Latest / UK Column Radio / Reflections on a Day with Mothers Separated from Their Children
Transcript
- 0:06Good afternoon. Great pleasure for me to have
- 0:11Gemma Cooper with me in the studio.
- 0:13Now Gemma, I'm really pleased to say, has joined the UK column
- 0:18team. So Gemma, welcome.
- 0:20This is your first time in the studio with me, but welcome to
- 0:24the UK column. Well, thank you.
- 0:25I mean it. It's an honour.
- 0:27It's a real honour. I've spent my my entire career
- 0:30in in the mainstream media, left the BBC in 2021 and then I've
- 0:35been an alternative media ever since and worked for a variety
- 0:37of organisations. But it's UK column.
- 0:41I mean, it's just brilliant for me, absolutely brilliant.
- 0:44Excellent. Thank you for the kind words.
- 0:46Now I remember the first interview that I did with you.
- 0:49I can't remember how long ago it was.
- 0:50It was a couple of years ago, wasn't it?
- 0:53And you wore a very nice yellow jacket, but that didn't go too
- 0:57well with our, with our green screen.
- 1:00So you're looking lovely today, presentable in front of the
- 1:04camera and you're not wearing yellow.
- 1:05So that's that's a plus point. That was a schoolboy error on my
- 1:09part. Yeah.
- 1:10Well, OK. And viewers of course can't see
- 1:14it, but actually we we are in a very different studio from the
- 1:18one that we've operated for many years.
- 1:20And this is the result of Mike Robinson doing a a big change
- 1:26round with help from Patrick Henningsen.
- 1:29So there was a good bit of teamwork going on there.
- 1:31So we're in a much nicer studio layout and one of the things
- 1:37that this has made it easier to do is is have a little bit more
- 1:40of an informal chat in the studio.
- 1:43So I said to Gemma, relax, it's going to be an easy one to do.
- 1:48And I think you were quite impressed when you you walked in
- 1:51to see the new layout. Absolutely, yeah.
- 1:53I mean, it doesn't look any different for you guys at home.
- 1:56You still see the classic UK column with the hoe behind us
- 1:58and everything. But actually from a broadcast
- 2:01standpoint, there's lots of exciting things happening here
- 2:04and the studio looks amazing and I think people may see some
- 2:07changes in the future. Well, there's, yeah, there's a
- 2:10lot more to come, but that, that'll, that'll be enough of a
- 2:14little bit of advertising the UK column.
- 2:16But it's, it's, we're working very hard not only to do more,
- 2:21but to make what we, what we do look better.
- 2:24Professional, Yes. But at the end of the day, we
- 2:27don't want to be too professional because then all
- 2:29sorts of accusations are made that we're too like that
- 2:32dreadful organisation. I'm not going to mention.
- 2:36So this was a little discussion between Gemma and myself which I
- 2:42prompted and it's as a result of the fact that last week I was
- 2:48given the opportunity to speak at a gathering of mums who've
- 2:54had their children taken away through the so called Family
- 2:58Court Child Protection System. And it was a great privilege for
- 3:03me because the organisation simply works with mums.
- 3:09And they specifically said to to me that there were no men who
- 3:15were allowed to come anywhere near the meetings because some
- 3:18of the mums have had problems in relationships.
- 3:21So for me as a male to be invited to go and spend the day
- 3:26with the mums and and to give a talk, a short talk was a great
- 3:31privilege. I decided that it would be good
- 3:35if I took Gemma and the joke that we shared with the ladies
- 3:39of course, was that as the only male present, I needed a
- 3:43chaperone. So Gemma kindly volunteered to
- 3:46come as my chaperone for the day.
- 3:50Of course she wasn't needed because the mums were lovely and
- 3:54we had some really wonderful conversations with them and they
- 3:58were very welcoming. So now I'm not mentioning the
- 4:02name of the of the little charity.
- 4:05And this is because it's early days in, in our relationship and
- 4:13they have to be very careful in the sorts of material that
- 4:17they're putting out and sharing. And so I was invited to give a
- 4:23talk. We are going to talk to you, the
- 4:27UK column audience, a little bit about how we found it.
- 4:30And I was particularly interested in how Gemma saw
- 4:34things because Gemma has has got a little bit of understanding
- 4:38about what goes on when children are taken.
- 4:42But this was the first time that she for some that you've been
- 4:47able to meet in one environment. How many mums was it?
- 4:5224 I think or 25? Yeah.
- 4:56And, and therefore I said to to Gemma because she was new to the
- 5:01subject. I thought it would be really
- 5:04great if we had a chat where Gemma was able to tell me this
- 5:09is feedback from me, but it's also feedback from the UK column
- 5:13audience how how she found the event and how she found hearing
- 5:21the stories and the the cases that the women talked about.
- 5:25So are we allowed? We're allowed to say.
- 5:27We went to a nice hotel close to London and one of the meeting
- 5:33rooms in the hotel was set aside for the mums.
- 5:38Tell us how you found it, Gemma. I mean, where I don't really
- 5:43know where to start because it made, it really did make me look
- 5:45at myself that day because I did go still with a bit of a
- 5:49mainstream media journalist head on.
- 5:51And that was my, my bad. And I, I went thinking, no smoke
- 5:57without fire. You know, these are mothers that
- 5:59have had their children taken off them.
- 6:01If a father has a child taken off them, it's generally because
- 6:04he's a bit of a wrongan. So there, there must something
- 6:07must have happened for these mums to have their kids taken
- 6:09off them. And I was expecting to hear
- 6:13stories that made me think, oh, yeah.
- 6:15Well, you is no, no, no, the blame game, that kind of thing.
- 6:20I, I, I would hear things that make me think, well, I'm not
- 6:22surprised you had your kids taken off.
- 6:23You know, I had a very mainstream media trained head on
- 6:25when I walked through the door, but what I got was the exact
- 6:29opposite. And I was so overwhelmed by the
- 6:32amount of heart centred, empathic empaths, really women
- 6:38that had just lived lives of, of not all, some had had very nice
- 6:42childhoods, but some had had very traumatic childhoods.
- 6:45So it had LED them to make not poor choices, but to maybe be
- 6:51gravitate towards partners who really weren't suitable for them
- 6:54because they were very empathic themselves and hearing stories
- 6:58that they came out with about what happened via maybe the
- 7:02control of the partner, which is why they didn't want any men
- 7:04there. It there were some parallels in
- 7:07my own life where I thought I've had experiences like that, not
- 7:12all, but with partners with control issues and what I came
- 7:16away with. The take out for me, the biggest
- 7:17take out was when some of the stories I heard, I thought this
- 7:21isn't actually even about the child, it's about the control of
- 7:24the woman through the child from the partner.
- 7:27That was some of the stories that I got.
- 7:28I didn't get to speak to all 24 women, but the few of the
- 7:31stories that I got, it was very much the part of wanting to take
- 7:34the children away and have them so that the woman will be
- 7:37controlled by him. For the kid and I, some of the
- 7:42women were just so ones I spoke to, so warm and wonderful and I,
- 7:48I really was ashamed that I'd walked in there like a
- 7:51mainstream media journalist. So I already know the story
- 7:53before it's even come out. I know what I'm going to write.
- 7:55I know what I'm going to say. Well, that was blown out of the
- 7:58water. Thank you.
- 8:02Thank you very much for saying it in such, such a frank and
- 8:05honest way because I, I didn't know how you would find, I knew
- 8:09you would find it difficult. But of course, key thing for me
- 8:14to say to the audience is this is the first I've dealt with.
- 8:17I don't know how many mums cases over the years that I've dealt
- 8:21with, but this was the first time that I've been able to be
- 8:26with a group of women. And initially you and I sat
- 8:34outside while they said just give us some time to just to
- 8:40relax the women. And I was very happy to do that,
- 8:44of course. And we sat and had had a coffee.
- 8:47But when about an hour later, the door opened and we were
- 8:53encouraged to come in, it was obvious that inside that room
- 8:57had been a lot of emotion. And what we were subsequently
- 9:03able to see was of course that there were some mums who'd been
- 9:06associated with the charity for some time.
- 9:10And what does the charity do? Its main job is to help support
- 9:16and stabilise and strengthen women who've had their children
- 9:20taken away. So some of the women who'd been
- 9:24involved with the charity longer were clearly working very hard
- 9:29to calm down and support the mums who were new to the whole
- 9:34thing. And a comment which stuck in my
- 9:37head very quickly when we went into the room was, was one of
- 9:42the ladies said, well, of course, Brian, what you've got
- 9:44to remember is every one of these women would prefer not to
- 9:49be here. And that was that was a very
- 9:53telling comment for me. So, so even the idea of coming
- 9:58together with other mums where of support and they're
- 10:03strengthened by hearing other cases, it's not just them, but
- 10:07even having to listen to other mums talking about it, that was
- 10:11a that was a powerful emotion. Yeah, and there were lots of
- 10:14tears, lots of tears. And, and some women stood up and
- 10:18told their stories very bravely, very courageously, straight from
- 10:23the heart. And then, of course, you know,
- 10:25it's such a deep emotional issue, the mother child bond,
- 10:29you know, you're not talking about maybe going through a bad
- 10:32divorce or which is traumatic enough, But these this is this
- 10:36is the the ultimate love bond. And you.
- 10:40So the triggering was going on all the time, you know, and
- 10:43suddenly you would hear some howls from the corner of the
- 10:47room as women just lost it because it was bringing up
- 10:51everything for them. And I mean, I had tears.
- 10:54I had tears when you played that very emotive film where we saw,
- 10:58and it was a very powerful thing to do in that room where we
- 11:01played some clips. We've already showed on the
- 11:02column anonymous clips of when people in social services and
- 11:06police have come to take children away from their mums.
- 11:09And that got the whole room, myself included.
- 11:11I've seen it on the column. But seeing it in that room with
- 11:15all the emotion and energy there, I, I was, I'd gone.
- 11:19I was crying. I was like, Oh my goodness me.
- 11:22But having said that, it was still really a very professional
- 11:25day, very well organised, very well held.
- 11:28The space was held really well for those women and for us as as
- 11:34a meteorite. It was just, yeah, the emotion
- 11:36was the emotion. Was.
- 11:37Actually was overwhelming. It was overwhelming.
- 11:40Absolutely, absolutely true. At the start or near the start,
- 11:48there was a very nice lady called Debbie who was trained in
- 11:53order to give professional help. So counselling and psychology.
- 11:59And it was interesting to see her give a little bit of a talk
- 12:03about what she did and, and how how she tried to help calm down
- 12:10and strengthen some of the women.
- 12:11And, and because of the emotion that you were talking about
- 12:15there, Gemma in the day, she, she had to use her skills at
- 12:19several times during, during the day when mums in hearing what
- 12:25was being said were absolutely overcome with emotion.
- 12:29And I I thought she did a really good job at at working with them
- 12:33to to get them in a better, better frame of mind.
- 12:36Absolutely. And it and that and again it was
- 12:39how that the charity had held the space.
- 12:41They knew that they would need somebody like that.
- 12:43They knew that people were going to break down and and she was
- 12:47the kind of fulcrum of, you know, where you could go and she
- 12:49would, she was holding the space for a lot of women who were just
- 12:53in floods. Close to it.
- 12:55Well, we, we saw one of the speakers, you know, very bravely
- 13:00told her story and then just almost collapsed at the end of
- 13:03the motion and shaking and sobbing.
- 13:05And it was, it was so much bravery there.
- 13:08Yes, but something which I learnt from that group of women,
- 13:12which I I've not learnt from the other mums that I've talked to.
- 13:16And that was that for many of them it's, it's a feeling of
- 13:20shame that these terrible circumstances have happened.
- 13:26Sometimes they clearly haven't made good choices in their
- 13:29lives. But do they deserve to have
- 13:32their children simply taken away, or babies taken away or
- 13:35all their children taken away? The answer has got to be no.
- 13:40But it it came to the surface quite quickly that a lot of
- 13:43them, one of the key things stopping them moving forward was
- 13:47that as a result of what had happened to them, they felt this
- 13:50intense shame inside. And that, that was something I I
- 13:54absolutely learnt from. Yes, and and I do remember in
- 13:59one of the early conversations of the day where one of the
- 14:02women spoke to me and said, you know, you do carry.
- 14:05It's a shame because people do have the attitude of there's no
- 14:08smoke without fire. There's got to be a reason this
- 14:11has happened. Well, we are there are reasons,
- 14:13but they're not the reasons you would think that the women are
- 14:15incapable mothers. They're different reasons, which
- 14:17we'll probably go into. And I but I did think at the
- 14:20start of the day, I was thinking like that.
- 14:21Well, you know, it's got to be something here and what what I
- 14:26heard, I was just it makes it made me question everything
- 14:28again. I question everything anyway
- 14:31since leaving the mainstream and before that and but you know,
- 14:34the the system, the reasons behind controlling women, why
- 14:41sever the mother child bond? Why this rush to you know, and
- 14:44you answered some of those questions actually when when you
- 14:46gave your presentation. But but yeah, the questions I
- 14:50came away with were not the questions.
- 14:51I walked in that door at the beginning of the day.
- 14:54It was a transformative day. It, it was absolutely I, I was
- 15:00very, very impressed with the way that the charity was
- 15:05approaching its work. So what's the important thing
- 15:08for them? Strengthening the women, taking
- 15:11them from being Rex in some cases, and I don't mean that in
- 15:15any disparaging way, but women in very bad place to get them
- 15:19strengthened. So at least they can start to
- 15:24have a life and then when they get stronger in that life,
- 15:29hopefully they're in a position where they can go on to have a
- 15:33better life and or be doing something to carry on fighting
- 15:39for their children. But the overall theme that the
- 15:44overall emotion through that is, is the loss of the children.
- 15:48And as one of them said to me, The thing is, if your child
- 15:52dies, but you have to accept that and you grieve and then,
- 15:56then you can move on. But if you don't have your child
- 16:00and you don't know where your child is and you don't know how
- 16:03they're being treated, your mind is just full of the emotion of
- 16:07your lost child the whole time. And so that was, that was
- 16:13another very powerful thing that was said, said to me.
- 16:17But the charity tries to build the mothers up and this is, this
- 16:22is fantastic. And what, what I tried to do in
- 16:26that presentation was to be saying that if you are in a
- 16:31stronger place as a, as a mother, you can fight for your
- 16:35children better. So you're going to perform
- 16:37better in court if you're in a stronger place.
- 16:41And I don't know, you might have thought I was being a bit brutal
- 16:45at one stage, but I said to the mothers what I believe is
- 16:49absolutely true, that if the mums cry at the wrong time, they
- 16:54lose. Because there's nothing the
- 16:56court loves better than an absolute broken emotional mum.
- 17:00Because then they can accuse her of being having emotional
- 17:03problems and breakdown and being an unsuitable mother.
- 17:07So if you show too much emotion, the system attacks you and if
- 17:11you show too little emotion. And several of the mums actually
- 17:15talked about that, didn't they? They did, yeah.
- 17:18And then they said the paradox is, of course, because the
- 17:20system seems very geared to this subjugation of women.
- 17:25Is they? They said if the woman cries,
- 17:27that's it, Game over. You know, she's a hysterical
- 17:30mess, not capable of looking after her kids.
- 17:32If if if a father cries, apparently these are the stories
- 17:35that were relayed to me. If a father cries in a family
- 17:38court, he's seen as a sensitive, caring man, not a hysterical,
- 17:44you know, piece of work. And and again, everything seems
- 17:47designed to just. Beat them down.
- 17:50Beat them down. Any showing of anything human,
- 17:55you know, forget it. Yes.
- 17:57Yeah. It's the system all over.
- 17:59Don't be human. Yeah, so the mum cries and she's
- 18:03going to lose because that that'll be used against her.
- 18:06And this is one of the things that I said and what I was
- 18:09trying to do was to actually to show those mums that there is a
- 18:14way of fighting, but they have to start to act in a different
- 18:18way. What they wear makes a
- 18:21difference. So a lot of mums will go into
- 18:24court wearing very casual clothes, the sorts of clothes
- 18:28they they probably feel comfortable in, but in the power
- 18:33dynamics of a court, that doesn't always put them in the
- 18:35best light, particularly if it's just a scruffy T shirt.
- 18:40And so in my mind, I can see that in the right place and the
- 18:44right time, some of these mums can be helped to fight more
- 18:49effectively through the family court system, as corrupt as it
- 18:54is, but they can do certain things to help that.
- 18:58And, and the other thing is that they have to understand what
- 19:02they're up against. And so I, that little film clip
- 19:08that I put together of the mums that we've done the interviews
- 19:11with. So that was, that was Sam, the
- 19:14black lady who's who's phenomenal, the Portuguese lady.
- 19:19So Sam who's had two children taken away, Yolanda who'd had a
- 19:24baby taken at birth. That was horrific, horrific. 1J,
- 19:30who was speaking out on the abuse of her granddaughter, and
- 19:34then the last lady who was anonymous was talking about
- 19:39having her two very young children taken away and she was
- 19:42holding up the dummy and the little.
- 19:46I'm not sure what you call the baby grow.
- 19:48Is that what it's called? Yeah, so she held up the dummy
- 19:51and the baby grow to say these were the only things that she
- 19:55got left to to remember her children by.
- 19:59Because of course in talking to me in the interview, she wasn't
- 20:02allowed to show photographs of her babies.
- 20:05So that film clip I really thought very hard about.
- 20:11It was only 9 minutes long, little clips of these mums
- 20:14speaking but I put it up in order to show the.
- 20:19The mums in the room, they were not alone and also the UK column
- 20:23knew what it was doing in interviewing them.
- 20:26But you said to me at one, one point stop it.
- 20:30And because that little video clip created a lot of very
- 20:36strong emotion amongst some of the women to the extent that
- 20:41they got so emotional they had to leave the room.
- 20:44But I didn't want to stop the clip because that was that was
- 20:49us demonstrating that we actually knew what what it was
- 20:52about. And and I got some nice comments
- 20:57about it at the end of the day, one lady said.
- 21:00I nearly couldn't watch it, but I did and I'm glad I did.
- 21:03I thought you doing that was a gamble.
- 21:06I mean it was the second half of the day and and you were
- 21:08obviously showing the charity and all of the mums in there
- 21:11what the column column was about the coverage that we've done on
- 21:15the state stealing children, which is what this is, is all
- 21:18about. State stealing.
- 21:19Yeah, state stealing children and you were obviously showing
- 21:23the women look, this is this is our pedigree.
- 21:24This is the work that particularly you have done and
- 21:26the column have done and then include.
- 21:30So it came in with stories and and a few stories of head shots
- 21:34with mums, but then got into those very emotive clips and the
- 21:37dummy and the baby grow and the one at the end where the police
- 21:41turned up at someone's house to take tiny children out of their
- 21:44mother's arms. That got that got the whole
- 21:46room. And I was like, Brian, turn it
- 21:48off. And you were like, no, I'm going
- 21:49to show it. And I thought, God, that's that
- 21:51is quite brutal and quite, you know, none of these mums do they
- 21:55need to have their trauma re triggered to such an extent.
- 21:57But it did work. It did.
- 22:00It did work and I think that it it did get them to trust the
- 22:05column and trust that we can help, which is what we want to
- 22:08do. And we know what we're talking
- 22:09about. What we're talking about is the
- 22:11key thing. And the other bit that we did
- 22:15is, is, well, which I thought was an important thing to talk
- 22:19about, was to be showing them the size of the beast that
- 22:23they're up against, that many of them think that everything
- 22:26that's happened to them is just focused on them as individuals.
- 22:31When in fact, 24 mums in the room showed no, no, this is
- 22:34happening to a lot of other mums.
- 22:35It's thousands. It's the reality.
- 22:38But how big the beast is, they're up against.
- 22:42And to try and demonstrate how cruel the system is, I put up
- 22:47the little BBC clip of the Tory whip, Tim Fortescue.
- 22:53I think the date was 1995. You can find that on YouTube as
- 22:58a little interview the whip gave to the BBC in which he casually
- 23:03says, well, MPs came to us with their problems.
- 23:07It could be money, it could be little boys and we fixed it for
- 23:12them. And why did we fix it?
- 23:15We fixed it because then they would do as we asked.
- 23:18So there you have a senior politician with immense power.
- 23:24I think he was the chief whip, but certainly a whip admitting
- 23:29that the Conservative Party was covering up the abuse of
- 23:34children in order that they could blackmail MPs into doing
- 23:38what the party political system wanted.
- 23:40And, and that clip in front of the mums also, because I had
- 23:45several of them say to me, I've never seen that clip before.
- 23:49And I said to them, do you understand what it means?
- 23:51Oh, they got what it what it meant.
- 23:54Yeah, they did. They did.
- 23:55They did. Yeah.
- 23:56And I thought it was very well done how you did say to the
- 24:00women, oh, I bet they said this to you in court.
- 24:04Yeah, they did. Oh, I bet your social worker
- 24:05might have said this. Yeah.
- 24:07And it's like, it's a patent. It's a script.
- 24:10It's a template that that the system is using to, to to take
- 24:15these children. And of course you do because
- 24:17they're so heightened, you, they take it, internalise it and
- 24:22think, well, it's because of me, which is probably some of the
- 24:25backgrounds that these women have had, the childhoods, they
- 24:27have internalised a lot and thought, oh, this is because of
- 24:30me. You know, this trauma is about
- 24:32this environment. It's because of me because
- 24:33that's how children think. And then you carry it with you
- 24:35to the rest of your life. So it's trauma upon trauma.
- 24:38And I think the system knows very well hearing that, you
- 24:41know, it is a template. It's nothing to do with you.
- 24:43It's just a template to get your kids is that the system knows
- 24:47how to manipulate people in trauma.
- 24:49We saw that 2020 onwards. I mean, you put the whole world
- 24:52in trauma and you can manipulate it and make it do whatever you
- 24:55want. And so that's what the system is
- 24:57doing on a on a smaller scale was not that small with this
- 25:00taking of kids. Yes, and we we then did our best
- 25:05to lead them to. Well, OK, if you're going to
- 25:08fight something, you've got to understand what you're up
- 25:10against. But once we'd talked through
- 25:12that, the, the idea that the mums haven't got a drown in
- 25:18thousands of hundreds or thousands of pages of court
- 25:22documentation, which they see as the evidence.
- 25:25If, if the mums talk to you about what's happened in the
- 25:28case, to them, the evidence is, is, is everything that's in the
- 25:32court bundles. It's the emails, it's the
- 25:35letters, it's the telephone call transcripts.
- 25:38And, and I, I said to them what I really wanted to say to them,
- 25:43I know the evidence is you. And the more mums that come
- 25:46forward to talk about what's happened and how it's happened
- 25:50that that forms the real body of evidence and that is what needs
- 25:55to be exposed to the wider public.
- 25:58And we did get a response. So we, we, we have got 2-3
- 26:05ladies. I think there may be another one
- 26:07from that group who have been in contact with us and said, Oh my
- 26:12goodness, we, we, well, we got something out of what you did.
- 26:17And, and, and I think I'd like to speak out.
- 26:22And that is a huge plus because it means we've taken people from
- 26:28being, albeit in a very nice support group to say, no, don't
- 26:33just be in a support group. Come and fight.
- 26:36And that to me was was a big plus that we had that
- 26:40connectivity. Absolutely.
- 26:42But I do think it's down as well, the testament as I go back
- 26:44to the start of, like, I was expecting a certain type of
- 26:48person when I walked through the door.
- 26:49And what I found was bravery, strength, empathy and so much
- 26:54courage. And I think, you know,
- 26:56explaining things the way you did to them.
- 26:59I mean, I was just an observer, but making, you know, contacts.
- 27:03But it did spark something in a lot of them where they thought,
- 27:05yeah, I'm going to do it because they want, one, they want their
- 27:09kids back and two, they seen so much injustice and that bravery
- 27:13in all of them. That heart centred was the word
- 27:16courage comes. It means karage, doesn't it?
- 27:18I think it comes from the heart, yeah.
- 27:21And that's so we, yeah. Brilliant that we've got some
- 27:24from that group that will speak to us and the stories I think
- 27:29will resonate with more and more people.
- 27:31That's the reach of those stories and the issue itself, It
- 27:35comes more into the public. Yeah, comes up.
- 27:37Yeah. So looking back on it now, few
- 27:42days have gone past. Looking back on it, what do you
- 27:46think you got out of it? Well, I looked at myself and I
- 27:52thought, I looked at myself and my mainstream media training and
- 27:55I thought it hasn't left me yet. So indoctrinated how they train
- 27:58you in the mainstream that you know what the story is before
- 28:00you go. And I did have a bit of that in
- 28:03my head. So it really made me look at
- 28:04myself that I was quite embarrassed actually that I'd
- 28:08gone in with that attitude. But that's that's my
- 28:11brainwashing for my, my former career.
- 28:14And then I was thinking about the women and the ones that I
- 28:17spoke to and how they were parallels, the some parallels
- 28:21with my own life and going through trauma in a, in a
- 28:24particular relationship, which wasn't very healthy for me.
- 28:27And I, and I was hearing that and I was really hearing about
- 28:30this control of women. It's about the control of women.
- 28:33That was what this, my instincts were telling me is this is all
- 28:36about keeping women in their place almost.
- 28:39It's, it's really hard to explain unless you were there.
- 28:43But the women's stories in themselves with the ones I spoke
- 28:46to were so similar about the abusive partner, about the
- 28:49domestic violence and about escaping the domestic violence,
- 28:53escaping the partner. And as soon as they asked for
- 28:56the divorce or said, I'm leaving you, I don't want to be battered
- 28:59anymore, that was when, right, I'm getting the kids, I'm going
- 29:03to take the kids. If you're going to leave me,
- 29:04I'll get the kids. And they did.
- 29:05They did. They did.
- 29:06The partners did. And I thought, yeah, this is all
- 29:09about, this is about you. It's not about the kids.
- 29:11And also one woman said to me the the husband or boyfriend had
- 29:15said I'll go to prison or I'll die before I see you get the
- 29:19kids back. And I thought that's how walked
- 29:21it is. And then, and then the court,
- 29:23the whole court system works to support the abusive partner, to
- 29:30gain the children. This, this is the story.
- 29:33And, and of course, for the women, it's a nightmare because
- 29:36most of them don't want, well, they obviously don't want to go
- 29:40near the family court. But when when they do, they're
- 29:43approaching it that this court is going to be fair and it's
- 29:47going to come to sensible decisions.
- 29:49And then they're in, they're in this closed court.
- 29:52Star Chamber is what it is with no jury and no proper press
- 29:57where everything is turned on them.
- 29:59That's what's so vicious about it.
- 30:02And that's what does so much damage to them, I think.
- 30:05Yeah, absolutely. Well, the system's been geared
- 30:07up. We want to go really deep.
- 30:09The system's been geared up against women for quite some
- 30:12time and but then I was also approaching it from another
- 30:15level and there was a lot of talk in there from me to other
- 30:18women about this rise of the divine feminine, which has been
- 30:21banded about in some circles. Not everybody will resonate with
- 30:24that. And I thought these these women
- 30:26in this charity and the ones that are now brave enough to
- 30:29speak out, bravely speaking out, this is some kind of energetic
- 30:33shift which we saw 20-20 onwards of like people saying no to the
- 30:38system and saying no, you're not telling me what to put in my
- 30:42body and you're certainly not having my kids.
- 30:44And it was the same kind of dynamic on a smaller scale of
- 30:47what a lot of us collectively in 2020 said, no, this is wrong,
- 30:52I'm not staying at home, this is all wrong.
- 30:54Instinctively in my heart, I know this is all wrong and these
- 30:56women are feeling the same, the same way.
- 30:58And, and, and she's something we should mention is that for a lot
- 31:02of the women in these cases, certainly there was a couple in
- 31:06that room. But for a lot of women who've
- 31:08experienced these problems countrywide, it was compounded
- 31:13during locked COVID lockdown. Because if you've got an abusive
- 31:17partner and you're locked up with them, 20 fours at 4 hours a
- 31:20day, seven days a week, because the government puts you in that
- 31:23situation that caused huge problems.
- 31:26And This is why statistically, you can see this huge surge in
- 31:31children that were taken, taken during that period.
- 31:35So, yeah, this is a very interesting point.
- 31:37I, it was a privilege. It was an incredible day.
- 31:43I was able to speak, sit and chat to a couple of the ladies
- 31:47sort of at the end of the day before I before I drove back.
- 31:51But in my drive from close to London back down to Plymouth,
- 31:56yeah, it was a swirl in my brain.
- 31:58It really made an impact on me. And in fact, it was there
- 32:01Saturday morning in particular, so very emotional.
- 32:06But what a privilege to be invited to, you know, to go and
- 32:10meet them. And I was asked if I'd write a
- 32:14little article for their newsletter, which I've done.
- 32:17I'm waiting to know whether my words have been approved.
- 32:21But if, if they do use those words that text in their
- 32:25newsletter, then I will feel that it's OK to pop that up on
- 32:30the UK Con website with this video and and our viewers get a
- 32:36better reflection of of the day. I'll emphasise that the reason
- 32:42I'm being coy about the charity is because they receive funding,
- 32:45of course, from a number of sources.
- 32:48They need to function as a charity because they're they're
- 32:51doing good work. But yeah, people have got reason
- 32:54to believe that if they they deal with news channels that are
- 32:58challenging the system, maybe this will cause problems.
- 33:01And we don't want to cause any problem to their setup and their
- 33:05organisation and their funding stream.
- 33:07But what I am hoping is that they're also going to perhaps
- 33:11give, give the UK column permission to do a one off
- 33:16fundraiser for them because I'd really like to raise money for
- 33:19that group of women because I think they're doing a brilliant
- 33:23job. Oh yeah.
- 33:24So we'll see what happens. Well, there we are.
- 33:27Gemma. That wasn't too painful, was it?
- 33:30Well, it was a brilliant experience for me and now being
- 33:33in the studio to talk about it, it's my first appearance in the
- 33:36new studio, first since I began working with you guys a few
- 33:39months ago. And it would think it's just, it
- 33:42was a really interesting day in how the column goes out and
- 33:46showcases what we do. We're not the mainstream, we
- 33:50never will be. And we tackle the stories and
- 33:52this is the story the mainstream should be absolutely
- 33:54investigating. Of course, it won't go near it.
- 33:55We all know why. So for me, it was, it was a
- 33:59double whammy really in in how the columns journalism is
- 34:04received. And it was received
- 34:06exceptionally well by an exceptional group of people.
- 34:09And yeah, collaboration is key in these crazy times.
- 34:12So we hope to support them as much as we can.
- 34:14Do more. Brilliant Gemma, thank you very
- 34:16much for joining me in the UK column Studio.
- 34:19Thank you very much. Nice to be here.
- 34:22Yeah.