Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: BigXThaPlug Talks ‘Better Over Time,’ Dealing With Fame, Depression, Losing Friends.

Transcript

INTERVIEW: BigXThaPlug Talks ‘Better Over Time,’ Dealing With Fame, Depression, Losing Friends. · The Breakfast Club

0:00
Speaker 1: Hold up.
0:01
Speaker 2: Every day I wake up.
0:03
Speaker 3: Wake your ass up. The Breakfast Club.
0:05
Speaker 2: Y'all finished or y'all done?
0:08
Speaker 3: Morning, everybody.
0:09
Speaker 1: It's DJ Envy, Just Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God.
0:13
Speaker 2: We are The Breakfast Club.
0:14
Speaker 4: Lonely Rose is here as well.
0:15
Speaker 2: We got a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed.
0:18
Speaker 2: Big extra plug.
0:19
Speaker 3: He's back. How you feeling, brother? What's up? I can't complain.
0:21
Speaker 2: I can't complain at all. How about y'all? I'm blessed
0:24
Speaker 2: black and highly favored, man.
0:25
Speaker 3: I feel that.
0:26
Speaker 2: I've been watching the interviews that you've been doing, man,
0:28
Speaker 2: listening to the album. And the only thing I keep
0:30
Speaker 2: thinking is like, man, it's like the success you've been
0:33
Speaker 2: praying for finally came, but it doesn't feel like it
0:36
Speaker 2: fixed everything you thought it would.
0:39
Speaker 3: I mean, no, it fixed everything I thought it was
0:41
Speaker 3: going to fix. Financially, it has.
0:43
Speaker 2: Financially, but not.
0:44
Speaker 3: The other stuff. Yeah, no, that wasn't stuff that we
0:47
Speaker 3: was thinking about, though. You know, we thinking about just providing,
0:49
Speaker 3: so we're able to do that.
0:50
Speaker 2: What was the most difficult part, then?
0:52
Speaker 3: About what? What it didn't fix. I mean, life. But
0:57
Speaker 3: at the end of the day, life on life. Nothing
1:00
Speaker 3: can stop that. That's where I'm at a realization. That's
1:03
Speaker 3: where I realized that life on life. Try not to
1:06
Speaker 3: trip about it. Just keep moving.
1:07
Speaker 5: On the song, I finally get it.
1:09
Speaker 6: It's like that. It's like you are like, okay, I understand.
1:12
Speaker 6: I see the chessboard now. What was that the first
1:15
Speaker 6: time where you had to sit back and be like, oh, okay. Like,
1:19
Speaker 6: I can't do this.
1:20
Speaker 5: For this person. I can't.
1:25
Speaker 3: Really, just kind of like recently, you know what I'm saying?
1:27
Speaker 3: Just sitting back, realizing, like, you know, just me being
1:33
Speaker 3: in the situation that I am within myself and just
1:35
Speaker 3: seeing that people still asking, people still doing, people still,
1:39
Speaker 3: and ain't nobody really, you know what I'm saying? So
1:41
Speaker 3: I just, hey, everybody's life is going to keep going.
1:45
Speaker 3: It's just like when you're in jail. You're in jail,
1:48
Speaker 3: but everybody else's life is still going. Yeah. So I'm
1:50
Speaker 3: in the situation I'm in, but everybody else's life's still going.
1:53
Speaker 3: Life is going to keep going, so I can't, you know, yeah.
1:56
Speaker 2: These are the people you're talking about, the people that
1:58
Speaker 2: you even have living around you? Because I saw you
2:00
Speaker 2: say that you bought this whole compound.
2:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it's people around me, people that I'm
2:05
Speaker 3: trying to, you know, it's everybody's life.
2:09
Speaker 1: The last time you were up here, you said you
2:11
Speaker 1: bought a, like Charlamagne said, a compound.
2:12
Speaker 3: Where you had everybody there, right? Yeah.
2:14
Speaker 1: But that can get overwhelming, too, because now you don't
2:17
Speaker 1: have that space to breathe.
2:18
Speaker 3: It's everybody's continue to ask. I got the house. I
2:21
Speaker 3: just bought the land to start the compound. Oh, okay. Yeah,
2:25
Speaker 3: but I got a house out. Every woman in my
2:28
Speaker 3: life staying there, my mama, my granny, my sisters. But
2:31
Speaker 3: now it's like I'm getting them calls from my auntie
2:35
Speaker 3: and my cousins on both sides. You know what I'm saying?
2:38
Speaker 3: So just, you know, try to eliminate those extra calls,
2:41
Speaker 3: that extra stress, and just put everybody on the same land.
2:44
Speaker 3: Now you can't really call me about too much.
2:46
Speaker 2: Does that put a lot more pressure on you?
2:49
Speaker 3: But it's much pressure that I feel like it'll put
2:50
Speaker 3: on me to take off a lot, too. Because it's like,
2:53
Speaker 3: instead of paying the mortgage, I'm already doing everything, so
2:57
Speaker 3: we ain't really got to worry about those calls.
3:00
Speaker 4: Who do you talk to about that? Who do you
3:02
Speaker 4: go to?
3:02
Speaker 7: You're the provider for everybody, but who provides you with peace?
3:07
Speaker 2: Who's the plugs for?
3:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, who, yeah.
3:11
Speaker 3: My peace just really comes from being around stuff that
3:15
Speaker 3: I was around before I was famous. So that's why
3:18
Speaker 3: you're going to see my same friends from before I
3:20
Speaker 3: was rapping. You're going to see just everything that I
3:23
Speaker 3: indulge in, it's always the same as before I was rapping.
3:26
Speaker 3: Because that's what makes me feel, I guess, more comfortable.
3:30
Speaker 3: As far as a woman, I never really get to
3:34
Speaker 3: give my all to another woman because I don't trust.
3:37
Speaker 3: As far as a new friend, I didn't try that.
3:39
Speaker 3: I never have no more new friends. I don't even
3:41
Speaker 3: have friends no more. Anybody that you see around me,
3:43
Speaker 3: I don't call them my friend. I don't know how
3:45
Speaker 3: to talk to me. You my brother or you my
3:47
Speaker 3: sister or you my, you know what I'm saying? You
3:48
Speaker 3: family now. It's family. So, because, yeah, friends, new people,
3:52
Speaker 3: people that wasn't there before, they don't understand what you
3:55
Speaker 3: had to do to get here. So it's easy for
3:56
Speaker 3: them to fuck you over. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah,
3:59
Speaker 3: everybody now, it's just family.
4:01
Speaker 2: Yeah. So you got trust issues with women? Why?
4:05
Speaker 3: With everybody. I had it before just because of the
4:08
Speaker 3: lifestyle I was living, but it's like now it's different
4:11
Speaker 3: because it's, Back then, I know when somebody's a threat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4:17
Speaker 3: Now I don't know. Word up. And so I can't even...
4:19
Speaker 3: You're coming in differently. Exactly. And I can't even approach
4:22
Speaker 3: it how I would normally approach it to avoid them
4:25
Speaker 3: even being that or not because of who I am.
4:28
Speaker 3: So I can't just press the issue. I got to
4:30
Speaker 3: wait until they do whatever they do to... You know
4:33
Speaker 3: what I'm saying?
4:33
Speaker 1: So are you having fun with it now or is
4:35
Speaker 1: it more stressful?
4:39
Speaker 2: Damn, it's more stressful.
4:40
Speaker 3: Yeah. But, you know, we try to make it as
4:43
Speaker 3: fun as we can make it though. You know what
4:45
Speaker 3: I'm saying?
4:46
Speaker 2: Yeah. You named it better over time.
4:48
Speaker 3: That's the name of the album. Yeah.
4:49
Speaker 2: So what's gotten better besides the music and the money?
4:54
Speaker 3: The music, the money.
4:55
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? What's gotten better besides that?
4:57
Speaker 3: Man, just, I mean, everybody around me, from my cousins
5:02
Speaker 3: to just my team, my family, everybody is in the way.
5:05
Speaker 3: I just bought my granny a new Cadillac CT5, whatever. Mm-hmm.
5:11
Speaker 3: And she just told me I've never had a car
5:14
Speaker 3: with a button.
5:15
Speaker 6: Wow.
5:16
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? She just told me I've
5:19
Speaker 3: been alive almost 60-something years, and I've never had to
5:23
Speaker 3: wake up and not worry about how I was going
5:25
Speaker 3: to pay a bill. Mm-hmm. Now she can do that.
5:27
Speaker 3: That's a blessing. So that's the better of it all.
5:30
Speaker 6: I saw you say sometimes they still go work or
5:33
Speaker 6: go do things.
5:33
Speaker 5: You don't even got to do that.
5:35
Speaker 3: My granny, that's just what she know. She don't even
5:37
Speaker 3: like me calling her granny or grandma. We got to
5:39
Speaker 3: call her ma because she feel like, I'm not no grandma.
5:42
Speaker 3: I'm not old. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I
5:45
Speaker 3: literally give her allowance to not go to work. And
5:48
Speaker 3: she still is just her. One day after this week,
5:50
Speaker 3: I got to go do something. And if she's not working,
5:52
Speaker 3: she's up at 5 in the morning every morning. Yeah.
5:55
Speaker 3: She's got a routine that she likes to stick to.
5:57
Speaker 3: You know, once people get to that age, they're like,
5:59
Speaker 3: they got a routine. Yeah, for sure. So that's what
6:02
Speaker 3: that is for her.
6:02
Speaker 7: You got a song called Burn on the album, and
6:04
Speaker 7: it talks about, like, betrayal and people switching up on you.
6:07
Speaker 7: Was that inspired by someone specifically, something that happened to
6:10
Speaker 7: you in the industry, friends?
6:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, it definitely, definitely, I mean, it happened. You know,
6:16
Speaker 3: when you coming up, like I said, you obviously put
6:20
Speaker 3: on your people, right? But sometimes you got your people that's,
6:24
Speaker 3: They understand that I'm a fucker. I can't really be
6:28
Speaker 3: around right now because I still got what I got
6:30
Speaker 3: going on. But I'm just... This is just me. I
6:34
Speaker 3: got a heart where it's like anybody that I see
6:36
Speaker 3: as a hard worker or that I know and that listen,
6:38
Speaker 3: I'm willing to help. You know what I'm saying? And
6:41
Speaker 3: so I did that with a lot of different situations.
6:44
Speaker 3: Just people trying to help people, put people in positions
6:47
Speaker 3: and they... They used it. They just used it and
6:53
Speaker 3: used it and used it until I finally just couldn't
6:56
Speaker 3: do it no more. I'm doing more than you are doing.
6:59
Speaker 3: I can't keep doing that. And now I'm a problem.
7:06
Speaker 3: I don't know how to react to that because I've never...
7:07
Speaker 3: Growing up, I didn't always have a problem. I was
7:12
Speaker 3: always the one that was actually fucking up. So now
7:14
Speaker 3: I'm looking at it like, here I am doing way
7:17
Speaker 3: better for other people I'm still the problem. They had
7:22
Speaker 3: me going against myself and that's where I feel like
7:25
Speaker 3: the whole sadness situation came from within me is because that's,
7:31
Speaker 3: my partners tell you, I ain't never, that's one thing
7:34
Speaker 3: I'll never go against is myself.
7:35
Speaker 2: But those people are ungrateful.
7:37
Speaker 3: For sure.
7:37
Speaker 2: And the reason that they're ungrateful is because you did
7:39
Speaker 2: something for them but it's never enough.
7:41
Speaker 3: For sure. You're absolutely right. My heart is just so
7:46
Speaker 3: me that I kept letting people do it because it's,
7:50
Speaker 3: I look at it now, once we done made money together,
7:52
Speaker 3: once we done did what we did together, you're family.
7:54
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? Like, in my eyes, you
7:56
Speaker 3: mean my partner.
7:57
Speaker 2: But those be the people who take advantage of you
7:58
Speaker 2: the most.
7:58
Speaker 3: Nah, for sure, for sure.
7:59
Speaker 1: I mean, remember last time you came up here, the
8:01
Speaker 1: first time you were at the Breakfast Club, you didn't
8:03
Speaker 1: come by yourself.
8:03
Speaker 3: You brought your whole crew with you.
8:04
Speaker 4: I was going to ask you.
8:05
Speaker 3: You brought six artists with you.
8:07
Speaker 2: It was a group album. I mean, it was promoting groups.
8:09
Speaker 2: But still, this was the first time X was here, though.
8:12
Speaker 6: Is it you being the businessman of 600 Entertainment, or
8:15
Speaker 6: is it not in relation to that?
8:16
Speaker 5: Is that the conversation that we're having right now?
8:18
Speaker 3: It's just everything. The people who you would think would
8:29
Speaker 3: respect and appreciate you the most are the ones that
8:37
Speaker 3: don't give a fuck. It took me a while to
8:42
Speaker 3: realize that. A lot of people, when you say no,
8:45
Speaker 3: I probably should start saying no a lot sooner Because
8:47
Speaker 3: then I would have been able to see.
8:49
Speaker 2: A lot of different ways to say it. Say no,
8:51
Speaker 2: hell no, fuck no. Bitch, no.
8:54
Speaker 3: Okay?
8:54
Speaker 2: I'm just saying.
8:57
Speaker 3: That's not me. I don't really... Even if I tell you...
9:02
Speaker 3: I'm the type to... You can ask me for something.
9:04
Speaker 3: I'm not going to say no. I'm like, all right,
9:05
Speaker 3: what do you need it for? And then once you... Okay, well,
9:08
Speaker 3: when do you need it by? I can never just
9:11
Speaker 3: say no. Unless it's just some dumb ass shit. But
9:13
Speaker 3: get the fuck out of my face. But other than that,
9:16
Speaker 3: I'm always, you know, I'm one of those, my security
9:19
Speaker 3: guard said all the time, he be trying, the benefit
9:22
Speaker 3: of the doubt. That's what I be doing. I be
9:24
Speaker 3: trying to give people the benefit of the doubt. And
9:26
Speaker 3: I just look at it as, I'm blessed. So why
9:29
Speaker 3: not help people and try to bless other people? But
9:32
Speaker 3: I put myself in their hands.
9:34
Speaker 2: How do you tell the difference between somebody who genuinely
9:36
Speaker 2: needs your help and somebody who's taking advantage of you?
9:38
Speaker 3: You don't. You can't. That's right. You can't. People will
9:42
Speaker 3: look at you and have all the money in the
9:43
Speaker 3: world in their pocket, but will still cry and say, man,
9:46
Speaker 3: I can't pay my bills. My mama dead. What?
9:49
Speaker 2: I'm serious.
9:52
Speaker 3: So, yeah.
9:52
Speaker 2: The stories be crazy. The lady caught up here this
9:54
Speaker 2: morning talking about she tired all these sob stories.
9:56
Speaker 4: Oh, my God, yeah.
9:57
Speaker 7: She's like, my mom got amputated and all of that,
10:01
Speaker 7: and then they be looking for money. It's like, no
10:03
Speaker 7: matter how much money we send you, you ain't gonna
10:05
Speaker 7: put a leg back.
10:06
Speaker 1: He does that, because when people call up here, if
10:09
Speaker 1: you tell him the right story, he'll send you a
10:11
Speaker 1: cash app.
10:12
Speaker 3: For sure. I'm like that. I'm like how you are.
10:15
Speaker 2: If I can help, I'm going to help.
10:16
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
10:17
Speaker 2: Because my mindset is God is never going to judge
10:22
Speaker 2: me based off how people treat me. He's going to
10:23
Speaker 2: judge me based off how I treat people.
10:24
Speaker 3: For sure. And the thing is, they sit back and
10:27
Speaker 3: they watch everything you do. So that whenever you say, oh, no,
10:31
Speaker 3: I can't right now. Oh, you just did this at
10:33
Speaker 3: the club the other day.
10:35
Speaker 2: That's the truth.
10:36
Speaker 1: You just gave somebody on the radio and you don't
10:38
Speaker 1: even know them. And I'm fed all the time.
10:40
Speaker 3: That's wild. Yeah. And me being me, I'd be like, damn,
10:45
Speaker 3: you're right. if I just gave that person and did that,
10:48
Speaker 3: then I can do this for you. But it's like,
10:50
Speaker 3: you're either coming at it the wrong way or you're lying,
10:54
Speaker 3: and I know you are, but because I'm me, I
10:56
Speaker 3: still do it. So it's like, I can't even say
10:58
Speaker 3: they got me here. I got myself here. Because like
11:02
Speaker 3: I said, it was me going against myself. It wasn't
11:03
Speaker 3: them doing what they was doing. It was me knowing
11:07
Speaker 3: this is not right. This is not how it's supposed
11:08
Speaker 3: to go. This is not. And I still was like, nah, X,
11:11
Speaker 3: you got it. You might as well. So it was
11:13
Speaker 3: my fault, but. We shake it up.
11:14
Speaker 6: What are my compilation projects unless it's you and Rosama?
11:18
Speaker 3: Oh, me, Rosama, Young Hood, for sure. The same people
11:21
Speaker 3: I came in with is probably the same people I'm
11:23
Speaker 3: going to leave out of here with.
11:24
Speaker 2: You done cut the whole group off already?
11:25
Speaker 3: I ain't cut nobody off yet. That's what I'm saying.
11:29
Speaker 3: It was six last time.
11:30
Speaker 4: It was only a year ago, wasn't it?
11:33
Speaker 3: Damn. It wasn't even a year ago. And out of
11:37
Speaker 3: all of those people, whose name have y'all heard since
11:40
Speaker 3: then other than me? That's crazy. Yeah. That's what I
11:43
Speaker 3: was saying.
11:44
Speaker 1: You gave him an opportunity. Your first time up here,
11:46
Speaker 1: you brought your group with you and gave him a chance.
11:48
Speaker 3: It's always supposed to be like, and it's, I, I, I, nevermind. Yeah.
11:54
Speaker 5: When I'm listening to your music, I'm trying.
11:56
Speaker 3: To give you a hug later on.
11:57
Speaker 2: I know.
11:57
Speaker 6: The first four songs, I'm like, well, first it kicks
12:00
Speaker 6: off with your mom and it sets it up to
12:02
Speaker 6: be like, okay, we know you about to be the
12:04
Speaker 6: biggest because your mom has been assailing that in you
12:06
Speaker 6: from the beginning. Then we get into now you're the biggest,
12:08
Speaker 6: the sky's the limit, but your feelings are really hurt.
12:10
Speaker 3: Yeah.
12:11
Speaker 5: And I'm like, well, dang, somebody really hurt him.
12:13
Speaker 3: That's on No Limit?
12:15
Speaker 5: No Limit, Burn, like, it's a little bit mixed in.
12:19
Speaker 3: No Limit was like a realization song for me. Like,
12:24
Speaker 3: in the movie, you know, when Biggie, when they was showing,
12:27
Speaker 3: you know, his Sky's the Limit, he was sitting in
12:29
Speaker 3: the studio, and it was him and his producer, and
12:32
Speaker 3: he was just listening to it, and he, like, leaned
12:33
Speaker 3: his head back and started laughing. And the producer was like, man,
12:36
Speaker 3: what's funny? What's up? And he was like. We did it,
12:39
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying? So that kind of was
12:40
Speaker 3: like my moment. For me, that was like, okay, yeah.
12:44
Speaker 3: Everything that I'm doing is for something. I got to
12:48
Speaker 3: be grateful, you know what I'm saying?
12:50
Speaker 2: Taking care of your parents, your finances.
12:51
Speaker 3: Exactly, you know what I'm saying? So, yeah, you're right.
12:54
Speaker 3: But then you're absolutely right. Then you go burn, and
12:56
Speaker 3: then you go, I get it.
12:58
Speaker 6: So you was the man with the plan who vowed
13:00
Speaker 6: to save the world, and that was a stupid plan.
13:02
Speaker 3: Stupid, yeah. I got out of this money and thought
13:04
Speaker 3: I was going to be able to save the world.
13:05
Speaker 3: Nobody can. It's impossible.
13:08
Speaker 4: Not a stupid plan, though.
13:09
Speaker 3: It's not a stupid plan, but it's impossible. Because it's like,
13:14
Speaker 3: now you don't get a day off. Yeah. And then
13:18
Speaker 3: even when you're saving the world, right? Like, let's say Superman, right?
13:21
Speaker 3: He's saving the world, but you got to fly through
13:23
Speaker 3: the world's biggest building to stop it from killing everybody
13:26
Speaker 3: on the ground. Mm-hmm. They're going to put in the
13:28
Speaker 3: news that Superman destroyed the biggest building in the world. Yeah.
13:33
Speaker 3: They're not going to say that he saved 50,000 people
13:34
Speaker 3: down on the ground. Mm-hmm. That's why I say, that's
13:37
Speaker 3: why I say it's crazy to try to do.
13:40
Speaker 4: You got a lot of superheroes that be fucking up
13:42
Speaker 4: the world.
13:43
Speaker 3: They saving so many people though.
13:45
Speaker 4: They did, they did.
13:46
Speaker 7: But you know how long it's going to take to
13:47
Speaker 7: put that damn building up? Imagine all the people that
13:49
Speaker 7: lost jobs.
13:50
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. Okay, so you seen the last
13:53
Speaker 3: one where he snapped his fingers and half the people
13:55
Speaker 3: in the world disappeared. The world's still tarnished without all
14:00
Speaker 3: those people. So with those people, with you keeping those people,
14:03
Speaker 3: you still can rebuild everything. Them people gone, you can't
14:05
Speaker 3: do that.
14:06
Speaker 4: You right.
14:07
Speaker 2: That make sense? You know, I be thinking about like
14:09
Speaker 2: when you spent years trying to make it, what happens
14:11
Speaker 2: mentally when you finally don't have to worry about money anymore?
14:15
Speaker 2: Like mentally to you.
14:18
Speaker 3: See, the thing was I never came into it on some, oh,
14:22
Speaker 3: what can I do so that I'm never broke again?
14:24
Speaker 3: I came into it on some, I need to provide
14:27
Speaker 3: for my kid. That don't stop. That never stop. When
14:31
Speaker 3: he's 18, I'm still, yeah, he grown, but If he ever,
14:36
Speaker 3: I got to be there for him to fall back on.
14:38
Speaker 4: To death do you parent.
14:39
Speaker 3: To death do me parent. And I got two kids now,
14:41
Speaker 3: so I got to keep it going.
14:44
Speaker 2: Regardless of what the financial situation is, you just know
14:47
Speaker 2: I got to get this money for it.
14:48
Speaker 3: For sure. Got you.
14:50
Speaker 2: Has having money bought you peace, or is it just
14:52
Speaker 2: a different set of problems?
14:53
Speaker 3: No, it's not. That money money problem shit is real.
14:57
Speaker 3: It's real. I would have rather had Well, no, let
15:01
Speaker 3: me not say that, because it's really the fame. It's
15:03
Speaker 3: really the people seeing me on this and seeing me
15:06
Speaker 3: on that, places that you see rich people on. You
15:09
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying? Like, on one of the songs,
15:11
Speaker 3: I say, I don't want to be on the Forbes list,
15:13
Speaker 3: because as soon as I make the Forbes list, that's
15:15
Speaker 3: when they're going to want shit. Yeah. That's the type
15:17
Speaker 3: of shit. I don't want that TV shit, the internet shit.
15:20
Speaker 3: That's what made people feel like.
15:22
Speaker 5: He was on the list.
15:22
Speaker 7: Yeah, he was.
15:23
Speaker 4: $ 200 million.
15:24
Speaker 2: Could you stop?
15:25
Speaker 3: Let me borrow $ 1, 000.
15:28
Speaker 2: You got it.
15:28
Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying.
15:29
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
15:30
Speaker 2: Imagine me giving Big X $ 1, 000 and my people see that.
15:33
Speaker 3: That's right.
15:33
Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
15:35
Speaker 3: You for sure can get it because he got it.
15:38
Speaker 3: You don't do it.
15:39
Speaker 2: You don't do it.
15:41
Speaker 3: You don't even do it.
15:42
Speaker 7: You released a short film around this project. Are you
15:45
Speaker 7: into filmmaking? Is that something that you always wanted to do,
15:48
Speaker 7: like act in a filmmaking?
15:49
Speaker 3: So... I've had the same director since I kind of
15:53
Speaker 3: came in. And we just got a tight relationship. It
15:57
Speaker 3: went from him putting all the treatments for the videos
15:59
Speaker 3: and stuff together to me calling him and me having
16:02
Speaker 3: insight and us doing it together. Like a lot of
16:04
Speaker 3: my videos, it's going to say directed by Big X
16:06
Speaker 3: the Club and him. And so this was just like,
16:11
Speaker 3: I paid him a long time ago to do like
16:12
Speaker 3: a documentary, but we always just wanted to do it
16:15
Speaker 3: the right way. And so we seen just with the
16:18
Speaker 3: album and just the better over time. He the one
16:21
Speaker 3: who put this plan together.
16:23
Speaker 4: It's fire.
16:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. Because as much as I've told my story,
16:29
Speaker 3: I've never just laid it out, like let them see
16:33
Speaker 3: who I was before. And so I feel like they
16:36
Speaker 3: got to show that. Because a lot of people feel like, oh,
16:38
Speaker 3: Big X portray he was a gangster. Oh, Big X
16:41
Speaker 3: portray he was a football player. Oh, no, this is
16:44
Speaker 3: exactly how it went. You know what I'm saying? People
16:47
Speaker 3: feel like, oh, they even had to. you had to
16:49
Speaker 3: be born in it or you had to jump out. No,
16:51
Speaker 3: sometimes life just life. And niggas got to figure shit out.
16:55
Speaker 3: And that was my situation. Yeah.
16:57
Speaker 7: You got some dope ass features too. You got Ava Max,
17:00
Speaker 7: you got Glorilla, Lil Yachty, Leon Thomas. Who shocked you
17:05
Speaker 7: the most in the studio?
17:06
Speaker 3: What's crazy is I was not in the studio with
17:08
Speaker 3: any of them.
17:09
Speaker 2: Really?
17:10
Speaker 3: Okay. It was all just, I do all my recording
17:13
Speaker 3: in house. So like I'm in a big house somewhere in,
17:17
Speaker 3: Palm Springs or in Arizona. Just me and my artists
17:21
Speaker 3: and my producers. Nobody else. We wake up, go to sleep,
17:24
Speaker 3: all that together. I wake up in the morning, hear
17:26
Speaker 3: beats at 8 in the morning. I'm hearing them when
17:28
Speaker 3: I go to sleep at 3 in the morning. It's
17:30
Speaker 3: just what we do.
17:31
Speaker 4: So you lock in and you do your shit.
17:33
Speaker 3: And so we basically do everything we do and then
17:36
Speaker 3: we sit back and we like, okay, who we think
17:39
Speaker 3: would sound good on this? And a lot of the
17:41
Speaker 3: people was just already people we had in pocket like Brandon.
17:45
Speaker 3: He's already tapped in. You know, he's Mecca Music, he's
17:48
Speaker 3: in Atlanta, so it's, you know everybody. So, it was
17:52
Speaker 3: just a given, like, the belly game, Cushington, it was
17:55
Speaker 3: a given that his manager is one of his, or
17:57
Speaker 3: his A & R, one of his close friends, so
18:00
Speaker 3: it just was a given to Gorilla, her manager is
18:02
Speaker 3: one of his close friends, so it was just all
18:05
Speaker 3: a relationship thing. Everything, every feature that we had was
18:08
Speaker 3: a relationship thing. It wasn't no, oh, we gotta pay
18:11
Speaker 3: this person, we gotta, it was our relationships, even all
18:13
Speaker 3: the way up to Lil Wayne, you know what I'm saying? Like,
18:15
Speaker 3: that was just something where We sent it to him.
18:17
Speaker 3: We had already did something for him before. And off
18:20
Speaker 3: the vibes, he did. Love. For sure. Yeah.
18:22
Speaker 4: I love Friday, too. You got Friday on that one.
18:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. And that was crazy. He sent me that. Yeah?
18:28
Speaker 3: I hadn't even made that song. He sent me that
18:30
Speaker 3: and was like, hey, you can use that for your
18:32
Speaker 3: album if you want to.
18:33
Speaker 4: Love Friday, man.
18:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. So that was crazy.
18:37
Speaker 5: Before we move on from that song, but Friday, the
18:39
Speaker 5: Hill Me.
18:39
Speaker 6: Mm-hmm. So you talk about battling depression. You talk about
18:44
Speaker 6: it's like the struggle of like, oh, this is happening.
18:46
Speaker 6: I'm dealing with these internal thoughts and feelings. But at
18:48
Speaker 6: the same time, at least I'm free and I can
18:49
Speaker 6: see my kids.
18:50
Speaker 3: Right.
18:51
Speaker 6: That mental battle between those two. Do you think or
18:55
Speaker 6: have you begin starting to talk yourself through finding a
18:57
Speaker 6: place of like not being in the middle of it
19:00
Speaker 6: and actually feeling happy about things and realizing that like
19:03
Speaker 6: you're in a good place now where you can let
19:04
Speaker 6: the dark side go?
19:12
Speaker 3: I mean, I really can't be upset or sad about nothing.
19:17
Speaker 3: Like I said, it was me. So whenever I was
19:19
Speaker 3: saying I was depressed, it took me making all the
19:22
Speaker 3: music to really realize it. But it was me. You
19:25
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying? I put myself here.
19:27
Speaker 5: You were grieving friendships.
19:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, but those weren't my friends.
19:33
Speaker 2: You thought they were.
19:34
Speaker 3: I thought they were.
19:35
Speaker 2: Which can be even worse sometimes.
19:37
Speaker 3: For sure. So that's why I say it was me,
19:38
Speaker 3: because I seen the flaws. I seen the... But that.
19:42
Speaker 3: it was me going against myself. I know who my
19:44
Speaker 3: friend and who, I know. Because, like I said, I
19:47
Speaker 3: was in a different environment before this. So that's why
19:49
Speaker 3: I was so confused and bothered by myself. Because you know.
19:52
Speaker 3: You acting green. You know better. Yeah, yeah. I know better.
19:56
Speaker 3: So I can't. Every day is a fight. Every day
20:01
Speaker 3: is a battle. Some days I wake up mad at
20:03
Speaker 3: the world. Some days I wake up happy as can be.
20:08
Speaker 3: When I see my kids, they don't know none of that.
20:10
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? They don't know how they
20:11
Speaker 3: woke up. And that's so, as long as they're here,
20:14
Speaker 3: I'm going to be here. I got to be here.
20:15
Speaker 3: That's what I told my mom the other day. My
20:16
Speaker 3: mom was, she see everything on the internet, people saying
20:20
Speaker 3: what they're saying, and she looked at me and please
20:22
Speaker 3: tell me you're not going to do nothing to yourself. Mama,
20:24
Speaker 3: I got two kids that I did not ask to
20:26
Speaker 3: be here. I can't do them like that. My son, autistic,
20:30
Speaker 3: his life already going to be not as easy as
20:33
Speaker 3: everybody else's. You think I'm going to let him go
20:35
Speaker 3: through that by himself? I can never do him that.
20:39
Speaker 6: Is it because, so with the fans seeing and having
20:41
Speaker 6: that conversation, it's because of how dark some of the
20:43
Speaker 6: songs feel, like how sad some of the songs feel,
20:45
Speaker 6: or the depression conversation your mom was in?
20:47
Speaker 3: So a lot of it is like, I ain't gonna lie,
20:49
Speaker 3: I get, sometimes I get too low where I mess
20:53
Speaker 3: around and just post, like, I won't post, no, oh,
20:57
Speaker 3: I'm finna kill myself or nothing, but it's like also
20:59
Speaker 3: just letting them know that I'm bothered by something. And
21:02
Speaker 3: my people know I don't do that. Like, my fans,
21:04
Speaker 3: they know that's not really, he gonna tell it in
21:07
Speaker 3: the music, he not gonna come to the internet and
21:09
Speaker 3: And so I guess they just took that and ran
21:11
Speaker 3: with that. And, yeah. And then my interviews, yeah, everybody, yeah.
21:16
Speaker 3: I'm coming over here being vulnerable and everybody taking it
21:19
Speaker 3: as he on the edge.
21:21
Speaker 2: You know, on FAF, with Glorilla, right? Fake-ass friends. Have
21:25
Speaker 2: you ever had to accept that you might have been
21:27
Speaker 2: the problem in a friendship that ended?
21:30
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. A lot of my friendships, I was the
21:34
Speaker 3: problem because I was the enabler. I enabled them. I
21:39
Speaker 3: started a trend and I was doing and I was
21:42
Speaker 3: doing and I was doing and even when they weren't
21:44
Speaker 3: doing nothing for me. So they thought that that was
21:47
Speaker 3: the norm. That's the norm on you.
21:49
Speaker 2: I be wondering if that make us fake. And what
21:52
Speaker 2: I mean by that is because you can just tell
21:55
Speaker 2: that person. Like I might go complain to everybody else
21:58
Speaker 2: about that person instead of.
21:59
Speaker 3: Telling that individual. I'll tell them.
22:03
Speaker 2: But I wait too late and then I say something crazy.
22:06
Speaker 3: Because I'll wait and go say something to my original
22:09
Speaker 3: group and they'd be like, nah, you're not tripping. Because
22:11
Speaker 3: I always want to make sure I'm not tripping. Because
22:14
Speaker 3: a lot of the times people be feeling like, oh,
22:16
Speaker 3: because whenever I get on somebody, I get on them.
22:19
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? Because it's not out of, oh,
22:21
Speaker 3: I'm the big dog. It's out of love. Like, no,
22:24
Speaker 3: I'm bringing you around so that you can be the
22:25
Speaker 3: best you can be and you're not giving that. You're
22:28
Speaker 3: wasting me and your time. What are we doing that for?
22:31
Speaker 3: But just to answer the question, You've been the problem. Yeah,
22:40
Speaker 3: I was the problem. The enabler. Like I said, the
22:42
Speaker 3: enabler and shit is... I've done it with my mom.
22:46
Speaker 3: That was the first person I ever enabled. When I
22:48
Speaker 3: first got some money, I did everything my mama needed
22:50
Speaker 3: to do, but that's what a son is supposed to do.
22:53
Speaker 3: But I'm not knowing that my mama was slipping and
22:56
Speaker 3: doing shit that she wasn't supposed to be doing because
22:58
Speaker 3: of a dude. And my mama ended up going through
23:02
Speaker 3: some stuff that she was never supposed to go through
23:03
Speaker 3: while her son was having the time of his life.
23:05
Speaker 2: You didn't even know?
23:06
Speaker 3: I don't know. I knew because... Yeah, but it was
23:09
Speaker 3: just something where it's like she was too far in
23:10
Speaker 3: with the dude and in her situation that I couldn't,
23:13
Speaker 3: once I knew, I couldn't do nothing about it.
23:15
Speaker 4: Damn.
23:16
Speaker 3: But I mean, my mama cool now. She's, you know, she's,
23:20
Speaker 3: she stay with me. You know what I'm saying? That's
23:22
Speaker 3: the care of my daughter when I'm not there, so.
23:25
Speaker 6: Is that why now you're so, I saw in Club
23:27
Speaker 6: Shay Shay, you said they don't have men around them,
23:29
Speaker 6: you take care of them until a man can come
23:31
Speaker 6: and show them that they can do more than you can.
23:33
Speaker 5: Is that why you're kind of protective of them?
23:34
Speaker 3: Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Because I, I'd never put my
23:38
Speaker 3: mama through that again. I'm not even going to let
23:40
Speaker 3: my sisters go. I basically raised my sisters. My sisters,
23:43
Speaker 3: they don't have, they have dads, but they have sperm donors.
23:47
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? But I was the one
23:49
Speaker 3: that was there for my, whether I was providing or not.
23:52
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying? I was just always the
23:54
Speaker 3: male figure. And then my granny, my granny done, she's
23:57
Speaker 3: always been the man. You know what I'm saying? Even
23:59
Speaker 3: when she was married, she was always the man, the provider,
24:02
Speaker 3: the one that everybody went to. So I just look
24:05
Speaker 3: at it as, okay, bet. Y'all went through everything y'all
24:08
Speaker 3: was going through because either a man wasn't there or
24:13
Speaker 3: he was there, but he wasn't stepping up like he
24:14
Speaker 3: was supposed to. So everything that I seen that they
24:17
Speaker 3: wasn't doing, I'm that now. You know what I'm saying? And, yeah.
24:23
Speaker 3: I'm not the man that I feel like they all
24:24
Speaker 3: need to be.
24:25
Speaker 5: That's why she gets so.
24:28
Speaker 6: That's why she probably got so upset seeing the post
24:31
Speaker 6: online and stuff like that because imagine what you mean
24:33
Speaker 6: to her because she's been through things and moments that
24:36
Speaker 6: only you and her know that she can't ever, even
24:38
Speaker 6: when she meets that man, he wouldn't understand it the
24:39
Speaker 6: same way you do.
24:40
Speaker 2: And it's just her son.
24:41
Speaker 6: Yeah, but I mean, I'm saying that to say y'all
24:42
Speaker 6: relationship seems very super, super intertwined.
24:45
Speaker 3: No, for sure. I'm a firstborn. My mama my best friend.
24:48
Speaker 3: Me and my mama get into it more because of
24:50
Speaker 3: the fact that growing up, she was my friend more
24:54
Speaker 3: than she was my mom. You know what I'm saying?
24:56
Speaker 3: She was the Oh yeah, go do this. You want
24:57
Speaker 3: some candy? You want, let's kick it weak. And so
25:00
Speaker 3: whenever she would sit your ass down, I'm looking at
25:02
Speaker 3: her like, what the fuck are you doing? That's not
25:04
Speaker 3: nothing that we don't do that. That's, that's what dad do.
25:07
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
25:08
Speaker 7: So I was with my son, but no, I was like,
25:12
Speaker 7: that's for real. But I was young when I had him.
25:15
Speaker 7: So like, I was still growing up when I had
25:18
Speaker 7: my first kid.
25:19
Speaker 4: So we, we kind of grew up together.
25:21
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
25:22
Speaker 6: So I, I, I, resonate with you when you when
25:26
Speaker 6: you say that and then yo real quick my son
25:28
Speaker 6: is so funny so he love you made a video
25:30
Speaker 6: for him last time he said and i'm telling you
25:33
Speaker 6: he watches you he listens to your music he loved
25:36
Speaker 6: yo it was an interview that you did i didn't
25:38
Speaker 6: even watch it and ashton saw that's my son's name
25:41
Speaker 6: he's 14 and i was asking him what's wrong i'm
25:44
Speaker 6: having a conversation with him he was like man you
25:46
Speaker 6: gotta tell me when you're coming back up there because
25:48
Speaker 6: like Tell him it's going to be okay.
25:49
Speaker 4: Like, that's my guy.
25:50
Speaker 5: Like, we got to pray for Big X.
25:53
Speaker 7: And I'm like, damn, what the fuck happened to him
25:55
Speaker 7: or whatever? And he was like, man, I'm going to
25:57
Speaker 7: just send you the interview. My son is so funny.
26:00
Speaker 7: You would think he's an old-ass man, but he's really
26:02
Speaker 7: in tune with everything.
26:03
Speaker 4: You got going on. So I prayed for you. I
26:06
Speaker 4: didn't even know what I was praying for. He was like,
26:08
Speaker 4: we got to make sure he's all right, though.
26:09
Speaker 2: What the fuck you and Rod Wave be talking about
26:11
Speaker 2: when y'all be with each other? I know y'all be
26:14
Speaker 2: with each other.
26:14
Speaker 3: What's crazy is we don't be with each other. I've
26:16
Speaker 3: seen Rod, what, twice? And they was at his shows. Wow.
26:21
Speaker 3: Y'all got similar spirits to me. We probably not supposed
26:24
Speaker 3: to just link up and sit down and talk. Oh, no.
26:27
Speaker 6: You talking about your post online, child?
26:30
Speaker 5: We want to be at your house.
26:31
Speaker 4: Hey, are you all right? That sound like a cool
26:34
Speaker 4: therapy session, though.
26:35
Speaker 6: Maybe y'all need an intermediate person there to just balance
26:39
Speaker 6: out the tools.
26:40
Speaker 2: That would probably come out.
26:41
Speaker 3: Oh, my God. Yeah.
26:43
Speaker 6: Yeah.
26:44
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, it'll happen. But it's just... I don't know,
26:47
Speaker 3: like he's one of them people that whenever I, if
26:49
Speaker 3: I was to ever sit down with him, I wouldn't
26:51
Speaker 3: ask about no music. I don't never ask people about music.
26:54
Speaker 2: Y'all made a few records together though, right?
26:56
Speaker 3: Nah. Oh, I thought y'all made a record together. We
26:58
Speaker 3: had one song that we had together, but it wasn't
27:00
Speaker 3: on the, we was in the studio together. They sent
27:04
Speaker 3: me a verse of his, but it got leaked. His
27:07
Speaker 3: verse got leaked, and so I just couldn't do nothing
27:09
Speaker 3: with it after that.
27:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, that must have been the thing I heard. I
27:12
Speaker 2: did definitely heard a record with y'all.
27:13
Speaker 3: That was a minute ago. But yeah, right now, any... Rapper, artist, anybody.
27:18
Speaker 3: I only really got maybe two friends, and they're country artists.
27:24
Speaker 3: It was crazy. Shabuzy and Bailey Zimmerman. Them the only
27:27
Speaker 3: people that will randomly on a Tuesday, hey, what's up, bro?
27:31
Speaker 3: You good? Nobody else do that. Whenever I bump into
27:34
Speaker 3: new people, the first thing they say is, oh, what's up, bro? Man,
27:37
Speaker 3: we got to get in the studio. Meanwhile, the first
27:40
Speaker 3: thing I'm saying is, how you feeling? You good? It's
27:43
Speaker 3: a difference. So that's why I just keep my distance,
27:45
Speaker 3: for real. because everybody got secret motives or just a motive, period.
27:49
Speaker 3: My whole time, I'm just, I'm regular. Well, I'm not regular,
27:53
Speaker 3: but I'm regular. You know what I'm saying?
27:55
Speaker 2: You be chilling.
27:56
Speaker 3: You be chilling.
27:57
Speaker 2: Did you ever feel, like, genuinely welcomed in the country music?
28:00
Speaker 3: For sure. Okay. Oh. Listen, the country world is a
28:05
Speaker 3: whole different world. Like, it's, they are so open arms
28:10
Speaker 3: with everything. Like, they knew I had never did a
28:13
Speaker 3: lick of country music, but they was willing to. from
28:17
Speaker 3: producers to engineers to artists. I didn't pay for none
28:21
Speaker 3: of them features. And some of them, Post Malone, Jelly Roll,
28:25
Speaker 3: Luke Combs, them big names. Them was just people that
28:28
Speaker 3: wanted to genuinely, they seen that I was trying to
28:31
Speaker 3: do something that hadn't been done and they was willing
28:33
Speaker 3: to help. And we did, we made history.
28:36
Speaker 4: Luke Combs, my guy. I love Luke Combs, that's me.
28:39
Speaker 5: The audience in country music responds to you.
28:40
Speaker 6: That's who you were at the iHeart Festival, not this year,
28:43
Speaker 6: the year before.
28:44
Speaker 5: And when you came out, they went crazy.
28:46
Speaker 6: I was like, oh, wow. Because we hear the opposite.
28:49
Speaker 6: We always hear that it's so hard for black artists
28:51
Speaker 6: to break.
28:51
Speaker 5: In that world.
28:54
Speaker 3: I'm going to be honest. If I would have just
28:56
Speaker 3: went with a whole tape of just me, it might
28:59
Speaker 3: have been a little rocky. But I feel like the
29:03
Speaker 3: fact that they seen that I was trying, like I'm
29:05
Speaker 3: not just trying to come over here and take over y'all's.
29:08
Speaker 4: Genre, man.
29:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm coming and trying to, you know, I'm trying
29:11
Speaker 3: to see what this is about. I'm trying to, you know,
29:13
Speaker 3: I need help. Help me. And they was like, okay, bet. So, yeah,
29:17
Speaker 3: it's just, it's different when you walk in somebody's territory
29:19
Speaker 3: and try to take over that, and when you're just
29:21
Speaker 3: trying to come and just blend in with them, so.
29:24
Speaker 2: Oh, you just didn't stay the country lane for a second. Like,
29:26
Speaker 2: what made you come back with?
29:27
Speaker 3: That was the longest album I've ever done. From the
29:33
Speaker 3: recording sessions to the, because it's just different. Like, when
29:37
Speaker 3: you're rapping, you can talk about I can talk about
29:39
Speaker 3: this ring I got on. this watch I got on,
29:41
Speaker 3: these chains, and some property and got a song. You
29:45
Speaker 3: got to genuinely be going through something to make... You
29:49
Speaker 3: got to genuinely be going through something to make some
29:51
Speaker 3: country music. My first couple of recording sessions, it wasn't
29:55
Speaker 3: just a session. It was, so what is country music?
29:58
Speaker 3: What is country music to you? and every time I
30:00
Speaker 3: got the same responses, whiskey and heartbreak. And so when
30:04
Speaker 3: I first started making it, I wasn't going through a,
30:07
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say a heartbreak at the time, but halfway
30:10
Speaker 3: through that motherfucker I was. You know what I'm saying?
30:11
Speaker 3: And so I started to understand, and then I just had,
30:14
Speaker 3: like I said, my producers, and Ro, we was all
30:19
Speaker 3: locked in. Like I said, we'd wake up, go to
30:20
Speaker 3: sleep every day together. And so when they was waking up,
30:23
Speaker 3: hearing me on them phones, hollering, going back and forth,
30:27
Speaker 3: Ro was like, ooh, this gonna be, You know what
30:30
Speaker 3: I'm saying? So it was a team effort, for real.
30:33
Speaker 2: So when you write songs like lately, F-Rap, is it
30:36
Speaker 2: because of you dabbling in country music or you just
30:39
Speaker 2: be fed up with the music business?
30:41
Speaker 3: No, I'm just fed up with the music business. Listen,
30:43
Speaker 3: this wasn't for me. I was supposed to be playing
30:44
Speaker 3: football or a coach or something like that. This wasn't
30:47
Speaker 3: supposed to... So to be in something that I already
30:50
Speaker 3: didn't want to do, to be in front of all the... Yeah,
30:54
Speaker 3: fuck this shit.
30:54
Speaker 2: Do you ever feel ungrateful? Do you ever feel like, man, God,
30:57
Speaker 2: I appreciate it, but This is not what I want.
31:00
Speaker 2: You can't tell God this is not what you want.
31:01
Speaker 3: I don't tell him that this is not what I want.
31:03
Speaker 3: I just be like, God, thank you, but fuck. I'm
31:06
Speaker 3: going to be completely honest, but I thank you. That's
31:15
Speaker 3: all I can say. I say thank you and I
31:17
Speaker 3: take a deep breath because you can't really... So you
31:20
Speaker 3: got a little bit of passion or something? I just always...
31:24
Speaker 3: I grew up a football player. That's all I knew.
31:27
Speaker 3: Everything that I've... The streets to the rap, I figured
31:31
Speaker 3: it out on the fly. It wasn't, yeah, I knew football.
31:37
Speaker 3: That's what I, so yeah, all this new to me.
31:41
Speaker 3: I've been doing this for about five years now. I
31:44
Speaker 3: blew up in two, a year and a half. So
31:47
Speaker 3: all this is fast, and I just had to adjust
31:51
Speaker 3: as it went. But, yeah, no, it's not for me.
31:53
Speaker 2: Well, go see if you can walk on with the
31:54
Speaker 2: Cowboys or something then, man.
31:56
Speaker 3: We need you. No, no, no. I'll go to the Texans.
31:57
Speaker 3: I ain't going to no Cowboys. No, you know what?
31:59
Speaker 3: The Cowboys might need me. They might need me, so
32:02
Speaker 3: I might go to the Cowboys.
32:03
Speaker 4: But I think he know you can handle it, though.
32:04
Speaker 4: I know you said, you know, you asked for God life.
32:07
Speaker 3: Yeah.
32:08
Speaker 4: He know you can handle it, though.
32:09
Speaker 3: My security guard tell me all the time, heavy, what
32:11
Speaker 3: he say?
32:12
Speaker 5: Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
32:13
Speaker 3: He say that all the time. And when he say it,
32:14
Speaker 3: I just drop my head because I be like, bro,
32:17
Speaker 3: I ain't even asked to wear this crown. Right. But.
32:20
Speaker 3: If he was able to put it on my head,
32:21
Speaker 3: I mean, I can't hold it.
32:24
Speaker 6: Do you ever, when you ask God, like, why this
32:26
Speaker 6: lane of things, like, do you ever hear him talk, like,
32:28
Speaker 6: or showing you things of, like, why this and not football?
32:31
Speaker 3: I don't ever ask him why because I know why.
32:35
Speaker 3: When I initially asked him, like, God, please give me
32:39
Speaker 3: something to help take care of my kids, my family,
32:43
Speaker 3: he did it. So I have no, I can't ask
32:44
Speaker 3: him why I know why he did it because I
32:46
Speaker 3: asked him to help me provide for my kids, you
32:48
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying? So, yeah.
32:50
Speaker 7: In football, you can get hurt. You see quarterbacks for
32:54
Speaker 7: the Ravens.
32:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, NFL, not for long. It's crazy.
32:56
Speaker 4: We don't have no quarterback right now.
32:59
Speaker 2: The fact that you said the quarterback for the Ravens,
33:01
Speaker 2: you don't know who your quarterback is?
33:03
Speaker 3: What?
33:03
Speaker 4: Lamar Jackson.
33:04
Speaker 2: I'm just making sure.
33:05
Speaker 4: And Huntley. I'm sorry, I'm just saying, we lost both.
33:07
Speaker 2: Lamar wanted the best to ever do it.
33:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, yes.
33:11
Speaker 3: It was the fact that he was gone all that time,
33:12
Speaker 3: and then first play back here.
33:14
Speaker 4: First play back in. It was like, damn. And then...
33:17
Speaker 4: Our second one, he going out too.
33:19
Speaker 7: So it's like, yeah, but you see what I'm saying is,
33:22
Speaker 7: that's probably why rap is much safer.
33:24
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Kind of, sort of, you know?
33:26
Speaker 3: Kind of, sort of. If you move.
33:28
Speaker 4: The right way, if you move the right way.
33:29
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you move the right way, for sure.
33:30
Speaker 2: You ain't got to worry about getting shot on the
33:32
Speaker 2: football field.
33:34
Speaker 3: You must ain't seen Gridiron Gang.
33:36
Speaker 4: You ain't seen Gridiron Gang.
33:39
Speaker 3: You ain't seen Gridiron Gang, bro. But now, it's... Like
33:45
Speaker 3: you said, it just depends on how you move. I
33:47
Speaker 3: ain't never moved like that.
33:49
Speaker 5: So today is Big X okay? Like you feeling good?
33:52
Speaker 5: You in a good place? How are you?
33:56
Speaker 3: Every day I get better. I'm not going to say
33:58
Speaker 3: I'm in the best head space because somebody will call
34:02
Speaker 3: me and do some crazy shit right now and then
34:04
Speaker 3: I'll go back two steps. But every day I try
34:06
Speaker 3: to go a step forward.
34:08
Speaker 2: But you know that stuff isn't because of you though.
34:10
Speaker 2: no I know like what other people are going through
34:12
Speaker 2: is what they got their own issue for.
34:14
Speaker 3: Sure but sometimes it hurt me just off the strength
34:16
Speaker 3: of cause I want to you know what I'm saying
34:19
Speaker 3: like but I now it's at first it was oh
34:23
Speaker 3: I can't so I'ma do it and now they just
34:25
Speaker 3: biting the hand but now it's like I know I
34:27
Speaker 3: can't help you but I can't and I genuinely care
34:31
Speaker 3: for this person at one point in time so it's
34:32
Speaker 3: like I wanna help you but I can't and that
34:34
Speaker 3: hurt more than than doing it and them biting.
34:38
Speaker 6: Your hand yeah so But things that you lose often
34:41
Speaker 6: are redirection. Like I saw one of your posts, you
34:43
Speaker 6: were talking about you lost everything. Sometimes you lose things
34:46
Speaker 6: or you don't get the instant redirection for a better.
34:48
Speaker 3: It was crazy. Everybody thought I went broke.
34:51
Speaker 2: That's what I was going to do.
34:53
Speaker 3: You did.
34:53
Speaker 2: I lost everything.
34:54
Speaker 3: I saw that other day too.
34:55
Speaker 2: I was like, God damn.
34:57
Speaker 3: Nah, like when you lose yourself, I feel like you've
34:59
Speaker 3: lost everything. When you look at yourself in the mirror
35:04
Speaker 3: and you just, you don't see, you don't see you.
35:09
Speaker 3: That's a different feeling. I never thought I would be
35:12
Speaker 3: able to feel it. People say, oh, I look in
35:14
Speaker 3: the mirror. I always thought people was talking, but I
35:16
Speaker 3: don't look in the mirror and not seeing my real self.
35:20
Speaker 2: What was it?
35:22
Speaker 3: It's me, but it just looked like a hurt version
35:26
Speaker 3: of me. I'm one of those people walk around, smile.
35:30
Speaker 3: I'm the one that make everybody happy.
35:32
Speaker 5: You're the strong friend.
35:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, so whenever I wake up and the first thing
35:35
Speaker 3: I do is look in the mirror and I just
35:36
Speaker 3: look like, nigga, you ain't even want to wake up
35:38
Speaker 3: for real. But I brush my teeth and I fix
35:44
Speaker 3: my face to where it looks like it's a smile
35:45
Speaker 3: because I know my kids is waiting on me right outside.
35:47
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with that, though, man. I think that
35:51
Speaker 2: more men need to express that. The hardest thing for
35:53
Speaker 2: men to express is that our feelings are hurt. Are
35:56
Speaker 2: we not in a good mood? You know what I mean?
35:58
Speaker 3: I'm going to be completely honest with you. I think
36:00
Speaker 3: the only reason that I started... You been lying this
36:02
Speaker 3: whole time? No. I think the only reason... I even
36:08
Speaker 3: started to express myself because I think that's why the people,
36:13
Speaker 3: that's where the suicide stuff come in. Absolutely. When they
36:16
Speaker 3: don't express themselves and they just hold it in. And
36:18
Speaker 3: I feel like that's where I was getting. I was
36:19
Speaker 3: getting to a point where I was in a corner,
36:22
Speaker 3: even though, yeah, I got my people that I could
36:24
Speaker 3: talk to. It's like they don't understand. And so it
36:28
Speaker 3: just got to a point where I was just, I
36:30
Speaker 3: don't know, I felt like I was locking up. And
36:33
Speaker 3: the only way I could, Let it out was to
36:34
Speaker 3: cry and type or to cry and yell. But I'm
36:39
Speaker 3: still here. I'll take that little 30-minute embarrassment that they're
36:43
Speaker 3: going to give me on the internet because they don't
36:44
Speaker 3: give a fuck. They're going to clown you. Oh, he
36:47
Speaker 3: did see that. Like I said, I posted that. And
36:49
Speaker 3: they thought I had went broke. Everybody was talking about
36:51
Speaker 3: I went broke. Oh, he lost a girl. Oh, Tom,
36:54
Speaker 3: I done lost myself. And y'all on here clowning me.
36:58
Speaker 3: But hey, it's cool because I'll take this 30 minutes
37:01
Speaker 3: at the end of the day. I just made it
37:03
Speaker 3: to where I'm alive for another day. That's what helped.
37:06
Speaker 2: You ever talk to a therapist?
37:08
Speaker 3: I hate that. What is a therapist going to be like?
37:12
Speaker 2: It changed my life 10 years ago. I felt I
37:14
Speaker 2: was in that same position. I didn't know who the
37:16
Speaker 2: fuck I was.
37:17
Speaker 3: I just feel like a therapist can't really help you.
37:19
Speaker 3: You don't know me.
37:21
Speaker 2: That's what they get to know you. It's somebody that
37:23
Speaker 2: you can go to, sit down, express yourself, tell all
37:27
Speaker 2: your issues, and they're not judging you. They're just listening.
37:31
Speaker 3: I can do that with my people. When it comes
37:36
Speaker 3: to that, because it's like, okay, because the therapist is
37:38
Speaker 3: not really, like you said, they're just an open ear
37:40
Speaker 3: to hear you. You can get it out. Okay, cool.
37:43
Speaker 3: I don't know them. Even though it's your job to
37:45
Speaker 3: not go tell nobody, I just don't, like I said,
37:46
Speaker 3: I don't trust nothing no more. So I'd rather tell
37:50
Speaker 3: people that's been there with me since day one, and
37:52
Speaker 3: even though they don't understand what the fuck I'm going through,
37:55
Speaker 3: I'd rather tell them and them just be like, oh,
37:57
Speaker 3: you're going through something. Then go tell the therapist and
38:01
Speaker 3: Now it's everywhere. I don't trust it. I don't trust it.
38:03
Speaker 3: That's it.
38:05
Speaker 7: I understand.
38:07
Speaker 2: You know, Rosama wouldn't use it against you. Write a
38:10
Speaker 2: rap dissing you and you don't.
38:12
Speaker 3: Even know it. I go tell his goddamn daddy. I'm
38:17
Speaker 3: going to go tell his dad. No, I'm telling him.
38:22
Speaker 3: That's the one. That's the one right there.
38:24
Speaker 2: Do you hope to look in the mirror one day
38:26
Speaker 2: and be genuinely happy with the person you see?
38:28
Speaker 3: Oh, for sure. I feel like everything that I'm going through,
38:31
Speaker 3: everything I done did, I got to smile at the
38:34
Speaker 3: end of it all. You know what I'm saying? Like,
38:35
Speaker 3: when you the person that make everybody smile, you got
38:36
Speaker 3: to be able to make yourself smile. So that's how
38:39
Speaker 3: I would love to be able to get back there
38:41
Speaker 3: to where I'm making myself smile again.
38:42
Speaker 2: I mean, think about, you've accomplished things that the younger
38:45
Speaker 2: version of yourself couldn't even imagine. That's enough reason to
38:48
Speaker 2: smile right there. The fact that you... Got the money
38:51
Speaker 2: and the platinum record, that's cool. But the thing that
38:53
Speaker 2: I thought super fly is the fact that you're able
38:54
Speaker 2: to build a compound. You got your whole family sitting
38:58
Speaker 2: on your compound, your mom and grandma and everybody else.
39:01
Speaker 2: You're able to take care of your partner partners. You
39:03
Speaker 2: done made it.
39:04
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I never said I didn't make it.
39:09
Speaker 3: I made it.
39:09
Speaker 2: But that's a reason to smile. That's the reason I'm
39:11
Speaker 2: saying that's a reason to smile.
39:12
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you right. You right.
39:14
Speaker 2: The version of you 10 years ago couldn't have been
39:15
Speaker 2: able to do that.
39:16
Speaker 6: Nah.
39:17
Speaker 3: Not at all.
39:18
Speaker 5: It's a journey. It comes with a lot, even though
39:20
Speaker 5: you reap a lot.
39:20
Speaker 3: I get it. Sure.
39:22
Speaker 2: Yeah.
39:22
Speaker 7: Well, I hope my son has some good advice for
39:25
Speaker 7: you for next time I see you, because he always
39:27
Speaker 7: got the advice.
39:28
Speaker 3: Tell him, look, tell him I'm high. I'm high. I'm good.
39:31
Speaker 3: I'm good, Ashton. I'm good.
39:33
Speaker 2: We're good. You and Rod Wave be having them kids crying, man.
39:35
Speaker 2: You heard that story Boogie told. Boogie said a little
39:38
Speaker 2: girl ran up on him and said, leave Rod Wave alone.
39:41
Speaker 3: And Boosie would be glad I ain't see him. I'm
39:43
Speaker 3: telling him the same thing. He leave Rod alone. He
39:47
Speaker 3: already going through enough.
39:48
Speaker 4: He's going through enough.
39:50
Speaker 3: I really hope we hear that.
39:51
Speaker 2: I really would love to hear a you and Rod
39:53
Speaker 2: wave project. I ain't even going to front. I ain't
39:55
Speaker 2: even going to front.
39:56
Speaker 3: That would be dope.
39:57
Speaker 2: But big extra plug, man. The album Better Over Time
39:59
Speaker 2: is out right now. Always a pleasure seeing you, brother.
40:01
Speaker 3: Y'all as well. That's right.
40:02
Speaker 2: It's the Breakfast Club.
40:03
Speaker 3: Oh, wow.
40:04
Speaker 4: You going to sign it for us?
40:06
Speaker 3: I will. I got you. Okay.
40:07
Speaker 5: And you're not independent, right? You're still United Masters?
40:10
Speaker 3: Well, that's my video. That's my distribution.
40:12
Speaker 2: Man, did they tell you look sad? Or you just...
40:14
Speaker 2: You don't.
40:16
Speaker 4: Even look sad.
40:16
Speaker 3: Some of these are all different pictures of me from like...
40:19
Speaker 3: The first picture, I had a shag. That's when I
40:21
Speaker 3: first started rapping.
40:22
Speaker 5: This don't look like you.
40:23
Speaker 2: These two don't look like you.
40:24
Speaker 4: No, they look just like him. And he don't look sad.
40:27
Speaker 4: He just looks regular.
40:28
Speaker 3: I mean, it's all over the time.
40:30
Speaker 2: Yeah.
40:31
Speaker 3: I had a shag the first picture. I had a
40:33
Speaker 3: curly afro the second one, the third one. That's... I
40:35
Speaker 3: had drinks.
40:35
Speaker 4: Locks, you had like the little lock or something.
40:38
Speaker 3: Yeah.
40:39
Speaker 4: I see the different hands.
40:39
Speaker 3: These is literally the faces off of each of, you
40:41
Speaker 3: know how all the faces off my albums disappeared? Yeah.
40:44
Speaker 3: Those are the faces from each of those eras. Dope.
40:46
Speaker 4: Fire. This was your idea? To do it like this?
40:49
Speaker 3: Oh, to do that, yes.
40:50
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is fire.
40:50
Speaker 3: As far as the faces disappear and shit, I'm going
40:52
Speaker 3: to give that to Brandon. But this right here, yeah.
40:55
Speaker 4: Nah, this is fire.
40:58
Speaker 5: Well, congratulations.
40:59
Speaker 3: That's right. Big extra plug.
41:00
Speaker 5: Congratulations on expressing yourself and getting here in the compound.
41:03
Speaker 3: That's right.
41:03
Speaker 2: It's the Breakfast Club.