Latest / Human Design IRL / 4/1 Emotional Manifestor Lyla Fischl | Tarot Cards, Color Theory, Clairsentience, + DIY Vinegar

Transcript

4/1 Emotional Manifestor Lyla Fischl | Tarot Cards, Color Theory, Clairsentience, + DIY Vinegar · Human Design IRL

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, hey there.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Carly, Human Design Medium, and your guide for this podcast.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_03: This is Human Design IRL, where we talk to my favorite women in the world about how their human design shows up in their real lives.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_03: So you have actual examples as you're learning about how your design might show up in yours.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: Here's a clip from today's episode.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: So what you do actually, that's part of your purpose.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: You bring things that are beautiful to the world.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: And that can mean through your art.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: It can also mean, you know, you would never send a PowerPoint that is ugly.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like some people can just send it.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: I what?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, when I started.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, why do I hear you talking and like semi-screaming about color from across the hallway?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Well, have you seen how these two colors vibrate on this PowerPoint?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is awful.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: How are we sending this out to people?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: Before we start the episode, I want to remind you that we talk about specific channels, gates, incarnation crosses, all the stuff in every episode.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: So if you want to grab your chart, now is the time, or head to my website, humandesignmedium.com backslash design.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: There's a free calculator on there.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: You're welcome to use.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: All right, here we go.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just gonna start.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna introduce you.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um I've been uh well, we'll I'm sure at some point it'll come up.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: I I when I find something new that interests me, and like we we had a session before, and I was like, I I was just a wash of so many other things at the same time because I was newly pregnant and all those.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say you were pregnant, yeah.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I was like, I'm learning like I was just a sponge, and now I'm like finally able to research and read and I um I relate things back to tarot and I'm uh my my tarot year is the is five and so I'm telling me yeah, I'm a I'm a hero font, so the hero font is usually also like the Pope figure, the rules, the the structure, and so I obsess over learning all of the structure, yeah, and then try and do something with it.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I might go back and I might start out our interview with that because I think that's so it's so part of your design, but I think it's important for people to hear because I have a lot of friends who do tarot.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: So hi, I'm Carly Arbuckle, Human Design Medium, and this is the Human Design RL podcast.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so welcome.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, I'm interviewing a manifestor and we do a completely new intro.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: So welcome, Lila.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_03: Do you go by Lila Browning Fisher or do you just go by Lila Browning?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it depends on the circles.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm Lyla Fischel to you, and and that's good.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: Lila Browning Fisher is kind of work still because I grew up in the industry that I'm in.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: So they know my dad.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I kind of left that.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: That's okay.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: That makes total and it actually makes sense because it's you have um what's called an open or an undefined G center, which means that your sense of identity is fluid.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but you're you look at the different identities and intentionally choose them.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's a very cool thing too.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um you were also yeah, I was one of your other podcasts, you were talking about that, and I was like, oh my gosh, that's me.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: I can't, I I don't uh I'm like a chameleon to who I'm talking to and where I am.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: And also like there's a power in that, too, in that you get to choose.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: And also, I was just talking to someone who has an open G Center right before this, and she was we were talking about the power in knowing how other people identify and what their direction is and how they love in the world, how they show up in the world.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's love is also part of that, how they show love or how they love in the world.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and maybe we can get some clarity on that.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's also sort of esoteric when I talk about it.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: So I try to articulate it more, but neither here nor there.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm following.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: So here's Lila.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: Lila and I have known each other since we were, I've known you since freshman year.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: So 14.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Relationship can drink.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Shut up.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's such a good way to put it.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: So that's the nature of our relationship.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's all to say.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: And both you and I have a four in our profile, and that's actually our first profile line.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: So what it really means is relationships are everything to us.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: The health of our relationships is the health of our life.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: And that's why I feel like, and I was talking to someone about this, I don't know, another recently, that I feel like there's also a level of intimacy with my relationships with my people that if you're not like I would have really turned you off with how familiar I am with people.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: If do you feel that too as a four line?
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: I also blame it on my Scorpio moon.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm a double Taurus Scorpio moon.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, tell me again.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so tell me how this translates.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm not, I I'm more tarot than I am astrology, but I'm trying.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: More than me.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: Go.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: So for me, the way I think of my Scorpio moon is I I'm not here for the small talk.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: I just, it's like, okay, we're gonna talk about the weather, we're gonna play the niceties, and then it's like, are we are we diving in?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_04: Tell me about your trauma, right?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, tell your your trauma, what your what your hobby is right now.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like I you are, yeah.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's fun to talk about clothes and shopping and gossip, but only if your gossip is grounded in your in your angst.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like okay, so I should mention at this point that manifestors are have a polarizing energy because they are so strong in their vibe.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, people can probably feel your vibe through this this call, and it's your aura is people call it repelling.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like that.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's I can't imagine being a manifest and hearing like you're a repelling person.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what the heck is that?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: The way I see it is you are supercharged and big in you the way that you enter the enter a space.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: And so either it's like positive-negative ions.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: So either people are gonna be really attracted to you or they're going to not be.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_03: You're in some good company.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_03: So can you talk about what that's like to walk into a room?
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, first of all, you're nodding, so I think that resonates with you, but can you talk about how that resonates with you and you know how you've moved through that, especially as an adolescent, having such a big presence with such a personality?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I don't feel like I have a big presence.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: You do.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think it's so I'm in sales now as my day job, and I use it to it's like the only thing I use to command attention.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna boss you around.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not here to to babysit you or coddle you or anything like that.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's more just like if I need to get my message across, we're probably in a situation where you are already listening.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe that is my manifestor coming through, but like that those are the people I talk to.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: That goes back to the no small talk.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I'm just here to get done what needs to be done so that I can go be a Taurus cat on my couch.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like I love that read a book or page, or do like such a good example.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: I even know, I mean, so you're a warmer, warmer, colder, colder of if you're in alignment or not are anger and peace.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_03: And when you're feeling like for a manifester, it's usually people are not understanding you, getting in your way, asking too many questions, want to know more than you're willing to give them up in your space, angry.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: And then and you're feeling like you can't get what you need to get done, done, angry, when you feel like you haven't been heard for what you need to say, angry.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: Then you've got peace, which I think is accurate to describe what you're talking about, but it's more than just like, um, it's not like everything's right with the world, it's like this sense of what you're talking about, like relax, right?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: Is that fair to say?
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that goes to the the not really having a stance.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: We had mentioned earlier the the open G center of like I don't have I don't have this need to make you I want you to understand me, but I'm not here to make you flip sides.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: They will they will people will, yeah.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: I love that, and that's those are the people that I can work with and get projects done.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have a lot of I do have a lot of polarizing specifically in my life in this moment.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: I have some at home, I have some at work, and it's so interesting to have both of these people providing that anger towards me and kind of fueling me, and then either helping, like stepping back or just waiting until I come back to them.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: That makes no sense.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it does.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_03: I know what you're because here's the thing the reason your aura is designed to be polarizing is what I call it.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and Amy Polar is in manifestor.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, I it's a good thing how to remember that.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um Right, exactly, is because people are either need to get on your train or get out of the way.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_03: And the angry part comes from them being in your way, usually, and I what I heard you say, like literally, is what usually if I'm telling you what I need or to giving you manifesting essentially, telling you, informing you, you're ready to listen because otherwise you wouldn't be in the room, you'd be across the other way because people are either there or not.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: And you it speaks to the strategy of informing people, which manifestors tend to be sort of solitary in that they like their space by themselves.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_03: They like the peace, they like to be left alone because they feel when you do have an idea, it's so intense, and the things that you need to get across are so intense, and it's sort of like the the element I compare it to is a lightning bolt because you will have the capacity, and maybe you can talk about times like this where you have something that you need to do that you want to do that comes to you that you need you get supercharged, like you can go for 24 hours without sleep, you can get all of this stuff done, but if you don't inform people around you, it just dies when you are done working because you can't sustain that energy.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_03: Does that resonate with you?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have examples or anything that comes to mind?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: The yard work.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: I could be so fired up.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm gonna weed three gardens and I'm going to make sure all my plants are watered and check on my tomatoes, and I'll come home.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And if I met with a brick wall of like, I had a really tough day, I need to just sit.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, okay, I'll sit with you, and then I do nothing.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, and what strikes me there too is it is manifestors are called visionary.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_03: So you probably have a very clear vision of what you want it to look like, and then you just start doing it.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: You're nodding.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: So I want listeners, so you just start doing it because when you have that idea, you need to get it out, you need to do it, and it feels like you're gonna have that energy forever, but you won't.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: You are the visionary, you are meant to get Jay out there, someone else to help me doing it, right?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: Or whoever else believes in your landscaping vision, you know, to help you.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: That circles back to growing up as an only child and growing up in a household where everyone just helps.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: You're just always moving, you're always doing, and there is a level of anticipation of the other people's needs.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I just stay that's where I end up using most of my flow energy, is just anticipating other what other people need to get done.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: And you grew up kind of on a farm, I guess, is like, I mean, you could call it like it wasn't like you're you know raising cattle, but um a lot of land horses and and acres.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, a lot of a lot of, I mean, that was god, my kids loved that.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um when I forget last time we were at the farm, but refeeding them the apples from the apple tree, you know.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's god I just made apple cider vinegar with apples from the apple tree.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Came home one night with a bucket of apples, and Jay's like, what are we doing?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: I've had a vision.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_03: That's perfect.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um my apples are fermenting.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so part of the healing, I think, there for you, Lai, is you know, growing up in that place, that's where you were like raised and how and your belief systems.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I would argue that part of your life's work is figuring out how to basically you were you are meant to do exactly what you want to do.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how else to put this.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know how to how you let a kid do that.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know how I would let my kid do that, but you are as a manifester, the best thing you can be doing is exactly what you feel like doing.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: Or yeah, for you, you're an emotional authority.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: So exactly what you feel like doing and what you need to do, that's initiating and then informing is just letting people know what you're doing.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: And then they will either not like that or help you out and then help you sustain it.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: That's how you're meant to.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: If we're looking at from like a tribal perspective, like you are the person who gets the map, gets the vision in your head, and you get the energy to get it off the ground, and then you need to recuperate.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's almost like have you read the fourth wing series?
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's on my list.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: So she there's a part that one of them is has a is that's called a lightning wielder.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it's basically like you have to charge, and actually, what spirit's showing me is like one of those old flashes for cameras to where like you can't just flash, flash, flash, flash, flash, like you flash and then it recharges with that little like that little whining, you know, thing.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um, that's you, that's your energy.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: So you can get that huge starting vision, but then you need time to recharge.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so I think growing up in a place where you are meant to not think about what you want, but more about what other people want would put you in a pretty were you an angry teen?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: Were you, I mean, did you how what like what I have no idea?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Like the the conflicts that come up when you're a teen started after I came home from college.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: It was like I'd had I'd finally had a little dose of what everyone else had been seeking for their entire childhood, and I was like, whoa, I I have to make some changes.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: So and so yes, you were.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like really happened, it just happened so much later than it should have.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I feel like I'm a ways behind the curve when it comes to developing that rage, sacred, sacred rage as a woman, you know, but also thinking of other people first is really people are looking to you for that vision, they're looking to you for what you're there to bring, and I would argue maybe even bringing into your family.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you're you were born there for a reason, it might just be healing for you to know that is years of conditioning.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, and not honoring like your intuition comes through how you feel.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: And if you you've done things you didn't feel like doing, and you haven't you didn't get to initiate, didn't get to do the new things you you know, and that's your life experience, it's how it's meant to be.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, and I'm I let's uh let's clarify.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: I had great childhood, I got to do all sorts of things.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like I've seen doors all the time.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: It was no, no, no.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: You and your family were very tight.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: You're the you're the only kid.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: I remember that.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_03: But in terms of like how that carried out, I'm sure, into friendships and how and just beliefs about relationships in general, is um other people first, yeah.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the in high school, I was the Mary Poppins purse.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: My purse always, I I just knew what people around me were gonna need.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, you need a snack here.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: I brought this for you.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is my favorite.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: How'd you know?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I know it's your favorite, so I packed it.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like interesting.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: I've never I haven't, I mean, I know a handful of manifestors, but the ones that I do know have that quality.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: So wow, I'm learning.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_03: So the anticipation of the needs is not necessarily putting others first, it's just a skill set of understanding what needs to happen.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: Is that yeah?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: We're not gonna make it through whatever we left the house to do.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you are not fueled, if I didn't anticipate the needs of the group that I'm traveling with, we're not gonna get to the movie theater.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have to turn around.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm thinking a lot of steps ahead on most of the things I want to go do.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: If I if I am bringing a crew with for it, if I have invited people into my plan.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: I've already thought about what they need to be able to join me.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, yes, and the the manifestor I'm thinking of, I just went on a trip with.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: I was taught like it was great.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: She planned the entire thing because that's what she wanted to do.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: She had our reservations done.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_03: She was like, Well, I went to this place and not this place because I car you couldn't eat there, and I have an idea that we're gonna do this and this and this, and like it's wonderful because we are all her manifestor people, like we are attracted to her, and so it's a very interesting, and I actually have felt this way about you too.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: You've got this really mothery, like nurturey kind of quality.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_03: It's not in a sense of wouldn't describe you as godly, but you are there for people and you are straightforward and you are sincere and authentic, and you show up as yourself, you're reliable in that way.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: I I never thought about that as a manifest or trait, but I think that probably really is.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: Even if like so, identity, when I say identity, by the way, what I mean is how you present to people.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, whether you are a cheerleader or a techie or an artist or a salesperson, some people really attach themselves to I have a set G Center, and you know, it's if you met me now, you would recognize how I appear from when I was 17.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's consistent.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas I found with my people with undefined G Sent, undefined by the way, means that you have gates in it, but it's not colored in.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: Open means I interchange them.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_03: So if anybody's listening, sorry if you're a human design aficionado, but I interchange them.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: But you just people might not recognize you from depending on when they knew you in the past.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: I would agree.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I am, yeah.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_03: There are different on the outside, what you lead with, you are the same energy.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's just you take many different forms.
• 20:42
  unknown: Yes.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: And you are all of them.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's oh yeah.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like there's yeah, I when I'm at home, I'm wearing one hat, and when I'm at the office, I'm wearing a completely different hat.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: If you asked me, I would consider myself an introvert, and I'm a salesperson who spends tons of time talking to people and public speaking, giving sales presentations.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: But if you'd asked me to do that when I was in high school, I would have like, I would have clamped up.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: No way.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you are meant to, by the way.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: You are really like as a manifester, that's literally your superpower is speaking things into.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_03: We were joking before this, the other manifestor friend that I was talking about.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: People are telling her to be careful because she was renting a car and she's like, Oh, I am speed, you know me.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: She got pulled over, she got a speeding ticket.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: Things happen.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like, there's no way we would have even made that trip happen unless she was the person who said we're doing this.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: And so that's the power you yield, Lila Fischel.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: When you want something to happen and you see a vision for it, that's when informing is so huge and you can make such an impact.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: You also have what's called your design sense, which is your superpower.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: This is not gonna be a shock to you.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_03: Lila's an artist, she is outer vision for you.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: very literal for you it's creative you make art with your hands and you are super i mean you don't you have a master's in what's your art uh yeah so i have a undergraduate in studio watercolor with a focus in watercolor paints and then my master's is from Setheby's in art business yeah outer vision yeah I I wrote a thesis on color theory so I'm absolutely obsessed with color and how it interacts with each with each other and how the human brain perceives color oh my god that's so cool I'm seriously just awestruck by that wow I want to read your thesis I can certainly dig you up a copy it's longer than you would expect like what was your what was the finding really that you so what I was doing because it was from an art business perspective I was analyzing auction results based on color theory processes so if a painting is leaning more blue or more red was there a gender connection in who purchased the piece that is so cool that is so manifestory in the scheme of things women are more drawn to blues and men are more drawn to reds I wonder if gay men are more drawn to blues that would be fun to find out yeah I wonder if it has to do with like yeah interest so interesting gow that is the most outer vision thing I've heard in mine so what you do actually that's part of your purpose you bring things that are beautiful to the world and that can mean through your art it can also mean you know you would never send a PowerPoint that is ugly like some people can just send it I what yo when I started my current job I was just our our art director in the office who works on our label design she's like why do I hear you talking and like semi screaming about color from across the hallway and I was like well have you seen how these two colors vibrate on this PowerPoint like this is awful how are we sending this out to people she goes we speak the same language like finally I mean God that's such an amazing like example of your vibe first of all because you are a passionate person and anger is the is the not self right so if you're not being heard that's what's gonna come out but also like how the colors vibrate together how you know yeah it's not that you like you wouldn't you're a relationship person relationships are life for you you would never you know but like colors have a relationship yes right yes that is such an innovative specific way of thinking and I think it's very cool.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: I would love to learn I feel like I'm being manifestorized right now like I feel like I want to learn more about that that's so it's something I didn't even think about you know what I mean the color wheel and how it affects you and emotionally I mean yeah so we can talk about here this is your channel 1222 and this is about when the timing is right so you need to be in the right mood.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: Your words can deeply move others and evoke a wide range of emotions in them.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: Your life is driven by passion and intense feelings it's important for you to practice patience and wait for the right moment before taking action.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: This patience refines your emotional responses and enhances your influence on others which it sounds like you have gotten really good at timing because you know people really well.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: As a manifest of course you have influence but that speaks to everything you just talked about that's that's something and I mean my passion project is I am still trying to paint a tarot deck.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well and my idea behind it is to use colors tied with the elements because most of the cards have an elemental tie to them too.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah so you focus on the element and the color and help that help the viewer the user be able to intuitively interpret the card because they feel that from the color and from the symbols.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: So you're learning what it means basically through I mean you could be a Mac designer that's how Mac thinks what a cool and I'm glad that you're sharing this because by the way maybe someone picks this up and is like I'm gonna pay you a bajillion dollars to do this.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: That'd be fun.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah that's that's your job as a manifestor start it get it started talk to people about your idea and see who shows up to help you because they will this has been a work in progress for a while I'm excited for when it comes to fruition so something else that I wanted to talk about so manifestors are rare right so they are nine percent of the population even rarer is your profile which is this 4-1 you talked about being able to see from all sorts of different angles but not be swayed by any of them it's just being able to see all of them.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: That is this profile so you are not here to learn through the collective you're not here to learn through your own experience you are in a fixed trajectory so you would be very clear in where you're like you're not changing because of something you discover or something that other people bring into your lives you are fixed.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_03: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Does that resonate with you at all in terms of your life experience I am searching for a connection but I feel like I that resonates and I'm just trying to think of an example of when it would have played out.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: Here let me look it up in the official book and this can be a little esoteric that you're a woo-woo person so you're not gonna no I'm I'm game okay so here's your two four and three okay four one they call at you the opportunist investigator represents an interesting juxtaposition of the socially open friendly four line and the unconscious introverted an insecure one line so he's just this guy who wrote this is a manifester polarizing right I would never tell someone they're insecure because all of that feels good I am I am a self-proclaimed introvert like he he nailed it right there like you are a manifestor supporting another manifestor I've never met this person before no this is the founder of human design this is so the first line is the foundation of the lower triagram okay so the lines are um broken into the analogy that is used is a house so you know stacked one two three four up and six is the top one is the bottom one is the foundation of the house you need to have information you need to feel to feel safe and grounded so the fourth line is up higher so that's what he's talking about in this so the first line is the foundation of the lower triagram so one two three which have to do with yourself and then the fourth line is the foundation of the upper triagram.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: So the one through three is really self-focused the four through six is other focused and you have a balance of both so it's not like you're being pulled or swayed in either direction does that make sense yeah it's the foundation on both levels creating harmony of purpose it this is a unique profile that comprises about only two percent of the world's population with its fixed fate this is fixed fate um serves as a bridge between the right angle personal destiny and left angle transpersonal karma neither neither this nor that neither personal nor transpersonal there is only one juxtaposition profile for each hexagram the 4-1 moves along its own specific line of geometry like a train train on a track that has a movement and direction through life and cannot be altered you're designed to study learn and establish a strong solid foundation in an area of life that fascinates you then influence others with your knowledge base that resonate yes your foundation is whatever the thing you love to immerse yourself in and you want to share with others yes cool I have some work to do oh I was like you need to go no no it's like okay well that's a prept but thanks for coming what I'm reading from by the way is the definitive book of human design by Linda Banal who is you know this is my textbook when I was learning human design I think when you were talking about needing to shift there are ways of telling like warmer colder if you're out of alignment but how can I say this?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna ask spirit because your sign of not self or misalignment is anger no one wants to feel like they're angry all the time.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to think of a different way to it's like knowing something can be better and watching it fail is what they're saying.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_03: Does that make sense to you?
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: So it's not necessarily I'll if someone comes at me with a combative opinion or process that they want me to do, I will wait them out.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_03: In a simmer though, right?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: So that's what they're talking about.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_03: If you're more simmery then you are feeling at peace like exhaling okay so what they're saying now is if you're more holding your breath then you are exhaling.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: That's your warmer colder.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_03: That's a cool way to put that yes I like that yeah you're such a small piece of the population and we are conditioned to be like each other which is just the irony right human design is the science of differentiation because we all have important puzzle pieces we need to use and put together but we have all over the past and astrologically I know this is a thing too over the past 400 years we've been trying to build this one thing that we all belong to.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_03: Now we've done that and it's important to come back to ourselves and what makes us unique.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: So we're unconditioning ourselves that way and you especially as someone who's 2% of the population you don't have an example of what that looks like you only have a feeling of ostracized when you are not like everybody else yeah yeah and as a manifestor you're so important you bring these things out you make them happen it it feels like a like I said I have a lot of work to do I feel like I'm gonna have one of those energy spurts that you were mentioning of run run run and then end up at the end of it be like wait what am I doing?
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: Where am I going?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_03: Just tell everybody just tell everybody what you're doing while you're doing it because you'll get that charge to do it.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's the that's the job you know and it's yeah it's it will come through you but that's one of the biggest empowering things in human design is you learn this about yourself and it's like oh no no where everybody else can't initiate you can you're meant to you have to because no one sees what you see in color theory you know no one sees that this is something that can add value or add value God corporate talk that adds so much to humanity you know what I mean with your gift of having the ability to make things happen.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not like you have to do anything other than be yourself.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: But when you find that out in your chart especially if someone like you who has not had an example or anybody affirm that that can be so powerful.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you feel like you want to be more of yourself is that when you say you have a lot of work to do it says that I need to be working on fashion projects more than than I I have been but then also that's it's everything's always the jump start of go paint like what are you doing stop doing that turn around go inside go paint or take your paints with you and go somewhere which just doesn't work when you have a corporate job no speaking from my own experience I can only speak from that but when you start to honor your design you know for me as a projector it's 20% of the population so not as drastic but um people start people notice um I became a much happier more fulfilled version of myself and you've got to figure out a place to be where you can exist in mainstream you know you you're not gonna leave the planet but the the promise of being in alignment with your own energy is that everything you don't have to do anything but be in alignment with who you are the universe takes care of it but it can look much different than where you are now and so some of those changes can be it's hard but the universe will always take care of you and support you as you're doing that.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: But I understand completely especially where we are when our life is moms taking care of other people and you know feeling like we need to be responsible and yeah you know it will lead to somewhere even better than you imagine when you connect with and are in alignment with who you are because it makes you the best version of yourself.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: So when you were talking about I want to go back and get my paints off do you feel yourself returning to a sense of what's yours when you say I need to return to I return to the same thing what are you talking about?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think that what I'm feeling is I I'm super out of alignment with developing an actual purpose that feels unique.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: And now that you've kind of called out just how unique my profile is I feel this pressure to develop that story.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: What is that story for myself now?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that goes to what you were saying earlier of I am not the same person I was the interests right now are flitting around too much.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have one I don't focus on one passion project and finish it.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just I'm flighty right now.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm I mean and that's fine that's the un undefined G Center too you can be whoever you want to be you've got this you know you can be whichever identity that you want to be and you can try on on all of those things.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_03: There's nothing you need to do other than being yourself.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean what's interesting is you you have these unique ideas and you also have these two left facing arrows on the upper left side of your chart which would suggest that you would operate best you would have the most clarity when when you eat regularly and when you have a sense of routine or structure doesn't need to be the same thing every day but having a set for instance if we were in a reading and you were talking about wanting to get your tarot cards done it would be like setting a time or setting a cadence every three months I'm gonna check in on this every you know that would be a helpful tool for you to make time to live your intention because living in what really feels good to you will it looks a lot different than other people.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: So starting little things like that things that you really want to make happen like I said you're here to do what you want to do.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: I like that I mean I I joke with myself all the time about scheduling and really yeah yeah it's goes back to what we were saying of I can have all this momentum and then I will run into someone in my life who I'm interacting with that day and they will just squash it be like oh yeah I want to do your thing that's such an interesting trajectory is like you have that momentum and unless people are aware of it who can jump on the train you just like you absorb their identity you absorb you know how they're thinking you absorb their energy like their sense of we are I call us solar powered us us non-sacrales meaning that you don't have um you don't wake up with a full battery every morning oh not at all yeah and we are meant to work in spurts for you actually it's much bigger more exaggerated than the spurts that I have like you are like I said you're I don't know if I've told you your greyhound energy or like that's what a manifesto is like you're either racing or you're a couch potato yes that feels right you have the energy when you race but you can't race your entire life and so when you're trying to get something off the ground what Spirit's telling me right now actually is it's like you're a I don't God I don't even know if the book Kite Runner is about this but it's like you you the you're the one that gets it up in the air but then you're exhausted.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: So you need to hand it to someone and if no one's in the field knowing that you're running it then you don't have anybody to hand it to and it just yeah you know until it you can go at it again.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: Does that resonate it does it does and the problem is I'm such a a a loner in my creative process that sitting joining one of those groups I I have a couple of different groups that have open work hours where everyone just has their Zoom open and they're noodling away at whatever their project is I can't for the life of me make my schedule match up with one of those.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_01: So something's just not right with doing a group timed work experience.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if I had that kind of accountability around me, I probably would out of defense, I would be like yeah I'm here I'm doing it.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah right well and also I mean it's when you were doing it for someone else it's a whole lot easier to show up than doing it.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_03: Knowing that you need structure and routine doesn't mean you'll do it if your son has something going on.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_03: Or like I feel like we put ourselves you know at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to that.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know that's a that's a woman thing.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah so is being incredible and smart and kick ass and intuitive and all the wonderful things.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: But that's something we've been conditioned to do absolutely so I did a a ritual leading up to New Year's okay and it was you wrote out 13 different things you wanted to work on kind of like if you were to make a New Year's resolution list you had 13 items on it.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: And one night starting from the winter solstice you didn't look at the pieces of paper you just had them folded up individually you wrote them down individually and you folded the pages up you toss them into a fire and you burn one a night leading up to New Year's Day.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that one you're left with is the one you have to work on.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_01: The rest of them spirit's gonna help you with yeah that sounds right you do one 15th yeah yeah it's like and and you have no control over it you're not sitting there picking which one you're gonna end up with and this this wasn't my idea I got this from a really wonderful creative that I'm following on all of the socials the one I ended up with is my ritual practice enhances my trust in spirit so you telling me that I need to build a schedule to put in the work on on my creative projects is like to hold space it's not even putting it's not even the doing you get to do what you want but holding space yeah three hours a week I am just right in my in my space I we're actually in my studio space right now.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_03: So it's lovely doing what you want to do it's it's not interrupting the flow it's actually helping you to receive it more clearly because it's in line with who you are so the arrows on the other side of that you are also a non-specific manifestor there's a difference between being a manifestor which you are that's your type and manifestation which is co-creation with the universe this is has to do with your thinking right um so cognitive praying if you want to call it that or setting goals or whatever.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_03: So specific manifestors that's where and ironically that's where vision boards come in where you're very specific about what you want for you that's not necessarily the way that you're Manifestation works or is designed to work.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_03: You're designed really to be more about what you feel.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I've I've worked with people who are non-specific manifestors who say their vision board is more full of what the feelings they want than the thing that they want.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_03: So you would be giving God the paintbrush and saying, This is how I want to feel.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: This is these are the this is the color scheme I want.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then you let it go and you live your life.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_03: Have you ever asked for something or have you ever tried to manifest something specific and had it not feel very natural?
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, when I get too specific about things, it does not it doesn't work out.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't flow.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_01: Or the the project itself ends up upside down.
• 44:52
  unknown: Okay.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have an example?
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um well because I have too many hobbies, I make jewelry too.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have too many hobbies.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's beaded jewelry.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'll be moving things around and around and around and I'll think I have a plan.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then I will start to do it in groups of numbers, in threes or fives.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'll finish the project and I'll look back and realize one section has a four in it and not a three or a five.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the whole thing is a little bit off, a little bit sideways.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because I counted too many times.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: But when I go ahead and set the whole thing up with the focal bead over instead of right in the middle, works great.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_03: So you're working then more intuitively, or working more, you're just watching it come to life based on what you're the flow of it.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_03: Is that rather than following a map that you've created?
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: I am not good at making vision boards at all.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_03: They stress me out.
• 45:57
  unknown: Yeah.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: Well, if you're not not good at them, they stress you out.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_03: And that's they're meant to not, they're not, they're meant to actually be, you know, helpful and useful.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: And when I put that much effort down in one way, I have created the art and I want to move on from it.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because I made it aesthetically pleasing over there.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'm gonna try and carry that into the next step, I reinvent it each time.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_03: Because it's more of the I would hypothesize is because it's more of the feeling that you want and that what you're feeling in the moment is what you put on, but then you change.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_03: And it's you still want the same feeling, it just looks different.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's interesting.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_03: I love that.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_01: Once I've once I've thought something through enough to make it into a vision board or a collage or a collection or something, I'm like, good, I made art and I move on and I I don't go back to whatever it was that I was building.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't become it's not something you hold.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the sketch doesn't become a final painting.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_01: I don't sit on the the street corner and sketch the scene and then go home and successfully recreate it in a larger, more detailed scale.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: I just I'm like, good, I captured the scene, I moved on.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's the feeling.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's also as you're developing your gifts, because you are also intuitive and will-whill like me.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_03: I've also found that people who have this arrow facing this way start with more clairsentience.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for telling me because I've been trying to figure out which one I needed to focus on, and it's been driving me absolutely bananas.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, there's your team.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: Say coming through to let you know.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_03: But that's that's what comes most naturally, which is hard for someone with outer vision, right?
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_03: So because you're such a visual person and clairvoyance is really what's shown, you know, in most when you think of psychics, you think of seeing something in your mind's eye, which is your imagination.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's the same thing.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_03: Not to like everybody has this capability.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: You just ruined everyone's plan.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's I mean, you can come talk to me.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: I've done a lot of developing of that muscle, but I'm not special.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_03: I everybody has their ability to do it.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's just for you, like, and I wonder actually, Spiritus, like if you're imagining a beach or something, maybe you're feeling it more than you before you see it.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_03: And that sense is just more innate.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're looking at developing and if you want to start honing in on your ability to channel, the feelings would be an easier, more or not easier, it would be more natural feeling to you.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_03: It'd be it'd be less of a you would just have to learn the other ones.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_03: And actually, yeah, you also I don't know why I also feel compelled to talk to you about oh, Clare Audience.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_03: Because I think you'd enjoy this actually, and I think maybe people will just enjoy this.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_03: I learned Clare Audience by using the Merlin Bird ID app.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if you have ever heard of this.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, yes.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like when you turn 38, it's like everybody is a bird watcher all of a sudden.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: I get up in the mornings, and if I have a couple minutes to myself, I will go sit on my back porch.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_01: I live on water, so we have all sorts of and we have this great migratory season of like the month of April and the month of October.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: You can hear all sorts of things, but yes.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_03: So you have it.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_03: So you that can also help you develop Claire Audience.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's different energies.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_03: Blue Jays are my angels, but I found that they have so many different ways of speaking that it's really me tuning into their energy to try to recognize them as a blue jay every time.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I just I don't know why Spirit wanted me to let you know too that that's a way to develop your clear audience.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: Cool.
• 49:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like that.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_01: I have a few birds who are that I believe are specific people.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, that makes sense.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and feeling into their energy, so you then learning into okay, so what's the feeling?
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_03: Because I would bet like manifestors who channel are just so powerful because your aura is so big.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_03: You just have to really channel through like the soles of your feet.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sure you've done those meditations where you pull up source energy and then you know expand it through your crown chakra into your area.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_03: The way I work with that is I ask different angels to step into my space one at a time so that I get to know their energy and you can feel that as a clear sentient person.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_03: Ask those people who you who show up for you to who can validate, ask their energy to step into yours to see how it shifts, and then you recognize okay you know the different who they are and who they are based on not just how they look, but how they feel, and then all the other players are there too.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_03: You have all of them, but last thing I want to talk about is this channel of it's called the channel of struggle.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_03: I want to alchemize this because I feel like people talk about trauma being locked in here and overcoming.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm gonna read what it says.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: I did some pre-research on this to wrap my mind around it and talk to Spirit about it.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_03: So, how we can alchemize this.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_03: Channel of struggle, driven by the inner pressure to find your own path.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_03: You consistently seek new experiences and take risks to give your life meaning, no matter how challenging the journey may be.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_03: Your existence resembles a heroic journey filled with challenges.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_03: It remains essential to be authentic, to follow your own path, regardless of the opinions of others.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_03: Does that resonate with you on the on its head?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's why I am trying to make vinegar.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like there is like I need I need to figure out if if I am more of an herbalist or if I am more which direction do I really want to head down?
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, think I'll make some vinegar.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_03: So what I talked to someone about with with one of these gates earlier.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_03: It's about needing to sort of fight and have things that feel worthy to you, something that you fought for, that is well earned, that you've quote unquote struggled through.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_03: And then you've got it tied into this spleen.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_03: Your spleen is the oldest, it's the oldest energy center.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's about what's safe and what's not, in the way that a deer knows if the field is safe.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's precognitive, it's not, it's quiet, it's not a huge gut feeling or a huge for you, a huge feeling feeling subtle, right?
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_03: So a sense of what's a healthy risk.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_03: So you're combining a need to fight for things with a need to sort of have it be high stakes.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the vinegar is not high stakes.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_03: But you have the the shadow side is a fear of running out of time, of life being over before you have the impact that you want it to have, and combine that with that need to fight for things.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_03: So when I was talking to this other person about this, like just knowing that there's this part of you that feels complete when you are struggling through something, and then having it be important enough to make an impact, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're always going to be struggling in your life, it just means that's something that makes you feel like like whole, you know what I mean?
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_03: So for her, yeah.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_03: So it give me examples, give me examples.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, um, procrastination.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: If I can wait on a major project, like it can be I will know that we're having house guests for a week and I'm getting better about it.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: We're two days before I start cleaning.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: But three days before that, I've decided I need to do all of the laundry, not just some of it.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: I just need to do all the laundry and then I can start cleaning.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's don't need to be done in that order.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_01: That person visiting doesn't need to know that every sock in the house is clean, but every sock in the house is going to be clean because if I can get it all done because I have an excuse to do part of it, I get to then relish in the fact that I did all of it instead of just the outside.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_03: So I love that.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's just like this part of you that feels value in you know, in the rush of yeah, yeah, of powering through, like, oh, I'm tired.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_01: I could have been doing this three days ago, but now I'm doing it, and it's 10 o'clock at night, and I'm gonna scrub this kitchen counter.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_01: This white laminate counter is not gonna get any cleaner.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's white laminate, and yeah, that is cranberry juice, it is stained.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_03: And also, you're a mom, and also like everybody's a human being, and when you walk into someone's house and it's not perfect, it makes you feel more relaxed.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_03: We tell ourselves this stuff all the time.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_03: If you want that to shift, if you feel like it's too much, maybe learn something you don't know.
• 55:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like over find something to overcome that's not directly tied to your self-esteem or to sense of self so that it doesn't feel like the world is gonna end if you don't get this thing done.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: But it's also includes it as part of your life.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_03: And also then you can take on things that you don't know, you can go through them knowing that you will get to the other side and it will and being motivated to get to the other side because you know the risk will pay off.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I can feel this.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's why I went to New York for grad school.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me more.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: It was completely on a whim.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_01: I just sent in my application and got an acceptance letter.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, come for an interview, and I was like, hey dad, you want to go to New York for the week?
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because I have an interview for grad school, and he's like, What?
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_01: When did you do this?
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_03: Amazing.
• 56:12
  SPEAKER_03: A manifest her doing what she wants and then informing.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_03: Got it.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, yep.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I went out and I did that program and met one of my main people in my life out there.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_01: But the struggle in the middle of it was so fierce that there's no way you could get me to do more school ever again.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_01: But little courses and reading, I I'm still obsessed with knowledge and absorbing.
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: But that that pressure and that doing that project was it's the thing that I'll say I will never do again, but I won't take back.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that speaks to this sense of there's this fear side of what if I don't have what if I run out of time?
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_03: What if I run out, what if I don't make the impact I want to make?
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_03: But also, from what I'm hearing from you, sort of gives a sense of clarity as to what you do want to spend your time on by going through and experiencing it yourself.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think I am holding my breath, waiting for that next project.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: What is the next thing I'm gonna do that I can compare to New York in my life?
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, being a mother is gonna be that, but what am I gonna do for myself?
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's for my family.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_01: So now I'm like holding my breath for what major jump I have to take next to get that rush.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_03: The question is, what do you want to do?
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then doing it.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_03: That clarity is easy, it's just like the giving yourself permission to do it and knowing that you're probably pretty unique in the way that you're gonna do things.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_03: That's the magical thing for you, and maybe it comes through struggle, maybe it doesn't, but it sounds like you've discerned you don't want to go to school and you overcame that and you felt that, right?
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_03: But you it taught you about what is worth the risk, where you want to take the next adventure, where you want to give your life meaning.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's so cool.
• 58:15
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I would tell you to do what you want, but you know it's easier to do it would take a little while to keep the lights on.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, say God, and that's so real.
• 58:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's so real.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_03: Which the guy who invented human design would say about that is if you live in totally alignment, everything will figure itself out.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_03: But that kind of risk doesn't, you know, it's that's a really hard thing to do.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I think this the more accessible way to do this in human design is to just every day honor yourself a little bit more, knowing that for you, your opportunities also by the way, as a four line are gonna come through people you know.
• 58:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um and you are meant to initiate things, so even if no one's given you permission, initiating and telling people I'm gonna make a tarot deck and I'm gonna have it include color theory to make it more accessible for people, letting people know that.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_03: And that's in just in little ways.
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_03: All right, Lai.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for doing this.
• 59:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thank you.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for, I mean, gosh, you were so generous in sharing examples of each part of your design.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_03: That's really the main goal of all of this.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I hope that it is helpful for others.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_03: You're amazing.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_03: Even just hearing you talk about your grad school stuff and your ideas and how you think about things.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_03: I love talking to you about this kind of stuff.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_03: So thank you for sharing and being so generous.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_03: Of course.
• 59:45
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, thank you.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, where can people find you?
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm on TikTok and Instagram, Lila B's Art.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's where I share my musings and random pictures of clouds because I find it really fun to see what you see in the shapes and the clouds.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit of childhood whimsy.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh everybody go if you especially if you've heard something here that inspires you, what you need is some generators to help you to jump onto your vision, then reach out to Lila and or reach out to me and I'll connect you.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always here for the whimsy.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_03: And for the apple cine and burger and the bird calls.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_03: Chickadee Dee Dee.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, right.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that was fun.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for being here.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_03: If you find yourself wanting to be in the hot seat to know more about your design, to connect to your spirit team so you can feel grounded and confident in who you are.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_03: Feel free to check out my website, www.humandesignmedium.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_03: I've got programs, I've got plans, I've got a free design calculator to use when you visit.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_03: Girl, you are unconditionally loved, supported, and cherished by spirit.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_03: You are who and how you're meant to be.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just here to help you see yourself more clearly.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_03: How's that for a Midwestern goodbye?