Latest / Grounded Growth / Goodness in the Unseen Moments
Transcript
- Stephanie Petry: Hi, welcome to. Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: ⁓ And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Nicole Ghirardi: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Welcome back to the Grand Growth Podcast. I am Stephanie Petrie. I'm Nicole Gerardi. And we are continuing our fruit that last series on the fruit of the spirit. And today's episode is about goodness and the unseen moments. So goodness is not about appearing good. it is about allowing God to transform who we are when no one is watching. And I have to be honest, with the fruit of the spirit, I always get like goodness and gentleness. I never quite know like. How to explain it. So it was nice to be able to take some time and study it a little bit more. So hopefully by the end of the episode, you and I will both know how to say this. Our culture often tells us that people are basically good, but scripture gives us a totally different diagnosis. Apart from Christ, our hearts are affected by sin and we need redemption. It even tells us that we're dead in our sin. And so social media can distort our understanding of goodness. By constantly giving us an audience. And we can become more concerned about how our lives look than with how faithfully we are living them. It's like a highlight reel, is what I call it. God calls us to a goodness that is rooted in Him and expressed through ordinary obedience, generosity, integrity, and love. Sometimes we need to step away from the noise long enough to recognize God's goodness and remember the faithfulness that He has already shown us. And goodness is one of those fruits we assume we already have, because most of us are decent enough people in public. But the real test of goodness is not the moment everyone is watching. It is the small unseen moment that no one would ever know about. So let's start there with what does goodness in the unseen moments actually mean, Seth? So goodness begins with understanding that God, not us, is the standard of what is good. So God is the standard. We live in a culture that often says, just be a good person, as though goodness is something naturally sitting inside every one of us. But the gospel gives us a much more honest picture of humanity. We are created in God's image, but we are also broken by sin. the reformation reminds us that our deepest problem isn't simply that we occasionally make bad choices. Sin has affected our hearts. It's called sinful nature. and that means that I don't need more self-confidence in my own goodness. I need Christ to transform me from the inside out. I need Christ's confidence. so another one is goodness is the fruit of life surrendered to God. Galatians 5.22 doesn't describe goodness as something I manufacture through willpower. It is a fruit produced by the Holy Spirit. The question isn't simply, Am I doing good things? But is the Spirit changing the kind of person that I'm becoming? My actions matter, but God is interested in the heart. Underneath those actions, your motives behind it. Goodness is choosing what is right even when there is no audience. this is that integrity piece. It is honesty when a lie would be easier. It is integrity when cutting a corner at the same time. Kindness when nobody will know that I was kind. It is obedience when there is no applause to it attached to it. Social media can make goodness about appearance instead of reality. and so we have unprecedented opportunities to share our lives, testify to God's goodness, encourage people and connect with others. These are good things that can come out of social media, but we can also become addicted to the audience and often go back to see how many likes or hearts we get, or what are the comments people are leaving behind. I have to ask myself, am I cultivating a good life or am I cultivating the appearance of a good life? And sometimes the most spiritually healthy thing we can do is to step away from the screen and pay attention to the embodied life God has actually given us. And so when you're feeling like you are constantly going to your phone or social media for validation, or you are maybe even getting under that like comparison trap. Then it might be time for you to take social media off your phone for a bit, take a little pause. What what did you say? I know. Summertime's so hard. It might be a good time to and I did do my timers different. So that I'm only on social media ten minutes a day. You know, I wanna bring up social media for a second because you brought up a good point that if you ever notice on social media, what everyone gets their reactions are are from people's opinions. Or, you know, what your what your perfect day was with the kids or your perfect, you know, first day of school or whatever the case may be. But the posts that don't get liked and get seen often are all of our Christian posts and our verses. And I've really have noticed that. And that that's so unfortunate. I know. I know. It's not hard heart. It does. It makes but it shows priorities of what the worldly view is versus what we should be doing. Yeah. And that question about what is real versus what simply looks good becomes even more important when we start looking at the ways that we can quietly compromise. Because goodness usually doesn't disappear through one giant decision. More often we trade it away in tiny moments that seem insignificant. so why is goodness so hard to live out? goodness is hard because so much of it happens when no one can see it. in public, we are on our best behavior, but real goodness is tested in those hidden moments when no one could would ever find out. we care more about looking good than being good. And it is easy to manage our reputation and much harder to tend the quiet condition of our hearts. And so the little compromises feel harmless in the beginning. a small exaggeration, a corner cut, like Steph said, a rule bent when no one is watching and we tell ourselves it does not really count. goodness is also not something we can white knuckle into being. so James K.A. Smith writes in You Are What You Love, that we are shaped less by what we think and more by what we love. And our loves are formed by our habits. If our daily habits are not pointing us to God, our goodness keeps running on empty. And we are up against the culture that rewards the shortcuts and the highlight rails, like Stephanie said. being genuinely good in the ordinary, unseen moments rarely gets noticed or applauded. And that's why a lot of people don't do it. And if I'm honest, I am most tempted to cut corners in exactly the places no one can see, which we all are are unfortunately make those decisions. And it is easy to look put together on a Sunday at church and be completely different person in my own kitchen on a Tuesday. And that's, you know, where how quickly I want to credit for the good I do. And the goodness that no one thanks me for is so much harder to keep up than the kind that someone notices. so you know, my private thoughts are where I struggle the most. I feel like we're always in our heads. and I can behave well on the outside while my inside is full of comparison, full of judgment, resentment. And God sees all of that. Just because I'm not saying it or I'm not making that action doesn't mean that God knows what's what I'm thinking and what's in my heart at that time. so I think of the Pharisees whom Jesus said were careful to clean the outside of the cup while the inside stayed full of greed. And that's chapter twenty-three from Matthew, the book of Matthew. I do that more than I want to admit, polishing the outside while really ignoring the inside. And that's really the season that I was in last year and really have been trying to focus more on. and the hard truth is that goodness was never about being seen as good. It is about who I am when the only one watching is God. And that is much higher bar than than anything else that we can see in this world. I have to just interject and because that is such a great picture, the imagery of that cup and it being shiny on the outside. But so dirty of greed on the inside is another picture of Christ's righteousness covering us. Because we can never be fully clean on the inside. But it is his righteousness that covers us, that gives us access to the Father. So that was just a really good image. So good job. Thanks, Marvin. Work in progress. And because so much of goodness happens where we that where no one can see, it Gets really easy to cut those corners here and there and tell ourselves it does not matter. So what does it actually look like when we start cutting corners on goodness? sometimes cutting corners looks like choosing convenience over obedience. I know what the right thing is, but I convenience myself that the situation is different. I justify the shortcut because I'm tired, overwhelmed, or busy. the problem is that repeated small compromises end it ends up shaping who we are. And even those faithful habits that we've instilled start slipping. The one that's slipping for us right now is family worship every evening. And you know, I'm gonna be honest and say we've kind of pushed it to the side for the summer. Bed times are different, we were on vacation. I mean, we can make all the excuses we want. and and we are looking forward to school coming back because our rhythms are different and are more consistent in the school year. So we are looking forward to getting that back and going. Sometimes it looks like caring more about my digital image than my actual character. So social media gives us an opportunity to curate our lives. but we can share the beautiful family moment while nobody sees the impatience that happened just five minutes before we clicked submit. Five seconds before sometimes the majority family. We can post scripture while privately nurturing resentment. we can testify about God's goodness while forgetting to notice it in our ordinary lives. That doesn't mean that social media is bad. it does mean that I need to be honest about what is forming what it is forming in me. so I need to be honest about what place social media has in my life and why I'm using it and why am I posting. sometimes goodness gets crowded out because I am too busy to notice God's goodness. I read this book that is called Social Sanity and an Insta World. It was a great read. It's a short read, but the author talks about how we can become blind to what is good because we are too busy with what is easy. what really challenges me. And if I'm constantly consuming, scrolling, comparing, and reacting, I can miss the actual goodness happening right in front of me. so I need to cultivate an awareness of God's fingerprints in my everyday life. and I think that having that daily like moment of gratitude is helpful, whether you journal it or you pray about it as a family at the end of the day. it's a good habit to have. I want to remember that God's faithfulness, instead of allowing my circumstances to define what is good. So God's faithfulness is the standard for what is good. Not my circumstances. Joshua 4 gives us the picture of Israel setting up stones of remembrance after God brought them through the Jordan. And each family placed a stone in the river, and it were it was known as stones of remembrance. So that the generations to come, when they would pass, they would remember the goodness of God bringing their ancestors over the Jordan. and so we need our own stones of remembrance. And we actually did this for years after Adam's cancer. and his diagnosis was July 4th. So every July 4th, we would have these stones and we would literally write on Sharpie's ways that God provided for us and fill a vase so that we would have a a remembrance stone. But remembering births, weddings, graduations, new friendships, provision. Healing, travel, answered prayers, family growth, lessons God taught us, work He allowed us to do. When we intentionally remember God's goodness, it changes it changes what we notice each day. And so with cutting corners and kind of the conversation that we're having right now is for me, it looks like those little white lines that make our day feel easier or makes us feel like it's okay. my biggest one is telling my mom. Five minutes away. And I am nowhere to be found. but if you know anything about me, pre Girardi family, I was always early. I was never late, I was always early. And now together as a family, we mesh to the point that we're always late to my mom's house. And she'll always be like, Are you guys on your way? And I'm like, Yes, we're on our way. We're five minutes away. And we're really not, we're still sitting in Hillsborough and we have a 35-minute drive ahead of us. But that's okay. So, but it's those little white lies that make us feel good. But I mean, in all honesty, my mom knows that I'm lying. Like, I mean, why? Why why do we do it? It's because we want to make ourselves feel good, and we have to stop doing that. And so it looks like doing the right thing only when someone is watching and letting it quietly slide the moment. It looks like being one person on Sunday and another person on Tuesday and another person on Tuesday night Bible studies and and you know another one for during youth ministry group on Wednesdays. It's we we talked about this in another podcast is that we we're one person. God made us who we are for a reason. And we are to be that same person, no matter if somebody is there or somebody is not. I'm gonna be the same person with Steph on the phone. Or in person or, you know, and it's I gotta be that same person in front of Pastor Dave. And I have to be that person in front of my manager. And that's how we have to be able to accept who we are and who we're supposed to be. Okay. it looks like cutting corners on the things no one checks. I feel like we do this with work sometimes. we meaning me. I have no idea about Steph. I mean Steph's an amazing music teacher. I just love her. I'm kind of jelly and I've been watching all of these classroom setups. it's so fun. It makes me want to be a teacher. It's so fun. But my my classroom is already like perfection. So I haven't even gone in this year yet. Really? I've been I've been obsessed. I've been watching them on Facebook. So but I don't have the app on my phone anymore, so I watch it on my desktop. It's it's pathetic. It's pathetic. Okay. So but it's just telling myself Close enough is the same as being faithful when deep down, I know it is not. Okay. Pastor Dave once described a Christian professional who bows her head to pray over lunch only after glancing around to see whether her co-workers are watching. That little hesitation is the whole thing. And doing good for the audience, said Abraham. And another big thing, so I was having a meeting with Steph and one of our elders, Rob. Which he's hilarious gentleman. Sometimes. a lot of the time. Hopefully Rob's not listening, But you know, it's I always I was asking him, I said, How can I be a Christian at work? Like how can I bring who I'm supposed to be at work? And it really took me, reading my book right now, which I do not know the name of it and it's driving me nuts. Is it the lead on? Yes, the lead like leading to what God matters or I will fix this and we will put it in the show notes. But it is a phenomenal book. And we don't bring it to work. We don't have to look around and be able to see, is that acceptable? It's the it's the sink that we are who we are and we are that person at work. We are that person at home. We are that person at church and that The same values that we have in the Bible are the same values that you bring everywhere you go so that you are the character that God wants us to be, no matter what environment you are. So you know, but it's it's that little hesitation is the whole thing. Doing good for the audience instead of for God, because we do for God, we don't do for an audience. And that is where the worldly views get so much wrapped we get so wrapped up in that. and that is is really like a homing in. So the book that I'm talking about that I'm rambling about is Lead Like It Matters to God. And I'm gonna tell you no matter if you are a leader of your Bible study, a leader at work, or a leader to your family, this book just breaks it down and he is a phenomenal writer. and his story just walks you through everything that we're doing, no matter where we are. You can take it and you can learn from it to just make you a better person for who God wants you to be versus what the world wants you to be. So highly recommend that book. The author is Richard Stearns. Yes, phenomenal. He has a great story of his of course, because it's a it's like a business book, of where his path. Of leading from success to where he wakes up every morning and goes to work early so that he has a Bible that always sits on his desk and that people know him for his values and that his integrity is what is how it's always been so important to him of going into God's word versus you know, all of the the realities of everyone so numbers focused and data focused and things. So great book. But What convicts me is remembering that the proximity to Jesus is not the same as devotion to Jesus. I can look close to him on the outside while cutting corners on the inside, and he is not fooled for a second of that. So thankfully we are not left trying to muster up goodness on our own. Jesus not only lived a life of perfect, unseen goodness, he is the very source of any goodness in us. So, what does Jesus show us about this goodness? So I chose Titus 3, 4 through 7, but I'm gonna read just a portion of that. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us. So Jesus shows us that goodness begins with God's goodness towards us. Titus doesn't begin with our goodness, it begins with the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior. Before I ever did anything good for God, God demonstrated his goodness toward me. That completely changes my motivation. I'm not trying to earn anything. I'm not trying to become good enough so God will love me. I respond to a God who has already shown me incredible grace. Jesus exposes the difference between human goodness and gospel goodness. So humanistic thinking. Tells us that our core is basically good and that our problems can be solved through better education, better choices, or better circumstances. Scripture says that we need something deeper than behavior modification. We need salvation. Titus reminds us that we are saved not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy. that is humbling and incredibly freeing. The assurance that you have that nothing lands on what you have done, what you could say, what you can even try to accomplish, but it was already given to you freely through the grace of God. Jesus gives us a new identity from which goodness can grow. Because we have received mercy, we don't have to perform goodness to prove ourselves. That's freeing too. You don't have to prove yourself. You don't have to hide the cut corners. You don't have to hide sin. God knows it. and so we can confess when we fail. We can repent when our hidden lives don't match our public lives. And we can get back up and keep growing because our righteousness ultimately rests in Christ. Jesus turns goodness outward. So Titus 3 goes on to call believers to devote themselves to good works. Grace doesn't make us passive. Grace changes what motivates our action. We don't do good to earn God's love. we do good because we have received His love. So God's goodness toward me becomes the reason that I want to extend goodness toward someone else. So all this to say, you know, going back to our scripture verse, but when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, He saved us. So the first thing is that I think whenever I read this is He saved us from what? and what is it if we don't have Christ as our Lord and Savior, then I don't and I don't see a reason to need to be saved. Like That's something that you have to realize. I feel like that's genuine faith. When you realize that you are a sinner, sinner, when you are a sinner who needs to be saved from their sin, it really points to the need we have for Christ. It really points to all that He accomplished on that cross. It leads to a changed heart for us. And so when we have that genuine faith of Loving Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and realize that it is through loving kindness that God even sent His Son. I mean, it and then you get their Holy Spirit, that's the Trinity there. God sent His Son. The Son saved us from our sins, and they gave us the helper of the Holy Spirit to live a Christian life. That's the gospel, and that is the Trinity. so I think we couldn't. And that is really the heart of this group. Goodness isn't about proving that we're good people. It's about receiving the goodness of God so deeply that it begins to reshape what we do when nobody's watching. And the question now is how do we make space for that kind of transformation in everyday life? Well, Nicole Giroldi has the G's of goodness. So I'm gonna tell you. You may laugh at me, but I really love it. I really love it. Yeah, because last episode it was case for kindness. Can't wait. So num one, guard the small moments. the goodness is built in tiny unseen choices, not the big public ones. So the way you handle the moment no one will ever know about is the truest picture of your character. So ask yourself, what would you do if no one would ever find out? And then do the right thing any. Small faithfulness in private becomes the strength in public. Number two, get your goodness from the source. You are not the fountain of your own goodness. AW Pink and the Attributes of God calls God the fountain of every good. And every good thing in us just a stream flowing from him. So start the day drawing from him instead of trying to be good on your own stream. And that is where both Steph and I highly recommend getting in God's Word first thing in the morning. It really does help stable your day and really bring out what you're supposed to be doing for that day. And and it's it's just a a good thing. So if you haven't been able to find the time, start with just a minute, just one verse, because starting with God's word each day is going to help you get there. goodness you manufacture runs dry. So but goodness that flows from him keeps coming. So stay connected to the vine because the fruit only grows on the branch that abides. That's John chapter fifteen. Number three, give up the audience. Do the good thing when no one is watching and no one will ever know. Stop performing goodness for people and start offering it to God instead. So when you catch yourself wanting the credit, hand that desire to him and do it quietly instead. And Jesus said, your father who sees in secret will reward you. So then that's Matthew chapter six. Number four, throw it through your habits. Good old habits. Nicole Jarelli loves some habits. James K.A. Smith reminds us, and you are what you love, that our character is formed by our habits, not just our good intentions. So build small daily rhythms of scripture, prayer, and reflection. Sounds Bruce a little bit. Doesn't it? Or bruised. That aim your heart towards God. You will not rise to your good intentions. You will fall to your habits. So tend to your habits. What you practice in private is what you slowly become in public. Number five, go back to the word. Goodness needs a standard outside of ourselves, and the word is where we find it. Let scripture, not your feelings or the culture. Define what is actually good. A few honest minutes in the word resets your sense of right and wrong for the whole day. Hide his word in your heart so it is there in the moment you need it. Psalm 119, verse 11. Last but not least, give it away in the ordinary. Goodness is meant to be lived out in the plain, unglamorous moments of normal day. Do the ordinary right thing. The honest word, the returned cart, the extra effort no one asked for. Chip Ingram's good to great in God's eyes is a good reminder that greatness in God's eyes is built through small intentional practices repeated over time. Faithful in little is how we become faithful in much. And that's Luke chapter 16, verse 10. Maybe that is the invitation for us this week. Not to create a more impressive version of ourselves, but to slow down enough to notice where God is already working and press into that. So because we are because when we remember his goodness, we become more aware of the good that he is inviting us to participate in. So let's close this episode. and so Nicole, do you have any closing remarks about goodness? I do. when do I not have something to say? Goodness is not about being seen as good. just simple, that simple, simple statement. Goodness is not about being seen as good. It is about quietly becoming good in the moments only God will ever see. You do not have to go and overhaul everything. I know that I say this a lot and I feel like this is kind of a repetitive thing with me lately, is is but pick one hidden place this week, one small unseen choice, and do good and honest things from there. And that is where, so that is where on days where your goodness feels thin and no one is clapping for you, don't give up. Keep doing the small thing in secret and trust that God who sees in secret is growing something lasting in you. Amen. remember that goodness starts with remembering. So I want to challenge you to create your own Joshua's four stones. So maybe you write them down in a journal or maybe you make it a family activity and go collect some rocks outside and display them somewhere. But I want you to write down five ways that God has been faithful to you or your family. it doesn't have to be dramatic, but just a provision, a conversation, answered prayer, a lesson learned. just remembering God's goodness trains our hearts to see the goodness when life feels ordinary and ask God to show you one unseen place where He wants you to grow in your goodness. Maybe it is your attitude at home or your integrity at work. Maybe it is that you're on social media too much and it's consuming you. so choosing obedience when nobody would know the difference. So these are things that we can surrender. into that next step, that next moment of goodness in our lives. So the goal isn't to become people who look good. The goal is to become people whose lives increasingly, increasingly reflect the goodness of God who saved us. So that's gonna wrap up this week. Next time on Ground of Growth, we're going to be talking about faithfulness and small things. Because faithfulness isn't always found in the big, visible moments. It's built through the ordinary choices we make when no one is watching. We'll talk about what it means to keep showing up, keep obeying, and keep trusting God with the small things, knowing that He sees every act of faithfulness. So until then, bye friends. Okay. Thank you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, stay grounded and keep growing. Nicole Ghirardi: stay grounded and keep growing.