Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E 22 - Steve and Jeff Create a Conspiracy Theory

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S3 E 22 - Steve and Jeff Create a Conspiracy Theory · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wherever you listen to podcasts, write us a review while you're there, too.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, hey, thanks, Johnny and Jeff.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: How is it going?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's going good.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: How about with you, Steve?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, going great.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: First signs of spring.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's always so exciting.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, the blizzard that really brought spring in.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: That was really exciting too, I thought.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's all kind of confusing.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very seasonal.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: It was also the beginning of baseball, which was weird because I think the way it's set up is they do that couple games in Japan and then everybody waits another week for opening day for everybody else.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of a it's a long flight back, you know.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, yeah.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: So it was confusing, but it was kind of good that the Cubs were on.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm a Sox fan, but it was good that the Cubs were on.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: It would have been just tremendous.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: But being a Cubs fan myself here, they lost both games.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: The Dodgers are good.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, okay, but come on.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's like they weren't even playing, you know what I mean?
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Everything that I've been reading is saying, Oh, the Cubs are gonna have a good year.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, well, have we read that before, Jeff?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, well, you know, we're old.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think I feel like I've heard this, well, I don't know, 60, 70 times before.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, well, I and I'm a Sox fan, you know, and last year we set a record.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: We set a record for the most losses in one season.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, the sunny records.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the longer it goes without them playing, the better I feel.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because you know, oh and two for the Sox is like a good start.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when they're not playing, you can't lose, right?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's just I gotta tell you though, I I was a little surprised with some of the players on the team.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, granted, they're playing in Japan, but it's almost like they were trying to stage it, you know, because both teams started Japanese pitchers, and they had Japanese players in the field.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the star of the game, of course, was Otani, best player in baseball, probably.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, he's Japanese, so yeah, you know what that means.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking the same thing.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking, you know, DEI.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, diamond extracurricular injuries, yeah.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's that's exactly what I was thinking.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's really gone too far.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, let's say, for example, that they play, say they do the same thing the first part of the season next year, and let's say they play in Israel or Gaza, which will be Israel at that point, right?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: What are they gonna trot out Sandy Koufax?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: What is he, 90?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: They're gonna trot him out to the mounds, right?
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he gave up pitching when he was, you know, 35.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: What do you come on?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of good Jewish baseball players out there.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, the great Hank Greenberg, the great Sandy Koufax, the great well, you know, there are a few others, but it'd be nice if they just let the best players play, no matter where they're from, you know.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: I agree with you.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: And and and then there's that other part because it's just all the world is political.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm looking at are these guys, are they all born guys?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, who who knows?
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: How do you know?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know, and you look at some of these catchers and the way they squat, and I'm thinking, you know, maybe I I don't know what to say.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: So that was kind of my feeling about that.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, the weather thing was exactly what you said.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we got some really shitty weather, and yeah, just for the record, I had nothing to do with the storm that came through.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: My Jewish laser, a space laser laser was in the shop, so oh yeah, yeah, you know, needed a new thermostat.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't know about my Jewish brothers in Iowa, but for me, I had nothing to do with it.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Jeff, I'm I'm glad you cleared that up, and I can actually vouch for your Jewish brothers in Iowa because both of them were over at my house last night.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: So they didn't do it, they they hadn't and they didn't bring any machines or anything like that.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, they brought they brought this little device that you know.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh I'll tell you off the air, but you know, but it wasn't like a space laser.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, this is exactly how rumors start, and these rumors they start a foothold, it's like a rumor snowball, and it starts rolling down the hill.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: And pretty soon it's a conspiracy, conspiracy theory.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just find something that you don't like and and just say, Hey, I want to believe X about that, and just repeat it over and over.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty soon people start to believe it.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, not that any politicians has ever done that.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, no, no, no.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Although all you have to do is kind of look at January 6th, and I mean, here we were.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: We all saw on primetime TV what had happened, and all of a sudden I turn around and it's gone.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like it, like it never existed.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, absolutely.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, somebody said it's being replaced with like Freedom Day, where we're gonna honor the brave, nonviolent, unfairly jailed.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what those people were called who stormed the the capital, but they were peaceful, obviously.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, very, very peaceful.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: When they very peaceful, they clubbed those cops very peacefully.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: They rammed that flagpole into the cop very, very gently.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was there were there, it was a day of love.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it they're American heroes because they were fighting for the freedom to elect who we want to elect, regardless of the election.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and Jeff, I'm glad you cleared that up too, because a lot of people think that was an insurrection or a riot or is like a beer hole putsch.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And now, if you burn a Tesla, that's terrorism.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you defecate in the halls of Congress and attempt to kill congressmen and hang the vice president of the United States, that's a day of love.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: That theory works though, making people forget what they saw.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: But really, though, that's only half the job, especially at least were injured and and actually died as a result of the attacks.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, so for those who just can't believe what our king says about what happened on January 6th, they created a conspiracy.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, of course, every you know what everybody does these days, create a conspiracy, you don't like it.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, is this conspiracy going on?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: So they created one that covers the violence and and the dead police part.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Now, keep in mind, this is mostly for the un-American crowd, right?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: None of the Republicans in Congress needed to be convinced at all.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: They they just needed to hear the words Elon and primary in the same sentence, and they tripped over themselves to be servile.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, some of them really are developing knee problems because they're on their knees so much, but but I digress for for the remaining few, and I do mean few, our king blamed the usual suspects, yeah.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Correctly, of course.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Black Lives Matter rioters and you know, FBI agents, of course, and deep state actors.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, that deep state was a cool TV show, it was a British show, I think, but I I can't remember any of the actors.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they must really get around though.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: We hear about them everywhere, yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that collective group of deep state actors and black lives matter rioters, and and as as you know, those are rioters.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: If they're if they're black and they're organizing, they're rioters.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And uh if you're saying justice for whoever, yeah, well, you're a rioter.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's right.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then and then those FBI agents, you know, they should just fire all of them.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think they should just start.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: I guess they already have, right?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: They tried to I am so glad that they did away with the weaponized Justice Department and they turned the Justice Department into a tool of the king.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I am so glad that it's not weaponized anymore.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And they're really they're doing the good work of taking hundreds of people and just saying, up, yeah, they're gang members, out we go.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Great.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's what they should be doing.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And the group that I think should be held accountable are those IRS agents.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you know.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, they are, they will be.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: They need to be.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: They got those shark pens, and I don't know, are they like somehow related to the IRA in Ireland?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's some connection.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know exactly what it is, but if you ask me, they're very un-American.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: All their taxes and their audits and all that other stuff.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And they kind of have the same problem you were noticing about like with the baseball players with the catchers.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: So uh it's like maybe we need maybe baseball and maybe the IRS needs somebody to come in and examine genitals.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's really important.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you brought that up.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know, just thought of it, but hey, what an idea.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but you know what is truly American?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: What is truly American?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: What is truly yes, you know what is truly American?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Conspiracy American, Steve.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Conspiracies, yes, and lots of them.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: I hear a lot of conspiracy theories.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Miss Claire is very big on conspiracy theories.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: I hear a lot of them.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Most of them I don't believe, right?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I will say, not all conspiracies are alike, and I do kind of believe in some.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, well, one in particular.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: Me too.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we're thinking about the same one.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I think without question, when we were growing up, the biggest conspiracy that we always thought about was exactly how President Kennedy was assassinated.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: That was the big one.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, absolutely, you know, and I really have to give our king credit for digging up all this old information and making it public for the American people, releasing the findings of the investigation 60 years later, because yeah, people do want to know that.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I I certainly want to know that.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: It it's very exciting, even though really the thousands of pages of documents that he released didn't say anything, and they were heavily redacted.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, and and there we go.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: See, what is redacted?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now they were edited, they were blacked out, but is that redacted?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: See, I don't yeah, see, I this but I digress here.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Some people may recall that the official story of how President Kennedy was assassinated was that there was a lone crazy shooter, Lee Harvey Oswald, but there were a lot of other theories.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, you know, you've probably heard a bunch of them too.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, some say that Castro was involved because of the Bay of Pigs.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, by Castro, I mean Ted Cruz's father.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: That one has legs, though, right?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because the king seems to talk about it a lot.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you notice that?
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: And also, you know, I heard that Ted is about to take another extended vacation to Mexico, so Texas better brace for a disaster.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Just saying.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and you know, I haven't really heard much from Ted lately.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I wonder if a little, yeah, it is good.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm wondering.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's something to that when they get all the information out about Ted's father.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I think it's interesting.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, the conspiracies about the Kennedy assassination don't stop there.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: I heard that yeah, I heard that vice president Johnson.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: They there was talk that maybe he was the one who paid people to assassinate the president so he could become the president.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: I I think that's wrong.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, I cannot even imagine a vice president that would be so soulless and without principles that he would do something like that just for personal gain.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Hard to believe.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: Hard to imagine hard to believe.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and by the way, I heard that vice president Vance is back in Ohio.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think he's in Springfield, you know, supervising the deportation of the full city of Springfield, Ohio.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, that's the kind of hands-on stuff that you sort of expected from him.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, but back to I was saying, I just can't imagine a vice president doing something like that.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know, I actually heard that when Vance went back there, I heard part of the reason he went back is he had a sudden taste for cocker spaniel stew.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: But but I digress.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's delicious.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I I've heard I've heard it's really good.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta get the kind of the golden cocker spaniels are the tastier, I've heard, you know.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: A little salt, it's very good.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: But but I but I really digress, you know, if the theory of President Johnson being involved in the assassination wasn't true, which uh, you know, maybe I don't know.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: But if that's not true, what about the theory that organized crime had him killed?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, boy, you hear that a lot too.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that he was involved with that.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and there was the it had to do with Cuba and the casinos and and Robert Kennedy going after some of their guys, but that's right.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so yeah, there were I mean, there's there's some story behind it, but you know, so maybe organized crime was involved, but you know, from what I read, the entire Trump family had alibis that weekend.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I I don't know if organized crime really was involved, you know.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's good to know, but uh yeah, I'm just spitballing here.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: But what did we just say?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: We said there was like Marilyn Monroe, you know, cheating on his wife, and then there's the casinos and all that.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: It just sounds familiar to me, and you know, sounds very Trumpian.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is it just me?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: Am I you know you know that up or history may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme, you know.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it rhymes in a different way.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you know what I mean.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's good to know.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I think the most recent conspiracy theory that I heard was came from uh Robert Kennedy Jr.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you not believe something that he said?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: Brilliant man.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, when he said there's a worm in my brain, I'm totally prepared to believe that.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: I am too, and you know, he's he's now in the White House and you know making decisions that will make all of our lives better.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and and and you know, and who would say, Yeah, I put a dead bear in Central Park if they didn't put a dead bear in Central Park.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Why would you say that?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I he I believe whatever he what did he say?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me, tell me.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I guess he's he's just brought up the idea.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now he says, I think he usually says, I'm not saying 100% for sure.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just saying that we should look into the possibility that this could be vaccine related.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe if you're looking at vaccines, maybe we should look at Dr.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Fauci, you know.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely, probably a young man back then, but uh, I don't know for sure.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he doesn't know for sure, but he just thinks that we should investigate that because we all know that vaccines have been used to to be weaponized against the American people, at least according to uh Robert Kennedy Jr.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it's possible, although I do have to say it's a little far-fetched because didn't Kennedy get shot?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was on TV, right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I I don't remember scenes, it was on Zapruder TV.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, but there is a film of it.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: But now don't disregard that as a crazy conspiracy just yet, because I have been told, I think this came right from HHS, you know, the new like the post-January HHS, so it's got to be true, right?
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: I have been told some vaccines can be shot right into the body through a bullet, some from a very long distance away.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you're a high-powered rifle, you it could be from a very great distance away.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: That would kind of explain the whole single, single gunman, single shooter, lone nut, well, lone vaccinator conclusion that the government came up with.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, oh yeah, and we should definitely investigate that.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying that the government lied or that they're hiding anything, but I do have questions.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, one of my questions is if there was anything to hide, why did they make a movie about it?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, exactly.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: And why would it start Kevin Costner, who was very handsome back then?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Although my wife says that he kind of looks like a turtle.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you see that or not.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: But I I do get to think of some others that remind me more of turtles than Kevin Costner.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but anyways, so I actually dog, maybe he does look a little like a prairie dog that I think about.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, yeah, I think that's true.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I think we deserve an answer.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, to make him even more interesting, the first part of that actual investigation has now has been released, and it just brings up I say, like I said earlier, you're not really you really didn't say anything, you know.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And well, there are only about eight or nine words that were readable, but it just it just brings up more doubt, more questions, keeps the conspiracy going.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: One part in particular I thought was very suspicious.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know the one you're talking about.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: Did it have to do with that conversation between uh President Johnson, you know, after Kennedy was was killed and Putin?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: I I I mean Nikita Khrushchev.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, yeah, I get confused too.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the day it was it was like the day after the assassination and Lyndon Johnson you know had been sworn in as president and the red phone rang on his desk.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I don't know.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what the red phone is for?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I sure do.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's the phone that our king uses for his late night talks with Vlad.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: They kind of lay in bed and talk, you know.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's a and well, he uses it to order KFC also, but well, yeah, it's uh the way I understand it, it's it's on his desk, it's right next to the Diet Coke button, which is not the nuclear button.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's the Diet Coke button.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, that's that's the one.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, anyways, back then that was at the height of the Cold War tension.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: If that phone ever rang, it was always extremely important.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's not like now when peace and stability reign and there are sane people, reasonable people running every country.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: I just it's just so exciting.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I don't think we appreciate how good a relationship our leaders have.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Give you one example here.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Did you hear that our king was calling Vlad the other day to ask him for permission to make a concession to Ukraine?
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, which I mean, I guess you gotta ask, but you kind of know the answer, right?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: And Vlad's always a little playful.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, he likes to show who's boss and he likes to kind of do it in a playing around sort of way.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So Vlad kept him on hold for over an hour.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what a what a prankster.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: He'd be you know, if he was if he was a Norse god, he'd be Loki.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, what a prankster.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And and to make it really funny, you know, while Trump was on hold, I just kept cracking up just thinking about what drove when he was on hold, our king was on hold.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Putin made fun of him to the group that he was talking to, you know.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's gotta be a great relationship.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because how good of a relationship do you have to have with a friend that you can just ignore him, make fun of him, and make the secretary of state wait eight hours and you know, and and then they still kiss up.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: They gotta be just like this.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I know for our audio listeners, you're not seeing, but I have two fingers together, they're like this.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: Clearly, President Putin, I I mean President Musk, I mean President Trump.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, he was completely under control, he had it all under control, and he always does.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, as I said, you know, uh back to the story.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: President Johnson hears this red phone ring and he answers the call.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And on the other side of the phone is the general secretary, Nikita Khrushchev.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: He says, Mr.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: President, I was very saddened to hear what happened to President Kennedy, and I would just like to personally extend my condolences.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was a sweeter time back then.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was, it was more polite.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, people people killed each other in wars, but they hated it, you know?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: It was it was more gentle.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: And President Johnson was touched.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, yeah, and he said, you know, I really appreciate your kind words, Mr.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: General Secretary, but was there anything else you called about?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Khrushchev hesitated for a second and then he said, Well, Mr.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: President, I I just want to assure you that the Soviet Union had nothing to do with the assassination of President Kennedy.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: Johnson laughed and said, No worries, we already knew that.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I bet he did, you know.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that sounds like the smoking gun or smoking guy or something, or you know, no smoking or smoking area only, or you know, I would I would not put it past our government to keep this kind of stuff quiet.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just think.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, imagine it would make of everyone pretty scared and unsafe.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, it was another country like Canada that killed our president, uh, that would definitely hurt our relations.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we might, I mean, if Canada assassinated our president, gosh, we might put tariffs on him or something.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: But the thing is, Steve, I just can't tell the difference between a crazy theory or one that should be believed, because I think the Kennedy assassination is kind of believable a little bit.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it could be true, but a lot of these other ones aren't.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how you really can tell the difference, but I know there's another conspiracy theory out there that I think is ten times worse.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: I know what you're talking about, and I'm not sure we should go there.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Can I give you another one that is clearly fake to replace it?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: How about the earth being flat?
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh or that the earth is hollow.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Now, can it can it be both flat and hollow?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like some stairs at my doctor's office when I was a kid.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: We used to walk up these stairs and they were they were flat, but oh, you can you know, one of those steps it would echo is like there's nothing under these stairs.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: You're just up in the middle of nowhere here.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it kind of freaked me out, but I digress.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, but I I think those are good ones, and I think we could use those, but then I kind of go back and I think if there is this conspiracy theory out there and it's so hateful and obviously dishonest, and you know, is is that message is delivered to millions of people, maybe we should use our platform, our millions of people, and help them understand when these theories are out there and and how dangerous they are, you know, give some oxygen to this and help clear up what other people might be thinking is true, which really isn't.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Jeff, oxygen is the best cleanser.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: If I just flip over the cards and bleach.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: And bleach, yeah.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you gotta drink the bleach.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_00: Don't drink the oxygen.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: It could blow up.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: You breathe that, you drink the bleach.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: But uh should I do like John Charles Daly and just flip all the cards over here?
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, tell our audience what we're talking about.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, please.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you do the first part and I'll do the second part?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: That way we'll both end up in some prison together.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the first part is so hard to believe and it's just incredibly destructive.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's this theory that our king is a lying, vindictive idiot and a barely functioning narcissist who might might have tertiary syphilis and who is incapable of absorbing basic information or feelings and has a vocabulary of less than a hundred words.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, come on.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: And Jeff, the second part.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: So hateful.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and the second part is the conspiracy part, which is that supposed secret about our king is known by every Republican in Congress, and which is perfectly fine for them as long as they get what they need and that they can stay in power and you know, basically screw the American people or our country or our government.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And now it looks like the whole world.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: All they really want is their king and the new pair of knee pads, because they're wearing out those knee pads so fast.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's just, I'll tell you, you know, those are the two parts of this pernicious, just pernicious conspiracy theory.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And whoever spreads these untruths about our king is just wrong.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Our king represents exactly who we are and the values that we want to have.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: If that wasn't the case, he wouldn't have been elected king, you know, right?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: And best part is that he told you all along who he was and what he would do with unchecked power.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Hey, I'm gonna be a dictator, you know, and he you gotta admire somebody that keeps their word.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and as far as the Republicans are concerned, giving our king unlimited power, bravo to them for finally making the deal of a lifetime, you know, the deal with whatever it is, you know, so that they can get what they want because they've always been so frustrated, just always seemed like they could never get what they wanted.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, being fans of billionaires and and getting their money and setting up packs and retiring rich when you started poor, they've hated that.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: They have hated that so much because it wasn't what they wanted, but they had to do it right for the good of the country, right?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: They had to do it.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can't take something like this and in in a matter of just a minute or two dispute it and have to go through each of the points themselves to really understand it.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I I think it's hateful and I don't know where it came from, but I think our goal should be to try to help America understand the truth.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, Jeff.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, just before before we go here, I I gotta I gotta touch on a couple of conspiracy theories that I've been hearing a lot, and I just great, you know, I just wonder why people are spreading these theories.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: At first, yeah, birds aren't real, right?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, of course they're real.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have a bird feeder right outside the window at my mom's house, you know, and uh there are birds there all the time.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, is your bird feeder real?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm just throwing that out there because maybe if it's if it's you know well, you know, the birds aren't real and the feeder the other night, the other night after oh gosh, maybe a gallon of pop-off, I took a look at it and I and I couldn't see it.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought, well, maybe it's not there.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, or maybe the pop-up is truth serum, you know, you know, but you know, and the other one, the other theory, Jeff, I you know, you keep hearing about this, this surfaces all the time throughout history.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: The protocols of the learned elders of Zion State Park.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what are they doing?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's practically Wisconsin up there, you know.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: What are they doing up there anyway?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, number two, protocols.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, I mean, so they rank things, okay.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_00: So they had some priorities.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, is that a bad thing?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: I guess depends on the priorities, I suppose, but isn't it good to prioritize things?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't know.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: I agree, and maybe the strategy here should be to move people away from the conspiracy about the Republicans and about our king and move them more towards those kinds of conspiracies that may not do as much damage, you know.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, planning on eating the birds, you know.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and because hey, what damage has the protocols of learned elders as I am done ever in history?
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, please.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: What is that?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Hardly anything at all.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, nothing at all.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, well, you know, Jeff, I'd like to I'd like to keep going here, but we're just about to get kicked out of eccentric Lady Land Studios, and we're not out of time yet.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: But there are a couple of very unhappy gentlemen with guns who are refusing to show badges.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so I think we might want to go.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't speak El Salvadorian, and I you know I burn so easily in that climate, but you know, but do they look like birds?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because if they look like birds, they're probably not real.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of those name is Robin, yeah.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, there you go.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I gotta tell you, I'm just so I'm glad we were able to have this this colloquy here.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: Me too.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, we had a we had a guest that talked about conspiracy theories, but uh you know, it was a little more on the nutty side.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this I think we really we really touched on some of the realities of it, you know.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: I I agree.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: And don't you think the conspiracies are more effective when they sound almost like they could happen for real?
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: And oh sure.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's kind of where we're at.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not saying that our leader is, you know, all those horrible things that that that they've been saying about him.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't I can't think of hardly anybody that has those qualities, that many of them, all bundled into one person.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's a very short list.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's very short list.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just glad we we had this opportunity, and we don't really have a guest to give gifts to, but maybe, Jeff, maybe this show was our gift to the American people, and and maybe Johnny can get some gifts to the American people, Jeff.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: Johnny, what do you have for the American people?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Right, Steve?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: The American people will never be fraudsters again when they take a bite out of their new gold-plated social security balsamic reduction, taking that check down to zero.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: Necessity is the stepmother of invention, so just imagine the industry you will see when those seniors and disabled try to make enough to survive.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: And with the tariffs, they'll need all the stepmother they can get.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: All yours from the doggy branch of X Marks the Spot Corporation, formerly known as the United States.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: And to make up for all that lost foreign tourism, they'll receive a 3% discount on luxury touring yachts, a$750,000 value, when they buy one of our fine American ships, made in El Salvador.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: This has been an Alien Enemies Act production in association with who's signed this thing media.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Learn more about Stephen Jeff at their website, step and Jeff.com.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is generally speaking.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not much for conspiracy theories.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, except for that one about Stanley Kubrick faking the moon landing.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, and that one about there being two Paul McCartneys.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and then there's night.