Latest / Have A Little Faith with Delilah / Letting Go

Transcript

Letting Go · Have A Little Faith with Delilah

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, my friend. Welcome, Welcome back. If you've discovered this
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: podcast and you've already listened to the first few episodes,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome aboard. If you're a newcomer, if you've just discovered
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Have a Little Faith with Delilah. This podcast is near
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: and dear to my heart, because my heart belongs to God.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Everything I have belongs to the Lord, everything everything I
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: have in Him. I live and breathe and have my being.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: And I try, I try so hard not to preach,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: but I can't help but share my love for God
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: because it is such an integral part. It is woven
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: into the fabric of my dna. It is who I am.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: You cannot take away or separate my faith from me
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: anymore than you could take away my role as a mother.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I've been a mama for a long long time. I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: have been parenting since nineteen eighty one, and I just
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: got custody of three more young children. So I will
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: be parenting until Jesus comes back or God calls me home.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: I will never have an empty nest at this rate,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: because I'm sixty five and my youngest child in my
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: house is five. Do the math, and that's okay with me.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Because I love being a mom, but my faith in
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: the Lord is as much a part of my being
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: as my being a mother. More so, because if God
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: took all my children away, if he took them all home,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I would still cling to God. I would still cling
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: to Jesus. And so I thought, in that episode of
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Have a Little Faith with Delila, I would share with
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: you how I came to my faith. It's a long story,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: so sit back, relax, fix yourself a cup of tea
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: if you'd like, And my story might be a little
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: different than a lot of people you meet who are
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: religious or who affiliate with a church. You have probably
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: met a lot of religious people in your life. I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: did when I was young. I did not like them.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I did not like the way they treated other people.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I did not like hypocrisy. I didn't want any part
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: of it. I also didn't want any part of, you know,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: believing that a higher power had any authority over me.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: And because my parents were not people of faith, they
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: did not have a particular religion they subscribed to. My
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: mom sent me to a lot of church activities. She did.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: She sent us to vacation Bible school, vacation Bible camp.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Every summer four or five different churches to get us
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: out of the house and to let us go have
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: fun with other kids. Not because she particularly wanted us
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: to be Catholic or Baptist or whatever church in our
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: little town was having VBS. She just wanted us out
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: of her hair for a few hours. But I learned
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: a lot, even though her motivation was more about having
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: me do little glitter glue projects at their church instead
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: of in our kitchen, I learned a lot. I learned
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: about Jesus. I didn't know him personally, but I learned
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: a lot about him. But I didn't identify or claim
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: a faith when I was a kid or when I
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: was a teenager. And I learned about Jesus growing up
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: from going to VBS or going to Catechism. But I
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: didn't meet Jesus growing up. But God, in all of
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: his wisdom, put two men in a position of authority
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: over me in that they got my foot in the
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: door in radio when I was in junior high and
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: the two men that owned the local radio station, Jerome
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Kanegi and Steve Kanegi, two brothers, and their chief engineer,
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Wes Lockard, were all Christians who loved the Lord, and
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: I was a kid, a rebellious teenager, and those men
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: loved me and they made me a part of their family.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: They made me their baby. They introduced me to their
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: wives and their kids, and I babysat for them, and
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: they allowed me to begin developing my style on the
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: radio when I was in junior high. That was God.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: That was God setting that all up. But God put
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: the Kanegie brothers and put kd u in in my
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: path when I was just a kid. And let me
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: tell you how that saved my life. Because I loved
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: being at the radio station, because I loved being a
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: part of the Kanegi family and west Locker's family, because
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: they gave me such a purpose and such a big
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: vision for my future. I didn't want to lose that.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: And because I didn't want to lose that, I didn't
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: drink and I didn't get high. I knew if I
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: got drunk on a Friday night, I wouldn't be able
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: to open up the radio station at five am on
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: a Saturday morning. I wasn't willing to risk the joy
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I had at the radio station for getting drunk or
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: getting high or doing any of the other crazy things.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: My friends were doing in the mid seventies. I wasn't
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: willing to risk the joy I felt being on the air.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: That was what kept me from making some really bad choices.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I didn't recognize at the time that was God's hand
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: on me. I didn't recognize how the Lord orchestrated all
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: of that until a few years later. This episode that
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: we are going to share with you today is all
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: about letting go. Letting go is a tough process of
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: releasing whatever no longer serves us, whether it's letting go
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: of a painful relationship, letting go of a bad habit,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: letting go of an addiction, letting go of anger and
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: rage from the past, letting go of feeling like the victim,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: like somebody owes you because they wronged you. Letting go
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: moving forward, accepting what is, and embracing the idea of
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: letting go can bring. Change, can bring healing, can bring
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: the possibility of new beginnings. I always say I've never
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: let go of anything that didn't have clawmarks all over it.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Because I stink at letting go. I will hold on
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: to a toxic relationship long past the time I should
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: have let go, years past the time I should have
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: let go. I have stayed in friendships. I'm not even
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: talking dating relationships or marriages. I have stayed in friendships
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: for years when they were so toxic, so unhealthy for me.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: But I couldn't let go. I couldn't walk away. I
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: just had to try one more thing to fix it.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: Are you always trying to fix a situation that you
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: should be walking away from? While it can be very
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: challenging and very very very painful, letting go ultimately allows growth.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: It allows healing for all involved. The first all I
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: have to share with you in this podcast is from
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: a man named Sean. Sean is kind of breaking my
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: heart right now because I've been exactly where he is.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: I have been there way more times than I would
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: like to admit. Let's hear Sean's story right now. Good evening,
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Delilah Show. Who is this?
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: This is Sean? How are you?
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Deliah?
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Sean? I'm wonderful, how are you?
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: I'm sad, but I'm hopeful. I'm hoping you can find
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: a song for me that will give somebody else some inspiration.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: A fight off a bad habit that caused them to
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: become aggressive and assaultive, be arrested and do bad things
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: to their fiance being me.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: So, your girlfriend is addicted to what she.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Got addicted to cocaine she got she got into a
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: car and she had a little brain swelling and got
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: postconcusive syndrome. So she got really depressed. I got her
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: some help, A neurologist got her you know, mental health
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: as well, you know, to deal with the depression and stuff.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: She didn't take the medication she was prescribed and turned
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: to drugs to an old friend of hers who was
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: bad news. And she knew it beforehand. When she was
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: with me for the two years, she told me all
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: about them, A long story short. She's mixed up with him.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Now I found out about it. I found the remnants
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: of the drug in the bathroom. She got very mad
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: at me. I got married very mad at her because
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: of it, and she assaulted me. She's being tried for
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: that and all that stuff. But I know it's because
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: of the drugs, you know what I mean. It's not her.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: I know this in my heart. There's a huge agent
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: difference between us. But I'm a huge part of her family,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: her mother, her father, her grandmother, every buddy, her brother.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: I employed end up employing her brother for years and
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: trained him to be a master, you know, to be
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: a technician. I'm a master technician. And everybody, unfortunately, has
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: isolated her because of this incident. Her whole family. She's
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: isolated in that drug situation. And I'm just hoping that
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: she's listening and and and you can play something that
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't know that would that would let
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: her see that this is what's going on, you know,
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: to give her hope to go and get help. She
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: needs help, and she knows she needs help, honey, in
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: the same breath. She's addicted to it already. And I
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: can't help her until she wants to ask for it.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: No, you can't help her even after she asks for it,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: because the kind of help she needs, you can't give her.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: The kind of help she needs comes from from going
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: to to na, going to people who've battled this addiction,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: going to people who know what it's like. But first
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: she has to want to get help.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: Right exactly, and whether she wants it or not. Unfortunately,
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: she's going to be getting it next week. There is
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: a big court day coming up. It's her trial.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: Trust me. If she's not ready, I know, But I've.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: Lost everything though, I meaning, I lost her whole family,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: and everybody.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Go to speak you know, why why are they not
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: speaking to you because of.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: All this stuff. There's a no contact order natural that
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: comes in up with all the assaults and.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Stuff, right, But what does that have to do with them.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: It's just the way that the law works. We were
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: living together for two years. She was so right. Now
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: she's in between places and she was staying at her
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: grandmother's and her mother and father won't let her in
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: the house because of what happened. So they're mad at her,
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: but they just don't want to get in the middle
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: You know what.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: I don't blame them. You know, they're they're they're trying.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: You know, obviously it's their daughter, but you know they
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: love me too, and they don't want to get in
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: the middle of it. And I don't blame them, And
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: you know, it's it's their family. So I don't feel
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: like I feel like I'm almost intruding, you know what
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So have you ever been to a Nara non meeting?
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: No?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I have not.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Naran On in a r A n O n narn
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: On is a twelve step program okay for people who
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: love people who love drugs, well, brothers, sisters, wives, girlfriends, moms,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: dads who are emotionally unavailable to their relationship because they
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: are high. Narann On is for people who love people
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: who loved drugs.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't know the addiction the whole time that it
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: was going on. I really thought it was because of
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: the posting because of syndrome. But it was the last assault,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: she broke through the bathroom door that I had found
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: the little baggy, and it was almost like flashbacks Forlilah.
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: It was there was I remembered all the other assaults
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: because of the same look in her eye. Her eyes
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: always got really really black. I thought again was because
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: of the post concussive. It's because of the cocaine. So
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: all the pages kind of came together in like a
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: split second. It was terrible. It was horrible. Basically, I've
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: been being used for over a year, you know, and
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: you know the engagement ring D.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Do yourself a favor and go to at least can
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: help go to at least six meetings, six or eight
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: meetings of naran On.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: I need to write this down because I had a
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: stroke ten days ago. Again because of all the.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Stress and the heartache and the disappointment and the grief
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: and the loss that you are going through. You already
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: know this because you said you just had a stroke
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: from this dress. It will kill you.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it will, I know, absolutely will. But it was
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: it was close.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: So go to Naranan.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, I have thank you very much. You know it's disheartening.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: You know, I have to do what I have to do,
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: like you said, in order for me to make sure
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: that I distanced myself from that, and I did that.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: All of our stuff is out and all that stuff.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately, if you don't get help, you will repeat the
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: same pattern because you are very much a caregiver. You
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: are very much and I'm going to take care of you.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I'm going to take care of your brother. I'm going
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: to take care of the world. And you're going to
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: repeat the pattern and the next person that you give
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: your heart to is going to have be emotionally unavailable
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: because you are attracted to people that you can rescue.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder, yeah, I do wonder that.
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: I don't I don't know that that was the first
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: person that I've had.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I mean I was married twice prior.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Okay, you just said everything I need to hear. You
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: have failed relationships, and I would bet you most of
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: the time you are the one who is left holding
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: the bag or are you right? So go to a
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Naranan okay, okay.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Well well I'll go and can you play something for
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: me tonight?
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I will play something for you. I'm not going to
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: play something for her right now. She's using she can't
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: hear anything you have to say. But I am going,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: yep to play something for you.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: You are welcome. God bless you. You're going to be okay.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: You're going to make it through. I promise you.
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: You know what you help the ton You have no idea.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I listened to you every night. We used to listen
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: to you every night. So thank you very much. Thank you.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: I tried. Come on, you can't say I didn't try.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I tried very very hard to get through to Sean.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: But he, my friend, is in deep denial. I'm not
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: so sure I succeeded in convincing him to seek help
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: for himself, but I hope that he does look into
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: a twelve step program, a support group that will help
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: him to open his eyes. Sean, open your eyes, my friend,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: take off the rose colored glasses. He really, really really
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: needs to let go of the idea that he can
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: control any of this. Addictions destroy people, They destroy relationships,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: especially families, and it's heartbreaking. It is so heartbreaking when
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: you love someone with every nano fiber is that something?
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: Is that a thing? Nano fibers of your being? And
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: you know that, you know that, you know that they
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: are lying through their teeth, that they are living a
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: lie because you want to believe, You want to believe
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: they care, and they do care. They just care about
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: their addictions more. I hope Sean will go to a meeting.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: I hope he will find a good counselor a healthy
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: support system and let go and let God. The next
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: story I want to share with you is from a
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: listener named Victoria. Victoria is dealing with losses that she
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: had no choice about. However, Victoria has an amazing attitude
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: of acceptance. I want to share Victoria's story with you
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: right now. Hi, Victoria, are you calling me from your
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: car tonight?
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I am Are you driving? Oh?
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: Well, I am sitting still, but my phone is connected
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: to my car.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Few blueche okay, good, so you're safe. Tell me who's
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: on your heart or what's on your heart?
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: Well, my grandfather died four days ago, and so my
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: heart is sad tonight.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: How old was your grandpa?
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: He was ninety two.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he lived a long life.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Best lesson or best value? Grandpa taught you well.
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: When I spent time with him last year before he died,
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: he told me to save money.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: That's a good value. Saving for a rainy day always
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: a good value.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Yes, No, I was really close to him and my
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: grandmother both when I was younger. My mother left my
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: dad and I when I was five, and my grandfather
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: had a clock shop out of his house, and so
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: he taught my dad how to fix clocks, and so
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: I was over at their house all the time. So
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: I spent a lo lot of time with my grandfather
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: and my grandmother. There's just there's been a lot of
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: things in the last few days that have been good memories,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: but they they bring tears, of course.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: So mom dipped on you when you were howled five? Wow,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: that's a lot. So your dad was a single dad
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: and grandparents filled in the gaps. Yes, God bless them.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Did your mom ever come back and make amends or
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: was she just gone, gone gone.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: I mean she was in my life, but she was
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: kind of, well, my dad always called her the She
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: was kind of like the fun aunt. She would come
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: in and you know, be the fun mom, and then
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: she would bring me home and you know, be on
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: her way again. So and another thing that when I
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: spent time with my grandfather at the end of last year.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: He was very religious, and I grew up religious, but
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: I haven't. I haven't spent as much time in church
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: as an adult. But I told him that I will
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: see him again someday. And we talked about my grandmother,
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: who died about ten years ago, and how we both
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: missed her very much. And I asked him when he
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: got to heaven to tell her that I love her.
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: And so I'll see them again someday. And you know,
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: that does bring me comfort, but it's so hard having
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: them gone.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: But what a great joy and great hope that you
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: know that you know that, you know, you know in
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: the core of your being that eternity waits, and when
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: it's your time, you will see them again forever forever. Yes,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: no separation, no sickness, no tears, no pain, nothing but eternity.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah. To love one another yeah, and you know my grandfather.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: So my grandmother she had been on dialysis for eleven
• 22:05
  Speaker 4: years when she died, and my grandfather took care of
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: her every single day of that eleven years. And they
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: had been married for sixty four years when she died.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: That is unbelievable.
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: I know, it's crazy. They they got married when he
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: was seventeen and she was twenty one.
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: Ah, so grandma was a little on the wild side.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and they told me stories. They were both in
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: seminary school down in Florida, and back then you couldn't
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: go on regular dates, and so every day my grandfather
• 22:47
  Speaker 4: would go out of his way to walk her to breakfast, lunch,
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: and dinner. And when they did go on their first date,
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: they had to be they had to have a chaperone,
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: and so they chose the teacher that was hard of hearing,
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: and one of my grandfather's friends went along and he
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: made a distraction so my grandfather could hold my grandmother's hands.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, and now they're holding hands in eternity.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I will play a song for him, for your grandma,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: but mostly for you.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: Thank you very much, Delilah.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: All right, God bless you. Honey, thank you for Colin,
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you for letting me be a part of your family.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: Thank you very much.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: What a sweet, mature young woman. Victoria had no choice
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: about her mom letting her go when she was just
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: a baby. She decided not to get angry. Instead, she
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: let go of the idea of that relationship and instead
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: embrace the love her grandparents did have to share with her.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: The last call I'm going to share with you in
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: this podcast is from a man named Brian. Brian is
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: in a relationship that he wants to end, only he's
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: not admitting that to himself, and in doing so, he's
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: stringing along a woman who is younger than him, who
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: is committed to him, even though he's not all in.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I can tell Brian's a really good guy, but he's
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: having some trouble telling himself the truth. The truth is,
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: he told it to me. He's not interested in committing
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: and loving her completely and fully. He needs to let
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: her go so she can move on, so that she
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: can find the right one. He's not, mister Wright. He
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: knows that, and she is entitled to somebody who will
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: adore her. Let's hear from Brian right now. Tell me
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: what you think, Brian, this is Delilah. Speak up nice
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: and loud so I can hear you. What can I
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: do for you?
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Yes, Uh, I'm kind of in a dilemm here. I
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: want to move away to another state because I'm going
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: back and want to go back home to another state,
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: and my girlfriend here wants to go with me, and
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: I really don't want her to.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: So you're trying to break up with her, but be
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: smooth about it. Huh.
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: Well, I don't want to, but I don't want her
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: to have to move and move her family and everything
• 25:22
  Speaker 5: and move away from her family too, because I don't
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: see where it's fair.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: But I mean, how old are you? I'm forty nine,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: and how old is your girlfriend?
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: She's thirty seven.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: So what you're saying is you don't want to live
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: with her, You don't want to be with her, You
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: want your independence, and you want to go. So don't
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: try to be a hero and say, oh, I just
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: don't want you to have to move your family baby,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah, because that's not the truth. Brian. If
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: you wanted to be with her, if she was the
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: top priority, you would move having and earth to stay
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: with her and to make it work. The fact that
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: you would rather go back to your mama or your
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: family or whoever, and you don't want her to come
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: with means you don't want to commit her, which is fine.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Just be honest about what you want.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: The fact that you are wanting to move to a
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: completely different state and you do not want her and
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: her family to move to that state means this relationship
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: is not your top priority, which is fine. Just be
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: honest about it.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: So you're saying I should just go ahead and be
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: done with the relationship.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I'm saying you should be honest with yourself and if
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: she is not your top priority and say I enjoy you,
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I love you. You have a lot of great qualities,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: but you are not my top priority.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: Right. I do owe it that much?
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: You do, and you owe yourself that much. You owe
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: yourself the truth. There is no crime, there is no foul,
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: There is nothing wrong with saying this is not what
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I envision for my future. You don't have to beat
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: yourself up. You're not a bad person. You haven't done
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: anything wrong. So love her enough and respect her enough
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: to be honest about that.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Right, you know, I do over that much.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: You do owe her that much, and then you can
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: move on with your life and she will be free
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: to find the person that loves her enough to move
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: heaven and earth just to wake up and see her
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: beautiful face.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Yes, she deserves that, so do you. Yeah. I appreciate
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: the advice good luck.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: That call from Brian spoke to me so much, because honestly,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: I have been on both sides of that equation. I have.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: It's more than okay to end or leave a relationship
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: that's not working, not a marriage. It's not okay to
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: just walk away from a marriage because that's a sacred
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: covenant that you need to work on if you can,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: and you need to save it if you can. But
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: when you are dating somebody, it's okay to say, hey,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: this isn't the right fit. You know what, I know it,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Let's kiss and say goodbye so we can find the
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: person that we fit with. You don't have to be disingenuous,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: just be honest, and though it's going to hurt, letting
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: go is the kindest thing you can do when you
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: know you are not fully invested. Lastly, I want to
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: share with you one of the sweetest prayers that I
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: learned in the twelve step program. You've heard it. I'm
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: sure it's called the Serenity Prayer. No matter your faith,
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I am sure many of you know this. God grant
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: to know the difference. God grant me the serenity to
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: accept the things I cannot change. That is other people,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: that is politics, that is the economics of our world,
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: that is any body outside of you. The courage to
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: change the things I can. That means change your attitude,
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: change your behaviors, change the way you relate to situations
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: or people. Change your eating habits, change your sleeping habits,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: take care of you, eat healthy food, go for long walks,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: get plenty of rest, change your environment. If you must move,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: leave the area, find a better job, find a better fit.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: The wisdom to know the difference. That's the key. Sometimes
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: we do not have that wisdom innately, but God can
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: give it to us. God can illuminate the situations we
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: need to be letting go of. Thank you for joining
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: me today. Your stories both touch me and teach me
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: a lot. So if you have something to share, if
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: you have a God's story. You want to share how
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: God has laid something on your heart put you in
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: a new direction. Answer to prayer, Call me Monday through
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Friday one eight eight, eight, six, three, three, five, four
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: five two until next time. Subscribe to this podcast anywhere
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: you download your podcast, and remember to have a little faith,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Be love,