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Transcript

The Comparison Trap on the Ice · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:04
  Welcome back to the Nadia Chapman Show, the figure skaters edition,
• 0:08
  here to serve the people I know the most, figure skaters, parents, coaches, all of you.
• 0:15
  And today we're going to be talking about something that is so common,
• 0:19
  I'm sure you've done it, no matter who you are, what level you are,
• 0:25
  if you are a highly competitive figure skater, or maybe just a beginner,
• 0:29
  an adult, a teenager, it doesn't matter. And maybe also parents.
• 0:34
  Parents do that all the time. We're going to be talking about comparison.
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  Yes, it happens so fast that you barely notice it when it happens.
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  You know, you walk into the rink and you look around and suddenly you're thinking,
• 0:48
  who's on the ice and who's jumping really well today and who's improving faster?
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  Who's learning something that you are still working on?
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  All that fun stuff. Or maybe it's something online, something that you see online.
• 1:03
  You see someone that wins a competition, someone that posts about,
• 1:08
  you know, getting their personal best and running a clean program or landing a new jump.
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  And without even noticing it, without even meaning to, you start questioning yourself.
• 1:21
  Because comparison, guys, happens very quietly, as we know, but it affects everything
• 1:28
  pretty loudly in the way you show up and in your confidence.
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  And I want you to know this before we dive in.
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  Comparation doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't make you more motivated or
• 1:42
  more disciplined. It just makes you feel doubtful.
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  It makes you doubt yourself because the moment that you compare yourself to
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  everyone else out there,
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  you stop focusing on your own skating and you forget your own progress and you
• 1:55
  forget how far you've come and you forget that your journey is supposed to look
• 2:00
  different from everyone else's.
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  So today I'm here to remind you that every skater has their own pace.
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  Every skater has different strengths, different challenges, things happening
• 2:13
  in their personal life that you might not know, different bodies,
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  different age, different coaches, different schedules, and different seasons in their training.
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  So when you compare yourself to someone else, you're comparing two absolutely different paths.
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  That were never designed to be the same in the first place.
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  I've coached long enough and I've been in the skating world long enough to see this over and over.
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  Skaters lose confidence, not because they're not improving, but because they
• 2:43
  think that they're supposed to improve at the same pace, at the same speed as someone else.
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  And that's just not realistic or it's not fair. And here's the truth I want
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  you to remember, or if you are a parent or a coach, you can't do your best at
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  skating when your mind focuses on someone else.
• 3:02
  You can't. You're not meant to skate somebody else's program.
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  You're not meant to learn their way or grow into their own timing.
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  You're meant to skate your program, learn in your time and grow within your timeline.
• 3:19
  So when you stay focused on your lane, everything feels lighter.
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  And parents and coaches, stop comparing skaters. I've heard so many weird comments
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  in the past and I'm like, this is just so wrong.
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  When you learn to focus on yourself, you start noticing what you're actually
• 3:36
  doing well. You start seeing those small wins.
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  You start feeling proud of the progress you used to ignore because you were
• 3:43
  too busy comparing and looking at everybody else.
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  And I'm going to tell you the funny part. The funny thing is the moment that
• 3:50
  you stop comparing, your confidence comes back almost instantly because your
• 3:55
  confidence doesn't come from being better than somebody else out there.
• 3:59
  It comes from knowing that you're showing up for yourself and doing the best
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  with what you have today.
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  So if comparison has been, let's say, taking over your thought lately,
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  I want you to take a deep breath and come back to yourself.
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  I want you to look at your own skating, look at where you were,
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  I don't know, three months ago, six months ago, last season, even last year, Okay.
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  And look at the tiny improvements that you barely gave yourself credit for.
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  I bet they're out there. Look at the challenges that you've overcome that nobody
• 4:35
  else even knows about. That's the thing.
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  Your journey is yours. It's your journey. Nobody else's.
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  So you don't need to rush and you don't need to catch up to anyone or anything.
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  You don't need to compete with anybody else out there outside of yourself.
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  The skater that you are becoming is shaped by your effort, your resilience,
• 4:59
  your habits, and your courage.
• 5:02
  Yes, even your mindset, not by someone else's timeline.
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  So the next time that you walk into the rink and you feel like,
• 5:10
  oh, the comparison kind of creeping in, gently remind yourself, you know what?
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  That's their path. It's not mine. And mine is exactly where it needs to be.
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  And that's how you protect your confidence. And that's how you stay grounded.
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  And that's how you grow into that amazing skater that you're meant to be.
• 5:29
  I hope this episode brought a little bit of peace for you today,
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  and I hope it helped you breathe easy the next time that you're at the rink.
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  And I hope that it reminds you that you're allowed to grow at your own pace
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  and that your best is always enough.
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  Thanks for being here with me. I am so proud of you, and I can't wait to see
• 5:50
  how you keep growing one practice at the time.
• 5:53
  I'll see you in the next episode.