Latest / CALL ME MISTRESS / SIT ON MY FACE

Transcript

SIT ON MY FACE · CALL ME MISTRESS

• 0:08
  Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Mistress Mia's
• 0:11
  Dungeon. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia,
• 0:13
  and you know the Barbie. Hello.
• 0:18
  I like that. Thank you.
• 0:20
  I'm going to do. A little duet.
• 0:22
  I Can't Sing. Liar.
• 0:24
  I know you can sing. No, I.
• 0:26
  Can't everyone's? No, I can't.
• 0:27
  We gotta. If we go to karaoke, I'll prove
• 0:29
  it to you. OK, you prove it to me.
• 0:31
  My favorite thing to do is I'll go up there and I'll sing I need
• 0:34
  a hero, but I'm not a good singer, so I subject everyone to
• 0:37
  4 1/2 minutes of me yelling so. Is I need a hero?
• 0:41
  Oh. I need a hero.
• 0:44
  I think the song is actually 5 minutes and there is like a 45
• 0:47
  second like interlude. Oh my God, fuck.
• 0:54
  OK, maybe I don't want to go to karaoke with me.
• 0:56
  No you don't. I cause problems.
• 0:59
  I haven't been back to my usual karaoke spot in a few weeks
• 1:02
  because the karaoke girl got mad at me because I accidentally
• 1:05
  touched her speaker and I'm nervous to go back.
• 1:07
  Oh shit. I didn't know it was a speaker.
• 1:10
  I thought it was a wooden pillar, so I grabbed it.
• 1:12
  She's like, get your hands off my speaker.
• 1:14
  And I was like, Oh my God, girl, I'm just a girl.
• 1:21
  No, but it's OK, I'll go back one day.
• 1:24
  Wow, Wow. OK, so Tony, he wrote me an
• 1:31
  e-mail. Yeah, he, I'm going to skip a
• 1:36
  couple of things because we were talking about meeting at some
• 1:39
  point. Yeah, because I'm going right
• 1:40
  through his area. Oh yeah.
• 1:42
  I'm also going to be seeing Steve in October as well.
• 1:46
  I know that there's parts where you really haven't listened to
• 1:49
  all of the episodes because it's 300 episodes, a lot to catch up
• 1:52
  on. But there's this guy Steve.
• 1:54
  He went through a really difficult time in his life and
• 2:01
  he had kind of fallen into the trap of fake Doms.
• 2:05
  Oh. Yeah, and gave them money and
• 2:07
  and then his family resented him and then his wife left him and
• 2:10
  then they're separating. Oh, my gosh.
• 2:12
  And he's dealt with, you know, two kids that are adult
• 2:15
  children. Disowned him and left him
• 2:17
  because of the fake doms. No, no, no.
• 2:20
  But it's more or less like it's gotten to the point where they
• 2:25
  really had a lot of. It was other stuff.
• 2:28
  Yeah, they had a lot of. Different.
• 2:29
  That didn't help it. No, it did not.
• 2:31
  But I told Steve that I'd meet him, and, you know, he started
• 2:33
  his own podcast. I think, I think you mentioned
• 2:37
  that it's like Steve, Steve's yes, subspace was, that's what
• 2:41
  it was. And, you know, he does stories
• 2:43
  and, you know, he's an avid listener of our show.
• 2:46
  That's nice. And, you know, he's just a nice
• 2:49
  guy. He's a very nice guy.
• 2:51
  And I think a lot of our listeners are nice people that
• 2:54
  just want a good laugh, you know?
• 2:56
  But Tony says, I love that you and Barbie are getting together
• 3:00
  on the podcast. Yay.
• 3:02
  I told you before I loved hearing you talk shop.
• 3:05
  I'm in. I'm in the middle of your second
• 3:07
  episode as I write this. Currently stuck in the line at
• 3:10
  the DMV. So sorry, he said.
• 3:13
  Help me. God, just hearing you utter my
• 3:15
  name is the presence of Barbie in the presence of Barbie made
• 3:21
  me so happy. He's like, I want to apologize
• 3:23
  on behalf of all men. I hate hearing your horror
• 3:26
  stories. I hate that people men can be so
• 3:31
  inconsiderate. Please do not hesitate to put me
• 3:34
  in place if I'm ever rude, annoying, or bothersome in any
• 3:40
  way towards you. I try my hardest to be
• 3:42
  respectful of you, your time, and the work you do.
• 3:45
  I hope you have a fun weekend planned and I wish you no drama
• 3:48
  in the dungeon. Oh God, Tony.
• 3:51
  I love you. That's so sweet, Tony.
• 3:54
  It's been a rough week. They really, Tony, it's it's
• 3:57
  been a very difficult week. And, you know, I'm pushing
• 4:00
  through, but it's going to be Barbie and I from this point on.
• 4:07
  And, you know, we'll have guests and there's a lot of people that
• 4:10
  actually want to come back on our show.
• 4:14
  To interview, Yeah, because I started not really an interview.
• 4:17
  I just kind of just was on an episode.
• 4:19
  That's kind of what I did. And we filmed once and it turned
• 4:22
  into three episodes. Because I'm a professional
• 4:24
  yapper. Well, something that Barbie
• 4:27
  doesn't know, and I'm going to go ahead and say it now, is
• 4:29
  we're going to do a few things different on Fucked Up Friday.
• 4:34
  We're going to be doing something that is will be
• 4:36
  beneficial to a lot of people and we're going to basically
• 4:39
  teach technique on certain things.
• 4:42
  And I think that some of them will be PG and others will be,
• 4:47
  you know, other will be really nasty so.
• 4:49
  Yeah, you perverts. Yeah, we love our fucking
• 4:52
  perverts. So before we get into the topic
• 4:57
  of this today, I will say that Barbie and I were in the dungeon
• 5:00
  today and we did a scene. We did.
• 5:02
  We did. And this guy said to Barbie, say
• 5:07
  it, Barbie, just go ahead and tell.
• 5:08
  Them I forgot. No, no, no.
• 5:11
  He said to you, he's like, would you just sit in my face while I
• 5:14
  while I play with your feet? And she's like, I don't.
• 5:18
  Do that, but I'm not a there fan.
• 5:21
  Yeah. Mia's there, you go ahead and
• 5:23
  ask her. She might coordinate something
• 5:25
  with you. And you know, I was wearing my
• 5:26
  black PVC pants, which Brie fucking about came on herself
• 5:30
  when she saw me in the love Brie.
• 5:32
  Yeah, So I went and I, the guy sat on the floor.
• 5:37
  He's leaned up against the couch.
• 5:39
  Barbie is touching his Dick with her feet.
• 5:43
  Stepping on it. Stepping on it and he's playing
• 5:46
  with his little Dick and I just stood there, leaned back and
• 5:51
  gave him a nice mouthful of my ass and PVC pants.
• 5:55
  Plastic ass right there. Plastic ass, yes.
• 5:58
  Well, you know, I think that just brings up the topic of like
• 6:01
  every Dom is different and different Doms are comfortable
• 6:04
  with different things. Like I know there's Doms that
• 6:07
  work for you that don't mind certain things where others do,
• 6:10
  where for me personally I it might be because I'm newer to
• 6:14
  doing it, but I know I prefer not to.
• 6:15
  Like I don't really want a lot of touching.
• 6:18
  Like it's more about for me, it's about the person I'm
• 6:20
  working. For you went slopper on your
• 6:21
  feet, as you said to the guy before at the public dungeon.
• 6:25
  Yeah, exactly. And so like in the dungeon, like
• 6:28
  today, for example, when he's like, can you put your ass in my
• 6:32
  face? I, I said no because like, you
• 6:35
  know, that's not really something I'm interested in
• 6:37
  doing. It's a boundary for me.
• 6:39
  But I think also it depends on what I'm wearing.
• 6:41
  And I wear like mini skirts with like underwear.
• 6:43
  So it would be like really like invasive for for me to put my
• 6:48
  ass in his face. I mean, maybe if I was wearing
• 6:50
  something like you were like PVC leggings and like, maybe I'd
• 6:54
  consider it. But like I'm like, no, my Kitty
• 6:55
  cat's almost out. Like I can't have you that close
• 6:58
  to it you. Had to air that shit out during
• 7:00
  summertime. It's hot out.
• 7:02
  I got big guys. I need all the ventilation I can
• 7:05
  get. No, but yeah, I mean cuz like
• 7:08
  you have, you have Doms that work with you that are, you know
• 7:11
  more open to different. Things you're carefree about a
• 7:14
  lot of stuff. And I think, like you said, I
• 7:16
  think the older you get, my women over 40, they're kind of
• 7:20
  just like, yeah, you want me to suffocate you with my titties?
• 7:22
  Sure. I don't know.
• 7:24
  I have titties but I don't think I got enough for suffocating.
• 7:27
  Trust me, you always have enough titties for suffocating.
• 7:33
  In his nose. Those are tits.
• 7:37
  Yeah, yeah, it's me plugging the silicone ones out of the
• 7:42
  cabinet. Or you can do the fun thing that
• 7:44
  I always did to my husband. He was just like, I want you to
• 7:47
  sit on my face. But he loves the feel of
• 7:49
  plastic. So I would I would always take
• 7:53
  like a Walmart bag and put the Walmart bag on his head and then
• 7:57
  sit on him with my bare pussy. Just saying.
• 8:00
  So you could do that to Little Boy Toy this week.
• 8:05
  He's really into suffocation. Exactly.
• 8:08
  I will say the other day he, he, he has real big dreams.
• 8:12
  And sometimes I have to shoot his dreams down because of
• 8:16
  experience and practicality. But he texted me and he was
• 8:19
  like, I want you to put me in the vac bed, which if you don't
• 8:23
  know what the vac bed is, it's like a giant Ziploc bag.
• 8:25
  You get in and we suck all the air out of it.
• 8:27
  It's made of latex. And he's like, I want you to put
• 8:30
  me in the vac bed and I want you to get on top and I want you to
• 8:34
  choke me out. And then like I'll come to still
• 8:38
  in the back bed. And I had to tell him I was like
• 8:41
  1, I can't get on top of the back bed, It'll damage it. 2,
• 8:45
  when you're in the back bed, I won't be able to tell when you
• 8:48
  black out because there's only one little pea sized hole that
• 8:51
  you can breathe out of. So you just black out.
• 8:54
  I wouldn't even know. I'm like, how am I supposed to
• 8:57
  make sure you're OK? Also, I've never even knocked
• 8:59
  someone out before. So I was like, look, this is a
• 9:00
  little out of my pay grade dude. I got to get a little bit more
• 9:03
  experience under my belt. Maybe I'll knock you out outside
• 9:07
  of the back bed or something like that, right?
• 9:09
  That was a little, that was a little scary.
• 9:11
  Like the idea of like choking someone till they pass out is
• 9:14
  scary for me. Like I'm not opposed to trying
• 9:17
  it, but I am just like, damn, what if I get into felony right
• 9:20
  now? That's what I get nervous of.
• 9:23
  Like I sometimes I get scared. I'm like, I don't want to
• 9:25
  actually hurt somebody in a way they don't want me to.
• 9:28
  But what I've realized, a lot of these bitches want me to hurt
• 9:30
  them harder. Well, you know, lucky for me,
• 9:34
  like I always told my husband, is that at this point in our
• 9:38
  lives, are we going to be doing this shit when we're 70 or 80
• 9:42
  and I have to explain to the police how I killed you, You.
• 9:46
  Know. And then I'm going to be like,
• 9:47
  look, we're going to take as many pictures and videos as you
• 9:49
  fucking want, 'cause this will be my proof.
• 9:52
  I feel like it happens more than I feel like if the police
• 9:55
  probably get calls like that more than you'd think.
• 9:57
  Oh yeah. Like, I feel like auto erotic
• 9:59
  asphyxiation probably gets more people than they'd like to
• 10:02
  admit. Like the ER people.
• 10:05
  A cousin of mine, she used to work in the ER and she says half
• 10:10
  of her calls are just people with things stuck up their ass.
• 10:14
  Oh, yeah. So guys, a flared base is so
• 10:16
  important. If you don't want to go to the
• 10:19
  hospital with something up your ass, use a flared base.
• 10:22
  Or just buy a sex toy if you want something up your ass that
• 10:25
  bad. And she said they'd always make
• 10:27
  excuses like, oh, I slipped in the shower and landed on it.
• 10:31
  They always. They always.
• 10:34
  Not a porno, what are we talking about?
• 10:38
  It was just really funny. I know, I think Eminem actually
• 10:41
  says it in his song. What did you do?
• 10:43
  Trip, slip, fall, land on his Dick.
• 10:47
  Yeah, yes. I love you, Marshall Mathers.
• 10:49
  Just saying. But yeah, you know, that's some
• 10:53
  funny shit. So Barbie and I were actually
• 10:54
  going to talk about Fetlife today because there's a lot of
• 10:58
  people that they don't really know what Fetlife is.
• 11:01
  Yeah. And you know or how it works.
• 11:03
  Or how it works. It took me a minute to even
• 11:05
  figure out what was going. On So tell us, what was your
• 11:09
  first experience? So a long time ago when I was
• 11:13
  like 19, maybe 18, I was pretty young.
• 11:18
  I was talking to a Co worker and we worked at it like a pet place
• 11:22
  and there was this giant bedazzled pink collar.
• 11:25
  And I said I like that. But I was like I like that in a
• 11:29
  fashion sense. And she's like, I like that in
• 11:31
  the way I want to be pulled around by that.
• 11:34
  So we got in the top the topic of kink.
• 11:36
  So I'm a virgin. I don't know anything about it,
• 11:39
  but like, you know, I've read like fan fiction, so I think I
• 11:42
  know shit and this woman's just telling me things and I'm like,
• 11:46
  how do you find this? And she told me about Fetlife.
• 11:49
  Well, I made an account that night and I got on there and
• 11:53
  little, like I think I, I think I was 18, little 18 on here.
• 11:56
  It freaked me out 'cause I had no clue how it worked and there
• 11:59
  was probably still an account out there 'cause I didn't delete
• 12:02
  it. I just never, I just abandoned
• 12:04
  it. There's an account out there
• 12:05
  with my actual name on it and a picture of me from like six
• 12:09
  years ago, I think. And I, I might try to find it.
• 12:12
  That'd be really funny. I report it so I can take it
• 12:15
  down, but I abandoned it and then I didn't get it again until
• 12:19
  I was like 22. And then that was when I told
• 12:23
  the story, I think a podcast or two ago where I just randomly
• 12:26
  redownloaded Fet and then found an event and just went there
• 12:29
  like immediately. So both times were kind of
• 12:32
  impulsive. But I'm more active on Fet now
• 12:35
  than I ever have. And I will say it took me a
• 12:37
  minute to understand the app formatting and understand like,
• 12:40
  oh, this is like my homepage and this is where we find things.
• 12:44
  And the only thing that's different about fet than like
• 12:48
  than other social media is that they don't really have like an
• 12:51
  explorer or a like a for you page.
• 12:54
  So anything you want to find, you have to go find it yourself.
• 12:58
  So it's not like things are going to get suggested to you,
• 13:00
  which I think that's the only big difference.
• 13:02
  So like, really it's, it's a very intentional app.
• 13:05
  You have to go search for what you want.
• 13:07
  But I do think it's fun and it's, it's easy to like, you
• 13:10
  know, know what people are interested in.
• 13:12
  You can go to their profile and read their fetishes.
• 13:15
  I always think it's fun, you know, like I meet a new person
• 13:17
  in the scene to go to their profile and read what they're
• 13:20
  into and read what they write and see what photos.
• 13:23
  Because you can learn a lot about somebody and like their
• 13:26
  experience in the kink community by what they post, you know?
• 13:30
  Yeah, I really think so, too. I think that people don't
• 13:33
  realize, too, how they represent themselves.
• 13:36
  Yeah. Because immediately a lot of
• 13:38
  people are just like, Oh yeah, I'm going to post this picture
• 13:40
  and this picture, and that's my story about that.
• 13:42
  Yeah. And we're like, whoa, whoa, you
• 13:45
  know a lot of guys. I think there's an artistic way
• 13:48
  to post Dick pictures. And then there's there's ways
• 13:52
  that don't go very well. There's ways that are terrifying
• 13:55
  to look. At you know, and again, I say
• 13:57
  this, there's only 18% women who listen to this podcast.
• 14:01
  So all these other men I'm taking, please, I'm going to
• 14:06
  give the advice to you. When you take a Dick picture,
• 14:09
  don't include your asshole in that picture.
• 14:13
  Flash probably isn't going to work if you're sweaty.
• 14:15
  No, it's not and it needs to be. Women are more turned on by the
• 14:21
  illusion and the mystery of it. So like even the top maybe where
• 14:26
  it bends a little bit, maybe that's a little peeling, you
• 14:29
  know, they show a bit, a little of the tummy.
• 14:31
  I'd say, you know, like personally, sometimes I find
• 14:34
  just not an actual Dick picture sexier like like a picture, like
• 14:39
  some of the stuff I've seen where like when a guy has his
• 14:41
  underwear like halfway down, like what you say that's hot or
• 14:44
  like sexy guy that we talk about from parties.
• 14:47
  His only picture on fet with a while is just a picture of his
• 14:50
  bulge, not even out. And I was out and I'm like, and
• 14:53
  you can tell it's a big Dick. You don't even got to show it
• 14:55
  off. You're like, there it is.
• 14:57
  And I also think like, look at what's in the background and
• 15:00
  that goes for everybody. Oh my God, I've seen.
• 15:01
  Some nudes on fet and I'm like I can see your entire kitchen sink
• 15:06
  on the background like like like a mess to.
• 15:09
  Bathroom pictures, The bedroom pictures put shit on the floor.
• 15:13
  Right down your mirror like before you post things.
• 15:16
  Anytime I've taken a picture in my dirty room and I do have a
• 15:20
  dirty room, I crop it in. I crop out my mess I love.
• 15:26
  How you like, freely admit. This I do.
• 15:28
  I'm a big fan of the floor drobe, so I keep all my clothes
• 15:31
  on the floor. That way I can walk on them and
• 15:34
  then be upset that they're dirty when I need to wear them.
• 15:37
  Because I love making my life harder for myself, of course.
• 15:39
  You do. It's also great when my giant
• 15:41
  pit bulls sleep on my black clothes and then now there's
• 15:44
  white hairs all over it. I don't you love.
• 15:46
  That love that so much love that for me, you know, but yeah, I'd
• 15:52
  say like just really like look at the pictures and go like,
• 15:55
  like just look at what's going on in it.
• 15:57
  Like do you have dirt in the background?
• 15:58
  Is your mirror all messed up 'cause I will say there's.
• 16:01
  I've seen sexy pictures of ladies but when the mirror
• 16:04
  you're taking a picture and it's covered in toothpaste.
• 16:07
  OK, so we're both by. Yeah.
• 16:10
  OK. Happy pride.
• 16:12
  Thank you. Do you find it sexy, though?
• 16:14
  I I don't like this at all. I don't like when women spread
• 16:17
  their vagina. I think there's a time and a
• 16:20
  place for it. I personally I think the time
• 16:23
  and place is in person. I thank.
• 16:26
  You OK? All right, I think you can take
• 16:28
  cute pussy pics, but I do think that I feel like that's just
• 16:33
  something like I personally wouldn't post it.
• 16:35
  It's so. Personal.
• 16:36
  It's so personal. Well, we, I'll tell you the
• 16:39
  story real quick. And me and like, you know this,
• 16:41
  but there was this girl that wanted to work in the dungeon
• 16:46
  and she's like really pretty, you know, she wanted to do it.
• 16:50
  She's really young. And so she comes in, she meets
• 16:53
  Mia and, you know, everything go, it goes.
• 16:57
  All right. You know, she could have been a
• 16:58
  bit more like, like taking a bit more.
• 17:01
  Yeah, a bit more initiative because like, when I talked to
• 17:03
  you about working in the dungeon, I was very forward.
• 17:06
  And when I met with you, you know, I asked a lot of questions
• 17:08
  and she kind of didn't do that to think she was just being shy.
• 17:12
  But she texts me later and she's like, what kind of picture
• 17:17
  should I put on my foot? And I was like, you know, make
• 17:20
  me you look cute. You can tease it.
• 17:22
  And I don't think I communicated right because I checked her
• 17:25
  foot. And hold on, hold on though, you
• 17:28
  took pictures with her. Yeah, in the dungeon in.
• 17:30
  The dungeon, so she had. Pictures that would have been
• 17:31
  perfect. Yeah, they were fully clothed.
• 17:34
  You did a little bit of rope. You did, you know?
• 17:36
  They were the rope pictures of her tied up might not have been
• 17:38
  the best because if she wants to be a Dom.
• 17:41
  But the picture was cute. I used it.
• 17:42
  I was gonna. Say, but it would have basically
• 17:45
  shown, hey, I can do rope, yeah, you know, and you could have
• 17:48
  cropped your face out, just saying.
• 17:50
  But I go back to her profile like a day or two later and and
• 17:55
  she had posted them all at once. She had posted like 15 photos of
• 17:59
  her like completely naked and like that's fine.
• 18:03
  Oh, and sucking. Dick, it was a picture of her
• 18:05
  getting fucked from the back, a picture of her sucking.
• 18:07
  Dick. It was a picture.
• 18:09
  I think she posted a spread picture too.
• 18:11
  And I mean, she's gorgeous. She looked amazing, but I had to
• 18:14
  text her and I'm like, hey, like that makes you look more like a
• 18:17
  porn star or a constant or like, yeah, well, especially if you're
• 18:21
  working somewhere, you can't post that.
• 18:23
  I mean, if you're an only fans girl, post it.
• 18:25
  Make your money, babe. Also, I had to tell her don't
• 18:27
  post that for free. Don't, don't post your pussy for
• 18:30
  free, guys, Right. You're gonna post.
• 18:31
  I mean, unless you're into that, but like, make some money off it
• 18:34
  if you're gonna post it. But yeah, she took it all down.
• 18:38
  And she was like, yeah, I had a feeling that was the case.
• 18:40
  I just thought it would help, like get me more traction.
• 18:43
  And I was like, it gets traction, not the traction you
• 18:45
  want. Though not the traction you
• 18:47
  want. And that's where I said that's
• 18:48
  not stuff we do in the dungeon. No, nobody's gonna suck your
• 18:50
  Dick. No one.
• 18:51
  This is BDSM. So the pictures were not BDSM.
• 18:55
  Yeah, and that's like, you know, I think she just didn't
• 18:57
  understand. And the difference between BDSM
• 19:01
  and porn, and I think some people don't, is that BDSM is
• 19:06
  inherently sexual, but it doesn't have to be sex or porn
• 19:10
  or nudity. You can go through my vet and
• 19:13
  there's not, I'm not naked on it.
• 19:15
  And it's not 'cause I judge people who are.
• 19:16
  I just my preference is I don't want to be naked online.
• 19:20
  I don't want people to be able to see that for free.
• 19:22
  And I think you have like, cute seductive pictures.
• 19:25
  Yeah, because the picture a little coy, they.
• 19:27
  Are and I and I think it's alluring in the sense that, hey,
• 19:31
  there's a lot of mystery and you're not going to see Barbie
• 19:33
  naked. You will never see Barbie naked.
• 19:35
  Yeah, these are the pictures that unless you're one of the
• 19:37
  few lucky winners, well, you know, it's weird is that on Fet
• 19:43
  certain pictures like don't do as well as you think they will.
• 19:45
  And then other ones do really well.
• 19:47
  Like that one photo of me you use on your website, the one
• 19:51
  where I'm in clown makeup, not the one of me sitting, but the
• 19:53
  one where I'm standing and I have the RIP Nets on and I look
• 19:56
  kind of scary. That's one of my most top like
• 19:59
  photos on Fet. It's a great photo.
• 20:01
  Yeah. As opposed to like a picture
• 20:02
  where like my ass is a little out or pictures where I look
• 20:04
  like real feminine. Like those pictures they get
• 20:07
  good likes but not compared to that one that one like.
• 20:10
  I want to say I was like quite a bit of likes for me.
• 20:12
  I have a smaller account, so it's not like I get like
• 20:15
  thousands of likes. But no, I was I was shocked that
• 20:18
  that one did as well because sometimes I get nervous that
• 20:21
  like the the scarier I look just won't be as appealing and just
• 20:25
  people just won't like it. But I don't know the few times
• 20:27
  I've posted looking like a little freak, Y'all?
• 20:29
  Purvis loved it. Right.
• 20:32
  I don't think there's any anything wrong with that because
• 20:35
  there's a lot of people that enjoy the sense of looking at a
• 20:39
  woman that is dressed in. Clown pain.
• 20:41
  I love clowns, you know, they love that beyond sexually.
• 20:44
  I just love clowns. And you know, Shaman Sinister
• 20:48
  smile. He's our great friend.
• 20:50
  I love Shaman, he tells me this story one time where he fucked a
• 20:55
  chick and she wanted him to wear his clown face mask and clown
• 21:01
  maybe. Completely understand her.
• 21:02
  Yeah, and. I'm more of a fan of not mask
• 21:06
  but like the actual makeup. I love a man in makeup.
• 21:08
  Maybe it was just the makeup, but I know that he was just
• 21:10
  like, yeah, she wanted me to wear.
• 21:11
  If a man who looked like Frankenfurter hit me up, it
• 21:14
  would be a wrap. I marry I would I love a man in
• 21:18
  shitty drag, but not modern shitty drag, but like that 80s
• 21:22
  like, you know, loose fitting corset.
• 21:24
  Oh, I love that like that kind of drag queen.
• 21:27
  The drag Queens nowadays, like I I'm I'm not the biggest fan of
• 21:31
  like them sexually, you know, but I like them older ones like
• 21:34
  that, that look like that old school kind.
• 21:36
  That's my favorite. So I'm gonna educate you.
• 21:39
  Educate you. Go for it, educate you. 3
• 21:42
  minutes old. But you know how you say this is
• 21:46
  goth? Goth is this is, this is the
• 21:49
  black, it's the spikes. It's all this.
• 21:51
  Well, let me tell you, back in the 80s, it was fucking punk.
• 21:55
  Well, yeah. And well, I think all the
• 21:58
  subcultures like back in the 80s, because I do know a lot
• 22:00
  about it, unfortunately, because my dad was a metal head.
• 22:04
  So we always, we always talk about like music history and
• 22:07
  stuff. And so it is funny how they were
• 22:09
  all born kind of in the same time around the same thing and
• 22:13
  there wasn't a big difference. But it is funny looking back
• 22:16
  now, there's a difference. So people who didn't like
• 22:19
  consider themselves goth, punk or even a metal head because I
• 22:21
  didn't really exist at the time nowadays would be categorized as
• 22:25
  like this, that and the 3rd. And I do think like modern goth
• 22:28
  is very different than like the 80s trad goth.
• 22:31
  I always, I love the 80s trad goth.
• 22:33
  I wish I was like, like I could pull that off.
• 22:36
  It's just not my style. Like rabbits.
• 22:38
  More of a trad goth with like that full like kind of.
• 22:42
  Yeah, and I'm totally lost with. That yeah, well, it's all, it's
• 22:45
  a music based subculture, but it is kind of flourished into now a
• 22:49
  fashion subculture where there's actually not a lot of goth music
• 22:54
  as you'd think. There is like there's a few like
• 22:56
  main bands that do a lot of cool stuff and of course there's new
• 22:59
  stuff being made, but honestly not a ton.
• 23:01
  And so there's not a lot of goth music, but there's a lot of goth
• 23:04
  fashion subculture now. And all these little losers like
• 23:07
  to argue about it online. That's awesome.
• 23:10
  They always like to call people. Same thing with punks.
• 23:13
  I was in the punk scene a while. They all like to argue about it.
• 23:15
  It's so annoying. I'm like, guys, we all can't get
• 23:18
  jobs so who cares? We're all not getting hired
• 23:21
  because we have piercings in our face.
• 23:22
  Let's just work together. That's awesome.
• 23:26
  But yeah, so back to fat, back to fat profiles, you know,
• 23:31
  there's a really a lot to say about that.
• 23:33
  And I think your profile reflects what you're looking
• 23:35
  for. And.
• 23:36
  If you I the one thing I will say that I don't understand is
• 23:40
  when I've had people hit me up being like, Hey, I love your
• 23:44
  like, they're not necessarily being gross, but they're like
• 23:47
  love your profile. I really like to get to know
• 23:50
  you. I would like to like potentially
• 23:52
  play. And of course, I don't really
• 23:53
  respond to people I don't know, but I'll click on their profile
• 23:56
  out of curiosity. No pictures, no description, no
• 24:00
  fetishes listed. It's an empty profile, no
• 24:02
  friends not following anyone. So one, I know you just made
• 24:05
  this or two, you don't actually like use your fet.
• 24:10
  And my question is, would any of y'all go meet a profile with no
• 24:14
  pictures on it And no, no listing, no nothing.
• 24:17
  Like what are you thinking when you message someone like that?
• 24:19
  Like it is it is basically it means nothing to me because I
• 24:22
  don't know who this is. You could be anybody.
• 24:24
  You could be anything. I if you have pictures of
• 24:27
  yourself, a small description like you don't have to post your
• 24:30
  face. But if you at least have a
• 24:31
  filled out profile, you are 10 times more likely to get people
• 24:36
  like responding to you and to get girls to like talk to you or
• 24:39
  to get guys or whoever you're trying to pull.
• 24:41
  But man, these blank. They'll hit you up being like,
• 24:44
  do you want to meet up? And I'm like, I don't even know
• 24:46
  if you're real. You could be a robot for all I
• 24:49
  know. You could be a fed.
• 24:51
  Unbelievable. You know, I I really hate on
• 24:54
  dating profiles and sometimes I see this on.
• 24:56
  Fed I hate dating profiles. They'll show the same pose but
• 25:00
  different outfits, same same type of picture, you know?
• 25:04
  And all you see is like the chest up.
• 25:06
  That's all you see. I, I will say I don't, I think
• 25:12
  sorry my, my brain farted really bad just then.
• 25:15
  No, but I think like, Oh my gosh, what was I about to say?
• 25:20
  When we're talking about profiles and basically.
• 25:23
  I feel like I just had an aneurysm.
• 25:24
  Wait, I'm so sorry. No, did you see the light leave
• 25:27
  my eyes? I did caught the thought I
• 25:31
  haven't eaten all day and I'm a little sleepy.
• 25:34
  So let's go back to this. We'll say this with that so.
• 25:38
  OK, You were talking about people posting, like, the same
• 25:40
  picture. Yes.
• 25:40
  Yeah, that does. To me, it doesn't look good.
• 25:43
  It doesn't, like, show me anything interesting about you.
• 25:47
  It just shows that you know how to stand in the same spot over
• 25:50
  and over again in the same outfit, basically.
• 25:53
  Or you know, OK so I'm on dating apps now and I hate when guys
• 25:59
  will post pictures and all of their pictures they'll be in
• 26:02
  Snapchat filters. Not and that's not just a fix
• 26:05
  filter that changes color, it's filters that like obscure your
• 26:07
  face and they'll post like 6 pictures of them with either
• 26:12
  Snapchat filters, it'll be like 1/4 of their face or it'll be
• 26:16
  them in a giant group picture where you can't zoom in.
• 26:18
  And I'm like, would you swipe on a girl who only posted that
• 26:22
  prop? Actually, probably.
• 26:25
  Men are easy. Men.
• 26:26
  I always say that men are horse. Like oh, she got a pussy.
• 26:29
  Oh yeah, OK here. Is it warm?
• 26:31
  Is it warm in a hole? It could be an Ant pile.
• 26:36
  As long as it's warm and a little damp.
• 26:39
  Could be anything. Small bag of macaroni.
• 26:42
  I don't know. I came in contact with some guy
• 26:45
  and he was talking at a local event that I went to and he was
• 26:51
  talking about this chick that he passed.
• 26:53
  He's like, yeah, I fucked her. Oh my God, It was like throwing
• 26:56
  a hot dog down a down a hallway. I'd.
• 26:58
  Kill myself if a man said that and I was.
• 27:00
  Like that is horrible. And why would you say that to
• 27:04
  people? Why?
• 27:05
  And you know what's crazy? He was probably lying.
• 27:08
  His Dick is probably small. That's what I was thinking, but
• 27:10
  I wasn't going to say that little.
• 27:11
  Pencil Dick. Her pussy wasn't big, her Dick
• 27:18
  was just small. Barbie.
• 27:19
  I love it. I love it.
• 27:23
  But but yeah, with the profiles, especially if you're using FET
• 27:27
  to potentially date or to find partners, you need to put stuff
• 27:31
  in your profile that you would want to know about your
• 27:33
  partners, especially things like fetishes, pictures of you.
• 27:37
  You don't have to post your face, but like things you want
• 27:40
  to know, like, hi, this is what I'm looking for.
• 27:43
  There's like an option to put so much stuff on Fet.
• 27:45
  You can exactly list what you're looking for.
• 27:47
  You can list as hookups, cyber sex, I'm looking for friends,
• 27:51
  events. I'm only listed as events and I
• 27:53
  have people hit me up all the time wanting to fuck or wanting
• 27:57
  to play and I'm like it just tells me immediately you're not
• 28:00
  reading and so you don't actually care about what I'm
• 28:04
  doing, my event and who you. Really are, yeah.
• 28:06
  Because my profile is I think on Fed they mark certain profiles
• 28:09
  as professional profiles and I am marked under that.
• 28:12
  So like if you have certain settings on, you can't find me
• 28:16
  because any solicitors get put in a different cattle even
• 28:19
  though I'm not fucking doing that.
• 28:20
  But I have it listed as I'm only looking for events.
• 28:24
  I don't even say I'm looking for friends, but I still have people
• 28:27
  all the time that DM me and they're wanting to do all this
• 28:29
  stuff. And I'm like, if you don't care
• 28:31
  enough to read my profile then you're not going to be a
• 28:34
  suitable partner for me or a suitable play partner.
• 28:37
  You know, I can't deal with that.
• 28:39
  You know, if you can't even spend 2 minutes reading
• 28:41
  something, that's all it says. But just read profiles before
• 28:44
  you message them and make sure your profile looks good and
• 28:47
  present yourself well and you'll have a lot more success in the
• 28:50
  dating scene and in the king scene that.
• 28:52
  Way you know, my thing of it is people always message me and
• 28:55
  they're like, so how can I find your event?
• 28:58
  How can I find? Literally right there.
• 28:59
  Yeah, how can I find your next party?
• 29:00
  I'm like, dude, you go to the tab at home and you Scroll down
• 29:05
  and it's. I had a guy who kept going.
• 29:08
  Oh, well, well, wouldn't Mia's next party?
• 29:09
  And I was like, it's in the event listing.
• 29:11
  It's or you can go to her page and look at it.
• 29:13
  Oh, if you can just send me the date.
• 29:14
  No, I'm not gonna fucking send you the date if I know how to go
• 29:17
  find it. You can go find it.
• 29:19
  Are you his secretary? Exactly.
• 29:21
  I'm sorry You messaged me wanting something from me.
• 29:24
  Yeah. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and
• 29:25
  tell you how to go find Mia. Like, go do it on your own.
• 29:29
  Like not to get aggressive, but it's like, don't ask me for
• 29:31
  things if I can go find the event, you can go find the
• 29:35
  events, you know? Entirely true.
• 29:37
  But you know, it's just interesting like because it took
• 29:40
  me a minute because I didn't know where anything was on the
• 29:42
  app. But now that I know it's, it's
• 29:44
  much easier. Is it much easier?
• 29:47
  I don't check my friend request, I'm really bad about that.
• 29:50
  Well you need to add your friends bitch.
• 29:52
  Well people won't tell me when they friend me because I have a
• 29:54
  lot of friend requests like I have like 90 something right now
• 29:58
  because it's just random guys or random people.
• 30:01
  Sorry guys I'm not gonna just like call y'all out 24/7 but a
• 30:05
  lot of random people friend me and I don't I won't respond and
• 30:08
  so somebody will. I had this happen where someone
• 30:11
  friended me and they actually like knew me and then later
• 30:14
  they're like you never responded to my friend request and I'm
• 30:16
  like, I didn't know you sent me one 'cause I just, I don't look
• 30:20
  at it anymore. And and you know what I do
• 30:21
  sometimes that's bad. I sometimes mass decline 'cause
• 30:25
  you have an option to decline all and sometimes I'll decline
• 30:28
  them all and then I'm like, oh, hopefully it didn't hurt no
• 30:29
  one's feelings 'cause I'm not going through it.
• 30:33
  Do you get a lot of friend requests on Fet?
• 30:35
  I do get a lot of lot of lot of friend requests.
• 30:39
  Do you accept your friend requests 'cause like I just
• 30:40
  said, I don't go through mine. I do because I specifically said
• 30:44
  on Fet I say to people we're all here for the same reason, kink,
• 30:49
  that they can always friend request me and I'll accept
• 30:53
  anyone's request. Oh, that's nice.
• 30:55
  And I do that because for one, we promote the podcast that way.
• 30:58
  Yeah. Two, I promote the dungeon and
• 31:00
  the parties, Yeah. So whatever people see me post,
• 31:04
  it's going to come up in. Their feet, you know, that's
• 31:05
  pretty smart. Well, I mean people can follow
• 31:07
  you though and you don't to friend them.
• 31:09
  They they can, but you know why not true, You know why not?
• 31:12
  I hate reading profiles on there where they're just like, I'm not
• 31:16
  going to friend you unless I've met you in person.
• 31:19
  It's like, yeah, you're not. I'm not that strict with it, but
• 31:23
  I part of me is just like if I accept everyone said, like you
• 31:27
  said, I'm gonna have to accept them all.
• 31:28
  And I'm like, I just don't feel like having all that in my feed.
• 31:31
  If you want, if you want to watch my stuff, you can follow
• 31:33
  me. And if you want to be my friend,
• 31:35
  you got to make an effort. Got to impress me or something
• 31:37
  like that. But that's me.
• 31:38
  But I'll never put it in my profile or anything like that.
• 31:41
  Well, you know, there's a setting on Fet now where when
• 31:43
  you hit that friend request or that message button, something
• 31:46
  will pop up and go just a reminder.
• 31:48
  So and so is only looking for this.
• 31:50
  So think before you message. And I think you can, you can
• 31:53
  program that in to like to double remind people like the
• 31:59
  like when you message them, it'll be like she is not looking
• 32:01
  for hookups. Don't message her if that's what
• 32:03
  you're looking for. And you can still message them
• 32:05
  anyways. But I like that, you know, that
• 32:07
  way you have to put in your. Profile.
• 32:09
  I think there's a lot of cool features to Fetlife, but I still
• 32:11
  think that can be a little more user friendly.
• 32:14
  It is like especially with the chats, like I was trying to
• 32:18
  scroll up in me and my my little boy toys chat 'cause I was
• 32:21
  looking for something. And when you load the older
• 32:23
  messages it takes you to like 7 weeks ago and I'm like Oh my
• 32:27
  gosh, we text so much I have to scroll all the way down.
• 32:30
  Or like I sent him something on Fet and it made a whole new chat
• 32:34
  and I was like Oh my God, what is going on right?
• 32:37
  It was so annoying. Yeah, there's really a lot of
• 32:41
  parts to FET. That's cool.
• 32:43
  Yeah, you know, there's aspects of it, but like you said, in
• 32:46
  order to find something you really have to go and look.
• 32:48
  For it, especially fetish wise, you know?
• 32:50
  And if there's somebody specific, unless you spell their
• 32:53
  name absolutely correct with the underscores and everything,
• 32:56
  you're fine. Capitalization.
• 32:57
  Yeah, it's stupid. It's like, come on, be some
• 33:00
  vague. Give something vague.
• 33:01
  I think it's the case. I use that life on my phone.
• 33:06
  I have a little widget for it so it looks like an app even though
• 33:08
  it's still a browser and it's nice.
• 33:11
  But I think they should can they move to an app?
• 33:13
  They should try it. They do.
• 33:14
  Have an app. They have an app.
• 33:16
  They do have an app. I can't find it.
• 33:17
  It's not. Easy.
• 33:19
  I tried to find their app and I didn't see it.
• 33:21
  Maybe it's only for Android? Oh, that could.
• 33:24
  Be because I have iOS. Yeah, that that could.
• 33:26
  Be but I use it like now I have like a little like emoticon on
• 33:29
  my screen so it looks like an app and I like it much better so
• 33:32
  I don't have to go to the website every time.
• 33:34
  Yeah, I'm well, I'm not. Down.
• 33:35
  I accidentally logged out the other day and I thought I
• 33:37
  deleted my account for a second. I was really high and I was like
• 33:40
  Oh my God. And then I just logged right
• 33:41
  back in. Dipshit, That's hilarious.
• 33:44
  It's so. Stupid but.
• 33:48
  Anything else we'd like to tell people on this because.
• 33:51
  I don't know. This is going to be our version
• 33:53
  of Just a Chat. Oh you know I don't know, I feel
• 33:57
  like my profile looks cute and I feel I just wish people would
• 33:59
  just put more effort into it. Especially if you're wanting to
• 34:02
  get things out of fet, like if you're just on fet to lurk.
• 34:05
  Oh don't post anything just do whatever you want.
• 34:07
  But if you're looking for a partner or a girlfriend,
• 34:10
  boyfriend, a play partner, Dom or submissive, you really need
• 34:13
  to, you know, put out some good energy you.
• 34:16
  Know amp it up. Look good try effort takes you
• 34:20
  so long like such a far away and the episode we posted today the
• 34:24
  Mia and Barbie love your cock thing or something like that.
• 34:28
  Effort will get you so much more game than anything else.
• 34:31
  You want to get laid? Put in effort.
• 34:33
  Literally it. And nobody wants to see Dick
• 34:35
  pics. I mean, unless your cock is so
• 34:38
  fucking memorable, don't fucking post.
• 34:40
  Don't look up. I know, like, people watch porn
• 34:43
  of women a lot. So I feel like women have a lot
• 34:46
  of like, like resources to know how to pose.
• 34:48
  If you want to know how to send a Dick pic, look up some porn of
• 34:51
  guys and see how they're posing. Yeah, because that's what's
• 34:54
  gonna look good. I don't don't think you're gay
• 34:56
  or anything like that. Like don't freak out on me.
• 34:59
  But if you need like some help, like, like if you want to post
• 35:02
  like a Dick pic and you don't know how to do it, look it up.
• 35:05
  Look it up. Look it up.
• 35:07
  See what guys that are like get paid to be hot do like.
• 35:11
  Not trying to be rude. Exactly.
• 35:14
  I know this was back in the early 2000s.
• 35:16
  Fucking Mark Wahlberg and that that fucking Calvin Klein ad and
• 35:23
  that commercial. He fucking has the picture and
• 35:26
  they enhanced his junk, but he's got his hand on his Dick.
• 35:30
  It's on the outside. It's his fucking print.
• 35:32
  It's his man print. That's what women want to see.
• 35:35
  They want to see. These some of these Dick
• 35:37
  pictures y'all post look like mug shots of your Dick.
• 35:39
  Oh my God they do. It looks like clinical and
• 35:41
  scary. It does.
• 35:42
  You look like you're in an airport bathroom.
• 35:45
  And you know, there was a guy, I don't know if you know this, a
• 35:48
  lot of people don't realize this, OK, But guys, if you don't
• 35:51
  alternate the way you're masturbating.
• 35:54
  It won't make your Dick sideways.
• 35:55
  It will, it will make your Dick sideways.
• 35:57
  And there's this guy and he fucking posted this picture and
• 36:01
  his Dick is a fucking hook. And he said, hey ladies, you
• 36:05
  want to get that hook on hook which.
• 36:07
  Direction cuz I'm at. It was he pulls it out from the
• 36:11
  base of his cock and he twists it to the left and you could
• 36:14
  tell it's a fucking. It looks like a cane.
• 36:17
  Like a fucking walking I. Feel like a slight hook upwards
• 36:20
  is very pleasant. Well, upwards, yeah, I could see
• 36:24
  that first. If you're gonna hook your Dick,
• 36:26
  hook it upwards. If you're gonna deform yourself,
• 36:30
  do it in a good way. Do.
• 36:31
  It in a good way yeah, my ex-boyfriend used to do that.
• 36:33
  He would pull his Dick up and it was a nice, it was a nice, you
• 36:37
  know what feel to. That you're definitely right,
• 36:40
  because now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like one of the
• 36:43
  guys I used to be with, he, he had a slight hook.
• 36:47
  And now that I think about it, I've seen him masturbate and I'm
• 36:49
  like, that's how that makes sense.
• 36:50
  I can't wait to. I'm going to text him after this
• 36:52
  and tell him why his Dick is crooked.
• 36:53
  Yeah. That's why he did it himself.
• 36:56
  I'm really Hey, guess what, your Dick's crooked, right you.
• 36:59
  So guys fucking pull that shit up, you know, pull.
• 37:02
  It towards your and they'll get a splint.
• 37:04
  Make it. Get some popsicle.
• 37:08
  Sticks, you know, straighten that shit out.
• 37:10
  Talking about Mark Wahlberg. There's a movie playing in the
• 37:14
  background. Yeah, fucking.
• 37:16
  So if I start studling over my words, it's because I have one
• 37:18
  brain cell and there's pictures on the TV and I'm dying.
• 37:22
  OK, so anyhoo. Anyhoo.
• 37:25
  Anyhoo, who? All right, so we're back to all
• 37:31
  the other stuff we've discussed. Yeah, it's always interesting.
• 37:34
  We always go on tangents. You're welcome.
• 37:36
  It's OK, guys. You're going to get used to
• 37:38
  this. I swear.
• 37:39
  At some point, if there's a suggestion that you have for
• 37:42
  Barbie and I and you want us to talk about it or you want us to
• 37:45
  stop doing it, you just tell us. If you want Barbie to take some
• 37:50
  ADHD medicine before the podcast so we can have one cohesive
• 37:54
  conversation, that will not be happening.
• 37:57
  Wow, yeah, send in questions, send in things you want to talk
• 38:02
  about. Yeah, you can message, you can
• 38:04
  message me or you can message me.
• 38:06
  I'm the under score Barbie on Fett, the B and the.
• 38:10
  B to promote. That Oh, thank you.
• 38:12
  I've read your mind. Fuck yeah.
• 38:14
  The Barbie, the Barbie, the under score Barbie.
• 38:18
  I know that's so cute. I considered it changing it to
• 38:20
  TH EE like like Megan Thee Stallion.
• 38:24
  But then I was like to be like the Barbie.
• 38:26
  But then I'm like the Barbie's fine.
• 38:29
  I wanted to be just Barbie but somebody else already had that.
• 38:33
  Wow I know, so rude. Those cunts.
• 38:35
  How dare someone pick something before me?
• 38:38
  Those cunts. All right.
• 38:41
  On that note, Barbie, are we done?
• 38:43
  Yes, all right. Let's go eat some sushi.
• 38:45
  So until then, may all your fantasies become.
• 38:51
  That does not sound sexy. You fucking do that again.
• 38:54
  Do it. Realities.
• 38:57
  Realities. There we go.
• 38:58
  Me as bedtime story voice. There you go.