Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Almost Time to Play Ball!

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Hour 3 - Almost Time to Play Ball! · The Ben Maller Show

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Speaker 1: Boom, Shaka laka, it's our birth three hour three, Ready
0:07
Speaker 1: to go talking bays bow. Yeah. We are less than
0:11
Speaker 1: two weeks away from opening Day in Major League Baseball
0:14
Speaker 1: and the latest gambling odds are out. Do you agree
0:17
Speaker 1: with the Dodgers being the biggest preseason favorite to win
0:21
Speaker 1: the World Series in a generation. It's been twenty one
0:24
Speaker 1: years since a team was as big a favorite as
0:27
Speaker 1: the Doyers will discuss that. Also, we're hearing the Marlins
0:31
Speaker 1: are placing their ace Sandy Alcantara, on an innings limit
0:36
Speaker 1: this season to keep him fresh, they say for the playoffs.
0:39
Speaker 1: What are your thoughts on that? And Balco Barry Bond
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Speaker 1: said recently that he could still hit a one hundred
0:45
Speaker 1: mile per hour pitch and says hitting is as easy
0:49
Speaker 1: as the catcher catching the pitch. How do you classify
0:52
Speaker 1: that commentary from old Balco Berry. We'll get to all
0:56
Speaker 1: of that and more right now on this Friday here
0:58
Speaker 1: it is lame Jokes of the week. It's our number three.
1:04
Speaker 1: It is almost timed playball. Welcome in the beginning of
1:12
Speaker 1: another hour of the Benmahler Show.
1:14
Speaker 2: We are in the air, eywhere right alongside as we
1:22
Speaker 2: are the common currency of gas baggery coast to coast,
1:27
Speaker 2: border to border and beyond on the vast and super
1:31
Speaker 2: sizedly powerful microphones of fsre am monating live from the
1:38
Speaker 2: ball the money ball of gall as.
1:42
Speaker 1: We are broadcasting live from the tyraq dot com studios.
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2:00
Speaker 1: should be. I know og Arnt Puffin loves that number
2:04
Speaker 1: ten thousand. He always says, I like that number ten
2:07
Speaker 1: thous That's a good number, ten thousand, solid number. So
2:10
Speaker 1: our lead this hour is from baseball. That's right, baseball.
2:15
Speaker 1: So what are you talking baseball for? I don't understand
2:18
Speaker 1: why I have a baseball what's wrong with you talking baseball?
2:22
Speaker 1: All right? Number one? It is? It is Today is
2:26
Speaker 1: March seventh, That's right. We are now, if my math
2:30
Speaker 1: is correct, the opening day in Tokyo, Japan, Dodgers and Cubs.
2:39
Speaker 1: The opening day will be March eighteenth, So we are
2:42
Speaker 1: eleven days away from the start of the baseball season.
2:45
Speaker 1: That seems like it's close enough to talk some ball
2:48
Speaker 1: here with you. Yeah, so the lead is from baseball.
2:52
Speaker 1: But after winning in dominating fashion over that pathetic Yankee
2:57
Speaker 1: team sorry e Dogg and Joe Dogg and Marcel and Brooklyn.
3:01
Speaker 1: But after beating the Yankees up to a pulp in
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Speaker 1: the twenty twenty four World Series, the Doyers enter the season.
3:08
Speaker 1: They open up with the Cubs. Everyone else opens up later,
3:11
Speaker 1: but the Dodgers and the Cubs open up March eighteenth
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Speaker 1: in Japan, and they enter the upcoming baseball season, according
3:19
Speaker 1: to the gambling market, as the biggest favorite in a generation.
3:26
Speaker 1: Say what, let me explain. So maybe you didn't see
3:30
Speaker 1: this or now you might not be a gambler. So
3:31
Speaker 1: the Dodgers are listed at plus two forty. They have
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Speaker 1: the implied odds of a twenty nine point four percent
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Speaker 1: chance of winning back to back winning another championship. Ring here. Now,
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Speaker 1: that makes them the largest preseason favorite to win the
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Speaker 1: World Series in a generation. You got to go back
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Speaker 1: to the three Yankees who were plus two hundred the
4:00
Speaker 1: last time there was a favorite this big in baseball,
4:04
Speaker 1: and that Yankee team did lose to the Marlins or
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Speaker 1: whatever it's worth. But let us discuss the question. Do
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Speaker 1: you agree or disagree with the Doyers being the biggest
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Speaker 1: preseason favorite to win the World Series in twenty one years.
4:20
Speaker 1: So I've got toys r Us, Wheel of Fortune and
4:25
Speaker 1: Banti Rooster, and we will combine all of these things
4:30
Speaker 1: together and we are going to make the Gabba goool.
4:33
Speaker 1: We're gonna make the Goba goles. What we're gonna do,
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Speaker 1: all right. So, first of all, if you're not someone
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Speaker 1: that bets, and that's not your world. I'm someone that does.
4:43
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I didn't do very well this
4:45
Speaker 1: last year. But sportsbooks set the opening line. The book
4:48
Speaker 1: sets the opening line. It is the gambling public that
4:52
Speaker 1: establishes the final line by betting in to the book, right,
4:58
Speaker 1: And so if you bet too much much on one
5:00
Speaker 1: side in this case, one team, it adjusts. And the
5:04
Speaker 1: whole goal of this is to limit liability, because as
5:07
Speaker 1: long as you have an equal number of bets on
5:10
Speaker 1: every particular event or in this case of prop you're
5:15
Speaker 1: guaranteed to win money on the juice, and so you'll
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Speaker 1: make a profit on that. But the Dodgers, I get
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Speaker 1: it from the standpoint. The Dodgers are the reigning champions.
5:24
Speaker 1: They have been absolute hoarders. They are absolute holders. They
5:28
Speaker 1: definitely grew up as toys r us kids because they
5:31
Speaker 1: have gotten just about all the cool toys in the neighborhood,
5:35
Speaker 1: and it's all on Layoway. They got all the toys
5:38
Speaker 1: on Layoway. Deferred money and all that. Now, from a
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Speaker 1: pragmatic view, if you add a thousand dollars burning a
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Speaker 1: hole in your wallet as a gambler, and you said, hey, Ben,
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Speaker 1: should you bet on the Dodgers to win the World Series?
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Speaker 1: I would say the Dodgers do not present value because
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Speaker 1: your money's going to be tied up for a long time.
6:01
Speaker 1: You want to bet a little and win a lot.
6:03
Speaker 1: To win any real money, you got to bet a
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Speaker 1: lot on the Dodgers. And while they have let's say
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Speaker 1: a ninety five percent chance of getting to the playoffs,
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Speaker 1: it is an absolute crap shoot when you get to
6:15
Speaker 1: the playoffs, right, we know that to be true. It's
6:18
Speaker 1: a crap shoot. And all it takes is a team
6:20
Speaker 1: wide one week slump and boom goes the dynamite and
6:25
Speaker 1: you're done. And Mookie bets. While he certainly redeemed himself
6:28
Speaker 1: this past year in the baseball playoffs, he had been
6:32
Speaker 1: a herd for the Dodgers for a couple of years.
6:35
Speaker 1: He just didn't show up. And he's a guy that
6:37
Speaker 1: runs hot and cold. That's just one example. And Shoel
6:41
Speaker 1: Tani did not exactly like the world on fire in
6:43
Speaker 1: the World Series. The excuse makers will say, well, he
6:46
Speaker 1: was hurt and whatnot. But postseason I'll say it's more like,
6:51
Speaker 1: I'll use the Roulette wheel analogy. Let's say the Dodgers,
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Speaker 1: because they've got all these great players, the Dodgers have
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Speaker 1: all of the red and the black on the roulette wheel, right,
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Speaker 1: all the red and the black, and the rest of
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Speaker 1: the field is green, and every so often green zero
7:10
Speaker 1: or green double zero will pop up and spoil the fun.
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Speaker 1: And most of these new guys the Dodgers have picked
7:18
Speaker 1: up are not exactly battle tested. They're not like Blake Snell,
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Speaker 1: who they got bro I ain't playing as I got mine.
7:26
Speaker 1: I'm risking my live raw Blake Snell. Do you trust
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Speaker 1: that guy'll even be healthy by the playoffs? Probably none.
7:33
Speaker 1: And some of the new additions who are phenoms from
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Speaker 1: whether it be Japan or some other country, we don't
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Speaker 1: know whether they can perform under the immense pressure of
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Speaker 1: the postseason, so even if they are there, past results
7:47
Speaker 1: do not guarantee future outcomes and all that. Now. Secondly,
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Speaker 1: interesting story coming out of South Florida, and it involves
7:54
Speaker 1: weed Man's second favorite team, the Marlins. So we're hearing
7:57
Speaker 1: the Marlins have decided to put their stalwart pitcher Sandy
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Speaker 1: Alkantara on an innings limit during the twenty twenty five season.
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Speaker 1: He's the one guy that's worth watching on the Marlins,
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Speaker 1: and so they're gonna put him on an innings limit.
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Speaker 1: They're trying to keep him fresh. They're saying they want
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Speaker 1: to keep him fresh for the playoffs. All right, your thoughts,
8:21
Speaker 1: so lame jokes are this hour, so I can say
8:23
Speaker 1: that that's not a joke, by the way, that's actually
8:25
Speaker 1: a story that's being relaid around and dumb people are
8:28
Speaker 1: repeating it. So you don't need to be mister baseball
8:32
Speaker 1: to know the postseason ain't happening in Miami. So really,
8:37
Speaker 1: the Miami Baseball team is saying that they'll they'll be
8:41
Speaker 1: using the first half of the season as a showcase.
8:44
Speaker 1: Eventually Alkantara will be traded to a contender, but until then,
8:50
Speaker 1: they're gonna put him on a pedestal and he'll be
8:53
Speaker 1: surrounded by pillows. And then right around early July to
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Speaker 1: late July, they'll trade Sandy Alcantara to the Red Sox
9:02
Speaker 1: or the Yankees or maybe seven Dodger pitchers will get hurt.
9:05
Speaker 1: He'll go to the Dodgers. It's not rocket sized now,
9:08
Speaker 1: by the way, Okay, can I get on my soapbox
9:13
Speaker 1: here and complain another one of my pet peeves. In basketball,
9:18
Speaker 1: they call it the minutes limit, but in baseball it's
9:22
Speaker 1: predetermined innings limits that drive me bonkers. It's very popular,
9:30
Speaker 1: it's been this way for a while, and it's dumbboll
9:34
Speaker 1: like because on the surface, the concept seems logical. You
9:39
Speaker 1: count pitches, you count innings, you have a fixated target,
9:44
Speaker 1: and that's it, right, And it's based on research. Follow
9:48
Speaker 1: the science. A smaller workload. Smaller workload reduces the risk
9:54
Speaker 1: of ligament fraying, and you're able to control overuse. And
9:59
Speaker 1: certainly do not want to have pictures over work, so
10:01
Speaker 1: do workout. Restrictions like inning limits actually prevent injuries. So
10:10
Speaker 1: it's like playing the wheel of fortune and saying, can
10:13
Speaker 1: I get an in? And I like to buy an
10:15
Speaker 1: oh and put them together that there has been no correlation.
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Speaker 1: This has been going on for a long time now.
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Speaker 1: There's no correlation between workload metrics and future injury risk.
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Speaker 1: In fact, according to the research, relying solely on inning's
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Speaker 1: limit for pictures does not prevent future injuries. Much like
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Speaker 1: minutes limits in basketball doesn't work. It doesn't work in
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Speaker 1: baseball the same concept, and it's a very poor way
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Speaker 1: of doing business because you can't tell the amount of
10:50
Speaker 1: stress placed on a pitcher's arm. And the reason, much
10:54
Speaker 1: like in basketball, the people in sports are idiots though
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Speaker 1: that run these teams. No two people are the same.
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Speaker 1: No two pitchers are alike. I'm different than you, You're
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Speaker 1: different than the person over there. We've all got the
11:07
Speaker 1: same stuff, but it's a little different and some may tire.
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Speaker 1: Some pitchers might be flowers the pussy willow flower after
11:16
Speaker 1: fifty pitches, but some other pitcher. There's this guy named
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Speaker 1: Levon Hernandez who pitched out of the Cuban League, and
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Speaker 1: that guy could throw like two hundred pitches. But they're
11:27
Speaker 1: both pitchers, right. Some guys just can't handle it and
11:30
Speaker 1: they tire out quickly. And it also depends on what
11:33
Speaker 1: pitches you're throwing right, you're throwing mostly fastballs and change ups,
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Speaker 1: you're throwing sliders. There's different pitches that cause different stress.
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Speaker 1: Kind of obvious, you know that. And it gets even worse.
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Speaker 1: They say that not only does it not prevent injury,
11:48
Speaker 1: but being conservative with innings limits and pitch counts can
11:53
Speaker 1: even have a negative effect in terms of getting pitchers
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Speaker 1: ready for heavy workloads. So when a pitcher no longer
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Speaker 1: trains to throw one hundred and twenty or one hundred
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Speaker 1: and thirty pitches, their arms are more susceptible to overuse injuries.
12:10
Speaker 1: And nobody wants to listen to this now. On my podcast,
12:13
Speaker 1: we used to have guests on Tommy John, the real
12:15
Speaker 1: Tommy John on and he should be in the Hall
12:18
Speaker 1: of Fame just because the Tommy John operations. But Tommy
12:22
Speaker 1: he complained about the fact that the pitchers don't throw enough.
12:25
Speaker 1: There was this guy named Mike Marshall who appeared in
12:27
Speaker 1: over one hundred games. There was a pitcher for the
12:29
Speaker 1: Dodgers back fifty years ago, but he appeared in one
12:33
Speaker 1: hundred games in a season. He used to advocate he's
12:35
Speaker 1: dead now too, but he would advocate for pitchers throwing
12:39
Speaker 1: more Nolan Ryan's done. All the old timers do it,
12:42
Speaker 1: and none of the new guys want to listen because
12:44
Speaker 1: they say, oh, you're all boomers, you're all dead. But
12:46
Speaker 1: yet it's been proven and the science now backs it up.
12:50
Speaker 1: But they don't want to listen because they're the smartest
12:52
Speaker 1: guys in the room because they went to some dopey
12:54
Speaker 1: ivy league school. All right, now, final fuck to the
12:57
Speaker 1: Bay Area we go where Balco Barry Bonds a throwback
13:02
Speaker 1: to twenty years ago. Barry Bonds says he could still hit.
13:06
Speaker 1: He was on a podcast he said he could still
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Speaker 1: hit a one hundred mile per hour pitch. He also
13:12
Speaker 1: said that hitting is as easy as the catcher catching
13:17
Speaker 1: the pitch. So how do you classify Barry Bonds saying
13:22
Speaker 1: at his age he could still hit one hundred mile
13:25
Speaker 1: our pitch. So this is classic machismo. Classic Barry Bonds,
13:33
Speaker 1: I believe, is like sixty now and he's still got
13:36
Speaker 1: the confidence that he had when he was twenty five
13:40
Speaker 1: years old. Bonds is strutting around like he's the banti
13:42
Speaker 1: rooster with his chest pumped out right. He's walking around
13:47
Speaker 1: like the rooster and his feathers are out and all that,
13:49
Speaker 1: and as long as he gets the right vitamins, I
13:51
Speaker 1: don't doubt that he could get that bat speed off.
13:54
Speaker 1: The problem is stuff breaking. I remember years ago baseball
13:59
Speaker 1: had an Old Time League, not league. They're like a
14:01
Speaker 1: traveling all star thing where old timers would play. They
14:04
Speaker 1: got rid of it because the guys kept getting hurt.
14:06
Speaker 1: Oh my, aching back, oh my, you know, the normal
14:10
Speaker 1: aches and pains of aging. But I would love to
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Speaker 1: see Barry Bonds, And as a promoter, I would set
14:17
Speaker 1: it up pay per view Barry Bonds at like age
14:21
Speaker 1: sixty versus pirates phenom Paul Skens. Wouldn't that be fun?
14:27
Speaker 1: And they did that stuff back in the in the day.
14:29
Speaker 1: They'd go on these wide tours, these barnstorming tours where
14:33
Speaker 1: Babe Ruth would travel all over the place to promote
14:35
Speaker 1: baseball and other legends of the game. Now, what's the
14:39
Speaker 1: other notable thing about the Bond story? The thing that
14:43
Speaker 1: stood out to me. I don't know if you saw
14:45
Speaker 1: this or not, was that Major League Baseball's marketing the
14:50
Speaker 1: online people sent out a clip on social media on
14:53
Speaker 1: the MLB account. Even though Barry Bonds has been ostracized
15:00
Speaker 1: from most of baseball. He can't get in the Hall
15:03
Speaker 1: of Fame and whatnot. So the plot thickens here. Is
15:07
Speaker 1: there a thawing between Barry Bonds and major League Baseball?
15:12
Speaker 1: Do we have a path to the og steroid guy
15:17
Speaker 1: getting into the Hall of Fame? Is there a path
15:19
Speaker 1: there for that to happen? Stay tuned developing hot dot
15:26
Speaker 1: dot dot. All right, it is the Ben Mahlor Show.
15:30
Speaker 1: We are working our way through the overnight hours. If
15:33
Speaker 1: you'd like to be part, you can join us right
15:35
Speaker 1: now at eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. Later
15:39
Speaker 1: this hour, we'll have Big Bend's lame jokes of the week,
15:44
Speaker 1: all the top zingers, the one liners as submitted by you,
15:47
Speaker 1: the home listener or the work listener of the show.
15:51
Speaker 1: I know, very exciting Right now though, time for the
15:54
Speaker 1: malor Riddle of the day. And here it is. Officials
15:59
Speaker 1: are encouraging California residence to add blank to their daily diet. Again,
16:08
Speaker 1: officials are encouraging California residents to add blank to their
16:14
Speaker 1: daily diet. That is the malor riddle, Love the day.
16:20
Speaker 1: The answer, We'll get to it and we will do it.
16:26
Speaker 3: Neck be sure to catch live editions of The Ben
16:28
Speaker 3: Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific
16:32
Speaker 3: on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app Bill.
16:35
Speaker 1: Miller and You. It is the Ben Malor Show, up
16:38
Speaker 1: all night, every night, hanging out with you, the third
16:42
Speaker 1: shift worker, naturally nocturnal or just hanging out late. You
16:51
Speaker 1: can't go to bed. Whatever's going on with you, get
16:55
Speaker 1: enough to take a whiz. Got a lot on your mind.
16:57
Speaker 1: We're here all night into the early morning hour, and
17:00
Speaker 1: later on it'll be Big Bend's lame jokes of the week.
17:04
Speaker 1: The best singer is the best one liners of the
17:06
Speaker 1: week coming up in a little bit. I know you're
17:11
Speaker 1: excited about I try to stay com Try to stay
17:14
Speaker 1: com It'll be coming up and you get interact with
17:19
Speaker 1: a live show. Say hello to Ben at Ben Maler.
17:21
Speaker 1: That's at Ben Mahler on x Lorena. According to Danny DeVito,
17:28
Speaker 1: Lorena is attractive, and you stay out to Lorena. It's radio.
17:32
Speaker 1: We're all attractive. Come on, we're all in radio. But
17:35
Speaker 1: say on Lorena and FSR Tech Queen and Cooper Loop. Uh,
17:42
Speaker 1: Bronco fan, that's you, h Bronco fan. All that coming
17:47
Speaker 1: your way when you send messages in your comments will
17:51
Speaker 1: be and can be used against you in the court
17:55
Speaker 1: of sports talk radio. And back to it we go
17:57
Speaker 1: right now and Bill, We're gonna do Bill the Riddle
18:03
Speaker 1: of the day, the payoff on the Riddle of the day.
18:06
Speaker 1: Officials are encouraging California residents to add blank to their
18:11
Speaker 1: daily diet. And that is the riddle. What is the answer?
18:15
Speaker 1: Let's see, does anyone know the answer? Scrooge says smoking
18:21
Speaker 1: two pounds of weed. William is going with poutine. Berg
18:25
Speaker 1: Dog says raising Cane's finger chicken fingers, Ranch dressing optional,
18:31
Speaker 1: No ranch dressing not allowed. What else do we have?
18:34
Speaker 1: The Fortnite Berger from Asher that's his answer to drink
18:40
Speaker 1: Tang from Late Night Drug tester Tiddley Winks from JT
18:46
Speaker 1: the Wingman page Down encouraging a daily diet of shot
18:51
Speaker 1: in freude from Miguel on Fire, root beer schnapps from
18:56
Speaker 1: Rob in Minnesota. J Dot in Utah says to drink
19:00
Speaker 1: thirty six beers a day and thirty six beers at
19:04
Speaker 1: night for a balanced diet. Who else do we have?
19:08
Speaker 1: King Roy says the Big Papa Pickle Margarita flavored beat box. Okay,
19:14
Speaker 1: very specific interesting. Yeah, Alf the Alien Opiner says BK's
19:19
Speaker 1: flame broiled meat loaves, sandwich and original Gino's pizza roles.
19:25
Speaker 1: You know, okay, that's old school. Alf Love's finding old
19:28
Speaker 1: stuff from back in the day. Deep fried pickle burrito
19:32
Speaker 1: from Eke and Roseville, Minnesota. Andy Inlino Lake says officials
19:38
Speaker 1: are asking residents in California to get at least one
19:41
Speaker 1: hour of the Ben Mallers showed daily. From Your Lips
19:44
Speaker 1: to God's Ears, absolutely Inca Terra says, some Baba gonoche.
19:50
Speaker 1: You gotta make the baba ga nouche. What else you have?
19:53
Speaker 1: Chase and NorCal says something involving the Oregon State beavers.
19:57
Speaker 1: Who else do we have? Pillow like mister Miagi from
20:03
Speaker 1: Ozzie Waz that's his answer. Can't read that, Fargo Pete says,
20:08
Speaker 1: add the Ben Maller show to your daily diet. Trucker
20:12
Speaker 1: Joe says, add some mercury. He can't. Can't see that one.
20:17
Speaker 1: They're getting read on the air. Beef tallow bro from
20:21
Speaker 1: Timothy and Northern Kentucky. Asparagus from DJ Spin. Let's see here, Zach,
20:28
Speaker 1: I don't think we're going to read that on the
20:30
Speaker 1: air page down. All right, that's enough, Lorrainea. Do you
20:35
Speaker 1: have an answer, Loraina, to the Mallard Riddle of the day,
20:38
Speaker 1: the Mallory Riddle of the day.
20:40
Speaker 4: Yes, spin, I think they want us to have more
20:43
Speaker 4: red Dy forty.
20:45
Speaker 1: More red Die forty. Is that the correct answer? Unfortunately?
20:49
Speaker 5: No.
20:50
Speaker 1: It turns out that the wildlife officials are encouraging California
20:54
Speaker 1: residents to add a rodent to their daily diet. They're
20:58
Speaker 1: trying to yes, you're an invasive species. They say the
21:04
Speaker 1: rodent taste like rabbit or dark meat of a turkey.
21:09
Speaker 1: And so, Loraina, will you be listening to the officials here?
21:12
Speaker 1: And it's a neutria. I believe it's called n U
21:15
Speaker 1: t r i A s.
21:18
Speaker 4: You can't eat nutria.
21:20
Speaker 1: That's what it says right here. I used to.
21:22
Speaker 4: Breed nutria up in Oregon. Really well no, but I
21:26
Speaker 4: used to feed them and their babies.
21:28
Speaker 1: Oh you know what they are?
21:28
Speaker 4: And then the moms would chase me, oh yeah, they're
21:30
Speaker 4: They kind of look like beavers, but they also look
21:33
Speaker 4: like rats because they have like their beavers with a rattail.
21:36
Speaker 1: That's good beaver knowledge.
21:39
Speaker 4: That is, I love nutrient. They even come in albino
21:42
Speaker 4: form at the wow.
21:44
Speaker 1: I didn't. I didn't realize you were an expert. But yeah,
21:46
Speaker 1: they're large semi aquatic rodents native native in South America,
21:51
Speaker 1: and they claim they are threatening the State of California's
21:54
Speaker 1: ecosystem by destroying the habitats and out competing native wildlife.
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Speaker 4: A nutrio that is crazy words.
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Speaker 1: People say, you gotta eat the it just it tastes
22:04
Speaker 1: like turkey, you know, or rabbit.
22:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, look it up, Coop, see if you'll eat.
22:08
Speaker 1: That, my guy, are the nutrients? But I'm bumped. Uh,
22:13
Speaker 1: my guy sports with Foeman was at a restaurant and
22:15
Speaker 1: they were serving kangaroo. Oh the restaurant. I would think
22:19
Speaker 1: kangaroo does not taste good because they're pretty strong. There's
22:23
Speaker 1: a lot of muscle there. I wonder if Ozzi was
22:26
Speaker 1: eating kangaroo.
22:27
Speaker 4: I should ask.
22:28
Speaker 1: Probably has, well, he's listening right now. Let us know
22:30
Speaker 1: Ozzi was. If you've eaten kangaroo? Yeah? Anyway, all right,
22:33
Speaker 1: it is the Ben Mallord Show. As we are pressing on,
22:37
Speaker 1: we'll take some phone calls right now. Coming up lame
22:39
Speaker 1: jokes of the week. A little bit later in the hour,
22:41
Speaker 1: let's say Hello to Floyd, who is in the Greater
22:45
Speaker 1: DC area and he is next on Fox. Hello, Floyd, welcome.
22:50
Speaker 5: Hey, what's going on everything?
22:52
Speaker 1: Man? You got the pipes, Floyd, you got the pipes.
22:57
Speaker 5: We discussed this. I tried to do the number four
22:59
Speaker 5: for you last time.
23:00
Speaker 4: You can try it again. But actually, why don't you
23:03
Speaker 4: try the number two?
23:07
Speaker 5: Come on?
23:08
Speaker 1: Come on? That was wrong with you? Man? Come all right,
23:13
Speaker 1: you want to do a number. How about you? We
23:15
Speaker 1: can rotate. Which number would you like to do, Mike
23:18
Speaker 1: or not? Mike cal Foyd? Which one would you like
23:20
Speaker 1: to do?
23:21
Speaker 5: It doesn't matter, whatever one, it doesn't matter.
23:25
Speaker 4: Can I can I give you some critiques?
23:29
Speaker 1: Well he hasn't even done it yet.
23:30
Speaker 4: Well no, but the last time he did it, I
23:32
Speaker 4: didn't use it because I didn't like it.
23:34
Speaker 5: Okay, I thought you could.
23:36
Speaker 4: I thought you could put your own personal touch on it.
23:38
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying, like, well, what it is
23:42
Speaker 5: is when when I try to do it, it doesn't
23:44
Speaker 5: come out natural. So it's talking normal and then saying
23:48
Speaker 5: it is, So.
23:51
Speaker 1: Why don't we just why don't we take it from
23:53
Speaker 1: the top and just just kind of in conversation.
23:55
Speaker 5: That's not even why I call it. But we can
23:57
Speaker 5: do that though.
23:58
Speaker 4: This poor guy he calls up to talk about sports,
24:00
Speaker 4: and then every time you're.
24:01
Speaker 1: Just like, you know, speak all right. The guy's got
24:05
Speaker 1: an amazing voice. What do you want? I mean? The
24:06
Speaker 1: guys is like Arry White, this guy unbelievable, the types
24:09
Speaker 1: of this guy. Yeah, nobody even knows who that is anymore, right, Floyd,
24:12
Speaker 1: nobody knows.
24:13
Speaker 5: No one knows who that is.
24:15
Speaker 1: You're the only, well the only two people that know
24:17
Speaker 1: who Barry White is. But that's fine anyway. Yeah, a date,
24:21
Speaker 1: it's a dated reference, I know, but that's fine. Who cares. Well,
24:26
Speaker 1: you want to talk, let's talk some basketball. Then we'll
24:27
Speaker 1: get out on the number number four for Floyd. So, yeah,
24:30
Speaker 1: you have the solution. You you have to answer to
24:34
Speaker 1: get to get the NBA back. Go ahead, what is
24:36
Speaker 1: it I do?
24:37
Speaker 5: So first, it's to fix the All Star Game, but
24:40
Speaker 5: in turn it also fixes the NBA season. So follow me, right, So,
24:46
Speaker 5: first of all, the commissioner would have to strip every
24:49
Speaker 5: one of their votes. He would have to commit make
24:52
Speaker 5: a committee maybe about fifteen twenty execs, old old basketball players,
25:00
Speaker 5: some people with some clouds, some people that are afraid
25:02
Speaker 5: to say say what they feel. They would be a chairman,
25:07
Speaker 5: one person he would lay that chairman would would give
25:12
Speaker 5: you the credentials and would also let you know, take questions,
25:17
Speaker 5: answer questions of who they select. What needs to happen
25:21
Speaker 5: is the game needs to be about money. So you
25:25
Speaker 5: get two maybe four investors, like you know, your your Amazon,
25:31
Speaker 5: your Apple whatever, get them to put about fifty million.
25:34
Speaker 5: If you do four, you get about two hundred million
25:36
Speaker 5: dollars up and you get five stars, you get five
25:41
Speaker 5: bench players, and you put the game up for two
25:45
Speaker 5: hundred million dollars. The winners get ten million dollars apiece,
25:51
Speaker 5: or if that's not enough, you make it twenty million
25:54
Speaker 5: dollars a piece. But what this does is it gets
25:58
Speaker 5: the game to additive. Then people will play for that
26:02
Speaker 5: sort of money.
26:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that the only issue with that. If I'm
26:05
Speaker 1: not mistaken, like the top the NBA All Star level players,
26:11
Speaker 1: like they're all making forty to fifty million dollars a
26:14
Speaker 1: year right now already?
26:15
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, but imagine another twenty on that.
26:20
Speaker 1: How about my I I got let me run my
26:21
Speaker 1: idea by it, Okay, but that I got an idea.
26:25
Speaker 1: So if you're an All Star and you're you're actually
26:29
Speaker 1: one of the better teams in the NBA. If you're
26:32
Speaker 1: on the team that loses the All Star Game or
26:34
Speaker 1: the conference, you you the team. Remember baseball did the
26:38
Speaker 1: home field advantage. I don't know we want to do that.
26:40
Speaker 1: But you you go down a slot. I don't know
26:43
Speaker 1: how it'll work because you have teams from all over
26:45
Speaker 1: the time.
26:45
Speaker 5: You got to think about money. The only thing that
26:48
Speaker 5: they're going to play for money.
26:50
Speaker 1: But they've never played making money. They never played for money.
26:54
Speaker 5: But look, look also, also what it does is it
26:57
Speaker 5: stops everybody from having a sore ankle or h yeah, pinky,
27:03
Speaker 5: because if you sit these games out, then the committee
27:06
Speaker 5: isn't gonna select you as an All Star. You're not
27:08
Speaker 5: gonna play for that money. And you're gonna get these
27:11
Speaker 5: young boys that's hungry. They're gonna be balling, they're gonna
27:14
Speaker 5: be playing every and it's gonna make the first half
27:17
Speaker 5: of the season competitive because they're gonna be trying to
27:21
Speaker 5: become All Stars, which in turn makes the second half
27:29
Speaker 5: of the season competitive because now you know the first
27:33
Speaker 5: half was competitive. So you gotta jumble. You gotta start
27:36
Speaker 5: separating good from bading. So the second half becomes good.
27:40
Speaker 5: So now because it's a both half of the season
27:45
Speaker 5: and you get money in their pocket, they're gonna play
27:47
Speaker 5: for money. They're gonna play defense for money. It ain't
27:50
Speaker 5: gonna be one hundred and ninety points scored, that's for sure.
27:54
Speaker 1: They made sure they made sure it's not one hundred
27:56
Speaker 1: ninety because they limited it was a weird well, if you.
27:59
Speaker 5: Put twenty million dollars per player, I guarantee you they
28:04
Speaker 5: started playing.
28:06
Speaker 1: It feels like these guys are making enough money, and
28:08
Speaker 1: it's just like wow out there in hustle aroun, I
28:11
Speaker 1: hear what you're saying, just very very smooth. Can you
28:17
Speaker 1: give me a number four? Can you give me a
28:19
Speaker 1: nice just in conversations like pause.
28:21
Speaker 5: Right before a regular number for.
28:26
Speaker 1: What do you think Lorraina?
28:28
Speaker 4: I think you should do again?
28:30
Speaker 5: Yeah, tell you should before I forget Lorraina. Before I
28:35
Speaker 5: forget Lorraina. I do want to apologize to you because
28:37
Speaker 5: the first time I called, I didn't know anything about
28:41
Speaker 5: like everybody switching and all of that you on the show,
28:45
Speaker 5: and I kind of maybe like flirted with you a
28:48
Speaker 5: little bit, and I just I'm not one to be
28:51
Speaker 5: simp step be calling up there trying to I have
28:55
Speaker 5: a beautiful woman, A beautiful.
28:58
Speaker 1: Woman, duly know you like when?
29:02
Speaker 5: That's even better?
29:03
Speaker 1: Okay, I see what he's getting at now, Unicornina it appears.
29:09
Speaker 1: But all right, well listen, very nice.
29:11
Speaker 5: What number what number did? What number did? Number four?
29:15
Speaker 5: Let me look, let me try so you want me
29:16
Speaker 5: to go deep?
29:17
Speaker 1: Right?
29:17
Speaker 4: I want you number two nice and deep?
29:19
Speaker 5: Yeah, alright, number two? Oh damn, number number four? Number two,
29:27
Speaker 5: number four?
29:31
Speaker 1: All right, we got a lot of stuff to work with. Okay,
29:33
Speaker 1: all right, thank you all. We'll see if but that
29:35
Speaker 1: we'll play that BA later and see. Yes, thanks when
29:38
Speaker 1: when the all.
29:39
Speaker 5: Start thing happens in this give me my credit. I
29:42
Speaker 5: get a lifetime goal ticket thing.
29:45
Speaker 1: Okay, well we'll celebrate you. We'll have a t thank you,
29:49
Speaker 1: thank you, Floyd. All right, there he goes the great
29:51
Speaker 1: voice guy Floyd there from d C. He's got the
29:54
Speaker 1: deep pipes. Oh this is interesting. Here is this correct? Coop?
29:58
Speaker 1: Am I seeing this name actor here? That is correct?
30:02
Speaker 1: I believe I am. Let's go now to South South
30:04
Speaker 1: O C halfway to San Diego, and we say hello
30:10
Speaker 1: to someone who we were not expecting to meet the
30:13
Speaker 1: other night. Cooper loop in the studio where she showed
30:15
Speaker 1: up and she stayed the entire show. Victoria, Hello, Victoria.
30:20
Speaker 3: Hello, Hi Ben, Hi Melissa, Yes.
30:23
Speaker 1: Him, Melissa Melisa. Oh I thought she said Melissa. She
30:28
Speaker 1: said it sounded like Melissa. All right, all right, anyway,
30:32
Speaker 1: all right Victoria, and you've worked on your lexicon? Yes?
30:36
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, absolutely, yeah, I got you.
30:39
Speaker 1: It's very exciting. Well, you just want to say hello.
30:43
Speaker 5: I just wanted to say hello.
30:44
Speaker 4: I wanted to say good night.
30:45
Speaker 2: I'm going to sleep.
30:47
Speaker 1: You guys have my sleep schedule all messed up because
30:50
Speaker 1: I had so much fun in the studio with you
30:52
Speaker 1: guys the other night.
30:53
Speaker 5: I just couldn't. I can't go to sleep now, so
30:56
Speaker 5: I'm gonna try.
30:57
Speaker 1: But I wanted to say good night.
30:59
Speaker 5: I hope you all have a few the full rest
31:00
Speaker 5: of your.
31:01
Speaker 3: Evening and or morning or wherever you are, whatever time
31:04
Speaker 3: it is. And yeah, thanks for having me.
31:07
Speaker 1: It was so much fun. All right. Coop has requested
31:11
Speaker 1: that you come back every Tuesday. You would like you
31:13
Speaker 1: to stop by every Tuesday? That correct, Cooper? Is it
31:15
Speaker 1: is it Thursday? Which day is it? Coop? I don't know.
31:18
Speaker 4: Well now now you're both putting words in my mouth, Vicky,
31:22
Speaker 4: can you drop me at number four?
31:24
Speaker 3: Please? Number four? That was beautiful, Thank you, thank you, thank.
31:32
Speaker 5: You very much.
31:32
Speaker 1: It sounds just like you sound.
31:34
Speaker 4: We do have very similar girlish tones.
31:37
Speaker 1: You do have the same cadence, the same Yeah.
31:41
Speaker 5: I just remembered what you did last time.
31:43
Speaker 3: I was just I was just going off that.
31:45
Speaker 4: I love you, Victoria, I love you all right, bye, Victoria.
31:50
Speaker 1: All right, it's a private conmis you know what you
31:52
Speaker 1: guys have each other's No, you don't need to do
31:53
Speaker 1: this on the year. Dare you? Thank you? What you
31:56
Speaker 1: call it? Vicky? Is there? You go?
31:58
Speaker 4: Victoria?
31:59
Speaker 1: Victoria? But you I know, but you call her.
32:01
Speaker 4: I know her as Vicky because I work with her,
32:02
Speaker 4: but her name is so.
32:03
Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to call her. I met her, so
32:06
Speaker 1: I can call her Vicky because I've met her. No Victory,
32:10
Speaker 1: I have to call her Victorious.
32:11
Speaker 4: Yes, because she's elegant, She's a lady. She's no longer
32:14
Speaker 4: a Vicky. You know what I'm saying.
32:16
Speaker 1: Oh, I got you? Yeah, okay, all right, well fine,
32:19
Speaker 1: we will move on. We are going to have is
32:22
Speaker 1: we man there by the way, We have him ready
32:23
Speaker 1: to go? Is he online? Yes?
32:26
Speaker 4: He's here and ready.
32:27
Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna have Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the
32:30
Speaker 1: Week for the rest of the hour. No going to sleep, Victoria,
32:33
Speaker 1: you gotta stay up for this Big Ben's Lame Jokes
32:35
Speaker 1: of the Week. We'll get to that. We'll do it next.
32:37
Speaker 3: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
32:39
Speaker 3: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
32:43
Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you. That's right, Ben Maller Show rolls on,
32:50
Speaker 1: and shortly after the Ben Mallor Show comes to its end,
32:54
Speaker 1: the podcast will be going up. If you missed any
32:57
Speaker 1: of the latest episode, be sure to check out the
33:00
Speaker 1: pod search mallor wherever you get your podcast, and be
33:05
Speaker 1: sure to follow, rate and review the podcast five stars.
33:09
Speaker 1: And since this is Friday, there'll be a bonus podcast.
33:12
Speaker 1: The Fifth Hour Pod will be going up with Me
33:15
Speaker 1: and Danny g only available in the podcast format. Again,
33:19
Speaker 1: just search mallor wherever you get your podcast. You'll see
33:23
Speaker 1: the latest episode posted right after we get done with
33:28
Speaker 1: the Ben Maler Show.
33:32
Speaker 3: Knock knock, who's there?
33:33
Speaker 1: Blame Weed, Blame we too.
33:35
Speaker 3: It's Big Man's Lame Joke of the Week.
33:38
Speaker 1: And let's go to Miami. His name is Billy, but
33:42
Speaker 1: on this show he is forever known as weed Man Hippie. Hello,
33:48
Speaker 1: weed Man, Ben, make me laugh? I love you? All right?
33:53
Speaker 1: You sure about that? Y okay? All right? These are
33:57
Speaker 1: actual jokes my actual listeners. Thank you all for sending
34:00
Speaker 1: your jokes in carav Benmaller Show at gmail dot com. Well,
34:03
Speaker 1: next year, the Girl Scouts are debuting a Lizzo inspired cookie.
34:07
Speaker 1: How about that one?
34:08
Speaker 5: Wow?
34:09
Speaker 1: Wow, it's gonna be called fat Mints, is what it's
34:12
Speaker 1: gonna be called. That's a econ Roseville, Minnesota. Let's see.
34:19
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can read that one over here.
34:20
Speaker 1: Why does Lizzo put the word shore on the back
34:23
Speaker 1: of sports uniforms? Why, well, she's as big as the
34:28
Speaker 1: Jersey shore. That's from Georgia and Uvalde, Texas. What does
34:34
Speaker 1: Lizzo look at to help her reach your weight loss goals?
34:38
Speaker 1: What naked pictures of weed Man? That's Surfer Todd, the
34:46
Speaker 1: comedian who won Lame Joke Writer of the Year. He said,
34:48
Speaker 1: for the third consecutive year. I thought it was just two,
34:50
Speaker 1: but third consecutive year. That is a dynasty for Surfer Todd,
34:54
Speaker 1: the comedian congratulations Todd, and your wife Lizzo was offered
34:58
Speaker 1: a job as a human annon ball or a trapeze
35:01
Speaker 1: artist at the circus. How about that one?
35:03
Speaker 3: Wow?
35:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, she declined, though, weed Man, she's afraid she'd get
35:08
Speaker 1: fired or she'd be let go. See that's yeah. Well
35:14
Speaker 1: did you hear that? Doj Dojo's Elon Musk called Lizzo
35:18
Speaker 1: his inspiration. No, I didn't here. Yeah, apparently she got
35:22
Speaker 1: McDonald's to lay off two thousand employees just by stop eating.
35:26
Speaker 1: When she stopped eating the Big Max. So Joe, Joe
35:30
Speaker 1: and Virginia Beach sent that one in. What's the difference
35:32
Speaker 1: between Lizzo and Dank Demass?
35:36
Speaker 3: What?
35:37
Speaker 1: Well, Lizzo enjoys a single banana, but Dank enjoys the
35:40
Speaker 1: whole tree. That's uh, Gordon Jordon at Ticola. Why was
35:46
Speaker 1: Lizzo being pestered while she visited the beach?
35:49
Speaker 3: Why?
35:50
Speaker 1: Well, she kept getting mistaken for that beached whale and
35:53
Speaker 1: that was the problem. Best Timothy in Northern Kentucky. What
35:57
Speaker 1: happened when Lizzo was honored on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?
36:01
Speaker 5: Wow?
36:03
Speaker 1: Well, what happened was weed Man? She made a big
36:06
Speaker 1: impression a really big impression. That's Chip and Maine. All right, Well,
36:13
Speaker 1: Lizzo loves going to Louisiana. What does Lizzo call fat Tuesday?
36:19
Speaker 1: What Tuesday? That's all she calls it. That's just Tuesday.
36:23
Speaker 1: That's Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. For the first time ever,
36:26
Speaker 1: for the first time ever, these are lame jokes in
36:28
Speaker 1: the week on the Ben mal Show. For the first
36:30
Speaker 1: time ever, there will be a halftime show at the
36:32
Speaker 1: twenty twenty six World Cup Final.
36:35
Speaker 3: Wow.
36:36
Speaker 1: Yeah. The only thing, the only thing that could be
36:39
Speaker 1: bigger is weed Man hippie able to show his teeth.
36:42
Speaker 1: That's Georgia in Rochester, Minnesota. Alight, what's the difference between
36:47
Speaker 1: weed man hippie and a cockroach? What a cockroach knows
36:52
Speaker 1: how to work for food? That's John John in Youngstown, Ohio.
36:58
Speaker 1: Weed Man just go an offer from PBS to host
37:03
Speaker 1: his own home improvement television show. Congratulations weed Man.
37:07
Speaker 5: Wow, that's great.
37:09
Speaker 1: Yeah. The show's name is this old box is the name.
37:16
Speaker 1: It's a good joke. That's a solid joke. Terry and
37:18
Speaker 1: Saint Paul, thank for that. Did you know that weed
37:21
Speaker 1: Man got a hemorrhoid at his a last job interview.
37:27
Speaker 5: Wow, what was it?
37:28
Speaker 1: What was during the background check? There? You got a
37:31
Speaker 1: little hemorrhoid there, Surfer Todd, That Surfer Todd the comedian.
37:35
Speaker 1: Now what do Kyrie Irving and weed Man have in common?
37:39
Speaker 5: What?
37:40
Speaker 1: They both have bum knees? They both have bum knees. Well,
37:46
Speaker 1: exciting news. Weed Man, Hippie's grandson is a chip off
37:50
Speaker 1: the old block. What were the little guy's first words?
37:53
Speaker 3: What?
37:54
Speaker 1: Well? Three words? I need money is the first the
37:58
Speaker 1: first three words. It's just like you. That's Dennis in Detroit. Coop.
38:03
Speaker 1: You got any jokes over there? Coop? Oh, I do?
38:06
Speaker 1: Come back to me?
38:07
Speaker 3: All right?
38:07
Speaker 1: Why did weed Man turn down free housing at the
38:10
Speaker 1: Louisville Horse Range horse Track? Because he is unstable? Unstables
38:18
Speaker 1: ship and name? Why is weed Man down in the dumps? Why?
38:23
Speaker 1: Because that's where you live? Weed Man? Come on, you
38:25
Speaker 1: live in the dump. That's a true in Minnesota. How
38:28
Speaker 1: many roommates does it take to change the light bulb?
38:32
Speaker 5: How many?
38:33
Speaker 1: Just one? But weed Man hate hates that he has
38:36
Speaker 1: to share the spotlight. I know, I know that's a
38:39
Speaker 1: court from there. All right? What do weed Man? What
38:42
Speaker 1: does weed Man take? How does we man take his steak?
38:45
Speaker 1: How does he take his steak? Medium? Puree? Is how
38:49
Speaker 1: you like it in Minnesota? That's the joke? Anything, Coop? No,
38:57
Speaker 1: did you already read this?
38:58
Speaker 4: Why will weed Man never puke?
39:00
Speaker 1: No?
39:00
Speaker 3: Why he doesn't like wasting food from Milkman?
39:05
Speaker 1: Mike? All right, thank you for that Milkman. Did hear
39:10
Speaker 1: Lizzo invited weed Man over for a dinner party?
39:13
Speaker 3: Wow?
39:14
Speaker 1: Yeah? The menu featured pot brownies and one obese joint.
39:18
Speaker 1: That's Jennifer in Cincinnati, who is blind Scott's favorite actor?
39:23
Speaker 1: Last one blind Scott's favorite actor. Hey, Christian Braille. That's
39:28
Speaker 1: from Kurt from her, thank you,