Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 79- My conversation with Amanda & Jessica From Little Seed Match About Surrogacy.

Transcript

Episode 79- My conversation with Amanda & Jessica From Little Seed Match About Surrogacy. · You Minding Your Own Business

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, ladies, Mss Jessica, tell me about you guys's journey
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: and how you got here, because you guys had this
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: very beautiful journey of being surrogants and having this baby.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: And I know there are millions of.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Couples that are in your community that are trying to
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: have children.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: And I always say that children are a blessing.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: And I don't care if it's a male and a female,
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: two males, or two females. I figure that it's all
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: about the love that you give for a child. And
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: I think that regardless of what you are, and regardless
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: of what you want to be, you want.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: To give that love to a child.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: So tell me about you guys, the story and how
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: you guys got to this beautiful journey of raising this
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: beautiful child.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: And now you guys are.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Helping so many other people that are going through the
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: same journey.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Well my journey, I was the intended
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: parent and Amanda was my surrogate. Oh gosh, I had
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: been dealing with infertility for probably about three and a
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: half years. I went through three miscarriages and one missed miscarriage.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: And you know, for those that don't know what that is,
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: it's when you have the baby in your body does
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: not recognize that the baby is no longer, no more heartbeat,
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: and so you continue to carry that baby for several
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: more weeks, sometimes until you can pass. And so I
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: had experienced so much grief and so much loss in
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: that I had spent oh my gosh, probably anywhere between
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: ten to fifteen thousand or more infertility trying to figure
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: out why I could not carry and what was going on.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: I quickly realized I felt like, or I knew, I
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: had become part of the statistic of one in six
• 1:55
  Speaker 4: deal with infertility, and that was really really hard pill
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: for me to swallow. So at that point, I really
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: had to make a decision how we were going to
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: grow our family and what that looked like. I had
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: interviewed so many of the agency traditional models, and in
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: a point when you're grieving so badly, I felt like
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: the care it was constantly dangled for me of how
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: much my I willing to spend to have a family,
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: What does this look like? It felt so transactional, it
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: just couldn't even processed. I felt like I was being
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: either priced out or what I was looking for my
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: core values just could not align. I mean, we were
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: talking anywhere between forty to seventy k just to find
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: me a sarrogate, and then another fifty to one hundred
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: to pay the sarrogate. It was just, you know, a
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: hard pill to swallow when you're already grieving that you
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: can't carry yourself. And it wasn't until I met Amanda
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: the non traditional way that I felt like I could
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: kind of breathe again, like everything was not transactional all
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: of a sudden, this journey was beautiful and I felt
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: like I could enjoy and see light at the end
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: of the tunnel and that there's so much more. There's
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: so many people wanting to have a baby that can't
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: do it the natural way. And we realized, we're like,
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: we have to change up what is happening in the industry.
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: We have to change. We want to make a difference.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: We need to help families find that alignment and that
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: connection to grow to grow family. And that's when we
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: started a little seed match.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: I loved that because when I was pregnant, I remember
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: it was the biggest shock of my life because I
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: was twenty one when I had my.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Son, and he's autistic, and.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: So finding out I was sixteen weeks pregnant, going through
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: the journey of fear. Knowing that I was sixteen weeks
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: pregnant at twenty one, it was like, Okay, am I
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: going to have this baby?
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Or I'm not going to have this baby.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: But then I said, you know, my world was crashing
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: at the time, and I realized that my son was
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: a blessing because.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: I never got married and I raised him as a
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: single mother.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: And when I found out he had autism, it was
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: like the hardest thing in the world to deal with.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: And I said to myself, no, I'm not going to
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: let this disability stop him from.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Being the best version of himself.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: And so when I think about that, when it comes
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: to the surrogacy, I think about it in that same aspect,
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: because there are millions of women that want to have children.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: There are millions of children that are in Falster care
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: that don't have parents at all. And I always say
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: every Mother's Day, I said, it isn't just about the
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: women that give babies birth naturally, but it's also the
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: women that raise children as stepmothers, the women that raise
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: children that are bringing children into the world that may
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: not be theirs. But every child deserves love, and I
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: think that having that experience. But I think about Adrian
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Ballin when she talked about her and her husband's journey
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: when she couldn't have a baby and she had to
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: go through the surrogacy of having this baby and watching
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: another woman have this baby. She said, just the fact
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: that I was able to be there, the relationship that
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: built with her watching her have this baby, to be
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: able to see this baby grow, to be able to
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: see the baby being delivered, and it's her baby.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: And I said, that's the most important thing. It's still
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: her baby.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: And I don't want anyone to ever feel like because
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: you cannot have children and you're having a baby that's.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: By someone else, that's still a beautiful experience.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: So for you, Amanda, what was it like for you
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: carrying this baby, bringing this baby into the world, and
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: what made you decide that you wanted to be a
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: sarrogant to help bring this baby in the world.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, so such good questions and I love
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: answering these. So for me, I always felt called and
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: led to be a surrogate. And where that comes from
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: is I don't feel like I'll ever.
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: Be done having babies. I always feel like there's going
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: to be more.
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: Now logistically I cannot have twenty million children, but the
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: fact that one day when I was driving with my
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: husband and I was like, man, I could do this
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: for somebody else.
• 6:41
  Speaker 6: You know, I have three.
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: Beautiful boys, and I see the other side of growing
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: and having a family. And so I started looking into
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: surrogacy and what that entailed, and for me, it just
• 6:53
  Speaker 5: felt very transactional, the traditional way through an agency. I
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: felt like I was selling a car versus finding the
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: human connection. So for three years I did not pursue surrogacy.
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: I just it just didn't resonate. And when Jessica and
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: I came together and created this sister, this.
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: Bond, it just felt aligned.
• 7:16
  Speaker 5: It felt right down to our core values, and so
• 7:19
  Speaker 5: we advocated together in order to the simple goal of
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: this baby.
• 7:25
  Speaker 6: And so it was beautiful through the whole journey. It
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: was amazing.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: Really.
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: I knew going in that the child was not mine,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: but I was a part of this journey to help
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: somebody have what I have so luckily, and it was
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: one of the most amazing life changing things that I
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: could or experiences I've ever had. Watching Jessica and her
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: husband Frank tangibly become mom and dad. They were always
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: mom and dad. They were before me. They were always
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: meant to be mom and dad. And so when Olivia
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: was born and Jessica was able to catch Libya and
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: skin to skin right away, it literally felt like I
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: was fulfilling a purpose that was bigger than myself. And
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: my husband was there with me, and we wouldn't have
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: changed anything. We are so honored and grateful to be
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: a part of their family growing.
• 8:18
  Speaker 6: But you're right, they're always.
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: Mom and dad before I was, you know, somebody just
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: helping out and being the oven, if you will.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: But it was a.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: Beautiful experience for me because I grew and my family
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: grew and we grew closer together, so we benefited as
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: well in that sense.
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: While watching and helping somebody else have a family.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: Like ours, I love that and I think that's a
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: beautiful thing.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: And I was watching something where I saw a woman
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: that was one of her sister to basically help her
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: and her husband have a baby, and it ended up
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: being a jealousy thing because of the insecurity of it all.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: And that's the flip side of it.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: When you have some women that get into this not
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: understanding the.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Full how this is going to be. This person is
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: carrying that.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: So say, for example, your eggs are not viable and
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: you're using your sister's eggs or another person's eggs, and
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: you have to realize, this is his biological child and
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: it's not your biological child. As far as maneuvering that,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: what would you recommend to a couple in that situation
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: as far as surrogacy is concerned, because that's a whole
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: nother entity. When it's not your eggs, it's someone else's eggs,
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: and you're seeing this connection between the husband and this woman.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: As far as carrying that.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Baby, how would you maneuver them through that type of
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: situation that would happen?
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: Well, I think a couple of things. I think it's
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: more for the surrogate to be closely bonded with the mother.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: It's not as common for even if it was not
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: the mother's egg and still the husband's sperm, you're usually
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: not seeing that type of relationship dynamic where the mom
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: is not as close to the sarrogate. That's usually where
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: that bond really comes in with the heterosexual couple. So
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: you're not seeing that and that would not be one
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: of my forefront concerns. So I think that would be
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: one of the myths that I that you hear so
• 10:29
  Speaker 4: often that there's this like jealousy or whatnot. It truly
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: can be beautiful, but I think it lies really in
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: the connection at the forefront. So yes, not going based
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: off of like, oh my gosh, they're related to me,
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: so this is the best option, or they're the closest
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: to me, but really finding your core beliefs and values
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: and then finding that person on the journey to walk
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: that with you, guys, because then you're not having this
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: jealousy because they're so different or different dynamic and having
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: to advocate instead of together again each other, and that
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: can really make or break the journey overall.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's why I think that's important, because this
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: is a whole different, you know, connection, and I feel
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: like putting those things on the table, making sure that
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: you're choosing someone that has your best interest and doing
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: what's best for you as far as this baby, because
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: that is an emotional time and a very stressful time,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: and you really want to make sure this baby is
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: coming into the world not only healthy, but also love
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: through the pregnancy. And you know, I say to a
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: lot of women that it is a thought that goes
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: through your head. But at the same time, you have
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: to be very diligent in who you choose as that
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: person that's going to be the person carrying your child.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: Make sure they've done it before, make sure they've had
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: the experiences, Sure that you know your paperwork and everything
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: is in place, so it's understood that when this baby
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: is born, this baby is going to be to that
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: that person.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: And I think that's that's important, and you.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Know, it's it's it's it's one of those things where
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: it goes everything goes both ways. But I feel like
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: that it can be done in a beautiful way to
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: where it doesn't come down to that. And it's no
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: different than beat your fertilization and you're carrying a baby
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: and a woman goes in and says, I'm a single
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: I'm a single woman. I just want to have a baby.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: And you don't know who the father is. You're vetting
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: very carefully. So how do you recommend that a person
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: should vet the person that is going to be their surrogant.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: What would you think would be those qualifications that you
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: think are important.
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well you're and have your base qualifications that you
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: would follow to even become a surrogate, right, and there's
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: the ASRM guidelines that they've had to be pregnant before, healthy,
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: certain age, all of those things. So once you kind
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: of take that into account, then I would really go
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: based off religion, lifestyle. What does your lifestyle look like?
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: Is it healthier lifestyle, more natural lifestyle? You know, termination
• 13:24
  Speaker 4: stance usually falls under usually their religion. They kind of
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: all trickle down into a funnel. And so I think
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: if you miss those key factors, that can cause a
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: lot of bumps in the journey. So that starting there,
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: and imagine like finding someone exactly to carry, like how
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: you would want to carry, you know, And that's how
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: I would envision that.
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: Okay, yes, it's a very intimate process. So think of
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: finding a spouse or a partner. You know, you have
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: to align on some foundation in order to grow together.
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: It's very much similar when you're thinking of that, because
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: it is again a child and you want, like you
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: were saying, that child to be loved and cared for.
• 14:07
  Speaker 6: So it's not just having somebody make sure your kid, you.
• 14:09
  Speaker 5: Know, survives at the end of the day, it's really
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: pouring into that and doing like Jessica said, what she
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: would have done was one of the big things I
• 14:18
  Speaker 5: wanted to know. I said, what did this pregnancy? You know,
• 14:21
  Speaker 5: what would this look like for you if you were caring.
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: Let's see how I can make sure we together, we
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: can make that happen.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's when you can really tell when experience
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: goes from like truly someone who isn't transactional into someone
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: whose heart led and really wants that connection with the
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: intended parents and vice versa, because that journey is just
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: it's truly shared.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: Amanda checked on me like every step of the way,
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: every step to make sure I was comfortable and what
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: I envisioned down to small details, down to large details
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: of how we birthed my daughter at my house and
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: did a home birth, and so everything was so thoughtful
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: and kind to make sure that everybody was involved and
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: Amanda was comfortable, and you know that's important.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: And it also with the eating and taking care of
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: yourself and all of those things too. So they do
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: a screening on everything, testing the like any type of
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: genetics or anything. When it comes to like any disabilities,
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: any like cancer, anything that is of genetics. They do
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: that as well.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: Correct as far as for those things, yeah, it really
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: depends on where the intended parents are comfortable, you know,
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: with that, So they offer PGT testing. I did not
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: want to test. I already felt for me that like
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: when you get pregnant the natural way, you don't get
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: to pick and choose. And so I was like, okay,
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: I'm already I feel like personally, I was just already like, okay,
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: I'm kind of playing god a little bit. I don't
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: want to do it anymore. So if I was going
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: to do this in the natural way, I again I
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: I didn't choose. So I felt like I didn't want
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: to test. Even when you don't test, they still grade
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: the embryos and then you can see from the strongest
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: embryo and down. And so what we did was so
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: we didn't no gender. I just said I want to
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: put in the strongest embryo the best chance of survival,
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: and that was my daughter and so super healthy in
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: all the things. But I just I prayed on it,
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: and that's where I felt like I wanted to be.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: So intended parents have that choice whether they want to
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: test or not.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, So when it came to the eggs, they were
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: from you or were they from Amanda?
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: No?
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: No, Amanda was a gestational carrier, which means that she
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: has no DNA connection to the baby. For our circumstance,
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: there is traditional surrogates where it is their egg and
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: whether it be the IP sperm or donated sperm, there
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: could be multiple factors with that, but for our case particular,
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Amanda was a GC and so it was my husband's
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: sperm and my egg that maybe embryo.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I love that.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: And like I said, the fact that you two created
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: this company, tell me a little bit about the company
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: and how it works as far as helping surrogans, helping
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: women that are trying to have children.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Because this is just such a beautiful story.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: So how did you guys come together and say, let's
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: bring this whole entire thing together to help other people
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: through their journeys.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, well it really started when Jessica and I were
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: going through our journey. We went independent, and every step
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: of the way we looked at each other like, wait,
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: that was it. That's so much easier than is perceived.
• 17:40
  Speaker 5: So we talked about when we built during the pregnancy
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: Little Seed Match and that is a space where it's
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: a supported independent matching surrogacy platform, so intended parents and
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: surrogates can fill out their profiles themselves. They can communicate
• 17:58
  Speaker 5: and connect directly with each other. So really what we're
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: doing is taking away the middleman that is traditionally in
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: the agency model where they're part of phone calls and
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: they kind of play telephone back and forth, and so
• 18:10
  Speaker 5: this gives the autonomy back to not only the intended parents,
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: but the surrogates as well.
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, And now there's transparency. So when you
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: use a traditional model, you never really know how many
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: sarrogates they have or how many IPS they have. When
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: they join in this platform, they can see everybody and
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: see those connections. So there's nobody hand picking for you.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: I felt from an IP standpoint. Amanda brings so much
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: knowledge with this. From a saragate standpoint, She's like, it
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: is strange that in one of the most important journeys
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: that you're going to walk in life, that somebody picks
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: for you, Like, we wouldn't take that for a spouse.
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: Why all of a sudden, as are we accepting this
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: for someone to carry our child when the person barely
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: knows us, you know, and so we have lost that
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: human connection, and that's where we're bringing this back.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, I love that.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: So is this also connected with the OGB y ms
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: as far as the people that are being chosen for
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: these particular procedures, because I'm just trying to figure out
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: what the connection between that because this is so new.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So, way before they even get into platform, they're
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: screened so they can Again, they have to follow the
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: ASRM guidelines to even be a sarrogate. So we follow that,
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: which looks again age BMI, healthy pregnancies, how many pregnancies,
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: all of those things, certain amount of C sections. So
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: there's very strict regulations that go into it. And then
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: we do a readiness evaluation where we really deep dive
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: making sure they're prepared and what that looks like. We
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: do a home evaluation, we walk through to make sure
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: everything's safe, and then they have their OBI clearance and
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: then they are onboarded so they do go through, oh
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: and background identities, sex offender check. All these things have
• 20:01
  Speaker 4: to be done before they can just onboard and see anyone.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: So that way everyone feels safe in the community. Everyone
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: knows that who's in there is not only serious, but
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: able to be a surrogate. Now it's going to come
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: down to where it comes into personality and all those
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: core values. So that kind of takes that weight off
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: of those attended parents knowing that they're already pre screened.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: And then from there also their clinic regulation. So clinics
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: sometimes will tighten up the reins even tighter than the guidelines,
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: and so every clinic is different and that's why in
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: those profiles they can see all those details and then
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: they can make the best decision.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: I love this because it's so different because back in
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: the day, you would go in and you would say, okay,
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: I want someone to carry the baby, and like you said,
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: someone else picked for you, and you really did not
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: get a chance to build a relationship with that person.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: Whereas your company, it's.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: More so you get to go on this website, you
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: get to look at everybody, you get to have a
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: conversation with this person. You get to have that connection
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: of knowing this person and building that connection with that.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Person before this baby is even conceived.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: And I think that that is important because again, how
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: the surrogan feels about the person I think determines how
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: everything is going to turn out.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: I think that's very important.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: And I love what you ladies are doing because you're
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: bridging the gap and you're taking.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: This whole entire journey.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: And that's why I say the healing journey is so
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: very complicated, because I tell people, it's not always where
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: you go through something and you're like, oh my god,
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: I can't do it. Somebody may have to come in
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: and assist you with that journey, but it still doesn't
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: mean that it's not still yours, the other person who's
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: just walking with you through this journey. And so for
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: your journey of not being able to have children and
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: then Amanda, you coming in and giving her such a
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: beautiful gift, I think that was your way of healing
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: her because you gave her this beautiful, beautiful baby that
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: she's now raising. And the work that you're doing and
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: being a surrogant, you're helping so many women that are
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: saying this is the end, I may.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: Not ever have another child.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: You're healing them because they're getting to see that whole
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: entire process and they're with.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: You alone the journey.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: You and so many others that are giving women a beautiful,
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: beautiful gift and they're healing from it. And even though
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: it wasn't they didn't go through it physically, they went
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: through the emotional and spiritual part of it. And I
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: tell people that sometimes you don't have to always be
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: the person that does it, but through someone else giving
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: you a gift, and such a beautiful gift, it's not
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: something you take lightly or something that you don't take
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: for granted. And I think it's very beautiful what you
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: have given her as far as this journey. So how
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: do you feel the fact that you're helping so many
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: women to give them such a precious gift and also
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: letting them feel like they're a part of it, so
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: even though they're not going through it, they're a part
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: of it. Yeah.
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: I really think it comes down to, again the alignment
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: to connection. I did not want that transactional feel and
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: so I'm not sure and part of the impact of
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: Little Seed matches showing you it doesn't need to be
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: that way. If you want that human connection, if you
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: want to know the parents, if you want to FaceTime
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: I'm in text message and have that relationship, then maybe
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: that traditional model is not for that. Sarahgate and so
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: a lot of times I feel like Sarah Gate's with
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: that myth of not of having a connection and you know,
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: kind of wanting that baby or it comes because they
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: don't have that foundation relationship with the mother Jessica, and
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: I feel like I gained a sister more so than
• 24:26
  Speaker 5: a daughter. If you would say, it's very beautiful watching
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: them grow as a family and have Olivia. I have
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: no pull or anything along that because of the relationship
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: I have with Jessica be different than what we grew
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: with Little Seed match just our core together. I would
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: have been friends with her if this was not the
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: case of Saragacy. With her, we still would have hung
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: out and we connect on that level. And so I
• 24:51
  Speaker 5: think that's what made it really beautiful. And so what
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: I really would love, Sarahgates or someone thinking about being
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: as Saragate is really looking at and being heart led,
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: wanting the compassion to say and see and help somebody
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: have and grow their family.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I think that's.
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: Amazing and that it's an opportunity that's there.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: And I and I and that's what I'm That's what
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: I say.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: When you're giving, I feel like that some of us
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: are just giving people or just compassionate people, and that's
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: just what we're.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Put on this earth to be and become.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: And I think that it's beautiful when I see people
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: that give something that they have because they feel like
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: they want someone else to experience that particular thing. And
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I think that, you know, you shouldn't look at it,
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: as I always say now when something happens and I
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: don't get treated the same way I said. I did
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: it for the right reasons. I did it because that
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: was something at the time I felt that was right.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: And I don't take it back because I always say
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: the blessings you get for what you give will be
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: more than what was taken. And I think for both
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: of you, ladies, I commend both of you for not
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: only your beautiful journey, but also the fact that you
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: guys are still connected and it shows that even having
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: a baby, you both can still be connected, still be
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: very much a part of this little girl's life and
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: being able to also give that space to say she's
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: the mother, but I'm still very much a part of
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: having that close relationship with the mother. So I definitely
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: absolutely love this and I love you, ladies for taking
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: the time to even talking to me about this because
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: I think it's something that needs to be talked about
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: because I want women that cannot have children to know
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: that they're are other options and there are other possibilities,
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: and that women that are single mothers or like I said,
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: people that are two men two women have the option
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: of saying I want to have a child, I want
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: to have a family. I want to and that even
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: though it's non traditional, it's still bringing a beautiful gift
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: into the world.
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, it's amazing. And I say, people that
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: walk this journey and they like, these kids are so loved,
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: like so wanted. So imagine like anybody who walks this
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: is not usually the path of chosen really per se, right,
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: and so we have to go through so many hoops.
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: So we talked about that all the time, Like those
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: who walk this like they really want a family, like
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: they really really want these kids are going to be
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: so loved, you know, which makes it beautiful.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: I love I love that and I appreciate you ladies
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: for taking the time to do this with me. And
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: I mean, this was just a very beautiful conversation. And
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: I thank you both for doing this because thank you,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: you know, the information you guys are giving, and the
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: way you're helping so many people I think is very
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: commendable and is a part of the Higher powers work.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: And I hope you ladies continue to do that. Helped
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: so many women healing through this journey of not being
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: able to have children and to be able to know
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: that even though you didn't deliver the baby, but you're
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: through the journey and you get to have this beautiful
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: person coming into your arms, and you're having someone to
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: love and to raise, And it doesn't matter how this
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: child got here. What matters is you were there through
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: the journey. You're the one that dictated how you wanted
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: it to be. So you still went through the journey
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: even though you didn't visit go through it, because not
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: everything is always a physical journey. Sometimes it's emotional, sometimes
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: it's mental, but it still leads to the same ending
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: no matter what. So how can people reach you if
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: they're interested in learning more about surrogacy or being a
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: circuit How can they reach you, guys?
• 29:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And so we have our website little seedmatch dot
• 29:29
  Speaker 6: com and if you scroll to the bottom, there will
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: be reserve for a consultation with Jessica and I and
• 29:37
  Speaker 6: we also have our Instagram which is a little seed match.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much, ladies.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: I greatly appreciate it, and I hope you guys you're welcome,
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: and I hope you guys enjoy this episode and until
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: next time, we will talk soon.
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you, lady, I appreciate.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much, and give me just one second
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: and you guys have a very beautiful day.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you, you two