Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Light vs. Fear: How to Move Even When You’re Scared (S5) S5:E4
Transcript
- 0:41Hello, everyone, it's great to be with you
- 0:43on Inspirations for Your Life.
- 0:46I'm John Seymour, your host.
- 0:48Thanks so much for joining in.
- 0:50It is Tuesday.
- 0:51It's January 27, 2026, and we're talking all
- 0:56about unity versus division, how ego splits friend
- 1:01groups, teams, and communities.
- 1:03I think sometimes this can be a very
- 1:09big challenge for a lot of people, but
- 1:13I can tell you that this is something
- 1:15a lot of people don't really understand sometimes.
- 1:20They don't really get what's going on or
- 1:24why something's going on.
- 1:26They get stuck in the lurch.
- 1:30That's probably the best thing I can say
- 1:32to you.
- 1:33I hope that you all are having a
- 1:35very great week.
- 1:38Success is not something that just happens overnight,
- 1:41guys.
- 1:43It is something that we have to keep
- 1:46thinking about.
- 1:49It's something that we have to keep working
- 1:51toward.
- 1:52All right.
- 1:57That's the most important thing I have to
- 1:59say to you.
- 2:01If you don't understand those things, then you're
- 2:07going to be, I'm going to say, very,
- 2:09very, very, very lost, all right?
- 2:14Not because you want to be lost, but
- 2:18because, well, you are lost.
- 2:22And so sometimes we do something, but then
- 2:28we don't always know why we're doing it
- 2:30or what we're doing.
- 2:32I think that can become a huge problem
- 2:34for, I'm going to say, a lot of
- 2:37people, all right?
- 2:38A very, a lot of people.
- 2:42And when we think about these things, we
- 2:46get stuck because we don't necessarily understand things
- 2:51like light and fear and where these things
- 2:54are propelling us toward.
- 2:55Hopefully they're motivating us to do something really
- 2:58great.
- 2:59First of all, guys, if this is your
- 3:00very first time joining me on Inspirations for
- 3:02Your Life, I want to take this opportunity
- 3:05to say welcome, and I want to say
- 3:08thank you to you for deciding to watch
- 3:11or just listen to the show.
- 3:14It is really a privilege and a pleasure
- 3:16to be with all of you here tonight
- 3:19on the Inspirations for Your Life show.
- 3:23If you're coming back, of course, guys, I
- 3:25want to say thank you and I want
- 3:26to say welcome back.
- 3:28It is a privilege and, of course, a
- 3:31big pleasure.
- 3:32If you have been here before or not,
- 3:35don't forget to check out BelieveMeLive.com.
- 3:38We're talking more about mastering light versus fear,
- 3:41how to move even when you're scared.
- 3:43And I know this can be hard for
- 3:45a lot of people.
- 3:46By the way, if you're thirsty, grab yourself
- 3:47some water or a snack, a fruit, some
- 3:49juice, healthy or not, that's up to you.
- 3:52So welcome back to Inspirations for Your Life.
- 3:54I am John Seymour, a serial entrepreneur, engineer,
- 3:58marketing specialist, video producer, podcast host, coach, keynote
- 4:02speaker, graduate student, and yes, guys, a passionate
- 4:05lifelong learner.
- 4:07Today or tonight's conversation is about something every
- 4:10single one of us faces, whether we admit
- 4:14it or not.
- 4:15That's fear, false evidence appearing real.
- 4:17Not the obvious fear, not the horror movie
- 4:20fear, but the quiet fear that delays decisions,
- 4:24softens our voice, and convinces us to wait
- 4:27for a future version of ourselves that somehow
- 4:30never arrives.
- 4:32There's an ancient line that says, the Lord
- 4:34is my light, whom should I fear?
- 4:37We're not taking this as theology today.
- 4:40We're taking it as mindset.
- 4:43Light represents clarity, direction, truth, and self-trust.
- 4:47Fear represents uncertainty, imagined danger, and emotional protection.
- 4:53The mechanisms that are often outdated, guys.
- 4:56This episode tonight is about learning how to
- 4:59move forward even while your hands shake.
- 5:03You don't need fear to disappear.
- 5:05You need light to be louder.
- 5:09Fear and the schedule it controls.
- 5:12Fear often hides your calendar, that one thing
- 5:16you kept pushing to the next week.
- 5:18That's not procrastination, guys.
- 5:20That's fear with a planner.
- 5:23Our first point is that one fear that
- 5:26has way too much power over your schedule,
- 5:29you know what I mean, the one that
- 5:31kind of debilitates you, the one that makes
- 5:35you procrastinate.
- 5:36You know what I'm talking about.
- 5:38Number two, fear doesn't always yell.
- 5:40Sometimes it sounds like, maybe next week, maybe
- 5:44tomorrow, maybe another time.
- 5:47When it's soft and subtle, we think it's
- 5:51okay, but we have to push back a
- 5:54little bit.
- 5:55Intuition versus anxiety.
- 5:57One of the hardest skills to learn is
- 6:00telling intuition from anxiety.
- 6:02Intuition is calm, clear, and steady.
- 6:04Anxiety is loud, urgent, and yes, repetitive.
- 6:08Number three, how to tell the difference between
- 6:11intuition and anxiety.
- 6:12Number four, how to tell the difference between
- 6:12intuition and anxiety, micro-bravery, 10-second decisions
- 6:16that change your month.
- 6:18Naming the fear.
- 6:20When you say, I'm just overthinking, what you're
- 6:22often doing or meaning is, I'm scared to
- 6:25move.
- 6:26Naming fear takes away its mystery.
- 6:29Number five, why I'm just overthinking is really,
- 6:33I'm scared to move.
- 6:36I don't know if I'm going to be
- 6:38okay if I move.
- 6:40Number six, guys, the fear of being seen
- 6:43failing is bigger than the fear of failing.
- 6:48Moving with fear-courage isn't confidence.
- 6:51Courage is action in the presence of fear.
- 6:54I think that's something a lot of people
- 6:56miss.
- 6:57Number seven, yes, I admit I'm nervous, but
- 7:00I'm doing it anyway, right?
- 7:02Fear the fear that you have and do
- 7:05it anyway.
- 7:05Number eight, show your hands shaking while you
- 7:10do the thing anyway.
- 7:12Where fear hides, fear often runs, three areas
- 7:17quietly, money, love, and visibility.
- 7:22Number nine, guys, three areas where fear secretly
- 7:25runs your life, it's important to understand them
- 7:28and know that we should not be afraid
- 7:31of any of them.
- 7:33Number 10, guys, why your nervous system thinks
- 7:36new opportunities are threats.
- 7:39It's pretty easy.
- 7:41The nervous system is designed to keep us
- 7:43alive, right, the fight or flight mechanism.
- 7:45And when something comes in that seems different
- 7:49or uncomfortable, our nervous system fights back to
- 7:53try to protect us, right, survival.
- 7:57Guidance over fearlessness.
- 7:59You don't need to be fearless.
- 8:01You need to be guided by values, clarity,
- 8:04and intention every single day.
- 8:06Not just one day, not just one moment,
- 8:10not just for even one thing.
- 8:13You have to do it consistently.
- 8:16Number 11, you don't need to be fearless.
- 8:20You need to be guided.
- 8:22And I think sometimes when we think about
- 8:24that whole notion, people get a little bit
- 8:27confused.
- 8:28They get a little bit, how can I
- 8:31say, lost.
- 8:33Number 12, how to build a courage routine
- 8:37for days you want to hide.
- 8:41I know sometimes you might say, gee, you
- 8:43know, I can't get on stage or I
- 8:45can't present or I can't face that person.
- 8:49I can't face that client.
- 8:50I can't face that friend.
- 8:53I can't face that situation.
- 8:57You're stronger than you think.
- 9:00And realize that fear is just false evidence
- 9:04appearing real.
- 9:05And what it's doing is it's getting you
- 9:06to procrastinate and it's doing a very good
- 9:08job of it.
- 9:09Number seven, social fear, sometimes fear isn't internal.
- 9:14It's reinforced externally.
- 9:17And this is the seventh major, let's say,
- 9:22tetran.
- 9:23It's not the point.
- 9:23But it's the tetran of what we're working
- 9:26toward.
- 9:27Number 13, the friend who feeds your fear
- 9:31with be careful energy, fear disguises itself as
- 9:37perfectionism.
- 9:38I know.
- 9:39I've been through it.
- 9:41And I'll say what I've said many times
- 9:42before, done is better than perfect.
- 9:45I know we all want it to be
- 9:47done just perfectly, so correctly.
- 9:49But again, done is better than perfect.
- 9:53We can always go back and do it
- 9:55again and again.
- 9:57The next level, growth rarely feels safe.
- 10:01It feels unfamiliar, but right to us.
- 10:04And sometimes we need a little bit of
- 10:06a break.
- 10:08Your next level won't feel safe.
- 10:10It will feel uncomfortable, but right.
- 10:14Negotiating with fear like an overprotective parent.
- 10:17I think that's an important one.
- 10:20Identity shifts.
- 10:22One day you walk into a room you
- 10:24feared and realize you belonged.
- 10:28And that might be something that actually wakes
- 10:30up not just you, but your entire nervous
- 10:32system and how you approach and deal with
- 10:35life.
- 10:37Number 17, point of view.
- 10:40You belong now.
- 10:43One breathing trick for hard conversations.
- 10:46You belong.
- 10:48You deserve to be here.
- 10:51It's not a privilege.
- 10:54It is your right to be here.
- 10:58That's hard for a lot of people to
- 11:00grasp.
- 11:02After action, courage doesn't end when the action
- 11:06is done.
- 11:07You have to keep keeping on.
- 11:10It's that victory that we have that propels
- 11:14us forward and gives us the energy to
- 11:15act again and again and again.
- 11:19Number 19, guys, handling post-action shame.
- 11:26Maybe you've done something.
- 11:27You're not proud of it.
- 11:28The best way to handle this is to
- 11:31do what is right.
- 11:34To do what's right even when no one
- 11:37else is watching.
- 11:38I've said this many, many, many times in
- 11:41the past.
- 11:43Do it when no one else is watching,
- 11:46not just when they're watching.
- 11:49That's important.
- 11:50That's what builds the character within us.
- 11:54Number 20, guys, rejection is proof.
- 11:58You're in the arena.
- 11:59So why are you giving up?
- 12:02Why are you saying, I'm not good enough?
- 12:05Why are you doing all these?
- 12:06I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
- 12:09When really you are, you are, you are.
- 12:12Start to believe in yourself and you'll see
- 12:15how much it changes you.
- 12:17Flipping the script, what if it actually works?
- 12:20I'm here to tell you it does.
- 12:23Many times people play devil's advocate.
- 12:26Why not reverse that and actually play in
- 12:30a way that works out?
- 12:32Start imagining things working out instead of things
- 12:35not working.
- 12:35Start imagining things actually working out.
- 12:39Number 21, flip the script, flip the anxiety
- 12:44script.
- 12:45When you're so nervous and you can't breathe
- 12:48or you can't hold something, that's your nervousness
- 12:52in action.
- 12:54Take a deep breath.
- 12:55Relax.
- 12:56It's going to be OK, I promise.
- 13:00Why growth feels like danger to the body?
- 13:04Here's why.
- 13:05It's protecting itself.
- 13:07It's fight or flight.
- 13:09And the body doesn't like to get involved
- 13:11with things that are, well, uncomfortable.
- 13:15You guys before, it's in the uncomfortability that
- 13:20success actually lies.
- 13:22In the uncomfortability, that's where success lies.
- 13:27But today, I'm talking about every single day
- 13:29of your life.
- 13:30That is where success lies.
- 13:34And that's important to know.
- 13:39Language matters, guys.
- 13:41Words shape fear.
- 13:43I'll give you an example.
- 13:45Attorneys use words to shape fear.
- 13:49Now, you might be saying to me, John,
- 13:51that's crazy.
- 13:52Well, I'm going to tell you that it's
- 13:54not crazy.
- 13:55It is actually the truth.
- 13:57So how do attorneys, let's just say, if
- 14:02we had to ask ourselves this very, very
- 14:04important question, how do attorneys use words to
- 14:08create fear?
- 14:10How do they do that?
- 14:12Does anybody know?
- 14:14It's a very interesting skill they have.
- 14:19Now, the skill may not always be ethical.
- 14:23But they use language in a very distinct
- 14:29and deliberate way to create pressure, urgency, or
- 14:31perceived risks, sometimes to protect the client, sometimes
- 14:35to push the other side toward compliance or
- 14:37settlement.
- 14:38And the most common way, legal language creates
- 14:42fear, explained really basically.
- 14:46At ambiguous threat, lawyers rarely say, we will
- 14:49do x.
- 14:49Instead, they write things like, we're evaluating all
- 14:52available legal remedies.
- 14:54This matter may result in further action.
- 14:56Failure to respond could have consequences.
- 14:58Your brain fills in the worst case scenario.
- 15:04Formal authoritative tone, passive voice, long sentences, complex
- 15:08structure that boggles our mind.
- 15:10Something serious is happening, and I'm already behind.
- 15:14Time is of the essence.
- 15:16Immediate attention required.
- 15:18Respond within 10 days.
- 15:19Urgency increases anxiety and reduces critical thinking power.
- 15:23Words like liability, exposure, breach, damages, sanctions, they
- 15:29don't really sound too good, do they?
- 15:32But they get us to act.
- 15:34Attorneys often outline things like maximum penalties, hypothetical
- 15:38outcomes, the most extreme interpretation of events.
- 15:43Authority signaling things like case citations, statutes of
- 15:47limitations, letterhead, CCing parties.
- 15:51We have power, precedent, and backup.
- 15:53They also use silence.
- 15:54After sending a heavy letter, lawyers often go
- 15:57quiet.
- 15:58Rumination, assumption, escalating anxiety.
- 16:02Conditional language like, if this matter is not
- 16:05resolved.
- 16:07Absent, a sub-satisfactory response.
- 16:11They'll tie consequences to your personality.
- 16:14You may be held responsible.
- 16:15Your actions expose you to maybe strategic uncertainty.
- 16:19They don't clarify things.
- 16:21What action they'll take.
- 16:22What they'll take it to.
- 16:25How strong their case is.
- 16:28Legal language is often performative, not predictive.
- 16:32Many scary letters are opening positions, negotiation tactics,
- 16:36designed to provoke response, not litigation.
- 16:39Most attorneys don't want to go to court.
- 16:42They want to settle.
- 16:45And that's important to understand.
- 16:49Don't respond emotionally or immediately.
- 16:51Take the time.
- 16:53Get a neutral explanation if needed.
- 16:55Separate possibility from probability.
- 16:58Read for what is actually stated, not implied.
- 17:01And I think understanding that a lot of
- 17:04it is legal jargon, and it scares a
- 17:06lot of people.
- 17:07I'll be honest with you.
- 17:09Words in the legal arena, they create fear.
- 17:13They also do another thing.
- 17:14They remove the attorney and their client or
- 17:17their corporation from even having the possibility that
- 17:24they're responsible.
- 17:25A lot of times they settle, and they
- 17:27say by settling, we're not admitting guilt.
- 17:30So what the heck are they doing?
- 17:32It's very interesting.
- 17:35Three fear sentences to stop using.
- 17:38I've given you a lot.
- 17:40But if you don't do this, I will.
- 17:44If this matter is not resolved by X,
- 17:50you don't want to say I'll take you
- 17:51to court.
- 17:51That's a threat.
- 17:52If this matter is not resolved, I'll need
- 17:55to seek other options.
- 17:57Never use court as a threat, because that
- 18:05could be held against you in harassment.
- 18:10Number 24, realizing the person you feared is
- 18:13human.
- 18:14What I found with a lot of attorneys
- 18:17is their bark is very strong behind the
- 18:20telephone or at the bench.
- 18:24But when you come to see them, they're
- 18:27like a puppy dog.
- 18:29It's an act.
- 18:32Staying power sometimes, courage is staying.
- 18:36Number 25, the quiet flex, staying when you
- 18:41want to run, when every bone, every ligament,
- 18:45every part of your body says get out
- 18:47of here.
- 18:48Number 26, guys, how to self-soothe after
- 18:52hard decisions.
- 18:54Seeing possibility, representation reduces fear.
- 19:00Number 27, seeing someone like you do the
- 19:04thing gets people to respond, gets people to
- 19:08change their perspective.
- 19:11And we said before, perspective is nothing more
- 19:14than what?
- 19:15It is a lens.
- 19:16When we change the lens, everything in our
- 19:19life changes, right?
- 19:21If we change a lens that suddenly has
- 19:23a prism, well, we start seeing prisms.
- 19:25If we change a lens that's black and
- 19:26white, we see the world as black and
- 19:28white.
- 19:29We create the filters and then apply that,
- 19:34and that affects our outcome.
- 19:38Number 28, showing up the day after courage.
- 19:44Courage.
- 19:46I want to divest a minute to Merriam
- 19:54-Webster.
- 19:55And I want to go right to basically
- 19:59their definition of courage.
- 20:00I'm going to take it right from them
- 20:02so you get this right from the horse's
- 20:04mouth.
- 20:04Courage, it's a noun, mental and moral strength
- 20:07to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or
- 20:11difficulty.
- 20:12A new friend helps her find the courage
- 20:15to talk about her feelings.
- 20:19In the end, when you don't have courage,
- 20:23you kind of lose conviction.
- 20:26When you don't have courage, it's like there's
- 20:29no cement holding the foundation together.
- 20:35When you don't have courage, it's like you're
- 20:43getting a dinner with no food on the
- 20:45plate.
- 20:46When you don't have courage, it's like you
- 20:49don't have a leg to stand on.
- 20:51And these are all proverbial, but I think
- 20:53they hopefully drive the point home, okay?
- 20:59I think that's an important thing to really
- 21:02realize is how this works.
- 21:07And there's truth in this.
- 21:10There's truth in believing that you have more
- 21:12power than you ever believed was possible.
- 21:18If I gave you the perception and said,
- 21:20you're a great student, guess what happens?
- 21:23You become that.
- 21:25If I say you're a horrible student, then
- 21:27you start living up to that.
- 21:28So labels are bad, but when we use
- 21:33a good label, people wanna live up to
- 21:36it.
- 21:37If we use a bad label, they will
- 21:38too.
- 21:39So use labels sparingly.
- 21:42Use labels that are gonna make people feel
- 21:46good.
- 21:47Even if they don't fit that label today,
- 21:49maybe they can.
- 21:50Maybe it's a positive attribute.
- 21:52Like, you know, you're really smart or you're
- 21:55really a great listener.
- 21:58They're gonna grow into those characteristics.
- 22:01That's powerful.
- 22:03The closing truth, ladies and gentlemen, you're allowed
- 22:06to be scared and still lead your life.
- 22:11Many people think if you're scared, you can't
- 22:14drive a ship.
- 22:15You can't operate.
- 22:17You can.
- 22:19Number 29, you're allowed to be scared and
- 22:22still be the main character of your life.
- 22:25Just because you're scared doesn't mean you're throwing
- 22:30in the towel.
- 22:31Too many people do because they don't think
- 22:33they have a chance.
- 22:35They don't realize that if they alter their
- 22:36perspective even just a tiny bit, their life
- 22:39could do a complete 180.
- 22:41Number 30, fear has a loud voice.
- 22:44Your future has receipts.
- 22:50What do I mean by that?
- 22:51If we had to think about that for
- 22:52a second, when I say fear has a
- 22:58loud voice and it has receipts, what is
- 23:04the meaning of that?
- 23:08Think about that for a second.
- 23:10Think long and hard.
- 23:12What does that really mean to you?
- 23:16Fear has a loud voice.
- 23:21Your future has receipts.
- 23:25Fear has a loud voice.
- 23:27Your future has receipts.
- 23:31This is what it means.
- 23:32Fear talks nonstop.
- 23:34It's dramatic, urgent, emotional.
- 23:36It says things like, this will go badly.
- 23:39You're not ready.
- 23:40Don't risk it.
- 23:41Fear doesn't whisper.
- 23:43It interrupts.
- 23:44It exaggerates and demands your attention, but it
- 23:47has no receipts.
- 23:49Receipts?
- 23:49Yup.
- 23:50Proof, facts, evidence.
- 23:52You know how things have gone in the
- 23:53past.
- 23:54Go back to those receipts and you can
- 23:55relive them again.
- 23:57Fear usually can't show real data back it
- 23:59up, but truth can.
- 24:01It relies on what ifs, not what is
- 24:04or what actually happened.
- 24:06Fear shouts possibilities without ever stating a grain
- 24:10of proof.
- 24:11Your future growth and progress have evidence, past
- 24:14wins, skills, resilience, and learning.
- 24:17In other words, fear is noise.
- 24:19Growth is documented.
- 24:21One is emotional.
- 24:22The other is factual.
- 24:24It's an imitation to ask, what proof do
- 24:26I actually have that will fail?
- 24:29What proof do I have that I've handled
- 24:32hard things before?
- 24:33Most of the time, fear talks louder, but
- 24:36your life history is the receipt.
- 24:38If you understand this, then you'll realize that
- 24:43you can draw on these receipts.
- 24:46And I think a lot of us forget
- 24:50that we have these receipts in our lives,
- 24:52that we have this proof that can change
- 24:55us.
- 24:56If you remember, I'll give you an example.
- 24:59And I went on the roller coaster for
- 25:00the very first time.
- 25:02Now, it's not a big deal.
- 25:04The first time I went on, it was
- 25:04like a big deal.
- 25:06Because I overcame that fear, getting on a
- 25:10roller coaster is not a big deal for
- 25:11me anymore.
- 25:13Okay?
- 25:14But the first time it was like, oh
- 25:17my gosh.
- 25:18All these things kept going through my mind.
- 25:22But when I started to let go, when
- 25:23I started to enjoy the ride, it was
- 25:25like, wow, why was I being such a
- 25:28stick in the mud?
- 25:28Why was I so fearful?
- 25:29This is actually fun.
- 25:34But to have fun, you need to let
- 25:36go.
- 25:37You need to relax.
- 25:39You need to breathe.
- 25:40You need to soak up the atmosphere.
- 25:45That's powerful, guys.
- 25:47But a lot of people never do it.
- 25:49Why?
- 25:50Because someone else told them it's not a
- 25:52good idea.
- 25:53Or because maybe they read an article or
- 25:56they saw a video about something that was
- 25:58tragic.
- 26:00That doesn't mean you should never try it.
- 26:03Maybe not use that part.
- 26:06But incidents are very far and few between.
- 26:11I think this is the important matter we
- 26:13wanna know.
- 26:15Ladies and gentlemen, if this episode resonated even
- 26:20a tiny bit, please share it with someone
- 26:23who needs a little more light today.
- 26:27They'll be so glad that you decided to
- 26:30do this.
- 26:31They may thank you.
- 26:33They may share it with someone else they
- 26:34know.
- 26:35But most importantly, you're gonna get them from
- 26:37being unstuck to being movable, enjoying life, and
- 26:43becoming a success.
- 26:43In other words, getting them to thrive instead
- 26:47of just survive.
- 26:48Be sure, ladies and gentlemen, to please check
- 26:51out BelieveMeAchieved.com for more of my amazing,
- 26:55inspiring, short-form and long-form content available
- 26:5824 seven from your computer and smart devices.
- 27:02That's reels, that's articles, and so much more.
- 27:06This is John C.
- 27:07Morley reminding you courage isn't the absence of
- 27:11fear.
- 27:12It's movement with meaning.
- 27:15Are you ready to start making these changes
- 27:17in your life?
- 27:17I know you are.
- 27:19I know some of you are saying, John,
- 27:20but you don't understand my life.
- 27:22I'm not telling you to go for the
- 27:25biggest one.
- 27:26I'm telling you to take a small leap.
- 27:29And when you get comfortable with that small
- 27:31leap, you'll take a bigger leap.
- 27:33And then when you sit back and be
- 27:36like, oh my gosh, I did it.
- 27:39This was an amazing feeling.
- 27:41And I could do it again, and I
- 27:43could do it again, and I could do
- 27:44it again.
- 27:45And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the power
- 27:47of your mind.
- 27:50Please do check out BelieveMeAchieved.com.
- 27:53And I know that if you make the
- 27:56choice, your life will become even better one
- 27:59day at a time.
- 28:00Have a good one, everyone, and be well.
- 28:03♪ Hey,
- 28:27hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
- 28:28hey, hey ♪