Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep69: Nick discovers identity theft dentistry; Evelyn keeps the ironing board.

Transcript

Ep69: Nick discovers identity theft dentistry; Evelyn keeps the ironing board. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's reverse Jackass.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you want to lead us in?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'll lead us in.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Uh hello everyone.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're tuning in to the old reverse jackass podcast.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's your first time here, welcome.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: If it's your 60th time here, welcome back.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: My name's Evelyn.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the Canadian Blade.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And here with me as always is Nick, still without a nickname, but we're gonna get him one.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna get him one before we wrap this whole thing up.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, Nick.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: Some people's presence is too strong for a nickname.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like Cher needs no nickname.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: You're right.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Cher and people know it.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Some people's presence are too strong.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: For some people, a nickname is a mnemonic.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um fair.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: And for some people, their name can only be associated with them.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like I think that I I like to think I ruin other Nick's for people.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of which I have a I have a Nick in my practice right now, which is cool, and he's a great therapist and a lovely guy, and his last name starts with an R.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh we have the uncomfortable thing where people people sometimes will say, Oh, what did Nick B say?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Blah, blah, blah.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes they ask about the other person, and I go, ah, we gotta figure out a different way to talk about that.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we can't.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: We're not doing that.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We are not no, as soon as you said his last name's R, I was like, oh, this is bad.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is not this isn't we do not condone that on this podcast.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: We don't like that.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um we set it out as one of the rules in episode one.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: I keep doing that.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you complied.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I did, and I have held up my end of the bargain, and yet the rules in the rules in episode one, I do notice someone else has not held up their end of the bargain.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't remember that, but I just want to say that outside of outside of when the when the mic is recording, Evelyn is like Huckleberry Finn over here.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, first of all, I'm not literally or figuratively doing that.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Neither of those things I am partaking in.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um I am They just gave Bill Maher the Mark Twain Award.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: They should give Evelyn a different Mark Twain award.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: The funny thing is, is that I have I do get feedback from people being like, one of the things they like about it is that I like about, and by it I mean this podcast, is that it's very noticeable that you curse and I don't on this podcast.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, interesting.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: One person chalked it up to just simply American versus Canadian, and I was like, Okay, I don't think so, because Canadians Canadians curse.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like do they?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: You get a bunch of yeah, you get a bunch of beer drinking, you know, Albertans out of the city.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know the word for it right now because the mic is on.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Albertans.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: What's the what's the nice way of saying this?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um so people have commented to you that I saw are they like that's distasteful?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_01: You should get them to stop?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are they No, it was very neutral.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, I notice that Nick curses and you don't.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: That was you don't curse, Nick likes where like it really is, it's uh it's noticeable in here.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna keep it that way.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Were they asking you to to maybe loosen up a little bit and to use some bad words?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: No, like if I wrote a bad word on this sheet of paper right now, would you read it and would your friends be happy that you did?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, let's give it a try.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, here we go.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: Just gonna just using my pen here.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Nick is Nick is writing on a piece of paper.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is compelling podcast material.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want you to think, I just want you to act.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: You ready?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna see this word and you're gonna say it out loud.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, ready?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Go.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Funky butt loving.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was gonna say, regardless of what you held up.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I was gonna say.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had it at the ready.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was in the it was in the teeth, it was ready to go, and you wrote it.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And great minds.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, and fools, fools seldom differ, my friend.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So there we are.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a nickname today.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: Pause.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Fools seldom differ.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, great minds think alike and fools seldom differ.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's the other part of that saying.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's another one for my collection.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know that.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I thought you would have.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: You usually know the second part often.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I collect them.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great yeah, great minds think alike and fools seldom differ.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: How interesting.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: What does that mean?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Fools seldom differ from what?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: Each other.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: So meaning great minds think alike and fools also think alike?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: I w I'm gonna have to sit with that.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But interesting.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I don't know.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Did I get it wrong?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Hold on, see now, see you again, as usual.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: The theme on the reverse jackass podcast is research.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Conversations that make Evelyn second guess herself.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Great minds think alike and fools.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: But fools seldom differ.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is, but great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: This serves as a warning about groupthink.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Guess what?
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna live my life how I want to.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh me and the rest of my Albertan homies.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: But just because two people agree doesn't mean they're geniuses, is kind of.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, I think it's like great minds tend to agree, but they also have their own individual thoughts.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Fools also think alike, but rarely have new ideas.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good interpretation of that.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I just want to say that amidst all the swear words, there's something for you all to learn.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: What's that, Nick?
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: What's the moral?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_01: What's the early thing?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Put it in the show notes.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: I still I'm still I'm still mulling this one over in my head.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: But that's fair.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: You just send it along anytime and I'll add that in the show notes in one of the tireless, exhaustive lists of things I have to do to start this podcast and make it happen.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: And by the way, plaintive though that is, yeah, don't you think it's better that you do it?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's or do you think it would be better if I did it?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, no.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think I would just No.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like I this really is an example of if I want it done right, I need to do it myself.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like it really is.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I and not as an insult to you.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: We are just tapping into both of our strengths here.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: Your strength is showing up and shooting from the hip and in a very authentic and convincing way and doing a great job at it.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know that that's only that's another one of those two part sayings?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: No, the part we always say is if you if you want it, no, if you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: What's the other thing?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, is the first half.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: The other part of it is so do it quietly and and stop bugging your friend.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I didn't know that.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds yeah, that sounds like a you know when you see those houses, like a century home with an addition put onto it, but the addition doesn't match the aesthetic of the original part.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like to me, that statement has the same vibe of a century home with a three-car garage with Teslas parked in it.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like a like a yeah, like that kind of that's kind of I feel like those two don't exactly go together, but you know what?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're my you're my friend, and I know you wouldn't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever pull the wool over my eyes, deceive me, be it wolf in sheep's clothing.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what other things you had in here?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean can't even understand the instinct.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think you would.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I think you could figure it out.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think you can figure it out.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, you know, my story's getting adjusted.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, it's a Nick day today, and I can't wait to hear what well thought out story you have for us today.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're like whatever nice prefabricated dolp of bullshit you have for us today.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: Bullshit doesn't have to be a good idea.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Get out your ladle.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Get out your uh we're scooping deep in the cooler of Nick stories.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: So this is gonna be this is gonna be the rare, that rare podcast where I use somebody's real name because it's important to the story.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And the theme for today is names.
• 7:27
  unknown: Oh.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: So uh my last name is Bagner.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: It is Hungarian.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's something not a lot of people know.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Hungary is a uh smaller country as countries go.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's not an enormous, enormous amount of Hungarians in the United States.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's not like a little Hungary in anybody's city, so it's one of those things where, you know, I kind of don't know much about it, people don't know much about it, and people don't recognize it this much.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: However, when I was uh 24, I was in West LA and I had a dental procedure that needed like I had a fake tooth that popped out and I needed to go to the dentist to get it fixed.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: And as it happened, there was a tiny little house that had been turned into a dentist office, like a block from where I lived in West LA.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: And in it, you know, I in front of it was a big sign that said Bruce King DDS.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I went in and set an appointment with Bruce King DDS because it was convenient.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: And he became my dentist, and I like going to the dentist.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, he did that operation for me, but he was also doing my cleanings and stuff, and really neat guy, huge guy, uh, 6'6, strong looking, you know, like just a big, tall, tough looking refrigerator of a human.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but like strong, like a big, strong, right?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like you would you would say, I wonder if he could pick up my car, at least one side of my car, kind of thing, right?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Nope, he's just scraping the plaque off of your bike husbands.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's what I'm saying.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: But the other thing about Dr.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: Bruce King is that he had a very thick accent, okay, which is interesting, right?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so he he says, you know, your name is is Bognar.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: That is from my country.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's Hungarian, isn't it?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yeah, it sure is.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Yeah, we pronounce that Bognar.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: He says it's very common in my country, but I don't meet a lot of people here with that.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, That's that's awesome.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Can I ask you a question?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, sure.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, You have a thick accent.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: You clearly didn't grow up here.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: How did you come by the name Bruce King?
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Well, my birth name is Laszlo.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: And he like lets loose with this fistful of consonants, like something that that these lips will never be able to pronounce, right?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: But Laszlo, I remember the first name, and then just this this you know, 18-syllable big rig of a last name that just came parling through.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, and he goes, he goes, but you know, I I came here, I moved to the United States, and it occurred to me that nobody was gonna want to have their mouth worked on by Laszlo, blah blah blah blah blah blah.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like people aren't gonna be able to find it in the phone book.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I needed to have a new name.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: He said, and my roommate when I was in dental school's name was Bruce King.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Oh, that sounds good.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I just changed my name to Bruce King also.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I like.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I went to the store and found one in my size and got the same thing.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: That one.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: It reminds me of the Chris Rock joke where he says, you know, like women will see their friends' boyfriends and go, I want that man, right?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, okay.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, it's like, yeah, he didn't do a variant on it, he didn't crowdsource it, he didn't like change it.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: He said, and it was his roommate.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is the guy I live with, this is my name now.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Occupation at its finest.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I said to him, Wow, how did he feel about that?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, Well, he didn't like it very much because then to differentiate us, they started calling me tall Bruce and him fat Bruce.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and I was like, Yeah, nice, yeah, yet he didn't like that.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: So somewhere there's another, I think he was also a dentist, there's another Bruce King DDS, somewhere perhaps in Missouri, who is still trying to shake off the fact that his friends go, hey, fat Bruce, uh, when he meets them at the bar, because his roommate who he was kind to just straight up stole his fucking name.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And not in a fun Ben Athlek movie way where like he finds it out years later because his whole identity has been stolen or something like that.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: But just in like a hey, how was your day today?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Pretty good.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: Call me Bruce kind of way.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Bruce what?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: Bruce King, just like you.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, if you're in West LA, he did a fabulous job of my teeth.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: He's too far away for me to see now, but I have nothing but positive things to say about Bruce King, other than if he likes your name, he will fucking steal it from you.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's gonna nab that thing.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thief in the night dentistry.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's what his that's what the dental office is called.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is he still practicing?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean I should look it up.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm just thinking at this point, he probably like, when did you move to West LA?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I moved in 2003, 2000, late 2002.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: 23 years ago.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, it's you know, but he was he was young.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: He could have been young, Bruce, also.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um let's see.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah, he's still at the same place.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh let's look at his website.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's now it's now listed as an dental emergency LA.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um let me see if I can find the about.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: He does snoring treatment.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: I should go see him.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh general dentist.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, Bruce, remember these?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'd flip up your top lip.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: No, he'll he'll say it's Nick now, Nick Bogner.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Nick.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he here he is.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let me um, he's obviously 23 years older, but this is not the this is him, but this is not the um Wait, Matthew Brooks, what the fuck is that?
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's him.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: I clicked on his picture.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um the blonde-haired guy?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's him?
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hilariously though, when you click his name on the previous page under Bruce King, it takes you to this Matthew Brooks page.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: So wait.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: This guy's a chameleon.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: This guy.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: Go to General Dentistry.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: General Dentistry and then um go uh go down to Meet Our Team at the bottom.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Say I have a español.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Nice.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Interestingly, the other ones are identified by their last initial.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's true.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's like Walter L, Iris L.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: But then also click Dr.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: King, click his name.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I'm clicking Dr.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Bruce King.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the link that it sends you to.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it has the name Matthew Brooks on it.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_01: How about that?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: This dude is already planning his next move.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is fantastic.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: So, our question, I mean, one of the questions for people, um, we want you to email us at reversejackass at gmail.com, and uh, we want you to tell us what's your next name?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: What's your next name gonna be?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: So my question for you Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Is what's the oddest thing you've ever stolen?
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: The oddest thing I've ever stolen.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we talked about we talked about shoplifting in episode one.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um did we?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we did, yeah.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a while.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we recorded that back in September of 2025, so it has been a while.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Who even was my co-host back then?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't know.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but I bet her name was Evelyn Flanagan.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: I bet her name was Matthew Brooks.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: That was so good.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I don't know if this would constitute a stealing.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: So uh this was in university.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: My good friend, she and I were roommates.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: We lived across the hall in residence in first year.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: We shared a house with three other people in second year, and in third year, she and I had our own apartment, just the two of us.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: She had a boyfriend at the time, and uh they uh eventually went to live in China together for a little bit.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: As you do, as you do, as as people who live in London do.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, you know what, what's the next biggest city up?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Beijing.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: So right of passage.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: I have I'll get there someday.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: And they moved together, but they still had a bunch of stuff here.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was one of those, hey, is there anything you want to keep here that you would use while I'm away, right?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because rather than putting all your stuff in storage, if there's something you can use, great.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I had a few of their things here, and the story ended somewhat tragically in that he was not being faithful.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so they broke up.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: She moved back here to Canada.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: She was from the East Coast, so she moved back there with some family.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I still had a bunch of her stuff here.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think she came here for a bit.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I don't really remember.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: This was this was pre-2009, I think.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: And this whole time I had his ironing board.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was using it, I didn't have one of my own.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: She moved back.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: We were talking about this, we were working through all these things, and I said, Well, I still have so-and-so's, I still have his ironing board.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Do you want to keep it?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I do.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: So to this day, in the room beside the very room that I am recording this podcast in, I have his ironing board, and I have no plans on returning it to his sad cheating ass.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I don't know if I would say I stole it.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like I didn't go seek it out, but I like to think that there are times in his life where he's literally like, oh gosh, I really need to iron my shirt.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, if only I had my old ironing board.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I I will never know of those moments.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure I'll never talk to this man again.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I like to think in every one of those moments, that's his penance for doing my friend dirty like that.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I like to think too that the the women he's with, henceforth, will just always wonder why he's so crinkled.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll comment on that.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: I bet the first phrase he learned in Chinese was do you have a clothes steamer?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like it might have been a one of those sentences, you know.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Boot up the you boot up a language app, they're teaching you business things like where is the room?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the meeting room?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the dry cleaners?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Where is the iron?
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: Where please pass the ironing board.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I'm really thinking that may that might have caught up with him.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, so it's not so much stealing, but it's a good story.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I love that I still have that ironing board with absolutely no plans on ever getting rid of it.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great ironing board.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's a trophy.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: It is a trophy at this point.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Even if like I don't even use an ironing board anymore.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have a steamer, I have a handheld steamer for anything that needs to be unwrinkled.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm still never getting rid of this ironing board.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, you'll have that forever.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'll have it forever.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: As well as the friends you made along the way.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so I want to tell you a story while we're still here and I still have the mic about about what did you say?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Fat Bruce and Big Bruce?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: Tall tall Bruce and Fat Bruce.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: Tall Bruce and Fat Bruce.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like this is a thing that people do.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: My mother-in-law was once uh involved in an aqua fit or aquafit, however you choose to say this.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's like a class, like an aerobic class in the pool.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: What what do you guys call it?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh swim aerobics.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we call it AquaFit.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, I didn't name it, so I can't take credit for it.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Wish I could.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Wish that was my claim to fame that I invented the term aqua fit.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe someday I'll come up with something just as catchy.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: And in their Aquafit class, like I mean, this was for seniors, and this group became quite close.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: And they would go out for breakfast together, they would have little social times together, and they met for Aquafit, I want maybe twice a week, maybe is what it was.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the best part of this is that there were two Brendas in this uh AquaFit class.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: And one Brenda was called uh Little Brenda.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And and because the Brendas definitely had different physiques, right?
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, one Brenda was called little Brenda, and the other Brenda was predictably Big Brenda.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Now that's that's insensitive.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let me tell you, I met Big Brenda.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: I met Big Brenda.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Big Brenda once brought over uh when Jay's dad had passed away.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: We were up at Jay's parents' place for a little bit, and people were bringing, you know, food over, you know, offering their condolences, that kind of thing.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: And lo and behold, someone rang the doorbell and Big Brenda was there.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: And a fog horn, followed by a timpany boom, boom, boom, boom.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: It was uh, yeah, this this whole town was dedicated to humiliating Big Brenda.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, Big Brenda, or like the boat horns.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Did a big red just pull in your driveway?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's just Big Brenda.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: She's brought with her a casserole or what?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, she brought a delightful homemade soup.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: It was so good.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it was in a bowl that I have coveted to this day that I can't figure out where to get.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna have to figure it.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was a large glass bowl, conical in nature, but not super narrow at the base.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: But the best part is it had a silicone lid that you could fold over the top.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So and for a seal, it was wonderful.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I need something like this.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I did not know who came over.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like until, you know, she she comes in the house, they're like, oh, it's Brenda.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not I'm not really thinking.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: There's lots to do at this point.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: She walks in the kitchen, I'm kind of at the other end of the kitchen, and Jay's mom was like, This is Brenda.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Okay.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: And she's like, you know, you know, from Aquafit, this is Big Brenda.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you, big Brenda, big is very misleading because Big Brenda, quote unquote, was about half of my size and simply tall.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: She was only tall.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: She was not big, she was just taller than the other Brenda.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: So little Brenda was short and big Brenda was tall, right?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're all I was hoping that little Brenda was gonna be 4'10 and Big Brenda was gonna be 5'1 or something like that.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think Brenda, Big Brenda still had like the high school basketball coach following her all over the school.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, you know, doing that.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, okay.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: But not even that tall.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe I don't even know if she was six foot.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't even think she was, I think she was just an average woman.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the real criminal here is little Brenda.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think little Brenda Little Brenda?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think I have at a different time.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: She was in fact a petite woman.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I would be so angry.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like I would be filled with rage if I was the second Brenda in this equation, and I was just an average, quote unquote, average-looking woman.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Who could shop at normal stores, finds her size everywhere, may have never had a body issue in her entire life.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden, in an aerobics class, I am slapped with the nickname Big Brenda.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Which is alliterative in addition to being questionable.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, in this case, that's the only thing it's got going for it is that it's alliterative.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, we call her Big Brenda Dorfaze.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: We call her stupid Brenda behind her back.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: We call her broke Brenda behind her back.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: A more, a more busted senior, the province of Ontario has never known.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: We call her illiterate Brenda.
• 21:57
  unknown: And she
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: She and she was so nice and so lovely.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And she knew her name was Big Brenda.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: She knew it.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: I would have burnt that whole community pool area down to the ground if someone if I was in a class and I was then someone else in there.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Can you think of a harder thing to burn than a pool?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, I would have incinerated that whole pool and burned up all those gallons of water.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, think again, I'm dropping match after match into the chlorine and just watching it burn.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna catch someday.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna catch you're gonna regret it.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: You're crumpling up newspapers and throwing them into the pool.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, the little kindling here, you're gonna pay.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, Big Brenda, just move that piece of paper a little further over, closer to the match.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: I like that you started that with bless your heart.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: That was so southern.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I loved it.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: That was really great.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: But you also know I'm determined.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if I had to set myself on fire and run into that building, I would be like, This is all I got.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is all I got.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I've got.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: This is what I've got.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: Love from Big Brenda.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: With love from Big Ev.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like, this is just so like the the name Big should never ever be like a prelude to someone else's name.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's insensitive.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Also known as a prefix for those non-musical types of what is it a prefix if it's not attached to the word?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not one word, right?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: Today I don't care, actually.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: But if you want to flesh this out, I'm more than happy to humor you.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: No, I think I just did.
• 23:33
  unknown: I think you did too.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think you did.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: I guess as far as we can go with that.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Comprehensive was the word I would use for that.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're right.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: Comprehensive Nick, that's what they call me.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm sure that's gonna catch on.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna catch it.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: No problem.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Comprehensive.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Just four additional syllables.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Not as a prefix, not as a adjective.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or a prelude.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: I actually think I'm just gonna text Jay.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think there was another.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want to say there was another.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: There was a thing with Gary's.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: Big Gary and little Gary.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hot Gary and Fungus Gary.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh they're like he loves mushrooms.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: He's a mushroom farmer.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, that's awesome.
• 24:12
  unknown: He's a mushroom farmer.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh no, he's the one here.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Gary with the spores.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta, we're in the weeds right now.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Close it out.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Big Brenda, little Brenda.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, what do I want to know from our listeners here?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: I want to know a few things.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And anything else you want to tell us, but I also want to know if there's a listener out there named Bruce King, could you and you're not a dentist or a roommate of a current dentist?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: Email us at reversejackass at gmail.com and please tell us, has anyone ever stolen your name?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Did you steal your name from somebody else?
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to become a Where do babies come from?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: Where do babies come from?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: And uh what should we do?
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: What should people who have children do with their collection of children's teeth after the tooth fairy apparently stops by?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: This is something I've heard a lot of parents wonder, what am I supposed to do with these?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you grind them into some kind of fat powder and then you either dispose of it responsibly or you bake it into your bread.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there you have it.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: This has been an incredibly educating.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: This has been one of my favorite episodes, and I'm not even joking.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: This has been fantastic.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: This has been great.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: I do want to make our listeners aware of something before we close out today, and that is there's a little something called fan mail.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: And if you listen to us through Buzzsprout, there is a feature that if you go to our website, which is let me just uh are you begging, by the way, while you're figuring this out.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are you begging?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh yes, of course.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you do.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you go to, if you if you ever want to leave us some fan mail, I mean, first of all, we'd love to hear it because Nick and I both have incredibly low self-esteem, and we do need people to tell us worse than you could ever imagine.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can't even imagine it.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we need people on the regular to tell us that we are worthy and we are appreciated, we're not too much.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: We are enough.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: All the things that you have heard out there, um, Nick and I are no exception to this.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to make sure, I almost said if you want to make sure we live to see another day.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's a hostage situation now.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's hostage.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, if you go to reversejackass.buzzsprout.com, there is a little button called fan mail, and you can actually leave us fan mail.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like?
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: We'll hear directly from you, and it's you're sending us a voicemail, is what you're doing.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: We would love to hear if you send us a voicemail.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: We would play it on the pod if you want us to, and if you don't want to, we'll probably still do it anyway.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: But that's reversejackass.buzzsprout.com.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: And you're gonna click on a little fan mail tab.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Do it.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn's begging you for it.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: This begging is only gonna get worse and more persistent and louder.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm never gonna give up.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: If you don't indulge her.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm never gonna give up.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna keep doing this.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna become insufferable, more insufferable.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe the only way to make me stop is to send us a little fan mail.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just is to negotiate with the terrorist.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know what?
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm in the building, I've got a weapon held under Nick's chin at the at the moment, and I'm willing to blow the roof off of this whole thing.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: And what can stop it is one simple little voicemail to reversejackass.buzzsprout.com.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: So thanks in advance for your voicemails.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for being here.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening to us.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: We love you.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: We're so glad you're here.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Nick.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: With me as always is Evelyn, the Canadian Blade.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Evelyn, say goodbye to these kind folks.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, goodbye, everyone.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna go do some deep thinking now.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties, others quarrel bitterly.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Stuck together through geography.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's reverse.