Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Be a Great Mentee and Maximize Your Mentor Relationship
Transcript
- Lucas: So we talk a lot on this show about how to find a mentor, but once you have one, how do you actually make the relationship work? I think we sometimes forget that being a mentee is a skill in itself. Luna: Yeah, it's almost like the whole conversation is about the search, and then once you land someone, you're on your own. I've definitely had mentor relationships that fizzled because I didn't know how to keep them productive. Lucas: Exactly. There's actually some interesting data here. The American Psychological Association published a study showing that mentees who set clear, written goals with their mentors are 40% more likely to report career advancement within two years. So there's a real payoff to being intentional. Luna: Forty percent — that's huge. So what's the first thing a new mentee should do after that initial coffee chat? Lucas: I'd say the very first step is to define what you actually want from the relationship. Not just 'I want to learn from you,' but specific outcomes. For example, 'I want to improve my public speaking skills before the quarterly presentation in three months,' or 'I want to understand how to navigate office politics to position myself for a promotion.' Vague requests lead to vague meetings. Luna: Right, so you're essentially creating a mini- curriculum for yourself. And then you bring that to the mentor and ask for their input on how to get there. Lucas: Precisely. And this is where a lot of mentees drop the ball — they expect the mentor to set the agenda. But the mentor is already donating their time and expertise. The mentee should own the direction. I had a mentor once who told me, 'You tell me what you need, and I'll tell you if I can help.' That stuck with me. Luna: That's a great framing. So the mentee comes prepared with a goal, a proposed timeline, and maybe even specific questions. Then the mentor can either refine or redirect. Lucas: Exactly. And the second habit is active listening — but not just in the meeting. It's about demonstrating that you've actually absorbed and acted on their advice. If a mentor suggests you reach out to someone in another department, and you come back next time saying 'I did that, here's what happened,' that builds immense trust. Luna: Yeah, it shows respect for their time. And it makes them want to invest more because they see it's paying off. I read about a case at a Fortune 500 tech company where they tracked mentor-mentee pairs. The ones where the mentee followed up with a summary of key takeaways and action items had a 70% higher satisfaction rating from both sides. Lucas: That's a great stat. And it ties into the third habit: expressing gratitude in a tangible way. Not just a generic 'thanks' at the end of a meeting, but something specific. 'Thanks for that advice on handling conflict — I used it in yesterday's team meeting and it really helped de-escalate the situation.' That kind of specificity reinforces the mentor's impact. Luna: I think a handwritten note or a small gesture can go a long way too. But let's talk about the awkward part: what if the mentor gives advice that doesn't work? How do you handle that without seeming ungrateful? Lucas: That's a great question. First, recognize that not all advice will be perfect — the mentor is human. The key is to frame it as a learning experience. You could say something like, 'I tried your suggestion, but I encountered this challenge. Can we talk about what might have gone wrong?' That keeps the dialogue open and collaborative. Luna: So it's about bringing data back to them, not just saying 'it didn't work.' That's a skill in itself. Lucas: Exactly. And sometimes the mentor will say, 'Actually, that was a bad idea — let me think of another approach.' That vulnerability makes the relationship stronger. Now, I want to take a quick step back. If this show has helped you think about your own career decisions, we want you to know something. Luna: Yeah, go ahead. Lucas: A small group of listeners already chip in monthly at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that's what keeps this show ad-free and independent. It's not a big ask — just that if you find value here, consider being part of that group. Luna: I think that's a nice way to put it. It's a way to say 'I appreciate this' without having to write a long email. And it literally funds the production of more episodes like this one. Lucas: Exactly. So, back to being a great mentee. Another important practice is preparing an agenda for every meeting — even if it's just three bullet points in your notes. It shows you've thought about how to use the time well. Luna: I've started doing that and it's made a huge difference. I send my mentor the agenda a day before, and she actually told me she appreciates it because she can prep her thoughts too. Lucas: That's a win-win. And along those lines, don't be afraid to ask for feedback on the mentorship itself. Every few months, ask: 'Is this working for you? Is there anything I could do differently to make our time more valuable?' It shows you're invested in the relationship, not just taking. Luna: That takes confidence, but it's worth it. So we've covered goal-setting, listening, gratitude, agenda-setting, and feedback. What about the elephant in the room — how often should you meet? Lucas: Consistency matters more than frequency. Monthly is a good baseline for most professional mentorships. Weekly might be too much for a busy executive, but quarterly might be too little to build momentum. The key is to set a rhythm and stick to it. And if you can't meet, reschedule promptly — don't let it slide. Luna: And when the relationship naturally winds down — say you've achieved your goals or the mentor's focus shifts — how do you end it gracefully? Lucas: That's actually a topic for another episode, but briefly: be honest, express gratitude, and leave the door open. Something like, 'I've really appreciated your guidance. I feel I've grown a lot in these areas. I'd love to stay in touch, perhaps on a more casual basis.' That way it's not a goodbye, it's an evolution. Luna: That makes sense. So to sum up: being a great mentee is about ownership, preparation, and respect. It's a skill you can develop over time. Lucas: Exactly. And I think the best mentees are the ones who eventually become great mentors themselves — because they know what it's like on both sides. Luna: That's a nice closing thought. So next time you meet with your mentor, try implementing even one of these habits and see how the dynamic shifts. Lucas: For The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo, I'm Lucas. Luna: And I'm Luna. Thanks for listening.