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Spoiled Saturdays: Past Lives · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I'm welcome to stuff
0:07
Speaker 1: I've never told your protection of.
0:08
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio And for this month, although we kind of already
0:21
Speaker 2: had a movie that we talked about, it wasn't necessarily
0:25
Speaker 2: the feature we were going to do for this month,
0:27
Speaker 2: but it was still fun because ten Things I Hate
0:29
Speaker 2: about You, I heart it. But we are switching it
0:34
Speaker 2: up for a spoiler Saturday or Saturday spoiler of a
0:38
Speaker 2: recently acclaimed twenty twenty three movie, Past Lives. So if
0:43
Speaker 2: you haven't watched it and you don't want to know
0:47
Speaker 2: about it, pause here and I think it is I
0:50
Speaker 2: know streaming currently on Paramount Plus, not a sponsor right now,
0:55
Speaker 2: who knows? And I go and watch it because it
0:59
Speaker 2: is a really good movie. It was written and directed
1:01
Speaker 2: by Selene Song and this movie was her feature directorial
1:06
Speaker 2: debut and has amassed a lot of praise for its
1:10
Speaker 2: unique but normalized I guess take of a love triangle
1:15
Speaker 2: and childhood First Loves. So a lot of the articles
1:18
Speaker 2: you might have seen where she's talking about it was
1:21
Speaker 2: this idea that she wanted to take a love triangle
1:25
Speaker 2: but in a normal context where there's no necessarily good
1:29
Speaker 2: guy or bad guy, and there's no like dramatic fallouts
1:33
Speaker 2: or you know, betrayals, just everyday normal conversations. And of
1:38
Speaker 2: course it's an A twenty four film, so if you
1:39
Speaker 2: know anything about A twenty four yet, no, it's going
1:42
Speaker 2: to have that very like indie style movie. But this
1:48
Speaker 2: movie was nominated for several awards, including the Academy Awards
1:52
Speaker 2: for Best Picture and the Golden Globes, and has been
1:55
Speaker 2: named on several lists for top ten films of twenty
1:59
Speaker 2: twenty three. I think it's out like a ninety to
2:01
Speaker 2: ninety five percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Still, people really really
2:05
Speaker 2: like this film. To me, kind of felt along the
2:08
Speaker 2: lines of Lost in Translation or the eternal sunshine of
2:12
Speaker 2: Spotless Mind, which it does talk about in the movie. Yeah,
2:15
Speaker 2: bet Ubs has that feel like that, almost like you're
2:20
Speaker 2: peering into someone else's private life.
2:23
Speaker 1: Yes, that was one of the things I noted. It's
2:26
Speaker 1: beautifully shot, but there is a lot of imagery of
2:29
Speaker 1: like windows or frames or like diverging pathways. But yes,
2:36
Speaker 1: a lot of like you're looking in somehow to what's
2:41
Speaker 1: what's happening on screen?
2:43
Speaker 2: Right? The movie stars Grete Lee as the adult Nora
2:48
Speaker 2: or Neong Moon and Tao You as Heysong, and then
2:53
Speaker 2: John mcgaro as Arthur. It opens as if you're a
2:57
Speaker 2: spectator and you're viewing these three people talking together and
3:01
Speaker 2: trying to guess who they are and who they are
3:03
Speaker 2: to each other. So we're going to go into the plot.
3:07
Speaker 2: But yes, again spoiler, because if we're going to talk
3:10
Speaker 2: all about it, we're going to talk about the themes,
3:12
Speaker 2: and we're going to talk about the fields because I
3:14
Speaker 2: feel like it resonates a lot with so many people
3:17
Speaker 2: in different ways. And yes, it is both in Korean
3:21
Speaker 2: and English, which was really funny for me, who watches
3:24
Speaker 2: a lot of k drama to be like, oh, but
3:25
Speaker 2: this is an American film. This is done by Canadian
3:30
Speaker 2: the director, and it is portrayed by Korean American people
3:35
Speaker 2: that I'm like, oh, this is such a weird dynamic.
3:37
Speaker 2: But I truly appreciated it. So Nay Young and her
3:42
Speaker 2: family are soon immigrating to Canada for better opportunities. And
3:46
Speaker 2: though she's really excited for the new move with the
3:49
Speaker 2: hopes of being able to win a Nobel Prize, which
3:51
Speaker 2: is what she tells everyone, she hasn't told her current
3:54
Speaker 2: love Heysong with a last date for the two of them.
4:00
Speaker 2: Haysung discovers that Nyung is moving and he as he
4:03
Speaker 2: walks her to her house for the last time, all
4:05
Speaker 2: he says is goodbye, Chiao Ja, and soon we jumped
4:09
Speaker 2: to twelve years later where Nyang, who now goes by Nora.
4:13
Speaker 2: She's working in the writing and literature world, and in
4:16
Speaker 2: a moment of conversation with her mother, she decides to
4:19
Speaker 2: look up friends from Korea and finds out that Haysong
4:22
Speaker 2: has been looking for her for quite some time, and
4:25
Speaker 2: soon they reconnect and sparks fly, but with both of
4:29
Speaker 2: them having busy lives and not being able to connect
4:31
Speaker 2: outside a video call, Nora decides to end it for
4:34
Speaker 2: a while. As she says, soon we find out that
4:38
Speaker 2: Nora has met someone through her fellowship Arthur, and Haysong
4:43
Speaker 2: has met someone while he was traveling in China, and
4:46
Speaker 2: Nora explains the Korean legend of inyan, and she says
4:51
Speaker 2: is an Indian. If two strangers even walk by each
4:55
Speaker 2: other in the street and they're clothes accidentally brushed, because
4:58
Speaker 2: it means there must have been something between them in
5:01
Speaker 2: their past lives. If two people get married they say
5:04
Speaker 2: it's because there are then eight thousand layers of India
5:07
Speaker 2: and over eight thousand lifetimes, which, of course, this is
5:12
Speaker 2: kind of the basis of this movie, is kind of
5:14
Speaker 2: the underlying idea. So jump to twelve years later and
5:17
Speaker 2: we find out that Nora and Arthur are married. Arthur
5:21
Speaker 2: is doing well and has published his book, while Nora
5:24
Speaker 2: is in the middle of her doing her play. And
5:26
Speaker 2: around that time, Haysong is about to decide to go
5:28
Speaker 2: and visit New York and wants to reconnect with Nora.
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Speaker 2: That's not what he said tells people, of course, but
5:35
Speaker 2: we find out that that is the point, and after
5:37
Speaker 2: finally seeing each other face to face, we have an
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Speaker 2: interweaving of who they were and who they have become.
5:44
Speaker 2: Haysung realizes that Arthur is a great guy who truly
5:47
Speaker 2: loves Nora, and though she has changed, she is still
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Speaker 2: the same in many ways. And even though the Na
5:54
Speaker 2: Young of youth still loves Haysong, Nora knows she has
5:58
Speaker 2: left Ney Young behind and she's come the Nora who
6:01
Speaker 2: is in New York living with our husband in a
6:04
Speaker 2: small apartment as a Korean American. And then we have
6:08
Speaker 2: the ending scene where she drops him off to his
6:12
Speaker 2: uber and she walks on a long path back to Arthur,
6:16
Speaker 2: where she cries and mourns. I guess the loss of
6:19
Speaker 2: nay Young a little bit. And then they go home
6:22
Speaker 2: and that's the end. What do you think about the movie, Annie?
6:28
Speaker 1: I really liked it. I as I said, I thought
6:32
Speaker 1: it was shocked beautifully and I love the idea because
6:37
Speaker 1: this is I think about this a lot too, of
6:39
Speaker 1: just like missed opportunities. What if I had done this?
6:41
Speaker 1: What if I had done this? Like I think it's
6:43
Speaker 1: impossible as human beings to not think about that sometimes.
6:47
Speaker 1: And I did, like honestly appreciate the complexity but also
6:51
Speaker 1: normalcy of the love triangle where it was like no
6:55
Speaker 1: real villain, it was just sort of this is how
6:58
Speaker 1: it is, this is how it turned out, and you
7:01
Speaker 1: can have a sadness for that. And I liked at
7:03
Speaker 1: the end when she was upset that Arthur like didn't
7:06
Speaker 1: he wasn't mad about it, he was just like, come inside.
7:12
Speaker 1: I liked that. I really did appreciate. I appreciate that
7:16
Speaker 1: and like seeing them connect at these different points in
7:21
Speaker 1: their life because there are pretty big time jumps. But yeah,
7:26
Speaker 1: that idea really resonated with me too, of those other
7:30
Speaker 1: pasts you didn't take in what could have happened, right right.
7:35
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot to be said about letting
7:38
Speaker 2: go of your past and who moves forward and who
7:41
Speaker 2: doesn't move forward. So it's kind of interesting because you
7:43
Speaker 2: have that dichotomy of what Hayesong is going through. Who
7:48
Speaker 2: stayed in Korea and stayed in that pathway, where as
7:52
Speaker 2: where Nora slash Nayung has gone to somewhere else and
7:56
Speaker 2: kind of became a whole different cultural person, and so
8:00
Speaker 2: what that looks like for her and she kept proceeding forward. Uh,
8:03
Speaker 2: not that Haysung doesn't do that. It's one of those
8:06
Speaker 2: things where I've always said I'd rather be the one
8:09
Speaker 2: to leave than to stay, because it feels empty when
8:12
Speaker 2: something's missing, you know what I mean. But if you're
8:14
Speaker 2: doing a new adventure, everything's new, nothing's missing because you
8:17
Speaker 2: don't know what's coming next. So it's kind of that
8:20
Speaker 2: level of what you see in that like split in paths.
8:25
Speaker 2: So Haysung always kind of thought of Niang as if
8:30
Speaker 2: we would have happened, has she stayed, what would have
8:32
Speaker 2: happened if this is and he says that during one point,
8:35
Speaker 2: you know, would we've gotten married, would we have had children,
8:37
Speaker 2: and would be you know, what would our lives been like?
8:42
Speaker 2: But yeah, so with that we'll jump into some of the themes,
8:45
Speaker 2: and of course the love theme is definitely their young
8:49
Speaker 2: love first love, you know, and for a lot of
8:53
Speaker 2: Korean drama's first love is a huge, huge, like detail
8:57
Speaker 2: and to the point that it almost takes over all
9:00
Speaker 2: of it, like she first loves trump any other love. Oddly,
9:06
Speaker 2: even if your children like, it's got that connection. And
9:09
Speaker 2: I think that's kind of what you see with hay Song,
9:12
Speaker 2: always loving her and always knowing that she's that same girl.
9:16
Speaker 2: So like he'd asked, you know, she's last saying that
9:19
Speaker 2: she wanted to you to win the Nobel Prize and
9:21
Speaker 2: not Korean people don't. And then she talks about later
9:24
Speaker 2: she wants to win the Pulitzer because she's a writer,
9:26
Speaker 2: and then it moves on to her to win the
9:29
Speaker 2: Tony because she's doing plays, you know, and he's like,
9:31
Speaker 2: you're the same, this is how you were before, except
9:34
Speaker 2: she was a cry baby and she no longer cries
9:36
Speaker 2: like that, you know, to the point that when she
9:39
Speaker 2: told Arthur, I used to cry all the time and
9:42
Speaker 2: he's like really like he was very shocked, right, you know,
9:46
Speaker 2: but that first love of remembering who she was at
9:49
Speaker 2: that beginning, and she even tells her mom as a kid,
9:52
Speaker 2: you know, yes, this is my boyfriend, Yes, I love
9:54
Speaker 2: him type of thing, even though she knew she was
9:58
Speaker 2: moving yeah.
10:02
Speaker 1: Yeah. And they were very she was from the beginning
10:06
Speaker 1: very competitive and he won, like the basketball game wasn't
10:10
Speaker 1: like one time and she was like mad about it.
10:13
Speaker 1: So it's it is interesting because she didn't really change,
10:17
Speaker 1: but the way that she was always moving forward to
10:21
Speaker 1: the next thing like it catapulted her into this direction.
10:26
Speaker 1: And it was it was sad because when they left,
10:32
Speaker 1: when she left and Haysung found out, like she was
10:36
Speaker 1: telling someone else, not how we found out, right, And
10:40
Speaker 1: they just walk home silently, which is mirrored at the
10:43
Speaker 1: end kind of it's long walk. They get to these
10:47
Speaker 1: two pathways and then they split and as you said,
10:51
Speaker 1: he just says goodbye and she just walks up the
10:53
Speaker 1: stairs and away. But it is when you're a kid,
10:56
Speaker 1: when you're figuring that stuff out. I get why those
10:59
Speaker 1: childhood gloves make such an impression that you can remember
11:02
Speaker 1: them absolutely.
11:04
Speaker 2: M of course, and with that, I guess the true
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Speaker 2: love or the adult love, because I mean, she really
11:11
Speaker 2: doesn't harp on any concept of the one or you know,
11:15
Speaker 2: true love in general. It just happened that her and Arthur.
11:19
Speaker 2: I think she truly loves him, and she says that,
11:23
Speaker 2: but at this level of like he wonders, you know, also,
11:27
Speaker 2: had I not been the one at the fellowship, which
11:29
Speaker 2: is the nian who else would you have been with?
11:33
Speaker 2: Would you thought about going back with hey Song? Like
11:36
Speaker 2: what would have happened type of conversation? And then like
11:39
Speaker 2: adult love and relationships and it's not your typical romance
11:45
Speaker 2: or whatever whatnot. It just the compromise and being together
11:49
Speaker 2: and loving each other and understanding each other, like that's
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Speaker 2: the adult version. And though it looks different because she's like,
11:57
Speaker 2: I don't know, and this could be just my own
12:00
Speaker 2: like projection that she's like, she feels like she's in
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Speaker 2: love with him as much as she is in love
12:08
Speaker 2: with Haysong. Sorry not Arthur, but the fact that she
12:12
Speaker 2: is watching him watch her, so seeing herself through his eyes, yeah,
12:19
Speaker 2: you know, yeah, which is interesting. And I think it's
12:23
Speaker 2: interesting that Arthur and you know, both of them realizing
12:27
Speaker 2: in this adult love. There's no bad guy like you
12:31
Speaker 2: know has sung saying I kind of wish you were
12:34
Speaker 2: a jerk. Yeah, but there's nothing for me to say that.
12:37
Speaker 2: You seem like a really cool person and in this
12:39
Speaker 2: relationship you and I. This is our inion as well,
12:43
Speaker 2: so it's not I can't you know, like I can't
12:45
Speaker 2: force anything. I wouldn't ever say anything, and there's nothing
12:48
Speaker 2: I would do to try to mess the relationship. I
12:51
Speaker 2: just wanted to see essentially, I guess assess the situation
12:55
Speaker 2: and Arthur is the same way. Author like he seems
12:57
Speaker 2: like a cool guy.
12:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, And as we've been saying, I like how they
13:01
Speaker 1: handled that where they communicated. Arthur communicated to his insecurities
13:08
Speaker 1: about the whole thing, but was also like, no, it's
13:11
Speaker 1: your old friend, like go be with him. Like having
13:15
Speaker 1: these adult relationships and I do. We've talked about this before,
13:21
Speaker 1: but the whole thing of you know, finding somebody as
13:26
Speaker 1: an adult does sometimes feel like difficult. So if you
13:32
Speaker 1: have I get what Arthur's saying, where like if it
13:36
Speaker 1: had been someone else, who's say, because that's how a
13:40
Speaker 1: lot of us meet people is that things like that.
13:44
Speaker 1: But I mean they had a spark as you said
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Speaker 1: they loved each other, but it is like that question
13:48
Speaker 1: is always there, and it's also yeah, I sung was
13:55
Speaker 1: the one who was looking for her, and I do
13:58
Speaker 1: think you're right about for her, it was sort of
14:02
Speaker 1: a remembering who she was and thinking about what she
14:07
Speaker 1: could have been, who she could have been because he yeah,
14:10
Speaker 1: he was more like stayed on this path that they
14:14
Speaker 1: had been on and she went a different way. So
14:18
Speaker 1: especially like at the end where they're having that conversation,
14:21
Speaker 1: and I felt kind of bad for Arthur because he
14:23
Speaker 1: was just like, yeah, you should probably it's all right,
14:26
Speaker 1: you go all right, But it was a very like,
14:30
Speaker 1: you know, they were having these memories and thinking about
14:35
Speaker 1: what could have been. But yeah, as you said, adult
14:40
Speaker 1: relationships have this layer of it's not always going to
14:45
Speaker 1: work like I thought it was when I was a kid.
14:49
Speaker 2: Right, I think the themes of youth were very parent
15:04
Speaker 2: like what you thought you wanted to what you grow
15:07
Speaker 2: Like her talking about the different awards that she was
15:09
Speaker 2: going to win changed drastically as she grew up. What
15:13
Speaker 2: she was expecting, what she wanted, that they all change
15:16
Speaker 2: and the reality of what she wanted all changed. For again,
15:20
Speaker 2: he sung, it literally was kind of the same, like
15:23
Speaker 2: he trekked into what he called ordinary. Everything was ordinary
15:28
Speaker 2: as expected. He went in his military time, and he
15:33
Speaker 2: knew what it was going to be. He went to school,
15:35
Speaker 2: he knew what it was going to be. You know,
15:37
Speaker 2: he's making some money, but it's not as much. Korean culture,
15:41
Speaker 2: adults live with their parents until they get married, essentially,
15:44
Speaker 2: and even still they may still live with their parents,
15:47
Speaker 2: and that's completely normal. And she talked about that, like
15:49
Speaker 2: that's the difference. But like he stayed again in the
15:52
Speaker 2: path that he knew from what he was as a
15:55
Speaker 2: kid to what he was an adult. Norah remembering her
15:59
Speaker 2: childhood to this, you know, and also like the fact
16:02
Speaker 2: that she only spoke Korean to those that she knew
16:04
Speaker 2: from childhood, including her mom, including hay Song. You know,
16:09
Speaker 2: it was very like obvious on those themes and the
16:12
Speaker 2: differences that grew out, but there still was like the
16:15
Speaker 2: silent thought thoughtfulness in both youth and adulthood. That makes sense.
16:20
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, yeah, I think that when like when you
16:27
Speaker 1: look at a character like Nora and you see her
16:28
Speaker 1: as a child and you can just see her thinking
16:32
Speaker 1: about this future, and it can sound kind of silly
16:34
Speaker 1: or she's like, I want to win the Nobel Prize.
16:38
Speaker 1: But she does have that drive, so it's not sound
16:42
Speaker 1: I think it can sound silly when you're an adult,
16:44
Speaker 1: but when you're a kid, you do have those moments
16:48
Speaker 1: of thoughtfulness, silence. It's like thinking about what I want
16:52
Speaker 1: my future to be. And it does change as you
16:54
Speaker 1: get older, but she still had that like drive, like
16:58
Speaker 1: even if it changed from the Tony in to whatever
17:01
Speaker 1: whatever whatever, it was still there, right, yeah, which I
17:06
Speaker 1: thought was a really fascinating look at her her character.
17:09
Speaker 2: And with that, obviously, the cultures were very much a
17:13
Speaker 2: prevalent part of their conversations, whether it was just like
17:17
Speaker 2: her speaking in Korean to Hasung and then trying to
17:20
Speaker 2: translate a little bit to Arthur, and then Arthur trying
17:22
Speaker 2: to learn Korean so you could hear what she's saying
17:25
Speaker 2: to our parents, and then like appreciating the food and
17:28
Speaker 2: appreciating the family and the culture. Of course, she makes
17:31
Speaker 2: a statement which was like on point for me. I
17:34
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, this is very big conversation about the
17:37
Speaker 2: dinverces that she talks about having Korean friends, but they're
17:40
Speaker 2: all Korean American or Korean Canadian and they are very
17:44
Speaker 2: different from what she calls Korean Korean. And I always
17:47
Speaker 2: said that too, in that level of like he is
17:49
Speaker 2: truly Korean Korean, and the differences are like him still
17:52
Speaker 2: living with his family and not going to get married
17:55
Speaker 2: until he's perfectly set, or what he thinks is rich
17:58
Speaker 2: or what he thinks is advantageous. And then her talking about,
18:02
Speaker 2: you know, the understanding the languages and how it's different
18:06
Speaker 2: that he you know, she has to talk to him
18:08
Speaker 2: in this language. And then the differences are very very obvious.
18:13
Speaker 2: Again the legends like Enyan and whether she believes in
18:16
Speaker 2: that because author's like, do you believe this? She goes
18:18
Speaker 2: no silly with this conversation that grows bigger and bigger,
18:22
Speaker 2: and then there is a divide like as much as
18:27
Speaker 2: she remembers and loves hayesng as from the old that
18:32
Speaker 2: was again Niong, that was not Nora, that was no
18:36
Speaker 2: longer Nora, and that she literally says, I left Niong
18:39
Speaker 2: with you. You know, she she exists, but in you
18:44
Speaker 2: essentially like she because of the way he remembered her.
18:47
Speaker 2: That's what it was. But that's the cultural difference of
18:49
Speaker 2: like her being very Korean Korean when she lived there
18:52
Speaker 2: to acclimating to Canada, to acclamating to the US and
18:57
Speaker 2: being a little different, and you have this that conversation
19:00
Speaker 2: that I've seen in so much social media when they
19:04
Speaker 2: literally argue with each other. I've seen Korean Americas having
19:07
Speaker 2: to defend why when we talk about the microaggressions in
19:11
Speaker 2: the US and the Koreans being like, that's the true
19:14
Speaker 2: people who live in Korea not understanding what a big
19:17
Speaker 2: deal it is because they've never understood that. And they
19:20
Speaker 2: kind of, I guess, admire and desire white culture, white
19:25
Speaker 2: American culture in so many ways that they don't understand that.
19:28
Speaker 2: So it's interesting because that there is a big divide,
19:31
Speaker 2: and I've seen that recently in conversations with African Americans
19:35
Speaker 2: or the black community in the US versus the Black
19:37
Speaker 2: community and the UK. There's been a big conversation and
19:41
Speaker 2: divide about the differences and like comparing each other's lives
19:44
Speaker 2: and talking about who's like this and that, and You're like,
19:47
Speaker 2: but the thing is you might not understand the cultural
19:51
Speaker 2: difference is when you're placed in a whole different level
19:54
Speaker 2: of culture and when you come like I would not
19:57
Speaker 2: necessarily and I've said this many times that I've been
19:59
Speaker 2: told by Korean people that I'm weird because I am
20:05
Speaker 2: not like Korean people. Obviously, I was raised in a
20:07
Speaker 2: white community and having that level of like differences. So
20:11
Speaker 2: being just Korean American, even if you are raised by
20:14
Speaker 2: Korean family, is still different from being Korean and living
20:18
Speaker 2: in South Korea. So, like, it's such a whole conversation
20:21
Speaker 2: that she has, and you can see that divide when
20:24
Speaker 2: she's talking to Arthur, like it's so apparent, versus when
20:27
Speaker 2: she's talking to Hayesong, Like you're watching this happen, you
20:30
Speaker 2: were watching the divide where she's talking Korean Korean, you know,
20:35
Speaker 2: versus Korean American. So it's such an interesting way of
20:39
Speaker 2: seeing those cultural differences play out literally in front of
20:44
Speaker 2: you at a bar.
20:45
Speaker 1: Yes. Yes, because again it starts with spectators trying to
20:50
Speaker 1: figure out, like who they are to each other, what's going.
20:54
Speaker 2: On, who's in a relationship with whom?
20:56
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, And I love that it's that way because
21:00
Speaker 1: the whole movie you're trying to figure out like.
21:02
Speaker 2: The way to be with whom?
21:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, because where we are trained to look for
21:07
Speaker 1: the like most dramatic love triangle and it really wasn't
21:12
Speaker 1: that it really wasn't, but that is I mean that
21:14
Speaker 1: it was a great visual representation of her past life
21:18
Speaker 1: in her current life, of her identity in Korea and
21:22
Speaker 1: her identity in the US and having it sort of
21:25
Speaker 1: split like this. It was really good. Yeah, visual it was.
21:31
Speaker 2: And then there's kind of this level of like destiny.
21:35
Speaker 2: Obviously that's the whole point of Indian Also is this morning,
21:39
Speaker 2: Like I put those two together because you have this
21:41
Speaker 2: like beginning and what you think could happen, and then
21:44
Speaker 2: when it doesn't happen and letting it go. That's also
21:46
Speaker 2: part of that destiny. The end scene which I did
21:50
Speaker 2: read about like they didn't know when the uber was
21:53
Speaker 2: actually coming, like she didn't Selene's song didn't tell them when.
21:57
Speaker 2: So that scene of them just waiting is legitimately like
22:00
Speaker 2: them trying to figure out what's coming to The shot
22:03
Speaker 2: with Gretelle walking was taken in one shot and she
22:08
Speaker 2: was like keeping it together, keeping it together. And then
22:10
Speaker 2: like the actual cry, which apparently was like one of
22:14
Speaker 2: the conversations, like throughout the whole thing, you feel you
22:16
Speaker 2: could just cry at any moment, How did you keep
22:18
Speaker 2: it together? Like she's like, and I waited it out
22:20
Speaker 2: and had that moment at the end, which was exactly
22:24
Speaker 2: like that feeling that like for me, there's films that
22:28
Speaker 2: I watched that aren't sad that are sad to me again, Like,
22:30
Speaker 2: so they mentioned Eternal Sunshine a spotless mind. She talks
22:34
Speaker 2: about Manta when they when they go to meet together
22:38
Speaker 2: in the Eternal Sunshine is spawless mine. So he Hayesun
22:41
Speaker 2: goes and watches it because he wants to know what
22:44
Speaker 2: she's talking about. But that to me was one of
22:47
Speaker 2: the saddest films in the end, because all I could
22:50
Speaker 2: see was they're going to repeat their mistakes and they're
22:53
Speaker 2: going to be miserable. Like they don't want to forget
22:55
Speaker 2: the good times either, but they're going to repeat their mistakes.
22:58
Speaker 2: That's what I had seen in that movie. So in
23:00
Speaker 2: this movie, as where she is crying at ending, it
23:03
Speaker 2: didn't feel sad. It just felt final.
23:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt kind of cathartic, like, yeah, Okay, I've
23:12
Speaker 1: I've like examined this thing that I thought maybe could
23:15
Speaker 1: have been a chance in another life, and it makes
23:18
Speaker 1: me sad that I didn't get it in some ways,
23:21
Speaker 1: but in other ways I'm really happy with what I
23:23
Speaker 1: have right, So it was much more like kind of
23:27
Speaker 1: an acknowledgment. It just felt much more of a letting
23:32
Speaker 1: herself acknowledge that maybe that could have been something, but
23:38
Speaker 1: it's not going to be and she's like what she
23:40
Speaker 1: has right, She's.
23:43
Speaker 2: There with what she needs. The biggest theme is the
23:56
Speaker 2: relationships that we see, and there was also those relationships,
24:01
Speaker 2: but also kind of like the humanity in those relationships.
24:04
Speaker 2: So you see Arthur and I think we don't want
24:06
Speaker 2: to leave this out, but him feeling insecure, but at
24:09
Speaker 2: the same time not want to hold her back, but
24:13
Speaker 2: just waiting, like he literally is just waiting to see
24:17
Speaker 2: what's going to happen and making sure that he is
24:20
Speaker 2: the guy that he's always been, whether it feels insecure,
24:24
Speaker 2: whether he's feeling like and I could get this that
24:26
Speaker 2: he's missing a small link to her life. So here's
24:30
Speaker 2: this big part of her life where she was in
24:32
Speaker 2: South Korea, when she was raised in South Korea. She
24:35
Speaker 2: is still raised in the culture of South Korea with
24:37
Speaker 2: her parents. That's not a part of his life and
24:40
Speaker 2: he's never seen that as a thing and the cultural
24:43
Speaker 2: divide in that. But trying to get into it, trying
24:45
Speaker 2: to learn it and trying to understand it and then
24:48
Speaker 2: seeing when someone does connect to that. So therefore he's
24:51
Speaker 2: kind of just like taken aback, feeling a little bit
24:54
Speaker 2: insecure because that's such a huge part of her, but
24:57
Speaker 2: at the same time being secure enough to wait and
24:59
Speaker 2: hold back.
25:01
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, again, I did appreciate that that there was
25:05
Speaker 1: a lot of communication of you know, in that instance,
25:10
Speaker 1: him being open about like, yeah, it makes me sad,
25:14
Speaker 1: I can't be a part of this. I'm a part
25:16
Speaker 1: of this part of your life. Him being a little saying,
25:20
Speaker 1: essentially I'm insecure, but this is like your childhood friend,
25:24
Speaker 1: please go. Like, I appreciate that they had those conversations,
25:28
Speaker 1: and I do think one of the big things about
25:31
Speaker 1: this movie is waiting. There's a lot of waiting that
25:35
Speaker 1: sometimes works out well and sometimes not badly. But like
25:40
Speaker 1: for a high sung like he only said goodbye when
25:44
Speaker 1: she left, she didn't say anything. It was a much
25:47
Speaker 1: more like waiting to see what the other person would do.
25:50
Speaker 1: So I think that's an interesting scene throughout as well,
25:54
Speaker 1: of sort of seeing what the other person is going
25:57
Speaker 1: to do, right.
25:58
Speaker 2: That definitely was mm hmmm, hey song realizing he has
26:02
Speaker 2: to let go. It was kind of one of those
26:06
Speaker 2: main things where he was leaving. He did an amazing job.
26:10
Speaker 2: Two did an amazing job being the awkward visitor, like,
26:16
Speaker 2: he did such a good job with this. The original
26:20
Speaker 2: actor was going to be Troy who was in Parasite,
26:25
Speaker 2: so he was the starring Parasite, but I don't know
26:27
Speaker 2: what happened. Apparently he was signed on in twenty twenty
26:30
Speaker 2: and then Tayo got the role instead, which is interesting
26:35
Speaker 2: to me because there's a huge age difference between him
26:38
Speaker 2: and Greta Lee, So I was like, that would have
26:41
Speaker 2: been but he's actually a Canadian born Korean that moved
26:46
Speaker 2: back to South Korea, So I was like, as a
26:48
Speaker 2: whole underlying I wonder if it had taken a whole
26:51
Speaker 2: different conversation if that had happened. But I think Tayo
26:56
Speaker 2: did an amazing job that he really jumped into that
27:01
Speaker 2: awkwardness so well, but like still anticipating, he had that
27:08
Speaker 2: anticipation awkward loving guy like, he did an amazing job
27:15
Speaker 2: with that role. And then of course readily in all
27:18
Speaker 2: of her greatness, who I loved her. I've loved her
27:20
Speaker 2: since I saw her on a New Girl so she
27:22
Speaker 2: came in playing a character as Nick's girlfriend and new girl,
27:25
Speaker 2: and I was just excited to see an Asian woman
27:28
Speaker 2: being seen not as a fetish but just in a
27:31
Speaker 2: normal relationship in the story. And I was like, WHOA,
27:34
Speaker 2: look at that, what do you unlike supernatural anyway, but
27:39
Speaker 2: like but yeah, So I really appreciated seeing her just
27:43
Speaker 2: being playing those roles. When she played in Russian Doll,
27:47
Speaker 2: I loved her character in that, so seeing her in
27:50
Speaker 2: this role just was like amazing, and she did a
27:53
Speaker 2: phenomenal job. And because I've only seen her typically in
27:56
Speaker 2: like comedies, so seeing her in this role really like
28:00
Speaker 2: taking it on and really like understanding that divide, that
28:04
Speaker 2: the slash of culture, because I think that's such a
28:06
Speaker 2: big conversation that we don't have, especially with API, what
28:10
Speaker 2: that looks like and how different it really is, how
28:13
Speaker 2: unique that culture is to come into from one culture
28:19
Speaker 2: but living in another culture, so acclimating to both but
28:23
Speaker 2: at the same time not losing either. And she and
28:26
Speaker 2: gradually did an amazing job I think, and portraying that
28:30
Speaker 2: also knowing that she did a good job in like
28:35
Speaker 2: loving both men, like loving them as the two separate people,
28:38
Speaker 2: as being Nora as being nay young like she did
28:41
Speaker 2: a great job and portraying almost like a split personality
28:45
Speaker 2: in the same role. It was beautiful.
28:48
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she did. It was really it was. It
28:52
Speaker 1: was fun to see her in those different contexts of
28:56
Speaker 1: like you got your relationship that she's pretty much settled
28:59
Speaker 1: in and with Arthur and it's happy with but it's
29:01
Speaker 1: like settled in. Yeah, and then hy Son comes back
29:05
Speaker 1: and you just kind of see this excitement of like
29:07
Speaker 1: her so eager to catch up. But it is interesting too,
29:12
Speaker 1: the dynamic of when someone who you haven't seen since
29:18
Speaker 1: childhood like comes to visit you and maybe they never
29:20
Speaker 1: left your hometown or something, and there is a weirdness
29:24
Speaker 1: to it where you're like the things you're talking about
29:30
Speaker 1: can feel so out of touch for the other person,
29:34
Speaker 1: where you're like talking about friends that they don't know,
29:36
Speaker 1: or like things that you do that they don't know.
29:40
Speaker 1: And she Nora was very much like trying and keep
29:42
Speaker 1: it in his realm of you know, really reliving these
29:45
Speaker 1: things or stuff like that. But and they did have
29:49
Speaker 1: it was interesting to me that they had some kind
29:51
Speaker 1: of like I wouldn't call them tense, but like you
29:53
Speaker 1: got married, you were dating someone.
29:56
Speaker 2: And she made you to correct them very quickly. Yes,
29:59
Speaker 2: and you got don't play, don't act like I'm the
30:02
Speaker 2: only one here, moving on.
30:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's almost like they stayed, as we've been saying,
30:08
Speaker 1: they kind of stayed in the past, and that's where
30:10
Speaker 1: they were really good. But when you come to the
30:13
Speaker 1: future to the present, it can be sort of jarring
30:17
Speaker 1: to when you realize you've just really went down different paths,
30:20
Speaker 1: you've lived different lives.
30:22
Speaker 2: Right, yeah. And I think that conversation when we have
30:26
Speaker 2: the initial secondary breakup in the harbor of making that point,
30:32
Speaker 2: I'm not coming to Korea anytime soon. You're not coming
30:34
Speaker 2: into the US anytime soon. What is this. We're not
30:38
Speaker 2: going to bring this together. Neither one of us can
30:41
Speaker 2: get to the point of sacrificing our current livelihoods for
30:46
Speaker 2: the other. So what you know, like this is not feasible.
30:52
Speaker 1: Right yeah, Yeah, And as you said, she was the one, which,
30:57
Speaker 1: by the way, they were using Skype, Samantha.
31:02
Speaker 2: That was also twenty ten.
31:05
Speaker 1: I don't care.
31:08
Speaker 2: Two. Skype was the only thing that existed at that point, man, I.
31:14
Speaker 1: Don't care at all. When she Nora was like, we
31:20
Speaker 1: have to take a we have to take a break.
31:23
Speaker 1: It was kind of interesting because they weren't in a
31:27
Speaker 1: relationship in any way really, but they just had this
31:30
Speaker 1: like chemistry and it was so exciting and they were
31:32
Speaker 1: talking to each other all the time. But yeah, she
31:35
Speaker 1: brought up that and was like, when is it gonna
31:39
Speaker 1: be we're gonna see each other. It's not gonna work
31:40
Speaker 1: out some years, right, if at all. So I need
31:45
Speaker 1: to go focus. I need to go back and focus
31:46
Speaker 1: on what I'm doing here. I thought that was really
31:50
Speaker 1: interesting that they had kind of a like non breakup
31:54
Speaker 1: breaking right, it's p a hole, right.
31:58
Speaker 2: It was causing too much confusion, like she and she
32:00
Speaker 2: said that. She was like, I'm looking up flights and
32:02
Speaker 2: wanting to be there, but I can't be there, Like
32:04
Speaker 2: this is not working because I have to be present here. Yeah,
32:10
Speaker 2: and I can't sacrifice, and you can't sacrifice for us
32:13
Speaker 2: to be together. So and yeah, you're right. They never
32:18
Speaker 2: really have breakups. They just say bye. They give the
32:21
Speaker 2: Irish goodbye is what I like to call it.
32:26
Speaker 1: The Irish listeners are furiously now.
32:31
Speaker 2: I have a feeling a lot of the Irish people
32:32
Speaker 2: are like, yeah, I just leave. I don't want to
32:34
Speaker 2: talk to you.
32:36
Speaker 1: Hey, that's one way to do it, for sure.
32:41
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna slip away or ghosting, but they didn't
32:44
Speaker 2: ghost because she actually talked about it. But yeah, I
32:48
Speaker 2: think it's it's obviously coming to the end, and that's
32:53
Speaker 2: every point. And then that final end I think was
32:57
Speaker 2: the closure. Like they may speak every now and again,
32:59
Speaker 2: but it's not going to be with any Yeah, question
33:04
Speaker 2: marks unless one of them gets, unless she gets divorced
33:08
Speaker 2: and he doesn't get. That's the sequel. Yeah, that's the
33:14
Speaker 2: next one, past live to we do what might have been?
33:22
Speaker 2: They could just do like a thing and where they
33:23
Speaker 2: have a parallel world and then we'll do that view.
33:26
Speaker 2: Because I was like, you know, this is reminiscent to
33:28
Speaker 2: that which the Nail brothers did talk about that and
33:30
Speaker 2: love this movie without the fantastical part. Is that reality part?
33:35
Speaker 1: I thought that too, because you know, you see the
33:37
Speaker 1: main characters in that movie talking about divorce and seeing
33:41
Speaker 1: all the past they could have gone down, right, the
33:44
Speaker 1: one where Michelle Yo like stays and becomes a movie
33:48
Speaker 1: star action star, right, and they meet back up and
33:52
Speaker 1: they are talking about what could have been, which is
33:55
Speaker 1: the reality of the movie. We're watching but yeah, I
33:57
Speaker 1: definitely was like this it's got this similarity.
34:00
Speaker 2: Yeah. I also liked that the emotional scenes to me
34:04
Speaker 2: wasn't emotional as emotional so the people like the rock scene,
34:06
Speaker 2: everybody really really lost it, and I was like, it's cute, though,
34:09
Speaker 2: I mean, I really loved it. I was like, I
34:11
Speaker 2: don't know, if it's that emotion, I get it. Maybe
34:14
Speaker 2: I just don't have the depth to this, so it's
34:17
Speaker 2: just the same way some of the things in the past.
34:19
Speaker 2: LOT was like, I get it, it's it's like melancholy,
34:22
Speaker 2: but it's not mournful to me. Like those are two
34:27
Speaker 2: different conversations. But yeah, and I have to throw out
34:31
Speaker 2: because I did talk about Gridley being in all the comedies.
34:33
Speaker 2: She was also in What We Do in the Shadows
34:36
Speaker 2: as well, and she was phenomenal that This is why
34:39
Speaker 2: I say, like, I just know her for the comedy,
34:41
Speaker 2: so seeing her really be at the forefront of this
34:43
Speaker 2: was beautiful. I hope we have more movies like this,
34:46
Speaker 2: and I really love that that that Korean films and
34:50
Speaker 2: foreign films are coming out. I love that Asian films
34:54
Speaker 2: are coming out. You see Monkey Man that has nothing
34:57
Speaker 2: to do with feminism, necessarily but does from what I understand.
35:02
Speaker 2: But I love seeing like Eastern films come into light
35:06
Speaker 2: and getting accolades throughout different cultures. Because the US is
35:11
Speaker 2: such a diverse population, it should it should be reminiscent
35:15
Speaker 2: to all of this. So being able to watch different
35:18
Speaker 2: levels cultures is so important. So things like everything everywhere
35:23
Speaker 2: all at once, Things like Minari, which I haven't watched
35:26
Speaker 2: because I think that's gonna be too sad for me.
35:29
Speaker 2: I gotta get into that, but I'm like, I don't
35:31
Speaker 2: know if already, Things like Past Lives, you know, when
35:35
Speaker 2: we talked about films like Bended, like Beckham White was
35:38
Speaker 2: important for what it was like, It's a silly, fun film,
35:41
Speaker 2: but it's culturally impactful. And seeing things like that is
35:45
Speaker 2: so impactful because this is the same thing with Past Lives.
35:48
Speaker 2: There's no big, like political statement here. It's just about
35:53
Speaker 2: a different cultural life but mixing with what we do,
36:00
Speaker 2: what we are familiar with. So we have the New
36:02
Speaker 2: York scene, but we have a different cultural aspect to
36:06
Speaker 2: this conversation. And I think that's what I love about
36:09
Speaker 2: this film is that, yes, it's relatable in so many
36:13
Speaker 2: ways for so many different groups of people. And we
36:17
Speaker 2: have to have the conversation what it looks like for immigration,
36:19
Speaker 2: and we talk about the and this is the whole
36:22
Speaker 2: Koreans believing coming into North America, whether it's Canada or
36:26
Speaker 2: to the US, it's going to give you more opportunities.
36:29
Speaker 2: And they say that at the very beginning, because that
36:31
Speaker 2: was that ideal that we come through and find better
36:36
Speaker 2: and bigger opportunities here in the US or in Canada,
36:40
Speaker 2: as this was based. And Selene's song really putting some
36:45
Speaker 2: depth to that and personality to that conversation.
36:48
Speaker 1: So yeah, huh, yeah, highly recommend it. As you say,
36:54
Speaker 1: I found it more melancholy and then sad, but it
36:57
Speaker 1: was also just relatable. I think we all have those
37:00
Speaker 1: feelings of what could have been.
37:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think about that often, like cool,
37:05
Speaker 2: what have happened if I didn't get adopted? I define
37:07
Speaker 2: wouldn't be here?
37:09
Speaker 1: Right, I mean I think we all I don't think
37:14
Speaker 1: we all think about those things. So highly recommend listeners.
37:19
Speaker 1: If you have any thoughts about this or any suggestions,
37:22
Speaker 1: we do have a list You can email us at
37:26
Speaker 1: Stuffy da Mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
37:28
Speaker 1: find us on Twitter at moms to podcast or on
37:30
Speaker 1: Instagram and TikTok at stuff one. Never Told You. We're
37:32
Speaker 1: also on YouTube, but we have a tea public store
37:35
Speaker 1: and a book you can get wherever you get your books.
37:37
Speaker 1: Thanks as always to our super producer Christina or exective producer,
37:40
Speaker 1: my intercontributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
37:43
Speaker 1: Steffan Never Told You is production of by Heart Radio.
37:45
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, check out the
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Speaker 1: art radio app, Apple podcast or where you listen to
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