:30
Speaker 1: I want to lose type some thoughts in right.
14:33
Speaker 3: It's kind of like when a song comes to a musician.
14:36
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So I'll jot down a few
14:38
Speaker 1: random thoughts and then after that I will kind of
14:42
Speaker 1: workshop it, like I'll go back to it like Frankenstein's
14:47
Speaker 1: lab and try to, you know, jot down some other stuff.
14:50
Speaker 1: And you got to kind of map it out. Right.
14:52
Speaker 1: There's a lot.
14:53
Speaker 3: There's a lot to it. And I had to type
14:56
Speaker 3: and find drops and set it all up and write
14:59
Speaker 3: the script to send into Bob our big voice guy
15:02
Speaker 3: of FSR. And then I work closely with Ricky, who's
15:06
Speaker 3: Vito's assistant for the past i don't know, seven eight
15:09
Speaker 3: days to get this thing ready to go. Then I
15:11
Speaker 3: spent two hours on Thursday night sitting in a Wendy's.
15:14
Speaker 3: It was National Cheeseburger Day. So I had a junior
15:17
Speaker 3: bacon cheeseburger in my left hand, my pen in my
15:21
Speaker 3: right hand, and I was writing down how the rules
15:24
Speaker 3: of the game would be. So I get to Friday,
15:26
Speaker 3: I'm calling this synonymous city. Synonymous city, say the name
15:32
Speaker 3: of the game, slow, play it fast. This came out
15:36
Speaker 3: organically in conversation on the show a couple of weeks
15:39
Speaker 3: ago with Dan Byer. He was laughing because we were like,
15:42
Speaker 3: who's the face of the city for Minneapolis for sports?
15:46
Speaker 3: And they were like, Bayer told the guys, He's like,
15:49
Speaker 3: on the count of three, one, two three, you know
15:52
Speaker 3: who would you say, by the way, for Minneapolis sports,
15:55
Speaker 3: are we doing?
15:56
Speaker 1: Are we doing all time?
15:57
Speaker 3: Or right?
15:57
Speaker 1: Yeah?
15:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, So like the most revered sorts figure in Minneapolis
16:01
Speaker 3: sports one two three, Herbie Puckett. See thank you, All
16:07
Speaker 3: of us except one crew member shouted out Kirby Pucket.
16:11
Speaker 3: And it was funny because I think Rich said Gary
16:14
Speaker 3: Anderson and we're laughing. He was trying to be funny,
16:17
Speaker 3: but we're laughing. And then Rich mentioned on the air, Hey,
16:20
Speaker 3: you know what we could do something like this for
16:23
Speaker 3: a game on the air someday, and I thought about
16:26
Speaker 3: it and I'm like, yeah, this is cool. I'll do like,
16:29
Speaker 3: you know, the most synonymous sports figure or the most
16:33
Speaker 3: famous music artist or band of a city. So get
16:37
Speaker 3: the contestant right. Explain to the contestant that the two
16:40
Speaker 3: categories are going to be rotated. I'll tell you the category,
16:43
Speaker 3: then i'll say the city. Give you a few seconds
16:46
Speaker 3: to think about your answer, and then on the count
16:47
Speaker 3: of three, the crew member and the caller are going
16:50
Speaker 3: to shout out their answers. The caller has to match
16:53
Speaker 3: with two of the five seeing our crew members in
16:56
Speaker 3: order to win a prize. Covino's up first, All right,
17:00
Speaker 3: let's start with the most revered sports figure for the
17:03
Speaker 3: city of Saint Louis. All right, think about it for
17:06
Speaker 3: a second. On the count of three, one, two, three,
17:11
Speaker 3: Stan mus stand the man, thank you, Ben, you know what?
17:14
Speaker 3: The contestant said, Oh god, I don't what. First of all,
17:18
Speaker 3: he didn't say anything at first. It was dead air
17:21
Speaker 3: one dead air, two dead air, three dead or four,
17:23
Speaker 3: And then he shouted damn it.
17:32
Speaker 1: And I'm like, first name, first name, damn last name it.
17:35
Speaker 1: First name, damn last name it.
17:37
Speaker 3: So I'm like, Okay, we're not off to a good
17:39
Speaker 3: start here, but maybe it'll get better.
17:41
Speaker 1: With he led to the Spirit of Saint Louis and
17:44
Speaker 1: the ABA.
17:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, maybe it'll get better. Okay, let's stick
17:46
Speaker 3: to sports. The most revered sports figure for the city
17:49
Speaker 3: of San Diego.
17:51
Speaker 1: Okay, this is all right, get your answers ready.
17:55
Speaker 3: On the count of three, one, two, three, Tony Winn
18:00
Speaker 3: thank you.
18:00
Speaker 1: All right, what do I win? What do I win?
18:03
Speaker 3: Well, the problem is the contestant again didn't give an answer,
18:08
Speaker 3: and when we're like, dude, are you there, he was like, oh,
18:11
Speaker 3: damn it. The problem was, I unfortunately got a contestant
18:21
Speaker 3: on the debut of the new game who wasn't really
18:24
Speaker 3: with it late to the party, and because of that,
18:28
Speaker 3: now Rich is over there like, well, we got to
18:29
Speaker 3: redo how the rules are and we should change it
18:32
Speaker 3: to where we all write down an answer and maybe
18:34
Speaker 3: if enough of us match, then he gets a point.
18:36
Speaker 3: And now instead of this being a successful game that
18:39
Speaker 3: I spent two weeks of my life investing in, because
18:43
Speaker 3: of one damit contestant, I have to rework the entire game.
18:48
Speaker 1: Well, the lesson on that Danny is to never underestimate
18:51
Speaker 1: the power of dumb people that call radio shows. You
18:54
Speaker 1: can never underestimate the power of the listener. I tried.
18:57
Speaker 1: I don't know if you were with me at the
18:59
Speaker 1: time or not, but I tried to do a spelling
19:01
Speaker 1: bee on the show.
19:03
Speaker 3: I wasn't with you, but I was listening to that mess.
19:06
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And because in my head, I was like, well,
19:10
Speaker 1: most of the names are pretty easy to spell, like
19:12
Speaker 1: all right, you know, like George Brett or something like that.
19:15
Speaker 1: You would think, and then you start doing it, and
19:18
Speaker 1: I I cannot understate how bad people are at spelling.
19:24
Speaker 1: I can't, you know. I thought, well, this was in
19:26
Speaker 1: the ear when like the hardest name was like Mark
19:28
Speaker 1: Grizzlanic or something like that. You say, okay, fine, Grizzlnik's
19:32
Speaker 1: a tough name. He was a big baseball player years ago.
19:35
Speaker 1: But the normal names and people just didn't know how
19:39
Speaker 1: to spell, and it would drive me. It drive me nuts.
19:41
Speaker 1: And also a lot of the people, and I get it,
19:46
Speaker 1: this is not their life, right, Danny, were invested in
19:49
Speaker 1: this because we do this for a living. But if
19:50
Speaker 1: you're a sports fan, you're kind of casual. Most people
19:52
Speaker 1: are and it's entertainment.
19:54
Speaker 3: I feel like most of our listeners though, would have
19:57
Speaker 3: shouted out Tony Gwyn.
19:59
Speaker 1: I would like to think, yeah, and how it depends
20:02
Speaker 1: how old you are, though, I guess.
20:03
Speaker 3: And so with some games we empower the contestant the caller,
20:07
Speaker 3: and in other games like this, I think I'm gonna
20:08
Speaker 3: have to take the power out of their hands. In
20:10
Speaker 3: other words, I'm gonna have to have like Covino and
20:13
Speaker 3: Rich be the team and then give them the city
20:16
Speaker 3: and count to three for them, and beforehand ask the
20:20
Speaker 3: contestant whether or not they think Coveno and ritual match
20:24
Speaker 3: and if they if they get that answer right, then
20:26
Speaker 3: they get the point. So I think I'm gonna have
20:28
Speaker 3: to think outside the box a little bit. That way,
20:30
Speaker 3: the power is not in the listener's hands.
20:33
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to limit the amount of power that
20:35
Speaker 1: the caller has by all all accounts, and then at
20:38
Speaker 1: some point you'll you'll nail it and then you'll be
20:40
Speaker 1: like Mary Poppins and super califragile xbi alidosis and all that.
20:44
Speaker 1: You'll get it down.
20:45
Speaker 3: So yeah, but for the rest of the weekend, I'm
20:48
Speaker 3: going to be shaking my head saying damn it, I.
20:53
Speaker 1: Hear you on that. So I got one other thing
20:55
Speaker 1: I wanted to mention this, and then we'll get out
20:57
Speaker 1: on this. So you know, a little bit of a
20:59
Speaker 1: story time if you oil again. So this past week
21:03
Speaker 1: it is Saturday to any the Life of malor the
21:05
Speaker 1: Life of Danny g a tradition on this podcast which
21:09
Speaker 1: is not overvalued, by the way, it is not overvalued
21:12
Speaker 1: at all, and the loyalist of this podcast appreciated. So.
21:16
Speaker 1: So anyway, the other day this week, it was a
21:18
Speaker 1: random weekday, the usual routine, sleep during the day, wake
21:22
Speaker 1: up early afternoons, splash some water on the old face there,
21:26
Speaker 1: grumble towards the mirror and make sure everything's still where
21:30
Speaker 1: it needs to be, and then step outside and that
21:34
Speaker 1: evil son like I'm a vampire, what's going on here?
21:38
Speaker 1: And then you're out walking around. So anyway, I at
21:42
Speaker 1: the beginning of the day, like everyone else going there,
21:45
Speaker 1: put some water on your face, go outside. On this
21:47
Speaker 1: particular day, I made the noble, if misguided, decision to
21:51
Speaker 1: go to the gym. The plan was simple, to go
21:55
Speaker 1: to the treadmill, have my phone in my hand, catching
21:59
Speaker 1: up on the sports news of the day, futsing around
22:02
Speaker 1: on my phone while pretending I was, you know, was
22:06
Speaker 1: working out and not just fusing around on my phone
22:09
Speaker 1: and all that. Anyway, So I drove to the gym.
22:12
Speaker 1: It was uneventful. The parking space was secured, got a
22:16
Speaker 1: good parking place. The mission was clear until fate intervened.
22:22
Speaker 1: So I parked the car backed in, because that's what
22:25
Speaker 1: we do. We back into the space and then I
22:28
Speaker 1: off the door. I opened the door, I get out
22:32
Speaker 1: of the car, and then I reached back in to
22:34
Speaker 1: grab my trusty air pods that I got a couple
22:36
Speaker 1: of years ago, the ones that are supposed to have
22:39
Speaker 1: the hearing aids so I can hear a little bit
22:40
Speaker 1: better because I have radio ears and stuff. So I
22:43
Speaker 1: reached back in. I grabbed my trusty air pods, the
22:45
Speaker 1: lifeblood of any treadmill session. And unfortunately, when I reached
22:51
Speaker 1: down for the air pods and reached back out of
22:54
Speaker 1: the maladmobile, the handoff was botched. I think Bill Buckner
23:00
Speaker 1: back in the day leon let Thanksgiving.
23:03
Speaker 3: Why do I feel like you've done this before.
23:06
Speaker 1: I have done this before. It just happened again. But
23:09
Speaker 1: this is a different tale. So the air podcase on
23:12
Speaker 1: this one before I had some ripoff AirPods. These were
23:15
Speaker 1: the actual AirPods. I just got these like a year ago.
23:18
Speaker 1: So the air pod case hit the and it was
23:21
Speaker 1: very hot, you know, we had this was it Mario.
23:24
Speaker 1: The tropical storm Mario was off the Pacific coast this week.
23:28
Speaker 3: Yeah, for those on the East coast Mario.
23:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, we actually got rain and it was very humid.
23:34
Speaker 1: It felt like floored. I felt like I was in
23:36
Speaker 1: the South, Yes, this week in southern California. I don't
23:39
Speaker 1: like the humidity. I felt like we were in the
23:40
Speaker 1: humidity South Carolina or something. So the air pod case
23:44
Speaker 1: hit the ninety it seemed like I think it was
23:46
Speaker 1: ninety five ninety seven degrees something like that asphalt, and
23:51
Speaker 1: it made that kind of sickening clatter sound, you know.
23:54
Speaker 1: And I'm looking down and it's like slow motion as
23:56
Speaker 1: this has happened, like, oh man, no, So I of
24:03
Speaker 1: course then go down. I scooped down to grab the
24:06
Speaker 1: case of the AirPods. I then opened them up and discovered,
24:10
Speaker 1: to my horror that I had the case to the headphones,
24:15
Speaker 1: but when it hit the ground, there were no headphones inside.
24:19
Speaker 1: They had been ejected like out of a plane, the
24:22
Speaker 1: parachuters abandon the planes.
24:25
Speaker 3: It was like you were shooting dice.
24:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So suddenly my priority was no longer the workout.
24:32
Speaker 1: At this point it became a search and rescue mission
24:35
Speaker 1: to try to find my air buds. And I scoured
24:39
Speaker 1: the parking lot. In between my car and the car
24:42
Speaker 1: next to me. I'm scanning the blacktop. It's shimmering with
24:45
Speaker 1: heat waves. Right, I'm like, oh crap, I don't see anything.
24:49
Speaker 1: And you should be able to find these, the little
24:51
Speaker 1: white earbuds on a black blacktop. You should be a
24:55
Speaker 1: fun So my hunch was that they just rolled under
24:59
Speaker 1: the car and and I should just be able to
25:01
Speaker 1: get down there and grab them, no problem. So I
25:05
Speaker 1: did the thing you didn't want to do on a
25:07
Speaker 1: very hot day on hot asphalt. I dropped to my
25:10
Speaker 1: knees on the boiling asphalt. Danny and I became at
25:14
Speaker 1: that point that became a suburban explorer.
25:18
Speaker 3: This was not the Lax Airport parking lot, right.
25:21
Speaker 1: He blew me off at a hotel near Lax. No no, no, no,
25:26
Speaker 1: no no no. So I'm peering into the darkness here,
25:28
Speaker 1: I'm peering into the darkness. And at this point I
25:31
Speaker 1: can't see anything because even though it was the daylight,
25:33
Speaker 1: the car the shade. So then I, of course I
25:36
Speaker 1: did what anyone would do. I grabbed my phone to
25:38
Speaker 1: turn the light on on my phone. So now I'm
25:42
Speaker 1: on the ground, I've got my arm extended with the
25:45
Speaker 1: light on of my phone, and sure enough I did
25:48
Speaker 1: spot one AirPod tucked under the belly of the malamobile.
25:55
Speaker 1: And unfortunately, it is Murphy's law, it was just out
25:59
Speaker 1: of reach of my hand. You know, you know how
26:01
Speaker 1: you reach for something, Danny, you just can't quite get it.
26:04
Speaker 1: It's just a little bit past where your arm will reach.
26:07
Speaker 1: And so my arm wasn't long enough. My pride even
26:11
Speaker 1: shorter at this particular point. But I was still like,
26:15
Speaker 1: I was like, where's the other earbud? And so the
26:19
Speaker 1: dilemma that I had, as you referenced, Danny, I'm a klutz.
26:23
Speaker 1: This has happened to me before. This is not the
26:25
Speaker 1: first time. I'm sure it will not be the last time.
26:26
Speaker 1: So here's the dilemma. Was I couldn't just move the
26:31
Speaker 1: car without Why couldn't I just move the car because
26:35
Speaker 1: if I did, I might end up by accident crushing
26:38
Speaker 1: the other earbud because I didn't know where it was.
26:41
Speaker 1: I hadn't recovered it. I didn't know where it was.
26:43
Speaker 1: So here I am a grown ass man, sprawled out again.
26:49
Speaker 1: I'm on the asphalt there, covered at this point in
26:52
Speaker 1: asphalt grime, and I'm essentially re enacting like it was
26:57
Speaker 1: like a Vaudevillian slapstick thing. It was like the old
27:00
Speaker 1: Three Stooges, except it was just me and all I
27:03
Speaker 1: needed was the the Benny Hill soundtrack. That's all I needed.
27:09
Speaker 1: And it's one of those things, you know, this happens
27:12
Speaker 1: to us things I missing things slowing down when I
27:15
Speaker 1: dropped the earbuds. So this felt like I was on
27:19
Speaker 1: the ground for thirty minutes. It was probably just a
27:22
Speaker 1: few minutes. And then then here we go, Dan, this
27:26
Speaker 1: is where the story takes a plot twist. So a
27:29
Speaker 1: scene right out of Dickens My Salvation arrived a passing
27:34
Speaker 1: jimbro in his car. Seeing what was going on. In
27:39
Speaker 1: his peripheral vision, he sees me and feeling pity, he
27:45
Speaker 1: rolled down the window and shouted, hey, hey Bro, you're
27:49
Speaker 1: looking for your AirPod like that right, So why yes?
27:54
Speaker 1: I am? Yes, I am. I was like out of
27:59
Speaker 1: the wonderful life or something. My guardian Angel, Danny. He
28:03
Speaker 1: pointed it a say, it's under your right front tire,
28:06
Speaker 1: bro and uh, and then.
28:08
Speaker 3: He ran the hell did he see that yet binoculars?
28:11
Speaker 1: I guess because of where he was positioned, he could
28:15
Speaker 1: see what I couldn't see because I was on the
28:18
Speaker 1: side and he was in the front. Anyway, I don't
28:20
Speaker 1: know how it got there because I dropped it on
28:22
Speaker 1: the driver's side door and it ended up in front
28:25
Speaker 1: of the passenger tire. I don't know how it ended
28:28
Speaker 1: up there. So anyway, thanks to that person, it was
28:32
Speaker 1: wedged precariously in the exact spot where I was worried, Danny,
28:36
Speaker 1: if I moved the car, I would have turned the
28:39
Speaker 1: you know, a couple hundred dollars headphone technology into roadkill.
28:43
Speaker 1: And just like that, that AirPod Angel. I don't know
28:47
Speaker 1: who this guy was. He saved me from myself and
28:49
Speaker 1: I recovered the earbud. The story had a happy ending.
28:52
Speaker 1: I staggered into the gym. I could imagine.
28:54
Speaker 3: I can imagine though, when you first had to get
28:56
Speaker 3: down on the hot asphalt.
28:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was terrible. But it gets even worse, Danny,
29:01
Speaker 1: It gets even worse right, So here I am. I
29:03
Speaker 1: recover the earbud. I staggered into the gym defeated, right,
29:07
Speaker 1: But I not necessarily defeated, because I got my earbuds back.
29:10
Speaker 1: But at this point, I'm disheveled, I'm sweaty, I smell.
29:15
Speaker 1: I haven't even worked out yet, and I've got you know,
29:18
Speaker 1: when you lay on the asphalt, you get that black
29:20
Speaker 1: kind of asphalt dust crap on ith. Yeah, so my
29:24
Speaker 1: clothes have it, my knees have it. I'm looking like
29:28
Speaker 1: it doesn't look like I'm a member of the gym.
29:29
Speaker 1: It looks like I'm a vagrant, like a hobo that
29:32
Speaker 1: just made a wrong turn. They let me in the
29:33
Speaker 1: gym out a pity, and people were looking at me,
29:38
Speaker 1: and I don't want you look. Don't look at me, Okay,
29:40
Speaker 1: come on, look at the beautiful people. Don't look at me.
29:43
Speaker 1: And anyway, the earbuds were in my ears. They got
29:46
Speaker 1: some music going. I was futching around on my phone
29:49
Speaker 1: and all was right in the world after that, And
29:52
Speaker 1: so there you go. It's rarely another another story. Dad.
29:57
Speaker 1: It's not not about the treadmill. It's about the moments
30:00
Speaker 1: before you even get to the treadmill in this case.
30:02
Speaker 1: And so whoever that person was, I'm sure they won't
30:05
Speaker 1: hear this the AirPod angel, but thank you. I appreciate that.
30:08
Speaker 1: I did not expect someone to save me from myself there.
30:12
Speaker 1: So there you go. And I guess the lesson for
30:14
Speaker 1: me next time, and I have done this multiple times,
30:17
Speaker 1: is when I get my headphones, at least leave the
30:19
Speaker 1: car doors closed when I go for my headphones. Wouldn't
30:23
Speaker 1: that be the smart move rather than get out of
30:24
Speaker 1: the car and open up the headphones?
30:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, reverse order. I gotta remember to do that.
30:29
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm usually tired when I go there, so
30:32
Speaker 1: that's part of the problem. All right, Well we'll get
30:34
Speaker 1: out on that, Danny. It is Saturday, I say, I said,
30:37
Speaker 1: I'll be watching some of this college football today off
30:39
Speaker 1: and on. I do have some things I have to
30:41
Speaker 1: do in between that, and I'll be checking that out.
30:44
Speaker 1: So we got that going on. Anything you've got today.
30:47
Speaker 1: I'll be watching Benny Versus the Penny as well. I'll
30:49
Speaker 1: be watching that seventeen times today, so that's exciting. Yeah.
30:52
Speaker 3: I have notes in front of me right now for
30:54
Speaker 3: new rules for that game.
30:56
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, got workshop at Frankenstein's left.
31:00
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be working all weekend. In fact, not just
31:03
Speaker 3: on this podcast, but uh, next Friday, it's going to
31:07
Speaker 3: be the third birthday for Covino and Rich in Afternoon Drive,
31:10
Speaker 3: And as we've discussed on this show before, they actually
31:13
Speaker 3: well they celebrated for the listeners because they're their core,
31:16
Speaker 3: they're p ones. The cnrp ones love nostalgia. So I
31:20
Speaker 3: always make sure to put a little audio collage together,
31:24
Speaker 3: highlights and funny moments from the past three years.
31:27
Speaker 1: All right, that's good.
31:28
Speaker 3: So I'll be in front of my Adobe editing system
31:31
Speaker 3: with sore hands, and I'll have that you know that
31:35
Speaker 3: mouse hand. Do you ever get that where you're on
31:36
Speaker 3: your mouse, your computer mouse so much that your hand
31:40
Speaker 3: just conforms to that shape.
31:42
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you get your muscle twitching kind Yeah, yeah,
31:46
Speaker 1: that's my what's gain? That's good? You doing that anyone?
31:48
Speaker 1: As you know Danny and the Overnight show, Coop does
31:50
Speaker 1: that for me all the time every Oh yeah, yeah,
31:52
Speaker 1: it's believable the amount of work he puts in. All right,
31:55
Speaker 1: have a great rest of your Saturday, and we've got
31:58
Speaker 1: the mail bag on Sunday. We'll talk to you then.
32:01
Speaker 3: See you tomorrow for the mailbag. Later Skater by Fallacious