Latest / Jess Ask / Embracing Your Many Gifts | FT CJ Wade | EP104

Transcript

Embracing Your Many Gifts | FT CJ Wade | EP104 · Jess Ask

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl, Jessica Smith, and you already know
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: For another Do you already know what it is?
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: And then you know it's about to get real to
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: be sure to show your girl the love and like
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: coming subscribe God.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: For another day. Hey, hey, I know we could be
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: another way.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, Well he is he he's seeing, he is,
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: we see it is.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Give him blood. Come on for he the king, yup,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: give him blow, come up for he is the king.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: That's all got all hell King Jesus.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: If y'all ain't been to church in a while, you've
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: been taking them to church. You've been taking them to Churchilllila, Yes.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: I have this one over here.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Are you into it? Yeah?
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: You know what you just enter, you into the safe
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: space where influences candeve Copress have funny, just as the
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: girl just Smith and I am elated.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: That's a good one.
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: That's a good word, because I got my good girl.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: A A doesn't rate, doesn't rate, doesn't rate, doesn't right
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: does A Right?
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I got my camera back.
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: I'm excited, you got my care because I'm trying to
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: learn this stuff.
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, because just could be like,
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: oh my gosh, and I was like, I'm warning to God,
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: I'm getting together. So you know, I get excited. I
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: try to be patient. I've been better with my patience.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I am so grateful the Lord is yet.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Doing the work.
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: Maybe he's consistently working on me.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Because I want to what I can't be back there
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: and up here at the same time.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: So what you're saying, I can't hear you what you're saying.
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: I'm saying I want you to do stuff, and I can't
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: tell you because I be interviewing and communicating and conversing
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: with the people. So the Lord allows you to hear
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: me in the spirit so that we won't be uging.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, thank the Lord, Jesus, thank you.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: Tellos how you doing in the springtime?
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: I am a man were making it. We're pressing yet
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: pressing through. You know, God is good all the time
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: and all the time. God is good, and you know,
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: I'm just glad to be on this side of the
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: dirt and not the other side.
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: Listen, because life for me ain't been no crystal stuff.
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: It's had taxing it MM and bought us and bought us.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I know. That's all I know.
• 3:14
  Speaker 4: Okay, today's guess is silly. Obviously she's silly. But before
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: we get into it, y'all already know what time it is.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: It's come community highlight time.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I think that's gonna stick like that good not ket y'all.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: This community highlight is someone's nearest. There is special to
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: my heart. And y'all know y'all say that every week,
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: but no, really, like I take I don't take it
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: for granted that God puts people in front of my
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: in front of me, but this person has been been
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: a good friend of mine for a long time and
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: she's always supporting everything that we do, and so I
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: just want to just thank her publicly, thank her publicly
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: because she has Definitely she's not just somebody that says, oh,
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: i'mnna pray for you, I'm gonna do it. You know
• 4:06
  Speaker 4: how people be like, oh, I'm broke and he's like, okay,
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna pray for you, But that don't still help
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: my brokeness, like I still need a bill paid or whatever.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: She's the type of person that's like, now, only gonna
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: pray for you, but I'm gonna send you some money
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: so we can get this taken care of. Like I
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: like people like that. If you don't, if all you
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: got is a prayer, cool, because this is what I
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: got today. I got a prayer for the day. Okay,
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: I'm not there in my season where I could pray
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: and give at the same time. However, the people that
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: do have it and don't do it, I want to
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: challenge challenge you there. But she's a person that does that.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: She's also she doesn't She's not the type of person
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: that wants to be seen. But God is really bringing
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: her out in this season, and so you know, you
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: know how that is desiraate when God is bringing you
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: to the forefront and making your voice be made known
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: unto the earth. And baby, she baby, she tackled demons.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: But she's silly. You ain't never heard it's somebody she
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: she's gonna play with the devil. But she as silly
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: as ever. Okay, so I just really appreciate her. This
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: is my dear friend, none other than Amber stepped her
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: out of Piscolcola, Florida. She's not originally from Pencalcola, Florida.
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: She is from Alabama.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: She went to overn But oh God, that.
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: Amber, that hurt, that really hurt the same. We have
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: that joke going on. But she's also a more's godmother.
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, she she loves. She just ticks me the other
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: day saying how's my baby. That's that's how that's how
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: we rock. That's how we rock. So Amber, I just
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: want to say, speak life over you.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: This is the I hear the.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Lord say that this is the season that you deserve.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: You deserve this season because you really managed other seasons
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: very well. And so the glory that you're walking into,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: the grace that you're walking to, the ease hallelujah that
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: you're walking.
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: Into in this season and it seasons to come.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: The enemy will try to play us in our mind
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: at like, oh, this season is temporary. No, this season
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: is gonna be a season of ease, even if things
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: try to come my way. This I got so much peace,
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: I got so much to nacity, I got so much
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: proof in God that this don't FaZe me. And so
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: God is really bringing to a consistent season of ease.
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: And so and that man coming, handy, that man is coming,
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: That man is coming. Hello, husband, you're gonna be like this,
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: just just as hireder.
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: So we're super excited about that.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: We love you here just as y'all give it up
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: for my girl ambus step.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: All right, So.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: That's rights.
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: These are your people, This your person by me, handy listen,
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: and I'm smiling because I feel like this is about
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: to be a silly time.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: It's gonna be good.
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: You know, the sillier they are when they get serious,
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: it'd be deep. So I feel like I don't know
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: my laugh cry, all of it, jump up and down, speaking.
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: Tall, you know what I'm saying, all all of it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: When I when I told you, hold on, I got
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: I got you going, hey hey, when I told you multifaceted,
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: like if multifaceted Kingdom Jesus friend was a person, it
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: would be her because she does she does a lot,
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: but she does a lot for the Kingdom. She's in
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: purpose like and just while she she just it seems
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: like the body of peace.
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: So we're excited to have.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: Our new my new friend.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: There's a raise that my sister, that's her sister, right,
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: I'm excited to get to know the woman of God.
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: We have none other than the beautiful, the fabulous the
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: magnificent CJ.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Way, how are the I'm just peachy.
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: I just love already my smike jeks have not gone.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Down like you do. People tell you that they can't be.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Mad around you with something handshold that yeah, you you're
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: not gonna hurt my face today. Okay, okay, this is
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: not what you're gonna do on just as the podcast
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: got itjt it okay, we're friends heard, okay, okay, but
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: no promises made.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: So when I say how you doing?
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: I want to know, really, how is CJ?
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: That is a wonderful question. CJ is in a producing
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: phase season. In the words of one of my dearest friends,
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: she said that you have sown a lot of seeds,
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: and so now you are in a season of reaping
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: that harvest, but then also producing more seeds from the
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: harvest that you've received. And I was like, you know what,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: that makes sense to me because that's how it feels.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: So it's a stretching outside of comfort zones. And that's
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: what seeds do, right, They break first, And so I
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: don't find it surprising that that's the word that kind
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: of comes in. So every year I pray for one
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: word that helps my year, and God gives it to
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: me like usually in December. And when he gives me
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: that word, literally everything that kind of hands out affirms
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: that one word. And so last year was activate and
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: lift and then this year is expand and like really seeing.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Because God knows my visual learner, He needs his children.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: So he showed me two hands like this and doing this,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: and I said, well, all right, then here we are.
• 9:44
  Speaker 5: That's the response. I get a Lord too. That's so interesting.
• 9:46
  Speaker 4: I don't find a lot of people that ask God
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: for a word for the new year, but I learned
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: it from my best friend Brianca.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: And my word for this year is resurrection. Girl. That's good, girl,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: A girl that's good.
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: But the thing about those words, something comes with those words.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: It's not just that word. What has been yours?
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: Something that has come with that word that you as
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: you've gone throughout this year.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Who shall Okay, well we can first, you know, initially premiere,
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: start whatever words you want to call it. The way
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: this year kicked off, Oh goodness, I thought after producing
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I self produced a dance production last year and it
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: was there was no grants, no anything, just your obedience.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: And I thank God for just showing out, you know,
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: was able to just really empower the dance community and
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: the arts community in Birmingham through that show called Impact
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: casting crew of twenty one people and it was sold
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: out and I'm thinking, well, alright, may see lot and
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: uh no, no, Chief, that's not called of what happened.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: So I'm thinking, okay, well, now let's just kind of
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: turn that dial down and then turn my book writing
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: or turn the other things up right. And I was like, no,
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: You're going to produce another show in February. And I'm like,
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: it's not quite. That's that's not how I wrote this.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: My little journal, my little journal said that January was
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: my little writing time and so Sound is the name
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: of the production. And I mentioned this because it affirmed
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: that word. I expanded my horizons with Sound. I went
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: outside my comfort zone to then say, not so much
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: of what I don't have, but what can I do
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: with what I have? And if I didn't be if
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I wasn't a good steward over what I did have,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: come on, then the harvest is what was going to
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: be affected. And harvest comes in so many different forms.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: It doesn't just come in the form of money. It
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: comes in the form of maybe an abundance of peace,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: you know, abundance of joy, maybe abundance of resources, people, connections, whatever.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: That looks like there's a harvest for that. And here
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: I was listening to what I thought was just gonna
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: be my word of the year, and then I'm good
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: to go, and he's like, no, you're going to produce
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: a show, and this is how I want you to
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: do it. I'm a planner. Des Rea knows that. So
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I'm a planner, like I'm already in twenty twenty six.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: That's that's how my brain works. I love the present,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: but I always plan. And he's like, you're not gonna
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: start rehearsals before January? Okay, okay, all right, I don't
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: want to cast of more than six people and that's
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: including you. Okay, that's cool. The details, the details, I
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: felt like I felt like I was building a temple,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: like no, go get this tree. That's how I really felt.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And so that expand word. I really had to put
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: my feet to the fire and say, okay, either I
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: trust you or I don't. And I can't tell you
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: how many times I came close to canceling that show
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: because I was like, what else are you trying to
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: squeeze out of me? I am but a mere grape?
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: What else I have with them? And that word expand
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: just every time I thought, okay, how he was like expand, expand, stretch, stretch, stretch,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: and the capacity to hold space for people who are
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: usually under value in some way, shape or form in society. Right,
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: the arts is always the one that's having to get donations,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: you know. But you don't get donations for plumbers. Okay,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: you don't get donations for archetecla, you know. So I'm
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: very much a creative advocate. And then also I believe
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: that I'm a conduit for what God wants to see
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: in the world, and so I had to expand, to
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: open up and say what do you want to see
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: manifested here? And through that show, people felt nostalgic. People said,
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, it's been around me with my grandmother.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you for empowering you know, me to call and
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: call this person I hadn't called in a while. It's
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: like it created this harvest within the audience. And it
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: also expanded me to trust in a way I had
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: not trusted in a while and accept help as well.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: So you're reading. You're reading my diary. Get out of
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: my diary.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: No, for real, Like everything that you said was just
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: spot on before I take us to deeper into what
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: you just said, Yeah, to make the connection of the dance,
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: and I wanted can you explain like how you got
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: into the arts, like what brought you there, how long
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: you've been there and what that means to you?
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: And then I want us to go into.
• 15:14
  Speaker 4: Like your your challenge is facing the productions and stuff
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: like just this production.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: But I think you've been doing this.
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: For a long time now, like what's been the most
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: challenging part of it?
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: So?
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Sure? So I've been in the arts for thirty years and.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: You've been the art for thirty years? Is it okay
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: to ask you? It was like, is it okay to
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: ask you?
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: How old you are? Sure? It is okay? How old
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: are you? I am forty three?
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: Okay, so thirteen? Okay, I thought you were. Desiray you're
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: still close. But maybe I guess I just didn't speak
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: the forty things. Okay, So I'm sorry because I talk
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: I talk about it. Desirays so bad.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: She is so old? Oh yeah look kid, now look yeah,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: let me so you've been into arts for thirty years, Yes,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: for thirty years. I started at my church and my
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: church did not have any type of like like a
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: youth program or anything like that. So there was a
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: woman named Minister Eunice Pickens, and she came in like
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: a wrecking ball. You know. It was like all these
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: kids around here in Bessemer shout out First Baptist Church,
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: Carver that, oh my gosh, there were kids everywhere, not
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: just in the church but just in the community. And
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: it was her heart's passion to say, they need not
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: just something to do, but also something enriching. So the
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: arts department was formed at First Baptist Church, Carver, and
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: that allowed an outlet for all of us to get
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: exposed to the arts in a kingdom setting. So then,
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: prior to that, I actually saw a TV show and
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: to this day, I can't tell you what the name
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: of this show was, but it was some sort of
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: step in competition on television. And so my first form
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: of dance was not like ballet or contemporary. It was
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: actually stepping. So I saw it on TV. I thought
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: it was super cool and I was like, they're making
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: music with their whole body. I like that I'm gonna
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: do it. So I was very loud at the house
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: in the living room. Oh yeah, oh yeah, absolutely, stop
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: all this stop. That's it. That was yep, yep. And
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: for someone who was like, you know, shy and quiet
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: to just gravitate tours that I felt like it gave
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: me an opportunity to have a voice where I didn't
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: feel like I had one. And so that was the inlet.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: And then here comes mister Pickens like a year later,
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: and bam. We had flags, we had stepping, we had
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: the Little Boys dance and Sons of Judi, we had
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: liturgical dance. We had oh got mine. You know. She
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: just was like, let's do it. But she also didn't
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: play the radio with us. So you had tutoring an
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: hour before you had to show your progress support. You know,
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: if you were making below c D, like hey, hey, hey,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: hold on, let's get these grades together then you can
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: go ahead in ministon Sunday. You know. She was not
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: playing about that, and I appreciated her discipline. We had
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: to read the word, you know, we had a Bible study,
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: we had the youth choir. So that's really what the
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: air rating of the soil can fast forward in high school,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I was in the marching band. I played piano for
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: churches for my church direct a choir. Fast forward in college,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: same thing, still creative, marching band. Join you at the
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: gospel choir, which is where I met my dear sister.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah you a be gospel quired deep Okay, y'all, the
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: whole family.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Deep, the whole thing, just saying so yeah that for
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Sport College, your be gospel choir. Again. Shout out to
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: the late Bishop Kevin Paul Turner who allowed that seed
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: that mister Pickens planted. And I knew that I was expanding.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Then I actually had to talk with her about it.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I was like, I feel like I just I feel
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: like I'm all over the place. I kept telling her,
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: I love all of these things. I don't just gravitate
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: just to stepping or just a flag like I see this.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: And I was crying and it was like a whole
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: like Nicodemus moment at night, we were in a parking
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: lot and she said, baby, you just gotta cod of
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: many colors. She said, it's okay, and God gonna show
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: you what to do with it. He's gonna show you
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: how to wear it. But don't be afraid of it
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: and don't think it's something wrong with you. And that
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: was a turning point that continued to work with me.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: So then when I met Bishop Turner and then he
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: gives me opportunities to choreograph for the Gospel Quid Dance
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: and Mind Team, and then to go on tour, help
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: the choreograph and coordinate for their tours, the productions, the
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Civil Rights movement, just all of the things. I was
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: the person and I worked with with Ashley, another sister
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: friend of ours. That was a huge moment, like a
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: cooking bowl. Yeah, I knew I loved what I did.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Didn't know necessarily I could do it professionally until college,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: until visual Turner and he was like, no, what you
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: have inside of you, what God gives you, it has
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: to be shared. Now let me show you how this works.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: So I'm sitting in production meetings at the Alice Stephens
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Center with talking about lights and sound and you know,
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: in tech and what's gonna be hanging from the ceiling
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: and so forth and so on. That gave me the
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: roundedness as well. So then fast forward to being able
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: to create workmanship Incorporated. And Workanship Incorporated is a Christian
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: Creative Collective, and so now I have another outlet. This
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: was twenty twelve. Asked these people, Hey, I just want
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: to know, does anyone else kind of feel a little
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: out of place after you have dancing everything and you
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: were a kid, and it's kind of like apparently after
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: eighteen you age out? Okay, right? Yeah. So they were
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: like yeah, me too, and so Workmanship Incorporated was formed
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: in twenty twelve through them, through still working with the
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: UBI Gospel Choir, through working with productions out of town
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: shout out to Monica Read producing actress out in Georgia,
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: just being able to get under her wing, and then
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: also traveling up to Indianapolis with Upon This Rock Productions,
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: which is one of the longest running African American passion
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: plays in the country. He had over forty years up there.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: So as far as my trajectory, I just kept saying
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: yes and just kept saying yes. Well, it was paid, unpaid,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: whether I had to drive, where I was riding. I
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: was just like okay, okay, okay, and I just kept
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: soaking it all in. So then here comes last year
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: where it was time for me to produce my own
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: and I was like, no, that was your first one,
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: my first one doing his bio myself. Yeah, I usually
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: was like producing four not necessarily.
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: Just for you, and that was under the collective.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: No, that was actually just me. Yeah, so I choreographed
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: for the collective, but then like impact with something, I
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: did start to finish by myself, contracted the dancers, you know,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: looked and saw what the budget was, what's the props,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: got the venue, and then applied for a grant. Thank god,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: so we got partially funded, which is great. I can
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: use that this year through the Alabama Dance Council. But
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: just getting plugged in more from an individual producer standpoint, And.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: Did that shock you? Like, how did you feel when
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: God says I need you to do this for you?
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: I needed do you to do this under your name?
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: It didn't shock me, but it did make me feel like, oh, oh,
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: I gotta like grow up, grow up, you know, I'm
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: like I'm used to my friend. That's really how I felt.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: And so I said, okay, you want me to do this,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: like like me, me do this? And so I'm always
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: thinking anyway, my brain's always kind of I tell people
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: it's a carnival up here, so you know, you ask
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: me what I'm thinking any day, I'm like, I was
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: actually about the color blue, and you know, so don't ask.
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: You don't want to know, like you're talking about like
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: like random it is look like CJ is so like
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: she had, She's like a plethora of like knowledge.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: We were going somewhere.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: I think it was going to like a retreat or something,
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: and she's gonna have like some some snack or like
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: something with her.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: So she had these tangerines and she was like, anybody
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: wants a tangerine and we're just like no.
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: She's like, you know, I don't even remember what it was,
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: but it was like, you know, let's say an orangutange,
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: you know, the feeling of the thing, a rangutane.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: She just went on bout.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: This whole national geographic situation and we just looked like,
• 24:02
  Speaker 4: like why do you even know that?
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: She's like it's nerd in me, but it sounds.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: Like you embraced it. Oh yeah, have you always embraced it?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Yes? Okay, will bless you because I am not. I
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: always knew that. I was just like I like to
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I like to understand, you know, the why, and understand
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: the world around me. So I was always reading, like
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: even as a kid, always had a book, piece of
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: paper and a piscil in vaccine to my grandma's car.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: She called it my little house. And so when I
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: went back into a vaccinat yeah, because then when we
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: had to get out the car, she was like, all right,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: get your stuff from your little house and then bring
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: it on in. Yeah, and I would get right, I'm ready,
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Oh no, So yeah, I was always just just like that.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: It just is what it is, and that has not stopped.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I still get National Geographic and I read it.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: Well, this will explain I guess my next question because
• 24:57
  Speaker 4: I have a very much so appreciation for the art.
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: And let me just start by this impact was impactful,
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Like there's one dance that just set it off of me.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: Which one was the one that they were blindfold faith? Ye?
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Faith? Yeah.
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: I sat there and I'm trying to cry now. Yeah,
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: that dance spoke to the depths of my soul.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: You hear me? And I said, how did she know? Wow?
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: That was my question? How did she know that's what
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: I needed?
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: I wasn't even I was then support does Ray because
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I was trying to support does A Ray because does
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: Ray was you know, and she did a great job,
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: but I didn't know I needed to be there, and so.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: I don't think they.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: Sometimes God would make us the forefront of things because
• 26:02
  Speaker 4: other people's ideas would block us from what being obedient
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: rights you did.
• 26:09
  Speaker 5: Let me tell you all this.
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: This lady did a plethoro you had jazz first of all,
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: that blind lady what was her name?
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: Ali?
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: By listen, ma'am, Ali.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Is the truth. Listen.
• 26:23
  Speaker 5: You came straight from the garden of eding.
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: You hear me?
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: That joker right there?
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: Some serious listen and don't care about what y'all at
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: all I.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: Mean.
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: And then Delia was like, I said, well, why folks
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: gotta help us?
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: She I mean she looking at the crowd.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: No baby, she she need help to walk, you know,
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: low vision. And I have a friend that was like
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: that in college, but she operated like girl, don't play
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: with me, living wrong with me.
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: I love them, Oh yeah, they the best at everything.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah everything. They're like what I got to lose?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: So they just go for it.
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: So that right there, I had to just give you
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: your wow, like I had.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: To give you a flowers.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: Like I'm telling y'all now, if y'all in Birmingham and
• 27:16
  Speaker 4: in the States wherever she going on this tour.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: I need for y'all to go because if y'all think y'all.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: Supported her, Yeah, when she goes on this tour, y'all,
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: this got a man, this is gonna be big and
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: it's gonna bless. I just really sense that something broke
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: when I saw that dance, Like, I just something broke
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: on me when I saw that dance. But to my point,
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: I also noticed that you had dancers of all ages,
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: all colors, all sizes, all levels of experience, all genres,
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: and you put it in one production in a space
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: where it's more acceptable because we have free range with
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: productions and showing up like on YouTube and all stuff
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: like that.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: How did you motivate.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: Or bring people together that it just seems like they
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: would not be chosen by the higher end or the
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: higher production type of thing. I don't know if I'm
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: saying that right now, but just like the Juilliards and
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: the New York's and all this stuff like that, how
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: like it seemed like that was the mission, Like what
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: was the experience like to get the people that would
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: normally be told no, Yeah.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, So you're not wrong you know, everyone that dance
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: in that production had some stock, right, it just wasn't
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: the same stock. So you may have had someone who
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: was very verse in ballet but not in hip hop,
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: or someone who was like, I know African dance. I
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: can do that backward and forward, but maybe not quite
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: strong in my contemporary. So I looked at the kaleidoscope
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: of skills and was like, this is still what God
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: looks like. You know, this is his creativity, just in
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: different forms. It should be able to work together. So
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: why can't I have ballet? To Anita Baker, why can't
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I have Esperanza Spalding Like, why can't I? Because it
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: should all work together? And so that's another talk show. However, Comma,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: when it comes to.
• 29:49
  Speaker 5: When it comes to.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: Being motivated, I just let them know my expectations first. Actually,
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: let me back up. First, I prayed, I really did.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: I said, Lord, you're gonna have to tell me who
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: to cast because I know what I see I haven't
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: written down. I already had the songs drafted like almost
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: two years ago, so I already had what I wanted
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: and what I saw what I heard. But I was like, Okay,
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: now you gotta give me the legos, you know, to
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: make this occur. So each time that I looked at
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: the list, I just saw the person and I thought,
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: why can't they be elevated? Why can't they have a
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: solo to where they have a chance to just be
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: able to just breathe into the choreography. So that was
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: number one thing I did. The second thing is I
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: just let them know my expectation. So some people had
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: never worked with before, but I let them know my expectation.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Number one, I don't do drama, period.
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: Can you repeat that for the people in the bed
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: because those things because you got Christians in front of
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: your name or believe or child of God, just bring it.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: I have said, I don't do no problem. So so
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: that was just a non negotiable. That was just a
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: non negotiable. And I had it in an email. I'm
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: just saying, you know that back there, you know, Rookie. Yeah,
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: I put it in an email. I told him verbally,
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: you know. And the good thing is I had again
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: good stock to work with. Either I knew them, knew
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: of them, or it's seen them. So I was like, hey,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: I haven't worked with you before, but I see you
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: and I see you. I would like for you to
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: work with me. Let me, let me work with you
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: and be honored to work with you. You know, I look
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: at choreography like clothing. So I have what I have
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: in my head, but it has to fit you, it
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: has to look good on you. And so like with
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: one of my one of my castmates, Daniel Daniel Hernandez Brenez,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: he was.
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: Amazing about amazing, that's my pat He's so sweet.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you're so sweet. He's originally from Costa Rica,
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: and so even working through some of the language barriers,
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: just being like, what would make you most comfortable? Do
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: I need to have do I need to have a
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: translator here? Sometimes like I want to make sure that
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: you are as comfortable as possible so that way you
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: can allow the breath of this to come out. What
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: will it take? Because that's my job, That's how I
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: look at it. My job is created a safe space,
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: safe space for you to learn and to grow and
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: to create. So I let them know I don't do drama.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: What do I need to do to make sure that
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: you can do this well? Everybody has something to contribute,
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: so I don't care if you are well versed in
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: contemporary modern ballet. You will also respect the African dancers,
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: the liturgical ones. You know what I'm saying. There's no
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: tears here. Everyone has a skill set and a gift
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: that I want to use and so you can learn
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: something from each other. We also checked in with their
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: self care and their wellness. So every rehearsal was like, hey,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: how are you as a person. What do we need
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: to make sure that we respect. Maybe you don't feel
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: like being hugged on today, Okay, give us let us
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: know because we're gonna be together for about three months. Yeah,
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: so let's go ahead and knock this down. And that
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: wasn't hard for them to grasp. I'm grateful for that.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: But I did let them know all of that upfront,
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: and I don't play with that. Anybody not feeling safe
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: and rehearsal, that's a problem for me. And what we
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: rehearse is the energy we're going to give out. Yeah,
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: and what you saw was the manifestation of exactly how
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: they were in rehearsal. They were chummy at rehearsal, you know,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: they were jovial, they were focused. Yeah, they would come in,
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: eat the choreo up watch the videos, come back, do
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: it again, refine all the choreo was learned thirty days prior.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: That's one of my personal goals always. So that way,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: thirty days before the show, they were able to just clean,
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: not necessarily have to download, so just give it enough
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: breathing room. They had rest time, so we didn't do
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: a tech the day before. We did tech before that,
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: two days before that, So the day before the show
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: you have a chance to rest and rest your body.
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: So all of that to me is important. So that
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: way it could produce what you saw, and I wanted
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: to run back really quickly. You talked about faith. That's
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: a special piece. Yeah, it's a special piece. I cried
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: when I saw it up here, and I kept listening
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: to that song over and over again. God blessed the
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: late Andre Crouch, who produced such rich music. Yeah, but
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: that song was playing in my head when I was
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: feeling like I did not even have faith, a shred
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: of faith to hold on to, and I would just
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: listen to that song over and over and over again,
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: and it was resuscitating, and so I would listen to
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: it for me, but I immediately had this like movie
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: real in my head. Yeah, where I can see it,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: and that's how God gives it to me. So fun fact,
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Workmanship Incorporated learned that over zoom. They learned that over
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: zoom during the pandemic. And it's funny because desire can
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: attest to this. When I was like, hey, so we're
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: gonna learn this song, right and it's gonna be They're like, okay,
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: all right, cool bet because we're all in kind of
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: different places, some area codes and codes whatever. Okay, cool, No,
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: but you're also gonna be blindfolded this one. Here. What
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: she saying. The first thing I heard was oh, oh okay,
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: then that's what I remember hearing on the zoom speaker.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: But I was in agreement, but she wasn't. She was like,
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: all right, all.
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: Right, guess what she do the same things, like oh
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: that's what. Oh okay, yeah, that's hallelujah. Yeah.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: They learned that over zoom learn over zoom during the pandemic,
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: and then they performed it. We couldn't even have an
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: audience because you know, everything was at the height of spreading,
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: and so we didn't have an audience. We recorded and
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: just had it kind of in our archives. But I
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: knew it had to come out and I thank God
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: for workmanship going along with with all of my obedience.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: They're just like, Okay, listen, but that's what you saw. Listen.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: You're you're speaking so well that I'm just kind of amazed.
• 36:28
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm looking at a mirror right now,
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: like I really do does a rain. Wow. What I'm
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: hearing you saying the whole time you're talking, there's an
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: apostolic grace that you have.
• 36:45
  Speaker 5: And you probably already heard this, and people really think.
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: And that's why I try to tell our community.
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: Like, just because you might be whatever area you are.
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: In the fivefold teacher, preacher, teacher, past, their evangelist, apostle,
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: what am I missing?
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: Prophet?
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: I missed that, But whatever that may be, you have
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: a lane for that territory. And it's not always church.
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: It's not always church is great. I'm never gonna say anything,
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: you know, regarding church, because Jesus came to die for
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: everybody and for the church to be his bride, Like
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: that's who the bride is, right, and so will never
• 37:31
  Speaker 4: denounce or have issues with the church, however, and I
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: do not want people to be limited to the church.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: That's that I did that for myself and what you're
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: doing is very apostolic, like you're running a whole business
• 37:44
  Speaker 4: and what I hear you, the way you're running it
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: is beautiful because it's really challenging me.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: This is my challenge, CJ.
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: And this is gonna be woman and woman conversation, black
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: woman to black women, just just to keep it a
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: real book.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: I'm with it, okay.
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: So my challenge has been that, Okay, I'm coming to
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: agreement with the apostolic grace that's on my life for
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: the territory that God has for me, right, but navigating
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: with people and them understanding, Okay, this is how this is.
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: If I'm just talking like, does a ray we don't
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: have those rain coming?
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Does a ray?
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: Is the person that, oh you want this done?
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: Okay? Cool?
• 38:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, all right, I'll challenge.
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: Let me challenge you here.
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: I see it this way you okay, us doing it
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: this way, not taking offense to the directive personal personality
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: like this is not We're not gonna do this. I'm
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: not about this. I'm not gonna do but X, Y
• 38:42
  Speaker 4: and Z. I have found mm hm that I have
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: more book and that and maybe it's the territories that
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: I'm in I'm not sure.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: How did you How.
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: Do you have you ever experienced experienced the book? And
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: how do you manage it, especially as a black woman,
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: because we have a rep of oh they're a strong
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: that woman, or they already got attitude, or and I'm
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: about to stick of it, like I feel like I'm
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: trying to cater to everybody, and then now I'm missing
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: the mission.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: Good. Yeah, yeah, I heard I heard it. I heard
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: it right, you know, yeah, yeah, yes, I have experienced
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: that in different ways, in a you know, a corporate
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: setting when I was you know, working quote unquote ninety
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: five yeah, and also in a creative setting in a
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: church setting. You know, I've always felt like I was
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: an advocate in some way, shape or form. I've always
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: felt like that underserved population, somebody being bullied something. So
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I've always felt myself have this kind of justice activation feel.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: The interesting part about how I deal with it now
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: is that I remember that what you think of me
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: and not who I am, that's outside of me. That's
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: outside of me. That's an environment that's not in here.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: And it sounds simple, but it really it really is
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: as a strong harmony that you have to have as
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: you're walking with that cloud of gift and you're walking
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: with it, right, So no matter where you're going, you
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: have that here. But it doesn't mean there's nothing outside
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: that's going to try to make you, you know, go
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: a different direction or whatever that may be. And so
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: for me, it's about saying, what am I here to do?
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: What am I here to do? I know my one job,
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: if I promise you. I know people say this, you
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: know if I die tomorrow, But I really believe that
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: if I die tomorrow, I do not question what my
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: job will us. My job is to create safe spaces
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: for people to learn, heal, and grow. My job is
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: to empower people with the arts and with education through wellness.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: My job is to make sure I show Christ before
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I show myself. My job is to make sure that
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: people feel love, that when they see me, they see Him,
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: they feel Him, even if they can't describe it, even
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: if they can't describe it, even if they are the
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: exact opposite. I've had an atheist come up to me.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: I'll never forget this. I did an atheist come up
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: to me and say he was atheists and racist? Okay,
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: my god, both of them, if both both of them,
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: we were in college. We were in the same class
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: and he stopped me off the class and he goes,
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: we start walking together because we had the same route,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: and so I didn't know, you know, if that he
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: was atheist and race at the time. So he starts
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: talking and he just turns and goes, you know what,
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: I don't like black people, but I like you. Oh wow, okay,
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: then you know what else do you do with that?
• 42:16
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, then you you want to go to the cab.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know, Like, even if I can't explain it,
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: you have to acknowledge that there's something about me that
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: has touched you. Yeah, And that is my one job.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: That's my one job. So even when it comes to
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: staying on the path and seeing a different direction or
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: one a different direction, I'm like, what am I here
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: to do? What am I here to do? And for me,
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: whether it's impact, whether it's my massage practice, my wellness workshops,
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: whether it's volunteering, whatever, that is what am I here
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: to do? And then also when I wake up in
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: the morning, I always ask where do I need to be?
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Just where I want to be every morning? Where do
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: I need to be? Is that how you manage being multifaceted.
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: Yes, okay, because you just said about threefold more things
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: you do and some more. Okay, yeah, yeah, like I
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: told you, multifaceted, Jesus friend, Jesus give his friends.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: All was very colorful, very color coded. So so and all.
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: I hope I answered your question.
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: You did answer my question. No, girl, you're answering more than.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: Questions right now. I can't wait till this recording.
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: Give me the ma lips I feel. I was sitting
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: here and I'm listening to you, and I don't know
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: if you ever heard this before, and I don't believe.
• 43:59
  Speaker 5: Let me be very friends for my church people. That's
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: listening to me.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: It's not me.
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: Saying that she has a spirit or a you know,
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: the spirit, or trying to do some witchcraft type stuff
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: on her. This is very much so a compliment. So
• 44:15
  Speaker 4: hold your penis.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Tight, all right.
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: I was sitting here and all I could just hear
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: is like the wisdom of my Angelo. Mmm.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: And when we all know.
• 44:31
  Speaker 4: What majority of us know, man Angelo, if you don't
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: please prayse google. Okay, at this moment, she embodied, and
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: you know what interesting it is. I haven't done a
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: lot of study on it, my angel. This is how
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: I know this guy, because I'm getting word of knowledge
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: right now that she was appreciative of the art. She
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: wasn't just a poet. She just wanted to writer. She
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: danced a little bit from my understanding, and I don't
• 44:58
  Speaker 4: know if you're an author. Okay, wow, I just I
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: just I felt feel like the what she embody is
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: just on you, like the respect. I can just see
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: people at your feet, just like, Okay, let me. I
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: need to go to her. I need to go her seminars,
• 45:17
  Speaker 4: I need to go to her class, I need to
• 45:18
  Speaker 4: go to wherever she is. Because once I get the impartation,
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm being in party in right now.
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: Like I just feel like I'm not a dancer. I
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: might break out and I love it.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: That's perfect, It's perfect. That's it. Let me give it
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: to the people. Get it to them.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: Servant, servant. Oh okay, I love it. Don't play with it.
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: Because I was a.
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: Praise dancel, I knew.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: I was like, these moves are not.
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: The choreographic. I thought she was gonna say power ranger.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: Why why because the mood I was like, that's because
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: she looked like that's what it's. But no, I've just
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: seen here, like man, like the honor that it is
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: to have you on this platform, and the places that
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: you're about to go, like eyes have not seen, ears
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: have not heard, eyes have not seen, ears have not heard.
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: I'm even seeing Africa right now, like the places she
• 46:22
  Speaker 4: shall go. Oh my gosh. So I'm really I'm really excited,
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: and so I just wonder, like, what do you do
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: for you?
• 46:32
  Speaker 5: Like it seems like you do so much for so
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: many people.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: What do you do for her shirt? Re her shirt?
• 46:39
  Speaker 5: My self care is non negotiable.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right, listen, we can, we can.
• 46:47
  Speaker 5: It's the face for me, I've learned. I'm learned more
• 46:50
  Speaker 5: right now, I'm like, oh, what's she gonna say? I
• 46:53
  Speaker 5: can't wait for her to say something right.
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: Here, Like I feel like I bet the Willie Walker
• 47:06
  Speaker 4: right now trying to the price we're gonna have to
• 47:13
  Speaker 4: go to Dino Stow because they couldn't know.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: We're like, we'll be right, But how do how does C. J.
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: Wade take care of for every day? Every day? I'll
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: do it kind of a bullet pointing fashion. I do
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: not wake up for him every morning and pray outside
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: on a dick. I don't there's nothing wrong with that
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: at all. Again, those under rugs you were you were clutching,
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: just keep clutching them, don't come for me. Do what
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: you do, you know, do what you do again. I
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: believe God knows all his children. He knows I like
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: sleep a lot. I love naps a lot. So when
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: there's a season where I have a word for from him,
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: yes I'll be up. But he just he just knows.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: And so I'm usually, you know, a sleeping for. When
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: I wake up, I am. I always start with something
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: I'm grateful for. And I used to think that was
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: super cheesy back in the day, but it really does help,
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: you know. It helps to make sure I stay focused. Again,
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: what do I have? Not what I don't have? What
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: do I have? The fact that I'm here at the
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: age I am means I have something. I made it
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: to this point. So what do I have? And it
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: could be something simple like ooh, it's not like coming
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: through the window. I feels really good and I just
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: move on, you know, So I pray, Okay, gratitude that
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: to me is self care as well. Make sure I
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: tend to me, you know, before I pour out. I
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: take my showers at night. For me, I wash off
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: the day. Now do I take a shower in the
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: morning if I need too? Sure?
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: But of course you can.
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: Roll up your underwear this point. I know you was clutching.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Just roll on so that way they you know, you
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: got a good girl grip. So yeah, But I take
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: my shower at night, like that's that's my part of
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: my nightly ritual. I take my shower at night. I pray,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: I meditate, I stretch at night before I go to bed.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: I massage my feet before I go to bed. Every night.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: It's a way of just being reminded that I'm gone
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: wherever I've gone, you know that day. It's just a
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: matter of just like recentering, you know, myself, and being grateful,
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: you know, to be like a thank you Lord for
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: you for me being able to have groceries. I appreciate it,
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, okay, well, thank you Lord. You
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: know that lady at the at the grocery store, she
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: seemed to be hurting, but I think you spoke to
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: her today. Okay, I appreciate it, all right. It's just
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: it's not that's what I'm looking for. I don't make
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: it complicated, you know, I just I make sure I
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: keep it consistent for me. Yes, I do get massages,
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: people like you're besides there for g massages. Yes, I do.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: But that's not the only way that I do self care.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: I like to walk through the garden, the botanical gardens
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: or Aldridge. I love nature, my nature girl. So I
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: love the fact that God knows that about me. And
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: so as I'm walking through the gardens, that's where I
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: get most of my downloads. I I do small things
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: that will make me kind of recenter, Like right now,
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: shout out to my mom. She's amazing. I need to
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: roll some quarters. She gave me a big six hundred
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: dollars worth of quarters. Baby, she gave me a lot
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: of quarters for after the show. You know how mom
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: was do. They'd be like, hey, I need your keys
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: because I got some put in your cars, like okay,
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: And she gave you six hundred dollars quarters and then
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: gave me a ledger because my mom's dope like that.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: So she texted me a ledger of how she had
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: started saving these quarters in September and how much was
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: each date and that that's love. Man, You know, that's love,
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: she said. I asked God, and some.
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: People want to be because a lot of us with
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: I'm like, ma, thank you his quarter?
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: What am I supposed to do? And you said, I'm
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: gonna roll these quarters? That's right, every last one. I'm
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: roll them. And as I as I roll the quarters,
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be like, thank you Jesus. That's gas, Thank
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: you Lord. I appreciate it. That's groceries, Thank you Lord.
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: That's one of my massages I can get for myself,
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: you know, after you know, you dance, the producing part
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: of it. I gotta teach all this stuff. So my
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: about this, you know, moving a bit that I may
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: also have to have, you know, an elbow in someone's
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: you know, glue particular day or whatever it is. So yeah,
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, well, thank you Jesus. Okay, I can
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: pay that out and pay a little more on that bill,
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: Thank you Lord. Absolutely, And I'm gonna it's gonna be
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: a thing for me again, Nerdy, Yes, true, But to
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: me that's self care too. What am I doing to
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: make sure that I remember who I am? Not what
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: I do, but who I am who I am? It
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: negates anything when somebody thinks I am, period, and I
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: don't allow that gate, you know, to just go in
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: and out like that until I say it needs to.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: So that's how if it's a workshop, if it's a
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: dance rehearsal, if it's oh gosh, what else did I do?
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: I did a writing workshop with C. J. Wright about
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: writing and self care. So regardless of what it is,
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: it pours out of me knowing exactly who I am
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: and why I'm here, and then it goes out. That's
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: the only gate that's it. All the other ones it
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: doesn't matter. Set my job to make sure that you
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: know exactly the why behind all of this. It's not
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: so that's how I take care of myself. I make
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: sure that I make sure I don't wait for something
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: to happen before I take care of myself. Like I'm
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: not rewarding. It's not something I got to work towards.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: It's something I do so that way I can do
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: what I love to do. It's a requirement. If I don't,
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: I can't do what I'm called on this earth to do,
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: then I'm held in contempt for not being a good
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: steward over the vessel that He's given me. So I
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: don't wait and be like, ooh, well I got it.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: I win it four weeks from now. I'm gonna today,
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I'm going to sit here and eat my salad outside
• 53:46
  Speaker 2: and listen to birds. Or I'm gonna go to the
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: library and I'm gonna check out a book. I mean,
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: I finish the book. If I want to check out
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: a book at the library. Which library do I want
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: to go to today? Oh? I want to go to
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: this one because I like miss oh and so she's
• 53:57
  Speaker 2: real sweet. I'm gonna go with to this one. To me,
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: all of those things are self care, every last one
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: of them. And when we start doing that more, then
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: we'll be able to actually do the things we love
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: and not feel like it's just out pouring. It's really
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: coming from a place of being overflowing. And then say, okay,
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: well now yeah I got rehearsal. So can I dig deep?
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can dig deep. I have a survival mode
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: like everybody has one, but I don't live there. I
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: don't live there. Yep mm hmm yep.
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: No like no line, no line, no line like the
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: part that just I don't know if you played attention
• 54:48
  Speaker 4: to what part that I sit back on does ray
• 54:53
  Speaker 4: Since you want to which part that I sent back on,
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: then there's a ray you tell us, no, we're part
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: I set back on. It was kind of close to
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: the end, I think when she was mentioning that it's
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: not a would you say, like, it's not a reward
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: of rewards requirement like doing those those small Like yesterday,
• 55:15
  Speaker 4: I sat outside, I made a salad. It's like two
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: it's like three four o'clock in the afternoon, and I
• 55:20
  Speaker 4: sat on the front porch because the sun sets.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: On that side, so I knew if I sat on
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: the back what the deck was. It was a shade.
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: And I was like, Lord, I want to see in
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: the sun today. And I hadn't been outside and I
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: love being outside and I hadn't been outside. So I
• 55:30
  Speaker 4: sat outside on the steps and ate my salad in
• 55:32
  Speaker 4: the sun, listened to the bees. Why the bees out
• 55:36
  Speaker 4: right now, I don't know, but the bees was out,
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: and I was just like, man, this.
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: Is this is nice. Yeah, this is nice.
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: And it was just and it was maybe thirty minutes,
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. But those types of moments,
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: The Lord has really been working with me on what
• 55:55
  Speaker 4: rests looked like what working looks like. Because in my mind,
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: I said, Lord, the Bible say a man that don't
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: work on me?
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: That what it's safe.
• 56:04
  Speaker 4: So when you grow up in a space where that's
• 56:07
  Speaker 4: all you see is your mom get up in the morning,
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: she go to work, she come home, she working, she working,
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: That's that's kind of what my space is being. So
• 56:13
  Speaker 4: in this season where I'm having to learn God in
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: the whole another way, one of those pieces is self care,
• 56:20
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying and being okay with that
• 56:22
  Speaker 4: because for a moment, like I felt like when I've
• 56:25
  Speaker 4: had me and Jessica being pretty transparent about you know,
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: kind of like where we are in the season, and
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: so financially, the things that I would normally do have done,
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: you know, to make sure I'm good. It's been a
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: real resistance to do those things. So when I'm having
• 56:38
  Speaker 4: conversations with other people who's been in those who are
• 56:40
  Speaker 4: in those spaces, they like, girl, I got to get it.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: I got this side.
• 56:43
  Speaker 4: Hustle going on, got this side hustle going on. And
• 56:44
  Speaker 4: I'm like, so He's like, no, I just want you
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: to go make sure it. Go make it salad and
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: sit out on the front porch in the sun today. Yeah,
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: And so this morning I woke up and I was like, man, Lord,
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: yesterday it was a good day. Yeah, yesterday I didn't
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: do all the things that I thought that I was
• 57:05
  Speaker 4: I should have done, you know, to be productive. But
• 57:08
  Speaker 4: I really enjoyed those and and I watched they while
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: I was sitting out there, I was listening to a
• 57:11
  Speaker 4: podcast video on this lady who had business meetings with God.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: So I said, absolutely, this evening, I'm gonna have a
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: me and God. We're gonna Yea.
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: I got questions, Okay, I got a lot of questions,
• 57:25
  Speaker 4: but that just came from like and just watching you
• 57:28
  Speaker 4: and just listening in the Holy spirit, just like really
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: being intentional about the things that you need to refuel
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: yourself so that you're so we're not always constantly pouring
• 57:39
  Speaker 4: from an empty space.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: You know, that's where a burnout and all those things come.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: So I love that.
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: So you So you tell us, Jessica while you sat back,
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: exactly that the reward, the reward versus the requirement. Yeah,
• 57:55
  Speaker 4: Like I have to feel like I.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: Earned a break. Mm hmmm, mm hmmm.
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: I feel like I have to earn Yeah, self care
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: and that's just kind of like, I don't know. I
• 58:16
  Speaker 4: feel like I have to work for all this stuff,
• 58:19
  Speaker 4: and m hmm. It's a place where by the time
• 58:24
  Speaker 4: i'm burnt out, I'm like, okay, just give me time,
• 58:28
  Speaker 4: give me space, and I'm isolating myself and.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: All this stuff.
• 58:32
  Speaker 4: While y'all were talking, what came up is there's I've
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: been asked, you know, or what do you want to eat?
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: That's the statement that can't with like what do you
• 58:43
  Speaker 4: want to eat today? Or what do you want to
• 58:44
  Speaker 4: eat today? Or what do you want to go for dinner?
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: And typically I say it don't matter, it don't it
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: don't matter. We can go anywhere, or we can eat anything,
• 58:57
  Speaker 4: or no matter who I'm with, like it could be
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: you can like I'm more so unless I won't miss it.
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: If I'm in, that's.
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: Not the only last if it's been too long, because
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: I think I'm Hispanic and I'm not gonna lie.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: I think I'm somewhere.
• 59:16
  Speaker 5: I love that.
• 59:18
  Speaker 4: I love that food, and so but I heard the
• 59:23
  Speaker 4: Holy Spirit say, is it's not that you don't know?
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: Is that two things?
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: You either don't think that you deserve what you want
• 59:31
  Speaker 4: or you don't think you're gonna get it. And I
• 59:37
  Speaker 4: think that's a place to be, to heal and to
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: be purposeful in self care of nothing else that I'm
• 59:43
  Speaker 4: teaching myself. I deserve to care for me, no matter
• 59:48
  Speaker 4: how small or how big it is. So when you
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: said the reward versus the requirement, I'm required to take
• 59:57
  Speaker 4: care of myself. It's not a reward to take myself.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: So that just adjusted my.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Seeing. Absolutely may I give you something else with wellness coaching.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: One of the hardest things to do is to sometimes
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: convince someone that the wellness coaching is something that could
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: be helpful. We're used to doing self care only tangible things, right,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: And so I say all that to say as part
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: of the wellness of you, I admonish you to also
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: remember that your father thinks you're worthy enough to take
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: care of. So if he tends to you like the amazing,
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: wonderful flower that you are, but then he also makes
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: sure that you're strong enough like a tree to be
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: able to not break, then you are absolutely worthy of
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: having that self care be a regular thing. So it's
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: like if he's all encompassing, right, but he still remembers
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: to give you just enough sunshine just enough wind, just
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: enough rain, encouraging text message, or you know, if he
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: cares enough to micro, then being like him, we must
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: do the same. He tends to all of this as
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: his garden, the earth, the people right, the earth is
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: the Lord's, the fullness thereof. But we say that, but
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: I look at that, not but I look at that
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: to say, wow, you tend to all these different kind
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: of plants, people, plants, you know, real plants. You tend
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: to all these pans, you know what all of them need.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: My job to make sure that I do the same thing.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: If I say, I'm like you, yeah, to what this
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: garden needs, that's my requirement. That's what I'm entitled and
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: empowered to do. Adam's first job was about tending. It
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: was tending, and then it was also naming the animals,
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: so he had authority, but he also had to take
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: care of And then how cool was it that all
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: the stuff that he needed was around him? And then
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: Eve all the things she had that she needed was
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: around her. So then fast forward, no wonder we feel
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: as if we're depleted and dry. We are. We are dry,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: and God keeps saying I will give you rest, and
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: rest is fuel why else would I have Elijah, Hey,
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: go to bed and then rise and eat. Okay, go
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: to bed, now, rise and eat. And when he did
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: that twice, he was able to run way longer than
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 2: a two day thing. I mean he was able to go.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: And this wasn't him wearing no nikes, this mug kicking dirt,
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: you know. And I looked at that and I said, okay,
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 2: that's he said. He told me, he said, I want
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: you to tell my people that their their wellness is
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: how the enemy is going to take them out. So
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: now if I don't take care of me, I'm helping
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: the enemy take me out. I'm a partner. I'm a partner.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: Why am I gonna help you take me out the game?
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: If everything in me keeps saying, you know that needs
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: some more sleep. I don't take massages massage clients before
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: seven o'clock in the morning. That's a personal preference of mind,
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: not that I can't m M why because for me
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: that time period, I know my body feels better, my
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: mind is better. If I see you after, Can I
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: do it? Sure? Should I do it?
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 4: No?
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: I take tech breaks. I say, okay from this out
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: of this hour, I'm not checking email. I need a minute.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: I'm like a computer. Sometimes I'm processing to buffering, so
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: I need a tech break. My eyes need to see
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: something other than right here. My eyes need to look up.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: Let me notice that there are different kind of trees,
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: just something. And in doing so, now I'm creating a hedge.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 2: Come on, God, now I'm creating a hedge of protection.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: And it just keeps building to when I doesn't matter
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: what the outside is trying to. You can't go past
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 2: his head here, it's not happening. I'm rested, I'm developed,
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: and I'm ready. This is your friend, that's my sister.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 5: Do I need to even ask her the question?
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: DESI rate?
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, I but like myself, God, thank you, thank you.
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 4: Let me get to this last question because the traditionally.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: We asked what post happened?
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 5: You said so much good? God is good and I
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 5: trust Holy Spirit, I trust the Lord.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 4: And we didn't know what was talking about. I was
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 4: telling her, I was like, you need to give me
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 4: some on.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 5: Her because I don't know nothing.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 2: I don't know anything like.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 4: This your friend, Ike saying this your I know who
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 4: she is?
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: Your friend? She was like, nope, that's what she does
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: real strong.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: No. She was like, no, no, she trust hold the
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 4: spirit in me, like so well, but she trusts hold
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 4: the spirit so much in you. I was like, okay,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 4: well I don't know her, but I trust you. So
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 4: I just knowed the dance.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: I know the.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 5: I feel like we have to bring you back on.
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, We're definitely.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 5: Gonna have to bring you back on because this is
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 5: so needed.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 4: And when we have moments to where we have questions
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 4: like how do we take care of ourselves?
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 5: Like I think, yeah, we're gonna.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: Have to call you back.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 4: But traditionally, we end the podcast by allowing our guests
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: to say their final thoughts if there was anything left
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 4: unsaid or that you want to make sure that we
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 4: leave with before we close this out the floor, it's yours.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, wow, hmmm. Well I will say this for
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: the sake of the people that support what I do.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: I want to start there and tell you thank you.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful. Thank you for looking at what I
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: do and seeing the heart and the intention of what
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: I do. I'm very grateful for that. I'm just somebody
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: that if God tell me and do something, I'm going
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 2: to do it. I'm just gonna he he knows. I mean,
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: I may be kicking and screaming maybe like two of
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: the two of the fifty days, you know it's there,
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: but I'm going to do it. And after I do it,
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: I believe that it is going to do what it's
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: supposed to be, what's supposed to happen. So I want
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: to tell you thank you for being part of my obedience.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that you partner with me because you trust
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: that I'm a good steward over what God tells me
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 2: to do. And I appreciate that. So I want to
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: start there and let you know that the show that
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: they were referencing impact We are coming again in June,
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 2: so get ready for that. And I did that. I
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: want to say that because on behalf of the cast
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: and crew, they receive the ticket profits. The ticket profits
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: are divided equally among them, and so it's a way
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: of supporting dance pay equity as well as highlighting Black
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: Music Month. So no one there's paid below men on
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: wage and you can support by getting a ticket, even
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 2: if you are not able to be there. It's all
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: a support ticket. So I'm saying that on their behalf
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 2: because I know that will benefit benefit everyone so let's
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: say that first. In terms of anything else, I just
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: want to tell you to make sure that you be
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: the healthiest version of yourself. You. It's my business mantra,
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: but it's also something that God had to reveal to me,
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: reveal to me three years ago. You deserve a healthy
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: You deserve a healthy You don't deserve to be in
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: aches and pains every day and that be normalized. You
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: don't deserve to be in relationships that are completely depleting
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: you and then say, oh, well, that's just how they are.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: You don't deserve to have a job that you hate
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: going to every day and you feel like lead getting
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: out of your car. All these things are things we
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: just accept. They are not your normal. Your normal is
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: feeling joy. It's about feeling peace and love within your spirit.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: And God gives you that opportunity every single day, every day,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: even it's five minutes, turn on your favorite song and dance.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: You know you're not gonna be on shouting my de
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: Apollo tomorrow, you know, just just allow yourself to feel
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: uninhibited before your father and just enjoy this life and
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: this earth that you have been gifted. That's what you deserve,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: and you know what joy feels like. That's another lie
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: from the enemy too, that well, why don't I just
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: don't that's just there's always happy, that's just them. No,
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: that's not true. Everyone. I believe every single person knows
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: what joy feels like because as a baby, we laughed.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: Even if now we don't know what we were laughing about,
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: we laughed, and at some point, within some trajectory of
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: your life, you have laughed again and had some feeling
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: of oh that was good. Oh that's good. So you
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: know what that feels like. And so even if you're
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: not quote unquote happy all the time, you have an
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 2: opportunity to still tap into what your spirit knows and
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: don't let the enemy make you feel like you don't.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: Your normal is not stressed out and it's not depleted.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: You deserve to have a healthy version of yourself so
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 2: that way everyone around you can eat from that tree.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 4: On that note, jee us, I'm gonna have to rethink
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 4: my life. Oh god, it's for the better though, Yeah,
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 4: like she clings like she she for show for shure
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 4: c J.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna play with you.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 4: Leave the woman a god, but for somebody that when
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 4: people bring peace with.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: Them, I don't.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: I don't because that's something I feel like area I
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 4: struggle in, like just knowing my where my peace resides,
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 4: and when folks bring it with them, I know they
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 4: send by God handed. Because I just this last hour
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 4: we've been talking, I was just felt at peace and
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 4: oh girl, this cannot be your last time on the
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 4: on the platform.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: By she almost.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 4: I really want to invite her when we started doing
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: us uh the safe space.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, so we gotta keep that in mind because oh child.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 5: But anyway, y'all, I'm gonna get this all.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 2: This was for y'all.
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 5: I probably got something for me after this, so I'm gonna.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: Get my all. I'm gonna sell care. That's right. J.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much for your poor Uh this was
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 4: more than amazing.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: There's a ray you did a good job. You did job.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 5: I think you're learning well. I think you're teaching you well.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: With the guests.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 4: You know, it was all it's all holy spirit and
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 4: all about timing. It is it is, and so we
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 4: pray that this was a good time for you to
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 4: hear what c J said and really taking I just
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 4: I hope you took notes.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna watch this and take notes. Again and just
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: say okay, remember go outside, go.
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 4: Look at the birds today, which is good, and so
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 4: I thank I thank God for this moment, and thank
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 4: God for trusting us with this moment. But until next week,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 4: until next time, remember light could be much more simple
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 4: if you just ask.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode. Since
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 1: you've made it this far, you might as well connect
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: with us on all.
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: Social media platforms at the Jessica S. Smith.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: I know I won't see you back until next week,
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 1: but until then, remember to.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 5: Love always yourself and always thank.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: Thank God for one another day. Thank hey, I know
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 3: we could be another way. Thank pray, thank God for
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 3: another day. Hey hey, I'm just thankful another day. Hey hey,
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 3: another day? Oh, another day wise, another day to get
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: it right, another day to rise up, another day living,
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: another day we loved ones. I always remember hold it
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 3: down for a ball one yep