Latest / Harder Than Life / 52: F.E.A.R. - Face Everything and Rise w/ Rob Mallan

Transcript

52: F.E.A.R. - Face Everything and Rise w/ Rob Mallan · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living I
• 0:15
  As most of you know, I'm alert at all. And many masterminds, I take in many masterminds of content. Well, I went to an event in Miami and met Rob Mallon. And upon hearing his story, realized we had a lot in common. Rob Mallon is a speaker, author, coach, and the host of the Talk That Transforms podcast. And like me, did a little time in the slammer. Welcome to the Heart of the Life show, my man. I'm looking forward to sharing your mistakes.
• 0:45
  Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thanks. Thanks. Thank you so much for having me. What a pleasure. Now we got nowhere to go, but I'm sorry. I just, Rob, I don't want to take away from the story of redemption, redemption, transformation, and hope. What is your story and why does your story matter?
• 1:01
  Well, you know, I had a real God encounter at the age of 19. Like you, I had a very difficult upbringing background, humble, very humble beginnings, and just found myself without a father figure and then looked for affirmation and confirmation in all the wrong places, which eventually led me into a very tragic situation facing 17 years in prison as a 19-year-old and never had any kind of record whatsoever. And now here I am,
• 1:31
  No jail time ever to now I'm facing potentially 17 years and my life was just falling apart rapidly before me. And then God steps in and all of a sudden I start reading different books, faith books. I start reading the Bible and I don't see the Bible as a bunch of rules and regulations, but I see this Bible as a book of principles and promises and.
• 1:54
  And I started doing what this book says, Romans 12, 2, do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed. Be transformed how? By the renewing of your mind. And I did not realize there was a huge connection between the way I think.
• 2:11
  And what I say and what actually shows up in my life. And I mean, I was like many people and I'm sure you can relate to this. You know, I've heard your testimony. I've heard how you've walked in sobriety. A lot had to change, not just with your association, but with the information, the revelation, the self-talk, the dialogue.
• 2:31
  that was going on in your head. And, you know, uh, in my head, the dialogue that was going on was dead. You know, it was keeping me limited. It was keeping me in a place of paralysis. Obviously now, now, not only am I in a physical jail, uh, but I'm in a mental jail to boot. So I've got a physical and mental situation going on. And the thing that broke, broke the chain for me really sincerely was again, my encounter with God, but then also my encounter with the word, you know, cause words, um,
• 3:00
  So often people think of words as communication, but words are also for creation. Words not only communicate, but words create. And so, you know, on my journey as a believer, on my journey as a personal growth student, I'll be a student for personal growth for the rest of my life.
• 3:18
  I've learned that there is a huge, I am the sum total of my thoughts. I'm the sum total of what I think about on a regular basis. And what I think about the longest becomes the strongest. So if I focus on abundance, prosperity, if I focus on health, wealth, I focus on good relationships, you know, and it's more than just saying affirmations, of course, but I start to draw these things to myself. I begin to align myself with these things. And so there's a huge connection there.
• 3:48
  And growing forward and going forward with the way you start with your thoughts. You cannot move beyond the level of your thinking and you cannot move beyond the level of your speaking. You know, we talk about people communicating to, you know, we want to communicate to others. But, you know, how do you communicate to yourself? You know, what do you say to yourself? What do you say to yourself before you came on the show today? I know for me.
• 4:09
  You know, every time I get in the show, I get a little bit nervous, you know, but then I tell myself, I'm going to get on the show and help as many people as I can today. I'm going to get on this show today and I'm going to let God use me to the best of his ability today. And all of a sudden something begins to shift. You know, the way I communicate to me brings a shift. So, you know.
• 4:26
  There's been an altar. I've not manifested completely. I'm not perfect. I've not arrived by any means. I don't want to mislead people. I do still have negative thoughts. I still do have negative things that come out of my mind. But my turning point was not when just God got a hold of my heart, but he got a hold of my mouth and got a hold of my mind.
• 4:45
  Wow, that was a lot, and that was awesome. Thank you. Thank you for starting. So I'm going to go, and you have a book coming out titled Speak Your Way Into Greatness, The Life-Changing Power of Positive Self-Talk. That's right. Was that, I was going to say, give the Harder Than Life listener a little preview on how, where can they order it, and was that the preview, or is there more to it? Give us a sneak peek. I'll give you a sneak peek. You know, there's a connection between the way you think.
• 5:12
  and what you say and what you manifest in this book. I really start to help people tackle, not just what they say, but identifying how they think, identifying how they think on a regular basis. Because again, like I said, what you meditate on the longest actually becomes the strongest. So if I'm focused in on, and I'm zoned in on abundance, I'm not focused on scarcity. I'm not focused on insecurity. You know, uh,
• 5:42
  The Bible says faith comes by hearing, hearing by the word. So if you want to put it in practical terms for that, anyone can understand. Faith comes by communication through words. Watch this. Doubt, unbelief, fear, anxiety, insecurity also come through words. So.
• 6:01
  The more I expose myself to faith opportunities, the more I expose myself to growth opportunities, the more I allow my subconscious mind to be trained, not just saying words of affirmation. I'm good. I'm good. I'm blessed. I'm blessed. We can all say that, but actually getting it down deep on the inside of me because the word actually says it's out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So in other words, the storehouse of my words are in my mind.
• 6:30
  And my words can either get me ahead or my words can leave me behind. Right. My words can put me in a bind or my words can unwind, you know, but I've got to choose the type of words that are coming out of my mouth. Right. So hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. I got it. That was so I got to steal that. My words can bind or they can unwind. What was that? Oh, we got to write this down. They can bind. They can unwind.
• 6:55
  They can also rewind. Think about it. Think about the times you, what you focus on the longest becomes the strongest. This is why it's so important for people to get a vision for the future, get a vision for their life. You know, Habakkuk says, the write the vision down, make it plain. I've got to put new words in front of me to be me, right? I've got to tell myself who I am. I've got to remind myself who I am. Every single day, there are opportunities coming my way to get me to think less of myself. You know, Beyond Sanders, who's also a friend,
• 7:23
  And we've done some work together is blowing up right now on the Internet. And it's amazing how much he attributes his success to the way he thinks and what he says, not just to himself, but also to his athletes, also the folks that are on his coaching staff.
• 7:41
  You know, he's speaking words of encouragement. He's speaking words of life. He's telling them where they're going to go before they get there. And see, we've got to tell ourselves where Rob Mallon, where Kelly Siegel, where are you going before I get there? You didn't just wake up one day and have a successful IT company. You, I guarantee you, you wrote the vision down. You had a plan. You started talking about this thing. You started talking.
• 8:02
  framing this thing and the original idea, the words that came out of your mouth, the words that came out of your mind began to manifest and look like what you said about your business, said about your brand, said about your book, said about your body. And I've listened to you talk about reshaping your body, becoming sober. You didn't just get sober. You started thinking sobriety thoughts. You started speaking sobriety language, right? Which created momentum and manifestation. Right?
• 8:33
  Wow. That was so good. My producer yelled in the other room to ask you what that... Wow. Be certain to look at the show notes and follow Rob on all platforms, especially his YouTube channel where there's lots and lots of content. This is fire, and I love it. One of the...
• 8:52
  Things you said, and I forgot to unpack at the very beginning. You said you found yourself in physical and mental jail. I find that many people that are not doing the work are in mental jail, and they don't even know it. So can you unpack that? Do you talk about it in the book? And I'm sorry, I'll have you back on.
• 9:09
  Usually I get an advanced copy of the book and I can read it and I ask all kinds of questions. So I'll get one. We'll have you back on and we'll do one in live. We'll do a live one in person. I'd love to. Yeah. And this is something that this has been a hot topic for me. This book, it's not just a book of information. This is actually revelation from my own life. And, you know, one of the things I did not realize, and it's unfortunate that I had to go to prison to find this out. I did not realize that.
• 9:35
  Once the light bulb came on, once freedom started coming to my mind, I found...
• 9:41
  this tragic revelation that I was more free behind bars mentally after going through this transition, after going through this shift, after coming over from the dark side, I guess you could say, if you want to put it in just practical terms over into the, to the right side and getting my thought process aligned, you know, with, with God's thought process. I didn't realize I was walking, um,
• 10:07
  through life in a physical and mental prison. I mean, I was free physically, but mentally I was addicted. Mentally, you know, I was insecure. Mentally, you know, I had health issues. There was so much going on in my mind and I did not realize my life outcomes, the things that were happening to me on a daily basis
• 10:26
  It wasn't just life happening to me. It's, it's, I was happening to life. You know, I was setting the tone and, you know, it goes back to, you know, one seed as to another seed, you know, there's a great scripture in the Bible. It talks about seed time and harvest versus first you sow a seed. Then there's, then there's the blade.
• 10:43
  Then there's a harvest. You know, the enemy of our soul knows that all he's got to do is plant negative seeds because those negative seeds will grow into a harvest. Likewise, God knows if I can get the good seeds into my spirit, right? Good word seeds into my mind, what's going to happen? There's also a positive harvest.
• 11:02
  And the thing that sucks really for most of us, especially when you're on a personal growth track or you have a growth mindset, is that you've got both working together. You've got some great stuff going on over here. You know, there's health, wealth, abundance. And then you've got some insecurity, some envy, some jealousy, whatever it is that you're dealing with, some addictions maybe behind the scenes. And it's growing together. But the way we outwork.
• 11:26
  A negative mindset is the same way we outwork a bad body. You know, the same way we can't outwork a bad diet, right? We all know this. 90% of fitness is going to come through what we put in our mouth. You cannot outrun, watch this, an unrenewed mind.
• 11:45
  It doesn't matter what you try to do, what you're trying to accomplish until your mind has been transformed, until some new thoughts have come in there, man, you're going to stay stuck like Chuck or worse, you know, and I, listen, I'm living proof of that. I'm not proud to say that, but I'm living proof that you are a byproduct of the thoughts that you think about the longest because they become the strongest and you get stuck like Chuck or you get free to be exactly who God has called you to be. You know, just simply through your thought life and through your speaking life and then
• 12:14
  What you say shows up, man. It shows up. Don't be surprised. If you talk about money, it starts showing up in your life. Don't be surprised if you start talking about, you know, great clients and all of a sudden great clients start showing up. Don't be surprised if you start talking crap about somebody. Come on.
• 12:30
  If crap starts showing up in your life, you start talking crap about somebody else. All of a sudden, crap starts crapping on you. It's interesting how words manifest. They have energy. They have power. They have a magnetism. And what we say really does play a huge role in what we manifest. I believe it 100%. Did you have any coffee this morning? I love it. Early, early, yeah. How much time did you do in jail? I did 18 months.
• 13:00
  And really looking back, I mean, I would not want to do it again. I wouldn't recommend that path of growth for anybody. But I tell you, it was really God rescuing me for myself. It really was. I concur, and I can tell you there's nothing more humbling until you lose your freedom. I remember walking into my cell going,
• 13:21
  What in the hell did I do to get here? What was I thinking? Things have got to change, and they got to change now. And this is stupid. I should not be here. But, you know, I...
• 13:34
  Everybody's innocent in jail, but as soon as you start realizing you did this and the contrast is something else. You know, it's funny, Kelly. It's interesting. And, you know, I hear you talk quite a bit, you know, on your reels, you know, on your social media platforms. You know, one of the things that you talk about a lot, and I'm not sure if you use this word directly, but it's really around a lot of what you do on a regular basis is you've created value.
• 14:01
  You've created worth. And there's a great scripture that says, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. And the word think there actually means to estimate. As a man estimates himself. As a man measures himself. Do you measure yourself with a yardstick? Or are you like one of those guys that you see out working on the road? And they've got one of those measuring rollers that just seem like they'll just roll forever. Some folks say, I'm about 12 inches.
• 14:31
  you know, deep in money, wealth, health, relationships. There's other folks that say, listen, I'm not going to limit myself to a 12-inch ruler. I'm going to get myself one of those wheels. I'm going to get one of those things that where I can have endless amounts of opportunity, endless amounts of wealth, endless amounts of health, endless amounts of growth. But it's a mentality. If I can't see it, I can't be it, right? Right.
• 14:55
  I've got to believe it. We've all heard this before to achieve it. But to achieve it, I've got to receive it. I've got to believe that, hey, my life is worth more than sitting here in hell in jail. Right. I mean, that's something that happened to me in jail. I said, my life is a little more. I wasn't really valuing my life that much before. But man, I'll tell you what.
• 15:16
  Like you said, when that freedom is taken away from you, all of a sudden you realize, man, I've got breath in my body. Wow, there's still life in me. Wow, there's still something. Even though my life sucks at this moment, there's still something on the inside of me that still says I can do more. I can achieve even at this rock bottom space and place. And I think that's what's really cool. I mean it's obvious with the excellence of your show. It's obvious with the way you take care of yourself that you have shifted from devaluing yourself –
• 15:44
  depreciating yourself to now I'm going to, I'm going to add value to me. Not only am I going to add value to me, but I'm going to add value to others, you know? And, and that's, that's, that's, that's, I think that's where both of us are very much in sync is that, you know, you're not doing this podcast because you're trying to build a name. You're building this podcast because you're trying to help people, you know?
• 16:02
  You know, someone else just pointed that out. They're like, I really like the fact that you're not doing this for fame and fortune. And I'm like, holy smokes. I didn't even realize I'm not. But I will tell you, you'll appreciate what I'm about to say. I was making coffee this morning and I just feeling some kind of something this morning. I don't know why. I didn't sleep well last night. I'm not sure why. But...
• 16:21
  The moment that I surrendered and allowed the higher power into my life and realized I'm not in control of this thing, I feel like something has exhumed my body and taken it over and said, hey, all these gifts that you have, the gifts of being intelligent and breathing and alive and a bigger guy, I've given you them for a reason and you have to do something with it.
• 16:43
  And so I feel called to do what I'm doing. And I feel grateful that I get to have this platform because I was on the podcast before you, we talked about some real deep trauma and I was triggered and I like that. Feeling is healing. But there was something that you said, and I want to come back to you said there's a seed, there's a leaf and there's a harvest. Right. I skipped a big step in there.
• 17:05
  And it's the care and the feeding of that leaf because that's where the big part is. Now, I knew the analogy because that's where I live all the time. I am caring and feeding. That's why I work out every day. That's why we shower every day. That's why I read every day because I want to reap a bountiful harvest. And the bountiful harvest is going to come from all that care and feeding over a long period of time. And here's the thing that I prescribe to you and I think that it resonates with you.
• 17:35
  is I don't care that that leaf, that I can't notice that leaf getting any bigger. I know it's getting bigger. I have faith it's getting bigger because I know every single day I'm watering that thing and I'm putting soil down that's fruitful and I'm saying no and not allowing bad things to pollute it. So when you do those things for a long period of time, success, inner peace, love, happiness,
• 18:01
  and happiness. It's, it's, it's also to what you don't do. I'm not, you know, Oh, it's not where it's not working. So I stopped. You know, you're saying something really good right here. Cause you know, and I, I am a faith person and I never use scripture to throw on people's face, but I, I like to use scripture to frame it because if you think of scripture as a quote, as motivation for folks that aren't a believer like myself, you know, you can still use this. And there's a great scripture in the Bible that talks about the very thing that we're talking about right here. And, you know,
• 18:30
  As long as the earth remains, it says in Genesis, there's something called seed time and harvest. And I think where people get upset is they don't realize once a seed goes on a ground, there's time that's got to take place. And then the harvest comes. And I think people get upset sometimes with the small steps. It's like, you know, first the blade, you know, when the blade first comes up, they go, well, that's not my harvest. That's not my car. That's not the good body. That's not the beautiful wife. You know, that's not all my goals met. They're just seeing that the very small, you know.
• 18:57
  When it first comes up out of the ground, they're not realizing, hey, there's development that sometimes takes days. Sometimes it takes weeks. Sometimes it takes months. And guess what? For some of us, it takes years for certain things to transition, transform, and for us to realize. But I think that where people – we're in such a microwave society. I work out one day, and then next week I've got abs in my body. No, man. Your abs come as a result of a long-term recovery.
• 19:25
  plan and a lifestyle shift, not, not doing a diet. You know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a lifestyle. And I think, you know, what we're talking about is really, really helpful to people because, you know, they don't realize, look, it's those small steps every day that lead to these, it's small hinges that swing big doors. Right. And knowing that it's these small steps I'm taking every day that are going to continue to open these big doors in my life. And so I love this topic of what we're talking about here right now.
• 19:53
  I just thought of this analogy. It's to flip that whole seed to harvest on its head. We all know that if you take and you plant a seed, you can plant a negative seed and put manure, which is shit, all around it, and it'll initially grow fast, quickly.
• 20:13
  So that's a metaphor. Like if you start a negative habit, you'll feel that quickly. Within 90 days, you'll start feeling it. If you put a positive habit, it takes like six months to 180 days. The same thing, 180 days. So people, they give up. Well, I saw a little bit of growth. And what happens? You get that growth at the beginning. And you're like, oh, this is the life I like. But what you're not realizing is you're not watering beneath the surface and the roots are dying. And that your harvest is going to die.
• 20:41
  Feel free to copyright that. I just made it up today on the Harder Life podcast. I love it. It's true. It's 100% true. This is the type of activity that people don't realize. You don't just wake up with abs. You don't just wake up.
• 20:57
  With mental health, you don't just wake up with vibrant relationships. It takes time. No, Rob. It actually takes effort. I started the IT company by winning a quiz show, and my abs came in from just – I just injected with steroids. It's easy. Just look at all my people on Instagram. They'll tell you. Oh. That's right.
• 21:16
  forget all the crunches that I do and all the fricking look at it. I got protein bar here, protein drink here. I got water. I got coffee. It's like, it's a, I'm a machine over here. So you have this in-depth 90 day transfer transformation offering on your website. Go to Rob Malin. It's spelled M a L L a N.com. Right. So Rob Malin.com and see the details, but tell us about it. And you have these customized nutrition and workout plans. Um,
• 21:46
  Can you make the people look like me? And, you know, again, that's what everybody wants. And when they're tearing me down. So tell us about that, about that. Well, for us in particular, I mean, we do have folks that can help build muscle and can help get you shredded and get you contests ready. If that's something that people are looking for.
• 22:03
  And that is a very strong possibility and option if people actually do what the trainer and nutritionist says. As you know, you don't just get abs because you go to the gym or because you have a trainer or because you know about dieting. You've got to implement these things. And so what we do is we actually look for people that want to lose weight quickly in a 90-day period in a healthy diet.
• 22:29
  sustainable way. And so what we do is we take people through a process to help them reframe eating psychologically, because so many folks are into psychological, emotional eating. And really, honestly, man, I mean, this is a whole other show.
• 22:48
  But I believe that majority of Americans are addicted to food. And the reason we're addicted to food is because there's so many chemicals. You know, there are so many additives. There are so many, you know, things that are not natural that are causing people to want food. So we help people identify healthy whole foods and help them lose quick weight for long periods of time. So, for example, let me just kind of give you an idea. For me, I'm coming out with a book in the near future. It's called Walk.
• 23:18
  Pray, eat, rest. And these are the four principles of what we teach. And one of my coaches teach is that we teach people that you can walk. You don't even need a gym membership initially. Okay. We do get people into the gym. We do get people on weights, but initially in this 90 day program, you're not touching weights. What you're doing is you're walking.
• 23:39
  You're stretching, you're eating, you're detoxing, you're learning how to eat properly, where you're getting weekly check-ins. You're measuring your waist. You're looking at, you know, the pounds on the scale. We don't count calories, even though calories count. We teach people how to eat, you know, proportionately. We help people get the sugar out of their diet. Just for example, I'm probably my own best business card. There are pictures of me on my website.
• 24:04
  I was at 255 pounds, man. I was having issues with my blood pressure. I was having issues with my ankle because, you know, there was swelling going on. I had swelling in my fingers. I mean, you name it. There was all kinds of stuff happening. You know, I'll tell you what's really one of the things that broke me. I was at the movie theater one night, and I bent over to tie my shoe, and I was out of breath. And I said, you know what, Rob? This is some straight-up BS right here. How do you bend over to tie your shoe?
• 24:28
  and you're out of breath. How does that even happen? Hey, that happens to me now, man. I'm 90% up. You saw me, I'm so massive up here. I gotta breathe in and suck it. You get this body moving in one direction, it's not easy.
• 24:45
  But at least you're looking good then. You know what I'm saying? I was looking bad and not breathing well. I got to tell you, not to interrupt, I can see that you've slimmed up since the last time I saw you. I saw you in May and you look beautiful. You look great.
• 24:59
  Thank you, man. I have slimmed down and I continue because I can, you know, it's like you, man, we can't preach this, talk this, teach this unless we're living this. Right. And so, you know, as I'm teaching others, man, I'm actually, you know, I looked at myself and I kind of looked at the scale and I said, you know, brother, you gave yourself a little time here to recover after your hand surgery and you put a little size on, but you got to get this weight back off. So that's, that's what we did, you know, and I can't preach health, man, if I'm not living health. Right. That's called integrity, bro. Integrity. Yeah. Proud of you. Thank you for sharing. So wait, you just said that you.
• 25:29
  You have one book coming out that we talked about, which was the life changing power of positive talk, self-talk. And then you have this other one. When is the first book coming out? This one. This is a really crazy time for me in a good way. I have actually three books that are actually. I'm giving birth to triplets as we speak.
• 25:48
  My book, which is fantastic. This is a dream come true. It actually is very overwhelming and humbling. My first book right now is in front of 21 publishers and producers. It's called The Long March Home. This movie is about my grandfather who escaped four prison camps during World War II, was shot by a Nazi officer, then sewed back up. He escaped four prison camps and lived to tell the story, reunited with my grandmother. And if they had not, I wouldn't be here to tell the story right now, but an amazing story.
• 26:17
  process is taking place right now as far as a movie and a book. And then my personal coaching book right now that I'm releasing will be ready in November, which is, you know, the speaker way to greatness. And then January we have the walk, the,
• 26:33
  pray eat rest book coming out so wow within the next 90 days man there's a lot a lot of activity and a lot of different things popping off for me so it's pretty exciting time man it's like i can't even sleep at night so i live when i'm in the winter i live two miles or two hours south of you i'll come up and i'll read all the books and we'll do a quick deep dive on your on your show um i'd love to and go through that because i love reading and they sound fabulous um thank you
• 26:59
  I got a question for you. So your grandfather was in, you said concentration camp. Are you Polish or Jewish? Where are you? Jewish. I'm Jewish. And I was going to ask you, I thought you're Jewish as well, aren't you? Happy New Year. Happy New Year, man. Definitely. I didn't know. Yeah. Good stuff. And to those of the people that don't know, this is, it's so fortuitous that you're on because this is the holiest time because this is the week of, it's New Year's and then you have...
• 27:23
  days to atone and then there's the day of atonement which is the most holiest day of the year but by the time this airs it'll be way past that but still uh happy new year uh healthy happy and and it sounds like you're gonna have an amazing year so i'm i'm real happy for you thank you so much i appreciate that we're gonna switch this up a little bit and talk about you personal stuff because i i find you fascinating is how you got on the show because you're just remarkable what's your biggest fear
• 27:54
  You know, it's interesting. You know, I am a person, I try not to focus on my fears, but it would be,
• 28:02
  Wrong of me to say that that doesn't cross my heart, enter my mind. You know, there's there's I always try to take thoughts captive, you know, and so with fear, when fear enters my heart, I try to take that thought captive and bring it into obedience. Having said that, there are certain thoughts at certain times and certain spaces and places where you have to wrestle certain thoughts. You have to wrestle certain mindsets, because like you said, right.
• 28:25
  Some things, smells can trigger you. You can smell, like, for example, grass. When I smell Bahia grass being cut, it reminds me of my grandfather immediately. And this is, he's been passed away for years. You know, when I drive past certain bars, you know, in certain neighborhoods and I smell that smell, it makes my stomach upset, reminds me, you know, and takes me to certain places. And so,
• 28:48
  When it comes to the thought life and when it comes to people, when it comes to interaction, I've had to really move into whatever I'm doing, knowing that God's on my side, that I walk in faith no matter what situation I'm in. Because fear always has the opportunity to creep in. It always has the opportunity. Like getting on a call like this. I've done calls like this a million times. I've spoken in crowds of people.
• 29:15
  10,000, I've spoken to people in a prison cell of one. And then I'm thinking, why am I getting nervous about this podcast? I've done this so many times before. What am I nervous about? When it comes to dealing with a business dealing, insecurity or fear or anxiety can creep in. It's amazing how fear, which is false evidence appearing real, can creep in.
• 29:39
  And shift us out of a place of belief. You know, there's another acronym for fear is face everything and rise. So I can be fearful or I can face everything and rise. And really one of the ways that I attack fear is through action.
• 30:01
  That's one of my main ways of attacking fear is through action. Fear, silence is the sound of defeat. You never hear someone who gets knocked out in the ring saying, oh, yeah, I got knocked out. It's always the victor. It's always the guy that won the battle.
• 30:20
  That shouts victory. Something I've found that really helps me is that I get emotional when I get fearful. I get passionate when I get fearful. And what I do is I try to muster up faith. Come on now, think about this, to overcome that fear. And so fear is going to come. Fear is...
• 30:39
  inundated in our community. Every time you turn on television, what do you see? Fear. Most of what people use to sell insurance, car insurance, health insurance, whatever it might be, it's all fear tactics. And so we don't even realize that there's a spirit of fear, a culture of fear that is antagonizing us and wrestling with us on a regular basis. And so for me,
• 31:04
  This is why, like you, daily, I'm filtering my thoughts at nighttime and in the morning. Daily, I'm empowering my thoughts in the morning and the evening, right? I cannot access, I cannot fight a thought if I don't have ammunition. And there's a lot of people walking around with unrenewed minds with, you know, fighting
• 31:27
  fear-filled minds and they don't have any ammunition, right, to do anything about the problem, you know? And so one of the biggest things that we do to tackle fear is we've got to open our minds and we've got to open our mouths, you know? Think about, how about for yourself, how many times you sit and spend?
• 31:43
  How many times have you sat and you sit and spend and you're meditating on the wrong thing? You're thinking about the wrong thing. What happens? What you meditate on the longest becomes the strongest, right? So if I sat on this podcast prior to this podcast saying, I can't do this, man, I'm just going to give into this fear and anxiety. No, what I had to do is I had to open my mouth. Today is going to be a powerful show. Today is going to be an incredible show. My thoughts are going to be clear. My mouth is going to be clear.
• 32:09
  Kelly and I are going to connect in a powerful way where when this is aired, people's lives are going to be transformed. People's lives are going to be impacted. You've got to speak to yourself. You've got to encourage yourself. So this is one of the ways that I, not perfectly, not every time, but I have found to overcome fear and anxiety. You've got to talk to yourself.
• 32:27
  You got to speak words of encouragement. You know, we're so quick to run to someone else for a attaboy. And we should, you know, hey, you can do it and we should. But there's something dynamic when you can give yourself an attaboy, when you can encourage yourself and not need someone else, man. And it does take discipline. And there's days I've watched you on your podcast. You say, I didn't feel like going to the gym today. Well, the hell with my feelings.
• 32:49
  Right. Feel your feelings and then use your faith to get over them. Right. I didn't feel like doing the podcast this morning. I don't I don't necessarily feel like going to the gym this afternoon, but my feelings have nothing to do with it. It's a decision. It's a commitment. It's part of my lifestyle. Right. Not just once in a while, but lifestyle. Right. And when you have a lifestyle of faith, guess what? When fear comes, you know how to attack it.
• 33:13
  And again, I'm not sitting here saying that there's not wrestling matches you have to go through. I'm not saying there's not some mental calisthenics you go through. But none of us should be capsized or put in a position where we're paralyzed because of a fearful situation. Action is the cure to fear. Hey, remember, there's another acronym for fear. Fuck everything and run.
• 33:35
  No, that's weak. John Gordon always says, have faith over fear. And that's literally what you just said. Have faith in everything. If you look backwards, and you can connect all the dots in your life. And every single time that you thought something was happening against you, it was actually for you. So why not have faith that that's going to continue going forward? And it will. And if you're doing the work, you're going to have faith over fear.
• 34:02
  it will do it faster and more rapidly. Absolutely. Run that silence thing by me again. You said, you know, when someone gets knocked out a ring, they're silent. I didn't write it down fast enough. Silence is the sound of defeat. Silence is the sound of defeat. Love it. Stealing that. Wait for a reel to come out on that one. I'll give you credit. Go for it, man. Go for it. Love it. All right. If you were offered a mulligan in life, what would you do over?
• 34:32
  And don't give me this nothing because everything happened for me. No, that's not true. Okay. That's not true. There's a lot of decisions that I – people have a tendency to say I would not do anything ever again because it brought me to where I am. And there is some truth to that. We don't want to look at our past, and we don't want to –
• 34:52
  you know, have get into the shoulda, coulda, I wish I woulda mindset because we get stuck there. At the same time, we also need to look back at times and realize there's certain actions that brought me right where I am today. The reason for good and for bad, for negative and for positive. And I think when we bypass some of these things, we miss the process. The real gold in personal development is not in the goal. The real gold is the process. Right.
• 35:20
  Learning why I did what I did, you know, understanding, okay, these outcomes that are happening to me are not because I'm a good or bad person. These outcomes that are happening to me are on purpose. They're intentional. There's just what we talked about. There's seeds that are being sown and there's harvest that continue to come my way. So what's most of what's showing up in my life, I have done something to initiate that, right? I've done something.
• 35:47
  A lot of folks talk about what you are shows up in your life, and that's not always 100% true. That's not always 100%. We attract what we are. I kind of hate it when we say that, but there is some truth to that.
• 36:00
  There is some truth to that. We do attract. We are if you're a negative person. You know, it's amazing how you can be in a conference room of a thousand people and that one negative person on the other side of the room finds you. You know, you can be in a room with 20,000 people and you can have negative people around. I'm sorry, a gossip. And, you know, if you're a gossip, that one gossip ends up around you. If you're a baller, if you're a go getter, if you're a goal setter, if you're a personal person.
• 36:23
  growth type of person it's amazing how you attract those kind of people to you you know like become like birds of a feather like they say flock together you know and so we want to be around people uh flocks tribes people that you know uh keep us moving in a forward direction so wait a minute so you're i love what you're i want to tell did you answer the question tell me again tell me again grant did he answer the question
• 36:51
  I guess what would you do if you were offered a mulligan in life? What would you do over? Mulligan. So the mulligan for me, I think the mulligan for me, wow, man, there's so many. I think one of them would have been not engaging in illicit drug activity. I think one of the biggest, no, for real, one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made in my life was,
• 37:14
  was engaging in addictive behavior because that addictive behavior is something I've had to wrestle with my entire life. Is that what you went to a jail for, selling drugs? Oh, not just selling drugs. That's a whole other show. What were you selling?
• 37:27
  I was weed cocaine. There was a, you know, that's what I go to jail for. That's where my selling career started selling drugs. So I was moving mad, mad amounts of fricking cocaine. Yeah. It's just, yeah, that's a whole different, whole different story. Whole different life.
• 37:45
  All right. So I get it. Definitely just, you know, because people realize addictive behaviors lead to more addictive behaviors, you know. So when I open that door, man, it's been a monster. You know, it's not to say that I'm not living free now, but, you know, there's not a day that goes by at times that I have to readjust my thinking, readjust my thought life, you know, recenter myself again every day. It's a decision, whether it's food or whatever.
• 38:09
  I gotta tell you, that's so funny that you want, I wouldn't take back my jail sentence. That's where I first leveled up. I said, I will never be back here ever again. And I made major changes.
• 38:23
  I wouldn't take that back because I did change it because I would have constantly pushed the envelope for my entire life until God said, boom, enough of this crap. Siegel, you're done. So I wouldn't take that back. But I understand because that it was not fun and I hated it at the time. But I'm surprised I didn't ask you this earlier.
• 38:43
  During the 90 day transformation challenge is not drinking a part of that because I challenge people all the time. Give me 90 days. Okay. Give me 90 days of not drinking. And I'm day 91. Hold on. Let me finish. If day 91, you don't fit, you don't, you don't feel better mentally and physically and look better in your skin. I'll give you your money back. So how does that work into there?
• 39:09
  For us, you know, and the team that I work with and my coach personal, Coach JT, you know, we talk about there's, you know, the you can do it your way or there's the drill instructor way.
• 39:20
  If you want to do it your way and implement certain things along the way, you're probably not going to see some results. You're not going to see the same results. For us, we know that if you remove alcohol from your system for 90 days, I don't even have to preach this to you. You know this. There's going to be a change in metabolism. A lot of people drink wine before they go to sleep at night. I'm not here to say don't drink or do drink.
• 39:41
  Um, that's not my job, but I do know, uh, it affects your metabolism. I do know it affects your sugar. I do know when you're trying to lose weight, one of the worst things you can do is drink, you know, uh, it, it, it, it, it interferes with the weight loss process. And so we encourage folks to stay on water, uh, to stay on diet.
• 40:01
  Uh, things are going to hydrate you and, and stay away from the things that are actually going to take away from you. Like alcohol, alcohol to hydrate you. Uh, as you know, uh, brings headaches, brings issues, brings struggle, struggle, troubles to your body. So we, we're like inflammation, inflammation is huge. It took a full year.
• 40:18
  took a full year for my inflammation to go down. I always thought the aches and pains in my elbows and back were from, uh, just working out for 30 years. And then I quit drinking the year. It took a full year, all of a sudden gone. So, and then I just recently learned, and I didn't know this, but, um, people that drink over two drinks per week have a 70% increase in risk of cancer. I didn't know it caused cancer. Not either. Yeah.
• 40:45
  Crazy, crazy. Having said that, I want to talk about your daily routines and habits. What's a day in the life of Rob Malin look like? Usually I get up anywhere between 430 and five o'clock. One of the first things I do is I grab a bottle of water, chug that, grab some coffee. I usually go out to my front porch or in my dining room area and I'll read and listen to something empowering for 45 minutes to an hour.
• 41:12
  Uh, then I go on an early morning walk for an hour. I do a fasted walk, uh, with no food in my stomach whatsoever, no sugar, no, no carbs, no anything. Just, just the water and the coffee that I've had. I walk for a full hour. I take a shower. Uh, I then began to look at my, uh, affirmations and I've right now I've got three affirmations that I'm really focused in on, uh, regarding the books and movie products that I am. So I, I speak affirmations. Uh,
• 41:37
  I also spend time to the best of my ability expressing gratitude to God for my life, for the second chance he's given me, for my family. And then I start making phone calls. I start reaching out to people and my day begins. So really between 5 o'clock and about 10 to 12, that's pretty much my time.
• 41:59
  I try my best not to engage people, do any coaching calls. I can't do this perfectly when I'm traveling. As you know, you can't always keep your schedule perfectly. It happens. You've got to be flexible. Sometimes I've had to work out. Like yesterday, I had to work out at night. I had some stuff that I just could not get around early morning. I try not to interrupt my morning routine and rituals because your morning routine or ritual to me is your self-care opportunity. It's a time you've got to
• 42:24
  take care of yourself. And if I can't take care of me, how the hell am I going to take care of somebody else? You know what I mean? If I, if I don't bring the best of me, how can I, you know, I'm saying, so it's really critical. Uh, so like yesterday, but you gotta be flexible too, you know, but I didn't say, Hey, I'm not going to work out today. I ended up working out at like eight 39 o'clock at night. So again, I try to get my spiritual, uh, time in, in the morning. I try to get my emotional, physical, my affirmations, my reading, um,
• 42:50
  I try to cover all my bases before I engage people. That's really my, and I've been doing this for years now. It's been life-changing, life-altering. And I know for you, I don't even have to ask you. You've got a morning return. I just watch your videos and see what you're doing. I think we have a similar path. Very similar. Very similar. I throw in a little meditation and a workout, but I get there. How does the day end for you? What's the last thing you do before you go to bed?
• 43:14
  The last thing that I do, and I've just been doing this in the last couple of years, I really spend time listening to something positive. Like there's affirmations that I'll listen to. Sometimes I'll listen to a positive teaching. Sometimes I'll just listen to the word on audio. But I always listen to something that's got either music and some sort of –
• 43:34
  Teaching or encouragement, very light, very low. You'll never see me with the TV on at nighttime because the TV just keeps you awake. People don't realize when you've got a bright light shining in your room, you're keeping your subconscious mind awake. You're not getting deep REM sleep. So I try to get the room as dark as possible, and I try to think on positive things. There's a great scripture in the book of Philippians that says, think on these things.
• 43:56
  Think on things that are just, think on things that are lovely, think on things that are pure. If, if there be any good report, think on these kinds of things. And so I try to put myself in a good state in the morning, tackle my day. And then I also try to put myself in a good state as I sleep at night. So I rest in peace and sleep. And I also have a great affirmation that I don't have here in front of me, but I also sometimes speak even the affirmations over me, declaring the type of sleep that I'd like to, to engage in. I tell myself how I'm going to sleep.
• 44:24
  What's a book recommendation that you have for the people? Like I tell everybody my favorite book in the world changed my life was the four agreements. So do you have a great book? One of the well, you know, my one of my go to books that I'm always going to give people, I guess you're already going to know this. It's going to be it is it's always one of my go to books. But also there's a great book by John Maxwell, Leadership.
• 44:47
  And, you know, for me, I'm just not a book hoe, right? And I used to be where I'm just grabbing books, grabbing books. I mean, for me, I'm a reader. I've got so many books. I don't know what to do with them sometimes. But I realized being a book hoe doesn't always help you go in the direction that God wants you to be or your divine assignment. So I'm very, very intentional now.
• 45:05
  about the books that I read. And sometimes I read one book, three, four, five, six, seven, eight times before I move on to another one. Cause I want the information revelation. So I can get that manifestation. What's talking about in that book, you know? So that's, that's, that's a biggie for me, but right now, I mean, I'm always going to tell people go to the Bible, man, Psalms, Proverbs, you know, you can build your brain every single day, man. Uh, in that, in that arena. So obviously being Jewish, you're talking about the old Testament, not the new Testament.
• 45:31
  I talk about both. I talk about both because, you know, a lot of folks don't realize that Jesus was Jewish and that really the entire book, including the New Testament, was written by Jewish authors. That's really a stunning thing to a lot of people. But it's the truth. You know, most people don't know that this Last Supper was a Seder, too.
• 45:48
  And that's so funny to me because as a pastor, I actually taught seders in my church because it wasn't just communion. It wasn't just a wafer. It's a complete seder meal, which is a completely different experience and a beautiful, beautiful meaning and symbology behind it.
• 46:06
  So I got to tell you, a lot of times you'll hear me say, I feel like I'm the chosen one. I mean, I've had so many near death experiences. There's got to be a reason why I'm here. So I'm going to do good. Is there something I haven't asked you today that you feel compelled to share?
• 46:20
  You know, one of the things I feel compelled to share for people right now is, especially right now, is to take life in a space of where it's be light and easy. You know, there's so many folks that right now we've heard about the hustle and grind. And I believe this. When you hustle and grind, you get left behind. Let me say it again. When you hustle and grind, you get left behind. Okay. Please explain. Please explain that.
• 46:46
  It's really important for people to get this. We are so moved, unfortunately, by culture. Culture stems from the way people think. The way people think and their attitude actually determines the culture. So you can look at certain economies all over the world, and you can look at the culture of that economy. And the reason that economy is blossoming is because of the mindset of the people.
• 47:17
  tragic poverty. And you look at the mindset of the people and you see that the culture or the attitude of the people becomes the culture of the society. So when you're dealing with people, attitude has a lot to do with culture. It has a lot to do with mindset and what happens with people, right? So
• 47:42
  I can jump in here because we got to wrap this up. I believe that what happens is you can be busy hustling and grinding, busy doing nothing. And that becomes the addiction. And that becomes where you focus. It's like, I got to do this. I got to do this. I got to do this. And I can't give up because then I'll be a quitter. But you're not going anywhere. You're you're rowing one or in a circle. So I think that's what you meant. It's because you've got to make freaking progress.
• 48:10
  They think it's just work, work, work, work, work. You know, for me, I'm a big person on activity. It's not just time that you're putting in, it's activity. What are you doing in that time? You know, what type of activities, you know, time, activity and energy go together. It's not just, you know, I'm just working my time. I'm just doing my time. You know, what am I doing in that time? How productive am I being in that time? You know?
• 48:29
  So you're brilliant and I love everything about you. We're going to do more when we have more time. Please head over to robmalan.com because these books are coming out. I'm going to get them all. I'll do a review on them. It's robmalan.com. All of his handles are in the show notes. Check out this 90-day transformation because that is right up.
• 48:48
  the harder than life alley. So I really appreciate you coming on. I got to wrap it up. Please rate and share the podcast. Also, I do my best to respond to the comments on all social platforms. So if you want to hear more of something or less of something, leave a comment. Each and every episode is sponsored by National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with, delivering peace of mind with technology every day. Visit TrustNTM.com for more info until next week. Be harder than life.
• 49:14
  Thank you for listening. Please rate and subscribe to Harder Than Life, and let's take this to the next level. Get connected at the links below.