Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Life is a Journey

Transcript

Dear Banya: Life is a Journey · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Beachilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio and
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: two times People's Choice Award winning podcast Hell Love Everybody.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: We are scrubbing in. Tanya just did the heartbeat like
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: you remember Step Up two when they do the dance.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: It's so iconic when they're in the rain and then
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: he does the Yeah, same same vibe.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I know the streets.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, arguably maybe the best.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: It's so good.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: There's a bunch of them though hard to say. Oh really,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I think there's three or four. Yeah, but the guys,
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: how's it going speachy? Keen? How you did just and don' good?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Good?
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: And didn't just fun? Love that. We have a Dear
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Vania today.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Six step Up movies? Yeah, what up?
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Three?
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Step Up? Revolution, Step Up?
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: All in, Step Up, China going to international.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I need to step up, step up my step up. Yeah.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I thought four was reaching.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I thought two was plenty.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: You might be right. We have a Dear Bonnie episode.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: We're here to give advice. Whether you agree or not,
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: that's okay. We just appreciate you being here.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, take it away.
• 1:33
  Speaker 6: Mark from Emily Hey, scrubbing and fam first in Neto
• 1:36
  Speaker 6: A backtrack because Mark and Easton didn't answer how often
• 1:38
  Speaker 6: they washed their water bottles.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Didn't we not? I thought we did.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: I mean maybe we did. You got to kill on
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: my pagreon to get that information, he little pigs.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: If you want that, you gotta pay up.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Do you have a Patreon?
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: I no, No, I don't.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: I have a cameo though, If you buy a cameo,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: I'll tell you how often I watched my water bottle,
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: not at that.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: I have two work one in a home one.
• 2:00
  Speaker 6: The home one gets washed every day, and then the
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: work one gets washed once a week. There you go, Tanya,
• 2:06
  Speaker 6: has that improved on your end?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I mean I've watched it a handful of times since
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: our conversation.
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: But not regularly. Okay.
• 2:16
  Speaker 6: I'm married with two daughters, one and three. I live
• 2:18
  Speaker 6: in a town without any family or close friends. How
• 2:20
  Speaker 6: to make mom friends without being a total creep? I
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: try to have small talk with other moms at church, neighbors,
• 2:25
  Speaker 6: daycare pickup, but I always feel like it's forced, and
• 2:28
  Speaker 6: I'm so not brave enough to ask for a playdate
• 2:30
  Speaker 6: for the kids, because what if they say no? I
• 2:33
  Speaker 6: just feel so beyond awkward during these conversations. I'm trying
• 2:36
  Speaker 6: to be brave and make friends so I can show
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: my girls that we are brave and can do hard things.
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: But it's so intimidating. Thanks for all the last or
• 2:41
  Speaker 6: my absolute favorite podcast. Can't wait to see what the
• 2:44
  Speaker 6: future holds for all of you.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: That's nice, so nice. I feel like this is I
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: do I feel for you because I do feel like
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: this is hard because you're you're in a place where
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: you don't have familiarity. You're kind of isolated because the
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: ages of your daughters three and one, I feel like
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: are an age where you're kind of just in survival.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: And so I think that you're doing a great job.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: I think if you're having those conversations, just put what's
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: the worst they can say, You're already prepared for is
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: no yeah, And if they say no, great, move on
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: to the next. I also think there's so many groups
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: and like ways to connect with people. Now there's BUMBLEBFF,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: you have like all these apps where you can make friends,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: you have Facebook groups. I think you just find maybe
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: places and things that you enjoy and then go or
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: places and things that your kids enjoy. So therefore you're
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: going somewhere where you're meeting other mom friends.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I also feel like, if your kids are playing with
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: their kids, why wouldn't you ask for a playdate? I
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: don't know one mom that would say no. Right, that's
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: another mom.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: It off, that's yeah easy, Yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: That would say no to a playdate.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and maybe even find somewhere fun to go that
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: maybe they haven't been yet, or do research and be like, oh,
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: I wanted to try out this place? Would you want
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: to go and check it out?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I feel like making friends, whether they're mom friends, single friends, whatever,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: it's just like dating. You have to just like keep
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: asking people and then eventually it like sticks.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: And it is awkward, Like no matter what trying to
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: meet new people, whether it's romantic or friends, friendship based,
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: it's just uncomfortable. You have to go through the So
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: where you're from, Although I do feel like with kids,
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: you have this like new information to have people like
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: you can talk you don't even have to talk about yourself.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, where'd you grow up?
• 4:30
  Speaker 6: I like that though. I like where'd you grow up?
• 4:32
  Speaker 6: And I got right into the sports element of it.
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: That's my way in Just the other day, I got
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: to ride from a guy the Enterprise Rendlica.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: So, where'd you grow up by New York. Oh yank
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: you fan? Yeah, and then way we were off, We're
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: off to the races.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: So Haley has this theory because I'm not from LA
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: that she always says She'll ask people where are they
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: from to start the conversation, and if they say, like, oh,
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I'm from wherever, it somehow always gets back to oh,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: my girlfriends from Louisiana and she goes always my way
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: because if I just say I'm from LA, It's like
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: the conversation totally dies.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Like no one cares plot lines, plotlines.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: So she always uses it. But I agree, I think
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: there's something to that.
• 5:08
  Speaker 6: Well, So my wife had a hard time after Ali
• 5:10
  Speaker 6: was born. Ali's now in college, but it was hard
• 5:12
  Speaker 6: at the time because she didn't know anybody and we
• 5:13
  Speaker 6: don't know any family here.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Three things. Number One, she'd only Yahoo Mom's group I
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: think face for a group, same deal. Yeah, that was
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: a big one.
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: Two she joined stroller Fit, which was an exercise class
• 5:24
  Speaker 6: for other moms with your kids in the stroller. You
• 5:27
  Speaker 6: exercised with the kids in the stroller. Met a lot
• 5:29
  Speaker 6: of women That way built her friend group. And three
• 5:32
  Speaker 6: was just like you were talking about, Ali was really
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: good at going up to kids in the playground saying Hi,
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: I'm Ali, what's your name? And some kids would freak
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: out and run from her. Didn't care go up to
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: the next kid, Hi, I'm Ali, what's your name? And
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: then they I remember a girl, her name was Dana,
• 5:45
  Speaker 6: and they hit it off on the playground. We ended
• 5:47
  Speaker 6: up having a whole bunch of playdates with Dana and
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: her family. So these are my three suggestions. These worked
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: for us.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think these are great suggestions. I like the
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: stroller thing because you're getting a workout in, you're having community,
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: and you're entertaining the kids.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: That was great for There's got to be like, because
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: there's a park that I walk. I do a lot
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: of my ten thousand steps around this like specific park,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: and depending on the time of day, there's like a
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: pod of like twenty moms that just sit in a circle.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: They all have a baby on a boob and it's
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: got to be some sort of like newborn class something
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: teaching you how to breastfeed whatever. I don't know what
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: it is.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: I think it's a baby baby on boob group.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but then there's another mom there's you made that up.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: The bomb the bobs.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: So next to bobs, there were the mobs. Yeah, because
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: there was another group of moms but all like we're
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: doing something else with the babies, and like they were
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: looked a little bit older, and so I'm like, and
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: they're all they all look like they were like meeting
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: each other for the first time. So I'm like, everybody's
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: doing it. It's uncomfortable for everybody that you just got
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: to do it. There's it's a means to an end.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: It's so true, you know if dating that mentality of
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: like everyone who's going into those situations either is feeling
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: or has felt the same way that you're feeling. No
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: one is exempt from feeling the nerves and awkwardness of
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: being brave, like you said, So I encourage you to
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: keep being brave, keep putting yourself out there, join some groups,
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: see what sticks.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to do this. I'm sure soon make
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: friends new friends that are in like the same.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: So you gotta find your bob, you gotta find my bobs.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: And that's just when I became a stepmom, like because
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I'm friends with like moms in the school, so they know,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: like what's going on.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to meet some friends that don't have kids. Yeah,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: you learnie, life is it?
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Just watch it as we go.
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: Stunning All right, Grace Hi back at Tanya Market easton
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: day one.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: Scrubber here.
• 7:55
  Speaker 6: Love the podcast and everything y'all do. I'm hoping you
• 7:57
  Speaker 6: guys can have With a work life situation. I'm a
• 8:00
  Speaker 6: social worker and work for a nonprofit in Texas. I've
• 8:02
  Speaker 6: been at the same place for seven years, but recently
• 8:04
  Speaker 6: offered my dream job where I'll get to run my
• 8:06
  Speaker 6: own program entirely. A new company is same city. In
• 8:09
  Speaker 6: the new company in the same city. It's a huge
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: promotion and I would be stupid not to take it,
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: so I've accepted it. My main problem is that we
• 8:16
  Speaker 6: were just about to start trying for our first baby.
• 8:19
  Speaker 6: I'm thirty, my husband's thirty two. We're ready for kids.
• 8:22
  Speaker 6: I can help, but feel like now is not the
• 8:24
  Speaker 6: right time. I really don't want to wait to get pregnant,
• 8:26
  Speaker 6: but at the same time, I don't want to start
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: a new job with a lot of responsibility and then
• 8:30
  Speaker 6: take maternity leave within the first year. I'm struggling with
• 8:33
  Speaker 6: some imposters, says syndrome, as well as with the big promotion,
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: which could be playing a part here. I need advice
• 8:38
  Speaker 6: on how to navigate the situation. Do I stick with
• 8:40
  Speaker 6: my plan of having kids a SAP or do I
• 8:42
  Speaker 6: wait a year or two to settle into the job.
• 8:44
  Speaker 6: I'm worried they might regret hiring me if I announce
• 8:46
  Speaker 6: a pregnancy just after getting hired. Thank you all, you
• 8:48
  Speaker 6: guys are the best.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: I have a friend that has happened too. She got
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: a new job and they were trying, they wanted to
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: start trying for a baby, and then she got this
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: new job and she didn't feel like exactly what we said,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: like getting this new job and then taking maternity leave
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: was like the right thing to do. And it sucks
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: that it's something that we as women have to think
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: about because we also have our biological clocks. I would
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: to think about and it sucks. And so I want
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: you to know, like what you're thinking and what you're
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: going through. I think a lot of people deal with
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: And my friend did end up waiting a year, like
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: so she was start trying to start trying.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I think I really think what is which
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: is my gut is saying go for the new job
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: and try to have a baby. You don't know like
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: when it's gonna happen. It might happen immediately, it might
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: not happen immediately. And I think that you can go
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: and chase after the dream that you've had for a
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: long time while trying to achieve another dream, and it
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: might be a little overwhelming, and they might have opinions
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: on like why did you take this job? But that's
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: not your responsibility think about right now?
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Correct? Well put becca, thank you? Who cares what they think?
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, but we do like you do
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: you take that on?
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: No? No, no, I think and I see, I totally see,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: and I hear it because I would probably feel the
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: exact same way. But I'm saying like, it's not I
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: think when that time comes for them to have an
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: opinion about it, it'll come, So navigate it then. But
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I think in the meantime, take the opportunity you've been given.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: This is such a dream of yours, and also start
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: trying to have a baby. And if you get pregnant,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: then you'll have nine months to figure out, get set
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: up and find someone to help you run it and
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: figure it out.
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: And also lose the imposter syndrome. I know that's easier
• 10:39
  Speaker 6: said than done. But they offered you this job. They
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: didn't offer you this job because they got turned down
• 10:42
  Speaker 6: by a thousand people. They want you to do this
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: job because you're qualified and you're the best person for it.
• 10:47
  Speaker 6: I think you take it and pull the goalie. And
• 10:49
  Speaker 6: if you want to wait a few months to pull
• 10:51
  Speaker 6: the goalie, fine, but I think you got to take
• 10:53
  Speaker 6: this job.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't think there's any need to wait on
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: either thing. Go for it, that's my opinion.
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: I agree, I agree, Easton, I completely agree. Fantastic.
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you know we'll be right back. All right, We
• 11:32
  Speaker 6: are back for anonymous. Hi, Becka, Tania Market, Easton Incline.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Are you there?
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: Because I really want his opinion. It's spend a minute
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: since I've submitted an email, But I'm wondering. I've been
• 11:44
  Speaker 6: wondering about this for a time now and figured it's
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: time to turn to the experts. My fiance and I
• 11:47
  Speaker 6: have been together three years. Of course, as it happens,
• 11:50
  Speaker 6: it started out hot and steamy. Now as time's going on,
• 11:52
  Speaker 6: we barely do the deed once maybe twice a month.
• 11:56
  Speaker 6: We both agree we feel very content in our relationship.
• 11:58
  Speaker 6: Fulfilled in many ways. We have a ton going on
• 12:00
  Speaker 6: in our lives, moving, buying houses, yeah, taking care of
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: our dogs, traveling, new jobs, family issues, all the life
• 12:07
  Speaker 6: changes you can imagine cram into just a few years,
• 12:09
  Speaker 6: and the planner in the relationship he is not so
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: I recently suggested scheduling sex. It sounds kind of silly
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: even to me, but at this point I just don't
• 12:17
  Speaker 6: see it happening organically as much as we'd like. I
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: told him maybe if we schedule it, it'll build some
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: excitement and anticipation, because honestly, for me, this part has
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: been lacking.
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: Have you all ever gone through this? Is it normal?
• 12:27
  Speaker 6: Sometimes to get in my head and I'm like, this
• 12:29
  Speaker 6: is how it's gonna be forever. We aren't even married
• 12:31
  Speaker 6: yet and we don't have kids yet. People say it
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: can become less frequent even more then. Don't get me wrong,
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: I don't have the highest libido ever, but I'm also
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: not dead and would thoroughly love to keep things interesting, exciting,
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: and keep the romance alive and feel it being reciprocated.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Also, we're so damn goofy together. It's the best thing
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: ever because we're always making each other laugh.
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: But we need to reel it in sometimes when we're
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: trying to set the mood.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: Please help. Well, that's good, that's a good sign.
• 12:56
  Speaker 6: I feel like that's good that you're so silly together
• 12:58
  Speaker 6: and laughing that it's tough. I mean, I can see
• 12:59
  Speaker 6: that being a challenge, but I think that's a good
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: time for the relationship.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I also think that it's fun to like be able
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: to laugh even during sex. Like I think it it
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: doesn't always have to be so serious and sexy every time.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: But I'm curious. So he doesn't seem to have a
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: problem with this is.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: What we're It seems like neither of them really have
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: a problem with it.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Kind of does.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: She liked it to be more frequent, but she's not
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: saying like she's like unhappy. She wants it to be
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: more frequent, So she's wondering if scheduling it is like
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: a mood killer.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Well, she she said, is this how it's gonna be? Yeah,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I mean that makes me feel like she's not thrilled.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: About it, But she doesn't seem unhappy.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: No, she seems fine. She seems content. But I think
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: he fears if it's like this, what happens when we
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: get married and if it's like this what happens kids?
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, maybe it's figuring out each other's sex language.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: What's it called?
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: What do we what's like it's called something mm hmm.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: Your sex blue printer.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: I think that if you can figure out what interests
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: the other and turns the other on, I think maybe
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: that could. I think you could bring your humor and
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: fun into those things, like make it fun and like
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: exciting for the things that you both like. So maybe
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: have that conversation of like what do you like, what
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: do you prefer? What gets you in the mood, and
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: so that it's not just this expected thing of like
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: we have it on the schedule and you know it's rigid.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think you can like loosely schedule it too,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: because like I loosely will schedule it in my own head,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: like I'm like I'm getting my period next week, so
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: let's like do it a lot before, like.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? I think I don't
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: think scheduling it is a negative thing. Like I think
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: people are like, oh, yeah, you're.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Is like a nine pm schedule on the Friday night.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Pressure that puts pressure on it. Correct, But I think
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: if you're able to just go like, hey, maybe we
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: can have some time together this week and just like
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: maybe make it spontaneous, but in a way that feels expected. Yes,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: but I don't think it's a horrible thing. I just
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: think you've got to rekindle the I think your's friendship
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: aspect is very strong, and I think you just need
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: to rekindle.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I also think, too, if you say to him, hey,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I really want to have sex more than twice a month,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: and like, let's make this a priority, I don't think
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: that's a bad conversation to have either.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't imagine he would be disappointed to hear
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: that at all at all. Men, Do y'all have any opinions?
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I think it's fine to schedule sex.
• 15:45
  Speaker 6: There's been a lot said about how it can, like
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: she says, increase anticipation and excitement, because throughout the day
• 15:51
  Speaker 6: you're thinking about that, like, oh tonight, that's happening, and
• 15:54
  Speaker 6: how's that going to go, and it's just on your mind.
• 15:56
  Speaker 6: I think it's good. I think I think you have
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: the right idea.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: Here, go ahead and schedule, let's see how it goes.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just don't like put in the calendar.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: I don't mind put in the calendar.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I preferred in the calendar. Yeah, I want to
• 16:07
  Speaker 5: see that thing on my phone.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: A lot better than that.
• 16:09
  Speaker 6: Then in the conference call with so and so meeting here,
• 16:12
  Speaker 6: meeting there. What a great thing to see in your calendar,
• 16:15
  Speaker 6: What a delight?
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: What if other people have access to your calendar? Good
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Friday night, APM.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: Right, let's see here.
• 16:29
  Speaker 6: I want to jump to a confused scrubber trying to
• 16:31
  Speaker 6: make a big life decision. This is B she says,
• 16:33
  Speaker 6: B and T and M and E and S n P.
• 16:36
  Speaker 6: That's Sonny and Phoebe. I think my brain's about to explode.
• 16:41
  Speaker 6: Your advice on business decision that is in front of me.
• 16:44
  Speaker 6: I have two options, and the regardless of what I
• 16:46
  Speaker 6: commit to, it will be successful. I will be fulfilled
• 16:49
  Speaker 6: and I will be living my dream. I just don't
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: know which path to take. Well, that's good, I guess
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: so far. Here's the situation. I'm a young professional without
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: children yet, and I have a supportive family and partner
• 17:00
  Speaker 6: who are willing to support me during this life transition.
• 17:02
  Speaker 6: I'm at a crossroads of leaving my stable job, which
• 17:05
  Speaker 6: at one time was my dream job in order to
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: pursue my own business in the same field. The other
• 17:10
  Speaker 6: option in front of me is partnering with my current
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: employer to open a new location. So here here are
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: the option number one. Path number one.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to say.
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: Start my own business, own it one hundred percent, turn
• 17:20
  Speaker 6: it into exactly what I want. It'll likely take longer
• 17:23
  Speaker 6: to build the brand and the income. My biggest fear
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: on this path is the vulnerability of the beginning stages income,
• 17:29
  Speaker 6: no healthcare, having no idea what I'm doing with figuring
• 17:32
  Speaker 6: out as I go, more risk.
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Path two partner with my current.
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: Employer, get a small piece of the pie, keep a salary,
• 17:39
  Speaker 6: keep healthcare in the startup period, get to be creative
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: on the business side, but within their brand, brand and
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: reputation the company is established. My biggest fear here is
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: trusting the partnership. At the end of the day, I
• 17:51
  Speaker 6: know this is a big life decision I need to
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: make for myself. I keep thinking about how Taylor Swift
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: owns all of her work, and she worked hard for
• 17:56
  Speaker 6: ownership for a reason. Maybe I need to take her
• 17:59
  Speaker 6: energy forward with thoughts.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I have no doubt in my mind that it's path
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: number one. Mm hmmm, one hundred percent. Why because here's
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: the thing, the things that you're worried about, your fears
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: of the low income, the losing the healthcare, having no
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: idea what I'm doing, but figuring out as I go
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: right now, Because you don't have children yet, you are
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: at you can make mistakes and you can do all
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: of this. Now, when you have kids, you can't do
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: all of you It's there's more risk, so you're going
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: to be less likely to make these moves. Losing healthcare, yeah,
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: you're gonna have to pay more for it. But I
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: just think, to me, there is a reason. And you
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: use taylorship as the example of owning your own work.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: There is something to be said about that. And if
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: you have this presented to you in this opportunity right now,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I think you go for it.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I My thought process is, you know, sometimes I
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: watch these videos this is my algorithm TikTok, but it's like, yeah,
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: it's like people racing and one person starts like it's
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: let's say there's items that are laid out in a
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: straight line on either side, and so one person starts
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: at the closest item and they put it in the bucket,
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: and then the other person runs and gets the furthest
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: and starts at the furthest. So it's hard to work
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: at the beginning, but then at the end it's so
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: much easier, and that person always wins. The person who
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: runs further, who starts harder in the beginning, always finishes first.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: And so I think there's something to be said of
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: like putting in the work and even though it might
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: be hard at the beginning, that what comes from it
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: is going to be make your life better and easier.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: And I think like you're putting in the work to
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: create your own brand and business. And here's the thing.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: If you're going to work for another company, you can
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: do that, whether it's the same company that you're debating
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: between or not. If your your idea doesn't go the
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: way you want it to and you need to go
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: and be employed by someone, you'll be able to find
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: that somewhere.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But what in fact that you said you have
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: a supportive family and partner. Yeah, I mean that's like
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: that's like having like five gases of tank in your
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: car before you go, do you know what I mean?
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Like you're already or just a full tank.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: Really yeah, sure, and more in the trunk. But you're right,
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: it's high risk, high reward or a lower risk, lower reward.
• 20:22
  Speaker 6: And if you have kids you probably take the lower
• 20:25
  Speaker 6: risk path. But at this point in your life, I
• 20:27
  Speaker 6: agree with telling you high risk, high reward.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: And I think it's I think what I think is
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: either way you're going to be great. I just think
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: if you're.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: If not now, when, If not you who?
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: If not here? Where?
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: And also I always went in these situations.
• 20:46
  Speaker 6: Which one would I regret? I think you would regret
• 20:49
  Speaker 6: not trying to do your own thing. You won't regret
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: the other one.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: I really agree.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: Agree. All right? Our next one is do I start
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: a long distance relationship? And I have opinions on this,
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: so we're going to get to it when we come back.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: All right, we are back. This one is about long dating,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: long distance relationships.
• 21:31
  Speaker 6: It's from k Dear Banya and Mark in Eastern in
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: mide April, left through to Colorado for a weekend trip
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: with some friends. While standing in line to board my
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: flat at Lax, my inner Tanya came out and I
• 21:41
  Speaker 6: started chatting with the couple behind me. It turns out
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: we're all lds. Mormon, and after just a few minutes
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: of conversation, the wife mentioned she wanted me to go
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: on a date with her son. I kind of laughed
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: it off and said okay, but her husband encouraged her
• 21:54
  Speaker 6: to get my info and we ended up following each
• 21:56
  Speaker 6: other on Instagram. We realized we had mutual friends and
• 21:59
  Speaker 6: lived that evening, her son Ill would be on Instagram
• 22:00
  Speaker 6: and asked me out. We went out on to date
• 22:03
  Speaker 6: while I was in town. It went really well. After
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: I returned to Willa, I messaged him to say I
• 22:07
  Speaker 6: had a great time, and he said he did two.
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: He measured we should go out again next time we're
• 22:10
  Speaker 6: in the same place. Well, ten days later, I booked
• 22:12
  Speaker 6: another trip for a second date. That date also went well.
• 22:15
  Speaker 6: He brought up future plans, asked when I'd be visiting again.
• 22:17
  Speaker 6: He said he'd love to go out next time I'm there.
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: I just got back from that second trip, and now
• 22:21
  Speaker 6: I'm facing a dilemma. I have a really busy summer,
• 22:23
  Speaker 6: maybe four to five weekends that might work for another
• 22:26
  Speaker 6: visit before September. I don't want to wait that long
• 22:28
  Speaker 6: to see him again. Another challenge that we haven't really
• 22:31
  Speaker 6: kept in touch between visits, there's been almost no communication.
• 22:34
  Speaker 6: Everything we've planned has been through DMS. So how do
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: I get rids their texting or talking on the phone
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: in between visits? Or should I just be direct and
• 22:40
  Speaker 6: tell him that's what I'd like? And am I totally
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: crazy for even considering a long distance relationship? Thank you
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: for your help and your input. Sincerely, K that has
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: kind of stuck in LA but also kind of wishes
• 22:52
  Speaker 6: she was in Colorado.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: This is very fun. However, I need him to make
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: some efforts gone to visit. Yeah, so I first and
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: foremost I need him to book a trip to see
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: you and plan a date with you in your city.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: And then I also think that Yeah, I would say
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: my initial reaction is just have a fun summer. If
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: y'all happen to be in the same place, see each other,
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: go on dates, have fun, don't put any pressure on it.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: And then the other thing is like, Okay, if you're
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: connecting and this feels like something that you want to
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: move forward with, go for it. But communication for long
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: distance is everything like being able to talk on the
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: phone and FaceTime and have know what's going on in
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: each other's life. If you're going to enter into a
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: relationship is crucial. So if y'all are still in the DMS,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I think that you need to communicate. Hey, I like
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: seeing you. I like when we go on dates. We
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: have great conversations. But if we were to move forward
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: with this, I would need a little bit more in
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: between us seeing each other. Otherwise, I'm totally open to
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: just be casual to see each other when we see
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: each other. But that's where I stand. I feel like
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: there's like.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: A bigger issue here, and that is why you want
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: a long distance relationship. I'd like you to really think.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think she does. I don't think she wants
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: a long distance relationship. I think it just fell into
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: her lab right.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying. You're trying to make this
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: into something.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: But I think I know what you're getting at because
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: you would intentionally go for long distance people because.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: It protected correct from a lot of pain.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I think her thing is that happened. It fell into
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: her lap. She went on the date, and then she's like, oh,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: I like him? Is this worth getting into.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: A long distance Everything can fall into your lab's, do
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: The same game, K, No, same game K this is
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: so I'm just saying, I just think maybe taking a
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: little bit of an internal look at this.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Because what is the ultimate outcome you date this guy?
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Can you can either of you ever move? I mean
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: it might be early for those conversations, but in my opinion,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: it's never too soon.
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: Have to think about it, because the more time you
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: invest in this, yeah, the more invested you are. But
• 25:04
  Speaker 6: definition you may have a point on you about the
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: internal reasons, and I agree with Becca, you gotta he's
• 25:10
  Speaker 6: got to put some effort for it. He's not doing
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: much of anything as far as I can tell.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Before we move into who's willing to move? We got
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: to get out of the d MS. We got out
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: of the DM some people.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like people don't even give their numbers anymore.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: They just say like DM me.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: Well initially sure because they're no.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: And they just only communicate on DMS.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm encouraging her to get out of that.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he is gen Z, but this
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: is like a gen Z thing.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: Well, whether you're gen Z or not, Okay, I think
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: you deserve to have each other's phone numbers.
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: I think pull back. I think pull back and see
• 25:44
  Speaker 6: what happens. Yeah, is he gonna put in the effort forth?
• 25:47
  Speaker 6: Don't plan another trip, just see how this goes. If
• 25:49
  Speaker 6: he puts a little bit of effort, then maybe, But
• 25:52
  Speaker 6: for now I think.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Hanging back like him being like, what am I going
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: to see you again?
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: Well?
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know, buddy. When when he's come in la.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's right. Planes fly up and they flied left
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: and right.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: Yep, all right.
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: This person who I don't have a name for, is
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: in a mental pickle. Dear Banya, I'm going through an
• 26:17
  Speaker 6: incredibly toxic work situation. My boss has made sexist remarks
• 26:20
  Speaker 6: to me taking credit for my work, told me I
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: take up too much space, etc. As a shaker to
• 26:26
  Speaker 6: no one. And I'm on the job search, which is
• 26:28
  Speaker 6: a story for another time. My boyfriend of six years
• 26:30
  Speaker 6: and I wanting to get engaged, and my work life
• 26:32
  Speaker 6: is so toxic that I said, can we just wait
• 26:34
  Speaker 6: to get engaged until I find something new. I explained
• 26:37
  Speaker 6: that I want to be engaged, but I hate my
• 26:38
  Speaker 6: current work life so much. I don't want to hear
• 26:40
  Speaker 6: a fake congratulations from my sexist boss or have him
• 26:44
  Speaker 6: nitpicked me about being happily engaged.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: To add to it.
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: My boyfriend is contracted by our organization a lot since
• 26:49
  Speaker 6: he's a musician that works for us, so my boss
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: is now starting to target him in his toxic tirade.
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: My boyfriend is my dream partner, the most supportive, funny, kind, selfless,
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: passionate person, and he will do anything to make me happy,
• 27:02
  Speaker 6: so I know he will support me if we decide
• 27:03
  Speaker 6: to get engaged, even though I don't really want to wait.
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: I am a Tanya. My question is what is my
• 27:10
  Speaker 6: problem that's making me want to deprive myself of so
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: much joy because I'm in this position? How do I
• 27:15
  Speaker 6: get myself out of such a funk? How do I
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: stay mentally strong and a modern motivated woman as I
• 27:20
  Speaker 6: look for a new job and enter this exciting new
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: phase of engagement. I'd appreciate any advice. This podcast has
• 27:26
  Speaker 6: been such a highlight to my week during this stressful,
• 27:28
  Speaker 6: transformative time. Thank you for being a safe, supportive, and
• 27:31
  Speaker 6: inspiring space for so many listeners.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: I don't want you to wait to get engaged until
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: you find a new job, because that sucks, and I
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: feel like I hate this boss for you, but I
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: almost wish that you could like disassociate or compartmentalize, which
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I think is a very important lesson in life. And
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: if you can learn how to do that now, I
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: think it's just going to benefit you more in the
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: future to like compartmentalize. Like, Okay, I'm going to zip
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: at my cocoon, I'm going to go to work and
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to deal with this asshole, but I'm gonna
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: come home, I'm gonna guns at my cocoon, and I'm
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: going to like have my happy life sever it. Yeah,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: And I feel like you need to do that because
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: I think searching for a job, especially now, it might
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: take you some time, and I feel like waiting to
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: get engaged so that until you have a new job
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: just seems like you're putting a pause on such a happy,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: exciting time in your life.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I feel like, unfortunately it's hard to avoid
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: because it we're humans. But I think you're giving this
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: boss so much energy that I'm like, don't give him
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: the energy of affecting your happiness about being engaged to
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: the person that you love.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: And like, when I tell you, I understand, I didn't
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: deal with the sexist boss, thank god, but I dealt
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: with a very meet.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, Oh oh no, so I'm sorry. Yes, sexist. There
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: was no like, uh actual harassment, oh sure, Like I
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: didn't deal with that, right, But it was very negative,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: It was very toxic. It was very harmful to my
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: all around being. Like I would take it home with me.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Everything he said I would take home with me. I'd
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: be miserable and miserable and miserable. And I actually don't
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: even know how I did it, but I was able
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: to dissociate so much that like literally now it's like,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, he's not my boss anymore, but you could
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: say anything and it would just like fly over my
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I could not care less. So I did it.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: It takes practice, I mean, it takes a lot of
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: practice and like energy, shifting your energy into what you're
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: like putting your focus on. But I just think that
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: if you just wait to let yourself be happy in
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: your personal life because of this loser you're just getting,
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: you're letting him win. And I really don't like to
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: see a loser like that win.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Same.
• 29:52
  Speaker 6: And also, there are a lot of excuses that you
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: can use to postpone major life moments, And why we
• 30:00
  Speaker 6: do that, I don't know, but I think that. Like,
• 30:03
  Speaker 6: for example, when I propose to my wife, she wasn't
• 30:05
  Speaker 6: expecting it because she she was going back to school
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: and she assumed that after the two years she was
• 30:09
  Speaker 6: going back to take the program. We probably get engaged
• 30:12
  Speaker 6: after that, so she didn't even see it coming because
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: we were pushing things off. Because I think that's an
• 30:16
  Speaker 6: there's an instinct there, like even though this is the
• 30:18
  Speaker 6: perfect guy and you want to be engaged, it's like
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: closing off a chapter of your life.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: It's a major life moment, or.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: You want to have like all your ducks in a row.
• 30:26
  Speaker 6: And I even said that as part of my speech
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: to my wife on the beach that day when I proposed.
• 30:30
  Speaker 6: Is I know we're not ready for this. I know
• 30:32
  Speaker 6: we don't have everything set up the way we wanted to,
• 30:34
  Speaker 6: but I don't care. So I think you kind of
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: got to. If you wait till everything's perfect, you're never
• 30:40
  Speaker 6: it's never going to happen. So I say, go for it,
• 30:43
  Speaker 6: get engaged, same, enjoy that part of your life.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: Severate.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Severate.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: If you all don't know, sever it is from severance.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Touching well, I mean it's basically compartmentalizing right off your work.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: If you're your work life where you go home. Yeah, correct,
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: Let yourself be happy with the man that you love. Yeah,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: and don't let the man you don't love.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: Dictate any other part of your life.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Don't give them that power.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: That's right, that's right.
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: A lot of power, a lot of power. We give
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: people so much power, and it's crazy, preach. No one
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: should have that amount of power over you. That's right,
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: only you, that's right, over yourself.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: That's right. Well, that's all for now. I saw someone
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: wrote on the scrubbing and Facebook group, Hey, I had
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: a dear bonniu question where do I write in? And
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: I said, let me announce it one more time. I'll
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: do it over and over again. Actually, if you have
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: a dear Bonnia that you want us to address, give
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: advice on acknowledge, et cetera, et cetera. You can DM
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: the scrubbing in Instagram, which is scrubbing in pod at
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: scrubbing in pod or you can email us at scrubbing
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: in at iHeartMedia dot com. We love you so much.
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: We love you by