Latest / Honey Badger Radio / Introducing Chandler Remington Paralegal & Advocate for #MenToo | Fireside Chat 226

Transcript

Introducing Chandler Remington Paralegal & Advocate for #MenToo | Fireside Chat 226 · Honey Badger Radio

0:00
Hello everybody, and walking on Honey Badger Radio. My name is Brian and
0:03
this is the Fireside Chat. I think we're on like one hundred and twenty
0:08
something, one hundred, No, two hundred, I'm sorry, two hundred
0:11
and twenty six. And we have a very special guest, Chandler Remington.
0:16
Ze correct, Chandler, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for
0:19
having me. All right, no, it's it's actually I'm kind of excited,
0:23
unreasonably so, I guess. But oh right, my dog wants something.
0:27
Okay, go to your bed. I'm gonna give him a treat.
0:29
Because people like hanging out with Jojoe as well. I forgot to mention that
0:32
I have my dog here, so go go sit there, go on,
0:35
go go all right here, that's for you. Okay, yeah, he's
0:39
he's all right anyway. UM, so you are a paralegal and you started
0:48
the small YouTube channel. It's just starting out, but I think that,
0:51
um, maybe we will give you the magic touch that we have here at
0:56
HBr. We we will have on guests and then they like later go on
0:59
to become really popular and well known. So you know, maybe I will
1:03
happen to you too. And I hope that it does. So let me,
1:07
I guess, start by asking how do you find yourself becoming a paralegal?
1:17
Like what got you? We're gonna get into like how you've got into
1:19
this business and why you wanted to do it, and then we'll find out
1:23
about little the things that you noticed once you started. While as far as
1:29
becoming a paralegal, I wanted to go to law school. I decided that
1:33
I wanted to become an attorney when I believe I was about twenty one,
1:37
and I was very interested in making sure that I could work in the legal
1:42
environment, that it was the right environment for me, and I wanted to
1:46
learn as much as I possibly could. And so after college, I decided
1:49
that I would do this parallegal program because my university happens to have an excellent
1:53
avia proof program. It gave me a really great start, and I really
1:57
enjoy doing paralegal work. I'm on my way to law school, but it's
2:01
it was the best way for me to do sort of pre lost stuff without
2:06
you know, having to commit at that time to three years of law school,
2:09
which would have been daunting. M So, um, you just knew
2:14
that you just liked the idea of going into law as a profession. You
2:19
you knew you wanted that, definitely. I took a philosophy class when I
2:24
was in community college before I transferred to my university, and we were given
2:29
this assignment where we had to do all these things with logical fallacies, and
2:32
I loved it. I took on the challenge. And my professor had been
2:37
an attorney and she recommended law school, and I felt like it really hit
2:40
me. Yeah, well, um, yeah, that's that's very interesting.
2:46
I got involved with philosophy as well, but I didn't learn it in school.
2:50
Actually, a lot of stuff I learned I learned on the internet,
2:53
weirdly enough. Yeah, so, um, okay, so you are apparently
2:57
go now, but you are working up to becoming an attorney. Are you
2:59
also ending law school at the same time? Or I am about to take
3:02
the alside in October? So I will be applying to law schools this year.
3:07
But for right now, I'm just I'm working as a paralegal. I
3:10
have been working with a couple of different attorneys, so I've actually met through
3:14
Twitter and through YouTube. I recently edited a book, Buying a Florida Attorney
3:19
about the Jack penalty. That was really exciting, and I've just made some
3:23
really incredible connections through social media that I never expected. Wow. Yeah,
3:27
I think that's probably the best use for social media as connecting with people that
3:30
you know, you you might be able to like have like a let's say,
3:35
a co beneficial relationship. Professionally, that is, um, so,
3:42
do you have a specific specialty that you're looking at? I know, I
3:46
don't know if like how this stuff works, but I know I know some
3:49
lawyers and they work at a specific you know, sort of sub genre I
3:53
guess of law. So do you have a specific specialty or focus. So
4:00
essentially, I don't have a particular field that I focus on, but they
4:03
are basically when you're when you become a paralegal, generally you go into one
4:09
of two areas of law. There's transactional law, which is really just like
4:12
reading and writing, you know, contracts, and then there's a litigation where
4:15
you actually go to court. So with transactional law, you don't really go
4:17
to court. But in your paralegal program, if you become a paralegal like
4:20
me, you learn how to prep witnesses and do things like that. So
4:25
I'm doing a lot of transactional law. I started in entertainment and I'm currently
4:28
working for a criminal defense attorney. Oh very cool. Well it's all where
4:34
still things are just getting rolling. But it sounds like you have an exciting
4:39
future and things that you're pursuing, and you know, you're working with interesting
4:43
people and doing really cool things. So why would you throw that all away
4:47
by advocating for men? You know? The funny thing is that's really I
4:57
am I did it really really interesting. There's actually a lot of really excellent
5:02
advocacy work for men in the legal fields, and I'm not sure if that's
5:06
something that I'm going to end up getting into. I don't really know how
5:09
to answer your question. I think that it's really funny. Great phrase.
5:13
Yeah, I'm just I am being just being funny, but yeah, a
5:16
little bit. But but you know, there is an organization in the United
5:19
States called NCFM of a National Coalition for Men, and they do have lawyers
5:25
that are there to help, you know, with various things. There was
5:29
one gentleman. Unfortunately he was murdered and I don't I don't want to make
5:33
this get really dark, but Mark Angelucci was his name, and he was
5:38
a very prominent lawyer and was a great friend of ours, and he was
5:42
doing a lot of really great work looking at constitutional law and things like that
5:47
for men. And so there's definitely, like, let's say, a lot
5:54
of untapped space legally in that in that arena. And there's also a great
6:01
woman who is a divorce lawyer that helps men as well. I forget her
6:06
name, but I did do an interview with her a few years ago.
6:09
So there are lots of people in that in that field. So I okay,
6:13
so let me get a serious question. And by the way, guys,
6:15
if you want to send a question to our guest Chandler, to just
6:21
send us a super chow by going to feedabatcher dot com, forward slash just
6:25
the tip to send us a tip and ask a question, or you can
6:28
send a super chat or a rumble rant and I will read them out loud
6:31
for her. All right, So, anyway, what was there a moment?
6:36
So the and I watched a couple of your videos, the shorter ones,
6:40
because there are some long, long, three hour videos about things like
6:45
the Duluth model, which I'm really glad that you have brought up because it
6:47
doesn't get brought up very much. So what was there a moment or an
6:55
event that sort of like made you look at this whole men's issues thing in
7:00
a new light, because I understand that you used to be a feminist or
7:03
you thought of yourself as one around the time of me too when it was
7:08
starting out, right, it was a little before that, But yes,
7:12
there definitely was a series of events that led me to start advocating for men.
7:17
The way that it started out, essentially was I was never taught feminist
7:21
ideals growing up. I wasn't raised in a household with a very liberal,
7:25
you know, set of parents or anything like that. But I got to
7:29
college and I took a gender studies class, and they taught at Delith Model
7:32
and I sat there and I, you know, so I had just transferred
7:38
to university. I had gotten to know all of these women who had shared
7:42
personal things with me, and they represented the patriarchy as being responsible for all,
7:48
you know, all problems and all all you know, DV things like
7:54
that. I met a lot of women who had had negative experiences with men.
7:57
I had also had negative experiences with men, And then here I had
8:00
this professor who was saying, it's the patriarchy astault they gave all of these
8:03
statistics. They gave us a lot to read. I read all of the
8:05
material and I thought, okay, well that explains it. I didn't really
8:09
think of it that way before, but I guess, you know, I
8:11
guess I should support other women. I guess that's to know my you know,
8:16
I've always loved, you know, supporting other people. I've always taken
8:20
on kind of that role. And at that time, being a woman,
8:24
I thought, okay, well, the best thing that I can do is
8:26
support other women. And the problem is that I ended up encountering women who
8:33
lied about their experiences. I made friends with the woman who told me that
8:35
she lied about being raped. I started to kind of see the cracks in
8:41
the foundation. And then the turning point for me was I made friends with
8:45
a man who I got into an argument with about male privilege. We talked
8:52
about our life experiences, and he shared things with me that had happened to
8:56
him that we're absolutely horrendous things that being male didn't protect him from. I
9:03
was really sold on this idea that being male protects you from harm. Being
9:07
male. You know, it's kind of like, you know, you're in
9:09
this bubble and you're impervious to everything, and it's and it's men who are
9:13
the problem for women and manager for the abusers. This man I made friends
9:16
with told me about his life experiences, and it opened up my eyes.
9:22
I realized that being a man didn't protect him from anything, and what he
9:26
went through was far worse than any trauma, any any negative thing I've gone
9:30
through in my life. So I sat there realizing that the whole thing was
9:33
a lie, and I started to do research. I started to look into
9:35
the Duluke model. I learned a lot, and then the Depth trial just
9:39
kind of blew everything wide open. Oh yeah, the Depth trial is a
9:41
big thing. It's a big moment. Absolutely. So. Without getting into
9:48
like specifics of this man's experience, because I don't want to, you know,
9:52
put his personal life on blast, but um, did you like feel,
10:00
let's say, when when a man would say, well, you know,
10:03
we have problems too, do you get this feeling of like or did
10:07
before in the past, Uh, that it was sort of laughable? You
10:11
know, Yeah, you got that too. I'm ashamed to admit that I
10:16
was really sort of trained and kind of like brainwash into thinking this whole thing
10:20
that like you know, um, that men should be dismissed, that men's
10:24
you know, men's experiences weren't as bad as women's experiences, and that men
10:28
didn't have it as hard as women do. I mean, when this guy
10:31
told me that being a straight white man in America was the scariest thing in
10:33
the world at that time, I laughed at him. Oh yeah, and
10:39
I and I feel so horrible thinking about that now because I can only imagine
10:41
how that must have felt. But um, but yeah, I was definitely
10:46
in this caud rate, in this you know, like academic environment essentially where
10:50
we were all being taught through you know, like through scholastic experiences. You
10:58
know, it's like, here's an article and is justified your desire to shame
11:01
men and to dismiss them, um, which I really think comes from personal
11:07
trauma. And I think that it's just this idea of like kind of getting
11:11
back at men, that you know, women should get back at men for
11:13
the harm that men have caused them. Um. When I started to realize
11:18
that men and women have a lot in comment in terms of victimhood, in
11:22
terms of life experiences, it actually helped me heal from some of the things
11:24
that men had done to me, oh, yeah's afraid of men. By
11:28
stopping being afraid of men and actually, you know, listening to them and
11:31
realizing that we had a lot in common, there was a lot to empathize
11:33
with their and the friendship there could be camaraderie and understanding. I felt that
11:37
that was sort of a better approach. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's
11:43
that's that's really uh, that's really true when you sort of like, I
11:48
don't know, like it's like you it's like forgiving. But I mean that
11:52
not that they are like needing. You know, they don't need forgiveness because
11:56
they weren't the person that that hurt you. But there is something to do
12:00
doing that because I think that otherwise you just continue to build resentment, resentment,
12:03
resentment, right, and then everything men do or women, if you
12:07
reverse it, or whatever group it is, you see them as winning somehow,
12:11
like they're getting something from you and you and you want to get back
12:15
at them. And I think that that is built up. And you know,
12:18
it's funny you said that you said that your parents weren't like especially like
12:20
liberal types, right, Like it's not like something that you got at home.
12:24
And I think that the truth is I think that in most cases,
12:28
it doesn't come from that. I mean, if you're if maybe if the
12:33
family dynamic is a little different, like say the father's not around, you
12:37
know, and there's a divorce and the moms like constantly like dogging on him,
12:41
maybe you'll, you'll some of that will rub off because that's sort of
12:43
like, you know, intentional. But I think that most normal people believe
12:48
in most of those basic premises that men are less deserving of sympathy, and
12:54
that they're they're suffering is not as important as women's. It doesn't matter what
12:58
you're where you sit on the political spectrum. I think that everyone does that.
13:03
I mean, I don't know if that's fair, But do you see
13:05
what I'm saying too? I mean, I see it in society all the
13:07
time. I see people engaging in that kind of rhetoric constantly. I see
13:11
missinjury everywhere. And the problem is that we constantly talk about misogyny, we
13:16
never talk about missinjury, and people don't even really know the word misery.
13:20
And so but when I got on Twitter, it was during the Depth trial,
13:24
and I wanted to start talking about missentury and I thought that it was
13:26
an important thing to do and I started using that word and a lot of
13:28
people didn't even you know, know the definition. I wanted to just kind
13:31
of put this message out there, you know, like today is a great
13:33
day to acknowledge that missentury and misogyny or equal harms and that no sexism has
13:37
any place in our society. Missengury doesn't solve the problem. I mean,
13:41
you hear these, you know, radical feminists saying that missengery doesn't exist.
13:46
Yeah, of course I take that as a challenge. Yeah, I don't
13:52
even really think that's radical for feminists. I think that's normal. I don't
13:56
I don't know. I find the word radical feminism kind of undant. I
14:00
mean, there's just feminism. But because like the thing is is what I
14:03
think, and you'd let me know what you think. But the I think
14:07
that the if you look at the word and this is not just the channel
14:11
of the tax feminism. But we try to talk about men's issues, but
14:13
we can't because the sort of like the construct of our society that our media,
14:20
our whole landscape, our academics, all of it's built on feminist theory.
14:22
So you have to, like you can't begin talking about men unless you
14:26
address that because that's sort of like the standard story. My belief is that
14:31
feminism only it only works under one like fundamental presupposition, which is that men
14:39
throughout all of history have built society to benefit themselves at the expense of women
14:45
and that and that's what feminism like. You can't have feminism without that assumption
14:50
first, and that immediately puts men in a position where there's less sympathy,
14:54
even if you're just talking about groups you know, or or generalizations which you
15:00
know, feminist like, especially about men. Um no jojo, no more,
15:03
go later. That's such a reductive way to present things because it's as
15:09
though, you know, how, how how do you build society only to
15:13
have one sex benefit from it? Or women not benefiting from the infrastructure,
15:18
you know, the the economic circumstances that you know, who do you call
15:22
when you know when there's a flyer? Who do you call when you know?
15:26
I mean, I'm sorry, but that you know, men have very
15:30
important roles in society. Masculinity is frequently attacked as being toxic, and there
15:33
should that. I don't think that that should be the case. Men should
15:35
be able to celebrate their masculinity and should be celebrated for their masculinity in a
15:39
healthy way. There's no reason to demonize men. But men are frequently demonized.
15:43
Men are frequently put down and you know, treated in this sort of
15:46
inhumane way. And I have a huge problem with that. And that's why
15:50
I speak out. That's why I care. And it's not going to put
15:54
me in the direction of, you know, say, being Charlotte Pravman someday.
15:58
But you know, I have, you know, met a lot of
16:00
attorneys who are very perceptive and you know, appreciative of my stance. And
16:04
so it's I'm I'm you know when you ask that question earlier, why would
16:08
you throw that all away? I'm aligning myself with people who have ideals that
16:11
I do. And thankfully it's been a great networking experience to be been and
16:17
honest about this. I've met people who care as much as I do.
16:19
Yeah, no, I can go speak up or men. Why shouldn't they?
16:22
You know they should? I think that Actually the so like you know,
16:26
I, like I told you before, I've been doing this for ten
16:29
years. It will be ten years like next month, so basically ten years.
16:33
And um, I noticed that they people listen when women speak up,
16:40
So you know, when men less. Seriously, when men speak up,
16:42
they're much easier to dismiss, you know, because of the Again, we've
16:47
constructed this idea that men run everything. That men can't you know, they
16:52
can't be hurt, that they don't have, you know, feelings that they
16:56
that they just they just have all the power. Therefore they're less deserving of
17:02
empathy. And this even applies to men who are you rich or powerful,
17:07
because I mean, they are human beings, right, They experience divorces,
17:10
they experience their children being taken from them, they have the same problems and
17:17
when oh even That's how I got involved with this. I was like,
17:21
um, I found a woman online that was talking about men's issues. And
17:25
I've seen men online talking about it, but I didn't even pay attention.
17:27
I'm a man too, right, So when I heard a woman do it,
17:30
I was like, Okay, there must be something to this then,
17:33
because why else would a woman she has no, like nothing to gain by
17:37
doing this. Right, That's why I do what I do. I care
17:41
about advocacy because I'm not trying to benefit from this. I'm you know,
17:45
I like speaking up for people who are not in my group. I care
17:49
about and it's it's it kind of makes me angry sometimes because I say things
17:52
that are so obvious that I feel like everybody should understand easily, that are
17:56
very simple, and so many men say it and it just falls on deaf
18:00
ears or they're mocked or they're ridiculed. When I say it. For some
18:02
reason, people pay attention and I and that's a very frustrating experience for me,
18:07
because I'm glad that people are listening, and I'm glad that people care
18:08
and that they're may be thinking about things differently and learning. But at the
18:12
same time, it's just like there are so many men who advocate poor men
18:15
and you just have completely ignored them up until this point. It's a frustrating
18:21
position to the end. Yeah, yeah, But like we were saying before,
18:26
you know, it's scary to do that because you think you're going to
18:29
be alone, right, You think that you're going to be the only person
18:32
with this view, or at least it's going to be very very rare.
18:33
But then you know, as you as you do this more and more,
18:37
you see more and more people coming out and saying, oh, I like
18:40
that. You're saying that, Like I used to keep this to myself when
18:44
I started doing this, and then I remember one day I was we went
18:48
on a trip for a for a conference in the United Kingdom in London,
18:53
and the you know, when you go through customs, they ask you questions
18:57
like what are you doing here, how long you're saying, etc. And
19:00
there was this old British woman and she asked me what I was coming there
19:03
for and I said, I'm here for a conference and she said what kind
19:07
of conference? And I said, well, it's the International Conference on Men's
19:10
Issues and she scoffed immediately and said what issues the men have? And I
19:14
was like, well, you'd be surprised. And I just left it at
19:17
that, but you know, it wasn't comfortable, but I felt like I
19:19
had to tell the truth because I was going through customs. But now,
19:22
you know, this is like five years later or so I bring it up
19:27
and more people are like, oh, yeah, I know a guy,
19:30
and then they'll tell me a story about, you know, a guy who
19:33
was you know, he experienced domestic violence, or a guy who was sexually
19:38
assaulted, or a guy who's you know, wife like lawyered up behind his
19:44
back and got his kids things like that, and so I think that that
19:48
even that word missentry is actually becoming more common part of our common parlance now,
19:53
and feminists can't ignore it anymore. Whereas before they would say there's no
19:56
such thing, now they have to address it because everyone's using it, you
20:00
know, well certainly. I mean. The thing is that you know,
20:03
I came out. I remember I tweeted a question I wanted to know from
20:08
men, what are we not talking about that we really need to talk about
20:11
just you know, men only responses, and the thread blew up, it
20:15
took off. I got so many answers and so much insight into personal experiences
20:19
for men, and I think that was this turning point. I started getting
20:22
so many messages in my DMS from men who were venting to me about their
20:26
divorces, about you know, trauma that they had gone through, is saying
20:30
thank you so much for speaking up for men, and I was kind of
20:33
not really sure how to respond because it's, you know, I really honor
20:37
and appreciate that kind of confidence, but it's heartbreaking just to see there are
20:41
a lot of men who are holding things in who you know, who are
20:45
going through things alone, and the fact is that we are all human,
20:48
We all suffer. It's obvious that men also have that experience. But the
20:52
problem is you have this sort of liberal you know, like Marxist framework that
20:56
you know, I'm more of a conservative than I used to be in college
21:00
is very much taught. You know, you have the hegemony, you have
21:02
these hedromonic categories, so you have people who are in the privilege categories,
21:06
and if they're in the privilege categories, that means that they don't struggle.
21:10
I understand feminism. Feminism is like so basically what feminism is predicated on that
21:17
I think is problematic is that, you know, it's the idea that men
21:19
are impervious to harm and women should also be impervious to harm, but men
21:22
are, you know, making that impossible for women. So it's predicated on
21:26
a why we should all be impervious to harm? I wish that we all
21:30
could be, but we can't. There's harm in this world. Placing blame
21:33
on men is not the way. It just does not make sense unless you're
21:37
trying to guilt them into giving you things, because I think that's what that
21:42
usually that the takeaway is because the people who are most responsive to feminists,
21:47
Oh, I'm sorry, can you not hear me. Okay, can you
21:49
hear me now? It's okay, yeah, yeah. No. The people
21:55
who are the most responsive to feminists complaining or um, well whatever they're asking
22:04
for is men, Like men are the quickest to give women what they're asking
22:08
for because they're kind of like, you know, we we've evolved that way.
22:11
So when feminists say men don't you know, men are sexists, Men
22:17
sexually assault women, men beat women, etc. It's men that respond and
22:22
say, well, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to protect
22:23
you, right, And so it's one of these things where they have to
22:30
they have to use the thing that they claim does not exist in men in
22:33
order to essentially exist themselves. So feminists have to claim that men don't care
22:37
about women. But then because men do care about women, they get the
22:41
benefit of that, right. And so when when they say what we need,
22:47
you know, whatever it is they're asking for, we donate to breast
22:51
cancer research, men come out in droves and donate breast cancer research. Makes
22:55
like many, many, many, many many magnitudes more then say, um,
23:02
prostate cancer for men, you know, so like they make they say,
23:06
they make it a whole month. Everybody wears pink. You know,
23:08
football players have a bandanna like it's a big deal. And yet the whole
23:14
time that's going on, feminists are still claiming that men don't care and and
23:18
and no one will say, well look at how you know billions allows we've
23:23
raised for this. So it is a racket in my opinion, and it's
23:29
not necessary to care about women like I care about women. I love my
23:32
wife. Um, that doesn't make me a feminist. It makes me.
23:36
I would call myself a woman's issues advocate if it, if that is a
23:41
better thing, just like I do for men. So mean, I absolutely
23:42
care about women, but I don't think that I don't think that. Yes
23:45
I do, and I actually always happen, I always will. I care
23:48
about people in general. I just the thing is that I don't see advocacy
23:52
for men, and I care to speak up for men because I think that
23:56
it matters. I don't see women doing that. That's why I do it.
23:59
It's just I feel a niche and see people are responsive to it.
24:03
I feel like I learn a lot about it, and I'm really kind of
24:06
just starting out in this journey. So yeah, I mean I've I've been
24:08
you know, it's funny to be invited on a podcast like this because I
24:11
haven't done really formal advocacy. I've tweeted things, I've made usual ideas.
24:15
It's not exactly I don't feel as though I am like a you know,
24:19
a fully fleshed out advocate. Yet I certainly want to do advocacy work.
24:23
But I care a lot about bringing attention to the issues and my audience and
24:29
the audience of you know, whoever's stream i'm invited on. You know,
24:30
I get invited on different streams for attorneys. These are issues that I can
24:34
talk about, and particularly in a case where uh we we I am.
24:41
I'm frequently a guest on a channel called Legal Visis. Yeah, I go
24:47
on panel and we'll watch trials together. And there was a trial that we
24:49
watched for a man who was accused of murder. There was no body.
24:52
He was in a contentious divorce and in a custody battle essentially not at order.
24:59
He was separated from his ex girl friend it she was the mother of
25:00
his children. Everything that he did was something that a protective father would do
25:03
to try and gain custody, and they twisted it and made it look as
25:07
though he had murdered her new boyfriend. There was no evidence that connected him
25:12
to any murder and there was no body and he was sent to prison for
25:17
life. And I see cases like this where I think men are frequently targeted
25:26
in this way where they're you know, they are doing things like trying to
25:29
you know, protect their children, and they end up being lambasted by the
25:34
system. It's the Duluth model. It's the problem with you know, the
25:37
way that the court frames things, the way that the court frames things for
25:41
men and women. Women are not sentenced as heavily as men are for similar
25:45
crimes. There are a lot of issues legally with generally and I see it,
25:49
and I see it more and more than more that I get into this.
25:52
I'm just you know, I'm just starting out, but I see it.
25:55
Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's that. And that's just like
25:59
you know, in black and white on paper, there's also biases in you
26:03
know, juries and judges and lawyers even it's you know again, it's it's
26:07
not something that you can mandate to change. It's just so you have to
26:11
like try to alter people's perspectives so that they don't because women do tend to
26:15
get more say favorable sentencing than men do for the same crimes. Things like
26:21
that, right, there was even there's stories and this happens a lot in
26:25
the UK for some reason of women who do they'll do horrible things and they'll
26:29
get very light sentences, you know. Um, So I mean, and
26:33
again it's I just think that if we we have to treat women, if
26:38
we're gonna claim that they're equal, we have to treat them that that way,
26:42
you know, under the law. I think it's the only just way
26:45
of going forward. And and I think that advocating for men is advocating for
26:49
women in it because we don't exist in a vacuum, right, I mean,
26:55
yeah, things that impact women impact men and vice versa. So it's
27:00
it's just that I think, you know, right now, there's a bit
27:03
of a gap between let's say, how much empathy we have for men and
27:08
how little respect we have for women. When I say that, I don't
27:14
I hope you understand. What I mean is is that we we are expected
27:18
or asked to hold women to much lower standards of behavior. Right, so
27:22
when they do act in a way that is self destructive or destructives other people,
27:26
we don't we don't want to call it out for what it is in
27:30
the same way we would a man. You know, for example, if
27:33
if a teacher um molests a male students, we call we don't even call
27:38
it molestation, we don't call it sexual assault. We call it an affair,
27:41
right, and it gets reported that way. And this is very happens,
27:45
very very very frequently, right as an affair with like a fourteen year
27:49
old child. Yeah, yeah, the genders switch the genders and you'd be
27:52
talking about how horrible that predator is, you know, well, they bury
27:56
them under the prison. It's absolutely disgusting. And that's a story that you
28:00
know, I have seen over and over again. It's not uncommon. It
28:04
happens pretty frequently, and it's heartbreaking. And I can't sit by and say
28:11
that that's acceptable. I think we need to talk about those things. And
28:15
the problem is that I've heard from a lot of men, you know,
28:18
who push back. A lot of men just say like, well, you
28:22
know, like like therapy doesn't work for men, and you know, you
28:26
know, men can advocate for themselves, and you know, like we don't
28:29
need to talk about this, Like I understand that perspective, but it's just
28:34
hard to take more yeah, I mean I think that men they the way
28:41
that men heal is different. So I think that the problem is is that
28:45
a lot of it's kind of like education, The way that we educate students
28:49
today is more centered around the way girls learn and not boys, because there's
28:55
an assumption that girls and boys are identical therefore, right, and so things
29:00
that I used to be when I was in school and I'm I'm going to
29:03
be fifty in like a couple months, so I've been around the block.
29:07
Let's say, when I was a kid, though, I read stories about
29:11
adventure, I you know, like Treasure Island and the time Machine and you
29:15
know, and all these exciting things that get boys interested. And then there
29:21
was a mix of things for girls too, and not that like all books
29:25
are gendered per se, but the sort of themes you know, they might
29:29
attract more boys than girls and vice versa. But today, first of all,
29:33
I don't think they read any literature because I did substitute teaching for about
29:37
a year just last year, and I was, you know, in these
29:42
classes and the kids are reading books I've never heard of, and they seem
29:45
to be like really modern and recent. So anyway, getting back to it,
29:51
I think that the way that boys and girls learn has changed to it
29:55
doesn't It tends to put boys in second place. And the way that we
30:00
the way that we do therapy has changed a lot too. For example,
30:03
the American Psychological Association, they have a whole guideline page on how to treat
30:08
men and it's all based in feminist theory about toxic masculinity. So it's it's
30:14
completely useless because it's basically saying men have to act more like women in order
30:18
for them to like, you know, and so a man's gonna see that
30:22
and he's gonna say, well, that's not gonna work for me, and
30:23
that's why they don't seek help in that way. So we have to like
30:27
be honest about the differences and maybe look at things like, um, you
30:33
know, there are as far as sort of like mental health things goes.
30:37
I think men need to belong to like groups where other men are congregating,
30:42
like men's clubs or activities. There's, um, there are male sheds in
30:48
Australia, for example, where men get together and they you know, they
30:52
tinker with things, they build things, they craft things. These are the
30:56
kinds of things that men like to do. They like to work with their
30:57
hands, just like boys like to learn with their hands. Right, So,
31:00
and that's not allowed in most places because they you know, we have
31:06
this model that we're all operating on her that's not good for men. Well,
31:10
there are a lot of women's initiatives. I mean, I know that,
31:11
like in law school, there are all of these groups where, you
31:14
know, like for women to succeeded m you know, in law school are
31:17
their men's groups. They are not. You know that you frequently heard the
31:21
future is female. You know, that's just that that refrain. I mean
31:26
I kind of take offense to that a little bit because you know, I
31:29
don't I don't really see why we have to play s emphasis on one gender
31:32
over the other. And then when you talk about therapy, I think that
31:33
you know, therapy can be you know, that model can be harmful for
31:37
women as well. And I recently, I recently, you know, tweeted
31:40
about my very negative experience with a female therapist I had who turned out to
31:44
be a feminist, and her model was basically to blame all of the men
31:49
in my life for my problems and to call them predators when that was not
31:53
the case. When I had had consensual interactions that were, you know,
31:56
very meaningful and very positive. Um, I had to leave that therapist and
32:00
I ended up tweeting about it. It got this whole huge response Elon must
32:04
reply to. It was a whole rooking who yeah it was. It went
32:07
really viral. It got oh god like six million views. I have it
32:10
pinned. And Elon Musk said this very interesting thing about how, you know,
32:15
therapy is kind of a racket, and you know, friends and family
32:20
should take place of therapy, and that we need to emphasize to our friends
32:22
and our family when we want them to just listen or when we want them
32:25
to help us solve their problems, that men like to solve problems, you
32:30
so, and so I responded to that, I, you know, with
32:32
my very strong belief that you know that men I feel like, not like
32:38
a little more male brain, but you know, I like to solve problems
32:40
too, And it's and I've had to learn how to listen. I you
32:44
know, a lot of people come to me for advice, a lot of
32:46
people lean on me for support, and so I really liked what Elan had
32:52
to say. And I just you know, I think I personally think that
32:54
if women could be more empathetic and understand that when men try to solve their
32:58
problems, they're just trying to be helped instead of getting angry or instead of
33:00
getting frustrated. I just I don't know. I think that there's a lot
33:05
in interpersonal relationships between men and women that could be improved upon if we stopped
33:10
using this you know, ridiculous feminist construct that men are the problem, because
33:15
men are not the problem. Domestic violence statistics show that women are actually slightly
33:19
more violent and more harmful in their relationships with men, that men suffer pretty
33:22
much equally to women, but people don't care about that. People don't know
33:25
that those are not the statistics that are represented. And it's a huge problem
33:29
because the Duluth model puts every blame on the patriarchy, And what the hell
33:34
is the patriarchy? Can you My therapist, you know, told me,
33:37
she was like, it's the patriarchy's fault that this is happening in your life.
33:38
It was like women who were creating my problem. And I was like,
33:42
can you explain? Is it in the room with us right now?
33:45
Like does it have a shape? Does it have but like what does it
33:51
look like? I mean, what. I hear this thing about the patriarchal
33:53
the patriarchy all the time. Can you tell me what it is? Can
33:58
you show me what it is? Yeah? I don't. I'm sorry,
34:00
but there's you know, if there's patriarchy, there's patriarchy as well. Hmm,
34:05
yeah, well, I mean I think that patriarchy there's without going too
34:10
much into it, I think there are two definitions. That the feminist definition,
34:14
which is the political definition that they're that you're being told about, and
34:17
then there's the actual definition, which is something as simple as a line can
34:22
be traced back through the name of the father in a household. So when
34:27
a man marries a woman she takes his name. That's patriarchy. That's all
34:30
it is. But it doesn't it doesn't mean anything else really other than it's
34:35
sort of like I think it's done for men as a way of you know,
34:39
like the women get children out of it. The man's legacy gets to
34:43
go on, and he gets his name to go on, and that's it.
34:45
It's sort of honorific, you know. But I don't I don't find
34:50
that's harmful. I mean, people hyphenate their names now anyways, if they
34:52
really want to UM, so I don't. I don't really sweat that,
34:57
but I wanted to ask you have so since doing this, have you gotten
35:01
any pushback or had fights, lost friends anything like that. Oh? Definitely.
35:08
Yeah, I've gotten a lot of very very interesting pushback. I remembered
35:13
well, during the Depth trial, I started tweeting and my account got popular
35:16
and there, I mean, the first pushback that I really got was I
35:20
tweeted something out about how, you know, men are important in society.
35:24
I said something like, you know, men do a lot of really hard
35:29
jobs. Men, you know, take on a lot of the burdens and
35:31
they deserve more credit. And it got ratio to hell. I got like
35:36
five thousand retweets. People were mocking me. It was ridiculous, and that
35:39
was but it was. It was kind of great because it got a lot
35:44
of exposure for what I was saying. But yeah, no, I've definitely
35:47
gotten a lot of pushback because I used to be very liberal and all my
35:52
friends were very liberal. Like I grew up in Los Angeles, I still
35:53
live in Los Angeles. Everybody in my life's very very liberal. Even just
35:58
the tweet that I put out there about my therapist. I had this girl
36:00
who I've met one time, and she comes back at me with, you
36:04
know, you're a misogynist because you're representing that, you know, a male
36:07
therapist is better than a female therapist. And it was this whole thing.
36:13
I've gotten a lot of people, you know, asking me, well,
36:15
you know, prove that there's a you know, systemic missinjury instead of systemic
36:19
misogyny. So I went and I found a lot of articles that prove exactly
36:22
that. I actually am going to do a video on this. But there
36:24
is systemic misery. Absolutely, They're absolutely and it starts. I mean,
36:29
even if you just look at genocide, men are killed first in every genocide.
36:34
I have studies from Rwanda, I have studies from darkfour. I have
36:37
so many articles that I'm so looking forward to making a video about. There
36:39
is so much systemic missengry that we do not talk about, and it is
36:44
global. And then absolutely do suffer systemically, both in the sense of you
36:49
know, just you know andrecide, most of the people who die, most
36:53
people who are murdered are men. People don't really care about that. People
36:57
didn't really talk about that. But yeah, I've gotten a lot of pushback
37:00
and with every everything you know, every way that somebody pushes back, I
37:04
find a way to either learn something or to educate myself or educate that person.
37:10
Yeah. Absolutely, I'm looking forward to that video on genocides. Um.
37:16
I've never thought I would say that. I know what you mean.
37:21
Yeah, it's very it's very dark, but it's important to talk about.
37:23
And there's a lot of other stuff there that you know, systemically, you
37:25
know, the way that boys suffer. You know, there's a lot of
37:29
stuff. Oh, absolutely, murder sharing, Yeah, absolutely, there was.
37:32
I don't know if you've looked into this, but there was a story
37:36
about um that was going around. I think it was when Obama was president
37:40
in the US and there were these girls that were kidnapped by the by Isis
37:45
i think or some other Yeah, bo boco haram it. That's right,
37:52
And there was this huge campaign hashtag bring back our Girls was everywhere, right
37:57
and all that, and the reality of that is is that there were boys
38:00
and girls at this place where Bookahram came and all of the boys were killed,
38:06
they were set on fire, they were just like you know, incinerated,
38:09
and the girls they were kidnapped or taken. And what happened is Bookhm
38:15
basically told them that they have to, you know, like um end their
38:19
education and swear allegiance to Allah, and then they let them. They were
38:22
going to let them go then, but the boys were just murdered. They
38:25
were just killed all together, and the games were completely ignored. Yeah,
38:30
and there was no reporting on it whatsoever. And if you if you look
38:34
at any disaster, any like catastrophe that befalls anywhere in the world, and
38:39
there's like a number of deaths, they will always report it as this many
38:45
deaths, including this many women and this many children, and they won't mention
38:49
the men at all. And and that's every time. And you once you,
38:52
once you see it, you can't unsee it. It's every time.
38:54
And I think it's because we have just become numb to male death. Now,
38:59
in a way, you could argue that that one could argue that that's
39:04
almost like an evolutionary necessity because when it comes down to it, when suffering
39:08
has to happen, men are more likely to be the take the brunt,
39:13
Like if we get invaded or if there's you know, some event that required
39:16
like a war, men are probably going to be the ones to die because
39:21
we're gonna need them to do that. If this goes all the way back
39:23
to when we were hunter gatherers, right, the men would go out to
39:25
hunt for food and not all of them came back and we just got like
39:30
used to it, like that's necessary. But at least at least despite that,
39:36
we knew where our bread was buttered. We honored that, and today
39:39
I don't think we do that at all, like for example, in the
39:42
Ukraine. So one of the things that I have talked about on the show,
39:45
we talked we go back and forth on the draft. So Mark Angelucci,
39:50
that lawyer I was telling you about, he was trying to get the
39:52
draft removed completely. And his approach to it was to say, well,
39:57
if we're since men cannot vote as they are are signed up for selective service,
40:02
then we either have to sign women up for selective service too, which
40:07
means that they become eligible should a draft happen, or we remove selected service
40:10
for both men and women. Now, what he was hoping for was the
40:14
latter, but he was killed before that got settled, which raises some question
40:20
marks for me. But anyway, but the thing that is interesting about that
40:25
is that when I bring it up, a lot of people come to me
40:28
and they say, well, we haven't had a draft since Vietnam and that
40:30
therefore, like it's not going to happen, right, it's nothing to worry
40:32
about. But in Ukraine, because you know, this isn't just the United
40:37
States, I'm talking about the world here in the Ukraine, when Russia invaded,
40:42
they you know, Zelenski basically said, men between this age and this
40:45
age cannot leave. You have to fight. So he drafted the men,
40:50
and he even drafted the trans women. So like, you know, like
40:52
it's so all of this stuff about like, oh, you think you're a
40:58
trans woman or whatever, that's out the wind though, because you need to
41:00
fight now. So we're not. We're not playing your games. And that's
41:02
just the reality. So like when you are faced with that, I think
41:07
that, um, we we we can't afford to look away, really and
41:10
I think that we should look at it for what it is. So you
41:14
know, that's that's what I was going to say with regards to your thing
41:16
about genocides, right, Well, I mean I actually remember listening to I
41:22
think it might have been The Daily. They did an interview with a young
41:24
man who was eighteen years old who had been drafted um, and he was
41:28
actually I think from another country, and he was gay, and he was
41:30
very effeminate, and he was just like, I just I don't want to
41:32
fight in this war. I don't see why this is fair. And there
41:35
were a lot there was a lot of commentary from people that I ended up
41:37
like looking into this interview and people were saying, well, no, but
41:40
he's a man, and he lives there, and so he just he should
41:43
just man up and fight, uh, you know there. And I don't
41:45
think that women really appreciate the gravity of what that experience must be like.
41:52
And the problem is that men have gone off to war four centuries, you
41:59
know, without any complaint and and and have done so to protect women,
42:06
to protect children, you know, to protect you know, people who cannot
42:08
fight. And the idea of that coming from women, that kind of commentary
42:13
I found really problematic because imagine that you are faced with that, Imagine that
42:16
you are suddenly being faced with being killed for cause, being killed for your
42:22
country. You know how women never have to deal with that, and the
42:25
gravity of it is immense, So you just expect men to take that on.
42:30
I mean, this young man, you know, complaining or not doing
42:34
an interview or not. He ended up having to be drafted, and he
42:37
ended up having to face those consequences. I don't know if he's alive or
42:39
dead. He could very well have died in this conflict. We have no
42:44
but that's no small thing to deprive your parents of their child to, you
42:49
know, when you're responsible for other people. You know, it's just not
42:53
something that I just get. Like, women don't have a lot of empathy
42:57
towards what men go through. Women don't really think about being experience of being
43:00
a man, and it's not really like men share that. So you know,
43:04
you just kind of make something up in your head and you know,
43:06
if it fits your narrative, if it's your worldview. It's just not like
43:08
that. Yeah, you don't know everything. You don't you don't know what
43:12
it's like to be a man. Don't assume m hmmm. Yeah, well
43:17
it might be something that women have. Like again, you know, I
43:21
can I can go with the kind of evolutionary argument that maybe to some degree
43:25
women have to be desensitized to male sacrifice because it's going to happen. But
43:31
um, but I I agree that there should be some you know, there
43:36
should at least be some recognition and the thing is too as a result of
43:38
this. I know this is my surprise people, but men generally don't vote
43:43
in favor of war because they don't want to. They don't want to get
43:46
sent off to war. But also they don't want their sons, you know,
43:50
to have to fight in something. And they tend to hate especially pointless
43:54
wars, you know, like the last couple we've been involved with, um,
43:59
because they know that it's going to cost lives on both sides, and
44:01
most of those lives are going to be men's lives. So um. So
44:07
okay, So next question we're doing. We're on good time here and nobody
44:10
sent a super chat yet, so please send us something. JoJo's laying by
44:15
the door. I don't know why he's he's he's in the room with me,
44:17
but he's not on his bed. Um okay, But anyway, what
44:23
are in your view from what you know so far, what do you think
44:27
are some of the most important men's issues that are that you know we're dealing
44:31
with today and if they impact women, which they do, you can mention
44:36
that as well. That's a very good question, um, I would say,
44:40
just from what I've done to sort of survey men and asked men what
44:44
they think of the most important issues are the things that come up really frequently
44:49
have to do with parental alienation, yes, in the court system and just
44:53
generally, you know, like parents' rights, as well as false allegations.
45:00
M hmmm, I think that those are those are two of the most what
45:02
do you akin and most important? What do you think about the argument that
45:06
false allegations are very very rare. If feminists often say like two or five
45:09
percent of allegations are actually false, I think that even one false allegation is
45:15
egregious. That's true. And the fact of the matter is you cannot possibly
45:20
know how many false allegations there are, right because if if a false allegation
45:24
results in a conviction, then they wouldn't count it as a false allegation.
45:29
And the Innocence Project, and if you're aware of the Innocence Project, I
45:32
am very aware of the innoc Project. I love Barry Shack and I actually
45:36
I do a weekly show where we do the O. J. Simpson trial,
45:38
Yeah, on Legal Vices, and Barry Shack is a co founder of
45:43
the Innocence Project. Ah, so you know, so they've exonerated lots of
45:45
guys that have been falsely accused. So yeah, so we do know what
45:50
happens a convicted falsely convicted, that's right, and had to spend time in
45:53
jail. I mean, I actually think that false convictions are another huge problem
45:58
as far as men's issues go. It's mostly men who who you know,
46:01
who are sent to prison. There is a much higher incidence of men in
46:06
the prison population um, and a lot and and one in twenty of those
46:09
people is falsely convicted. Yeah, and it well, at least I could
46:15
be higher, because it's hard to know. That's the statistic. I'm as
46:21
as far as we know right now. It's as far as we know right
46:22
now. Um. Going back to the false allegation thing, I just wanted
46:27
to bring something up. I remember, you know, there's this whole thing.
46:30
So you say, like you're asking me about this argument that feminists have
46:34
that you know, false allegations are very rare. There is a very specific
46:37
infographic and it has UM and it's something that I've seen go around very frequently,
46:42
and it's about it has like a little person to represent um a certain
46:46
number of incidences of sexual assaults and then at the very bottom they have represented
46:54
um with with you know, the two men and like the darkest color.
46:58
Um, it's just two figure And a lot of feminists use that as they
47:02
say like, oh, look at all of these people who who experience sexual
47:05
assault, and only this many are actually false allegations. But the thing is
47:10
that they crop that out and there are actually many more on the bottom.
47:15
And I've seen the real infographic, but everybody shares the one where it's cropped,
47:19
and so a false representation of the actual numbers and statistics. I saw
47:23
that, and I just thought that is so perfect, Like that just so
47:27
represents this narrative that people want to tell. Anybody who experiences a false allegation
47:32
their life is ruined and they are all of a sudden in this position where
47:36
they have to defend themselves against people who are convinced that they did a horrible
47:38
thing that they did not do yeah, for absolutely no reason. And I
47:43
think that false allegations are extremely problematic and the fact that you can just dismiss
47:46
them because oh, it's not that many. It's still a problem. Sexual
47:50
assaults is certainly a problem. Sexual asault happens to men and women, but
47:53
false allegations do ruin lives and anybody who makes a false allegation I think should
47:59
face criminals, artists. And also they often leave out so when they list
48:02
like, you know how many times women are assaulted, they don't talk about
48:07
who the assaulter is and it's you. We're supposed to assume it's always men.
48:12
But the most violent relationships, like in terms of the domestic violence things,
48:16
are lesbian relationships. So that means that that the sexual assault is really
48:21
high in that in that population as well. So they leave that out because
48:25
they're just trying to make all of it applied to men, like as the
48:29
general blame. So when they say so, yeah, where's the patriarchy.
48:34
Yes, So when they say sexual assault, you're you're you're supposed to with
48:37
your you know, in your mind immediately go to a man assaulting a woman.
48:42
There was this great documentary I don't know if you've seen it, directed
48:45
by Cassie j It's called The Red Pill, where, oh, yeah,
48:50
you know about it. I know about it. I've heard of it,
48:52
I just haven't. You can watch it for free on YouTube, so you
48:53
can just search it. It's yeah, you can watch for free because it's
48:57
been out for years now, since twenty seventeen and she does an interview with
49:02
the editor in chief of MS magazine, which is a feminist magazine from the
49:08
sixties. I think Glorious Dynham was like one of the founders if I remember
49:13
correctly, but I might be wrong. It doesn't matter. It's a feminist
49:15
magazine. And they were asked they were talking about domestic violence, and the
49:21
editors said that domestic violence is a PC term and that we should just call
49:27
it what it is, which is wife beating. So there they set.
49:30
They frame it from the start as wife beating, which means men beating their
49:36
wives. I mean that she basically said that it doesn't happen any other way.
49:39
It doesn't happen in the end of the direction. Meanwhile, there are
49:43
stories of women. John Wayne Bobbitt comes to mind, I think. And
49:47
there was another story that's more recent of a woman that cut off her man's
49:53
her husband's penis and threw it in a garbage disposal and copse today not that
50:00
case. A different case, Oh yeah, a girl who killed her boyfriend,
50:02
dismembered him and put his head in his penis in a bucket for his
50:06
mother to find. The Taylor trial. I actually came here just from covering
50:10
that trials and you have the girl who you have Sarah buns at her boyfriend
50:15
into a suitcase. Huge domestic violence that I mean that I've been covering.
50:20
There are a lot of cases, I mean being interested in the legal world
50:22
of being interested in trials Courtney Clenny who killed her boyfriend. There are lots
50:25
of women who killed their boyfriends, record their husbands, and they are high
50:29
profile cases, and I'm very interested in those cases because I think women should
50:31
be called out were the harms that they do, and I don't think that
50:35
that should be ignored. As you know, just an alt war, women
50:37
are frequently harmful. It's not as common for women to kill, you know,
50:42
their male partners because of the size difference, but it does happen,
50:45
and it should be paid attention to because there's dB history leading up to those
50:49
depths. Absolutely, and it's actually a lot of times there's intergenerational violence,
50:54
you know, like where the violent parties were themselves abused as children, and
51:01
their parents may evolve to themselves been abused as children. It goes back.
51:06
There was a woman named Aaron Pittsy who opened the very first women's shelter in
51:10
the UK, and she is also a friend of ours, and she was
51:15
originally a feminist that was just making a shelter for women because she thought,
51:19
oh, they're battered by their husbands, etc. And then she would bring
51:22
them and sometimes it would be them with their children, with their young,
51:27
you know, babies, And she learned from doing this that these women were
51:30
themselves also very violent, as in most domestic violence cases both parties are violent
51:36
usually, but also that they had themselves been victims of violence as children from
51:40
their mothers in a lot of cases, and so they were also violent towards
51:45
their children. It's sort of like a cycle, right, and it has
51:49
to be broken. So this is another thing they don't bring up because it's
51:53
not simple. It's to the narrative. And there are no men's shelters that
51:59
really did. I think they're like three men shelters in the US that really
52:00
exists. I know one that's it. I know of one, but yeah,
52:05
maybe I think three is like the high estimate. I haven't actually checked,
52:09
but it's a it's a huge problem. I mean, when where do
52:13
men go when they are being abuse used by female partners? Who do they
52:16
turn to? Who do they talk to. They don't have support systems in
52:20
place. They are not resources set up for men. Men are basically put
52:23
in this position where you know, if your wife or your girlfriend is abusive
52:27
to you, then you know, good luck. You know you're not a
52:31
real man, or you know they're they're allowed really like negative and unpleasant,
52:35
you know, retorts to that. Men experienced abuse and it should be acknowledged,
52:39
and men should be supported, and men should have resources just like women
52:43
do. We need to stop gendering about abuse has no gender. Men and
52:47
women are both abusers, and men and women are both abuse. We need
52:51
to start looking at it in terms of sociological factors, attachment styles. There
52:54
are so many other ways that we can look at this. And I think
52:58
that when you create a gender construct for it, it ends up harming a
53:04
lot of people. And I mean, in one of those trials that I'm
53:07
about to cover that just got postponed, there was a dd history between these
53:10
two people and the police couldn't figure out who the primary aggressor was in an
53:15
instance where she had choked him, and one in ten people who experienced being
53:21
choked by their partner will end up being murdered by that partner. He ended
53:22
up a statistic and the police could have intervened by arresting her and charging her
53:28
with attempted murder. He didn't do that. They released both of them and
53:31
then it led to his death. You know, he ended up suffocating for
53:36
over twelve hours because this woman was so cool. How choke him? She
53:40
There was an incident where they had been going up the stairs, was in
53:44
July twenty nineteen, and he was trying to flee to get away from her
53:51
anger and aggression. She reached up behind him, grabbed his throat and started
53:54
strangling him to the point where he couldn't breathe, and he had to kick
53:59
her at her to stop. He ended up like kicking her in the face,
54:02
basically and so and so because she had an injury. The police couldn't
54:07
figure it out. But she lied and she couldn't come up. There were
54:09
certain inconsistencies in her story. Yeah, it's you know, and it's a
54:14
problem because the thing is they they both had DV charges. He ended up
54:16
taking classes. I'm not sure he could have been abusive to her, but
54:21
they were very abusive to each other, and he was the one who ended
54:22
up dead. So there was a clear power differential. He was also a
54:25
sort of a small man. I was gonna say this, So she just
54:29
kind of overpowered him, Like, I mean, that's not calm. Usually
54:31
women when they want to do stuff like that, they drug a man,
54:36
you know, they weaken him, they do it while he's asleep, or
54:39
they'll hire someone to do it for them, like to like get a hit
54:44
man or or a boyfriend, you know, maybe they're cheating with somebody,
54:46
and because other men are more than happy to take out men if they think
54:52
that just you know, that woman, that that man's an obstacle, or
54:55
they'll even use police, you know, they'll call the cops and say this
55:00
man is making me feel unsafe, and the cops might system. Yeah,
55:02
they'll abuse the system. So these things are are again things that feminists don't
55:07
want to talk about, but they totally are real. I guess that women
55:10
can weaponize the patriarchy against other men and when they call the cops, and
55:15
that's patriarchy somehow, I don't know. So you know, if there is,
55:20
If there is patriarchy, I don't assign any kind of negative stigma to
55:23
it. I think that it's a little ridiculous that people place blame on the
55:27
patriarchy and call everything mistogyny all the time. Finding out that women do harmful
55:30
things is not misogyny. Saying that Amber Heard is a liar is not misogyny.
55:35
That's a court certified fact. Yeah. No, absolutely, so that
55:38
the Johnny Depp thing right, and now that it's the dust is settled and
55:42
everything is done. Um, do you does it surprise you that there are
55:46
still people that think Johnny Depp is guilty and deserves every like everything that happened
55:51
to him. No, because there are a lot of people who didn't watch
55:53
the trial. Yeah. The funny thing is that the way that I kind
55:58
of got into YouTube and Twitter and thing, this whole social media situation,
56:00
which I never expected or wanted to find like it wasn't something I was speaking,
56:05
was through the trial and I connect with all of these people who they've
56:08
watched like every minute of the trial. We all did. If you don't
56:12
watch the trial, if you don't watch her testimony, you're missing out on
56:15
a lot of key facts. I mean. I even had a conversation with
56:17
my cousin recently, we talked about the deppcase, and she was like,
56:20
oh, I just well, I think they're just both horrible people. And
56:22
I think they probably abused to each other. That's the common with it.
56:24
They probably abused each other. It's like, well, is it so unrealistic
56:29
to think that maybe a woman could abuse a man and maybe he wasn't abusive
56:31
to her. I watched everything. I watched every single element of testimony.
56:36
I read all the transcripts. I looked at these side. I mean,
56:39
I did a lot of research into that case. It does not surprise me
56:44
because I think that, like you said, people love to fit a narrative.
56:46
But overall, I look at that case, I look at Johnny Depp,
56:50
I see a man who was absolutely abused by Amber Heard. I do
56:53
not believe he was abusive to her. I don't see elements or evidence of
56:58
abuse. I think she lied about us, and I think that wouldn't do
57:01
that. And the fact that it was, I mean, I thought it
57:05
was really beautifully proven by his legal team. And then you have people calling
57:07
calling his female lawyer, you know, a Pickne girl lawyer. She I'm
57:13
sorry she She eventually won that case. They did an incredible job. I
57:15
got to meet the lawyer, a man who needed advocacy. You got wait,
57:19
you got. I'm sorry. Yeah, I got to meet them because
57:22
the trial was in Virginia and I'm in Virginia, right, So on the
57:24
last day when they were um, I want to say it was like post
57:29
verdict. That was another meeting. I went there and I got to shake
57:31
hands with both the man and the woman camera their names. Now, the
57:35
woman's amazing, she's amazing. Butmi Camil, Yes, yes, yes,
57:40
I'm very happy he is. She's definitely who I want to model myself after.
57:46
Yeah. Yeah, I'm trying to get them to come on. It's
57:50
guess, but I know that they're really busy, but I think it'd be
57:52
great to talk to about the trial. So, um, all right,
57:54
So we've been going for about an hour, so I we're gonna head into
57:58
the Patron Show. So if if you just stick around, but I do
58:00
have a super chat that I should read out. So Derek Workman gives us
58:05
ten dollars and says, I'm going to read it exactly as it is written,
58:07
and then I'm going to try and figure out what it actually is supposed
58:10
to say. So he says, now, Brian is the patril linear patriarchy,
58:14
is the father figure is in charge not for the benefit of men.
58:19
Okay, I think what you're trying to say is simply tracing back the line.
58:22
Like my net last name is Martinez because my father's last name is Martinez,
58:27
because his father's name is Martinez. That is I guess you could say
58:31
that technically is patril lineer. But patriarchy is part that's part of it.
58:36
But also that men or the father is the head of the household, but
58:42
that means not simply that he just has power over the rest of the family,
58:45
but that he is responsible for the rest of the family, so that
58:50
that puts him in a position of responsibility and accountability at the top. That
58:54
if you wanted to go that way, which is pretty trad but that's okay
58:58
because they worked for people. My wife wants that for me. She wants
59:01
me to be in charge, so you know, I do that. And
59:05
I don't think that there is Another thing that feminism sets up is that it
59:08
tells men that they have to be responsible for women, but it but that
59:14
they are not allowed to have authority over women. So and I don't think
59:17
you can be responsible for something if you don't have authority over it, right,
59:21
So does that make sense? Like it does make sense. Yeah,
59:24
I think there's just there's just a construct in feminism in general that no matter
59:28
what men do, you, if they're protective, if they're responsible, if
59:30
they take take care of things, they will always be oppressing women somehow.
59:34
Yes, just by virtue of having a penis and existent. Yeah, that's
59:38
right, which not even having a penis. I mean, you can't win.
59:44
You just can't win. It's a lose lose game. It's you know,
59:46
it's you're just you're set up to fail. Yeah, and so therefore
59:50
you probably shouldn't play. Um, well, anyway, Chandler, any final
59:53
thoughts before for the audience, Um, like stuff, your your projects you
59:58
got coming up? Are you excited for what? You know? This path
1:00:01
that you're walking on holds potentially, I mean, you're gonna make enemies,
1:00:06
but I think that it's good that more people are doing this, so absolutely.
1:00:10
I mean, look, I'm I'm very grateful that I have somehow gained
1:00:15
a social media presence. It was never my goal. It was never something
1:00:19
that I really you sought to attain. People tend to like the way that
1:00:23
I articulate things, and I appreciate the opportunity to be able to do that
1:00:27
because I feel that I see things that are really obvious that need to be
1:00:30
pointed out that we need to talk about in society just in general. I
1:00:34
you know, overall, I think that it's very important that we pay attention
1:00:37
to missengury and really start talking about miss injury, and that must stop pretending
1:00:42
like it doesn't exist. Because we are all human, we all hurt,
1:00:45
we all, you know, we all have the opportunity to learn from each
1:00:47
other and to empathize with each other. And when I realized that listening to
1:00:53
men with something that I could do, I learned a lot from men,
1:00:57
and I think that there's that opportunity there. So I just think overall,
1:01:00
we'll just need to be better listeners. Yeah, that that would create a
1:01:01
lot of a lot of opportunities in society for us to maybe move forward from
1:01:07
some of these constructs that are you know, absurdly dated, like the Jaluth
1:01:10
model. Yes, there's certainly a let's say, a blind spot is what
1:01:15
how we usually describe it of male, the male perspective and the you know,
1:01:22
men's issues more broadly, even when women are trying to draw attention to
1:01:27
it. But I do think that more women speaking up is probably the best
1:01:31
way to excuse me to rectify that. So thank you so much for being
1:01:37
an advocate and talking about this. Um, I think that this is a
1:01:42
white pilling in my opinion. So I think we're you know, more and
1:01:44
more people are are becoming involved and it's harder and harder to ignore. So
1:01:49
thank you so much Chandler for coming on the show. Thank you, Brian,
1:01:52
I really appreciating karts a pleasure cool. I'm glad I also enjoyed myself.
1:01:57
So to the rest of you guys, UM, if you are still
1:02:00
around, I mean, if you're one of our patrons, you can join
1:02:02
us in the app. Shure, We're going to talk a little bit more
1:02:06
about whatever else. I mean, I got other things bouncing around in my
1:02:08
head that I could bring up. Or maybe you have questions and I'll look
1:02:12
at the live chat and ask directly about those. So to do that,
1:02:15
go to feedbadger dot com and set up a monthly subscription five bucks a month.
1:02:20
We'll get you into our discord and you'll be able to enjoy all of
1:02:22
the additional content. And we have a lot of additional content. But with
1:02:27
all that said, if you guys like this video. Please hit like subscribe
1:02:30
if you're not already subscribe, hit the bellph notifications, leave us a comment,
1:02:32
let us know where you guys think about what we discussed on today's fireside
1:02:36
chat. Links to all of Chandler's stuff, well, both of the things
1:02:40
are in the description, but you keep an eye because I feel like we're
1:02:45
going to see more of her in the future. Thank you guys so much
1:02:47
for coming on today's show. Please share this video because sharing is caring,
1:02:52
and we'll talk to you all in the next video.