Latest / Mission: 300 Podcast / Episode 99 -When life punches you in the face

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Episode 99 -When life punches you in the face · Mission: 300 Podcast

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Hey everyone, welcome back to the Mission 300 podcast. This is Brian sitting
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in for Jason as the normal introduction announcer.
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We got Caleb, Tommy, and David here with us today, and we are going to get into
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the subject matter of getting punched in the face.
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And I know that might not sound like an exciting topic to go down,
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but we've kind of explored and been looking at this for the last couple of weeks
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of the importance of what happens when you step into an arena or step into a
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project or push the limits on what you're,
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you're developing yourself in.
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And without a conflict back that feels like a time takes the wind out of the
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sails or is like a punch in the face, you really don't know what you have.
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And so we're going to kind of explore that today and we're going
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to kick off and everyone has a little bit of a story of when they
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were first punched in the face and how that affected their movement
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forward so we're going to kick it off first with tommy as
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he is on a long drive through the ice tundra of minnesota the most recent reminder
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i have just giving you my punch in the face is i played soccer in high school and
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remained pretty active all through high school, through college.
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And then I started my job and kind of I took a break from doing athletic stuff,
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being active, not as active as I once was.
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And I joined a soccer league with some of my college buddies.
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And I remember that first day of being like, oh, I got this.
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Like, I've done this millions of times.
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Like, you know, no problem here. i remember
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just being so gassed right away
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and just being like what what
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is going on like and realizing without
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the preparation like i i got i got punched right away and and obviously that
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that went away as the season went on as i realized oh i actually need to get
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back in I actually need to start
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training again and start being active and intentional with what I'm doing.
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That's one that just recently came to me is like it
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was such an identity shifter for me because it was like oh i
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played soccer i was you know i was a captain on
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the soccer team we were great like i've
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always been active then just to have that happen to me it was
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like a there was a big reset and shift in my
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mindset of like oh it's time to go
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back to the basics and yeah that's that's my most recent like getting caught
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right just not ready for it at all yeah I think I can relate to that as well
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I think for a lot of people it definitely be physically related when you're.
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Not as fit as you think you are because mine I mean my
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biggest one in my life was probably on the Appalachian Trail when
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I got into it and people were like oh yeah it's
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really hard and people even say there's no way you can
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train for it so I was like oh well if there's no way I can train for
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there's no point in training at all i guess just
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go for it and got into it and
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trail is you think like it's
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not real mountains because it's on the east coast the appalachian trail
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and it's very much real mountains real
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humidity real heat and there was
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days where i was puking my guts out every day
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from the physical exertion and the amount i was
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sweating and everything so that definitely caught me
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off guard and punched me in the face really hard like to the
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point where it was just like emotionally unstable physically
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unstable mentally unstable all these different things just because it was it
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was so brutal that i was just like yeah there was no way and i i could have
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like also the punch in the face of realizing wow if i had just like done some
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more hikes and stuff to really prepare for this because i thought i knew what hiking was.
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Yeah it would have been easier in some in some way so that was definitely a
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big punch in the face probably the biggest one in my life was how much more
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challenging it was than I thought it could even possibly be so yep definitely
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relate to Tommy on that one David.
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So me and Caleb just talked about kind of getting punched in the face but it
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was more of like a blind like oh we just We were expecting something,
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and we didn't get what we expected, and it got us off guard.
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Now, David, I know you like to get punched in the face.
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Can you tell us about a time when you chose to get punched in the face,
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and what was that experience like?
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I do have a tendency to enjoy that.
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I don't i think i like to see kind of the limits of what i can do and push myself
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in different different areas and set goals and,
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But the times that I prefer to get punched in the face is when I'm doing it with a friend.
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And we're both getting punched in the face. We're both doing a challenge.
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We're both doing some 75 hard training for a marathon or something. We're both doing it.
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But I want to receive the punches a little better. My ego.
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I think there's just a betterment to developing junior high I was,
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there was kind of this, he wasn't really a bully, but he was just this most
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annoying kid in the school.
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And just, he kind of provoked problems.
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And so I thought, you know, it's time, I'm going to go stand up to him and let
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him know we're done with, done with all this nonsense.
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And I remember kind of getting all ready and our group was like,
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okay, we're going to, stopped this kid, Shannon.
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And I remember we had to go stand behind the, the, there was like these kind
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of like portable buildings that were laid out.
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And so we were behind that. So we didn't get in trouble with the teachers.
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And I remember him just saying, are you sure you want to do this?
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And I'm like, yeah, he goes, I'm just telling you, are you sure you want to do this?
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And I just remember, yeah. And the next thing I know, crack right in the snozz
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and it blood's dripping down on my face and I'm like, I don't want to do this.
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I really don't want to do this.
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And he had been in so many fights growing up and came from a really bad, bad background.
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And actually we became friends right after that point. Like,
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okay, there was a respect that I stood up, but same time, I never wanted to go through that again.
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I will say this when I've made a decision to step into an arena now,
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from that point, there was a little bit of development of when I step in,
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I expect that punch in the face.
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And so it does help in making decisions because it kind of establishes you,
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to know what you're doing, and you're always aware there is someone better than
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you, even though you think you could be better.
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There's always someone who has maybe a better idea, a better training,
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a better skill, and it forces you to bring your all to the game, to bring it out.
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And that was something that came out of that.
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And I guess for you guys, Caleb, Tommy, David, when you're working on developing
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yourself, what do you think is best when you're finally getting tested?
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How do you best test yourself?
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Like, let's say it's a goal. Let's say it's getting a new job.
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How do you best test yourself that you can push yourself to the limit and maybe
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you get that experience of being punched in the face,
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but you know how to kind of step back and revisit it
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so you can move forward in it i don't know if
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this is necessarily necessarily good advice because
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i tend to just have like the be stubborn answer because from my experiences
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when it when it's not going well and it's you're getting punched in the face
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the only thing that's made sense to me is to just push forward through it and take the punches,
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and find out through each punch metaphorically, what can I do better?
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Like when I was throwing up on the Appalachian trail,
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like I, I kid you not, I threw up at least once a day for like a week or two
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weeks straight when it started getting really hot and humid, it was like,
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okay, I'm not going to stop because that's just not an option,
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but I do need to figure out why this is happening and what I can do differently
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to like keep on moving forward.
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Cause I have a more important objective and figured out through it,
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like it was a lack of fitness. And then another big aspect was electrolyte intake.
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I wasn't getting enough salt and magnesium, different electrolytes that you're
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supposed to have in your water.
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Cause you're sweating them all out when you're exercising that hard and that
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strenuous. And so even in different aspects of life, like in my jobs in the
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past, like the only way I can see my,
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like where it's like, how do I push myself to the limit? I think I've had to
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put myself in the circumstances where I can fail.
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And every time, like, I know what holds me back in life is I just don't want
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to find out how I'm going to fail. So I just don't bother doing it.
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And that's like a rare, very real thought process for me where like,
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like now it's like, I went for a run for the first time in a long time last week.
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And it was like my watch that I have tracks like your VO two max,
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your max heart rate and stuff.
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And it was painful to look at because that's another punch in the face.
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And the reason I had not been running cause was cause I took a break for a long
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long. I was like, no, I just don't want to find out how bad it is now.
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And like my mile time had like three minutes tacked onto it from the last time
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I'd gone running. And that was like me pushing it.
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And I think that's like in life for anything, that's like, you have to find,
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you have to go find like someone,
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something to punch you in the face because otherwise you don't know how you
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can take a punch and keep going.
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And like, if I hadn't run, I wouldn't have been able to look at like, okay, I do need to run.
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What do I need to do? I need to run slower for longer amounts of time.
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Like, what do I need to do to train to get back into another fitness level?
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And I think like in everything in life, if you're not taking a punch,
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then you can't find out what you need to do differently.
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And it's painful because you find out that, yes,
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there is an aspect of my life that isn't set up for success right now,
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but I don't see how I can set myself up for success unless I put myself through
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some form of failure, essentially.
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And like, I never want to do that. Every time I do, it's literally a painful
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process. It has not changed or gotten easier.
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Like that's my weakness. I would just rather not start and just leave it alone.
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That way I don't have to find out because it's more comfortable just like not
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knowing what I need to do differently. because once you start finding out,
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you realize what's wrong and then you have to challenge yourself.
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And that's all a painful process to become something different or challenge
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yourself and become better.
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So that's kind of what it looks like for me.
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And I hate it just as much as the first time I figured out that process,
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but there are ways that it's like,
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okay, I understand this is what I have to do so we're just gonna do it and take
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the punches and keep moving forward because the not taking the punches will
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be much more painful later on kind of similar I kind of want to like what like.
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What do you do when it's not just one punch in the face, just like keeps,
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you keep getting punched in the face.
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Like, for example, I've been doing, I've been working on like a little side
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engineering project, trying to
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get a robot kind of just that turns a Rubik's cube any way I want it to.
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And I just keep going after design, after design, after design.
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And each design takes days and an hour and
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then like 10 hours to print just to see if it works and this and right now on
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my shelf i have about 10 different designs that i've gone through that and none
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of them work and so then i'm just coming up with another one another one it's
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just like man i just want to give up and just not deal with this whole thing
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because nothing's working.
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And so but like in a similar
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way it's just like if say for
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example i would be doing like a diet plan or something like
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this and then just do it once and it doesn't
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work so then you try again and again and
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again and again and nothing's working but you're still making a little bit of
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progress i'm kind of curious what your guys thoughts are on like how to get
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past that point because I feel like consistently getting punched in the face
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is much harder to endure than just one punch and then you realize,
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oh, I know what I need to change and then you change it.
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If it just keeps coming and it feels like there's no progress but you know if
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you keep pushing forward, something's going to change.
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I'm just curious what your guys' thoughts are on that. Real quick, just to clarify.
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So it's almost more, when when do you have to just learn endurance to the punches.
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And when do you have to step back and re-look at a new tactic to not necessarily
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avoid the punch, but not just keep standing line drives in it?
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Is that kind of the, yeah.
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Well, I think that's exactly the point, right? You've got to have the wisdom
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to know when to endure, when are you going to get hit?
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You have to get back up and hit again because it puts you in a better position.
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Or when are you going to actually stop taking the hit?
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Because if you get hit enough times back to
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back to back you get knocked out right so
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it's like you don't you don't want to knock yourself out of
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out of the race but sometimes you
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do need to get hit to get get closer and and
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hit back right strike stronger than
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ever i think part of
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that is wisdom right part of
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that is having people who've gone before you and
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done similar things help guide you through that
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and it goes back to like mentorship like who's who's
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got your back who's in your corner you know
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because they can see when you're getting hit and having
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someone there that can say hey maybe maybe we got to try something different
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that would be my my advice my angle on this is having someone who's who's done
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it before or been there help guide you to even if it's not the same It doesn't
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have to be the same vertical or the same exact thing,
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but having someone with more life experience and then also walking with God through that.
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I think with my job, I took a lot of hits the first six months and my boss just kind of said, Hey.
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I, you know, I see you're getting hit. What can we do to adjust?
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And from there, it completely changed, right?
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I think that's a couple of good examples. One thing that's what you're bringing
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up, Tommy, is what your boss did.
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It's almost like he put you in an arena to not necessarily get hit,
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but to feel like you could never get a hit off.
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So even if you weren't getting hit, you couldn't get a hit off.
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There was no strategy until you finally, you basically come to a point where
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I need some kind of strategy to make this work.
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And I think that there's a bigger difference going into going into an arena
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or taking on a project, knowing this may fail, but I have to keep doing it till I get to the point.
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Like it was actually David on weightlifting that kind of really helped me a lot.
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And it wasn't like a strategy that everyone should go do, but it was something I needed.
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And it was just, he would have me initially set me up and doing my workouts
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that everything to failure.
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And it's like, I needed to know what my body could go to because I have this
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old man muscle, right? that I had for years and that comes back rather quickly.
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Now I have the new things that I'm trying to do.
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And it was, it got hard every time I got, went into the workout,
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but it was a different kind of punch in the face.
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It was almost more like an endurance, like a numbing to the punch.
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Like you almost knew you were mentally sound when you felt that, that, that experience.
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And I, but I have a strategy. Like I'm seeing what it will produce.
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Like, even though it feels like it's
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hitting me, it's actually producing something in me and I can see that.
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So there is this strategy to it. So like, if you put the boxing arena,
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you're getting punched, you're getting punched, you're getting punched.
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You keep doing that. You're going to get knocked out unless you understand that boxer.
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Then you kind of know when. So you have to take a few in order to get to the
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point where you can get in.
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And so this may be back to David's question, not necessarily an answer to the
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question, but maybe a thought is you're trying to take on something new and create something.
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And one thing that David, you have an advantage of is you've trained yourself
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to go long stretches of time working on a project.
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You can put 15 hours in, you could put 25 hours in and say, oh, this didn't work.
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You do have a patience to that. So in a way, you've taken on the hits of what that feels like.
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Most people have never even done that. If it doesn't turn out quick in the first
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little bit, you really didn't want to accomplish it to begin with.
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But what I like about your thing is that you want to see this through.
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You just don't know how, or you haven't quite experienced.
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So your hits are a little bit different from a creative point of view of what
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works and what doesn't versus someone who's like,
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man, I'm top of my class, got straight A's. I'm really good at this.
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They come from an environment, everything's good. And
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all of a sudden they hit the workplace and they realize they're not actually
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the top of the class they're not even in the
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middle of the class and that that weight of
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what am i now and it's almost like i think the confidence to do something when
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it gets hit it discover you discover is it from me like because i'm kind of
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feeling good about myself or is it really a skill and something that is offerable to someone else.
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And when what you have is offerable to someone else, the hits don't have the same effect.
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And I do find this interesting, even in the Jesus and the disciples here,
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all this power is given to them. You're going to change the world.
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This is what's going to take place. And by the way, they're going to hate you
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and they're going to kill you and they're going to do these things to you, but don't be surprised.
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So in other words, he's preparing them for the hit and so
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this may not answer david's question
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well i probably won't answer david's question and if you guys could comment
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on it of of that but then also comment on what should we be prepared for in
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moving forward that we're not shocked and i think maybe the hit isn't so much
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getting hit hit hit it's the shock that the hit ever came to begin with.
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Yeah, I think I can kind of understand David's perspective because it is creative endeavor.
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And I work in video and media world. And there's kind of like,
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you know, when you're working on a video, that's a 20 minutes long,
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like you get, however, or, you know, that doesn't sound that long,
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I guess, when I say like, but it's long when you're doing a intense edit minute by minute.
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And like, one of the things is like, you can really drain yourself if you get so stuck on one thing.
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And I think it applies to a lot of stuff where you are only looking at this
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one video, blah, blah, blah.
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And like a thing, and it starts to feel like a hit because you're like,
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this is not going anywhere.
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Like the video is just getting worse as it goes on.
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And one thing that's always helped me is like stepping away from what I'm working
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at to go do something else that is something that's not going to hit me,
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but still challenges me.
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And like, for me, like as an example, like is hiking or just going outside.
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Cause it's still like a physically challenging thing and there's still like
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a mountain to go climb, but that's something that helps me get my mind off of
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a different challenge. And then when I come back to it, I have a fresh perspective.
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And I think that has applied to like a lot of stuff in my life that has.
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Challenged me and kind of can help with the shock of being challenged is because,
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you're kind of stepping away from the constant looking at this one thing where
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you're stuck on it and shifting to something else, but you know,
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you're coming back to it. You're not just quitting on it. Like it might be.
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Like just one day or a weekend that you take a break from it and come back to it.
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And I think that's always helped me when it comes to like some kind of endurance thing.
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Like even on, on the Appalachian trail, the rule was like, never quit on a bad day.
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You can only quit on a day where you've had a shower, you've been fed while
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you've ate some good food and you've like sat around in a town for a day doing nothing.
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That's when you can quit because it's not in the moment when you're getting punched in the face.
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And so I think always taking an opportunity to step away from something.
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You know, I think there, maybe that can't happen.
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Not everybody has that luxury in life to step away from something challenging.
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But I think if you can just get away from something for
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a day and go like really not think about
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it then you can go okay wait
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I do love this challenge or there is something fulfilling about this challenge
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like after you've had a shower and done laundry and you're not stinky and sweaty
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and you've only eaten like dry horrible tasting food for three or four days
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in the middle of the woods your perspective kind of changes because you're like,
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Oh wait, I did really enjoy this whole last week of being out in the woods.
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Or when I step away from working on making a video and come back to it,
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it's like, okay, wait, I do enjoy this creative process of challenging of like,
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how am I going to tell this story?
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And so I think it could be a similar thing with the, with anything really.
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Like if you're designing the robot, that's going to solve the Rubik's cube.
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Just stepping away from it, looking at something completely different.
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And two, I found there, I think I read an article about this one time,
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but like your subconscious is still working in the background on these different issues.
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So I think when you take time to kind of get a different perspective,
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you'll come back with a fresh look at it where you're not so stuck in it.
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And I think that's always helped when there's been some kind of challenging situation.
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Cause you're like, okay, wait,
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that like, it kind of makes it not the biggest problem in your world.
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So it doesn't seem like this is
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not if this doesn't work out like oh i
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don't know what i'm gonna do because it's so connected to everything i
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am right now because it's the only thing you've been doing for the last 70 to
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two hours so i think there's a lot of things where it just comes down to shifting
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your perspective for a certain amount of time off of something so you can come
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back to it looking at it in a different way that's always hugely helped me out
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when it comes to projects or different challenges and everything.
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So I think that was all a really good perspective.
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And I kind of just want to point out one thing that you said in particular is that,
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you said you got off the trail you thought about it and you're like i actually enjoyed that.
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And instead of thinking of the trail as the end
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point you think of okay this is
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this is just traveling and you don't think about
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the end because it's so far away and you just you're just on this hike and you
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enjoy you learn to enjoy the the process and i've kind of found this with myself
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and like I just decide like say I want to read like a really long book or something,
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if I think about okay I'm reading this book because I want to finish the book
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I'm never going to finish the book it just never happens but if I think I just
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want to learn to enjoy reading this book eventually I'll just with maybe a little
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bit of dedication I'll work my way through,
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enjoying this book and then i come to the last pages
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and it's like oh even if it's like
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i come to last pages and i learned that
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i actually enjoyed the entire process of the book
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and i think i mean like even with the bible or something if you think about
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a reading plan of a year a year is a long time to read one book i mean technically
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it's a library but But I think if you just learn to enjoy the process of chipping away.
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Then I think that's a very substantial thing to figure out how to get punched in the face.
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You just figure out to enjoy the training process and get better.
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So you kind of laid out two different concepts. And so I kind of want to hear your guys' thought.
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There's one thing that we're taking on a project or we're taking on a new endeavor.
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And we really run into ourselves. So I think one of the biggest hits is ourself.
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We run into something that has gone before us. or we run into our weakness or
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we run into something we had not prepared for.
27:18
So that's one type of hit. And those are usually the ones that should cause
27:22
a little bit, okay, wake up a little bit.
27:25
There's a much bigger world and you're not the only, you're not the center of it.
27:28
So there's that kind of hit that brings that reality.
27:31
Then there's the other kind of hit where maybe we have false expectations of
27:36
what it should produce for us.
27:38
And so like your example, David, of doing the trail, if it's just about completing
27:44
the trail, if it's just about reading the book, there's so many factors that
27:48
can play into the disruption of that.
27:51
But I like that, the whole idea. Why are you doing it to begin with?
27:55
So if you really look at like a boxer, they like boxing.
28:00
They like it. They like the sport. They like everything about it.
28:03
They don't like getting hit in the face. They don't like being sore for three
28:08
days after, but inside of them, they enjoy that fight that you, you discover that.
28:14
And so when we look at the different arenas, whether it's creativity,
28:19
you hate it that you can't figure out something right now.
28:22
But you're wired to actually enjoy the journey of trying to figure it out.
28:26
You're not sad. You can't just walk away from it either.
28:29
So it's like you're frustrated. You can't have an answer, but you won't let it go.
28:34
It's going to plague on you until you figure out what that answer is.
28:38
And so it's a twofold thing.
28:41
So the faster we get to enjoy it. So I kind of want to break those apart a little
28:46
bit of the type of hits in the face.
28:48
There's this reality check that there's a bigger world than you thought there
28:53
was out there and it hits you.
28:55
And I think there is a reality. The world is brutal.
28:59
Whatever you bring to the world, it's not just open arms. We're happy.
29:03
You know, if you think you have a great product, the whole world is going to
29:07
absolutely love that you spent time in inventing, right, Tommy?
29:10
Me, it will bust you in the face when you realize no one wants to buy it.
29:15
And now you have to sell this idea.
29:17
So it's not so much that you're getting hit every time you just expect you're
29:23
going to have to do a little bit of a dance, a fighting dance to get people
29:27
to understand why what you're doing is important to them.
29:31
So now we have to learn a process to get the product that you created into the
29:35
hands of the people that want it.
29:38
And same with creative media or anything else. And so I think the separating
29:43
that there's the hit in the face because you don't have a reality of what the
29:47
world's going to do. And I think most people quit right there.
29:51
Then the other kind of hits that are part of the journey, but it's actually
29:55
an exchange of hits. When you move forward, it's like you're hitting back.
29:59
So you become stronger in those kind of hits and you keep moving forward and
30:05
you remove the expectors that life isn't going to embrace what you bring.
30:12
You kind of just walk into it. Life is not going to embrace what I'm going to
30:15
bring, but I need to bring it.
30:17
So you have that kind of thought. And I think the one in the second example is what toughens you.
30:24
The one in the first example should humble you.
30:29
And a different thought. So it's important to get hit in the face,
30:35
but now it's important to learn how to spar in the ring, how to stay in the
30:39
ring with the thing that you have,
30:41
feel like you need to bring forth the thing that you have been.
30:46
The occupation you've been set into, the direction you feel strong to go after,
30:53
that is promise to have resistance against it.
30:56
And resistance is not the same as getting punched in the face as the first example.
31:02
It's a very different feel.
31:05
And there has to be a fortitude that's built up to begin moving forward in those arenas.
31:10
And if we know that, it can be much easier to pursue anything.
31:14
So anything you're pursuing, your brain's not going to like it.
31:17
Your body's not going to like it. The environment around you is not going to
31:20
like it, but you're going to love the outcome when you're done.
31:24
Even on the daily thing, how much your mental will be better when you push yourself beyond.
31:30
And so these are important factors. And back to the point of learning to just
31:36
really enjoy that journey you're on.
31:38
But for those who just want to do the journey without a destination,
31:41
that doesn't work either.
31:42
There is a destination, but you enjoy the journey to get to the destination.
31:48
So your thoughts on other aspects of
31:51
this that are beneficial and what
31:55
we could take away from the reality that life is going
31:57
to hit you hard but you don't have to become a victim of it we can respond in
32:03
a way that's actually moving us forward one thing i want to point out as you're
32:08
just mentioning there brian it's like talking about like product or something
32:13
you've developed and you've created, now you bring it to the world.
32:17
The most interesting part about that is, from my experience too,
32:22
I have a product that I'm marketing.
32:26
I can get so caught up in what we've developed and how we want to say what the problem it solves,
32:34
that you then bring it to the consumer and either they flat out reject it,
32:39
we get punched in the face, or they have a completely different reason outside
32:44
of what we would have said is the reason why they would use this solution, right?
32:51
And so it's like you almost need to put that idea to the fire,
32:56
to the test, to discover what it truly is, right?
33:01
And I think that's the same thing with yourself.
33:05
You put yourself to the test to discover who you are and to see what's left. Thank you.
33:12
It's the same with any development, but I think you're spot on and saying there's
33:16
the point where you're purposely going to get hit in training,
33:21
and then there's the punches that come out of nowhere that get you that just humble you.
33:26
And you need both. You need both. I don't think it's like,
33:31
David, I think you've developed a great sense of, you know, I want to get myself
33:37
punched first so I can learn, I can grow and develop.
33:42
But it's going to be the punch that comes that when you least expect it,
33:46
that's going to push growth beyond because you've already been punched multiple
33:50
times leading up to that.
33:52
But the one that comes out of nowhere, that's where the growth is going to come.
33:56
And I think that's important. Like, it's okay to be humbled and say, yeah, I got punched.
34:02
Like, it's okay. Like, that's the other thing is like, no one.
34:06
Like, think of like Thomas Edison. he came
34:09
up with thousands of failed ways to
34:12
make a light bulb but it was the one that that
34:16
didn't fail that that changed right so failure
34:20
is not a bad thing i think failure shows that you're you're you're doing something
34:26
and there's a lot of people out there who aren't doing anything and that will
34:30
never fail but you will also never win i think too tommy with that is punches reveal vulnerability,
34:38
and we're such a tender society, which I'm glad this is starting to change, by the way.
34:43
But so far, we're such a tender society that we're almost, when we talk about
34:48
failure, oh, we're gonna be vulnerable.
34:51
You know, there needs to come a point where the moment you do anything, you fail.
34:56
Like, it's all part of that. It's not failure.
34:59
It's just not gonna work the way you want it to when you start.
35:02
And understanding that, that you have to keep moving forward isn't even a fail point.
35:08
It is the reality of how something develops. It's kind of like anything.
35:13
I've noticed this from a Christian perspective of promises of God or gifts that God provides.
35:20
If it doesn't work at full exact power, the moment you try it,
35:27
that's just not for today. That's just not for today.
35:31
Everything has to be developed. Everything has to be to be mastered.
35:35
I mean, let's just look at the reality. Elijah just didn't wake up one day and
35:40
call down fire from heaven.
35:41
There was a process he went through to understand how the gift works.
35:45
And it wasn't about failure. It was about learning how to use something,
35:50
learning how to use our gift, learning how to use.
35:53
And so I think we need to remove the idea of failure versus learning how to do it.
35:58
But you're not defined of your quality,
36:02
based on the first times you start using it, you may be the master of it,
36:06
but you still have to learn how to use it.
36:10
And I think there's a huge difference there. And I'm really even as we're talking
36:14
about this punch in the face, I think the punch in the face that is really the most.
36:21
Impactful that may cause the most damage isn't the one that you're expecting
36:26
because you kind of know how to deflect it a little bit. You know how to absorb it.
36:30
You know how to deal with that. And I was just thinking about this show that
36:33
David used to love when he was a kid. It was called Wipeout.
36:36
And it's like the person is just going and they finally figure out the rhythm and they're running.
36:40
And all of a sudden, this object out of nowhere hits them in the side and they
36:46
go flopping like a floppy fish.
36:49
Like it's so caught them off guard.
36:52
That's the punch and I think we get caught off
36:55
guard because we get a little bit expecting and
36:59
confident maybe the world around us or
37:02
things around us are going to work a certain way that we
37:05
don't give time to develop our skills in other
37:08
areas that could come from a broadside and hit us and I think that's something
37:15
that could be helpful to learn from the hits is how to prepare in arenas that
37:21
we're not necessarily focusing on but we should be aware of where they could come from.
37:28
Houdini actually died from a single punch to the gut because he wasn't expecting it.
37:34
Just to piggyback off of that, Brian, too, I think failure, too,
37:39
is a part of just the word failure.
37:43
If we're looking at it from that sense, failure isn't really an option.
37:48
It's your learning right and
37:52
to be vulnerable with like everyone on here like
37:55
when we did our first event our man
37:58
versus wild event there were some points where
38:01
we could have been like oh that was
38:04
a massive failure but no
38:07
it was learning we learned we learned
38:09
so much and i i went back going
38:12
wow it was kind of a punch to the face but it was a punch to the face that i
38:18
needed where i learned it wasn't like i i failed and and i gave up i quit it's
38:26
no i learned i learned so that the next events we do are going to be that much better,
38:32
and hey i might even learn that a screw up can actually be really good for a group,
38:38
but i'm going to just tell you this tommy most of the people didn't even know there was a failure.
38:44
Because when you develop your character, how to roll with a punch,
38:47
you're quick to assess, step back, reevaluate. Okay, wow, this isn't working.
38:54
But you don't absorb that I am a personal failure.
38:59
I mean, it bugs you at the moment.
39:01
You kind of like when you get the square off punch in the schnoz, your eyes tear up.
39:06
I'm not saying you're crying, but it's kind of like this intensity of nerves get all impacted.
39:12
But watching you walk out and rehandle and reassess and rebuild and reestablish
39:19
no one it it actually no one missed
39:22
a beat it was the the the weekend was better than had we hit it right,
39:29
and watching your temporary frustration but
39:32
how you turned it was such a powerful thing
39:35
but that comes from learning how to do those arenas
39:39
and getting broadsided and learning I could get hit
39:42
here I could get hit here just learn to roll with it there's a development of
39:47
boxing that you learn to roll off a punch you learn to you weren't expecting
39:52
that but you kind of can step back and readjust that's all part of the process
39:58
and so the more things that we put ourself into,
40:01
to call even come close to calling that a failure a failure where would have
40:06
been a failure is if you walked away and say i'm done i'm not doing it anymore
40:09
that that would have been the failure.
40:13
That isn't how it worked out. And most people are saying, oh,
40:16
as long as I'm trying, I get a participation trophy.
40:19
It all feels good. No, you may not have still hit the measurement that you should have.
40:24
But hitting the measurement or not hitting the measurement is just go back and
40:27
learn and be better at hitting the measurement.
40:30
But it's not about there's something internally wrong with you.
40:35
It's just you don't know enough. You don't have enough endurance.
40:38
You don't go develop it. so it should be just a reminder of what may be undeveloped
40:45
in you that needs to come out,
40:46
and i think that's a huge difference than you failed
40:49
but you're still not getting a trophy unless
40:52
you get it right you guys understand what i'm saying go back
40:56
and get better yeah i think this
40:59
whole conversation reminds me of a book i read in
41:02
high school and i can't recommend it
41:04
right now because i need to refresh on it and i think there's some
41:07
stuff in there that may not be entirely appropriate but
41:10
the book is called if anybody wants to risk reading
41:13
it it's called the war of art and like
41:16
the subtitle of it is break through the blocks and when you're
41:19
in your creative battles and i do remember
41:22
the part that stood out to me the most one of the ideas that stuck with me is
41:26
he has this whole section where he kind of says okay if you want to do something
41:33
great there is this like metaphysical force called resistance and there's resistance
41:38
in everything that you do.
41:41
And I think it's kind of parallel with what we're talking about getting punched in the face.
41:46
And I just remember in the book, he's like, this is a form of resistance.
41:49
This is a form of resistance.
41:51
This is a form in resistance. And I think.
41:54
Have to go back and read the book but i think like
41:57
there's so many different ways in life that we can get punched in the face and
42:02
i think that when it comes down to it it's simply what is our response and i
42:08
think that's what we've been saying this whole time because you can get punched
42:11
in the face unexpectedly you can go into it knowing you're getting punched in the face you can,
42:16
i mean heck i like can punch myself in the face sometimes beating myself up
42:21
for things i've done wrong when I should just be moving forward.
42:26
And so I think there's all these different forms of getting punched in the face
42:31
or in that book, it's like resistance. And that's only happening when you're
42:38
moving forward towards a goal.
42:40
And so I would say like getting punched in the face for me, I usually,
42:44
ironically, there is a balance, but I usually take it as a good sign.
42:48
Like I'm like, okay I know I'm headed towards something
42:51
because there is something fighting me on this in a
42:54
good way if you're headed towards a good goal and there's things you know to
42:58
take note of of course like if if you're headed in the wrong direction but if
43:02
you really are truly going after something that's like this is a goal I have
43:06
or an objective then the punches are things to teach you along the way.
43:12
And I think that's always like a marker of, okay, how do I respond?
43:17
And what can I learn from these punches? Because.
43:22
In the end, like we've been saying, it's, it's not really like you'll be a failure
43:25
for getting punched in the face.
43:27
I think the getting punched in the face is a sign that you are moving towards
43:33
something. And as long as you keep moving, I think that's the marker of, of success.
43:38
Like on the trail, I said, okay, I want to quit now, but I can quit two weeks from now.
43:45
I'll let myself quit. And I get to the two weeks. I'm like, okay,
43:47
I can quit a month from now.
43:49
And so I think it's like, no matter what, as long as you keep on pushing forward,
43:55
no matter how the punches come, that's the marker of success and pushing past.
44:01
Like in that book, the war of art, he calls it resistance.
44:04
And that's how all of these great things we have in our society today,
44:08
people had to get punched in the face.
44:10
Thomas Edison got punched in the face. Like people, I'm sure like Mozart and Bach,
44:15
maybe it was like semi easy for them, but they had to face some form
44:18
of resistance of sitting down and writing great
44:21
music like everybody has this it's not a unique
44:25
problem so it's not something that's wrong
44:27
with you if you're getting punched in the face either that was always
44:30
a reminder i needed is like this is not something that's
44:33
wrong with me i'm moving towards something
44:37
bigger and so there will be resistance and
44:40
this is part of the goal part of
44:43
becoming who I'm meant to be and
44:45
these different things that are molding me into something
44:49
more than I am now and it's a painful process but it's it's a good process and
44:54
I still don't want to go through it sometimes but I know it's what I need to
44:58
do and it's always worth it on the other side so for me you you hit it spot
45:04
on you know I'm reminded of a quote by Peter D.
45:08
Daniels a I was listening in Australia and we talked about them in the past, but.
45:15
A quote and i often find myself repeating it to myself and just it's simple
45:20
i'll never give up let up or shut up until god takes me out and it's about pushing
45:27
through that resistance and,
45:30
having a spirit that you can push through you can endure hard things you can
45:36
keep going when the going gets rough.
45:39
And a failure, a true failure is when you start moving, when you stop moving.
45:47
Because when you're not moving, you're not facing resistance,
45:50
you're not taking action.
45:51
It all goes back to as soon as I know who I am, who my father is,
45:58
I develop the courage to start moving.
46:01
I am going to test my strength.
46:04
And when your strength gets tested, and you push through you create influence
46:10
and that influence allows you to to to share to,
46:16
to experience what you know share your experience with what you have that others need as well,
46:23
their identity their strengths the courage for them to push in their new areas
46:29
and boundaries and i think i think it just goes back to you're going to get
46:33
punched sometimes it's going to be a self-employed punch.
46:38
Sometimes it's a punch you don't see coming.
46:41
But if you're not putting yourself in position where that happens,
46:46
I would say you're not going at it.
46:48
And I think that right there is a cause for self-reflection.
46:52
If you're not moving, you're never going to face resistance, right, Caleb?
46:56
You're climbing a mountain, you're facing resistance every step.
47:01
But it's good. It's good.
47:04
That's so true, and especially with like art
47:07
or anything that's a
47:10
creative process it doesn't feel
47:13
like you're getting better when you just do it over and over and over and over
47:16
and over but magically it just works together eventually after just doing it
47:23
over and over and over and you have to deal with the punch of like feeling like
47:27
nothing's happening when things are hidden happening but just you can't see it.
47:34
So it's a great conclusion. We're going to wrap it up with that.
47:37
You guys were very insightful. And I would just say to the listener,
47:41
I think, Tommy, you brought that up.
47:42
This is kind of our four main points is the identity, strength,
47:46
courage, and influence.
47:47
You know who you are when you know who your father is, and that is your purpose.
47:52
And then it should almost become an encouragement to keep pushing the strengths
47:58
you have and discovering the capabilities and exhausting,
48:02
almost in a sense coming to the end of your life of exhausting all
48:06
the things that have been put on the inside of you like letting them
48:10
see how strong they could become and courage
48:13
takes this on all the hits and the different arenas and like you quoted peter
48:18
daniels there's another quote that he said you can't you will never know life
48:21
until you enter the pain arena and people avoid pain we're almost a traumatized
48:27
society that when we think of pain it's like how do i get out of it How do I avoid it?
48:31
How do I smother it? How do I get rid of it?
48:33
And we're not looking at it from a right perspective. The pain arena doesn't
48:37
mean you have to live in torment.
48:39
The pain arena just means you're stepping into arena that your emotions are
48:43
going to be challenged. Your physical is going to be challenged.
48:45
Your mental is going to be challenged. Your relationships are going to be challenged.
48:49
All of the factors of our sensory world are going to be challenged in the best
48:54
arenas that produce the best things.
48:57
And so when I say pain, you create a tolerance, you create an understanding, you create a.
49:03
Development that you're not moved, you're sensitive to, you can be compassionate
49:09
towards, but you're not moved by the pain to make you change course.
49:14
You're still going to keep moving forward. And that becomes a really dangerous
49:18
person. And that's what we were talking about on the point of influence.
49:21
And dangerous when used right.
49:23
You would think about what you could offer to someone else when you don't even
49:26
think about yourself. And that's really what the pain arena does. It separates.
49:31
It's about you and it changes it to it's about something much bigger.
49:37
And there becomes a motivation and drive in that.
49:40
And so with that, we're going to leave you and don't be afraid of getting into the arena.
49:47
Don't be afraid of the punch in the face and don't let the punch define you.
49:51
Learn from it, reevaluate, and move forward.
49:54
With that said, thanks for listening. Keep the faith and stay in the fight.