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The #1 Reason Men Don't Lead (And How to Fix It) · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  What if I told you that one of the biggest reasons why women struggle to experience masculine leadership in their relationships is because they're constantly stepping into that role themselves?
• 0:42
  Now, before anybody gets upset, hear me out.
• 0:44
  I'm not saying that men don't have responsibility for how they show up.
• 0:47
  They absolutely do.
• 0:49
  But what I am saying is that a lot of women have unknowingly created relationship dynamics where they're doing everything, managing everything, planning everything, paying for everything, and then wondering why the man they're with isn't stepping up.
• 1:03
  And this part might sting a little bit, but you cannot complain about carrying the masculine role while simultaneously refusing to release it.
• 1:11
  And I see this all the time, women who say that they want a masculine man, but they don't trust him to make a decision, women who wanna be provided for, but immediately reach for their wallets, women who want a man to lead, but they've already planned the entire relationship before he's even had a chance to show them what he's capable of.
• 1:28
  And then they're exhausted, and then they're resentful, and then they find my YouTube channel, and they're wondering where all the masculine men have gone.
• 1:36
  So in this video, we're gonna be talking about the one feminine shift that actually gets men to step up.
• 1:43
  Let's get into it.
• 1:43
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:45
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:52
  Lately, we've been talking a lot about relationships and relationship dynamics.
• 1:56
  It's based on my 15 years of experience coaching women in different areas of their lives and going from a hyper-independent woman who attracted a lot of passive men, who was in survival mode for a long time, to applying a lot of the things that I talk about on this YouTube channel and manifesting my protector provider husband in about four months.
• 2:16
  So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell.
• 2:21
  If you want live streams where I engage with you live and answer your questions, then become a member and join.
• 2:28
  And, uh, you might hear me talking about a lot of archetypes like the Wounded Maiden, the Awakening Warrior, the Conscious Queen, and the Magnetic Empress.
• 2:36
  I teach from these four archetypes to help you make sense of where you are on your spiritual journey, also your psychological development, or just help you understand what patterns are playing out in your life and in your relationships, whether for good or for bad.
• 2:50
  So if you would like to understand which of the four archetypes is most dominant in your life and how it's showing up in your relationships, then just go to mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
• 3:00
  It's three minutes.
• 3:01
  It's absolutely free, and it's, it's, it's gonna help you make sense of a whole lot of things.
• 3:06
  It's gotten rave reviews in helping women gain a lot more clarity about where they are struggling in relationships, so mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
• 3:16
  So let's get into why so many women are stuck in masculine energy, because it's probably not what you think, right?
• 3:21
  The internet will have you believe that it's men's fault that women are stuck in masculine energy.
• 3:27
  Um, and yes, men do have some responsibility to take, but the truth is that this started way before you even had your first boyfriend, okay?
• 3:35
  This started very, very young, and most women are not over-functioning because they enjoy it.
• 3:41
  In fact, most women hate over-functioning.
• 3:44
  It's why this YouTube channel has grown so quickly.
• 3:47
  The reason why they over-function is because somewhere along the way, they learned that if they didn't take care of something, then nothing would get done.
• 3:56
  So maybe you watched your mom carry the entire household, or maybe you had a father who wasn't emotionally or financially present.
• 4:05
  Maybe you've been in relationships where you couldn't rely on anybody, or maybe you've been independent for so long that receiving help actually makes you feel uncomfortable.
• 4:16
  That was me, by the way, for a long time.
• 4:18
  My mother was an awakening warrior.
• 4:20
  She taught me to be an awakening warrior.
• 4:22
  And once again, if you wanna know which of these archetypes is most dominant for you, mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
• 4:29
  So I was in survival mode for a long time because it's just what I was taught to do, and this is where the nervous system comes into play.
• 4:37
  So if you've spent years in survival mode, control starts to feel like safety.
• 4:42
  So what that looks like is you feel safe when you're the one making the decisions.
• 4:47
  You feel safe when you're the one managing the money.
• 4:49
  You feel safe when you're the one figuring everything out.
• 4:52
  But then here's what happens.
• 4:54
  You start confusing control with security, and then when a man comes into your life, you unconsciously bring that same energy into the relationship.
• 5:04
  And when you do that, it creates what I call the negative polarity reinforcement loop.
• 5:09
  And what that looks like is a woman begins a relationship primarily in her masculine energy, and then if she's dating, she tends to attract more of the passive men.
• 5:18
  If she's been in a long-term relationship, um, then eventually what happens over time is she just starts becoming resentful from over-functioning all the time.
• 5:27
  Because when a woman is more in her masculine energy for long periods of time out of survival mode and over-giving and over-functioning, it depletes her.
• 5:37
  She becomes exhausted, and she becomes very resentful while the man has to take the feminine pole and becomes a lot more passive.
• 5:46
  What we want to create is what I call the positive polarity reinforcement loop, where he is primarily in his masculine energy, and he's giving because men love to do that, and men love to do that for women who are very good at receiving it, which is a whole other conversation.
• 6:03
  But men love to do that for women who are good at receiving.
• 6:05
  And then he sees how he made your life better and put a smile on your face, and then he wants to do more.
• 6:11
  So he wants to be more successful.
• 6:12
  He wants to go make more money.
• 6:14
  He wants to solve more of your problems.
• 6:16
  He wants to make you happy, and then you are relaxed.
• 6:19
  And both people, when they are in their respective poles, that's how you maintain the long-term attraction over time.
• 6:26
  And I have a theory that that's also how you manifest like crazy as a couple, but that's also a video for another time.
• 6:32
  In fact, I might make that a live stream, so make sure to join the community as a member in order to get a live stream on how you can manifest faster when you are in the positive polarity reinforcement loop Now, when you unconsciously bring masculine energy into a relationship and you create that negative polarity reinforcement loop, this is when women start managing men.
• 6:56
  This is when they remind him of everything.
• 6:59
  They tell him what to do.
• 7:00
  They anticipate everyone else's problems before the problems even happen.
• 7:04
  And even if a man does try and give to you and does try and step up, if he doesn't do it exactly the way that you would have done it, you take over.
• 7:13
  Here's an example.
• 7:13
  This is one that recently came up in one of our livestreams, where a woman got awakening warrior on her quiz as her archetype.
• 7:21
  So once again, make sure to go to mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz to know which archetype is most dominant for you.
• 7:27
  And she was saying that her husband was more passive.
• 7:30
  Now, she started following a lot of the advice that I talk about on this YouTube channel and started seeing some results, right?
• 7:35
  So she started asking her husband for help, and he wanted to go help her.
• 7:39
  But here's where things went awry.
• 7:41
  He didn't do it fast enough.
• 7:42
  He ran into a snag.
• 7:43
  He ran into a challenge, and she immediately started googling a solution.
• 7:48
  So unbeknownst to her, what she did is she took away his opportunity to build more confidence as a masculine man.
• 7:55
  She took away the opportunity for him to become her hero, which is how men bond to you, is by investing in you and helping you solve problems, um, because investment isn't just money.
• 8:05
  It's a whole lot of things.
• 8:06
  But also a video for another time.
• 8:09
  Make sure to subscribe.
• 8:11
  And she took away his ability to bond to her.
• 8:14
  So what happens, is because she starts getting anxious in that moment, which is what most women do, they're starting to get anxious, they start feeling unsafe, then they start jumping in.
• 8:23
  So what she has to learn how to do is learn to soothe herself when she is feeling that anxiety and let people be adults, right?
• 8:31
  Rather than managing them.
• 8:34
  And then eventually she will rewire that pattern over time, and when you regulate your nervous system, you regulate your reality.
• 8:41
  It will start to change.
• 8:43
  So for those of you who've been asking me, like,"How did you break this pattern?" That's how I broke it.
• 8:47
  I started asking people for help.
• 8:49
  I started letting men give to me.
• 8:50
  And when I would feel guilty or anxious or unsafe or like I wanted to control, rather than jumping in- I would just learn how to soothe myself and deal with my feelings until my reality completely shifted, and it did not take that long for my reality, to shift.
• 9:07
  Now, there is a really important distinction here.
• 9:09
  I'm not talking about men who have repeatedly demonstrated that they're irresponsible or unwilling to contribute.
• 9:16
  I'm not talking about that.
• 9:17
  I'm talking about situations where a capable man is trying to show up, like in the case with this viewer on our live stream, and the woman is so accustomed to being in control that she struggles to let him show up.
• 9:30
  The two are very different situations.
• 9:33
  Now, here's the single shift to go from control to receptivity.
• 9:38
  Stop asking,"How do I get him to step up?" and instead ask yourself,"Am I creating space for him to show me who he is?" Because these are two completely different questions, right?
• 9:51
  The first one puts you in the position of managing another adult.
• 9:54
  It puts you in masculine energy.
• 9:56
  It puts you in the masculine pole.
• 9:58
  It puts you in the role of the over-functioner, the awakening warrior, or sometimes the wounded maiden.
• 10:03
  She just manipulates in a different way.
• 10:05
  And the second one puts you in the position of feminine energy, where you're leaning back, you're observing, you're receiving, and you're discerning.
• 10:13
  And this is something that I teach all the time.
• 10:15
  Feminine energy is not about being passive.
• 10:17
  A lot of women make the mistake that you become passive and docile.
• 10:20
  No, those are wounded maidens who are doormats, right?
• 10:23
  Feminine energy, empowered feminine energy, she knows how to discern.
• 10:27
  She knows how to discern, she knows how to observe, and she knows how to make decisions accordingly.
• 10:32
  And what's happening for a lot of you is you're not even giving men the space to show you who they are so you can make the appropriate decision for yourself Feminine energy is also not about being helpless, and it's certainly not about pretending that you don't know how to do things.
• 10:46
  It's about being secure enough within yourself that you no longer feel compelled to control everything around you.
• 10:52
  So let's say you're dating a man and he asks you out.
• 10:55
  Instead of immediately suggesting the restaurant, sending him the reservation link, figuring out the time, figuring out the parking, and everybody's schedules, what if you just simply said,"I love that.
• 11:06
  What did you have in mind?" And then you let him answer.
• 11:10
  You let him plan.
• 11:12
  You let him demonstrate his level of effort.
• 11:16
  Because darling, you don't have to fill every moment of silence.
• 11:19
  You don't have to rescue every situation.
• 11:21
  You definitely don't have to rescue an able-bodied grown man.
• 11:24
  You don't have to make everything easier for him.
• 11:26
  It's the opposite.
• 11:27
  You should be giving him challenges so that he becomes more attracted to you, and I cover that more in my Feminine Magnetism Mastery program, which I will leave the link below so you can grab it.
• 11:38
  And here's where it gets really interesting.
• 11:40
  When you stop doing all the work, you get to see what he's naturally inclined to do.
• 11:44
  So you get to see whether or not he follows through, you get to see whether or not he takes initiative, you get to see whether or not he considers your needs, you get to see whether or not he enjoys making your life easier because healthy masculine men will enjoy making your life easier.
• 13:00
  And all of it is information, and it's really valuable information.
• 13:04
  Because you do not need to convince a man to become someone who is not.
• 13:08
  For the love of God, stop trying to make inconsistent men consistent.
• 13:12
  Try, stop trying to make unhealthy men healthy.
• 13:14
  You are not his mother.
• 13:16
  What you need to do is you need to create enough space for you to see who he already is Now, the next thing women need to learn how to do is stop rewarding passivity with more effort.
• 13:34
  Now, this is where I'm gonna give you a little bit of tough love because your mama probably didn't tell you this, your grandma probably didn't tell you this, your aunties probably didn't tell you this, your sisters didn't tell you this, and your girlfriends in modern day are definitely not telling you this.
• 13:45
  So I've noticed that a lot of women will say that they want a provider man, but then they find ways to make the provision completely optional.
• 13:54
  So let's be really clear about something off the bat.
• 13:57
  There's nothing wrong with a woman having her own money.
• 13:59
  I make my own money, and my husband still pays the bills.
• 14:02
  I run businesses, and my husband still does his masculine role as a protector and a provider.
• 14:07
  I love making money.
• 14:08
  But being financially capable and feeling responsible for financially carrying an able-bodied man are two completely different things.
• 14:17
  So if you want a relationship where a man takes pride in providing, protecting, and leading, then you need to stop automatically volunteering to do all of those things for him.
• 14:28
  So for example, if a man invites you on a date and you immediately insist on paying, what are you communicating?
• 14:35
  Now, you might think that you're being considerate.
• 14:37
  You might think that you're demonstrating independence, but if what you actually desire is a man who enjoys treating you and a man who is a provider, then you're not allowing yourself to see what his relationship is with that.
• 14:50
  And this extends far beyond money.
• 14:53
  Money is just one aspect in which this shows up Let's say that he tells you that he wants to see you this weekend, but Friday rolls around and he hasn't made a plan.
• 15:03
  What do a lot of women do?
• 15:05
  They start texting.
• 15:06
  "So what are...
• 15:06
  Are we doing something?
• 15:07
  Where do you wanna go?
• 15:08
  Do you need me to make the reservation?" And then she ends up coordinating the entire date rather than just leaning back and allowing his actions to speak for themselves.
• 15:20
  If he follows through, great.
• 15:22
  If he follows through with enough time for you to prepare, great.
• 15:25
  If he doesn't, that is also information.
• 15:28
  Now, you don't have to punish him.
• 15:30
  You don't have to lecture him.
• 15:31
  You don't have to send a five-paragraph text explaining why you're disappointed in him.
• 15:36
  You simply observe whether his behavior aligns with what you desire.
• 15:41
  And a lot of you are out here behaving in ways where you say you want something, but you don't behave like a woman who actually wants those things.
• 15:49
  Because a woman in her feminine energy doesn't need to manage a man's potential.
• 15:53
  She gets to evaluate his reality and make her decision accordingly.
• 15:57
  And this is where so many women get stuck, and I see it in the comments section all the time They get so attached to what a man could be that they start doing the work of turning him into that person.
• 16:13
  He becomes a project, and that again puts her in the masculine pole, puts him in a more feminine pole, or creates a dynamic where you are his mom Only for you to build him up, he finally maybe turns into a diamond, and then he leaves you for someone else.
• 16:28
  Or I've had women send me emails and messages where they've bought houses and businesses for men because they saw the potential.
• 16:34
  And guess what happened?
• 16:35
  As soon as that business stopped working, he left.
• 16:39
  He left.
• 16:40
  He left her high and dry with the bag of the business and the responsibility of a failing business.
• 16:47
  My love, love is not a rehabilitation project, and attraction is not an assignment.
• 16:51
  This is very simple.
• 16:52
  You get very clear on what your values and desires are, and you let men show you whether or not they are in alignment with that.
• 16:59
  And if they are not in alignment with that, you don't engage.
• 17:02
  It's that simple.
• 17:03
  You don't engage, and you move on to the next one Now, I wish it was as simple as what I just said, but the reality is that receptivity requires nervous system safety.
• 17:12
  So we're gonna go a little bit deeper because it's easy for me to sit here and tell you to stop controlling everything.
• 17:19
  But if your nervous system associates surrender with danger, it's not going to feel easy.
• 17:25
  And by the way, I understand this really well because this was me for a very long time.
• 17:29
  So you might intellectually understand that you want to receive, but the minute someone offers to take care of something, you feel uncomfortable, or you double-check everything, or you make sure that it's done correctly, or you have your backup plan.
• 17:44
  And this is where the inner work becomes very important because receptivity isn't just a behavior, It's about the ability to allow something good into your life without immediately feeling the need to control it, repay it, or prove that you deserve it.
• 17:58
  And what happens with a lot of women out here is that they will say that they want a provider, they say that they want people to support them, um, but then they start feeling very uncomfortable when people start doing it, or they get a lot of feelings of guilt.
• 18:10
  A lot of women have been told stories like, you know,"Now you owe them something," or,"It makes you a weak person." So we have to learn to deal with all of these things and rep- repattern our nervous system.
• 18:20
  So you wanna start noticing what starts happening in your body when someone offers to help you.
• 18:27
  Do you feel guilty?
• 18:28
  Do you tense up?
• 18:29
  Do you immediately say,"Oh, no, that's okay, I've got it"?
• 18:33
  Or do you feel like accepting the help makes you weak?
• 18:36
  Do you think it makes you, like, a dumb person, an, an uncapable person?
• 18:40
  That's another one that shows up a lot.
• 18:42
  And these reactions can tell you a lot about your relationship with receiving.
• 18:47
  And then I want you to practice something very simple.
• 18:50
  The next time someone offers something kind for you, and it's something you genuinely want, just say,"Thank you, I'd love that." That's it.
• 19:00
  No explanation, no apology, no immediate attempt to return the favor.
• 19:04
  Just receive it, and receive it well, and notice how that feels Because for some women, receiving is actually more uncomfortable than giving because giving keeps you in control, whereas receiving requires a degree of trust, and the feminine is surrendered.
• 19:22
  And what is surrendered?
• 19:23
  It's just trust.
• 19:25
  That's what it means to be surrendered, that you trust.
• 19:27
  You trust the universe, you trust the people around you, you trust yourself at the end of the day.
• 19:32
  And that's why feminine embodiment is so much deeper than just wearing dresses or speaking softly.
• 19:38
  It's about developing the internal safety to let go of unnecessary control while still trusting yourself to maintain your boundaries, and this is something that I'm gonna be covering very deeply in the 2027 Magnetic Manifestation Portal.
• 19:52
  It's a live online event that I'm gonna be doing December 5th and 6th, so Saturday, December 5th, and Sunday, December 6th, on Zoom.
• 20:00
  It's gonna be a two-day event where I prepare you to let go of all of these patterns that are no longer serving you as we prepare to go into 2027 so you can become the woman who has the capacity to receive the love that she desires.
• 20:15
  And as a bonus, you're gonna get my Magnetic Woman Transformation training immediately upon signing up.
• 20:22
  It is my best nervous system regulation training of all time.
• 20:25
  Many of you ask about burnout, re-patterning the nervous system.
• 20:28
  That's the best training, and you get it as a bonus when you sign up for the Magnetic Manifestation Portal, which is currently at an early bird price.
• 20:36
  So you can find all the information, links, et cetera below.
• 20:40
  So here's what happens when you stop over-functioning, and this is something that I really want you to understand.
• 20:46
  When you stop over-functioning, one of two things will generally happen The first possibility is that you're with a man who genuinely enjoys taking initiative, contributing, and caring for you, and this is great.
• 20:59
  I believe that most women are probably here, especially those of you who are married, those of you who are married who've sent me messages or, um, engaged, most of you are here.
• 21:08
  Most of you married good men.
• 21:09
  They just became more passive over time while you became more masculine over time, uh, to not headbutt so much with you.
• 21:16
  And when you stop jumping in to manage everything, he may have more room in order to express those qualities.
• 21:23
  So what happens is he starts making more decisions, he starts planning things, he starts offering solutions, and you may find that the relationship feels much more balanced because you're no longer fighting for control.
• 21:37
  Now, there is a second possibility.
• 21:39
  Maybe you stop over-functioning and nothing changes So he doesn't plan, he doesn't follow through, he doesn't contribute, he doesn't demonstrate any interest in taking responsibility, and this is where women sometimes panic.
• 21:51
  And they think,"Well, I tried being in my feminine and it didn't work." Now, feminine energy is not a magic trick that turns an unwilling man into a provider.
• 22:00
  Feminine energy does not create a man's character.
• 22:03
  It doesn't change a man.
• 22:04
  All it does is allows you to see his character more And this is incredibly empowering because now you can make decisions based on reality instead of potential, and decisions based on what's actually going on rather than you trying to control and manipulate everything.
• 22:20
  So you can communicate your desires clearly, and then you're gonna decide what you're willing to accept You can also stop pouring energy into dynamics that don't support the kind of relationship that you want.
• 22:31
  Now remember that surrender doesn't mean abandoning your standards.
• 22:34
  It means releasing the illusion that you can control another person's choices.
• 22:39
  It also means believing that most people are capable, and that's a very different kind of power Now the next piece to talk about is that the woman who receives does not chase.
• 22:50
  So there's something beautiful that happens when a woman becomes more secure in her ability to receive.
• 22:56
  She stops trying to prove that she's worthy of effort.
• 22:59
  She stops auditioning for love.
• 23:01
  She stops trying to demonstrate how little she needs and how low maintenance she is She starts allowing people to show her how much they're willing and able to give, not because she's entitled, not because she expects somebody to, else to manage her life, but because she understands that a healthy relationship involves mutual care, contribution, and consideration And if she desires a more traditional masculine and feminine dynamic, which is the one that tends to maintain long-term attraction over time, then she no longer feels the need to apologize for that desire.
• 23:32
  So she can be accomplished and receptive.
• 23:34
  She can be independent and supported.
• 23:36
  She can be soft and discerning.
• 23:38
  She doesn't need to shrink herself in order to make a man feel more masculine, and she doesn't need to carry a man to prove that she's a good woman.
• 23:48
  When she really knows what kind of relationship she wants and she allows people's actions to reveal themselves, then she can decide whether or not she is aligned with them, and then she can make her decision accordingly.
• 24:00
  That's actually feminine confidence, not helplessness, not manipulation, not playing games, just a woman who knows her value and no longer feels compelled to do everything herself So if there's just one thing that I want you to take from this video, it's this: you don't actually have to become less powerful to experience a man's masculine energy.
• 24:22
  You just have to stop confusing your power with your ability to control everything.
• 24:27
  You can be strong and still receive.
• 24:29
  You can have standards and still surrender.
• 24:31
  You can have your own money and still desire a man who takes pride in providing because that's just the character of who he is.
• 24:38
  You can be deeply feminine without giving up your voice, your boundaries, or your standards.
• 24:44
  You can go from over-functioning to allowing.
• 24:47
  You can go from managing to observing.
• 24:49
  You can go from seeing potential to receiving genuine effort.
• 24:53
  And I would love to hear from you in the comments.
• 24:56
  Now I'd love to hear from you in the comments.
• 24:57
  Have you ever realized that you were doing so much in a relationship that you weren't leaving room for the other person to contribute?
• 25:04
  And what happened when you stopped?
• 25:06
  Let's have that conversation.
• 25:08
  And if you're interested in going deeper into feminine embodiment, healing the patterns that keep you in survival mode, and becoming more comfortable receiving love, support, and abundance, then I have two resources for you.
• 25:19
  The first is my Feminine Magnetism Mastery program, which is my introductory program.
• 25:24
  It's only$27, and it gives you, like, the 101 of masculine and feminine dynamics, the mistakes that women make in dating, the psychology of men, and what actually attracts them to women.
• 25:35
  The second resource is I invite you to join us in our live two-day event, the Magnetic Manifestation Portal.
• 25:42
  It's happening December 5th and 6th completely online.
• 25:45
  We will work together to release a lot of these unhealthy patterns that we're gonna leave behind before we go into 2027 so you can become the woman who is able to receive the love that she says that she desires.
• 25:59
  It's on early bird price right now, and when you sign up today, you actually get immediate access to our Magnetic Woman Transformation training, which is the best nervous system regulation training I've ever done.
• 26:10
  Many of you have asked how to retrain your nervous system.
• 26:14
  You've asked about recovering from burnout.
• 26:16
  You've asked about dealing with your anxiety when you start changing the dynamic of the relationship.
• 26:21
  The Magnetic Woman Transformation is, like, the best toolkit to help you through all of that, and you will receive that as a free bonus when you sign up for the Magnetic Manifestation Portal happening December 5th and 6th.
• 26:35
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one.