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009 The Rebellion: The Freedom of Being Alone + Misunderstood · The Good Girl Rebellion

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: There is a particular kind of freedom that becomes available when you are no longer trying to make everybody understand you, approve of you, and come with you.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: You can care so deeply about the people in your life and still stop making their understanding a requirement for living the life that you want to live.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think this is one of the hardest parts about becoming the woman we were born to be is that not everybody is going to understand the woman that you're becoming.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody's gonna be able to understand and agree with you and come with you on the journey you're gonna go on.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what this episode is all about: understanding the freedom of being alone, the freedom of being misunderstood, and why learning to tolerate those things can completely change the way you live your life.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're ready to reclaim your power, reconnect with your wilder self and rise as the woman you were never taught to be, you are in the right place.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the rebellion.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to say before we start this episode, I have got the worst throat, but today was a day that I need to record.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: So apologies, I sound a bit deeper and a bit croakier than usual.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: But today's message is seriously important and I cannot wait to share it, and I didn't want to wait another week to get this episode out.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: As women, feeling misunderstood can be so painful, it can be so triggering, and it can be so devastating for us because our good girl conditioning runs so deep that being misunderstood is something that we've been trained since we were young not to allow to happen.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: We've all been conditioned to be agreeable, likable, accommodating, easy to understand.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: We learn how to walk into a room and read the atmosphere before we decided how we wanted to show up, we decided everybody else needed us to show up.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: We learnt to anticipate people's reactions.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: We learned that being good often meant we would avoid disappointing others and then in turn disappointing ourselves.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: We learned to explain ourselves endlessly so nobody could accuse us of being selfish, difficult, dramatic, irresponsible.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: We learned to overexplain everything so that people understood our point of view.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: People understood why we behaved the way we did.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if they didn't, we didn't feel like that behavior that we wanted to carry out was allowed.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't feel like we could show up like that because we were misunderstood.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's why being misunderstood now is so triggering for you.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It can feel like rejection.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: It can really feel like you aren't allowed to do what you want.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: You haven't got the validation from the important people in your life to do what you want.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because someone being disappointed in us and our decisions can feel like we've done something wrong.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Even if you've done nothing wrong, even if they just have a different point of view, a different standpoint, a different opinion, it can still feel like rejection, it can still feel like the end of the world, and it can still stop you from making that decision that you know is the right one for you.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So when you've spent your life managing other people's perceptions of you, being misunderstood feels like danger.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Being misunderstood is not something we want to experience.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But what if being misunderstood isn't evidence that you've done something wrong?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually evidence that somebody has a different perspective.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody disagrees with your point of view, but it doesn't mean that their point of view is better or their point of view is right, or their point of view is actually the right thing for you to do because you know yourself more than anybody else.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know what you want from this life, you know your body, you know your mind, you know your soul's desires, you know what you're supposed to do.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, regardless of other people's opinions, you know the steps that you should be taking.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, what if you stopped needing to be understood?
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: What if you knew someone was disappointed in you and you didn't immediately feel the need to fix it?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: What if someone misunderstood your choices and you didn't actually rush to explain yourself?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: You just sat with your decision and you sat in your choice and you were proud of your decision?
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: What if you were alone and you didn't immediately interpret that as being wrong or being lonely or being unvalued or being uncared for or being unloved?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: What if it was just the fact that you were alone at this point in your life?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because how much of your life is shaped around avoiding those feelings?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: How much of your life is shaped around the need to be understood, the need to be validated, the need to be given permission to do what you want to do, and the need to have people along with you on this journey?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: How much of your life do you not do?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: How many of the decisions that you want to take do you not take because you don't have validation, company, or understanding from those people in your life?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: How many of your decisions do you put off?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: How much of your life do you put on hold?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: When choosing yourself, when making the decisions that you know are right for your life, makes other people uncomfortable.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are they the people you want in your life?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Are they the people who you want to be taking advice from?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you know you're doing something for you that is right for you and somebody disagrees with it to the point where they really disapprove and are really disappointed, do you even want that person's opinion?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you know you're doing the right thing, everybody else in your life who actually genuinely loves you should be happy for you, despite if it's not what they want you to do, they should be happy for your decisions.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is the hard part about choosing yourself, about moving without approval, about moving without understanding, about going it alone, is that you're gonna upset people along the way.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And when you upset people, it's gonna feel like they're disappointed in you.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna feel like you've let them down.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But how many times have you let yourself down to avoid letting other people down?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it's enough is enough.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's time to stop, it's time to put yourself first, and it's time to disappoint others in order to not disappoint yourself.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: So whether you are changing your boundaries, saying no, leaving something that just doesn't feel right anymore, moving somewhere people don't understand, changing careers, ending a friendship, choosing a different lifestyle, not doing what your friends and family expect you to do, not living out the life that everybody else in your life is living, taking longer to settle down, not wanting the conventional version of success, and saying, This just doesn't work for me anymore.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: What is it you want to change in your life?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: What is it you want to do that other people wouldn't approve of, other people wouldn't understand?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because can you take a step to do those things?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Can you understand that somebody can be genuinely disappointed in you, but you can still know that you're doing the right thing?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And can you come to peace with the fact that those two scenarios can live out at the same time?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Those two situations can be present at the same time and you can still be doing the right thing.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to mean that you're doing the wrong thing if somebody disapproves of you.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: You still can know in your heart that it's the right decision, and can you have the bravery and the grace and the courage to move anyway, despite their approval, despite their validation, despite them agreeing and despite their company.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because this can be the hard part.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: If others don't agree and when others don't agree, sometimes it means you're gonna have to go it alone.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: But going it alone doesn't mean you're lonely.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Going it alone doesn't mean you are lonely and nobody cares about you and nobody loves you.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that there's nobody there with you for that chapter or that story or that little percentage of your life.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't mean you're gonna be alone forever, and also it doesn't mean that you're gonna be lonely just because you're alone.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes doing the right thing, putting yourself in the right situations, meeting new people then in those situations can make you feel less alone than ever.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: I know this from my own personal experience.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was in Indonesia for seven months last year, and then I went home in December, and while I was at home, I was surrounded by my friends, my family, all the people in my life that I love and love me dearly, but they all had lives, they all had jobs and partners and children and careers that they were chasing, and I didn't.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't have that because that's not what I wanted, and I knew that I was there for a short period of time and I was saving for Australia, so there was no point in me building a career.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to meet anybody and get in a relationship because I knew I wanted to leave.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And even though I was surrounded by everybody who loves me and everybody I love, and I was in a place where everybody understood why I was there, everybody agreed with me being there, everybody liked the fact I was there, and I had lots of company, but I was lonely.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was so lonely because there was nobody on my wavelength because everybody else had their life, and I didn't have the life in the same concepts that everybody else had, so I was so lonely, and then I came to Australia and I had one friend in the whole of Queensland at that time where I was living, and then when I left her, I made new friends, but I was technically more alone than I have ever been, but I felt so less lonely because I was surrounded by people who had similar visions, had similar desires, had similar plans, are doing similar things to what I was doing, are living a similar life to the life that I was living.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And despite being on the other side of the world, slightly misunderstood, slightly unvalidated, slightly alone.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Very much alone, I was not lonely and I didn't feel alone.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel that it was the wrong decision in any way, shape, or form.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because I have built the freedom of being alone and being misunderstood in my body.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I have built up the courage and the confidence to know that I can be misunderstood and I can be alone, and that's so fucking freeing because it means that no one is telling me what to do, no one is telling me how to behave, and I get to do exactly what I fucking want when I want.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So what a liberating and beautiful and powerful thing to experience.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because there is a big difference between choosing to be alone and feeling abandoned.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it that for so many of us we cannot sit with ourselves?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we reach for people?
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Why do we reach for distraction instead of being able to sit with ourselves?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: We have constant distraction in today's society.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Messaging, dating apps, social plans, scrolling.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: There is constant noise from every aspect.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Music, Netflix, just every single thing, every tiny pocket of space in your day can be filled with something in today's society.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And how many times have you just decided not to have any noise and just sit with yourself?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because being able to sit with yourself gives you the freedom of being alone.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: It gives you the freedom to know that you can go anywhere in the world.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can move like I did to the other side of the world, to Australia, completely alone, and know one person in the whole state and know that you're okay because you have yourself, because you can sit with yourself in the silence, in the discomfort, and you know that you can handle whatever comes up, whatever comes your way.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because who are you when there's no one else in the room telling you who to be?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you when you stop performing for the people in your life?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And how does solitude create space for your intuition?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: How does being in that silence allow your intuition to speak to you, allow it to guide you, allow it to tell you where to go next?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: How do you actually know what you want if everybody else is always talking, everybody else is always giving you opinions, everybody else is always telling you what to do?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you know what you want?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do you find the space in the silence to understand what you truly want and what it is you desire from this life?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you have so much noise that you don't even have a minute of peace to be able to go inwards, to be able to connect your intuition, to be able to understand what it is you actually want and know how it is you actually want to move forward.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because being alone forces you to meet yourself without the noise of everybody else's expectations.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Being alone isn't necessarily the goal.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to be alone is the goal.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to be alone is the freedom.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can love people, you can want partnership, you can want community, you can want friendship, you can want to be with people, but you need to understand that you are whole when nobody is choosing you.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: You are whole when there is no one else in the room.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: You are whole when you don't have a partner, when you aren't surrounded by your friends, when you aren't close to your family.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: You are whole without all of that.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can understand that, you get the freedom of being alone.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: You get the freedom to go anywhere and know that you are whole and you have yourself and you can handle whatever comes your way.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like I just said, the goal isn't to be alone.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: The goal isn't to be misunderstood, the goal isn't to spend your life surrounded by people who don't approve of you and who don't validate you.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: The goal is self-trust, the goal is understanding that you know you can make those moves regardless of people's approval, regardless of people's understanding, regardless of people's company.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know you can do those things and you can have yourself and you can hold yourself.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you have the power and the knowledge and the trust within yourself to know that you're a whole and know that you'll figure it out and know that whatever happens, happens and it's gonna be okay.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because the goal is to have such a deep level of self-trust, to know that it isn't about not caring what other people think.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't about purposely going out to be misunderstood, to be unvalidated, to be alone.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's about hearing what people are saying, it's about understanding their point of view, but knowing that you have the self-trust within yourself that you aren't gonna abandon your decisions, you aren't gonna abandon the woman you know you want to be, and you aren't gonna abandon the moves you want to make, the dreams you have, the desires you have to please other people in your life just because of their disapproval, just because they're not validating your decisions, just because they don't understand, and just because they're not coming along for the ride.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And as women, this is what we all do.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: We all do it every single day in every aspect of our life.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: We like to explain ourselves, we like to over-explain everything.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And this is the trap when it comes to being misunderstood.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to having decisions that you want to make in your life that people don't approve of or people don't understand, you want to get them to understand.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: You desperately want their approval.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: That child, that inner girl in you wants to be understood, she wants to be held, she wants to be secure, and you just have to tell her that it's okay.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: You have got you, you understand you, you are gonna protect you, and you know that you can handle whatever comes your way.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't need to over-explain yourself.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to make sure that everybody in your life understands why you're doing what you're doing and how you're doing it, and why you're doing it, and all the things you're gonna do along the way, and how it's gonna benefit you, and where it's gonna get you in the future.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody needs to know that because if they don't approve of your decision, you over-explaining it, it's not gonna change their decision.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's just going to let you leak your energy out of this situation, out of this scenario.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna give them more opportunity to fill your mind with doubt.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna give them more opportunity to feed you their disapproval, their misunderstanding.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want that.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to sit firm in your decision and understand that yes, they might not approve, yes, they might not agree with what you're gonna do, but you know that it's the right decision for you.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because there's a big difference between communicating what you're doing and trying to convince people why you're doing it.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So do not overexplain it.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do not rewrite the message so that you can make sure that somebody understands that you're not coming across a certain type of way, or you're not being rude, or you're not dismissing their disapproval.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Do not give more context.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: Do not list all of your reasons why.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Stop trying to prove that your decision is logical, hoping that they'll understand and they'll approve.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes you just have to acknowledge that understanding is not the thing you're seeking, it's their approval.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: You want their approval because the good girl in you needs the approval to know that what she is doing is the right thing, and you just have to seek that approval within yourself.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to know within your heart that you are making the right decision and you are following your intuition and you're doing what is right for you, mind, body, and soul.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because as I said, most of the time we're not over-explaining ourselves because someone needs more information.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: We are explaining ourselves because we need their permission, we need their approval.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that right there is a point where explaining becomes self-abandonment.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: That right there is the moment that you put their approval above your own decision.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: That moment right there is where you put their misunderstanding above your dreams, your desires, your hopes, your wishes.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: What you know in your heart is right for you.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because you are allowed to be misunderstood.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Think this is the thing with our good girl conditioning, with the world we live in.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: We want people to understand, but you are allowed to be misunderstood.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: You could be, as I said in one of the previous episodes, the juiciest fucking peach in the world, and there will still be people that don't like peaches.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Every single person you come across has had a different background, they've had a different upbringing, they have a different cultural point of view, they have different life.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: Every single person you come across has a completely different perspective of life than you do.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: So no one is gonna understand you.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: No one is gonna understand every single decision you make, no one is gonna agree with every single decision you make, and no one is gonna want to come along on the journey with every single decision you make.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: I moved to the other side of the world, here to Australia, with very minimal savings, and I'd say 90% of the people in my life thought I was fucking mad because they didn't think I was gonna make it work, and they didn't think that it was gonna be possible.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: And my idea of fun doing that, a little bit exciting, little bit of a risk, makes every single one of them feel absolutely violently sick because they would never do that themselves because they would want to have more savings or more plans or everything figured out, whereas I just like to come along for the ride and see what I'm capable of in the moment.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I figured it out and it was all fine, but I was very misunderstood, so misunderstood.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Very few people in my life agreed with what I was doing and thought it was the right decision in the context that I did it.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Coming to Australia was always the right decision, but the way I did it potentially was very misunderstood within my circle.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where I don't want you to get confused because yes, all those people misunderstood me.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, all those people potentially didn't validate and agree with what I was doing, but they all loved me because there is a big difference between being misunderstood and being unknown.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: They all knew me.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: They knew that it was the right decision for me, but they didn't understand why I was doing it.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: They knew it was the right decision for me, but they maybe didn't validate or agree with what I was doing.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: They knew it was the right decision for me, but they couldn't think of anything worse than coming along on the journey.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: But this is the thing.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Being misunderstood isn't the same as being unknown.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: People can still love you, you can still love them, people can still hold you and want to be a part of your life and misunderstand you.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you need to ask yourself, do I trust myself enough to let someone else have the wrong opinion of me?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do you hold yourself enough?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have yourself?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because that right there is the rebellion.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can make the move.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know that the people who love you and know you and hold you close to their heart can still misunderstand you and think you're making the wrong decision, and you still know that you have yourself and you can handle whatever comes your way, and you move fearlessly, boldly, bravely, courageously, that right there is the rebellion.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: That right there is when you take your life back into your own hands and you know that you are unstoppable and you can do anything you set your mind to because you have yourself, you have that self-trust.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: You have the freedom of being misunderstood and being alone and doing it anyway.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because the freedom that comes when you stop needing permission, the freedom that comes when you are no longer organizing your life around avoiding misunderstanding, you can move somewhere that actually calls to your heart and soul.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can wear whatever the fuck you like, you can start the business, you can leave the relationship, you can stay single, fall in love, change your mind, disappoint someone, say yes, say no, travel alone, pursue something unconventional and stop explaining yourself.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: You can have absolute freedom because you don't care if people misunderstand you because you know that you understand you and you know what you're doing.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you can make all of those decisions and bold moves to become the woman you want to be.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can use being misunderstood and being alone as fire to your rebellion to become that woman that you know you're put on this earth to be.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because who is she?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Who would you become?
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Who are you allowing yourself to become through this rebellion?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Who would you be if you stopped constantly checking whether everyone else approved of the woman you want to be?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Who is it?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: What does she look like?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: What does she do?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: How does she dress?
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: How does she behave?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: What is it she does for a living?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Where does she live in the world?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: How does she spend her days?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Who is it you would be if you weren't so wrapped up in having approval and understanding from everybody else in your life?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: So your rebellious act for this episode is do the thing you've been too afraid to do alone.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Just go and do the thing that you are so afraid to do alone because being alone and being able to hold yourself in that discomfort is one of the most powerful things you can do.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: It is one of the most liberating things you can do in your life, knowing that you can sit with yourself.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can well and truly sit with yourself and you can see the light, the shadow, everything within you, and you know that you can either alchemize it into power or you can allow the pain to teach you what it needs to teach you?
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Is it you don't feel like you could even go like a full day without your phone, without the distraction of social media and music and messages and other people?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: Is it you want to take yourself on a solo holiday?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: You want to go on a solo trip?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's just a long weekend somewhere, or maybe it's a week, or maybe it's a three-month backpacking trip.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: What is the thing you want to do alone?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to go and eat dinner at a restaurant that you really want to try but you have no one to go with?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Go alone.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to go take yourself out on a cute date?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to go to the beach?
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is it you want to do, but you're too afraid to do it because you're gonna be alone?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Do the thing, put your phone on do not disturb, turn off your notifications, do the thing alone, and know that you have yourself.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: You could hold yourself and you can sit with yourself in the discomfort.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because being able to sit with yourself in the discomfort with no noise, no distraction, no disturbance, no one else will give you the ultimate level of freedom to being alone and being misunderstood.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote this closing paragraph just to kind of put it all into perspective.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because maybe the greatest freedom isn't having everyone understand you.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's knowing that they don't have to.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's being able to sit alone in a room and still feel completely at home with yourself.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's hearing someone's disappointment and not immediately taking responsibility for their feelings.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's letting somebody have their opinion of you without desperately trying to change it.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's choosing the life that feels true to you, even when it doesn't make sense to somebody else.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because you are never going to be understood by everyone.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: And you're never going to make everyone happy.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And if you make that a condition for living your life, you're going to spend your entire life negotiating with other people's expectations.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: So perhaps the rebellion isn't becoming someone who doesn't care.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps the rebellion is caring deeply about yourself, about other people, about your relationships, and still refusing to abandon yourself just to be understood.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: You're allowed to walk alone, you're allowed to change, you're allowed to disappoint other people, you're allowed to be misunderstood, and you're allowed to choose yourself anyway.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because on the other side of that discomfort is a kind of freedom that you can't experience while you're constantly asking for permission to be who you truly are, to be who you know you are put on this earth to be.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let them misunderstand you, let them be disappointed, let yourself be alone, and then watch how much of your life becomes available to you.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you enjoyed it, make sure to follow or subscribe wherever you're listening or watching to the episode.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you haven't already, make sure to come find me on Instagram at Iam Isabel Martucci.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: For all things, breaking your good girl conditioning and witch tips.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you again so much for listening, and I will see you again on the podcast next week.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: All my love, as always.