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Some narcissists want you to feel sorry for them · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about how some narcissists, some
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  want you to feel sorry for them, how they will use their own
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  traumas and your trauma to help connect to you.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. Welcome back.
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  Yes, yeah. Pity, Pity, pity, PITY.
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  Now let me go ahead and say this first.
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  There are some narcissists out there who don't want your pity.
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  They don't want you to feel sorry for them.
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  They loaded. They load when other people feel
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  sorry for them. Because if you can feel sorry
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  for me, that means you're above me.
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  The only way you can feel sorry for me is you're above me in
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  some way, shape or form. So I don't want you to feel like
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  you're above me. So I don't want your pity.
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  Even if I need help, even if I need, if I'm on my I, I I don't.
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  Look, I have $0.00 left. I have negative dollars.
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  I'm in debt, you know, I have a you know I have a negative net
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  worth right now and no money coming in.
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  I still wouldn't ask for help because I don't want your pity.
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  But there are some covert, vulnerable narcissists out there
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  that will absolutely ask you for help or be a they.
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  They want your pity. They want it because they they
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  can use that as a way to bond to you or as a way to get back into
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  your life. And I I'll say this as well.
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  It's not only covert narcissist I have.
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  I know some real, real life malignant narcissists that do
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  something. They do something very similar
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  as well. I know real life malignant
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  narcissists that will use that pity against you.
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  But they don't do it in a they don't do it in a way that seems
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  like they're trying to get pity. They do it in a way that makes
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  it seem like, you know, they do it in a way that makes it it
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  play. It pulls on, it tugs on your
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  heartstrings. But it's not them asking for
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  help, you know, It's them asking for help, but they don't ask,
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  actually say it, You know? But there are some of them out
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  there. Y'all they.
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  They will. Absolutely.
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  Especially when you're first meeting them.
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  You know, if you're first meeting them and you don't have
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  anything else that connects you to this person, like everything,
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  everything else, everything that y'all have in common is just
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  y'all don't really have anything in common.
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  But they pull out all the stops. They're trying to get into your
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  heart faster. And you know, a lot of people, a
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  lot of highly empathetic people end up with narcissists, right?
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  So they prey on your empathy. And there's like empathy hunter.
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  So, you know, I'm just like literally, you know, sometimes
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  narcissist is it's almost like narcissist come outside and they
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  they they're hunting empaths. Sometimes it's just like, you
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  know, people back the old movies where they pick up the grass and
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  they throw the grass in the air and then they just like the
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  empaths are upwind. You see what I'm saying?
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  I'm downwind from the empaths And they'll hunt you, they'll
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  prey on you. So they'll and they'll test you.
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  They'll test you with with some vulnerability.
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  I just can't. I'm just sorry.
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  I'm not really into this conversation today.
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  My my pet parrot that I had for for 20 years.
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  He doesn't talk anymore. He lost his voice box.
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  He he used to say dash lighting narcissist.
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  I don't know why he says that first of all.
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  But he now he's just saying empath, empath.
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  He doesn't say the same thing anymore.
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  He lost his voice. He doesn't say arc anymore.
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  He doesn't talk to me. My my parrot is giving me the
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  silent treatment. And then you, who might have
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  also had a parrot or a pet that passed away, or pet that got
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  sick, or a pet, a pet that drastically changed its
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  behaviors, you connect to them. Oh, I have I I had a old
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  parakeet when I was growing up too, and it stopped talking too.
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  And then y'all start hugging and y'all end up clapping cheeks.
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  But that happens sometimes with narcissistic people.
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  Just being realistic, that's part.
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  That's part of the dynamic that will happen sometimes.
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  They will absolutely prey on you.
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  They'll prey on your empathy. They'll use it to connect to
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  you, you know, They'll use it to do things like that, to just get
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  into your life and to stay into your life.
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  To become damn near like a tick biting you and bury burying, you
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  know, a ticks bite you and they bury their whole damn snout in
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  your body like a tick. Like a narcissistic little tick
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  that buries his head beneath the surface.
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  You got to twist his butt out, though.
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  The only way to get a narcissist out your system, You got to grab
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  it by the butt and twist it. You got to grab the narcissist
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  by the butt and twist it to get it out.
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  I'm sorry. Y'all.
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  You wouldn't be here if I wouldn't.
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  I got a joke. I got to bring the humor to it.
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  Y'all know I got to bring the humor.
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  That's me. This is me being me.
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  This is me being real. This is really me.
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  Y'all seriously. But that's part of it right
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  there. Y'all that's part of the the
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  dynamic that a lot of people go through.
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  You know what I mean? A lot, a lot of people face.
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  So that's why I want you. If you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person, you y'all understand this, that you've had
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  this happen before like some of y'all have.
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  They have used their trauma to connect to you at first.
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  They have used their their traumatic childhood or their
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  traumatic, you know, adulthood or their recent loss of somebody
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  close to them. They got fired from their job.
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  They're they're they're struggling to make ends meet.
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  They're homeless. Whatever it is, they've used a
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  traumatic experience to prey or play upon your empathy, your
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  compassion, your compassion centre.
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  They've done that to you, right. So you had experience with this
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  happening before in your life where they've absolutely done it
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  to you. Well, Lee, yeah, it happened to
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  me. I know.
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  It really has happened to me. I don't know what to do next.
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  So in these spaces right here, y'all, when you're dealing with
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  this type of personality dynamic, this, this type of
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  personality complex, it sometimes you have to fall into
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  it. Like don't let your empathy be
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  weaponized against you. Because it's not only in the
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  beginning of the relationship, they'll do this later on in the
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  relationship, once the relationship is established,
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  Like some of them will refuse to be vulnerable, vulnerable or
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  open to you for a long time about what they went through in
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  their childhood, about how they were raised.
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  Until it serves them, until it benefits them, you're about to
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  break up with them, You're done with the relationship.
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  Now, all of a sudden they want to tell you about their
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  childhood trauma. Now all of a sudden, they want
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  to tell you that they they, they mom or dad never told them that
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  they loved them, never told them that they were proud of them.
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  Now they want to do all of this. Now they want to do all of that.
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  Now they want to be open and vulnerable.
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  It's weaponized. The timing of it lets you know
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  that it's weaponized. They've never said it before.
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  Now they want to be open and now they want them.
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  Now they expect you to feel sorry for them, because now
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  guess what? If you don't feel bad for them
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  and give them another chance, they'll just say, oh, you don't
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  have any empathy. You're a horrible person.
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  I knew. You know?
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  I knew. That you were this type.
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  Of person. I knew who you were, but I I
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  knew this was you. I knew you didn't care.
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  I knew you didn't care about me. You you call yourself an Empath
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  and you don't care about me. You don't care that my mom was
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  never around for me, you know? They don't use that against you,
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  they'll weaponize it against you.
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  You know, I've been dealing with my grandma's death and you going
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  to leave me right now? Well, your your grandma passed
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  away in 2012. Whoa.
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  Wow. Wow.
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  Wow. You put a time limit.
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  You're putting a time limit on my healing.
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  Wow. I never thought you were ghosts.
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  I never thought you would be so low.
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  I never thought you would do this to me.
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  I never thought that you would do this to me.
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  How killed you? You something like now is
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  because it's useful to them. They will use their trauma.
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  They want you to feel sorry for them and they want you to feel
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  guilty. They want that's that's really
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  what they want to build it. They want to build their guilt
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  up in you. They want to build their guilt
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  up in you to make sure that you feel it.
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  They make sure that it's part of your life, it's part of your
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  dynamic. And what now?
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  They want you to feel it. You know they want you to to
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  draw the they want to suck the empathy out of you like a damn
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  narcissistic vampire. Like the little the little, the
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  little canines come out like bite you across the damn neck.
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  Protect your neck. Protect your neck.
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  Get you some little empathetic garlic or cross or whatever.
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  You need to keep them away from your neck because they will
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  absolutely getting, they'd be absolutely doing that type of
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  stuff. So you have to protect yourself.
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  You have to defend yourself. Somebody taking pictures
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  outside? Yeah.
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  What are you taking pictures of? Who they taking pictures of?
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  I don't know. OK, see, I need.
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  I need a new camera. I need a new camera.
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  Y'all. I had this camera for like 3
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  years now. I've been, it's been pumping,
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  but it's been pumping. My little Sony.
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  My little Sony. We've been we've been buffing
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  for three years. But yeah, so don't let them use
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  your empathy against you. Y'all because there are a lot of
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  narcissists. They want you to feel sorry for
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  them. Situationally, Not always.
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  They don't always walk around, want you to feel sorry for them.
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  But some of them will. Some of them will prey upon you.
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  Y'all. Like I've heard this.
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  This is one of the stories I hear consistently right here.
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  Y'all, it's going to suck when I say this.
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  They will absolutely use it against you to the point where
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  they, like, they lose their job, they're down and out and then,
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  like, you take care of them for a little while and then they
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  refuse to go back to work. Wow.
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  You know how you know how you know how hard it is to get a
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  job? Wow.
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  You going to really make me go back to work?
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  Wow, you really have. You really are heartless.
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  You don't believe in my business idea of?
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  You know, a shoe cleaner. Or a vacuum for shoes.
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  You don't really believe in a hack vacuum.
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  You don't believe in that, do you?
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  You know you don't really believe in me, do you?
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  So they will use that against you.
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  Y'all, it's situational. Like they refuse to go back to
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  work. They will refuse to help take
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  care of the kids. They refuse to do this.
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  They refuse to do that. They will.
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  Y'all refuse is going to be the number one word in their
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  vocabulary for the next few years dealing with you, you
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  know. But that's why I said you have
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  to set boundaries in the beginning and don't let your
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  empathy be weaponized against you.
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  And like I said, and you make a decision, stand on it.
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  Y'all I'm just, I'm just telling you, don't let them make you
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  feel guilty for wanting to be happy.
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  If there is their empathy trick doesn't work.
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  You mean don't let them make you feel guilty because it didn't
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  work, Because they haven't been, they haven't been open.
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  They haven't been honest with you.
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  They haven't been carried to you.
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  They haven't been vulnerable with you.
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  But now all of a sudden they are.
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  Come on now. Y'all, come on, come on, give it
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  to me. Give it to me now.
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  They want to be open and honest with you.
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  Now they want to be vulnerable with you because what?
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  Because now they like they now they're facing some, facing some
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  adversity. Come on now.
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  Y'all, come on. You got to give it to me.
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  You got to give it to me. You have to.
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  Now. They want to do this.
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  Come on, baby, Come on, Come on. So that's why I'm just telling
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  you, when you're dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person, this
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  is what you're going to face when you're dealing with them.
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  Y'all this is part of the dynamic.
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  This is part of what's going to keep going on.
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  As long as this relationship is keep going, it's going to keep
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  going on. You know, like not all of them
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  will seek pity. Not all of them will use your
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  empathy against you. Not all of them will want you to
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  feel sorry for them because some of them will just self sabotage
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  and blow their whole lives up and don't care.
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  But there are some that will take advantage of you as long as
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  you allow them to take advantage of you.
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  You know, I know it's hard for you to.
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  I know it's hard for you to disconnect from that type of
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  person, but you have to take the the necessary steps in order to
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  protect yourself, to guard against what they going to do.
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  Because sometimes I'm just telling you, they're going to
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  try to take you to the like. Especially you try to divorce
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  them and they ain't worked for a long time.
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  They were going to try to take you to the clinics.
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  If you divorce me, I'm going to get alimony, you know.
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  Anyways, y'all damn. Thank you all for tuning in to
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  another episode. Make sure to subscribe to the
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  channel. Let me know what's going on.
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  Y'all. Mr. Hill, this is our peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness rock star and I appreciate you for
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  being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another. One of my.
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  Videos on my playlist. There's also a link available up
• 12:03
  here for you to purchase my kids.
• 12:05
  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
• 12:09
  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.