Latest / Stories That Live In Us / Louisiana: Red Lipstick, Hidden Heirlooms, and Family Secrets (with Arlene Rome) | Episode 101

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Louisiana: Red Lipstick, Hidden Heirlooms, and Family Secrets (with Arlene Rome) | Episode 101 · Stories That Live In Us

• 0:00
  Arlene Rome: And I would very often sneak over to see my grandmother lady.
• 0:08
  Crista Cowan: You are a silent little rebel is what you were.
• 0:11
  Arlene Rome: I was a silent rebel.
• 0:13
  Crista Cowan: Stories That Live in Us is a podcast that inspires you to form deep connections with your family, past, present, and future.
• 0:21
  Crista Cowan: I'm Crista Cowan, known online as The Barefoot Genealogist.
• 0:24
  Crista Cowan: Counting down to the upcoming celebration of America's 250th birthday, you'll meet families from each state whose stories are woven into the very fabric of America.
• 0:35
  Crista Cowan: Tales of immigration, migration, courage, and community that remind us that when we tell our stories, we strengthen the bonds that connect us.
• 0:44
  Crista Cowan: So join me for season two as we discover From Sea to Shining Sea the stories that live in us.
• 0:51
  Crista Cowan: Last October, my nephew, number five and I had the opportunity to go to New Orleans.
• 1:02
  Crista Cowan: Now, if you remember, back in episode 27, I had all seven of the nibblings on the podcast.
• 1:08
  Crista Cowan: And they talked about one of our family traditions, which is a 13th birthday trip.
• 1:14
  Crista Cowan: And this nephew chose to go to New Orleans, which I love.
• 1:19
  Crista Cowan: He chose it because of the food and the jazz.
• 1:22
  Crista Cowan: I love those things as well.
• 1:24
  Crista Cowan: But one of the reasons I really love New Orleans is because of the family that we have living there and the opportunity that I get to spend time with them when we go.
• 1:32
  Crista Cowan: This nephew was very accommodating and allowed me to take him to visit the old people and hear their stories.
• 1:41
  Crista Cowan: Now, if you want to know more about these particular cousins, that's way back in episode number one, where I tell all about my origins into family history, finding my great-great-grandmother Carrie, and then ultimately connecting with these cousins in New Orleans.
• 1:57
  Crista Cowan: But in all of our trips there over the last almost 15 years, there is one cousin there who I've never met.
• 2:06
  Crista Cowan: And I've never really understood the story of why I hadn't met her before until October, when we were sitting around a table talking about family history and sharing stories.
• 2:19
  Crista Cowan: And Arlene walked in.
• 2:21
  Crista Cowan: And Arlene didn't just walk in.
• 2:24
  Crista Cowan: She walked in, she walked straight to me and hugged me because we've been Facebook friends forever, but we've never met in person.
• 2:30
  Crista Cowan: She also walked in with an armful of photo albums and a head and a heart full of stories.
• 2:37
  Crista Cowan: So as we sat around that table in Louisiana, I fell in love with my cousin Arlene.
• 2:44
  Crista Cowan: And so I invited her on the podcast to share some of the stories that she shared around that table with us.
• 2:51
  Crista Cowan: What I didn't know was that it would also come out exactly why she had been estranged from the family and why reconnecting with us all was such a big deal to her.
• 3:03
  Crista Cowan: So not only are you going to listen in on my conversation with Arlene, but what you're not going to see is that my dad was sitting just off camera as we recorded with her because he wanted to meet her too, even though this time it was only virtually.
• 3:18
  Crista Cowan: Enjoy my conversation with Arlene Rome.
• 3:21
  Arlene Rome: Well, Arlene, I'm so excited to see you again.
• 3:24
  Arlene Rome: I know it.
• 3:25
  Arlene Rome: This is such a pleasure and an honor, and I was looking so forward to it.
• 3:28
  Arlene Rome: I've had this story for years in only my soul.
• 3:35
  Arlene Rome: And so it's so exciting to basically now share it instead of just, oh, it's so exciting.
• 3:42
  Crista Cowan: Yay, I'm so excited.
• 3:43
  Crista Cowan: Yes, of course.
• 3:44
  Crista Cowan: So um, let's just get everybody caught up a little bit on our relationship before we dive into your story.
• 3:50
  Crista Cowan: So you and I are second cousins, one time remote.
• 3:54
  Crista Cowan: Um got it.
• 3:55
  Crista Cowan: So back in episode one of the podcast, I told a story about Carrie.
• 4:00
  Crista Cowan: And Carrie is your great-grandmother, right?
• 4:04
  Crista Cowan: Correct.
• 4:05
  Crista Cowan: Okay, so it's you and then your dad that everybody calls Tat, right?
• 4:10
  Crista Cowan: Yes.
• 4:10
  Crista Cowan: Okay, and then Tat's mother is Helen.
• 4:13
  Crista Cowan: Correct.
• 4:14
  Crista Cowan: And so Helen is your grandmother, and then Helen's mother was Julia, and her father was Robert Cowan.
• 4:25
  Crista Cowan: Correct.
• 4:25
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 4:26
  Crista Cowan: And Robert Cowen is the brother of my great-grandfather, Frederick Cowen.
• 4:31
  Crista Cowan: Oh gosh, okay.
• 4:32
  Crista Cowan: I know.
• 4:33
  Crista Cowan: And and Carrie is their mother.
• 4:36
  Crista Cowan: So actually, you and I are third cousins.
• 4:38
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 4:39
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 4:40
  Crista Cowan: So your dad and my dad are second cousins.
• 4:43
  Crista Cowan: Got it.
• 4:44
  Crista Cowan: And Helen and my grandpa Fred are first cousins.
• 4:48
  Crista Cowan: Got it.
• 4:49
  Crista Cowan: And Robert and Frederick are brothers.
• 4:52
  Crista Cowan: That's so neat.
• 4:53
  Crista Cowan: And that's really neat.
• 4:54
  Crista Cowan: And Carrie is our great-great-grandmother.
• 4:58
  Arlene Rome: Gotcha.
• 4:59
  Crista Cowan: So what I would love to know first is a little bit about what life was like for you growing up in Louisiana.
• 5:09
  Arlene Rome: I I think when I grew up in Mettery, which is right side out of New Orleans, it was really a perfect time to grow up in this area because it was just being developed, and kids had the freedom just to roam and play.
• 5:24
  Arlene Rome: So most of the days were outside playing in the street.
• 5:28
  Arlene Rome: We rode bikes.
• 5:29
  Arlene Rome: We both played jacks.
• 5:31
  Arlene Rome: I uh I can claim that I'm the best jack player in the whole entire family.
• 5:36
  Arlene Rome: No one can beat me because I that's all I did is play jazz as a kid.
• 5:41
  Arlene Rome: And um the family got together a lot.
• 5:44
  Arlene Rome: I mean, I can recall every Sunday there was a family gathering.
• 5:50
  Arlene Rome: If it wasn't at my parents' home, it was at Aunt Betty's home, which you've had the honor of meeting, who's now deceased.
• 5:57
  Arlene Rome: It was at my grandmother's home.
• 5:59
  Arlene Rome: So there was a tight family unit for the majority of my childhood until about 10.
• 6:07
  Arlene Rome: And that's when things started breaking down.
• 6:10
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 6:10
  Arlene Rome: But I thought it was lovely.
• 6:12
  Arlene Rome: I mean, I have very fond memories of my childhood, which is sweet.
• 6:16
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 6:17
  Crista Cowan: Now I know um hearing from cousin Catherine, all the stories, Aunt Carmel's daughter, Catherine, all the stories about how many of the family members moved around a lot.
• 6:26
  Crista Cowan: Did you guys move a lot or did you stay in the same house?
• 6:30
  Arlene Rome: We stayed, um, we basically stayed in the same area.
• 6:34
  Arlene Rome: So we had one house that we grew up in that was in Mettery.
• 6:38
  Arlene Rome: And then when I was about 13, we moved again, but it was only like a mile and a half away.
• 6:44
  Arlene Rome: So it was very close.
• 6:46
  Arlene Rome: And then the the nice thing is both of my grandmothers, which were Helen Levy, which is part of your family, and my other side, Emily Mulassaw, they lived in what is now called Ometary, and they lived right around the corner from one another.
• 7:02
  Arlene Rome: So I could walk to their homes.
• 7:05
  Arlene Rome: If I was at one of them visiting, I could very easily just walk out the front door and walk to the other one's home, which I did often.
• 7:14
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 7:14
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 7:15
  Crista Cowan: I my grandma's lived an hour apart.
• 7:17
  Crista Cowan: And so you know, they were walking distance.
• 7:21
  Crista Cowan: That's amazing.
• 7:22
  Crista Cowan: And did they know each other?
• 7:23
  Crista Cowan: Were they friendly or no?
• 7:25
  Arlene Rome: They knew each other, and I do have one picture of um a gathering that was at Helen Levy's home, and it's such a valuable picture because my mother's in it, my uh grandmother Levy, Helen Levy's in it, and so is my grandmother, Malossom on the other side.
• 7:43
  Arlene Rome: So, to the best of my knowledge, that's the only picture where all three of them were together.
• 7:49
  Arlene Rome: And it looks like it was a Sunday afternoon.
• 7:52
  Arlene Rome: They're sitting out in the driveway in lawn chairs, and they're just the picture they're goofing off.
• 7:58
  Arlene Rome: I mean, you could really see that they were enjoying each other's company.
• 8:03
  Arlene Rome: One of them put a plate over her head, so but that's the only picture that I'm aware of where they're all three together, which I value extremely.
• 8:12
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 8:13
  Crista Cowan: I love that you have that treasure.
• 8:15
  Crista Cowan: So, so tell me what you remember about your grandmother Helen and her sisters, like Aunt Betty and Aunt Carmel and Aunt Bobby.
• 8:24
  Arlene Rome: I my uh Helen Levy, I adored her and she adored me.
• 8:29
  Arlene Rome: What I remember about her is um she always had red lipstick on.
• 8:36
  Arlene Rome: She had her nails always done in red.
• 8:40
  Arlene Rome: She drove a red convertible.
• 8:44
  Arlene Rome: Um, she was hotsi totsey, and she was so much fun and so loving.
• 8:50
  Arlene Rome: And she would drive down, which airline, um, with the convertible top down and the music playing.
• 8:59
  Arlene Rome: And that's what she would do with me on a Sunday afternoon.
• 9:03
  Arlene Rome: She always played.
• 9:04
  Arlene Rome: It was the A-track, the A-track old time players that she had in her automobile.
• 9:08
  Arlene Rome: And she played all the time.
• 9:11
  Arlene Rome: And when I hear it, I recall it's like it just happened yesterday.
• 9:15
  Arlene Rome: Uh, these boots were made for walking.
• 9:18
  Arlene Rome: That do you remember that song?
• 9:19
  Arlene Rome: I mean, that's the Sinatra, yeah.
• 9:21
  Arlene Rome: Yes, that was her song.
• 9:23
  Arlene Rome: Uh, every time we got in the automobile, she would press that button and that song would go glaring and our hair would blow, and she would have her red nail polish on.
• 9:33
  Arlene Rome: I just thought she was absolutely beautiful.
• 9:36
  Arlene Rome: Uh, I just enjoyed every moment that I could possibly be around her.
• 9:42
  Crista Cowan: Well, I love that.
• 9:43
  Crista Cowan: Now she only had two sons, so she didn't have any daughters, right?
• 9:47
  Arlene Rome: No, and I was the first granddaughter.
• 9:49
  Crista Cowan: Ah, there it is.
• 9:51
  Arlene Rome: I was the first granddaughter.
• 9:53
  Arlene Rome: Uh so she had my father, Tat Rome, that was the oldest, and then she divorced uh his father, and then she remarried Douglas Levy Sr.
• 10:05
  Arlene Rome: And then they had a son, which was little Dougie.
• 10:09
  Arlene Rome: That's what we called him, and I called him Uncle Dougie.
• 10:11
  Arlene Rome: Uh, but yeah, so being that I was the only out of all the children that were born at that time, I was the only granddaughter.
• 10:20
  Arlene Rome: So, and to her eyes, I was she used to just brush my hair and do my nails and um always doing beauty stuff.
• 10:30
  Arlene Rome: She had a lot of allergies, and she always, and at that time, they didn't have the medical knowledge that they have today.
• 10:38
  Arlene Rome: So she always smelt like uh Bix 44 because she had seasonal allergies and she was always sneezing, and um, she would and she had a lot of skin issues because she loved to garden and she was allergic to it, so she had poison Aviolon.
• 10:54
  Arlene Rome: But I don't think at the time she knew that, but her skin was always itching, and she was always putting lotion that smelled so divine uh on her to sort of soften the itch.
• 11:07
  Crista Cowan: Isn't that amazing how you can just think about something like the sound of a song or the smell of lotion and it just brings all those memories back?
• 11:16
  Arlene Rome: Oh, yeah, red lipstick will bring it back.
• 11:19
  Arlene Rome: Uh everything, I mean, everything about her, even though her time with me was so short of 12 years, the impact that she made on my life is pretty incredible.
• 11:31
  Arlene Rome: And how that impact is being passed on.
• 11:34
  Arlene Rome: She loved cats, and she had many, many cats inside and outside.
• 11:41
  Arlene Rome: And I have cats.
• 11:43
  Arlene Rome: Uh, my daughter has cats, my grandchildren, they have all grown up now in their own homes, and they all have cats.
• 11:51
  Arlene Rome: So it's really interesting how that just keeps going.
• 11:55
  Arlene Rome: And out of it's like cat, you know, none of us have dogs, but we all have cats.
• 12:00
  Crista Cowan: So tell me a little bit about like there was some like you had this idyllic childhood and metary, and and I find that a little hard to believe because I've been to New Orleans in the summer, and I'm pretty sure the sun was trying to kill me.
• 12:12
  Crista Cowan: So I don't well, so um you mentioned that when you were younger, your your things in your family kind of started to fall apart or things got kind of messy and complicated.
• 12:25
  Crista Cowan: Tell us a little bit about that.
• 12:26
  Arlene Rome: Yeah.
• 12:27
  Arlene Rome: I, you know, I don't know.
• 12:29
  Arlene Rome: I I think now looking back and just having a little bit more information by talking to some of the family members, is that um my adorable, precious grandmother, Helen Levy, didn't really like my mother, Gail Rome.
• 12:45
  Arlene Rome: And so there was always a discord and an uncomfortable feeling when those two were in a room together.
• 12:54
  Arlene Rome: And I something happened when I was around age nine, and they broke up per se.
• 13:02
  Arlene Rome: And they somewhat is how I feel as an adult, and even at that time, I was used as a weapon to punish my grandmother.
• 13:14
  Arlene Rome: And so up to being up to a certain point, I was at my grandmother Lady's house all the time, and I was always gone over there to go visit Aunt Betty and and Slidell, and then coming back home and staying with her, and then all of that stopped.
• 13:32
  Arlene Rome: The music stopped when I was about age nine, and I was not allowed to see my grandmother leaving, which just to this day that hurts extremely that the the family just disintegrated.
• 13:49
  Arlene Rome: So I didn't see Aunt Betty, I didn't see that whole side of the family after that point.
• 13:54
  Arlene Rome: Um, I didn't see my uncle, which was my uncle Dougie, um, my father's stepbrother.
• 14:02
  Arlene Rome: And it's very sad that you know, and I don't even know what actually happened.
• 14:08
  Arlene Rome: I just know that I was told that I could not go visit or see my grandma the lady.
• 14:16
  Crista Cowan: Oh, that's heartbreaking.
• 14:17
  Crista Cowan: You told me that story when I visited last fall, and I just sat kind of in awe of that.
• 14:24
  Crista Cowan: And and hearing you tell it this way after having just shared your love for her is really great.
• 14:31
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, it it was very and it it's impacted my life negatively and positive.
• 14:38
  Arlene Rome: The positive aspect of it is that I'm very involved with my grandchildren, and I don't use children as a weapon to get back at someone.
• 14:50
  Arlene Rome: Um, I I think, and they didn't have the knowledge, they didn't have the mental knowledge at that time.
• 14:55
  Arlene Rome: They were just surviving and doing the the best that they could.
• 14:59
  Arlene Rome: But it is very painful, even to this age, that uh I didn't get to see her as often as I wanted to.
• 15:09
  Crista Cowan: So, did you just suffer in silence with that change as a child, or did you rebel or did you throw fits about it?
• 15:16
  Crista Cowan: Like what did that look like?
• 15:18
  Arlene Rome: I was very silent.
• 15:19
  Arlene Rome: Uh, and since the two grandmothers lived so close to one another, if I was at my other grandmother's home, my grandmother in the lawsaw, which I was often, and at that time we had the freedom of going outside and spending the whole day wherever we wanted to go.
• 15:38
  Arlene Rome: And I would very often sneak over to see my grandmother leaving.
• 15:46
  Crista Cowan: You are a silent little rebel, is what you were.
• 15:49
  Arlene Rome: I was a silent rebel.
• 15:51
  Arlene Rome: So it as soon as I would get to my grandmother Melosaw's home, that was my first objective, is to figure it out when I could get out and escape to go see my grandmother leaving.
• 16:03
  Arlene Rome: She was always very open and willing, and it opened up her house and had ice cream and was just filled with joy when I would appear at her back door.
• 16:15
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 16:16
  Crista Cowan: Um, and now you have a brother, right?
• 16:19
  Arlene Rome: Yes, I had a brother, Wade Rome.
• 16:22
  Arlene Rome: He was um just 13, he was 18 months younger than I am, and he passed away in 2014.
• 16:31
  Arlene Rome: Okay.
• 16:31
  Arlene Rome: So sadly to say at this point, um, they're all gone.
• 16:35
  Arlene Rome: My mother passed away young, my father died, my brother died, both my grandmothers are deceased, and I'm out of that little family unit, I'm the last one standing.
• 16:47
  Arlene Rome: So it makes it very difficult now because I'm trying to put the family pieces together, but I don't have anyone to connect to to ask what happened here.
• 16:57
  Arlene Rome: And I have a picture and who is this?
• 16:59
  Arlene Rome: And tell me about them.
• 17:01
  Arlene Rome: That I didn't sit down with him, and I did try, but when I brought the photo album out, he was so emotional and he cried.
• 17:17
  Arlene Rome: And so I couldn't go any further with him.
• 17:20
  Arlene Rome: So I tried it twice, and the tears and the pain and the hurt that he had was too unbearable, and I just always thought I had tomorrow.
• 17:31
  Arlene Rome: So I said, okay, let's not do this now, let's come back to it.
• 17:36
  Arlene Rome: Not realizing that there wasn't time to go back to it.
• 17:40
  Arlene Rome: So I don't have the information that I wish I did.
• 17:45
  Crista Cowan: That's heartbreaking.
• 17:46
  Crista Cowan: Well, when so when you were little, sneaking out from one grandma's house to the other, did Wade go with you or was it just you?
• 17:54
  Arlene Rome: No, it was just me.
• 17:55
  Arlene Rome: Okay.
• 17:56
  Arlene Rome: It was just me.
• 17:57
  Arlene Rome: No, that secret I was keeping.
• 17:59
  Arlene Rome: I was not telling anyone.
• 18:02
  Arlene Rome: Uh, so I did not tell anyone except my best friend, and uh that's still my best friend, Susie Wood.
• 18:12
  Arlene Rome: She knew because her grandmother lived right around the corner, also.
• 18:16
  Arlene Rome: So at times I would say that I was going to Susie's grandmother, but I wasn't.
• 18:22
  Arlene Rome: I was going to my grandmother.
• 18:24
  Arlene Rome: So they were all so close.
• 18:26
  Arlene Rome: So it was very easy to navigate to get to my grandmother leaving.
• 18:30
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 18:31
  Arlene Rome: And not get into trouble.
• 18:32
  Crista Cowan: Oh my goodness.
• 18:33
  Crista Cowan: So this started when you were around eight or nine years old.
• 18:36
  Crista Cowan: Yes.
• 18:37
  Crista Cowan: And then how long that went on till you turned 12?
• 18:41
  Crista Cowan: You were 12 when she died, right?
• 18:44
  Arlene Rome: Yes, I was 12 when she died.
• 18:46
  Arlene Rome: And um just unexpectedly, I went to her home.
• 18:52
  Arlene Rome: I was at my friend's Susie, her my best friend's grandmother's home, which was right around the corner.
• 19:01
  Arlene Rome: And Susie didn't want to go with me originally to my grandmother's because you know how 12-year-olds are.
• 19:07
  Arlene Rome: I said, No, we're not going over there.
• 19:09
  Arlene Rome: We're playing ball out in the street.
• 19:10
  Arlene Rome: And I convinced Susie to go with me by the hardest.
• 19:14
  Arlene Rome: So we went to my grandmother's.
• 19:16
  Arlene Rome: Um, and I I didn't really knock on the door, I just sort of walked in.
• 19:21
  Arlene Rome: And she had, when you opened up the door, there were bells so that she would know someone was there.
• 19:27
  Arlene Rome: And the bells went off, and she got up out of the bed.
• 19:30
  Arlene Rome: Uh, she was very, very sick.
• 19:33
  Arlene Rome: She was very ill.
• 19:35
  Arlene Rome: How old was she at the time?
• 19:36
  Arlene Rome: She was 55.
• 19:38
  Arlene Rome: She was very young, early.
• 19:41
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, she was 55.
• 19:43
  Arlene Rome: Um, she was very sick, and but she did somewhat drag herself out of the bed.
• 19:50
  Arlene Rome: And I I didn't realize the severity of her illness or the and I didn't realize at that time I was young that that would have been the last time I would see her.
• 20:01
  Arlene Rome: But she basically said, I'm I'm really sick and I'm not feeling well, and I need to give you some things because if I don't give you these items, you will never get them.
• 20:15
  Arlene Rome: So she went around her home and she gave me the most treasurable gifts that, and I still have them.
• 20:24
  Arlene Rome: I mean, I treasure them.
• 20:26
  Arlene Rome: How they have survived all these years is beyond my comprehension.
• 20:31
  Arlene Rome: She gave me two photo albums, um, one of the family and then one of my father's uh birthing in his childhood.
• 20:40
  Arlene Rome: Uh, she gave me different things that I treasured in her home, music boxes that I used to go and listen to all the time.
• 20:48
  Arlene Rome: And they were today, that's unheard of, but they were cigarette boxes.
• 20:52
  Arlene Rome: She would put cigarettes in them and play the music, and cigarettes would roll out.
• 20:56
  Arlene Rome: So I would always put this pile up the cigarettes and then play the music, and then the cigarettes would just roll out of this precious wooden music box.
• 21:05
  Arlene Rome: Um, I was always in her bathroom, and there was a swan that she would utilize the soap, and when it got real small, she didn't throw it away.
• 21:16
  Arlene Rome: She would put it in this little swan, and then she would recreate the soap and uh to use it again.
• 21:23
  Arlene Rome: I know those days they didn't throw anything away.
• 21:26
  Arlene Rome: And oh, and the most and I forgot all about this till today when I was getting ready for to talk to you.
• 21:34
  Arlene Rome: She gave me uh my father's christening outfit that I have that Aunt Bobby, I think Aunt Bobby made it.
• 21:44
  Arlene Rome: And there was and there was a bunch of things that she gave me that I could not carry home by myself.
• 21:52
  Crista Cowan: This little 12 year old girl.
• 21:56
  Arlene Rome: Yes.
• 21:56
  Arlene Rome: So she basically I mean, she went around her home very quickly grabbing things to give to me.
• 22:06
  Arlene Rome: And to said, and she said, you know, I want you to have these things.
• 22:11
  Arlene Rome: And she apologized because she says, I would like to drive you back to Susie's grandmother, but I can't.
• 22:20
  Arlene Rome: I'm too sick.
• 22:21
  Arlene Rome: So Susie and I, she kissed me goodbye.
• 22:24
  Arlene Rome: She told me she loved me.
• 22:26
  Arlene Rome: And we walked out with all of these belongings that we couldn't even carry them all with each other.
• 22:33
  Arlene Rome: So what we did is that we walked like, you know, five steps and would put it down and then walk another five steps and go back and pick it up and then bring it back the five steps.
• 22:46
  Arlene Rome: And we did this all the way to Susie's grandmother's home.
• 22:50
  Arlene Rome: And then I was stuck with the situation.
• 22:55
  Arlene Rome: I couldn't bring it home because if I brought this home, my parents would know that I went over there.
• 23:01
  Arlene Rome: So I left it at Susie's grandmother's home.
• 23:05
  Arlene Rome: And slowly over time, piece by piece, I would go get it from Susie's grandmother's and then bring it back to my home and hide it so that my parents didn't know that I had all of these treasures.
• 23:20
  Arlene Rome: They they didn't know.
• 23:22
  Arlene Rome: So I'd hide them in the house.
• 23:24
  Crista Cowan: Wow.
• 23:25
  Crista Cowan: How long after that visit to your grandma Helen did she pass?
• 23:30
  Arlene Rome: The next day.
• 23:32
  Arlene Rome: So she knew.
• 23:35
  Arlene Rome: She basically, because the items she gave me were a true treasure that people wouldn't let go of.
• 23:44
  Arlene Rome: Somehow she knew.
• 23:46
  Arlene Rome: And when she died at that time, I was still at my other grandmother's home.
• 23:52
  Arlene Rome: And I was, they had a my grandmother lived behind, which I don't know if you're aware of swagments.
• 23:58
  Arlene Rome: Uh it was a grocery store that was very prominent at that time.
• 24:02
  Arlene Rome: And I was in the back of the parking lot throwing a ball, a tennis ball, up against a wall.
• 24:09
  Arlene Rome: And an ambulance came by.
• 24:12
  Arlene Rome: And unbeknown to me at that moment in time, it was my grandmother in the ambulance.
• 24:18
  Arlene Rome: And then I went back into my grandmother Melanç home.
• 24:23
  Arlene Rome: And my father and my mother were there because they were having a family gathering.
• 24:28
  Arlene Rome: And I don't even recall the who came over, but I do remember hearing someone telling my father, your mom died uh today.
• 24:40
  Arlene Rome: And it was, it was a quick, it was a very quick notification from the time I was in the back throwing the ball up against the wall, into coming inside and hearing someone tell my father his mother had died.
• 24:54
  Arlene Rome: And he hadn't talked to his mother in a couple of years.
• 24:58
  Arlene Rome: So I it was very extremely emotional that his mom was gone.
• 25:05
  Arlene Rome: Wow.
• 25:06
  Arlene Rome: Did you guys participate in the funeral at all?
• 25:09
  Arlene Rome: They participated in the funeral.
• 25:11
  Arlene Rome: My father did not allow me to go to the funeral.
• 25:15
  Arlene Rome: Um, and so that was hurtful uh because I did want to go to the funeral, but that wasn't allowed.
• 25:21
  Arlene Rome: And I think maybe since I didn't go to the funeral, my grandmother's grave is uh in Metary, um at Garden of Memories, and my brother's buried there too.
• 25:33
  Arlene Rome: But over all the years, I've go and visit my grandmother Levy.
• 25:39
  Arlene Rome: I know where her gravesite is, and um, so even though she wasn't with me, as soon as I got in that automobile and I could drive, I was at the gravesite.
• 25:51
  Crista Cowan: I love that.
• 25:52
  Crista Cowan: I've been to your grandmother's grave site.
• 25:55
  Crista Cowan: Oh, have you?
• 25:56
  Crista Cowan: I have.
• 25:57
  Crista Cowan: I went with my dad in the spring a couple years ago, and Catherine and Sharon and Marlene took us around to all the family grave sites and all the cemeteries in the Yeah, that's neat.
• 26:11
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, because a lot of them uh are buried there in the garden of memories.
• 26:15
  Arlene Rome: Well, which is neat because now when I go, I just have my list and I can very quickly go visit the whole family unit uh because they're all in one place.
• 26:24
  Arlene Rome: Well, that's so neat that you also went to her gravesite.
• 26:28
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, you know what?
• 26:29
  Crista Cowan: I I don't I'm sure you've probably listened to that first episode of the podcast about our great-great-grandmother.
• 26:36
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 26:36
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 26:38
  Crista Cowan: And it's so interesting to me like to get to know you better because for years, like I looked for your great your grandma Helen and her sisters.
• 26:49
  Crista Cowan: Like my grandfather sent me on that mission to find his cousins.
• 26:53
  Crista Cowan: And so I felt like I knew them, even though I didn't know anything about them.
• 26:58
  Crista Cowan: Like I had this sense of who they were, and I felt like I felt close to them.
• 27:03
  Crista Cowan: And so when I finally found the family on Facebook and connected with all the cousins, and then over the years, as I've developed these relationships with you all, it's just been so beautiful and meaningful to get to know who Helen and Betty and Carmel and Bobby really were and to hear these stories because I had this idea of them in my head and like this one little picture, and I wanted to know so much more.
• 27:28
  Crista Cowan: So you're filling in gaps for me just as much as it goes the other way for sure.
• 27:34
  Arlene Rome: Well, and these women were so incredibly strong and just tenacious in surviving life, no matter what took place, and they stuck together.
• 27:49
  Arlene Rome: And I didn't, as I'm sort of going into family history and figuring out these women and what they were all about, I'm just having such a greater appreciation for what they went through.
• 28:02
  Arlene Rome: And Aunt Betty, no matter what was going on, if someone needed a place to stay, including my father, um, she opened up her home.
• 28:10
  Arlene Rome: Aunt Betty did not say no, to the best of my knowledge, to anyone.
• 28:16
  Arlene Rome: If they needed a home, she opened up, and no matter how many children were in that home, she took another one in.
• 28:23
  Arlene Rome: Because my father, Tat, lived with Aunt Betty.
• 28:28
  Arlene Rome: There was some controversy about that.
• 28:30
  Arlene Rome: He tell he told me that he lived with Aunt Betty, but uh cousin Catherine said that they didn't live together, they were right across the street.
• 28:39
  Arlene Rome: But Helen Levy, when she was divorcing uh her first husband and remarrying, she was MIA a little bit in Ted's life.
• 28:51
  Arlene Rome: And so I I believe Tat, my father, when he said he lived with Aunt Betty and he treasured that side of the family.
• 29:00
  Arlene Rome: He talked, he always, if you would mention anything about Aunt Betty or that side of the family, he always would brighten up and have a smile, and you knew those were good memories for him.
• 29:12
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 29:12
  Crista Cowan: And yeah, and yet he was willing to cut off that side of his family because of his relationship with your mom.
• 29:18
  Crista Cowan: Is that kind of what it was?
• 29:20
  Arlene Rome: I think that's what happened.
• 29:21
  Arlene Rome: I you know, I think at some point he was put in a situation where he had to choose uh his mother or my mom.
• 29:29
  Arlene Rome: And my mom, out of the situation, won the battle for that time.
• 29:36
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 29:36
  Arlene Rome: And it the family disintegrated after that.
• 29:42
  Crista Cowan: So here you are, this 12-year-old who's lost your grandmother, and you've managed to squirrel away these treasures she gave you.
• 29:48
  Crista Cowan: Like and and you managed to keep hold of most of them or all of them?
• 29:54
  Arlene Rome: You know, I don't even recall everything that she gave me at that point.
• 29:59
  Arlene Rome: And um, but yes, there are some things um that I have.
• 30:04
  Arlene Rome: I mean, the christening gown, it's sitting right here.
• 30:06
  Arlene Rome: That and I, you know, I want to know, I've got to figure out.
• 30:10
  Arlene Rome: I'm sure one of the sisters made this.
• 30:14
  Arlene Rome: So in the the baby book, my grandmother Helen Levy says christening gown from Aunt Bobby.
• 30:21
  Arlene Rome: So was Aunt Bobby the Saintress?
• 30:23
  Arlene Rome: Did she so I think this it was made from one of the sisters?
• 30:30
  Crista Cowan: Well, Carrie was a seamstress, so that's how she supported herself before she got married because she was orphaned uh at a fairly young age and uh lived with her elderly grandparents.
• 30:42
  Crista Cowan: And so she supported herself as a seamstress, and then she got married finally and had children and was raising her family, and then her husband left her and she became a seamstress again, and that's how she supported herself and her teenage sons.
• 30:56
  Crista Cowan: And then uh years later, when uh Robert and Julia and and their four daughters, when Robert left them, Carrie went down with Julia back to New Orleans to raise those girls, and she went back to work, uh, which she was amazing as a seamstress to support those girls and raise them.
• 31:17
  Arlene Rome: That's amazing.
• 31:18
  Arlene Rome: Well, and then after listening to your podcast, and I have this photo album with pictures of the family that I don't know who they are, and I just so regret that.
• 31:30
  Arlene Rome: I have lots of pictures of Carrie in here.
• 31:34
  Arlene Rome: So I don't know when we met, and I know that the family was very rapidly going through the pictures.
• 31:40
  Arlene Rome: If you had time to look at the the photo album, but she's in this photo album a lot, and I think I think uh your grandfather is too.
• 31:52
  Arlene Rome: They're on the first page, yeah.
• 31:55
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, um, I had you had pictures of Carrie in that photo album that I had never seen before.
• 32:01
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, I know.
• 32:01
  Arlene Rome: Isn't it a treasure?
• 32:03
  Crista Cowan: It is.
• 32:04
  Arlene Rome: I mean, to have uh the all those those sisters and their husbands and the uncles, it's all in this book.
• 32:12
  Arlene Rome: And my grandmother that created this book, and you could see that she spent an enormous amount of time and love creating this book and to make sure that I received the book even at that young age of 12.
• 32:27
  Arlene Rome: Now, this photo album book, I had it for years, and when my father found out that I had it, I want to say it's probably after 10 years, after I had been hiding it.
• 32:44
  Crista Cowan: So you were an adult by the time he figured it out.
• 32:47
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:48
  Arlene Rome: Oh yeah, yeah, I didn't, I kept this a very um secret because I didn't want anyone to take it away.
• 32:55
  Arlene Rome: And so, no, I hid it.
• 32:58
  Arlene Rome: And but when my father did find out that I did have the photo albums, he requested to have the one that was all of his grandmother's and his uncles and stuff like that.
• 33:11
  Arlene Rome: And I gave it to him because I had two, and so I figured, you know, I'll give him one.
• 33:18
  Arlene Rome: So he hung on to this photo album public for a good 20 years.
• 33:23
  Arlene Rome: Oh wow.
• 33:23
  Arlene Rome: And and then there was a discord between my father and I, because my mother died, and then he remarried, and so my brother and I went to one side, and my father just sort of disappeared, and we didn't have any interaction with him.
• 33:38
  Arlene Rome: But in 2014, when my brother died, my brother's last dying wish was he wanted to see his father, and so my father did come to the bedside, um, and he did get to see my brother before he died, and um which was very touching.
• 34:00
  Arlene Rome: And and that was hard.
• 34:03
  Arlene Rome: I couldn't even when my father, I hadn't seen him in 20 years, and when my father came into the room, I couldn't emotionally stay there.
• 34:12
  Arlene Rome: I had to leave.
• 34:13
  Arlene Rome: I just emotionally it was just too much for me because I knew my brother was dying.
• 34:17
  Arlene Rome: He had pancreatic cancer.
• 34:19
  Arlene Rome: Um, and so and I knew that my father had the photo album, and so I rekindled that relationship with my father, um, which was very kind and rewarding.
• 34:33
  Arlene Rome: And I'm glad that I had that time with me until he died, passed away last year.
• 34:39
  Arlene Rome: And I didn't I didn't pick this up, I did not pick it up, probably about four months before his death.
• 34:47
  Arlene Rome: He came out of his bedroom, his office.
• 34:50
  Arlene Rome: He always had an office in all the homes that we that he ever lived in.
• 34:55
  Arlene Rome: And um, he gave me the photo album back.
• 34:58
  Arlene Rome: And I didn't I did not put it together that he was gonna die soon.
• 35:06
  Arlene Rome: He gave me the photo album.
• 35:08
  Arlene Rome: I I teared up because now it was back into my hands and my treasure.
• 35:15
  Arlene Rome: Oh, and and then a couple of months later he died.
• 35:18
  Arlene Rome: And he probably, you know, there's a strong possibility that if he wouldn't have given it to me, I wouldn't have gotten it.
• 35:27
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 35:28
  Arlene Rome: Um yeah.
• 35:30
  Arlene Rome: Yeah.
• 35:31
  Crista Cowan: So how old were you when your mom died?
• 35:34
  Arlene Rome: I was 27.
• 35:36
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 35:36
  Crista Cowan: So it was And were your parents together the whole time, or did they oh yeah, or did they split up?
• 35:43
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 35:44
  Arlene Rome: No.
• 35:44
  Arlene Rome: No, my parents were um, my mother adored my father to nauseating.
• 35:51
  Arlene Rome: I mean, everything was Tat, Tat, Tat.
• 35:55
  Arlene Rome: If Tat basically said we're all gonna drink milk for dinner, we all drank milk for dinner.
• 36:01
  Arlene Rome: She adored that man with everything inside of her.
• 36:06
  Arlene Rome: And um, so it was a hard death because she had lung cancer and she was sick for about a year and three months.
• 36:14
  Arlene Rome: Uh, and it would, and at that time, chemo was terrible.
• 36:18
  Arlene Rome: She smoked, uh, and it was a hard death.
• 36:22
  Arlene Rome: But my father stood by her.
• 36:24
  Arlene Rome: I mean, he was he was at the bedside all the time.
• 36:28
  Arlene Rome: And the one thing, and I don't know how this has happened.
• 36:32
  Arlene Rome: I was at the bedside when my mother died.
• 36:35
  Arlene Rome: I was at the bedside when my brother died, and I was at the bedside when my father died.
• 36:40
  Arlene Rome: So I was given the gift to be at all three of their bedsides when they basically passed on.
• 36:48
  Arlene Rome: Yeah.
• 36:50
  Arlene Rome: And that was very special.
• 36:52
  Crista Cowan: And aren't you a nurse?
• 36:54
  Arlene Rome: I am.
• 36:54
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, I thought so.
• 36:55
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 36:57
  Arlene Rome: I became a nurse after my mom died.
• 37:00
  Arlene Rome: Um, I didn't go to nursing school right after high school.
• 37:05
  Arlene Rome: Uh, but when my mom was sick, I felt so inadequate that I didn't have the knowledge base and to take care of her.
• 37:12
  Arlene Rome: I knew nothing.
• 37:13
  Arlene Rome: I knew, and I just I regretted that.
• 37:17
  Arlene Rome: And so that's how I went to nursing school because she was sick.
• 37:21
  Arlene Rome: And I wanted the knowledge base to be able to assist um with people that are sick.
• 37:30
  Arlene Rome: And yeah, hospice is usually is sort of my forte.
• 37:35
  Arlene Rome: I don't, I only work for hospice for a short period of time, but I'm basically if family members are passing, I can go to that bedside and um handle that passing on and assist them to where they need to go.
• 37:51
  Arlene Rome: So I'm not afraid of it.
• 37:52
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 37:53
  Crista Cowan: Well, it sounds like you've you had some personal experience to lean on.
• 37:57
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 37:58
  Arlene Rome: Yeah.
• 37:59
  Arlene Rome: The only one I wasn't at the bedside is my grandmother, Malosa.
• 38:03
  Arlene Rome: And I still to this day regret it because I was at the hospital and I directly asked the physician, Do you think she's gonna pass?
• 38:12
  Arlene Rome: And he says, Well, let's not go there yet.
• 38:15
  Arlene Rome: And she died that night and I had gone home.
• 38:18
  Crista Cowan: Dang it.
• 38:18
  Arlene Rome: So if I would have just stayed.
• 38:20
  Arlene Rome: So now I've just learned if I have that feeling, I just did.
• 38:23
  Arlene Rome: Like with my father, I just stayed the whole week.
• 38:26
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, it's like life is there's nothing more important than to be at their bedsides when they're crossing over.
• 38:34
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, that's beautiful.
• 38:35
  Crista Cowan: What a gift you have, it sounds like that's amazing.
• 38:40
  Crista Cowan: Um so after your so you and your father were not estranged then until after your mom died.
• 38:48
  Arlene Rome: Correct.
• 38:48
  Arlene Rome: My mom, when my mom died, um, he remarried.
• 38:53
  Arlene Rome: And that remarriage caused the little family breakup.
• 38:59
  Arlene Rome: And so probably a year, two years after he remarried, um, my brother and I stepped aside.
• 39:08
  Crista Cowan: How quickly did he remarry?
• 39:10
  Arlene Rome: I think it was about a year.
• 39:11
  Arlene Rome: It was quick.
• 39:13
  Crista Cowan: That's quick.
• 39:13
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, it was quick.
• 39:15
  Crista Cowan: It was quick.
• 39:15
  Crista Cowan: Are you okay telling that story?
• 39:18
  Crista Cowan: Is that yeah, because like it's someone he knew and someone you knew, right?
• 39:22
  Crista Cowan: That he married.
• 39:24
  Arlene Rome: Yes.
• 39:24
  Arlene Rome: Um, he married my mother's best friend always as a child, and as an adult, was always at the house uh with her children.
• 39:38
  Arlene Rome: She had five children.
• 39:39
  Crista Cowan: Oh goodness.
• 39:40
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, she had a lot, she had she had children, and the children were always at the house also.
• 39:45
  Arlene Rome: Um, and she was just somewhat considered a a daughter to the family.
• 39:53
  Arlene Rome: She had also friends with my grandmother Malasson.
• 39:57
  Arlene Rome: And so it was just one big happy family, which I thought because I was young.
• 40:04
  Arlene Rome: And um the as the years went by, it was identified that she had a child by my grandfather.
• 40:15
  Arlene Rome: They called him Bunnel Boy.
• 40:18
  Arlene Rome: He was uh part of the racetrack, and they called him Bunnel Boy because when he was younger, he used to deliver uh the newspapers, and that's how he got the nickname Bunnel Boy.
• 40:27
  Arlene Rome: So they had a child together.
• 40:30
  Crista Cowan: And was he still married to your grandmother molasso at the time?
• 40:34
  Arlene Rome: Okay, yes, they were still married.
• 40:36
  Arlene Rome: Um and so, yes, and it was my mom's best friend, and we had Thanksgiving dinner, and um, I played with her children.
• 40:45
  Arlene Rome: It was just one big happy unit.
• 40:49
  Arlene Rome: When the child that was born, it was very quickly identifiable that that was my grandfather's child.
• 40:59
  Arlene Rome: So my brother and myself called it to my mom's attention.
• 41:05
  Arlene Rome: Uh, and we said, She looks a lot like you, mom.
• 41:10
  Arlene Rome: And we were scolded.
• 41:12
  Arlene Rome: We were scolded big time for saying that.
• 41:15
  Arlene Rome: How old were you?
• 41:16
  Crista Cowan: How old were you when that happened?
• 41:18
  Arlene Rome: Seven or eight.
• 41:19
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 41:21
  Crista Cowan: So this is around the same time that the the breakup with the other side of the family is happening.
• 41:25
  Arlene Rome: Yep.
• 41:26
  Arlene Rome: Oh, mess messy.
• 41:28
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:29
  Arlene Rome: It it really was.
• 41:30
  Arlene Rome: So my you know, my brother and I would talk about it, but we did not ever bring it up to my mom.
• 41:37
  Arlene Rome: Well, when my mom was dying on her deathbed, she told us.
• 41:44
  Arlene Rome: And it all came out at that point.
• 41:49
  Arlene Rome: But it was, I mean, we all knew it anyhow.
• 41:51
  Arlene Rome: I mean, it wasn't anything she was telling us that we didn't know.
• 41:54
  Arlene Rome: And then shortly after, um, Bunnelboy had already died, and so, and uh, at this point, my father starts dating and marries her.
• 42:06
  Arlene Rome: And so that's when it caused a little strive in the family unit, where we none of us would accept that.
• 42:18
  Arlene Rome: And so my brother and I went to one side, and my father went to that side of the family and created a whole family unit and her five children, and became very close and intuite into that side of the family.
• 42:35
  Crista Cowan: And I tell you tell it so matter-of-factly, and yet in my brain, all I'm hearing is this man married his father-in-law's mistress and is now the stepfather to his dead wife's half-sister.
• 42:52
  Crista Cowan: Like, like that's the relationships here.
• 42:56
  Crista Cowan: It's no wonder you were upset.
• 42:58
  Crista Cowan: Um, and and you think about that, and well, yeah.
• 43:04
  Crista Cowan: Um so when you say you went to one side, was your grandmother molasso still alive at this time or had she passed as well?
• 43:11
  Arlene Rome: No, she was still alive.
• 43:12
  Crista Cowan: So when you say you went to one side of the family, you've been cut off from the cowan side of the family from childhood.
• 43:20
  Crista Cowan: Now you're cut off from your dad, and and the woman who was your mother's best friends.
• 43:26
  Arlene Rome: Yes, who was always at the house.
• 43:27
  Arlene Rome: Yes.
• 43:28
  Crista Cowan: And your mom's dead, your grandparents are dead.
• 43:30
  Crista Cowan: It's really now just you and your brother.
• 43:33
  Arlene Rome: Yes.
• 43:33
  Arlene Rome: And my grandmother, Malossa, who was still living.
• 43:36
  Arlene Rome: Uh um, funnel boy, you know, it was her husband that was having this affair, and she was still living.
• 43:45
  Arlene Rome: So, and she basically came on our side.
• 43:48
  Arlene Rome: She did not, she never, never admitted that there was an affair going on.
• 43:55
  Arlene Rome: Um, but she knew it.
• 43:56
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, she knew it.
• 43:58
  Arlene Rome: She knew it.
• 43:59
  Arlene Rome: But she never admitted it.
• 44:01
  Arlene Rome: So when had my father married, um, she didn't want to have anything to do with my father, and it all broke up again.
• 44:11
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 44:11
  Arlene Rome: So the family unit that I had that I thought was disintegrated again.
• 44:18
  Arlene Rome: Um, and so we went to one side and my father went to them.
• 44:23
  Crista Cowan: So you had to overcome not just your animosity towards your dad, but you had to deal with her while you were watching him die.
• 44:31
  Crista Cowan: Yes.
• 44:32
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 44:32
  Crista Cowan: And they wonder, no wonder he gave you the photo album.
• 44:36
  Arlene Rome: Yeah.
• 44:36
  Crista Cowan: Because she would have ended up with it, right?
• 44:38
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 44:39
  Crista Cowan: Yeah.
• 44:40
  Arlene Rome: Now after his death, uh, she was extremely very gracious in allowing me to go through my father's uh belongings.
• 44:48
  Arlene Rome: And she said, you know, take whatever you want, um, which was very gracious considering the the history and everything else.
• 44:57
  Arlene Rome: And I did I did appreciate that.
• 45:00
  Crista Cowan: So so you and your brother, and then you lose your grandmother, but you have you have a daughter.
• 45:08
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, you just have the one child.
• 45:10
  Arlene Rome: I have one daughter, okay.
• 45:12
  Arlene Rome: One daughter, Tiffany.
• 45:13
  Arlene Rome: And how many grandkids?
• 45:15
  Arlene Rome: I have three.
• 45:17
  Crista Cowan: Okay.
• 45:18
  Arlene Rome: So basically, Tiffany has given me three absolutely uh wonderful grandchildren that I completely adore.
• 45:24
  Arlene Rome: And but I had a good, my grandmother Levy taught me how to be a grandmother.
• 45:29
  Arlene Rome: And so I use all of her strategies and relationships and everything that she taught me in those few years that she was in my life.
• 45:39
  Arlene Rome: And uh, so I have Alex, Alexandra is what she wants to be called now.
• 45:43
  Arlene Rome: Uh, she's the oldest, she's 27, and then there's Zach, who's um 22, and then there's Madeline that's um 19.
• 45:53
  Arlene Rome: I had to think because they they they get old so quickly, and it's like, how old are you?
• 45:58
  Arlene Rome: Um so I do um have a very tight relationship with all three of them, and I don't use them as a weapon.
• 46:07
  Arlene Rome: I don't know what goes on.
• 46:11
  Arlene Rome: They are not used as a weapon at all.
• 46:13
  Arlene Rome: Because I was definitely used as a weapon, yeah.
• 46:16
  Crista Cowan: Uh well, I'm sorry that that was your experience, but it sounds like you learned what you needed to learn.
• 46:23
  Arlene Rome: You know, it's it's um you you just there's been many, many years of sorting through it and looking at it at the different angles and working through it and trying to understand what they were going through and treasuring the positive things that I received from it and the gifts in some sort of way, I am the family heirloom porter.
• 46:48
  Arlene Rome: So I oh, I don't I I have to organize this stuff because I have stuff from Helen Levy, my grandmother-in-law song, my mom, my brother, my father, her and my grandmother, her, her mother, and her grandmother.
• 47:05
  Arlene Rome: So if something happens to me, no one knows what all of this stuff is.
• 47:10
  Arlene Rome: So I'd I'd have to spend some time organizing and taking pictures so that I can pass it on and they know what this is.
• 47:18
  Arlene Rome: Because they would look at this christening gown and basically say, I don't know what this is, sell it.
• 47:23
  Arlene Rome: So they have to, I have to get this information from me to the family so that they can treasure it.
• 47:32
  Crista Cowan: Yeah, wow.
• 47:32
  Crista Cowan: Well, in spite of your messy family upbringing, the fact that you have such a depth of feeling for and connection to not just your children and grandchildren and future great-grandchildren, and you're already thinking about them, obviously, and thinking about how to preserve this stuff for them, but you still have a connection to Louisiana.
• 47:54
  Crista Cowan: And I got to meet you because you live there.
• 47:57
  Arlene Rome: Yeah, that was so that was such a treat.
• 47:59
  Arlene Rome: And I don't know if you're aware, but the four sisters, um, Sharon has put it together that we're getting together to try to figure out the family history.
• 48:13
  Arlene Rome: So we had a meeting, which was so intriguing to sit down at the table with all of those ladies.
• 48:20
  Arlene Rome: Uh, I walked away and it was like, oh my gosh, the strength and the intensity that these ladies have to survive.
• 48:28
  Arlene Rome: And so I'm hoping that they'll continue on because I did uh get a lot of family information.
• 48:35
  Crista Cowan: Well, Arlene, I could talk to you for hours and hours.
• 48:37
  Crista Cowan: We'll have to do this again when we're not being recorded for the podcast.
• 48:42
  Arlene Rome: I even forgot that we're being recorded.
• 48:44
  Arlene Rome: So uh but it was such an honor to basically get this story out because up to basically maybe the past after my father died, I didn't tell anyone that story.
• 48:59
  Arlene Rome: So no one knew that I had these belongings and that how I were was able to see my grandmother the day before she died, where she so graciously gave me all this stuff, and I just I didn't tell anyone.
• 49:15
  Crista Cowan: Well, I am honored.
• 49:16
  Crista Cowan: I am honored that you shared this story with me when I visited in the fall.
• 49:19
  Crista Cowan: I am honored that you were willing to come and share it with all of us here.
• 49:23
  Arlene Rome: Oh, well, thank you.
• 49:24
  Arlene Rome: This was just a a treat, and uh I love listening to your podcast.
• 49:29
  Arlene Rome: Uh they're they're basically I get to uh put the pieces together and the puzzle of who's who and the family members, and they're very intriguing.
• 49:38
  Arlene Rome: So thank you for what you do.
• 49:40
  Arlene Rome: Studio sponsored by Ancestry.