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Pray for Those Who Abuse You | John Piper · Reformed Thinking

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  Welcome to Reformed Thinking and thanks for joining us for the
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  Deep Dive. This is where we sift through
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  stacks of research, articles, books, all that stuff and pull
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  out the key insights for you. We want to help you get really
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  well informed, maybe find a few surprising details, and
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  hopefully have a bit of a good time doing it.
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  It's all tailored for you, the listener today.
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  Wow. We're tackling a big one, a
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  really foundational instruction from Jesus, but one that's,
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  let's be honest, often difficult.
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  It's the command to love our enemies and pray for those who
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  abuse us. It's just some nice idea.
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  It's right there in the text. We're digging into some great
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  material, leaning heavily on John Piper's work, All that
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  Jesus commanded, plus our own notes.
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  Our goal today to really get the full picture of this command,
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  not just what love your enemies means on the surface, but how it
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  connects with, well, the reality of evil, what real prayer looks
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  like in this context, and that huge offer of forgiveness at the
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  core of our faith. You might actually discover some
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  angles on Christian love you haven't quite considered before.
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  So let's start right at the heart of it.
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  Jesus's own words, Matthew 5.44, he says plainly, love your
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  enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
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  And Luke 6.28 echoes it, adding pray for those who abuse you.
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  I mean, when you first hear that, it just sounds like such a
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  high bar, doesn't it? Maybe even impossible.
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  Oh, absolutely. It really turns our usual way of
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  thinking about interactions, about justice, even completely
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  on its head. What these commands really show
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  us is Jesus's specific understanding of love.
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  It's not just about, you know, doing nice things outwardly,
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  although that's involved. Fundamentally, it's a
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  disposition of the heart. It's a genuine desire.
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  This love genuinely wants the good, the true good of the
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  person causing the harm, the persecutor, the abuser.
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  The actual person hurting you. Yes, it's an active seeking of
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  their well-being, and not just their temporary comfort, but
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  their ultimate, especially spiritual good.
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  And we see this reinforced, don't we, in that related
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  command in Luke 6.28. Bless those who curse you right
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  now. Bless here isn't just like
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  wishing them a nice day. In this context, it means
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  desiring their well-being both now and eternally and actually
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  voicing that desire to God for them.
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  It kind of echoes those old covenant blessings like a number
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  six. You know the.
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  Lord, make his face shine upon you.
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  Exactly that kind of thing. The idea is longing for God's
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  light, his favor, to shine on that person, and crucially,
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  maybe to melt their heart. You know, to bring about a
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  change. It's a desire for their complete
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  turning around spiritually, getting right with God.
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  It goes way beyond just wanting them to prosper materially.
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  OK, that really helps from it, but let's get into something
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  that sounds, well, like a complete contradiction.
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  At first, the material we looked at makes this pretty bold
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  statement that true love must include hate.
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  Now hold on, how does that work? Christian love involving hate?
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  It feels counterintuitive, maybe even wrong.
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  Yeah, it definitely jolts you a bit.
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  And this is where we really need to move past a sort of
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  sentimental idea of love that's easy to fall into.
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  If love truly desires the good of a person, logically it cannot
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  be indifferent to the things that are actually destroying
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  them. Think about it.
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  If you love someone, truly care for their well-being, you can't
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  just shrug your shoulders at the things that are harming them,
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  whether it's self-destructive behavior or something external.
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  In a world like ours, which is, let's face it, full of real evil
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  that hurts people and dishonors God, real love can't be neutral.
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  It just can't. For love to be genuine, it has
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  to include a deep aversion of, well, a hatred for that specific
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  evil that's causing the damage. So this hate we're talking
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  about, it's not personal spite, not wanting revenge or seeing
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  them fail, no. Absolutely not.
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  That's a critical distinction. It's described as a moral
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  repugnance. It's a deep loathing for the
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  evil itself, the destructive action or attitude, not a desire
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  for the person's ultimate destruction.
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  This is key. It's not even just that
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  simplified phrase hate the sin, love the Sinner.
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  Where there's a kernel of truth there, it's maybe a bit more
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  complex. You can recognize someone's
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  character or actions as genuinely wicked, morally
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  repulsive even, and still feel pity for them, still desire
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  their salvation. The source uses a very strong
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  example. Yeah, I saw that the
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  cannibalistic murderer and child abuse are pretty extreme.
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  Extremely vile. Yet the point is, even facing
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  that level of wickedness, the command implies, you could in
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  principle still be willing to act for their eternal good,
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  maybe even lay down your life for their chance at redemption.
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  The kind of hate Jesus forbids, the hate that's incompatible
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  with this love is the that actively wills their
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  destruction, that wants them damned.
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  That's off the table. That distinction really does
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  make a huge difference in understanding it.
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  And the sources connect this to something in the Old Testament,
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  the the imprecatory Psalms. What's the deal with those?
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  How do they fit in? Ah, yes.
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  The imprecatory Psalms. These are songs where the writer
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  expresses a really strong aversion, A hatred even for
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  God's enemies, and calls for God's judgment, sometimes quite
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  vividly upon them. Psalm 139 is a clear example,
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  Verses 19 to 22. Oh, that you would slay the
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  wicked. Oh God, do I not hate those who
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  hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who
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  rise up against you? I hate them with complete
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  hatred. I count them my enemies.
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  Strong stuff. Yeah, very strong.
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  What's really significant for us, though, is that Jesus knew
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  these psalms. He quoted the Psalms constantly,
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  and he never condemned these particular Psalms.
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  In fact, he seemed to draw on some of them, like Psalm 69, to
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  understand his own experience in mission.
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  So he saw them as scripture, as having authority.
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  It certainly appears so. Psalm 69 has lines he fulfilled.
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  Like they hated me without a cause or zeal for your house has
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  consumed me. And that same Psalm has some
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  very harsh implications. Prayers for judgement.
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  Like pour out your indignation upon them.
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  Often these Psalms seem to reflect situations where
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  wickedness has been incredibly stubborn, where love and
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  patience have been extended for a long time but met only with
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  hardened resistance. Like in Psalm one or nine maybe
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  in return for my love they accuse me.
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  They reward me evil for good and hatred for my love.
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  Exactly that sense of persistent, unyielding
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  hostility. Now, the hatred in these psalms
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  isn't presented as just the psalmist personal vendetta.
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  It's often understood prophetically.
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  It foreshadows the Messiah Jesus in his role as the ultimate
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  judge. He has the rightful authority to
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  execute judgement on God's enemies.
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  It's like a preview of what will happen on the last day.
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  OK, so it points to final judgement.
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  Yes, and for us today, these Psalms are a reminder, really a
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  caution. We need to leave that final
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  judgement, that perfect execution of justice and wrath
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  to God. We don't have the perfect wisdom
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  or righteousness to make those calls.
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  We're flawed. Our own hearts aren't pure
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  enough to hate perfectly like God does.
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  So our primary calling, our job description in this age remains
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  what Jesus said. Love your enemies, pray for
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  them, return good for evil. That's our focus.
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  That's helpful. The discussion also mentioned
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  something that really struck me. No evil ever hurts only you.
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  Can you unpack that a bit? How does my private sin affect
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  others? Yeah, that's a searching
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  thought, isn't it? It really challenges our
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  individualistic mindset sometimes.
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  What it means is that everything we do, even things we think are
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  secret or only affect us, actually impacts our
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  relationship with Jesus, our delight in Him.
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  And if our delight in Him is diminished, our ability to show
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  him as valuable, as satisfying to others is also diminished.
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  See, God made us fundamentally to reflect his glory, to display
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  His worth so that others might see it and be drawn to Him and
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  find their joy in Him too. That's arguably the greatest
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  good we can do for anyone, right?
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  Showing them Jesus. Exactly.
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  So if our actions or attitudes with the Bible call sin or evil
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  damage that reflection, if they make Jesus look less wonderful
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  in our lives, then we are in effect robbing others of that
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  opportunity. We're obscuring the very thing
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  they need most. So that kind of evil, whether
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  it's harming ourselves or directly harming others, is the
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  opposite of love because it hinders that display of God's
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  worth. Therefore, love must hate that
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  evil, whether it's seeing it in a loved one or recognizing it
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  painfully in ourselves. It gets in the way of God's
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  glory and others good. This whole picture of love,
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  then, seems to push back hard against a common idea today.
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  You know this call for tolerance of all views?
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  The source material says that kind of tolerance is actually
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  the opposite of love. That's a really strong claim.
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  Why say that? It is strong and it's meant to
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  be. It's trying to wake us up from
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  what Piper calls the sentimental slumbers of much love talk, a
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  worldview, or even just a personal stance that becomes so
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  broad, so mushy, so afraid of drawing lines that you can't
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  even call something evil. Because it might offend someone.
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  Because it fears offending the demand for tolerance above all
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  else. That kind of stance, the source
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  argues, ends up condoning what destroys.
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  Jesus was clear. There is real evil that leads to
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  destruction, and there is real good found in him that leads to
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  everlasting life. He drew lines.
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  So if we minimize evil, if we downplay its reality or its
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  consequences, instead of hating it and resisting it, we actually
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  become complicit. We participate, maybe passively,
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  but still participate in the destruction it causes.
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  And that clearly isn't the kind of robust, comprehensive love
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  Jesus commanded. Real love wants the best for
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  others, and that means opposing what truly harms them.
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  It requires discernment, not just blanket acceptance.
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  OK, so we've talked about the nature of this love, including
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  its necessary aversion to evil. Now let's shift to the action
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  Jesus commands alongside it. Praying for enemies.
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  Pray for those who persecute you.
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  Pray for those who abuse you. Yes, and this command, this
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  action tells us something really key about the internal reality
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  of Christian love. It shows it's not just about
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  gritting your teeth and being nice on the outside.
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  It involves A genuine internal desire directed toward God.
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  It's about having a real God word desire for the good of our
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  enemy, meaning we actually want them to experience God's best,
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  not just, you know, earthly success or getting out of our
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  hair. Something much bigger.
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  So what is that best? If we're translating that desire
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  into actual prayers, what should we be asking for?
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  How specific should we get? That's a practical question,
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  isn't it? Are we just supposed to say Lord
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  bless my enemy and leave it vague?
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  Yeah, because sometimes I can feel a bit thin, especially when
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  the hurt is real. Well.
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  Jesus doesn't leave us guessing, He actually gives us a model.
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  The implication is that we should pray the same substantial
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  God focused things for our enemies that he taught us to
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  pray for ourselves. You mean the Lord's Prayer?
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  Exactly. Matthew 6.9 to 13.
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  That's our template. Think about the scale of what we
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  asked for there. It would be strange, wouldn't
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  it, to think that loving prayer for an enemy should aim lower
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  than the prayers we pray for our own souls.
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  That wouldn't be full love. OK, so walk us through that.
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  How does the Lord's Prayer apply to praying for an enemy all?
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  Right, let's break it down. Following that pattern, When we
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  pray for our enemies, we should ask God specifically for these
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  things first. That they would hallow God's
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  name, Meaning, we pray that they would come to treasure God above
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  everything else. That they'd reverence him,
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  admire him, see his worth for what it truly is.
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  It's a prayer for their hearts to be turned toward worship, for
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  God to become their greatest delight instead of whatever
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  they're currently chasing. Imagine praying that for someone
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  who's hurt you. Wow.
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  OK, what's next? Second, the God's Kingdom would
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  come in their lives were asking that they would submit to God's
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  saving rule, that they willingly become his subjects, part of his
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  Kingdom. So basically praying for their
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  conversion for them to become Christians, Yes.
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  Praying for their rescue from darkness, their entry into God's
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  light, that they truly follow Christ. 3rd That they would love
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  to do God's will. Praying that they would actually
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  desire to do what pleases God and do it wholeheartedly,
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  joyfully, like the angels in heaven.
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  It's a prayer for a transformation of their desires
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  so they find pleasure in obedience, not in harmful ways.
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  OK, that's a big ask too. It is.
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  Then 4th, that God would supply all their physical resources.
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  So practical needs as well. Absolutely.
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  Food, clothing, shelter, health, work, whatever they need to live
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  and fulfill whatever calling God might have for them.
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  We should desire these basic provisions for them, just as we
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  desire them for ourselves. God often uses physical means to
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  draw people. Makes sense?
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  What else? 5th And this is huge, that their
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  sins would be forgiven, and that they would become forgiving
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  people themselves. Both receiving and giving
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  forgiveness. Exactly, praying for their
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  reconciliation with God through Christ's work and for their
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  hearts to soften so they can extend grace to others, breaking
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  cycles of bitterness. And finally 6th.
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  That God would protect them from temptation and from the
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  destructive forces of the devil, praying for their spiritual
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  safety, asking God to guard them from influences that would lead
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  them further into sin and opposition to him shielding them
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  from evil. That is incredibly
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  comprehensive. It's praying for their total
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  well-being, body and soul oriented towards God.
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  That's the idea. This full orbed love aims for
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  nothing less than the exaltation of God in the heart of their
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  enemy and their eternal joy in Jesus.
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  It's a love that genuinely cares about their eternal destiny.
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  Even if we don't see the results, even if they never
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  change, As far as we can tell, that's right.
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  The source puts it memorably. Love is the aim of our
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  sacrifice, not its success. Our job is to aim for this kind
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  of love, to offer these kinds of prayers, trusting God with the
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  outcome. It requires us to let go of
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  needing to see immediate results.
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  That really shifts the focus. And Speaking of the ultimate
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  aim, the sources point to Jesus on the cross, His prayer there.
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  Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
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  Luke 23.34. That seems like the pinnacle of
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  this kind of love. It truly is.
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  It brings together prayer, forgiveness, and mercy in the
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  face of the most extreme persecution imaginable.
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  And it models what Jesus taught his followers.
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  Remember Peter asking how often to forgive?
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  Maybe 7 times. Seems generous already.
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  And Jesus says not 7 times, but 77 times.
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  Matthew 18, He wasn't setting a new quota.
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  He's basically saying stop counting, let your forgiveness
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  be limitless, reflecting the Father's mercy.
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  Like he said in Luke, be merciful even as your father is
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  merciful. Precisely.
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  Imitate God's boundless mercy. Now let's be clear on terms
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  here. Mercy says I will treat you
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  better than you deserve, giving kindness instead of the
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  judgement that's owed. And forgiveness says I am
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  willing not to count your offense against you.
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  I want the relationship restored and these things are most
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  needed, most meaningful when there is, as the source says,
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  real guilt, real offense, which was definitely the case of the
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  cross. OK, but here's where I get a bit
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  stuck. If Jesus says they know not what
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  they do, doesn't that excuse them if they didn't know where
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  they actually get the why? Ask for forgiveness for
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  ignorance? Seems like a bloop.
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  That's a really common question, and it gets to a vital point
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  about sin and accountability. Forgiveness, by definition, is
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  only for the guilty. You can't forget an innocent
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  person. There's nothing to forgive,
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  right? So the very fact that Jesus asks
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  the Father to forgive them is his declaration that they are
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  guilty. They need forgiveness.
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  Their ignorance wasn't innocent. It wasn't like they had no clue.
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  It was what the theologians call culpable blindness, guilty
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  blindness. Guilty blindness.
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  Meaning they should have known what they were doing.
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  They had overwhelming evidence. They'd seen Jesus's miracles,
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  heard his teaching, observed his life.
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  The truth was right there. Their ignorance came from
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  hardness of heart resistance, A willful refusal to see the
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  truth, like deliberately closing your eyes.
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  OK, so they were responsible for their ignorance.
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  Yes, both the Roman soldiers and the Jewish leaders involved were
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  guilty for this willful blindness, this rejection of the
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  light. And so they needed forgiveness.
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  What's so stunning about Jesus's prayer is that it acknowledges
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  their guilt and offers forgiveness in the same breath.
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  It doesn't minimize the wrong. Not at all.
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  It shows us that recognizing that reality and the severity of
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  an enemy's sin must not stop our love, our mercy, our willingness
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  to forgive. The offense is real, the guilt
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  is real, and the offer of grace is real all at the same time.
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  So Mercy is treating them better than deserved, yes.
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  And forgiveness is choosing not to hold the dead against them,
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  desiring restoration. These are essential when real
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  wrongs have been committed. And the ultimate motivation, the
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  power source for us to do this. It comes back to our own
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  experience. We love and forgive our enemies
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  because we ourselves have been loved and forgiven when we were
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  the enemies of God, Romans 5 tells us Christ died for us
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  while we were still sinners, still his enemies.
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  Receiving that undeserved grace fuels our ability to extend it,
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  however imperfectly. We've talked a lot about
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  boundless forgiveness modeled by Jesus.
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  But the sources also bring up something else the unforgivable
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  sin, a potential point of no return.
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  How do those two things fit together?
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  Limitless forgiveness on our part, but an unforgivable sin
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  with God. Right.
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  It highlights the sheer gravity of persistent, hardened
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  rebellion against God. The sources suggest there can
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  come a point where wickedness is so stubborn, so defiant, so
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  deliberately God despising, that the window for redemption
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  closes. For that individual only
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  judgement remains. Jesus himself spoke about this,
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  the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit in Matthew 12, which he
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  said would not be forgiven. That specific sin.
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  Yes, understood generally as attributing the clear work of
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  God's Spirit, seen undeniably in Christ, to Satan.
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  It's a final, definitive rejection of God's ultimate
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  witness to himself. And think about Jesus's words
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  concerning some of the Pharisees in Matthew 15.
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  Let them alone. They are blind guides.
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  Let. Them alone?
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  That sounds ominous. It does.
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  It suggests they might have already crossed that line, that
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  God was in a sense giving them over to their chosen blindness.
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  This points to an extended, hardened, high handed
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  lovelessness toward God that ultimately leads to destruction.
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  It's not a single slip up, it's a settled state of rebellion and
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  Jesus is clear. This culminates at the end of
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  the Age, Matthew 25, the judgement scene.
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  The king says depart from me. You cursed into the eternal
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  fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.
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  This isn't arbitrary. The source calls it a prophetic
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  execution of what will happen at the last day.
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  God's just judgement on final unrepentant enmity.
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  That's incredibly sobering. Unnecessary reality, but
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  sobering. Absolutely.
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  But, and this is critical for us, well, that final judgement
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  is real and just. We are explicitly warned not to
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  make those final calls ourselves.
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  We must leave such final assessments to God.
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  Why? Because we have a corrupt
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  inability to hate as we ought. We can't judge perfectly or
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  righteously like He can. So even though that line exists.
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  Yes, even though it exists, our job doesn't change.
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  Our Calling remains exactly what Jesus commanded.
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  Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute us and
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  return good for evil. We continue to offer love,
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  prayer, and forgiveness as long as there is opportunity, leaving
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  the final state of a person's soul entirely in God's sovereign
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  hands. Our command is to love, not to
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  determine who is beyond hope. Well, this deep dive has
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  certainly given us a lot to chew on regarding loving our enemies.
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  It's clearly not just a nice sentiment, it's a demanding, God
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  focused command that involves hating the evil that hurts
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  people and dishonors God. Right and necessary aversion to
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  evil. While at the same time fueling
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  this genuine active desire for the ultimate good, the spiritual
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  restoration of those who oppose us.
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  It's complex. It is.
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  It requires God's grace working in US, definitely.
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  So here's something for you, our listener, to think about this
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  week. How might grasping this fuller
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  picture of love, one that holds together hating evil and
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  desiring the enemy's good, change how you respond when you
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  face opposition or just difficult interactions?
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  And maybe more pointedly, what would it actually look like for
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  you to start praying those specific comprehensive points
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  from the Lord's Prayer for someone who has really wronged
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  you? Not just bless them, but praying
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  for them to hallow God's name, for His Kingdom to come in their
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  life, for them to do His will, for their needs to be met, for
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  their forgiveness, and for their protection from evil.
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  How might your perspective shift if you truly began to long for
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  their eternal joy in Jesus, even amidst the difficulty?
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  Something to consider.