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Gary Sanchez - A near death experience · Quarterback DadCast | Intentional Fatherhood & Leadership at Home

• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Welcome to season six, and I could not be more excited to have you join me for another year of fantastic episodes and conversations really unscripted and raw and authentic conversations with dads.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: If you're new to this podcast, really it's simple.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: It's a podcast where we interview dads, we learn about how they were raised, we learn about the life lessons that were important to them, we learn about the values that are important to them and really we learn about how we can work hard to become a better quarterback or leader of our home.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: So let's sit back, relax and listen to today's episode on the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox here with the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: We are in season six, which feels fantastic to say, because that means we've interviewed over 280-something dads everybody and we are not stopping.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: We got many more to go.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: This year I was lucky enough to be on our next guest podcast and his name is Gary Sanchez.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: He's the founder of the Y Institute.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: He might've spent some time with the one and only Simon Sinek.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: We're gonna learn about that.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: He also is the host of Beyond your Y podcast, where I was a guest on his show and it was so fun and you'll learn all about that.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: He also is a USC, trojan.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: I wonder if he knows Will Ferrell.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: We'll see if Carol will find out.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: But he's a speaker, he's an author, he's a dentist I don't think this might be the first dentist I've had on.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: He's a world championship racquetball player.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Everybody.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: That's a first for the quarterback to have cast Turned squash player.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: I think he's got some golf game too.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: But with all that said, that's great.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: But the reason why we're having Gary on today, because we're going to talk about Gary, the and continually works hard to become the ultimate quarterback or leader of his home.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: So, without further ado, mr Sanchez, welcome to the Quarterback Dadcast.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Awesome, casey.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Thank you, I appreciate it.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: This is going to be fun.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a lot of fun, so we always start out each episode with gratitude on the show.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I would say I'm grateful for the time that I got to spend with my kids over the holiday and I have two daughters now, one's 30 and one's 26.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: And that they, you know, I'm just proud of the women that they became or have become, and we got to spend a lot of time together and that they still want to spend time with us, right, and it's and it's fun.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: So I would say definitely grateful that I got to be with them.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: We were up in Denver and one just got engaged and the other is finding her new kind of found a new boyfriend that I think is going to be somebody special to her.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: So a lot of good stuff in their world.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Nothing makes you more happy at least it makes me happier than seeing my kids happy I could not have said it better, man.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: That's spot on and it's that's kind of speaks to my heart, because I uh, actually a linkedin post a few days ago.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: We're actually recording everybody in january, january 8th this will be up, so we'll come out in a month or so and, uh, I just had to send my son back to college.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Uh, his this week was this is first year, and he and he went back and then he was home for a month and so we got that awesome great time.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: And then we went back and we just flashback, remember how sad we were.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: So Sunday was a tough day, monday was easier, tuesday's better, and now we're kind of back in the swing of things.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to say I'm grateful for the same thing.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I was grateful for the time we got with him, um, and I'm also grateful for, uh, you know, sometimes life throws us these little, these curveballs sometimes and you know there's all there's, you know first world problems, there's third world problems, everybody's.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Probably it's it's your own problem and sometimes, when you go through little bumps in the road, um, it's fun to just be grateful for how you like, the kind of, all the skills you have in life, that kind of help prepare you to be able to like just kind of take a deep breath emotionally, go through them, search for answers, search for the to your word, search for the why.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: And it sometimes is when you kind of talk through things it just makes life a lot more easier from the relationships you build and you have in your life and versus just bottling it up and keeping it and pretending it's going to go away, because that never is it going to be a good answer or a good solution for sure.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: I totally agree with you.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Um, okay, so we got.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: So you are an empty nester?
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, correct?
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: Um, I love it how you do.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: So what was the before?
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: I dive into some other stuff like what was the hardest part about that and then what's been maybe the best part about that journey.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Well, you hit it right there with what you just said.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: I remember dropping my first daughter off at college and man cried all the way home.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: Oh man, she was not in the best dorm that we wanted her to be in.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: Her roommate isn't the one she wanted.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: It was just nothing about what we thought it was going to be for her is what she got and we couldn't change it.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: And here we are driving away, leaving her in a spot we didn't anticipate, and we're thinking what the heck did we just do?
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: And it all turned out fine.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: It always will, but it was not pleasant at that time and you know, things will never be the same.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: We'll never have her inside of our home like we did before.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: So those were the lots of.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: And then the same thing happened in the second one.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: So we have two kids and then when the second one we dropped her off, then we were completely empty nested.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: And then when the second one we dropped her off, then we were completely empty nested.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: And then, you know, we had to look at each other and say, do I even like this person anymore?
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: You know, like what the heck?
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: We've had our whole life in raising these two daughters and now we don't have that.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: And I think it was harder on my wife because she was a stay at home mom and so for me, I got back busy with what I was doing, with my work.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: She had to go home and spend all of her time, you know, not having that person or those two to take care of, and so that was harder on her, which made it harder on me, which I would like to you know.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: For those of you that are going to be going through that, like you, it does get better.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: In fact, it gets to the point where I was so happy they weren't home, because now we had our life back and we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: Everything wasn't based on their schedule, their calendar, what events we had to go to, what games we had to see, all that.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: We got to be selfish again, and there's something to be said for that as well.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Right, when you're a dad, you kind of disappear to a certain extent and everything gets based on your kids and what they want to do and what they got going on and where you got to drop them off and all that stuff.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: So are you kind of experiencing that?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: I can't even imagine, I mean that feeling what you described is so far out of luck.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I mean it's like I can't even imagine being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: I mean we have flexibility and I get I play golf still, which is great, and it's like kind of.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: But if I, if I went to my wife hey, let's, let's go to San Diego, like now, yeah, let's go fly, why not?
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Let's go see if there's any flights available Like to be able to do, that would be amazing.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Um, but, uh, I I just I really try to focus on being present.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Uh, I think having this podcast and interviewing, talking to so many dads, it's like I always joke with you what I mean.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: True, it's almost free therapy for me, because I helps me remind me what's most important things, helps me keep my you know my part of my French keep my shit intact and and focus on balance and looking for ways where I can always be better version of me and no one's ever going to be that person, but if I can work on being that person, it's a it helps.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: So Well, let's add a little bit more to that.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: When, at least in my house, my daughters got to the age of a senior in high school.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: They change again, and maybe it's their junior to senior year, but for us they changed again and went from wanting to spread their wings and you know the whole curfew thing and the however you run your house, they, they don't want to follow what you want and their life becomes more important to them than the family life.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: And they're they're ready to move on.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: And when they're ready to move on, uh, it scares us.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: It scared us, but it was so great because we were ready at that time for them to get out of the house because of the way they were acting.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: So it worked out.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Timing wise in the moment seemed like a bad thing.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: When you look back on it, you're like, yeah, they were ready, they were ready, we were ready, they went off to college, um, and the timing seemed like it was the way it was supposed to be.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: So if you have a kid now that's in their last semester of high school and they're not being the way they were from two years ago, it's okay.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: It's okay, man, they're going to go off, they're going to do their thing and they're going to come back and our relationship now with our kids is so much closer than it ever was, kind of like maybe back to when they were 10 years old and you were still important to them.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: Right now, they text us every day.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: We talk to them every day.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: There were times where we didn't even talk to our one daughter for months.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: She didn't want to talk to us.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Right, that's painful.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: Oh, I can.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is, it is.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: And now she's back to every day and the other one calls us every day and you know, so it's um.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Things get better and better and better they get.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: You know they're great.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Then they're not so good, then they're really not good.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Then they start getting better, then they get better, and now they're.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: Now they're like, they're our buddies, our friends.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: We love to do everything.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: You know lots of stuff with them where there was a time when they didn't want to have anything to do with us.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: So you may not experience that.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: No, we will, I bet yeah, we will.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm already seeing my, like my son.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: He's already.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: He's only been in college now for four months.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: The level of maturity from the summer until now is mind blowing for me.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Um, like at times he's actually been giving us some wisdom.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I'm like who's?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Oh wait, you're our kid, we actually made you.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: We we get to take some credit for some of that stuff.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: But like it's so fun to see um like one dad on the show.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: He actually was an empty nester.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: He actually got me on Snapchat, which I thought I'd never do, but I talked to my son on Snapchat every day.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: We have like 140 days streak.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: It's like I've learned what's called a snap streak.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: It's like, but it's fun, it's like that's connection and so just like anything, it's like I either can be stuck in my ways and oh, I'm going to do this, or just be open-minded and curious, which I think is one of the themes that kind of drives my life is be curious to learn and be curious to find.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Meet your kids where they are and try to like get something, and I find when I do that more, sometimes through self-deprecating humor, they open up more to me.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: One question I can ask you is so, if you look back what both your daughters are doing now, based on when they left either high school or college, are they doing exactly what you thought they'd be doing or they'd be doing something totally different than what you thought?
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: they'd be doing.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: So that's a great question and that kind of leads us into this whole concept of why Right?
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: So, for those of you listening, I, my company, is called the Y Institute and I develop the software that takes people through, figuring out why they do what they do, how they bring their why to life and what people can count on from them.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: So it gives them the words to tell the world exactly who they are right.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: People don't know what they want because they don't know who they are.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: Help them figure out who they are and it becomes infinitely easier to help them figure out what they want.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: So your kids have no idea what they want most.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Most of the time, most of them, and most of the time they don't have a clue what they want.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: I, most of the time, most of them, and most of the time they don't have a clue what they want.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: I remember back into high school, casey, and the worst question my parents friends could ask me was so what do you want to be when you grow up?
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: I hated that question.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you liked it, but I hated it because I didn't know how am I supposed to know.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: But I hated it because I didn't know how am I supposed to know and how am I supposed to figure it out?
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, find your passion, casey.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Go live your passion.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Well, thanks, mom, thanks, dad, that's wonderful.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: How do I do that?
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't know, but just go find it.
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, thanks, that's very helpful.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: And so I went off to college with no idea what I wanted to do Major of undeclared, kept that as long as I could, picked a major that I was getting a good grade and went to dental school because it was what my dad did and I knew the lifestyle, but it wasn't like my lifelong passion.
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: Now, my kids, I have one daughter who went through high school and college, not knowing her why, because hadn't figured it out yet and she had struggles.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: She didn't change her major multiple times, took six years, took a year off, didn't know what she wanted to do, barely graduated.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Her experience was more about partying and getting through.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Not being wasn't an amazing experience for her.
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: The other one was very clear on her why, how and what, from the time she was, you know, in high school, knew, helped, figure out exactly what she wanted to do.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Figure out exactly what she wanted to do, went on that exact path, had an awesome time in college, was involved in all kinds of stuff in college and is living her dream job now.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: And I think they both are living their dream jobs now.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: But it took one of them a long time to get there and the other one knew from way back in high school exactly what she wanted to do direct path to it.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: So that's one of the keys For those of you that are listening if you can help your kids figure out who they are at the youngest possible age age, their runway to live that will be that much longer.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Their basis for making decisions will be so much easier for them.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: The conversations you can have with them are completely different when you know who they are, because what we typically do is tell them what you would, what I would do here.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Well, here's what I would do, here's what I think.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: This is what I would do in my day.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: Well, they don't care what you would do.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: Right, they care what they would do.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: But if you don't know who they are, all you can do is tell them what you would do.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: So that those are the big differences I had with one daughter and the other.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: The first daughter that didn't know our conversations were as little as she could talk to us because she didn't want us to ask her questions about anything, right, she wanted to just be left alone when.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: The other one, who we knew who she was and she knew we knew who she was and she knew who she was, were very profound and very deep, and she comes to us with any kind of decision because she knows we can help her and we understand her at that level.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: So all the way along she asked us questions.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: One didn't ask us anything, didn't really want to talk to us at all, and one wanted to ask us about everything.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Do you think?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: that's how they were wired or do you think that's how they were wired or do you think that's something you guys did differently?
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I think it was something that they had differently.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: The first one had no idea who she was.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: So the first one was like the queen bee in her class.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: When they were young, when they were in elementary school, she was the leader of the pack.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: She was the girl that everybody ran out to carry her books.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: You know, everybody wanted to be around.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: She was a very quiet leader.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: She didn't want attention, but for whatever reason she got attention.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: And then, when we got to middle school, all the drama started and instead of trying to be the leader and squash it or control it or be a part of it, she didn't want to have anything to do with it and a lot of the girls turned on her and so it wasn't a pleasant time middle school and the beginning of high school for her, and so she didn't know who she was.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: She kind of lost herself and that was.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: Those were some challenging times.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: The other one and I thought that was going to be the daughter that was going to be very easy.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: She was a rule follower, she did things by the book.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: She was easy.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: In fact, our first, our first daughter, was so easy that we thought we were God's gift to parenting.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you other people just don't know what you're doing.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Right, we put her down, she goes to sleep, she stays in her bed till we wake up and come in together.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: I mean, it was just so easy.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: And we're like, yeah, you guys just must not know how to do this.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: And then we had the second one.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Then we had the second one and realized we had no idea what we were doing.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: We were just lucky with that first one.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: The second one was, you know, colic got spallom, meningitis, almost.
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, just so many crazy things happened to the second one.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: We realized we had nothing to do with this.
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: And so the um, as as we were going along the the first one, her name's bella, you know, she had her struggles and um eventually overcame them.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Second one's name is Jacqueline, and we thought she was going to be the terror and she turned out to be very easy.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: So the one that was supposed to be easy was not, the one that was supposed to be hard was not.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: But the difference was one was clear on who she was or is and the other was not clear and was trying to find herself.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: First one knew.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: The second one was looking so.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that was helpful, but that's what we experienced.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a deep thought, because I think everybody's different.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Even though it takes some like, some can find it really, really easy.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: And even though you think you found it, that could change or it might take a little bit, but all those journeys of when you find it, I would bet it'd be interesting to see people who find it right away versus people who struggle a little bit and they find it Like what's more valuable.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Is it more valuable because I had to fight for for it, so I developed some grit and resilience, or is it?
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: Is it better because it was easy and I knew what I wanted to do since day one and I knew my why, and this is what serves me, gets me out of bed and fires me up.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: So it'd be.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know that might be for another well, the earlier they are, that they find it, the better decisions they're going to make, the further they're going to get.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Faster Makes sense.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I've seen it over and over and over.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: When you know you figuring out what you want, that's one of life's most challenging questions.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Casey, what do I want?
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: You have an unlimited menu and you got to go pick one thing.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like, what do you want to do out of the unlimited choices here?
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Which one do you want?
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: I don't know how the hell, how am I supposed to know that If you know who you are?
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: So here here's a really critical thing.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: If what you or your children choose to do with their life is in line with their why, how and what why they do what they do, how they bring their why to life and what people can count on from them they will have passion for what they do, they will love what they do, and passion is the fuel that gives you the energy to pursue your dreams.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Without passion, you give up.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: With passion, you persevere.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: So the earlier you can find that, the longer the runway that you have to live, that the more impact you can make, and that's why it's so critical to help them figure out who they are.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: I have one way to do it finding their why.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: There are other ways, but again, the younger they are, that you help them find it, the different kinds of conversations that you can have with them.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Does that make sense Totally?
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: I mean I want to make sure I get to something that I always ask my guests.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: It always kind of brings it back.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: But I might come back to what you said because like that spoke to me big time, because like, um, I was my, why, my passion, like I knew I wanted to be our starting quarterback in high school.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: More than anything.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Why did you want to be that?
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: I don't know, I just because I love football, yeah, can we talk about you for a minute.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Sure, but I want to make sure this is about you, but we'll do it briefly.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, we can do this.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: So for me, I think it was good.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Well, let me talk.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Let me so your audience knows you, and let's talk about your why, how and what, so that they can see you from that perspective.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: They know what you've done and they know your podcast and they know a lot about your life.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: But when we went through and figured out your why, why does Casey do what he does?
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: Casey's why is to create relationships based upon trust, right?
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Trust a big deal to you, right?
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: Trust, humility, vulnerability and curiosity.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, not much more important than trust, though, right.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: If I can't trust you and you can't trust me, not much going to happen, right?
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: It's going to be tough, I'd say it's fair.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: If I break your trust, does that just kind?
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: of annoy you, or is that?
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: like a knife in the gut.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Knife in the gut, yeah, it's a deal breaker.
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: And then how you do.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: What you do, though, is by diving, create a looking for mastery, diving in really deep.
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: You know a lot about a lot.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: You don't do things at a surface level.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: You dive in real deep, right Then.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: Ultimately, though, what you bring is a way to contribute, add value, have an impact on other people's lives.
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: You want to be that pebble that starts the ripple effect that goes on and on in the lives of others, so being that trusted source, being that one that others can count on, is that important to you Big time.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: Who's the quarterback?
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: What does the quarterback do on the team?
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go, yeah I.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: It's like they the the feeling I get when people look me in the eye and an accountant on me and, uh, knowing I got their back, they got my back and we're going to compete.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Um, like that, that field up, that jacks me up you're the guy I gotta trust you.
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: You gotta trust me or there's nothing gonna happen.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah and you've probably been that everywhere along the way.
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: That's what the position you want to be.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I still remember my last, my senior year in college.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: I got so how many offensive linemen play in a game on average Four, Five, Four Five.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: Five.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Tackle guard, center guard, tackle for five.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Guess how many all-league offensive linemen I had my senior year in college.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: How many, what First, how many all-conference honors did I have?
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: So first team, second team are honorable mention Of those five, how many did I have?
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: All five, six.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: Six.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: So one of the backups even got all conference.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: So I was so blessed and so at the end of my college career, my, the guy that would always interview me, interview me after the games.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: He, he didn't know that and so my mind was why are you interviewing me after the games?
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: Why don't we interview in alignment like this is something that's ever happened before.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: So, as you're thinking, I mean, that story triggered my head Like I was serving them back at 22, 23 years old.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I was more about making them happy.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: And then, as a coach now a leadership sales coach I tell people I'm done beyond stages, like being, if I won, sales memory or whatever.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: I want to help you do that now, and that fills my tank.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Same thing as back to fatherhood.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: I want to help my kids learn from my failures.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: Same thing as back to fatherhood.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I want to help my kids learn from my failures.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: If you want to, I'll share them all, and if you can learn to go down the same path for me, then the world's a better spot.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: You win, I win, you know.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: But if I don't know, you triggered that thought that I want to share.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: So what we were talking about as well is if we put you in a place let's say I was coaching you or you were my kid, or whatever and we put you in a place where people don't trust you it's very surface level and you're not having an impact.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: How's that going to work out for you?
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Probably not.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: I'm probably going to get fired because I'll be too sarcastic and I'll be like this guy's got a screw loose, get him out of here.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: But if we put you in a place where you get to be that trusted source, where people are counting on you, where you get to dive in deep and look for the nuances, the little things that make the big difference, and you get to help others have a bigger impact, how are you going to feel about that?
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: You're going to have unlimited energy for that right.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: So when you know that about your child, you know that about somebody you're working with, the conversations that you and I can have now that I know that are so different than me trying to look at what you've done and figure it out.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: Try to help you and tell you what I would do.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Here's what I would do.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: I'm your parent.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: This is what I would do.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: Well, you don't care what I would do, right?
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: You want to do what you want to do, and so it allows us to have different conversations.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: It allows me to guide you in a way that will lead you to something you're really going to enjoy doing.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: Figure out what to say yes to, what to say no to Figure.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: Figure out what to say yes to, what to say no to.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Figure who to hang out with.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: There's so many things that you'll learn when you can help somebody figure that out.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: No, I love that.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I mean, as someone who teaches curiosity, who was obsessed with curiosity, that like definitely speaks to me with what you said.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: I love how you kind of painted the parallel and brought me back to like I mean I, that's why, yeah, I mean I funny you said painted the parallel and brought me back to like I mean I'd say, yeah, I mean I, I funny.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: You said I've actually said this to people.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like I still play quarterback, but my state, the stages you get to speak to people or your company, your, your training, you do it's.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: It's just a smaller huddle or I don't have my helmet on.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: You know jockstrap right now though We'll leave that visual out.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, we're just.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: This is a head and above podcast, so I want to.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: I want to pivot real quick.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: I want to learn.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: I want to go back in time to learn about what was life like for you growing up and and how did your parents shape you into the into the dad you are today.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so growing up, um, I had two parents at home.
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: My dad was a dentist, my mother um stayed at home and there was five of us um older brother, older sister, younger brother, younger sister.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: Four of us were kind of clumped together and then one came about eight years later.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: So she kind of grew up as an only child basically.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: But my parents were at everything for us and they were very encouraging.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: Yet they had high expectations.
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: It wasn't whether you were going to go to college, it was where are you going to go to college?
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: Whatever you do, you were expected to do.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Well, it wasn't.
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: You know, sports was a big deal for my family and myself, and so we were involved in all kinds of sports from the time we were very young.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: I got a lot of attention from my dad for sports that I played.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: Basketball was my sport for the longest time and I was one of the better players in our area.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: But I didn't grow, and I in fact I was so short by the time I was like 12 or 13 that they took me to the doctor to get growth hormone shots to try to get me to grow.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: So the idea of being a basketball player kind of faded just as racquetball came on the scene and my dad was a handball player and he owned the.
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: He was one of the owners of the large, first mega gym in Albuquerque, which you know, which had 20 racquetball courts, basketball, swimming pools, restaurant, bar, all that kind of stuff in it.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: So I started working there and I would sweep the courts and clean the toilets and all that stuff, and then I moved my way up to the snack bar and I finally graduated to the front desk where I would schedule courts and stuff, but I play.
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: That's where I was introduced to racquetball, where it didn't matter how tall you were.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: So my biggest challenge was I didn't grow Turned into my biggest win, which was switching to a sport where it didn't matter, and then I progressed real quickly and I was the best one in my area for all that time.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: But you know, my parents were always there for us, always encouraging.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: My mom had five only children, right, so she treated each of us like an only child and just, uh was very, very encouraging.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: So, um, you know, did they have a perfect marriage?
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: No, did they have their challenges, like most every couple?
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they were, you know, had their.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: Um, I guess they were not close.
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, they did everything together but they bickered a lot.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: Let me just put it that way.
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: They were kind of a bickering parents.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: So my dad was not very good on emotion.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: He was more about achievement.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: My mom was on achievement and the emotional part as well, so I feel blessed in that way.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: My dad was a dentist, so we had opportunities to do things.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: We weren't wealthy by any stretch of the imagination.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: He had five kids that he paid to go to private school.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: Education was a big deal, paid for all of us to go to college, most of us to go to medical or dental school.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: You know, four out of the five of us were physicians or dentists.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: So it was education number one.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: Education number one, sports number two, but education number one.
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: So I got recognition for when I found better ways to do things like if I could find something that was better than what was currently out there, or an innovation, or my dad would notice it, and so I was always looking for better ways to do things, which is my why, by the way, is to find a better way and share it.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: So again, sports, and as I got better and better in racquetball and I started traveling around going to tournaments and I went off to college and I played in college and I would play tournaments around the country.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: They would follow me, they would go with me.
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: They were very supportive.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: You know they they love to be part of that and I loved having them as part of it.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: So cool.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: So our mom and dad still with us?
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: No, no, surprisingly, my mom was, you know, like the queen bee of queen bees.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: She was the leader of the.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: Anything she did, she was very, very good at it.
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: Everybody loved her.
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: I never once heard her say a negative thing about anybody, not one time in my life.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: She was so positive.
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: At age 60, she got into real estate, became the number one salesperson in Albuquerque at age 60.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: She started a little clothing line out of our house and she was the number one in the nation.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: She was just very driven and very good at it because she made other people feel good.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: That was her gift making other people feel special.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: And then my dad but she was in a car wreck very minor one, very minor bumped her head and she got trauma-induced dementia, which I didn't even know existed at like age 74, and she passed away in her late 70s.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: So it was painful to watch her go through what I saw as one of my heroes to well.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: You know what happens in dementia to where she couldn't swallow, couldn't breathe, didn't know us.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: Didn't you know any of that?
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: And then my dad, you know, was closer to her in her illness than he was to her in her health and he took care of her when she got dementia, until it took him down and he ended up getting blood clots in his lungs and then they went to his brain and and he had a stroke and anyways he ended up passing away at 88.
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: So he let, he made it to 88.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: , she made it to probably 78.
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: Good run for him.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: Good run for him.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: So that's kind of my story about parents.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: I had you know, is there such a thing as perfect parents?
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: No, but I had two good ones and they were with us at part of our life, you know, for a long time, and so I know what it's like to lose a parent with dementia.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: My dad passed away December 29, 2021, of dementia Well, that was one of the many things, but I and my wife and I helped take care of him from like age 24 through 46.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: He died at 46?
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: I mean, no, he died at 79.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, but my dad was in and out of assisted living facilities, psych wards, uh, every health thing you can imagine.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: So I me and my wife dealt with something that most people deal with and they're like their fifties managing their parents.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: We did it, we dealt with it at age 23.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: Wow, brutal.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: But just like the optimist in me.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: I said I mean, there was times I was like bitter and at one point I searched caregiver burnout.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: I had like nine of the symptoms.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: Uh I.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: But I kept telling myself I, I don't have a spiritual side of me, I don't like I'm not, I don't go to church every sunday, but I, I kept telling myself, man, god, I know I can handle this, I know I.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: And I just kept telling myself that you wouldn't ask me to do this.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I didn't handle it, couldn't handle it.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: And you know the vows of marriage and you're to death the apart.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Like my wife signed up for that and, man, she stepped up big time.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: So I know what it's like to lose a parent.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: So sorry I had to go through that.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I had to go through it too.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: So tough yeah.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: Painful, painful.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: And then the other scary thing is that now you're next in line, you know both of mine are gone.
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: I'm next in line.
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: I don't like that.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: I don't like thinking about that.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: It's there's nobody between me and there's no grandparent, there's no parent, there's me and off to heaven.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: So it's a it's a weird place to be.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: There's nobody there that was your protector, that was your person to go to for those challenging questions.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: There's no one to keep the rest of the family together.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: My mom was the glue.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: She's gone and we just kind of haven't been the same ever since, and so it's just the natural part of life.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: And I remember when we were going through all of that, why, kept crossing my mind, why is my mom going through this?
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: What is the purpose of this?
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: This is excruciating for her.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: She doesn't know it, but it is.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, that was one of her fears.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: Never let me go through this, never, if this ever happens to me, put me out of my misery, was what she would say.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: Well, now she gets it and we can't do anything.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: And those were some painful last four years, five years, and that's a long time to watch someone go through that as you.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: You are.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: You know I'm preaching to the choir there, but it um.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: I always wondered why did I have to go through this?
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: And then as a dentist.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: So I was a dentist for 32 years and as a dentist after my mom passed away, a lot of my patients would come to me and ask me what to do now that they're going through the same thing, and that's when it dawned on me.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: That's why I went through this so that I could help somebody else that's coming along after me.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: And you learn a lot about yourself when you're going through something like that with your parents.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: You don't want to learn it, but you're forced to learn it, and I was able then to mentor and work with many of my patients who were struggling with the same things that I struggled with when my mom was going through it.
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: Like you know, when do I get help?
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: What does it say about me if I ask for help?
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: What does it say about me if I have my mom goes into a facility versus in one of our houses?
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: You know all those questions that creep into your mind you get to help somebody with.
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: Like you would be awesome to help someone else that went through what you went through, right.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Power of vulnerability Going.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: I mean not being afraid to share this, sharing our journeys.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: It's like that's someone's going through it and if you help one person, that's kind of like my view on.
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: Like, I mean relating it back to like LinkedIn or social media.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Like, if I post something I'm not like, okay, how many likes did I get?
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: What were my impressions?
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I can get two shits about that, gary.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: My thought is, if I impact one person and he or she says, oh God, I'm so glad I read that, like this past Sunday, when my son went back to college, I was like I gotta write.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: I was like I want to just see if I can get some of this emotion out of me.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: And I wrote, just like to all my LinkedIn connections, those that are dealing with um sending off to sending the kid off to college.
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: I'm sad with you too, and I just want it was like self-therapy for me, but like it generated shit, tons of comments.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: It generated shit, tons of interaction and that was shit, tons of interaction.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: And that was not the goal.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: The goal was help one person, but then I actually felt.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: I felt good because I was, ooh, I'm helping people.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: And then it brought connection with me and people I didn't, I kind of knew and didn't know, but like that's to me, that gets, that's that's my why, that fills my tank.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: Like creating these moments of connection, commonality, developing rapport, like building relationships, it's just fun.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Hello everybody.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: My name is Craig Coe and I'm the Senior Vice President of Relationship Management for Beeline.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: For more than 20 years, we've been helping Fortune 1000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: In fact, beeline's history of first-to-market innovations has become today's industry standards.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: I get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization?
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: And I say this it's simple.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: The guy flat out gets it.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Relationships matter.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience apply to every area of our business.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: In fact, his book Win the Relationship and Not the Deal has become required reading for all new members of the global relationship management team.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: If you'd like to know more about me or about Beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: And if you don't know Casey Jaycox, go to CaseyJaycoxcom and learn more about how he can help your organization.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: Now let's get back to today's episode.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: So 32 years as a dentist.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, dad, you know the stress of life.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: Tell me what takes you down the path of like I'm out, I'm going to go start at the Y Institute and get the pot.
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, how does that happen?
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I graduated from USC I'll take you back a little bit and when I graduated from, I went to USC dental school the gurus of that time.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: Their advice was build a great product and people will come Go out and do the best job you can.
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: People will naturally mysteriously find out about you and they'll come see you.
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: So I spent 20 years doing that, reaching the highest levels you could go to in dentistry, studying with the best mentors, building a beautiful practice, buying all the technology, training a great team.
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: And my practice wasn't growing like I thought it would.
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: I didn't stand out like I thought I should for the amount of effort and energy and money that I had put into this.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: Where most dentists take 20 hours of CE a year, I was taking 250 hours.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: I was flying in whoever was the best in the world at what I wanted to learn and they would work in my office.
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: They'd watch me, stand behind me and watch me work and we built an amazing practice.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: But I blended in with everybody else who said, yeah, I'm a dentist too.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: It drove me crazy, and that's when I saw Simon Sinek's TED Talk on Start With why that was in 2009.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: And I was like man, that's what I'm missing.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: I have a great what, but I don't know my why.
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: So I became obsessed with this why thing and so I called Simon.
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: I said hey, simon, I need you to help me discover my why.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: There was no really way to do it, so he and I spent about eight months together going back through my life, looking for clues, trying to figure it out.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: And when I finally figured out that my why is to find a better way and then share it, that's when my life really started to make sense to me.
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: I have a lot of patents and products and inventions that are better ways of doing things, and then I share them with the world.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: And so in my practice, we stopped talking about what we do crowns, bridges, fillings, all that fun stuff.
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: We started talking about why we do what we do, what we believe.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: We believe that life is better when you have great teeth.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: In fact, you can't have a good life with bad teeth.
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: And as we kept talking about why we do what we do and what we believe, that's when my practice really took off.
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: And as my practice took off, I started getting calls from other dentists and said, hey, can you help me do what you did?
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: So I went back and figured out a better way to help people figure out their why than what Simon knew what to do.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: So, instead of taking six or eight or 10 months, I could sit down with you, casey, in about an hour and help you figure out your why and then build your messaging, marketing and branding right in the spot.
• 43:36
  Speaker 3: And so I started doing this for anybody that would let me.
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: I did it for thousands of people for free over the next seven years all over the world on stages, on Skype.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: I'd bring somebody out of the audience on stage with me, discover their why in front of the audience and then build all their stuff right there on the stage.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: And as I did this over and over and over, I started to notice patterns and trends and similarities and I figured out that there's only nine different whys.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: That was the most important thing I figured out, because once I saw that, then I could help you figure out your why in about 15 minutes.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: Then I could gather more data.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: Then I could eventually develop the software in 2016 called the Y Discovery that just found your why and I gave it away to hundreds of thousands of people for free to test it.
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: And then, in 2021, I launched the YOS Discovery that finds your why, your how and your what and then build your message your message for you and it takes about eight minutes.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: Now I had done more why discoveries than anybody in the world, but I was only about 70% accurate.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: 30% of the time I got it wrong.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: So if everything in your life is based on your why, it's pretty important to get it right.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: My software is a hundred percent accurate.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: It gets it right every time.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: Okay, so that's how I got to the why and the why developing all this, and so I've been working on this for about 16 years and at the same time, I was trying to be a dentist, so I'm trying to bring this why thing to the world.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: At the same time, I'm trying to be a very high level dentist and do all this intricate.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: You know exquisite dentistry and eventually you get to the point where you're not doing that great at either of them.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: All right, you can't be everything to everybody, so I bow one foot in each thing.
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: Well, about four and a half years ago, I went to maybe five years ago, I went to this event in Santa Fe called Zazobra.
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: Zazobra is like a Burning man type thing, but it's just a one night more of a show.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: Last one night was for a buddy's 45th birthday party.
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: It was like 20,000 people there and of course we ate and drank a little bit too much and I wake up the next day with a headache, right.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: So I take a couple Advil, go back to bed.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: One of the Advil didn't dissolve and it lodged in my GI tract and it burnt a hole right where there was an artery and I started to bleed internally and I didn't know it.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: So I'm just not feeling good and I drive all the way back from Albuquerque to Santa Fe, which is about an hour, and I even go to the gym and work out.
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: I think I'm going to work this off, Just feeling crappy.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: I get home and I just start throwing up blood.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: Blood's coming out everywhere, and so I go to the hospital.
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: It was a busy weekend.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: They made me wait 11 hours the hospital.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: It was a busy weekend.
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: They made me wait 11 hours.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: By the time I finally got admitted my blood pressure was 60 over 30.
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: I'd lost half of my blood and I wasn't in a private room because it was so busy.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: So I get up to go to the restroom and I locked the door behind me.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: As soon as I locked the door I pass out, I hit my face on the sink and I'm out on the floor.
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: And luckily I woke up, because I would have just bled to death.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: And when I wake up there's blood everywhere.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: So I pushed the door open and I pass out.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: The next thing I know I wake up in this bed and they've cut all my clothes off.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: I have the two pads on me.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: They revive me, take me off to surgery to try to get to that bleed.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: And me, they revive me, take me off to surgery to try to get to that bleed.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: And they couldn't get to it where it was okay to.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: They couldn't get to it without cutting me open, and so they just waited.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: And then they did a CAT scan to see if I'd stopped bleeding.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: So they pump all this dye into my arm and they blow out my arm.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: My arm starts filling up with blood clots.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: So now they have to do an ultrasound and they see the blood clots are getting close to my lungs.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: So the doctor comes in and he says Gary, we got to stop those blood clots because if they get into your lungs you're going to die.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: But if we try to stop those blood clots, we can't get to the bleed in your GI tract and you're going to die.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: I said well, what are we going to do?
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: He says I don't know.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: Luckily, right then my phone rings and it's a buddy of mine who's a cardiologist in the hospital.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: He said hey, gary, I didn't even know you were in here.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: He says I don't like what they're going to do.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: He says so I'm going to take over.
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: So I was in the ICU for nine days.
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: A lot of crazy stuff happens to you in the ICU.
• 47:51
  Speaker 3: If you've ever been in it as a patient, you know there are no.
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: I learned this.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: There are no bath, there are no showers in the rooms of the people on the ICU floor because most people don't get out.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: And now I'm in there.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: I'm like what the heck?
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: So eventually what happens is I have to go to bed with an IV of heparin to stop the blood clots and hope that I don't bleed, and luckily I didn't.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: And then they could treat everything with blood thinners and eventually I could get out.
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: So I get out and I go back to my practice and one of my patients who's in his mid eight80s takes me aside and he said hey, gary, you know you got a second chance on life here.
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: He says when you get to be my age and you look back on your time here, are you going to be glad that you stayed a dentist or are you going to wish you'd taken this Y thing to the world?
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: I said I'm going to wish that I'd taken this Y thing to the world.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: He says well then, you know what you need to do.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: And so that's when I walked away.
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: I practiced at that point was on fire.
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: I was working three days a week, making a lot of money, four day weekends every week.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: Could have just wrote it out, but I walked away and I started bringing the Y Institute to the world.
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: I didn't know what I was doing, no idea what I was doing.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: What does a dentist know about speaking on stages or building software or any of this?
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: None, I made a lot of mistakes.
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: So discovering your YOS can it make your life easier?
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: Can it make it more challenging?
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: For sure, but it makes it so much more fulfilling.
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: What I'm doing now pales in comparison.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: I mean, it's so much more than what I ever thought it could be.
• 49:42
  Speaker 3: It's what I should be doing, it's where I should be spending my time, and it's so much more fulfilling.
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: So that's probably way more than you wanted to know.
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: No, I love it, man, it's fricking.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: I love so glad you shared it with me.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: How did this journey, how did that experience and then the journey on.
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: You know, how did that change your?
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: How did it change you as a dad, or maybe your outlook as a dad?
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: You know, when I was told I was going to die my kids, I was wondering should I get them in here?
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: They were both off in college.
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: Should they come in to town?
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, it makes you think about what's important and where you want to spend your time.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: Right, and I don't know if you've ever been in a place where you had thousands of people praying for you.
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: I never have.
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: I never experienced that until then.
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: And so my daughter started this whole prayer group and so there were thousands, and my wife did, and so there was thousands of people praying for me, and it's really humbling.
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: And it's really humbling to experience that because it's like you can't fail them.
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: It's really weird.
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: It's a weird space to be in.
• 50:59
  Speaker 3: It's not just about me Not me, but me surviving.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: It's like what about all these other people that are praying for you?
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: And it changed things quite a bit.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: So it really does make you think about what's important and where you want to spend your time, and how much time do you have left and what are you going to do with it, right?
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: Am I going to keep doing what I was doing?
• 51:23
  Speaker 3: And at that point I'd already been a dentist.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: You know, 30 years.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Is the next patient, the next filling, the next, this, the next?
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: That going to be going to light my fire to you know?
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: Or is helping people figure out who they are?
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: I always felt like I was playing small.
• 51:42
  Speaker 3: So for you listeners, maybe you're at a place where you feel like you're not, you've muted yourself, you're not playing to the level you know you can, playing to the level you know you can.
• 52:00
  Speaker 3: I can tell you when you take that step and you actually step out and start playing even bigger man, is it motivating?
• 52:06
  Speaker 3: Man, is it exciting?
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: It just brings that fire back and that passion back and I could talk YOS, talk what we're talking about 24-7.
• 52:17
  Speaker 3: Like you know, I just got done with an eight-hour conference and I could still talk this for the next five hours if you want, because it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: When you find your calling, it's so different than a job, so different than a career.
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: A career is different than a calling and you'll find your calling right.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: You'll find your calling when you know who you are.
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: Otherwise, you're just relying on hope.
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: I hope this is exciting.
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: I hope I like this.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: I hope I hope.
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: It's funny you say that we're calling Gary.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: I've actually been.
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: People said how did you, how'd you know you want to get into, like coaching and speaking?
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like I didn't happen on accident.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: I didn't mean to do this.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: I didn't.
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: When I left corporate, I knew I wanted to write a book and start a podcast.
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: That's all I knew I wanted to do.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: And then this, this happened serendipitously.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: But now I'm like it is a thousand percent what I'm supposed to do.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, a thousand percent what I'm supposed to do.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: And the the belief I have in myself not arrogance, confidence, because I know what I'm talking about works through and I have years of failure to tell people if they want them, if they want to know and the number of people I've said no to because I'm like I'm not going to try to convince you to hire me.
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: That's not going to.
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: That's both of us are going to lose.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: No, thank you.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: Find someone else.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: I wish you the best.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: I can even try to help you find somebody, but, like to your point, you say that calling them.
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like I work a day in my life right now.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: Love it.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: You know, again, if what you're doing is in line with your why, how and what you'll find your calling because you'll love, you'll have that passion that's unstoppable.
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: Who for?
• 54:03
  Speaker 2: For people listening and I guess I, there's two things.
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: I hope they got one, I hope their, their jaws are that close now and not jaw dropped, like mine almost was.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: But I hope they have inspiration to say if I'm in a job that sucks, then get out of it and help, and Gary's work will help you find it.
• 54:17
  Speaker 2: He's got stories for days, he's got clients for days.
• 54:20
  Speaker 2: It's there's so it.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: Life's too short to just say, well, this is my path.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: I guess I gotta be a you know.
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: No, you don't.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: I don't believe that.
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: I do not believe that.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: And so for those listening are is there, is there a certain type of demographic or person or job, or that you kind of finally help, or is it maybe all over the board?
• 54:43
  Speaker 3: that that we help work with well, anybody who's.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Really.
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: What we help with is uncertainty, you know, if you're uncertain about who you are, if you're uncertain about what direction you want to go, if you're uncertain about how to make a decision, if you're uncertain about what direction you want to go, if you're uncertain about how to make a decision, if you're uncertain about finding your passion and your purpose and your fit and your direction, it doesn't mean you have to take action right away, but just knowing where you want to go next will light your fire to get you there.
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: If you don't know and you're just stuck, that's not a good place to be right.
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: Maybe you're there right now and that's okay, because I was too.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: Dentistry luckily afforded me a good lifestyle, but it wasn't necessarily what I should have been doing.
• 55:39
  Speaker 3: But I didn't know what else I.
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: It takes a lot of pain and a lot of.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: Look what I had to go through.
• 55:49
  Speaker 3: I can tell you, casey, I don't know if I would have made this decision had I not gone through what I went through.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: I was comfortable.
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: I had invested a lot into being a premier dentist, not a little, I mean a lot, many millions of dollars In courses, in equipment, and I mean on and on and on.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: So to walk away from that is.
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I would have made that choice had I not experienced what I went through.
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: You know, have you ever?
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: Do you remember back to that one TV commercial with I think it was T-Mobile, where the guy's walking and he's like, can you hear me now?
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: And then he'd go a little can you hear me now?
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: Well, I kind of felt like that was God talking to me along this journey.
• 56:48
  Speaker 3: You know my I, I, uh, I tore my rotator cuff on my right arm, you know, and racket sports was my thing and I couldn't use my right arm for years and I was like all right, gary, I'm going to slow you down.
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: Can you hear me now?
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: No man.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: I can't hear you.
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: I got this, I got this.
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: Okay, all right.
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: All right, you got this.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: And then, you know, I went to that event and I woke up with a headache.
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: Can you hear me now?
• 57:14
  Speaker 3: No, I can't.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: I got a bleed in my internal.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: Can you hear me now?
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: No, I got this, I got it.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: I can hear.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: I can't hear.
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: I don't need you.
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: All right, how about I blow out your arm?
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: Can you hear me now?
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: No, no, I got this.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: How about we're going to tell you you're going to die?
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: Or are you loud and clear?
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: Loud and clear.
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: No, I don't got this, I don't got this.
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: And sometimes it takes that getting your butt kicked to say, okay, maybe this isn't the right path for me.
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: Maybe I need to evaluate this, because I don't know that I would have made it otherwise.
• 57:56
  Speaker 3: What made you make the decision to switch the voice in my head?
• 58:02
  Speaker 3: What was the voice saying?
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: There's bigger things for you to do.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know.
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: I kept coming up and then I then, all of a sudden, I had clients tell me.
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: He said there's one.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: One client specifically said Casey, when I talk to you this is really hard for me to say, but this is what she said she goes case, when I talk to you it's different when I talk to everybody else your company it's not the same way to go out and change the world.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm like what are you talking about?
• 58:27
  Speaker 2: And then on my birthday she wrote she's a.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: She was a head of design at a massive company in America and she wrote she designed a t-shirt for me which I won't wear out in public because it'd make me look like a massive egomaniac, but I still kept.
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: I kept it and it says really pretty design.
• 58:43
  Speaker 2: It says navigating enterprise, written by Casey Jaycox.
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: I go what's this?
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: She goes that's the book I want you to write.
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: You taught me more about corporate America, how to navigate my own company.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: You know more about this company than I do.
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know how the hell you did it, but you do.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: And go help people, go change people.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: And I'm just like and then I then I came across a couple of books that serendipitously came through my life.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: I'm like, and it kept happening, it kept happening and all of a sudden I was like, and then finally one day I told my wife I'm like I can't do it anymore, I'm burnt out.
• 59:12
  Speaker 2: And then I remember going to my my boss at the time and I'm like I want to stay, I want to find some dirt, but I think the path I'm on and basically what you guys want me to do doesn't line up with what I want to do.
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: And so we agreed, we had this like really nice exit and next thing, you know, I just took some time off, wrote the book, started the podcast, and then this found me and this is what I'm supposed to do and it is.
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: I don't look back and people are like did you walked away from so much?
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like no, I didn't, I don't, I don't.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: That's maybe one perspective.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: I walked to an amazing opportunity.
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not making as much money as I once did, I don't care, but I'm so fulfilled I'm just.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I make an.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: I make enough to be happy of serving and the currency of like impacting lives is, freaking, the best currency I've ever touched smell so what's the common denominator between our stories?
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: that other person, that mentor that lead, that person that said what we needed to hear yeah, yeah, the 88 year old, and shout out to Andrea.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and so you never know when your words have an impact.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: I don't even remember who it was, I just remember that conversation.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: It's so weird, I can't remember who said it to me, but I just remember he was this older man in my practice and I can't tell you now even who it was.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: You'll come to your bed.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: It's funny you said that I have a ninth grade when I was like I was five, nine.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: I didn't grow.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: I was five, nine, a buck 40, skinny quarterback, not a good arm, not athletic, and I was like I don't know if I'm gonna play quarterback anymore.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: To my buddy's dad, chuck Lundowski you're listening and Chuck's goes what do you mean?
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: You're not playing quarterback case?
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: He's like I don't know.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: He's like you're playing quarterback next year.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not letting you quit.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: I'm like why am I quitting?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: I still don't want to play anymore.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: It's like why not?
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: He's like because you're good and you're gonna be a good quarterback.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Nice, when you and you're going to keep playing.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: I'm like eh.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't think you're hearing me Case, you're playing quarterback.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like okay, chuck, sorry, why is your dad getting so pissed at me?
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, if I didn't listen to him I wouldn't have had a chance to play in college.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: You know, like all these like, and I love looking for, like these moments, and so if I hope you have a page of notes, like I do, because there's a lot of when you slow down to have these types of conversations and what's silly about having a podcast you don't need a podcast to have these conversations.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: You need a phone number and a phone and a little curiosity, a little patience.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: And call your buddy, call your son, call your daughter, call your friend, call your dad, call somebody.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: Just hey, tell me how your day's going.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: I was thinking about you Ask more questions than you want to talk and watch what happens next.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: You know 40 minutes you're going to be talking to somebody, like I saw my mom recently and I said hey, mom, why don't you exercise?
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: So, oh, no, I'm just kind of busy with this and I go.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: You don't have 30 minutes to take a walk.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: Well, I guess I could.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: I go, let's do it, take a walk, let's take a walk with me.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: I want to go take a walk, oh, okay, I get home next day.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: She, hey, thanks for motivation Now.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: She's taking walks now every day.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: She's 76 years old, 75.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 2: It's like I didn't realize that was going to motivate her, but it did.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: Now I feel better about myself, yeah.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: So I think, relating this all back to this we kind of get ready to wrap here, gary as we think about this as fatherhood like this is the impact that we as dads can have on our families.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: You know, this is the impact we can have on so many people our teams, our marriages, our community, wherever.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: So I love Can I leave one last thing with everybody, please?
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 3: One of the things?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: I have some new dads around me that work with us and they asked me different questions about how our kids got to where they are now.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 3: And I said one of the things we did when we were young is we always said we had our sayings.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: Like you probably do as well, you have your sayings, but one of the real valuable ones was well, there's two.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: One of them was I would always say everything you do you're going to be.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: I used to say everything you do you're going to be good at, and I'd say do you know why?
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: And they would say why?
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: And I say because that's just the way it is.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: And then it got to the point where I would say everything you do you're going to be what?
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: And they would say good at it.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 3: And I'd say, how come?
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: And they would say because that's just the way it is.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 3: And they experienced that over and over and over.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: And now they say it.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: And then the other one was we created Team Sanchez.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: Right, my last name is Sanchez, so we had Team Sanchez, and that's even our name on our text as a family, team Sanchez.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: So they know they're part of a team and those little things, all the corny things that we said growing up or that I said to them growing up, I hear them saying them now.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: So, whatever you can implant in their head like this 85-year-old did to me and like your friend did to you, you remember.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: So be strategic about what you say over and over to your kids, because they remember it and they hear it and it makes them feel part of something.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: They're part of Team Sanchez.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: Now there's a certain way we act, there's a certain way we do things, there's a certain responsibility in being part of Team Sanchez, and so it's a little thing.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: I know it's probably, you know, just something small, but it can add up.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: I sweat the little things because the little things become big things.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: I love my thing and when you focus on those little things, those little habits, the fundamentals of what you're building, they become big things.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: What do you think they'll now do with their kids?
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: Right, Goes on, goes on, goes on.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: I say the things my dad said.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: I try not to say anything.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: My dad said my dad was really good at saying God damn it, casey, shut it up.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: He could drop the best GD bombs at me and I would start laughing.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: As a kid I love it.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: I've not been that to my kids yet.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: But pop, shout out to Mike, if you're up there listening, hope you're hoping to make a laugh in heaven.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: Um, if you had to summarize in a few actionable nuggets that dads can take from our conversation to become that better or ultimate quarterback of their home, gary, tell me what comes to mind.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: Be careful what you say.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 3: Make sure that what you say you know.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: They're going to tattoo it into their brain.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: Make sure you say you know.
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: I guess number one is help your kids figure out who they are, because then the conversations you can have with them can be even more impactful, because you can guide them to be who they were meant to be, and that's what they really want.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: They want to know their path, not your path, and if you don't know who they are, it's hard to be able to know how to guide them.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: I think that would be the most important thing Help them figure out who they are, whatever way you use, whatever that is, and they know it when they can say it.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: If they can't say it, they don't know it.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 3: That's the one thing that will be.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 3: The big benefit of knowing their YOS is it'll give them the words to say it, and then you've got a place to build from it, and then you got a place to build from.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: So when they know it, they can say it.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 3: When they can say it, they can be it and you can help them do it.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: So hopefully that was helpful.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: Super helpful.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: I got a page full of notes here, sir.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: I'm sure we've intrigued many people.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: I want to make it really, really easy for people to learn about Gary and the work you and your team are doing.
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 2: Tell us what's the best way, where we can find you.
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: How can I make sure people know how to get in touch with you?
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you can go to why institute, why institute dot com and I'll tell you what I'm going to do for your audience as well.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: If you want to discover your YOS, I'm going to give you a code where you can do it for half price.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: It's not expensive anyways, it's only $97, but I'm going to give you a code podcast 50.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: If you put in podcast 50, it'll give it to you for half price.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 3: So just put in podcast 50, it'll cost you 50 bucks For your whole family.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 3: You could do for not that much, but, man, the conversations you're going to have and the clarity you're going to gain from that will be priceless.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: So you can find me on LinkedIn under Gary Sanchez or Y Institute.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: Hopefully, our conversation today sparked some thinking on how to connect with your kids in a way that leaves that lasting legacy that you're going to be part of forever.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: There'll be a reflection of you.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: I will make sure all this is tagged in the show notes, gary, before I let you go.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 2: Now it's, though, it's time to go into the lightning round, which I go completely, which I go completely random on you.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to show you the negative.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 2: The negative hits have taken too many hits college football hits, not bong hits in college CT.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your job is to answer these questions as quickly as you can.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: My job is to make you laugh.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, true or false?
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 2: You are considered the Andre Agassi of racquetball, false.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, true or false?
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: When you play squash, you wear a singlet False.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: I almost giggled up my own joke.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 2: If I went, if I went into your phone, what would be the one song that would surprise your daughters that you listen to?
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: Sheesh, they wouldn't be a surprise to them because we like the same music, but it would be Daft Punk.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, any of the Daft Punk songs.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: They're the ones that turn me on to it, let me think what's your go-to exercise right now?
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: Pick a ball.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, ooh, pick a ball.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: That's Achilles waiting for me to blow out.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: I'm not jinxing you.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 2: I got to watch out for those, yes exactly.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: I'm not a competitor like you.
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: Tell I got to watch out for those.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 3: Yes, such a competitor like you.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: Tell me the last book you read that impacted you the AI Driven Leader.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, because it teaches me how valuable, where the world is going and how to be part of it.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: Ai Driven Leader.
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 2: I'm going to write that down.
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: It's really good.
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm writing that down.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: Hopefully you guys are to his home.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: Um, if you were to go on vacation right now, just you and your wife, tell me where we're going.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: Uh, portugal, it sounds fun.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: If I flew down to us, you're in Santa Fe, right, albuquerque, albuquerque.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: So if I came down to Albuquerque tonight, what are we going to have for dinner?
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: Red chili, for sure.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: I mean we.
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: I mean that's carne adobada and red chili.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: Carne adobada is pork marinated in red chili, that's baked and real tender, and then you put it in a burrito with red chili on top of it, and man, is that good.
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 3: I eat spicy food 90% of the time.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: Rarely do I not eat something spicy?
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: See, I get fearful of johnny cash in the morning.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: I gotta watch out for the old ring of fire.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so well.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: There's a whole story behind that.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: What you don't want to do is have red chili and then go to the balloon fiesta the next day.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 3: The balloon fiesta there's a half a million people there, and so you'll be in the middle of a half a million people and all of a sudden, you'll it'll cross, cross your mind.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 3: I better find a restroom.
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 2: Hopefully not airborne.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 2: I could be.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, and then you got to run Airborne's even worse.
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: I'd be a thunderstorm on everybody If there was to be a book written about your life.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: Tell me the title.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: Gosh, there's gotta be a better way.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, so, gary, there's to be a better way, okay.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: So, gary, there's got to be a better way, believe it or not.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: I believe it because getting to know you a little bit is is absolutely crushing it.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: Every bookstore sold out.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: They can't find on amazon, can't find in barnes and noble, it's not in any airports.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: So netflix has found out about it.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: They're going to make a movie about this book and they need and.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: But you are now the casting director and I need to know who's going to star gary sanchez, this new critically hit fantastic movie on netflix oh um matt damon, I thought you might go, robert redford oh, maybe go robert redford.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it'd be a good one too the natural, okay, yeah a little robert redford in you, I can see it there we go, we go.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it could be Robert Redford.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: I hadn't thought of that one.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: But Matt Damon's a good one too.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 2: I like Matty D.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, and then last question Tell me two words that would describe your wife.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: I would say Tina Turner.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 2: Thunderdome.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she has the why of challenge.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she has the why of challenge.
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 3: So I was gonna say fire, fireball, because she's so full of life and energy and big smile and, um, not scared of nothing and ready to uh, to just uh, you know, challenge the world and uh.
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: So maybe we'll go with fireball.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 3: That'd be even better.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 3: But at one point she used to have that tina turn Turner hair way back in the day and my brother would always call her Tina Turner.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: So but I'll go with Fireball.
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: There we go, love it All right, lightning round's over.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: We both giggled.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 2: This has been a fantastic episode.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: I know that we're a little bit longer than normal everybody but it was too good to keep to end.
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: And this is just the power of not having a script and the power of just listening and asking questions and building off each other and Gary, this has been what a great way to end my day.
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: It's been such a fun conversation.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: I hope that I know that we will impact many, many dads through this conversation.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe a mom or grandma, if you listen to, I'll make sure everything's linked in the show notes and I want to say thanks to everybody who continues to listen.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: I know this episode impacted you.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 2: So please do me a favor, find a few friends and text them the episode and ask them to listen.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: I don't make money on the podcast or everybody.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 2: This podcast I do for free.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: It's free therapy for me.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: We've had sponsors before we've, so we are looking for a maybe a new sponsor in 2025, but so many times great people think, oh you, you make money as a podcast.
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I don't.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 2: I actually spend money on the podcast, but it's so fun, it's so rewarding and I'm here to serve you all dads, and so all I would ask is just take time to leave us a review or take time to share an episode, because we're here to serve you and help you become a better father, a better leader in your own home.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 3: But, gary, thanks so much for your time, brother, and I really really appreciate you spending time with me today.
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 3: Thanks, casey.