Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / Happy Hour #131: Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl... (SATC S3, E4)
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. Welcome to stuff I
- 0:07Speaker 1: Never told you a prediction by Heart Radio.
- 0:18Speaker 2: And welcome to another happy hour edition of rewatching for me,
- 0:24Speaker 2: first time watching for any of Sex and the City.
- 0:28Speaker 2: And yes we are in season three, episode four. If
- 0:32Speaker 2: you are drinking or doing whatever, do so responsibly. This
- 0:37Speaker 2: is an adult show. I think it is rated TVMA.
- 0:42Speaker 2: So if you're new to this and you're like, oh,
- 0:44Speaker 2: I'll jump in, just know probably don't want to listen
- 0:48Speaker 2: around children. Because we are not watching the edited version.
- 0:55Speaker 2: So this is not from the CW. The CW still exists,
- 0:58Speaker 2: it does, Okay, Bravo. I think it's on Bravo if
- 1:01Speaker 2: we are watching if you have Netflix not a sponsor
- 1:04Speaker 2: that version because that's unedited, right, is un edited?
- 1:07Speaker 3: It is, but we're not watching it on I'm not watching.
- 1:11Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm just thinking like the access many people
- 1:14Speaker 2: are more likely to access it through Netflix than than Max.
- 1:19Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:20Speaker 1: I mean we've mentioned that recently, but that has been
- 1:23Speaker 1: an interesting thing that has come out of Sex and
- 1:26Speaker 1: the City being.
- 1:27Speaker 3: Available on Netflix. Yes, now a lot.
- 1:29Speaker 1: Of younger people are seeing it for the first time
- 1:33Speaker 1: and having some thoughts.
- 1:34Speaker 2: Yes, And speaking of which, So this episode is one
- 1:37Speaker 2: of those episodes that I have been warning Annie about
- 1:40Speaker 2: because this season is a roller coaster of a season.
- 1:43Speaker 2: I think it's fairly offensive. It has not aged well,
- 1:47Speaker 2: I will guarantee, because I feel like it's been a minute.
- 1:49Speaker 2: So I've seen this episode, but I remember watching it
- 1:51Speaker 2: then going oh, eh no. And it's kind of one
- 1:55Speaker 2: of those things where we are going to I'm going
- 1:59Speaker 2: to spoiler alert talk about bisexuality, and in it, like
- 2:03Speaker 2: there's some very dated references to bisexuality, and we already
- 2:07Speaker 2: know the level of discrimination that happens from both the
- 2:11Speaker 2: queer and the heterosexual community when it comes to bisexuality,
- 2:16Speaker 2: and it kind of perpetuates that. So go ahead and
- 2:18Speaker 2: put that at the top. They try to make funny jokes.
- 2:22Speaker 2: It doesn't land, but there are other parts to it
- 2:26Speaker 2: that is interesting at the very least. So with all
- 2:31Speaker 2: of that, we're going to do our tradition. Now I've
- 2:33Speaker 2: given you a big hint, Amy, so you know, you know,
- 2:38Speaker 2: first and foremost, can you recap for us what has
- 2:40Speaker 2: been happening on season three?
- 2:42Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 2:42Speaker 1: So this season, I feel like we've started with most
- 2:46Speaker 1: of the team and turmoil again. I feel like Samantle's
- 2:48Speaker 1: always doing her own thing. But Carrie broke up with
- 2:55Speaker 1: Bigs and then saw wedding advertisements. I said big because
- 3:00Speaker 1: that's Star Wars. I'm so sorry, mister big size for him.
- 3:09Speaker 1: And you always say bridget Natasha, Yes, and then they've
- 3:14Speaker 1: run into each other. So there's been some like drama
- 3:17Speaker 1: and hurt around that. Charlotte is once again trying to
- 3:24Speaker 1: find a husband, very determined, was talking about finding a
- 3:29Speaker 1: political husband or all kinds of things.
- 3:32Speaker 3: She's looking.
- 3:33Speaker 1: Miranda is trying to be independent but still has Steve
- 3:37Speaker 1: in her life and is trying to find out what
- 3:41Speaker 1: she wants with him and with her life and what
- 3:45Speaker 1: that means for her independence. And yeah, Samantha's just living
- 3:49Speaker 1: the best the best time.
- 3:51Speaker 2: Samantha is Samantha ing yes as we like to say it. Okay,
- 3:56Speaker 2: So for this title, it is boy girl, boy girl.
- 4:01Speaker 2: Do you have a clue about what this could be?
- 4:06Speaker 3: You have a clue, I have a clue. I have
- 4:09Speaker 3: a clue.
- 4:11Speaker 1: If it's if you feel, based on what you said
- 4:15Speaker 1: that it's like bisexuality or rasure, then I would say
- 4:21Speaker 1: it has something.
- 4:22Speaker 3: To do with either you like boys or you like girls.
- 4:28Speaker 1: You don't like either, but where would this come up
- 4:32Speaker 1: at the club at brunch?
- 4:38Speaker 4: In the club or the brunch.
- 4:41Speaker 1: Because I feel like that I'm not I'm not giving
- 4:43Speaker 1: any specifics, but I guess that's why there's going to
- 4:47Speaker 1: be talk about it's this or that.
- 4:52Speaker 4: Okay, I get okay, Oh I forgot.
- 4:56Speaker 2: There is a nineties icon that's two thousand's icon of
- 5:01Speaker 2: guess that's about to appear ninety two thousand and she's
- 5:05Speaker 2: only in it for a second.
- 5:06Speaker 4: I'm excited. I must say.
- 5:07Speaker 2: If you I think you will. If you don't, you
- 5:10Speaker 2: have shamed your karaoke your self.
- 5:13Speaker 4: Yeah, oh no, handle that the pressure?
- 5:18Speaker 5: All right?
- 5:18Speaker 4: Are you ready to sorry?
- 5:19Speaker 1: Yes?
- 5:20Speaker 3: All right, dry kings.
- 5:34Speaker 6: The collision of illusion and reality.
- 5:39Speaker 3: Did not look at that bunch. It's shocking.
- 5:43Speaker 7: Yeah, I know, hurry up and look before Juliani shuts
- 5:45Speaker 7: it down.
- 5:46Speaker 4: From Juliani who probably about to be disbarred.
- 5:50Speaker 3: This is strange washing it now.
- 5:53Speaker 4: A time he was seen as normal, not great, but normal.
- 5:57Speaker 1: Also, this is I hadn't thought about this before or
- 6:01Speaker 1: but it's interesting in terms of their jobs. Yeah, where
- 6:05Speaker 1: you have a friend who's like, come to my art
- 6:08Speaker 1: gallery presentation, you've got your sex writer, you've got your
- 6:12Speaker 1: lawyer because I feel like a lot of my friends.
- 6:14Speaker 1: You're coming to my job. You're just watching me, like
- 6:17Speaker 1: talking to a computer. You know it's not a social outing.
- 6:21Speaker 4: Your social outing is D and D.
- 6:23Speaker 3: We know that. Yes, yes, I.
- 6:31Speaker 8: Feel we have dual powers within each of us. Men
- 6:35Speaker 8: could be very female and women could be very male.
- 6:39Speaker 8: Gender is an illusion, sometimes a very beautiful illusion.
- 6:45Speaker 4: Yeah. See, I don't think he's so far off on
- 6:49Speaker 4: this conversation.
- 6:50Speaker 3: Shoh, I do think so either.
- 6:53Speaker 2: Like I think if we talk instead of saying illusion
- 6:55Speaker 2: and saying it would be construct or spectrum, I feel
- 6:59Speaker 2: like that could be that level.
- 7:08Speaker 6: Later, Miranda was shocked to find her apartment had undergone
- 7:11Speaker 6: a gender transformation of its own.
- 7:18Speaker 5: Chinese.
- 7:21Speaker 1: He put in a TV sports thought it it's a
- 7:24Speaker 1: male household now.
- 7:26Speaker 4: With kind of a jersey kind of m.
- 7:35Speaker 6: There was something about him. He was sexy, charming, sexy, coordinated.
- 7:41Speaker 6: Nothing about him or our third date was feeling typical.
- 7:44Speaker 1: So care again, when was your last serious relationship until then?
- 7:50Speaker 7: There it was inevitable third date question?
- 7:53Speaker 3: M hm, bad question.
- 7:56Speaker 1: Want to take another spin around the deathwak No, it's
- 8:00Speaker 1: it's fine, It's fine.
- 8:01Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, you're on date three. You need
- 8:04Speaker 2: to be able to talk about like what you're doing right, you.
- 8:07Speaker 3: Know, apparently we weren't.
- 8:08Speaker 4: Why two K compatible? Hy two K can what about you?
- 8:11Speaker 1: I feel like, yes, you should, especially if you want
- 8:16Speaker 1: it to go anywhere.
- 8:18Speaker 2: And before Leslie there was Mark.
- 8:20Speaker 4: Oh. The shock was that he had a relationship with
- 8:23Speaker 4: a guy named Mark.
- 8:27Speaker 7: He's a bisexual.
- 8:28Speaker 3: He's a bisexual, she says.
- 8:34Speaker 2: I'm a trisexual.
- 8:37Speaker 3: I'll try anything.
- 8:38Speaker 2: One correct, correct, just get all confused somewhere between gen
- 8:44Speaker 2: X and gen Yes.
- 8:45Speaker 4: This is where I was saying.
- 8:46Speaker 3: Fair.
- 8:47Speaker 7: You know, I did the date the bisexual guy thing
- 8:50Speaker 7: in college, but in the end they all ended up with.
- 8:53Speaker 2: Men, so did the bisexual women, which explains why there
- 8:56Speaker 2: are no available men left for us, which maybe just
- 9:00Speaker 2: where the beginning of the arguments happened, because I've still
- 9:02Speaker 2: heard that today about like all of them end up
- 9:03Speaker 2: dating men, like all of them, specifically saying this.
- 9:08Speaker 7: I'm not even sure bisexuality exists. I think it's just
- 9:12Speaker 7: a layover on the way to gay town.
- 9:14Speaker 3: Isn't that right? Next to Ricky Martin? People think it's great. Yeah,
- 9:18Speaker 3: act's social experiences.
- 9:21Speaker 2: He's evolved, Sam, just speaking of it's greedy, he's double dipping.
- 9:25Speaker 4: You're not marrying the guy you're does he have just
- 9:28Speaker 4: better off the tope?
- 9:30Speaker 6: You're right, you're right.
- 9:31Speaker 4: I'm very into labels gay, straight.
- 9:34Speaker 3: Pick a side. Yeah, there you go.
- 9:39Speaker 4: It is what it is.
- 9:44Speaker 2: I've got a date with my remote control.
- 9:48Speaker 4: Steve's playing basketball.
- 9:50Speaker 2: That means at least three hours of blissfully uninterrupted alone time.
- 9:54Speaker 2: There's that moment of when you start living or being
- 9:56Speaker 2: in that relationship and you're like, I love you, but
- 9:59Speaker 2: I need about two days without you.
- 10:02Speaker 1: Just I'm gonna say two hours. I love how you
- 10:05Speaker 1: work for days. No, definitely, especially if your place is
- 10:10Speaker 1: a little smaller. Yeah, you don't have like a different Yeah, we.
- 10:15Speaker 2: Have different floors and we don't see each other, like
- 10:18Speaker 2: until he comes down.
- 10:20Speaker 4: He's like, hey, pops in for food and it goes away.
- 10:22Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 10:22Speaker 4: But then like he.
- 10:23Speaker 2: Works sometimes doing shows and he's gone all day, Like, yeah, yes,
- 10:30Speaker 2: I get it.
- 10:32Speaker 8: I would love to have you pose for me.
- 10:37Speaker 4: Oh as a man.
- 10:40Speaker 8: Yeah, you'd be great.
- 10:43Speaker 4: What a pickup line.
- 10:44Speaker 2: I don't think I want you to dressed like a man,
- 10:48Speaker 2: you know for me.
- 10:50Speaker 8: No, but you'd be surprised.
- 10:52Speaker 4: Charlotte every the model lining her.
- 10:56Speaker 3: Oh yes, not me.
- 11:00Speaker 7: I'm really bad at math and I can't change a
- 11:03Speaker 7: tire to save my life.
- 11:06Speaker 3: She can't change a tired and bad at math.
- 11:10Speaker 4: She's a girl. I can't be a man.
- 11:14Speaker 1: The Mulan song is playing loud, playing loud in my head.
- 11:22Speaker 4: I guess better than guy she is.
- 11:29Speaker 2: So this is those episodes where you are like, carry
- 11:32Speaker 2: is the worst? Why would anyone date her?
- 11:35Speaker 1: I feel like that's something you say when you're like
- 11:38Speaker 1: twenty in crage, yeah, and you're drunk and you're just
- 11:43Speaker 1: like wanting any kind of validation, right, Not when you're thirty.
- 11:49Speaker 2: And a sex column a sex columnist who's been through
- 11:52Speaker 2: a relationship that had you questioning whether you're good enough.
- 11:56Speaker 4: Like I guess maybe her trauma.
- 11:57Speaker 2: But this is a different level of like, why do
- 12:00Speaker 2: you need this much validation?
- 12:02Speaker 4: Why does this have to be about you?
- 12:06Speaker 1: Especially because if he's he's into you, what does that matter?
- 12:10Speaker 9: Right?
- 12:10Speaker 3: If there was a man in the past, right.
- 12:14Speaker 2: And why does that make you so insecure? It's kind
- 12:16Speaker 2: of weird that they do, like blame it on him
- 12:19Speaker 2: his youth essentially.
- 12:21Speaker 1: Yeah, because like you said, it felt very dismissive when
- 12:24Speaker 1: he was like one of them happened to be a guy.
- 12:26Speaker 1: I'm not gay, yeah, because that sounds like, yeah, you
- 12:29Speaker 1: were in college and you tried something right right, which
- 12:33Speaker 1: can happen, but it is all so often used to
- 12:36Speaker 1: erase bisexual people.
- 12:39Speaker 9: Exactly, Hey, what what's going on?
- 12:50Speaker 2: You're on my side. I love how she's just sitting
- 12:53Speaker 2: up like she's just already annoying. To be fair, I've
- 12:57Speaker 2: had those moments of like I will push yeah, it's
- 13:01Speaker 2: pillow over and slowly push him over.
- 13:03Speaker 4: I have to do that with Peaches.
- 13:04Speaker 2: Actually have to roll her over because she has gotten
- 13:07Speaker 2: me on so far off the bed that if I
- 13:09Speaker 2: move I fall off.
- 13:10Speaker 4: So I have to physically roll her over.
- 13:13Speaker 2: But even then I'm not sitting up going Hey, maybe.
- 13:19Speaker 9: But.
- 13:22Speaker 8: Maybe if you could spare a drawer or a box
- 13:24Speaker 8: or something, and I could keep my underwear out of
- 13:26Speaker 8: the way.
- 13:27Speaker 4: You want a drawer, he wants a drawer.
- 13:30Speaker 3: He wants a drawer to her apartment.
- 13:33Speaker 9: Actually, actually I like to move in.
- 13:43Speaker 6: Dream of this moment most single women, but Miranda.
- 13:51Speaker 2: I.
- 13:53Speaker 3: Need my space.
- 13:54Speaker 2: I feel like I'm being suffocated.
- 13:59Speaker 7: She is Miranda. It's like you're the guy sometimes.
- 14:05Speaker 1: Oh, general reversal, is that the thing they're all kind
- 14:11Speaker 1: of showcasing typically masculine.
- 14:14Speaker 2: Perhaps or just like no, or the opposite of what
- 14:18Speaker 2: they typically are. Maybe not necessarily because no, Miranda's pretty
- 14:23Speaker 2: like masculine in her like stereotype. I guess it's the
- 14:29Speaker 2: stereotype of being like good job and having our own
- 14:33Speaker 2: house already and not needing to be wanting to be independent,
- 14:37Speaker 2: all those things, which is like attributed to men. You see,
- 14:49Speaker 2: my hips don't pop.
- 14:50Speaker 6: I'm a guy.
- 14:52Speaker 3: You're insane.
- 14:53Speaker 2: This isn't helping me find my inner goddess. This is
- 14:55Speaker 2: making me find my inner humiliation and reached back. This
- 14:58Speaker 2: is also why I don't do class is where instructors
- 15:01Speaker 2: come and talk to you. I have like been in
- 15:04Speaker 2: the classes, like workout classes with people where they don't
- 15:06Speaker 2: talk to me until like they get to know me,
- 15:08Speaker 2: and I'm good with that and then we.
- 15:10Speaker 4: Like tease each other.
- 15:11Speaker 2: But if you're pointing me out, tell me what I'm
- 15:13Speaker 2: doing wrong in the first class?
- 15:15Speaker 4: Hell no, how dare you?
- 15:16Speaker 3: I listened to class once.
- 15:18Speaker 1: You weren't allowed to leave until you could do a
- 15:20Speaker 1: handstand like it was face on time.
- 15:23Speaker 7: You know.
- 15:23Speaker 1: So like whoever did the handstand longest would leave, and
- 15:27Speaker 1: then they would do it again. Whoever did the handstand
- 15:29Speaker 1: longest would leave. This was a class Yeah, and it
- 15:32Speaker 1: was horrible. Yeah, one time I got not the last five.
- 15:37Speaker 6: I think in any relationship, one person's the alpha dog,
- 15:40Speaker 6: the one that's in charge.
- 15:41Speaker 3: That's you.
- 15:42Speaker 6: You don't want to share your water.
- 15:44Speaker 4: Dish, but I'm very free with the chew toys that
- 15:47Speaker 4: you are.
- 15:49Speaker 2: So this is making Mariana question her femininity because she
- 15:54Speaker 2: doesn't want all these things.
- 15:55Speaker 4: I've been there.
- 15:57Speaker 2: That has a lot to do with my like growing
- 15:58Speaker 2: up in a religious home more so than society. But
- 16:01Speaker 2: I mean society doesn't help. But like I'm supposed to
- 16:04Speaker 2: be this feminine thing and I'm like, I don't. I
- 16:05Speaker 2: don't meet this criteria and maybe I'm doing this all wrong.
- 16:13Speaker 5: And who the hell do you think you are? You're boss,
- 16:18Speaker 5: Samantha Jones pr Now, I don't know when she will. Yeah,
- 16:23Speaker 5: well she's been busy. Yeah, you have the attitude too.
- 16:28Speaker 5: On FYI, your party suck.
- 16:32Speaker 2: Wow.
- 16:33Speaker 3: The bad news is you're fired. The good news is
- 16:37Speaker 3: now I can figure you.
- 16:38Speaker 2: Samantha Discovity, no lawsuit whatsoever.
- 16:42Speaker 4: Everything is just fuss.
- 16:45Speaker 3: Well that's my job today.
- 16:46Speaker 4: But I got to the boss and I get to
- 16:53Speaker 4: do a lawsuit. Where can I find a lawyer?
- 16:58Speaker 2: I'm just gonna make you dinner? And then this conference
- 17:03Speaker 2: call went over like two hours, and I went to
- 17:06Speaker 2: the market and the recipe comes for extra virgin olive
- 17:08Speaker 2: one and they only had virgin And how the hell
- 17:10Speaker 2: do I know the difference.
- 17:14Speaker 6: In the jar?
- 17:14Speaker 3: And I'm late, don't move it's glass.
- 17:22Speaker 8: I can't.
- 17:24Speaker 3: I can't do this.
- 17:25Speaker 8: Of course you can't.
- 17:26Speaker 5: We'll order pizza.
- 17:26Speaker 9: It's no big deal.
- 17:27Speaker 2: It's a deal.
- 17:29Speaker 4: I just spelled marinary.
- 17:30Speaker 2: This is why Steve is a good guy here, Like
- 17:33Speaker 2: he just it's easy going. I mean, yes, is he
- 17:38Speaker 2: kind of slop? Does he needs to get things together?
- 17:41Speaker 3: Sure?
- 17:47Speaker 4: Crawling on your shoulder? Jesus, I guess I really am
- 17:50Speaker 4: a woman.
- 17:51Speaker 2: You get this moment of like you try to be
- 17:54Speaker 2: like forward, moving in, like understanding that gender roles is
- 17:59Speaker 2: a con all these things, and then you have scenes
- 18:02Speaker 2: like that were like I really am a woman because
- 18:04Speaker 2: I'm crying, and then there's an internalized misogyny. Hey, what
- 18:14Speaker 2: are you going?
- 18:17Speaker 7: Just more cigarettes?
- 18:22Speaker 6: That was the last night I saw Sean, I realized
- 18:25Speaker 6: they could do whatever they want.
- 18:26Speaker 4: And then she ran. I was too, and you know
- 18:28Speaker 4: he was scarred by that.
- 18:30Speaker 2: Yeah, not scarred, but he was gonna he's gonna talk
- 18:34Speaker 2: about the woman and he was like, could not handle.
- 18:36Speaker 1: She just left and never she went out for cigarettes
- 18:39Speaker 1: and never back. Wow.
- 19:02Speaker 2: Okay, this is one of the Again, as I said before,
- 19:05Speaker 2: this is one of those episodes that I'm like, oh, no, cringe.
- 19:08Speaker 3: Cringe, it's not good.
- 19:13Speaker 2: Yeah, this was one of the ones that I remember
- 19:16Speaker 2: when I originally watched it. I think it was around
- 19:20Speaker 2: the same time I was watching thirty Rock, because thirty
- 19:22Speaker 2: Rock had that episode and said something's very similar like
- 19:26Speaker 2: this just a layover to gaytown essentially, and thinking like, wow,
- 19:31Speaker 2: y'all really do not help this situation at all and
- 19:36Speaker 2: will not allow for like this level of conversation. And yeah,
- 19:40Speaker 2: I think this is definitely again one of those that
- 19:43Speaker 2: you're like, it did not age well. And unfortunately this
- 19:49Speaker 2: this viewpoint is still the same. We hear it still
- 19:53Speaker 2: in the generation of like they're just confused, they just
- 19:56Speaker 2: don't know.
- 19:56Speaker 3: What they want.
- 19:57Speaker 2: They are like being they're so young and immature and
- 20:02Speaker 2: trying these things out and instead of allowing for like no,
- 20:05Speaker 2: but if we really look at the bigger picture of
- 20:08Speaker 2: like being able to say, I guess it's kind of
- 20:12Speaker 2: like the whole pansexual type of conversation of like being
- 20:15Speaker 2: on a spectrum and falling in love with who you
- 20:17Speaker 2: fall in love with who you're falling in love with
- 20:19Speaker 2: that person and not necessarily of that gender. Wish if
- 20:23Speaker 2: his character, Shawn's character had said that instead of saying
- 20:26Speaker 2: I'm not gay, I think would have been a lot
- 20:29Speaker 2: more reasonable and it made sense like he wasn't ashamed
- 20:34Speaker 2: of it. But of course she kind of like pressured
- 20:37Speaker 2: him to such a point of him having to defend
- 20:41Speaker 2: his masculinity essentially.
- 20:44Speaker 4: Somehow. So yeah, that was the.
- 20:46Speaker 2: One that I was like, oh no, oh no, you
- 20:51Speaker 2: kind of got it. There was no culd oh think
- 20:54Speaker 2: they got to a club.
- 20:55Speaker 4: He had hair.
- 20:56Speaker 3: Hair.
- 20:57Speaker 4: They went to hair.
- 20:57Speaker 2: They didn't get a brunch, but they I'm a liar,
- 21:01Speaker 2: they did go a bruh all right. You know, if
- 21:04Speaker 2: there was a score from one to ten, which I
- 21:06Speaker 2: switch it up every time, I'd give you a six.
- 21:08Speaker 2: I'll give you a six, okay, because also helped you here.
- 21:12Speaker 4: I put you on a curve on that one.
- 21:14Speaker 8: You did.
- 21:14Speaker 3: You did help me because I also needed h.
- 21:20Speaker 2: A warning with those uncomfortable ones. But yeah, that's the conversation.
- 21:24Speaker 2: I wonder for the newer generations and for you who
- 21:27Speaker 2: are a new viewer, what did you think about this episode?
- 21:30Speaker 1: Well, it was a strange experience because it both felt
- 21:34Speaker 1: incredibly dated but also yes they still do that mm
- 21:37Speaker 1: hmm and things that we see. And it was also
- 21:42Speaker 1: interesting because you know, as a viewer, I assume you're
- 21:48Speaker 1: meant to relate to Carry and all the other characters,
- 21:53Speaker 1: but in this case Carrie, but it does feel like
- 21:57Speaker 1: yeah to me, and this is very personal. Not everybody
- 22:01Speaker 1: feels this way. But if you're gonna play a game
- 22:04Speaker 1: of flexpin the bottle, I would never be like, I'm
- 22:09Speaker 1: not gonna kiss a woman, even if I wasn't bisexual
- 22:12Speaker 1: or gay, Like if I was sitting down to play
- 22:15Speaker 1: it and the rules had been like established that I'd
- 22:19Speaker 1: be like okay, and I the fact that she just
- 22:23Speaker 1: left and was like.
- 22:26Speaker 3: All right, fart and like, but I don't.
- 22:34Speaker 1: And I would love like if anyone can write in
- 22:37Speaker 1: because I know people feel this way and I can
- 22:40Speaker 1: I can understand to an extent, but to me personally,
- 22:43Speaker 1: like the fact that someone would be bisexual would not
- 22:46Speaker 1: make me more insecure or jealous.
- 22:49Speaker 3: I get that. That's then it's more people that I
- 22:53Speaker 3: have to be concerned about and heavy quotes, But it
- 22:58Speaker 3: wouldn't be like I'm suddenly more suspicious, right.
- 23:04Speaker 1: And we have talked about that before, because there is
- 23:06Speaker 1: a popular media tope that bisexual people are just way
- 23:09Speaker 1: more sexual, which is not true, but there is that
- 23:13Speaker 1: understanding of, oh, if anyone looks their way, they'll sleep
- 23:18Speaker 1: with them in very heavy sarcasm. But that was just
- 23:21Speaker 1: kind of bizarre to me. I guess I didn't really
- 23:24Speaker 1: get it right.
- 23:26Speaker 2: I mean, it's definitely this like back and forth of
- 23:28Speaker 2: going her trying to be.
- 23:32Speaker 4: Cool with it, but not being cool with that.
- 23:35Speaker 2: This is very like conservative take to being like they
- 23:37Speaker 2: can do what they want, it's not for me, but
- 23:40Speaker 2: then also being really judgmental and like being a part
- 23:43Speaker 2: of that. And again like from jump, I would not
- 23:46Speaker 2: be playing to spend the ball with strangers, not whatever
- 23:49Speaker 2: it's sexuality strangers. Boy Blake, I'm like, nah, I'm good,
- 23:52Speaker 2: I'm good. Y'all have fun with this. But you know,
- 23:55Speaker 2: if he made her do it that's very uncomfortable and
- 23:57Speaker 2: that's definitely on him. Yes, it is also portraying that
- 24:00Speaker 2: people who are open about their sexuality are promiscuous and sharing.
- 24:06Speaker 4: Like it definitely leaned into this whole.
- 24:09Speaker 2: Narrative that is really stereotypical and harmful for the gay
- 24:14Speaker 2: community point blank. But it's also very much like us
- 24:18Speaker 2: versus them mentality, and it also is a generational us
- 24:21Speaker 2: versus them mentality as well.
- 24:24Speaker 4: There's so many things on.
- 24:25Speaker 2: This sweet level of like you just really wanted to
- 24:27Speaker 2: play every insecurity that you had getting into your thirties
- 24:30Speaker 2: being single, like it just as I get it because
- 24:33Speaker 2: I was definitely single in my thirties, but the insecurities
- 24:36Speaker 2: were not that real for me. I don't know, I
- 24:38Speaker 2: think for those of people, and maybe this is a
- 24:41Speaker 2: whole different generation where in the two thousands they didn't outright.
- 24:45Speaker 4: Speak up about their sexuality.
- 24:49Speaker 2: Majority of the people that I hang out with, I
- 24:51Speaker 2: know there's sexual orientation, so there's no confusion in know
- 24:54Speaker 2: like it's not a thing, and that doesn't base anything.
- 24:57Speaker 2: I'm also the very much that same type of person
- 25:00Speaker 2: and who were like who was like, you know, I
- 25:03Speaker 2: don't go in thinking either we're dating because we met
- 25:06Speaker 2: to date, right and at the beginning, and maybe this
- 25:10Speaker 2: is the online dating thing, you know everything, right, So
- 25:15Speaker 2: like that kind of changes it up where you're not
- 25:17Speaker 2: necessarily surprised unless they lie, you know, and that happens too,
- 25:20Speaker 2: And if they even find out they're lying, you're out.
- 25:22Speaker 4: You know, I'm like, I'm out.
- 25:23Speaker 2: So maybe that's a different type of like beginning, I
- 25:28Speaker 2: have a relationship that they are talking about where it's
- 25:30Speaker 2: not online dating. I'm trying to remember. I don't think
- 25:35Speaker 2: they have any episodes about online dating other than your
- 25:39Speaker 2: old school like.
- 25:40Speaker 4: In a newspaper, right or chat room right.
- 25:47Speaker 1: And I mean, I guess the thing is, like I've
- 25:50Speaker 1: actually been seeing a lot of conversations about this recently
- 25:53Speaker 1: since we have Happy Pride. Yeah, oh yeah, I have
- 26:01Speaker 1: been seeing a lot of conversations about this recently, and
- 26:04Speaker 1: it made me stop and think, because I feel like
- 26:08Speaker 1: Sean in this case, he was very open about you know.
- 26:13Speaker 1: Maybe the like I'm not gay was confusing in this context,
- 26:20Speaker 1: but he was open about, you know, And there's been
- 26:25Speaker 1: conversations about people who didn't know exactly how they identified
- 26:32Speaker 1: until they got older, until they did try things or
- 26:37Speaker 1: they felt repressed in one way, and then it wasn't
- 26:40Speaker 1: until they went to college.
- 26:41Speaker 3: But feeling.
- 26:45Speaker 1: Like maybe Sean feels bad for Carrie, you know what
- 26:48Speaker 1: I mean, Like I wish I had known then that
- 26:53Speaker 1: that's what I was and I was dating you and
- 26:55Speaker 1: I didn't realize that wasn't what I wanted And that
- 26:59Speaker 1: can be, like now a great feeling. And so I've
- 27:02Speaker 1: just seen some really interesting conversations happening about that lately.
- 27:06Speaker 3: Again, he was very he was like point like this
- 27:10Speaker 3: is me.
- 27:10Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that's the other point of that. It's
- 27:12Speaker 4: like her.
- 27:15Speaker 2: Not discussed but like discontent in him being that open
- 27:19Speaker 2: and free about it really bothered her, really bothered her.
- 27:22Speaker 2: She's like like, he's from Colorado like that, I'm like, well,
- 27:26Speaker 2: how do you wanted to say it? Like dejected in
- 27:28Speaker 2: a quiet voice and shame to do? What do you
- 27:30Speaker 2: want him to do? Hide it from you because you'd
- 27:33Speaker 2: be more upset. Right when you meet the friends and
- 27:35Speaker 2: they're like, yeah, I used to say him exactly.
- 27:38Speaker 1: And we've run into this in several episodes recently. She
- 27:41Speaker 1: is a sex columnist, right, like she I feel like
- 27:45Speaker 1: she should if she's not.
- 27:47Speaker 3: Comfortable with it.
- 27:48Speaker 1: Okay, yes, but I guess that's the flip coin of
- 27:53Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. But then you remove yourself from
- 27:57Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with it.
- 28:00Speaker 3: Maybe I'm gonna have to think about what that says.
- 28:02Speaker 2: But that's right, And her level of disgust and like
- 28:06Speaker 2: distrust in him was so high. So we've talked about
- 28:09Speaker 2: this before with like people in relationships with trans people
- 28:13Speaker 2: or people who are bisexual and feeling like they're in
- 28:16Speaker 2: danger if they tell them yes, like or they'll be
- 28:18Speaker 2: shamed very quickly if they tell them the truth, so
- 28:21Speaker 2: they do hide it, and then it becomes a bigger thing,
- 28:22Speaker 2: like all these things, and like they can't openly date,
- 28:25Speaker 2: freely date and trust the person they're dating, even though
- 28:27Speaker 2: they really think they can they would like to, but
- 28:30Speaker 2: then it ends up.
- 28:30Speaker 4: Back like these.
- 28:31Speaker 2: This is that kind of like that ground of like
- 28:33Speaker 2: this is a really dangerous scope and you're using this
- 28:36Speaker 2: as a comedy, you're using this as a plot line.
- 28:38Speaker 2: I believe the writer of this episode is a gay man.
- 28:43Speaker 2: Darren Starr is attributed as the writer who is a gay,
- 28:47Speaker 2: openly gay man, as well as Jenny Bricks and then
- 28:51Speaker 2: of course Candace Bushnell, who is the writer of the book,
- 28:54Speaker 2: author of the book, but like it.
- 28:59Speaker 4: It feels like he might. I don't know if he
- 29:01Speaker 4: did that on purpose.
- 29:03Speaker 2: I don't know if he realized it, or if it
- 29:04Speaker 2: was just a scope of the early two thousands and
- 29:06Speaker 2: the way we saw bisexuality at that point in time.
- 29:09Speaker 2: Because at the very least like and just like that,
- 29:12Speaker 2: at least when they decided to do non binary folks,
- 29:15Speaker 2: they did treat them all with a little more respect,
- 29:17Speaker 2: not complete the respect that they deserved again because they
- 29:20Speaker 2: actually portrayed that character. Also, as I think chas as
- 29:27Speaker 2: over sex, willing to have sex with anybody, didn't care
- 29:29Speaker 2: who that their relationships are not type of thing.
- 29:32Speaker 4: That's a whole different conversation. I will say I.
- 29:34Speaker 2: Didn't I haven't watched the newest season. But all of
- 29:37Speaker 2: that to say is like, Okay, I don't know if
- 29:40Speaker 2: you mean to do this, I don't know this is
- 29:42Speaker 2: an underlying thought process for you, or if you really
- 29:45Speaker 2: thought this was like an open conversation, so whatever, whatnot.
- 29:49Speaker 2: But it's not a great look. Maybe we're just looking
- 29:51Speaker 2: at it in a way that makes me defensive, maybe
- 29:54Speaker 2: because I do have friends who are bisexual men who
- 29:57Speaker 2: are like trying just to live their life. I have, like,
- 30:00Speaker 2: you know, like I have come to the point as
- 30:02Speaker 2: being I guess an elder millennial slash gen X, like
- 30:06Speaker 2: I'm on that line as a Zilli and neal, I guess,
- 30:10Speaker 2: And I like, this is part of my conversation in
- 30:13Speaker 2: college and then trying to figure that out. And I
- 30:15Speaker 2: didn't meet people who were bisexual. I met people who
- 30:18Speaker 2: were gay, or they weren't openly or having that conversation
- 30:22Speaker 2: of being that because I don't think they felt that
- 30:23Speaker 2: they could. If they were, they were typically women definitely
- 30:27Speaker 2: not men, which to me was an interesting conversation in
- 30:32Speaker 2: that self like.
- 30:35Speaker 4: They're just going through.
- 30:36Speaker 2: A period quote unquote, you know, and and it's just
- 30:39Speaker 2: the d like it's just kind of like the Katy
- 30:41Speaker 2: Perry song like I Kiss the Girl. It became a
- 30:43Speaker 2: fetishized idea of what it was, and that was a
- 30:47Speaker 2: college thing as well, so I feel like that was
- 30:49Speaker 2: just part of this. This seems like a feats into
- 30:51Speaker 2: that narrative and it feels very very like dangerous on
- 30:56Speaker 2: the scope of where we are today obviously with queer
- 30:58Speaker 2: laws were this is twenty four years later, we're watching
- 31:02Speaker 2: this twenty four years later, so the fact that this
- 31:07Speaker 2: narrative is still being spread is the concern, honestly.
- 31:11Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think you brought up several points that
- 31:14Speaker 1: we should maybe come back and talk about later, which is,
- 31:16Speaker 1: you know, not feeling safe sharing your gender identity, so
- 31:23Speaker 1: there can be reasons to hide. And I also think
- 31:28Speaker 1: I had this conversation with my mom this weekend. My goodness,
- 31:32Speaker 1: if this was a different show, I would go into
- 31:34Speaker 1: the drama that is happening at her church. But one
- 31:38Speaker 1: of the things revolves around a lot of LGBTQ plus stuff,
- 31:44Speaker 1: which is happening in a lot of churches. And we've
- 31:45Speaker 1: talked about that in our religious series miniseries that we did.
- 31:51Speaker 1: But one thing she said at one point was like
- 31:53Speaker 1: and it was a gay guy that said that, And
- 31:55Speaker 1: I was like, just because a gay guy said that,
- 31:59Speaker 1: we're not for still people who have biases and can
- 32:03Speaker 1: make mistakes and can be wrong. We've talked before about
- 32:07Speaker 1: within the queer community there is unfortunately a lot of
- 32:12Speaker 1: there can be a lot of judgment and criticism, and
- 32:20Speaker 1: that's sort of been the history with bisexuality, with transgender
- 32:24Speaker 1: and having people judge that within the queer community. So
- 32:29Speaker 1: you know, I think our audience doesn't need the reminder,
- 32:31Speaker 1: but if anyone does, just just because someone's queer and
- 32:36Speaker 1: they make a queer thing doesn't mean.
- 32:40Speaker 3: Right without something we shouldn't look at and be like okay, wait, right, yes, right, yes, I.
- 32:49Speaker 2: Just crossed upon an Asian man from Georgia that does
- 32:53Speaker 2: a Republican conservative talk shows the way.
- 32:58Speaker 3: Mm hmmm. I mean it's thank you for like any community, right.
- 33:03Speaker 1: I always say that about feminism is like it's not
- 33:06Speaker 1: a monolith, right, And this is interesting to me because
- 33:08Speaker 1: this was happening during like the third wave right, and
- 33:13Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of that in the third
- 33:16Speaker 1: wave was a very addressing gender stuff but still being
- 33:22Speaker 1: pretty gendered and.
- 33:24Speaker 2: Doing right right as we saw as we saw like
- 33:27Speaker 2: literally Miranda's whole thing was I'm not girly enough.
- 33:31Speaker 4: Well I guess I am girling because I like it.
- 33:33Speaker 2: Just like it went into it like being like okay,
- 33:34Speaker 2: you can be this and like still be a woman.
- 33:36Speaker 4: That's great, and then she goes, no, now really, I'm
- 33:38Speaker 4: looking at me cry and I'm like, oh, well you
- 33:40Speaker 4: broke that, so never mind.
- 33:44Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 33:46Speaker 1: Yeah, it was an interesting time where they were like,
- 33:51Speaker 1: let's be feminine, but not the bad weak parts. But
- 33:55Speaker 1: doing so, it's saying that being feminine is still worse, right, right, Sarah,
- 34:00Speaker 1: things to criticize about how we do that media whereas
- 34:04Speaker 1: women always crying, but women do cry is like a
- 34:07Speaker 1: complicated mess.
- 34:11Speaker 2: The level, but like, it's interesting to see it written,
- 34:15Speaker 2: and again this is two thousands. Two thousands were a
- 34:17Speaker 2: lot of great things. It opened up a lot of
- 34:19Speaker 2: like conversations. But then like again, you know that it's
- 34:23Speaker 2: not too much from today, too much different from today,
- 34:26Speaker 2: which is probably why we're more frustrated. And I'm more
- 34:29Speaker 2: concerned than anything else, Like this is almost the same,
- 34:32Speaker 2: and this is a bad but this was part of
- 34:33Speaker 2: the foundation that why we can't break it.
- 34:36Speaker 4: Yeah, unfortunately, but all right, well.
- 34:41Speaker 2: We have to get through these dated episodes to get
- 34:44Speaker 2: the whole of tex and the city. But we're always
- 34:46Speaker 2: going to have an honest conversation about it. Let us
- 34:49Speaker 2: know what you think, and again we are trying to
- 34:52Speaker 2: pick a better episode where it's not so thick with
- 34:55Speaker 2: this type of down conversation. I guess for you a
- 35:01Speaker 2: listener to join us very very soon if you are interested.
- 35:06Speaker 2: We're gonna have a random drawing as we did last time,
- 35:10Speaker 2: for you to join in and watch an episode with
- 35:13Speaker 2: us and talk about it with us. You don't have
- 35:16Speaker 2: to be a Sex and the City expert, no need
- 35:18Speaker 2: to preview beforehand. Just come and enjoy and have a
- 35:21Speaker 2: conversation with us.
- 35:22Speaker 1: Yeah, and our super producer Christina is amazing.
- 35:27Speaker 3: She walks you through the whole process.
- 35:29Speaker 1: If you've got like an Internet connection and a computer
- 35:33Speaker 1: or something to record on, you're good.
- 35:35Speaker 3: So yeah. And for the people who.
- 35:37Speaker 1: Entered last time and didn't get it, if you would
- 35:39Speaker 1: like to re enter, please do. But if you're like, na,
- 35:42Speaker 1: I'm good, that's all right. But yes, if you would
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- 35:52Speaker 1: at steffmediamom stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can find
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- 35:59Speaker 1: have a YouTube, a tea public store, and a book
- 36:02Speaker 1: you can get wherever you get your books. Thanks as
- 36:04Speaker 1: always too, our super producer Christina or executive producer.
- 36:07Speaker 3: Maya and your contributor Joey.
- 36:08Speaker 1: Thank you and Thanks to you for listening stuff Never
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