Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / Justin Won an Award, But His Biggest Achievement Happened at Home

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Justin Won an Award, But His Biggest Achievement Happened at Home · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: It's our Friday edition of the Happy Families podcast, which
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  Speaker 1: means it's I'll Do Better Tomorrow, the podcast where we
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: reflect on the week that was and talk about how
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  Speaker 1: we can do things better as a family. Today, it's
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  Speaker 1: a podcast, though, with a little bit of a difference.
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  Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure how to approach this. Kylie has
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  Speaker 1: decided to take the reins. Give us a hook, what's
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  Speaker 1: in store. Tease us, Mrs. Happy Families.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Well, it's not very often we get you squirming your seat.
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  Speaker 2: And I don't even think your birthday interview did that really.
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  Speaker 1: No, that was fun.
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  Speaker 2: You really enjoyed that.
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  Speaker 1: I love talking about me from that, like, sharing stories.
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  Speaker 1: Insights and ideas, yes.
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  Speaker 2: But today is definitely one that has you feeling a
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  Speaker 2: little bit on edge.
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  Speaker 1: I literally don't know how to talk about this. And
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  Speaker 1: you said, if I say the wrong thing, you're going
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  Speaker 1: to walk out of the podcast studio. So I'm nervous
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  Speaker 1: about how to approach this. And I already didn't know
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  Speaker 1: how to approach it.
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  Speaker 2: Let's find out after the break.
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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, real parenting solutions every single day.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: It's Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. We are Justin and
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Kylie Coulson. Parents of six daughters. I'm the author of
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  Speaker 1: 11 books, host of a TV show on Channel 9,
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  Speaker 1: Parental Guidance. And we are doing something a little bit
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  Speaker 1: different with I'll Do Better Tomorrow today. As you know,
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  Speaker 1: we often use this Friday session not just to reflect
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  Speaker 1: on our family life and how we can help you
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  Speaker 1: to make family life better because of the mistakes that
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  Speaker 1: we're making or the learnings and insights we're having. But
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  Speaker 1: every now and again, it's a little bit of show
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  Speaker 1: and tell. It's a bit of news. And today, it's
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  Speaker 1: more of a news day.
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  Speaker 2: But as Mrs.
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  Speaker 1: Happy Family said, It's one that's got me, I don't know,
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  Speaker 1: a little bit tongue-tied, a little bit unsure of where
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  Speaker 1: to go and how to make it happen. So I'm
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  Speaker 1: letting go of the reins. It's over to you, Mrs.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Happy Families.
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  Speaker 2: If you've been listening over the last couple of weeks,
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  Speaker 2: we've had some big things happening in our lives, and
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  Speaker 2: this week is no different.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, we had a daughter leave home. We did a
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  Speaker 1: 50-kilometre walk that almost put us in hospital.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. And last Thursday, we attended an awards ceremony in
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  Speaker 2: with the University of Queensland. You did your undergraduate there.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I started my university career at UQ, St. Lucia,
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  Speaker 1: Bachelor of Psychological Science, four years, first class honours. Look
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  Speaker 1: at me go.
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  Speaker 2: And every year, the university selects a handful, a very
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  Speaker 2: small handful of alumni to celebrate their achievements in their
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  Speaker 2: various fields. This year, there were 18 recipients receiving a
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  Speaker 2: variety of awards. And you were on that list, Dr. Justin.
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  Speaker 1: This one's a weird one for me. I don't want
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  Speaker 1: you to walk out of the studio. So I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to try to... It's a privilege. It's just so bizarre
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  Speaker 1: to me that I'm just some guy who writes about
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  Speaker 1: parenting and tries to help families to be happier. So
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  Speaker 1: To end up, because they can select from 370,000 graduates.
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  Speaker 2: 370,000.
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  Speaker 1: And for whatever reason, which I still, again, I struggle
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  Speaker 1: to compute, but for some reason they've decided that I
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  Speaker 1: was somebody that they wanted to recognize as a, what
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  Speaker 1: is it, an esteemed alumni, as a recipient of an
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  Speaker 1: alumni award.
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  Speaker 2: Like I said, there's a variety of different awards that
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  Speaker 2: are offered. The top of The rank, I guess, if
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  Speaker 2: you wanted to kind of rank, is the alumni of
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  Speaker 2: the year. And they're celebrated for enormous efforts in their field.
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  Speaker 2: But underneath that is the Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Award. And
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  Speaker 2: there were five recipients last Thursday. You were one of them.
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  Speaker 2: And each recipient is recognized for the significant contributions they've
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  Speaker 2: made in their local communities and beyond. And as we
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  Speaker 2: sat around a table with your parents and a couple
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  Speaker 2: of other UQ staff members, I was actually really in
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  Speaker 2: awe of the caliber of people in the room.
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  Speaker 1: Am I allowed to say once more, what was I
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  Speaker 1: doing there? Like, I know you don't want me to
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  Speaker 1: say that, but one of the recipients, she was the
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  Speaker 1: executive director. president or the executive leader, I can't remember
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  Speaker 1: the exact title, of the English Premier League.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. Right?
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  Speaker 1: I mean.
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  Speaker 2: And I was standing next to her in the toilet room,
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  Speaker 2: like going to the bathroom. I had no idea who
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  Speaker 2: she was. And then afterwards she came up to me
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  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: These incredible people who are so warm, so friendly. And
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  Speaker 1: then you discover that they are global leaders.
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  Speaker 2: Even Ranger Stacey from Totally Wild got an award.
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  Speaker 1: She did get an award.
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  Speaker 2: That's true. It was amazing. So... The reason that we wanted,
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  Speaker 2: or I specifically wanted to talk about this.
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  Speaker 1: Is- Because I want to be clear, I didn't want
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  Speaker 1: to talk about this. I just, I don't know what
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  Speaker 1: to say.
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  Speaker 2: There is something that is just so profound when somebody
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  Speaker 2: pushes beyond their own limits and achieves things that they feel,
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  Speaker 2: and you've already acknowledged, You're just some bloke who got
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  Speaker 2: up one day and realized that he wanted to be
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  Speaker 2: a better dad. That's literally how this whole thing started.
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  Speaker 2: And you took yourself off to school and you spent
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  Speaker 2: many nights sleeping at the university library as you studied
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  Speaker 2: your way through four years and then five years and
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  Speaker 2: then six and seven and eight to come out the
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  Speaker 2: other end with a wealth of knowledge, but That's not
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  Speaker 2: where the story actually ends. The story continues because after that,
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  Speaker 2: you had this capacity to take what you learned and
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  Speaker 2: to help everyday parents who don't have a psychology degree,
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  Speaker 2: who don't have a PhD, to understand, number one, the
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  Speaker 2: literature and the research, and then to be able to
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  Speaker 2: put it into a way that, again, the everyday parent
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  Speaker 2: can actually utilize and used to bless the lives of
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  Speaker 2: their children and their families in such a way that,
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  Speaker 2: last Thursday, you were recognized for those efforts. And as
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  Speaker 2: your wife, I couldn't be more proud, not because I
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  Speaker 2: think that you're better than anyone else, but the recognition
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  Speaker 2: that all of those years of, in the beginning, sacrifice
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  Speaker 2: as you educated yourself, and then sacrifice as you go
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  Speaker 2: off and share your skills and expertise with families around
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  Speaker 2: the country. And we stay at home and we just
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  Speaker 2: keep going and doing our thing here without you. It's
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  Speaker 2: not about the award. It's not about the status or
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  Speaker 2: anything like that. It's just this beautiful acknowledgement that what
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  Speaker 2: you are doing is making a difference. And that's what
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  Speaker 2: I loved. It wasn't showy. It wasn't or Nate or
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  Speaker 2: anything like that. It was just this beautiful, honest acknowledgement
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  Speaker 2: that each person in that room was doing something with
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  Speaker 2: the God-given gifts and talents they have to make a
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  Speaker 2: difference in their sphere.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so the UQ Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Awards, that's what
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  Speaker 1: it was. The line of the day actually doesn't belong
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  Speaker 1: to me or to you. It belongs to Emily, our 12-year-old.
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  Speaker 1: And after the break, we're going to tell you what
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  Speaker 1: she said and why it cracked us up. Plus, Kylie's
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  Speaker 1: asked that I read my very brief acceptance speech because
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  Speaker 1: apparently it went okay. Okay, we're back. It's the Happy
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  Speaker 1: Families podcast. Our daughter, Emily, age 12, found out that
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  Speaker 1: I was getting this award. We were going to the
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  Speaker 1: ceremony and she said, Daddy, you're getting a trophy. To
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  Speaker 1: which I replied, I don't think so. I'd imagine that
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  Speaker 1: it's probably just a nice dinner and then they'll give
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  Speaker 1: me a piece of paper. It might be framed. and
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  Speaker 1: I'll put it on the shelf laying down with all
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  Speaker 1: of my other pieces of paper that say that I've
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  Speaker 1: done stuff. I'm not really into putting that stuff on
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  Speaker 1: the wall or anything like that. I just like to
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  Speaker 1: go about my business. Anyway, the outcome at the end
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  Speaker 1: of the night was as follows.
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  Speaker 2: You got a beautiful trophy. It was actually a really
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  Speaker 2: beautiful trophy.
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  Speaker 1: And the next morning, Friday morning last week, when Emily
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  Speaker 1: walked into the kitchen and saw the trophy on the bench.
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  Speaker 2: This is sick. She thought it was awesome.
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  Speaker 1: She thought it was awesome.
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  Speaker 2: I have to do a special mention to Robin and Melinda.
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  Speaker 1: Robin and Belinda.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, Belinda. I'm so sorry.
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  Speaker 1: It was Robin and Belinda. They came up to us
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  Speaker 1: and said, we love the podcast. And I say this
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  Speaker 1: all the time on the pod. People appreciate me, but
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  Speaker 1: they love you. They're appreciative that I make a difference
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  Speaker 1: and I help them, but everyone just loves you. And
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  Speaker 1: what happened, Mrs. Happy Families? They came over and they said,
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  Speaker 1: love your work and we listen and we've got your books.
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  Speaker 1: And they were wonderful. Robin was talking about how Her husband, Mick,
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  Speaker 1: I'm the only parenting expert that he'll listen to, but
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  Speaker 1: he listens and he reads the books, which was really lovely.
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  Speaker 1: And while I was chatting with them, you walked over.
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  Speaker 1: And I said, let me introduce you to my wife, Kylie.
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  Speaker 1: And their eyes went as big as saucers. They just
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  Speaker 1: about lost the plot. And they were like.
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  Speaker 2: We love you.
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  Speaker 1: We need a photo. They were about to get a
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  Speaker 1: selfie with me. And they were like, we don't want
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  Speaker 1: a selfie with you anymore. We want a selfie with Mrs.
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  Speaker 1: Happy Families. This is what I live with.
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  Speaker 2: Well, they were very, very kind. And it was a lovely,
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  Speaker 2: lovely meeting with them.
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  Speaker 1: I was holding my trophy and they wanted a photo
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  Speaker 1: with you.
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  Speaker 2: There you go. But the standout of the night, outside
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  Speaker 2: of the fact that there were amazing people to celebrate,
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  Speaker 2: was actually your acceptance speech. And it's probably unfair to
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  Speaker 2: put you alongside anybody else who does.
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  Speaker 1: Not do this as a live I am a professional speaker.
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  Speaker 2: It was very obvious that you were a professional speaker.
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  Speaker 2: But what I loved about what you did, and it
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  Speaker 2: won't be any surprise to anybody who's been listening to
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  Speaker 2: us for a very long time, that Justin was given
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  Speaker 2: a two-minute time limit for his acceptance speech, along with
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  Speaker 2: everybody else. And I recorded it.
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  Speaker 1: How long was it?
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  Speaker 2: It was four minutes and 32 seconds.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you know what? I decided to go off script
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  Speaker 1: because my talk was two minutes. My acceptance speech was
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  Speaker 1: two minutes.
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  Speaker 2: Well, no, it wasn't because you rang me that day.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, it was two minutes and 20 seconds, but they
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  Speaker 1: gave me permission. But everyone else, no one else had
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  Speaker 1: really prepared any remarks, and most people spoke for between
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  Speaker 1: four and seven minutes. So once I saw everyone else
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  Speaker 1: just doing their thing, I was like, No, I'm fine.
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  Speaker 1: I'm fine with this.
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  Speaker 2: I'm fine. But I would say that this is the
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  Speaker 2: shortest speech I have ever heard you give. Yep. And
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  Speaker 2: you absolutely nailed it. And you did so for two reasons.
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  Speaker 2: Number one, I think you did such a beautiful job
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  Speaker 2: of acknowledging your parents and the impact that they have
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  Speaker 2: had on your life in general, but in the support
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  Speaker 2: specifically that they gave you through this process. and the
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  Speaker 2: way in which you were actually able to share your
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  Speaker 2: life's work in such brevity and yet leave a room
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  Speaker 2: full of academics and people who are amazing in their
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  Speaker 2: own right all in tears. So without further ado, we
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  Speaker 2: would love for you to share.
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  Speaker 1: Okay. Well, nobody really likes speeches, so I'll try and
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  Speaker 1: keep this under four minutes, but here we go. I
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  Speaker 1: started by saying it's humbling to be recognized by the
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  Speaker 1: university that shaped how I think and who I've become.
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  Speaker 1: In my late 20s, struggling as a father and husband,
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  Speaker 1: I began a psychology degree at UQ in the hope
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  Speaker 1: that I might improve my relationships and family. At the
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  Speaker 1: University of Queensland, I learned to ask hard questions and
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  Speaker 1: to analyze evidence rigorously. And I learned again and again
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: through study after study that for a life well lived,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: the family home is central to well-being. In 1942, Robert
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Menzies said the home's health determines the health of society
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: as a whole. 44 years later, standing in Perth, Pope
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  Speaker 1: John Paul II put it even more plainly, as the
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: whole world in which we live. The religious leader Gordon B.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Hinckley taught, the strength of any nation lies in the
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: strength of its families, and the research evidence supports what
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: the church and government have said. But the link between
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: family life and flourishing doesn't only run up to the
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: level of society, it runs down to the individual. Children
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: raised in warm, connected homes have 72% lower odds of
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  Speaker 1: depression as adults. Strong family relationships protect against almost every
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: health risk measured from emotional distress to drug use to violence.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Amy Werner, who followed every child born on Hawaiian island
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: of Kauai in 1955 for four decades, found that the
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: highest risk children grew into competent, confident, caring adults because
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: of a close bond with at least one stable, loving caregiver.
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  Speaker 1: Strong families build strong individuals and strong societies. So Tonight,
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  Speaker 1: whatever the remarkable people in this room have achieved, the
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  Speaker 1: most important work many of us will ever do is
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  Speaker 1: not in the office. It's waiting for us when we
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  Speaker 1: walk back through our own front door. In accepting this award,
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  Speaker 1: I express deep gratitude to my parents here tonight, who
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: recently celebrated 51 years of marriage and gave me a
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: powerful example of strong, stable family foundation. And Kylie, at
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  Speaker 1: this point, I kind of left the speech for a moment.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I went on a tangent and talked about how My
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: parents have developed several businesses over the years, including a
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: furniture removals business. And to get through university, dad sent
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  Speaker 1: one of his small furniture trucks from the New South
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  Speaker 1: Wales Central Coast up to Brisbane. He gave me that
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: truck to work on on the weekends so that I
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  Speaker 1: could do furniture removals to pay my way through university
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  Speaker 1: and earn some money because we had a mortgage and
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  Speaker 1: a couple of kids. And then I confessed something that
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: neither mum nor he knew. And that is that instead
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: of catching public transport or driving our car or whatever
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  Speaker 1: it was to the university so that I could study,
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  Speaker 1: I would get into his truck every day and drive
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: from Morningside to St. Lucia and then try to park
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: it in the dust bowl and not get fined. And
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: that brought the house down. It brought the house down.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe you had to be there, but it was a
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: really good one. And to Kylie, my wife of 28 years,
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  Speaker 1: who has been at my side as we've created our
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: own family, our six daughters and our granddaughter, who taught
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  Speaker 1: me in That's what the research confirms. Happiness is love.
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  Speaker 2: Full stop. Thank you. And that was my speech. Well,
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I've always thought you're a pretty amazing human being, regardless
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: of any achievement that you may or may not have done.
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  Speaker 2: But I was so proud to be a witness to
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: an acknowledgement of years and years of sacrifice, effort, and
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: a commitment to making the world a better place. So
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: really proud of you, hon.
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  Speaker 1: Well, thank you. Couldn't have done it without you, honey.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: That is our I'll Do Better Tomorrow. We're going to
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: have to wrap it up there for today. More on
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Monday as we strive to help your family be happier.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Have a great weekend. Thanks so much for listening and
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: thanks for supporting us as we seek to support you
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: in the journey to happy, flourishing families. Sound and audio
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: engineering on the Happy Families podcast is taken care of
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: by Justin Rulon from Bridge Media. We really appreciate JR
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: and the work that he does. Mim Hammonds provides all
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: of our additional support and admin. If you'd like more
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: info to make your family happier, you'll find it at happyfamilies.com.au.