Latest / Men Helping Men / Men Helping Men Episode 29

Transcript

Men Helping Men Episode 29 · Men Helping Men

6:37
Live as beloved son Aloha. Good afternoon.
6:39
Welcome to Men Helping Men. I'm your host Kevin Anderson,
6:42
joined by our executive producer Brandon Ortiz, Pastor Doug
6:46
Chong, and founder of Men Helping Men and also Song Radio,
6:50
the amazing music we are so fortunate to listen to here, not
6:54
just music, but doctrine sound, music that really reaches and
6:58
touches the hearts of truth. And Doug, I think this song is
7:03
really kind of intimate with you and special to you.
7:06
But why are so many, why so many swear they're right but never
7:10
let God test them? Doug.
7:13
Yeah, and that's what the song is saying, Kevin.
7:15
It's it's God's word is the I always call it the angiogram.
7:20
That's how you do the X-ray, your heart, you know, to check
7:24
where the clogged arteries are. See, we think we're good.
7:28
We're thinking all right, until we, we test it against God's
7:31
Word. His word is accurate.
7:34
His word is a standard. They say this song says the
7:36
problem is a sinful heart. That's where the prisons are.
7:40
Somebody got hurt. Now they their heart turned
7:43
stone. Now they trust their feelings
7:48
more than God on the throne. Now they call evil wisdom, they
7:53
call pride self respect. But the word of God shows the
7:57
soul got wrecked. So that's exactly 100% true.
8:03
When the hurt in our hearts from the past, from present infects
8:09
us, is still there, the memories are still there.
8:12
Satan doesn't have to do much to get us to explode or to
8:17
overreact, quote UN quote. You know, it's, it's, it's
8:21
amazing how how many people carry that on the frontal lobe
8:25
of their brain. It's not even, you know, we can
8:27
bury it at times and cope with it, but you know, our, we can't
8:30
control our memories. It's like controlling your
8:33
dreams. It's whatever pops in your head,
8:35
pops in your head, whatever thoughts pop in your head, pop
8:38
in your head. How do you deal with it?
8:40
We got to bury it. Again, like I said, only with
8:43
God can he heal the heart. That's like going to court.
8:48
And the judge, I see the judge is God and he can reprogram the
8:51
computer of our hearts. And what he'll do is he'll
8:54
reprogram it, put in the laws of this, this, this world, this,
8:58
the state, the federal government not have a problem
9:01
anymore. People will just obey.
9:03
Problem is we got our own instructions.
9:05
We got our own ways, we got our own hurts.
9:08
So we don't follow the letter of the law.
9:11
And that's the same thing with Christianity kept it's not
9:14
following the letter of the law, it's building a relationship
9:18
with God, feeling the love, knowing the love and and
9:23
experiencing the walk with God. So you want to, you want to
9:29
follow him, you want to do his will.
9:32
You want to make him please and proud because you owe him your
9:36
life and you actually know it. And Doug, that actually comes
9:40
from having a, an intimate relationship with him built over
9:45
not just one day, 2 days, but over a period of time where you
9:48
get to know the character of God in his heart towards you.
9:51
Why he wants you to live in that place of not holding grudges and
9:55
not holding that sin in your heart, 'cause as you said, Doug,
9:58
you know, it's also part of the song that says that's the cancer
10:01
of your, of your, of your heart getting like the sin called
10:04
cancer that's in there. And it resides in us until we
10:08
actually are, you know, we come to terms with and face that and,
10:11
and, and be willing to look at that.
10:13
And the, the word of God is, is, is the mirror that, that shines
10:17
the light on that truth inside of us.
10:19
And, you know, it's very exposing.
10:21
It's very revealing. Like I said, it's the angiogram.
10:23
It reveals what's really going on inside of us.
10:26
Yeah, and that's, and that's the the difference is we can see it
10:30
at times. And like I said before this
10:33
season that I'm animal. Four or five years ago, I knew
10:38
God's word. Problem is I couldn't change,
10:42
didn't know how to change. So I knew I had unforgiveness in
10:45
my heart. I knew I had some deep wounds in
10:49
there, but how, how do you heal that?
10:51
How do you forgive? How do you love your enemy?
10:54
I can't even forgive my enemy. I don't even like my enemy, let
10:57
alone love my enemy. And I couldn't figure it out and
11:02
go to the pastors and they say have faith, pray.
11:05
I did, I did and I did, but nothing changed.
11:09
And you, you watch on YouTube you a lot of people said I tried
11:11
Christianity but it didn't work because they didn't do it
11:15
correctly. Remember back to the basics.
11:18
Why did God create Adam for a daily intimate relationship with
11:23
him? When sin came into the picture
11:26
through Eve, then Adam that separated them.
11:29
God cannot be around sinful people.
11:32
The whole plan of redemption is to what?
11:34
Redeem us to just say we're Christians like we're a Democrat
11:38
or Republican or I have a membership at the club or or 24
11:42
Hour Fitness and that's it. No.
11:45
It's to restore or to revisit that daily intimate relationship
11:51
with God. So it's like getting a dog.
11:54
You don't get a dog and you put it in the kennel and you leave
11:56
it there. You bring it out one hour on
11:58
Sunday and one hour on Wednesday.
11:59
You say why, why, why have a dog?
12:01
Then you can put them in the kennel the rest of the time.
12:03
That's, that's, that's what we do.
12:04
We got, we, we, we let him out one hour on, on Sunday, maybe an
12:09
hour and a half because you got worship and an hour on
12:12
Wednesday. That's not enough.
12:13
You're dead. It's the relationship we can
12:16
remember. It's living with him.
12:18
Heaven represents living with God every single day, having a
12:23
daily intimate relationship with God every single day.
12:27
And that's the joy of a Christian going to heaven.
12:31
If you don't want that, you don't feel that you're not going
12:35
to heaven. That's what heaven is, and
12:39
that's why God created us. What is the purpose of life?
12:43
To build an intimate, daily relationship with God and show
12:48
His love, grace, and mercy to others and help others build a
12:53
daily intimate relationship with God.
12:56
So it changes their destiny. Everyone is born with sin,
13:01
headed to hell. God changes that.
13:05
You know, that's what, you know, we had Christ built here.
13:07
That's what we, we, we claim to. We, we, you know, tell you this
13:12
expression, we cling to the vine.
13:13
We cling to that every day because our sinful nature
13:16
certainly doesn't want to do that, right?
13:18
They, we want to do our own way. We want to have our own idea of
13:21
how, how this works. And, and I think a lot, a lot of
13:24
Christians and people out there who have tried as a quote
13:28
Christianity, they've they don't have really a systematic way of
13:32
actually approaching God and understanding how that
13:35
relationship is built in a daily basis, correct?
13:38
Correct and and like we talked about this morning, I get up in
13:41
the morning and I'm starting my day.
13:44
Where am I, I'm sitting what what location T the time that
13:47
is. I admit my sins now.
13:50
I always strive to love the Lord more to do more to give thanks
13:54
in all circumstances 100% you know consider it pure joy when I
14:00
face challenges and trials of of any kind be traffic being a slow
14:05
driver in front of me being the yard have to do the yard doing
14:09
it with a good heart praying for him to give me that good heart.
14:13
I fall short. So every day I write something
14:16
in that ear. And you know what, Kev?
14:18
Every day he, he forgives me and he still loves and blesses me.
14:23
He still builds me. He's still there in my life.
14:27
And that's unconditional love. And that's what I learned from
14:32
the daily walk with him. You see the pattern and you see
14:35
when I'm struggling with certain things and I pray help me,
14:38
Father, I actually start to get through it.
14:42
He doesn't answer on the first knock, but like I told you, if
14:46
if you knock five times and he answered and I knocked 25 times
14:50
and he answered, who will be more grateful?
14:52
The person who was knocking 25 times and he finally answered.
14:57
So he waits for the right time to build the right hardness.
15:03
And Doug, you know, one of the things for me, you know, when I
15:06
started sitting with you, the testimony and the influence of
15:11
how, you know, going back to the song, you know, the prison
15:13
cells. Will you put this into practice?
15:16
You, you actually as a worry, for lack of better terms, It was
15:20
your, it was your lab experience as experiment, so to speak,
15:23
where you brought your, they brought the daily of spiritual
15:25
routine into the, into the prison system and you worked
15:28
with these men and you saw the evidence of that happening.
15:32
And one of the things that brought me to lay my life down
15:36
was the testimonies that I heard, you know, specifically
15:38
from the men that you worked with and how it did change their
15:41
hearts. And it wasn't overnight, but
15:43
when they applied themselves, like you said, 510-1525 times,
15:48
when the Holy Spirit started working with them and they
15:51
started understanding how God really changes her heart.
15:53
That's really a powerful thing, Doug, about the start and the
15:57
the daily spiritual routine that we follow.
15:59
Yeah. Yeah, and this and and not
16:02
realizing from from the teaching, from before the
16:05
teaching of this world Christianity churches in in this
16:09
world's Christianity, it's it's like COVID, it's contagious.
16:13
You catch it, you catch faith. You can't catch faith.
16:17
It's it's a process. It's it's building the faith
16:20
means trust, right? How do you trust somebody?
16:23
You're going to, you trust them and say, OK, they can drive the
16:26
car next to you. Let's say on the opposite way.
16:28
They're not going to cross the line.
16:29
But will you let them take your car?
16:32
Will you give them $10,000 to borrow?
16:34
So that's a different kind of trust.
16:36
You know, you got to start knowing their character now,
16:38
knowing them a little bit more intimately than just
16:42
intellectually. So with God laying down our life
16:46
and becoming his slave, Dulo slave.
16:50
That's that's that's can be a harsh word, but that's the
16:53
impact of it. It's not a servant where
16:55
servants like like serve serving food.
16:58
They get off and they didn't serve a wage.
17:00
No, no, no, no, a slave. We're bought at a price.
17:03
Jesus paid our price. We take his place.
17:05
We become God's slave to do what?
17:07
To do all the works that he wants.
17:09
No, to build an intimate daily relationship with him.
17:13
So you know what freedom is, Kev?
17:15
Freedom is this. I can party on, do whatever I
17:18
want to still go to heaven. Negative.
17:19
It's not. That's not freedom.
17:21
Freedom is I'm capable of doing what he says to do or ask me to
17:25
do in the Bible. If he says to love your enemies,
17:29
I'm capable of doing that with the power of the Holy Spirit and
17:32
my relationship with God. I can't.
17:36
Now. Other people cannot forgive you.
17:38
Give them a billion dollars. They can't do it.
17:41
That person wronged them and they are mad and they ain't
17:45
letting it go. And even if they wanted to, even
17:48
if they wanted to, even if they wanted to, they can't.
17:53
I was one of those guys. I was going to get hypnotized.
17:55
I was thinking before I got, I was like, I wonder if I get
17:58
hypnotized, it would work because that that thought would
18:01
pop in my head at the right time for the thoughts for me to do
18:05
evil, but the wrong time in my head when I was at my weakest.
18:09
And then I would blow up like on a volcano.
18:12
And I didn't like that. Not being able to control
18:17
myself, you know? Yeah, exactly.
18:18
Doug, You know, in our daily fellowship this morning, we, you
18:22
know, we talked about, you know, just say the prayer.
18:26
You know, I did that. And how many times did I say,
18:28
you know, did I? I mean, I've said the prayer and
18:30
somehow I thought that that was going to change everything
18:33
inside of me and that somehow my internal destination was secured
18:36
with that in heaven. But you know, God didn't wire
18:38
us, us that way. Doug, you know, he wired us in a
18:41
way where to seek him and how we just seek him.
18:44
We're here to seek him with all of our heart.
18:47
And when we do seek him with all of our heart and we do count the
18:50
cost and we do lay our life down.
18:53
And those are, you know what those are?
18:55
Those are terms that, you know, the world doesn't want to really
18:57
hear. They don't want because they
18:58
want it their own way. Doug, Right.
19:02
Right and and God gave us our brains Kev he gave us he gave us
19:06
our gifts. He gave us our abilities.
19:08
He's not quite teaching is to cause somebody to learn.
19:12
It's not just laying out a set of principles and instructions
19:15
and Oh well, it's up to you now if you don't learn it, I didn't
19:19
teach you anything. So it's the cause to learn God
19:22
is going to communicate in a way where we we understand he gave
19:26
us our brains and he knows we're not that bright.
19:30
So he's not going to use cosmological technical terms
19:33
where we don't understand what he's talking about.
19:37
Just like a relationship. The greatest command is to love
19:40
him with all our heart, minds on and strength.
19:41
How do we love somebody we cannot see?
19:44
How do we love somebody? Here we build a relationship
19:48
with them. We get to know them.
19:50
We like what we hear, we like the person that they are and we
19:54
start to build that bond same way with God primarily is the
19:59
listening. We start to know that person.
20:02
So this is not rocket science. We we're used to doing this
20:06
already. We just have to think about what
20:10
he's saying. Yeah, Doug.
20:11
And that's, you know, it's really interesting because the
20:14
I'm not done. We're not down in the churches,
20:16
by the way. But that's not taught, Doug.
20:19
It's not taught. I went to church for 23 years
20:22
and I'd never heard this stuff before.
20:24
And as simple as it is it, you know, when I heard it was like,
20:28
it was like the light bulb went off like thing.
20:30
Well, yeah, duh. If you want to get to know
20:33
somebody, spend time with them. How you going to?
20:35
And you always use, I love this analogy, always you.
20:37
If you if you had the opportunity to sit down with
20:39
somebody who you really looked up to, you would you do more
20:41
talking or listening? And that that was like a bell
20:45
ringer for me. I was like, thing.
20:46
Well, of course I'd want to do more listening, and we learned
20:50
by listening. And of course, and that's what
20:52
you know, I love about sitting with you guys here at Christ
20:55
Build, is that we have these opportunities to learn every
20:59
single day. Yeah, Doug, right, right.
21:03
And and when God tells us to consider it pure joy when you
21:06
face trials, when you face problems, how he doesn't tell
21:09
you how now when he says Jesus says in Matthew 1128, come to
21:14
me, all you who weary and burden and I'll give you rest.
21:17
Take my yoke upon you. My burden is like I'll help you
21:20
through your problems. How that's where the Holy Spirit
21:25
starts to communicate with him. He doesn't carry us like like
21:29
that, that story Footprints in the sand close, but he doesn't
21:34
carry us. He gives us the the a little a
21:39
little bit of support where we can walk through it on our own.
21:42
Why? Because his goal is to get us
21:45
stronger. He used to build us.
21:47
Now if we carry a child when they're trying to learn to walk,
21:51
we help them. We over help them.
21:53
We're stunting their growth. We're not helping them, we're
21:55
hurting them. Let them walk through the pain
21:58
and the unbalanced and the falling down.
22:00
They have to go through that. Same with us.
22:03
You see the hurt people, they don't want to fail because they
22:07
already feel like failures. And that's where the the body of
22:10
Christ comes in and we build, we encourage, we can do, you can do
22:13
it. I was just like you again.
22:15
I fell how many times? But we're we're not going to hit
22:18
home. We're not Bo Jackson.
22:19
There's only one Bo Jackson. He was just born good.
22:23
We're not born good. We're going to fail, but we keep
22:28
getting up and trying again and God, eventually we will get it.
22:33
Don't. Give up, right?
22:35
Yeah. And practice, practice,
22:38
practice. Supply God's word every single
22:40
day, all day long, you know, spending time with him, like
22:43
Deuteronomy 17 says, spend time with him, keep him on your heart
22:47
all day, every day, throughout the day.
22:50
And that's what we do. And we and we, we, we're not
22:52
perfect, but we, we, we strive for that, that relationship,
22:57
building our trust in him, having him heal our hearts so we
23:01
can have that daily intimate connection with him every single
23:04
day. Yes Sir, we just don't make up
23:06
our own and ramble our own thoughts of God because that's
23:09
what Satan wants. He wants you to blend a little
23:11
bit of your beliefs or what love is and a little bit of his you
23:15
know and and part truth is whole life.
23:18
That means you're off. You cannot water his truth
23:21
though, so when we do meditate on on his word and we we think
23:25
about him, I, I will pray, Lord, help me to love like you.
23:29
Help me to forgive like you. Father, what a beautiful day.
23:32
I see your fingerprints all all around you.
23:35
Help me to always be grateful. Help lower my expectations.
23:39
Forgive me for having so much expectations where traffic has
23:42
to flow. You know, I don't want too many
23:44
red lights. You know, I, I wish I didn't
23:46
have that type of expectations. A dog's a neighbor's dog comes,
23:51
takes a dump in my yard. That's OK.
23:53
I'll pick it up and throw it over.
23:55
That's the type of attitude I, I long to have.
23:58
Not wait. Where's the neighbor?
24:01
How come he didn't he didn't tie his dog up and toss the the
24:04
stool over to their side, right? That's not love, you see, love
24:08
is an action and it's the heart. It's the heart that we have
24:11
issues with and that's what the song is about.
24:14
His word helps us identify those hard areas.
24:18
Absolutely, and we're going to be going out here just in a
24:21
little bit to make sure you tune into our YouTube channel here
24:24
and Men Helping Men, Christ built music at CB Hawaiian and
24:29
TuneIn for us the top of the hour here and listen to the next
24:31
song coming in. What a pleasure it is to join
24:33
you this afternoon again here on Men Helping Men.
24:36
Aloha. son.
25:17
Fox News. I'm John Saucier.
25:18
White House press secretary Caroline Levitt will be stepping
25:21
down from that job at the end of this month to spend more time
25:23
with her family. Former senior counselor to the
25:25
president Kellyanne Conway, who served in the first Trump
25:28
administration on Fox's Caroline's time in the White
25:31
House has been historic. She will go down as one of the
25:34
best White House press secretaries, definitely for her
25:37
work behind the podium, but her work behind the scenes that the
25:40
public doesn't always see. Secretary Levitt expected to
25:43
continue a relationship with the president from an outside
25:46
advisory role. Two people have died after a
25:48
military helicopter crash in Salado, TX, near Fort Hood.
25:52
Cliff Coleman is a spokesperson for the Bell County Sheriff's
25:54
Office, telling reporters it didn't hand any homes or
25:57
structures in the area. It was crashed into a field.
26:00
You could tell it was a violent crash.
26:02
The crash did spark OK Wildfire evacuations have been ordered.
26:06
America is listening to Fox News.
26:11
Hi. I'm Leona Rosha Wilson with
26:17
Living Local on KAOI the Talk of Maui.
26:22
Please listen to Living Local on Thursdays at 11:30.
26:26
Come join us when we talk story with local guests and listen to
26:30
their fascinating stories. Living Local will now be on
26:34
Thursdays at 11:30 on AAOI 1110 AM and 96.7 FM.
26:43
Jewelry is personal. The service you receive should
26:46
be too. Some jewelry marks a milestone,
26:49
some carry a memory, and some becomes part of a family story
26:54
for generations. At Noka Oi Jewelers, we
26:57
understand how much those pieces mean.
27:00
That's why we're personally involved in every jewelry
27:03
repair, restoration and custom design.
27:06
Visit Noka Oi Jewelers serving Maui with Aloha Noka Oi Jewelers
27:12
at 3:40 Hana Highway. Here's your.
27:16
Forecast on the talk of Maui AM 1110 and FM 96.7.
27:22
Highs level off Route 87 this afternoon under sunny skies.
27:26
Winds out of the N 10 to 20 mph. Clear skies again tonight.
27:30
Lows level off round 74. High temperatures reach up to 89
27:34
tomorrow. Bright sunshine expected.
27:37
I'm staff meteorologist Paul Trombley, right now 86.
27:42
KAOI Oh, welcome back to MEN Helping
32:24
Men. Thank you for joining us this
32:26
Wednesday afternoon here at the Men Helping Men radio program.
32:30
We're so grateful we got to be here sharing our love and
32:33
sharing our faith and sharing our hope and how we are building
32:37
a daily relationship with with Jesus.
32:40
Doug, we have the song not contagious.
32:43
You know you we always talk about the the two things
32:46
deception and confusion. 2 of the biggest weapons that the
32:49
enemy uses to kind of keep us off track, keep us off the
32:53
target of how we find our daily relationship with God every
32:59
single day. So how does that talk about that
33:01
Doug at the deception and and more of the confusion where this
33:04
again the song not contagious. Yeah, and and the evidence of a
33:10
changed life is the 2 the two easiest ways to to identify if
33:16
we are walking with Jesus or he's transferring us internally.
33:19
No, not externally. Why did he send his son down
33:23
here? Because he loves the world.
33:26
He loves us and for forgiveness. Jesus had to take our place in
33:33
order for us to be able to get to know God, to approach him to,
33:38
to build an intimate relationship with him.
33:41
Try to approach the president and see how far you get, how
33:44
close you get, or the Queen of England, see how close you get.
33:47
You're not going to get close. They got to clear you.
33:50
They got to find out who you are, what you want.
33:53
You're definitely not going to get close to God.
33:55
The Father who is holy can't. Our gate is Jesus.
34:01
He is the way. That's the narrow gate, meaning
34:05
we have to follow His ways, and His ways is very easy to do.
34:12
If we were programmed now, if we were raised that way from when
34:16
we were young, that would be our nature.
34:19
I see people eating vegetarian or vegan and they love it.
34:24
I mean, I went vegan a couple of years because I had high blood
34:26
pressure, but it's an acquired taste to not eat meat and to eat
34:31
the vegetables and soy. But other people, they grew up
34:36
eating that. And you know why you think your
34:38
mom is the best cook? Because that's where your taste
34:42
buds are formed. It's formed to the food that you
34:45
grew up eating and you often times don't change you, you, you
34:50
try different things, but those solid foods that you ate growing
34:53
up, you still, that's still part of your, your favorite, your
34:56
favorite foods, how your mom made it because it's ingrained
34:59
in you. So you see, if, if you grow up
35:03
with bad eating habits you have, your health is not where it
35:06
should. If I if I have bad teaching
35:11
local cheat teaching here in Hawaii, we're we're fighters.
35:18
So people bump you. You don't let anybody pick on
35:21
you. I was with the dad where you
35:23
better fight. Well, I don't give you like so
35:26
it's it's not an option to reprogram.
35:29
God is love now love your enemies.
35:32
You don't beat them up. There is no option to to hurt
35:36
people. It's lifted to him and let him
35:39
handle it. We cannot have that
35:41
unforgiveness and hurting our hearts.
35:44
And you know, Kev, like I told you, I don't know what people
35:46
are going through. I don't know the hurt in their
35:48
heart that they're going through and the days that they had and
35:51
what's happening in their lives, You know, and, and when we just
35:55
show that love and understanding and the only way I can is my
35:59
heart got to be healed. That's the only thing Satan
36:03
cannot fight against love. When somebody shows you love,
36:07
how is he going to neutralize that?
36:10
Somebody corrects you that he can.
36:12
You know somebody. Somebody does something else to
36:15
you or attack you. Is easy and he.
36:18
Attacks, you see, so he cannot control us when people show
36:21
love. Exactly, Doug.
36:23
And, you know, coming in and learning this for me personally,
36:30
not realizing just out of ignorance or not, not not
36:35
wanting to see it in myself, but realizing how deep those wounds
36:39
were in my life and how I have learned how to heal those
36:44
wounds. And those trigger points when I
36:47
do get bumped, when I do with it, you know, I pray and lift it
36:51
up to lift it up to God and say, Holy Spirit, please.
36:55
And sometimes, you know, we talked this morning, Doug, It's,
36:57
it's, it's begging, you know, it's on her knees.
37:00
It's like crying up because you know what I mean?
37:03
Who wants to live like that, Doug?
37:04
Who wants to live in that place of hurt all the time and that
37:06
bitterness in life? And you know, we have that
37:11
formula, that recipe as it were, how to do that.
37:14
And it's a daily practice and it takes time and it doesn't happen
37:17
overnight. And I tell you what the bumps
37:20
reveal. And Doug, you always say not
37:23
that person that's bumping you change, but what's coming up in
37:27
me like first Peter, that the fire which what that fire, what
37:31
that's revealing in my heart. That's what I'm looking at them.
37:34
Proud to God, God, heal that place in my life so I can
37:37
glorify you, so I can be more loving, so I can be more
37:41
forgiving, and so I can live a life that's pleasing to you.
37:45
Yeah, and and you know, Kev, it's it's when I had Christ
37:49
built, I started my church that wasn't on on purpose.
37:53
I came right out of Bible college and was on I did ATV
37:57
ministry just to keep the preaching fresh.
38:00
You know, I didn't want to put it on the shelf and then not do
38:03
it for a long time. And you should not be willing to
38:05
do it when you called me. So more and more people started
38:08
to gather. Point I'm making is when I sat
38:10
with the guys, I sat with the guys one week, you know, Bible
38:13
study asked the guys one to 1010 being the best.
38:16
You know, it's, it's the best one being the worst rate your
38:20
marriage guys 8 to 10. They all 8.
38:23
Nothing lower than 8, you know? Then I switch over to next week.
38:27
I sit with the women, their wives, one to 10.
38:31
Nothing higher than a four. Come on, man, 234.
38:35
Why? Because when guys judge or rate
38:39
their marriage, they say, look, I don't, I don't drink.
38:42
I don't cheat on my wife. The yard is clean.
38:45
She got a nice car, you know, she got a nice house.
38:48
The house is clean. That's what the guys look at
38:52
women. He always thinks he knows.
38:56
He doesn't care about me. He thinks he's a know it all.
38:59
He doesn't listen to me when I talk.
39:01
You see they they they're heart. They're heart LED people.
39:06
Men are head knowledge. We're we're intellectual.
39:11
So my wife comes home from work, let's say she said, wow, I had a
39:14
hard day at work, you know, Myra and my boss was just on me and
39:18
saying you're not working long enough.
39:19
And I work 50 hours. She wants me to work 60 a week.
39:22
And you know, I told her we have a have a family, the work life
39:25
balance that she just didn't understand.
39:28
And I'm listening all my I said, you know what, you got to tell
39:30
Myra. You better tell her this.
39:31
You better say, you know what, you can find another job
39:33
somewhere. This is a deal.
39:34
And then I started getting all I started reading off a list of
39:38
things she needs. That's not what she's looking
39:41
for. This is how you communicate with
39:43
all me. I'm sorry you felt that way.
39:46
Sorry. You mentioned how are you
39:47
feeling? Are you all right?
39:49
You handle it well. You seem OK.
39:53
You know, they want, they don't want the solution.
39:56
They want the understanding man, you see?
39:59
But nobody taught me that, right?
40:02
Nobody taught us that. Well, Doug, I wish I would have
40:04
known that myself many years ago, but it saved me a lot of
40:07
heartache. I got to tell you because what
40:09
I've been through in my life with, you know, I'm staying
40:12
Bevanies as a word. You know, my 2 two favorite
40:17
marriages and, you know, relationship with kids,
40:20
compromise because of all this stuff.
40:22
Doug, man, I tell you what, what I would have done to had this
40:26
knowledge given to me as a young man.
40:28
And that's, you know, I'm so grateful I have the opportunity
40:31
now. I'm, I'm grateful that hey, you,
40:35
would you say this, Doug, you can teach an old dog some new
40:38
tricks. Oh.
40:39
Yeah, yeah, God can. And you know, there was this,
40:43
this, this one guy and he's married with daughters and and
40:48
just not wanting to make it work.
40:51
I'm like, you don't have an option if you, especially if you
40:55
call yourself a Christian. If you're a Christian, you do
40:58
what God says. You trust him, you love the
41:02
people that he he wants you. He can love your enemy.
41:04
You should be able to if you have a real relationship with
41:08
what your Christian is. You're a fake Christian.
41:11
You're plastic. What's going to what's going to
41:14
reveal the heart is the problems.
41:16
Do you cling to him? Does it make you better?
41:19
Does it make you more humble, more loving?
41:22
Does it make you hard? Does it make you more bitter
41:25
like the song? Do you justify beating people up
41:30
or yelling at them or being mean to them?
41:33
And he's finding every excuse. You know, I'm not, she's my, I'm
41:37
not. I'm not going to look at her as
41:38
my idol anymore. I'm not here to do to to do this
41:41
and that. We're here to change.
41:44
I can change. My wife can be whoever she is
41:48
and you know what I know I have the Holy Spirit, I have God's
41:52
word, I can do all things through him who gives me
41:55
strength. Help me Father, change me, help
41:57
me to build, help me to come under and build and love as is.
42:03
I don't need her to be perfect to love her or near perfect.
42:06
She has to at least be a 5. You know when she's a 5I can
42:09
love her Christians. We can love even the unlovable.
42:14
That's our enemy. If we learn how to love our
42:16
enemy, we can love anybody right?
42:18
Our enemy is trying to hurt us and love is 10 miles past
42:21
forgiveness. God says with me I can show you
42:25
how to do this, not love the lovable, the people who love
42:28
you. Non believers can do that, but
42:31
only with my strength Can you love.
42:35
Your enemy. Yeah, Doug.
42:37
And that's a deep heart check. That's a deep revealing, like
42:41
you said, Doug, the and your ground really revealing what's
42:45
in the depth of who we are. And the thing that with God's
42:50
healing process is he can we talked about this.
42:52
It doesn't cut the surface grass off goes deep and deep like the
42:57
Chiaba root right down. And sometimes that is a really,
43:00
really painful process, Doug, to let that stuff go because our
43:04
prides attached to it, our egos attached to it, especially with
43:08
us men, right? Our pride and ego is attached to
43:11
holding on to things like that. And that when we finally
43:14
surrender and become coming back, Doug, to being a slave to
43:18
Christ, right? Where we give up that?
43:20
Will we give up that pride? We give up that that staking our
43:24
claim? No, we're going to.
43:25
I'm going to. When we finally give that up and
43:27
we finally let go of that place inside of us that wants to hold
43:30
on, that's the moment that God can begin to really work with
43:34
us. Yeah.
43:35
Exactly. It's the humility, you know, if
43:38
you come to him with a humble heart, which is, which is a
43:40
gift. Now, if you have that humility,
43:43
that's a gift because it's, it's hard to find and it's hard to
43:47
receive without being broken, you know, and he's going to
43:50
break you, break you where you know you need him.
43:54
It's see the trials that we have is always going to be greater
43:58
than we can handle. Why?
44:00
That's when you grow the most. Why?
44:02
Because that's when we need him. We cannot do it on our own.
44:07
In bodybuilding, the last two or three reps are the most is the
44:11
most important, the ones that you cannot do on your own.
44:16
But you know, I told Kevin, I said I stomp 2 reps before I
44:20
fail. Because you go to failure, you
44:23
always fail and that's what you fail every time.
44:28
You fail every time and you always need help.
44:30
You see, we're wired. It's wired into US depending who
44:33
raised you. You don't want to ask your dad
44:36
for help because that shows that you don't have it all together.
44:40
You're still a kid. But God the Father, he wants us
44:44
to ask him in every, every situation, good, bad.
44:48
He wants us to communicate with him.
44:51
So it's opposite of how we were most of us were raised.
44:55
Growing up, absolutely. And you know how Doug, you know,
44:58
Paul talks about being the spiritual father, you know, and
45:02
to have a spiritual leader. And, and, and you said earlier
45:05
to teach is to cause one to learn.
45:09
And I have learned so much about all of this.
45:13
It's just been such an amazing a gift to me.
45:15
Again, it's always reflecting this Doug, because I want you to
45:18
know how grateful I am, you know, for me to sit here with
45:21
you and Brandon here on this show.
45:23
What a what a what an amazing you asked me, you know, you
45:27
would have thought about where it would have been a year ago,
45:29
where would be at today. Man, I tell you what, I would
45:31
never have imagined being able to sit in the studio with you
45:34
and have these conversations and not just for us, but for those
45:38
that are listening out there, man, I tell you what, those
45:40
folks that are listening out there, when you, if you got
45:42
these issues in your life, we have the answer of how to heal
45:48
and not we, but God. And this is what we're doing
45:51
here. We're sharing that with you here
45:52
on the show, Doug. So I have learned so much about
45:56
how to heal those because I've carried some deep, deep, deep,
45:59
ugly wounds. And I thought it was OK when I
46:02
first came. I thought it was OK.
46:03
You asked me cover. You're a good guy.
46:05
Well, yeah, Doug, I used to do this.
46:07
But then when the truth and the matter is when the revealing of
46:10
the Word of God started shining deep in my soul and deep inside
46:13
of my heart, I was like, I carry a lot of those scars with me
46:17
still today. Yeah, so imagine if you're
46:19
driving your new car, you got a, you got a Corvette, you got it,
46:23
whatever, a Tesla, Cadillac. You're driving your new car on
46:26
Oahu above the airport. You got the overpass and it's a
46:29
it's a rainy, cloudy day, at night, storming, can't see.
46:34
And then you see all of a sudden here boom and a rock hit your
46:39
windshield. Brand new car.
46:40
Now you know that's a good 5 to $1000 job.
46:44
You see the guy on the side of the road who threw it.
46:47
Now local guys just say, Oh no, it's all over for that.
46:50
You pull on the side, you know, ready to throw blows.
46:53
You get out, you want to throw rocks and you go, oh, sorry,
46:56
sorry. There's no way I could have got
46:58
your attention. But the road is out about 50
47:03
yards down. You won't be able to see it
47:05
until it's too late. Our car would have went over, we
47:08
would have died. Now that rock on the windshield
47:12
was a blessing for him to give us, give us that bit of
47:17
information. Only way he could get our
47:18
attention offensive. But you know what, worth it.
47:22
So what we are saying today, it's not building a relationship
47:28
with God is just not to heal us now.
47:32
It determines where we're going in the next life, heaven or
47:38
hell. If we don't have an intimate
47:41
loving relationship with God, where we love him with all our
47:45
heart, mind, soul and strength, we are not going to live with
47:48
him. We're going to hell.
47:51
That's why we're doing this. It's not about having a having
47:54
your best life now like Doug Osteen.
47:57
This is. This is the real This is the
48:00
real talk. I I want it straight.
48:03
I want to know that I have cancer so I can find a cure.
48:07
Not, you know, hey, don't know my day and tell me about cancer.
48:10
Come on, man. Just hide it from me.
48:12
No, we're we're going to go to hell unless we change it.
48:16
What is the change? We build a relationship with
48:18
God. No.
48:20
And the evidence of that is what we're talking about.
48:22
Come on. It's the healing of the heart Is
48:25
the loving our enemy. That's the evidence of God
48:28
actually working. We're not Mystic, we're not
48:32
singing kumbaya and nothing is happening.
48:35
We see the evidence internally. We cannot.
48:39
I cannot love my enemy without his help.
48:43
Right. And you know, we've been talking
48:45
the last couple, you got to be hot or cold and you make the
48:51
choice. But if you're going to be hot,
48:53
man, it's all in. There's no, there's no.
48:55
Well, I'm going to dip my toes in the water and see if this
48:57
works. You got it.
48:59
You got it. Got to sell all out.
49:00
And Doug, you're encouraging me. And I, and I've sold out and I
49:06
and I and, and I'd love to say I'm through the gate, but the
49:09
reality is I'm not yet. But I'm working my salvation out
49:13
with fear and trembling and I and I, and it's in my heart's
49:16
desire to be hot. Hot like you, Doug, sold out and
49:20
explicitly no qualms about it. There isn't.
49:23
And, and, and thank you for doing that.
49:25
Thank you for holding my feet to the fire to have challenged me
49:28
to grow in that way and to be truly Christ built.
49:32
Yeah, and it's and Satan likes to confuse where it's not by
49:36
work. See, he's talking about when
49:38
Paul is saying that he's talking to the Jews about the Old
49:41
Testament law. They're used to following a set
49:46
of rules. He's saying you don't follow the
49:48
rules, you build a relationship with Jesus.
49:51
Now Romans 7 to Romans 8, we don't follow the law.
49:56
It's not by works. I don't do what I want to do.
49:58
I don't do what I don't want to do.
50:02
I don't. I'm not able.
50:04
Sinful nature in me will not allow me to follow a set of
50:08
rules. I'll rebel against the I want to
50:11
do it my own way. Come on now.
50:13
A relationship with Jesus sets you free.
50:16
You see, that's the freedom in Christ.
50:19
Build a relationship with Jesus. Now you're going to be set free.
50:24
So it's the relationship that sets us free.
50:26
It's not by following us to do this, Do that.
50:29
Don't. You're running ahead of the cart
50:31
is ahead of the horse. Don't look at the branches on
50:34
the bamboo. Get to the root.
50:36
The root is a relationship with Jesus and obedience is going to
50:40
come definitely after from the heart.
50:44
I'm going to want to do it. It's not going to be burdensome.
50:49
It's going to be my pleasure. I owe you my life because of
50:52
that loving relationship that he has developed with us.
50:56
So he's looking at the sacrifice, kid.
50:59
It's not the work. It's a sacrifice to build a good
51:01
relationship with your wife, with your wife, you gotta make a
51:05
sacrifice. You gotta spend the time with
51:07
him to to take your kid to baseball.
51:09
Come on, you gotta make a sacrifice.
51:11
I mean, this isn't, this isn't Mystic.
51:14
And you don't have to be a rocket scientist.
51:16
You know, this is how we function.
51:18
We sacrifice to eat good. We got a sacrifice.
51:22
No more ice cream. Right.
51:23
Oh shit. Don't go there.
51:27
You know, Doug. And This is why, you know,
51:29
there's such a high divorce rate in our country, Doug, Because
51:31
once they get married, they stop making the sacrifice.
51:34
They wooed the hearts of their women.
51:37
They've gotten, they've got the lovey dovey thing going on.
51:40
And then they get married and the next thing you know, they
51:42
stop making the sacrifice, right?
51:45
Right, they feel entitled. No, just be grateful every day
51:49
for your spouse, your husband, your wife.
51:50
That's a gift from God. Come on guys now.
51:53
If I could have known this before I I married my wife, I
51:55
would have been there would have been such a blessing.
51:58
I wish I knew. That's where we want to help
52:01
families want to help men know to cherish their.
52:04
Families, come on, Dougie. Absolutely.
52:06
Again, thank you guys for joining us here at the Men
52:09
Helping Men radio show on this Wednesday afternoon.
52:12
Got good news. We might be seeing hearing these
52:14
voices a little more often throughout the week.
52:16
Kind of a little Cliff note there for you.
52:19
But have a great week guys. We'll look forward to joining
52:22
you next week on Wednesday. Aloha, God bless men helping.
53:01
for all day.