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SPECIAL EPISODE: This Is Why You Don’t Feel Smart · Naughty But Nice with Rob Shuter

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hello, Loo Loo, Loo Loo. It's Rob Shooter from the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Naughty but Nice Podcast. It's a special edition of our
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: podcast now weekend editions. So we've been doing these special editions.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: You know me as a gossip columnist in entertainment or reporter. However,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: as well as doing all that, I'm also a best
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: selling author. I'm one of the world's experts in motivation
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: changing your life. My book is called The Forward Answer.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: And what we've been doing is these short podcasts on
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: the weekend and they're doing so well, so thank you,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: thank you so much for that. I started doing them
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: at the top of the year as something new to do,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: a little bonus on the weekends, and I thought I
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: might do one a month. However, the response has been overwhelming.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: Don't tell anybody, but more people are listening to our
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: bonus as special podcast than even listen to our entertainment
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: gossip show. Some keep doing these as long as you
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: keep listening. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Today we're
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: going to talk about something really important. It's going to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: blow your mind, maybe even change your life. This is
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  Speaker 1: why you don't feel smart. The most foolish thing I
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  Speaker 1: ever did was spend too much time believing that being
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  Speaker 1: really smart was a personality trait, a magic quality that
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  Speaker 1: you're either lucky enough to be born with or not.
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  Speaker 1: In my case, I feared not. I totally brought into
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  Speaker 1: the theory that being smart was a god given gift,
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  Speaker 1: something in your DNA, something that nature had decided long
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  Speaker 1: before we had any say in the matter. This was
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  Speaker 1: seemingly confirmed to me by my teachers and my test results,
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  Speaker 1: and ultimately mea My teachers did not think I was
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  Speaker 1: very smart, my test results seemed to prove them right,
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  Speaker 1: and ultimately I confirmed that. This resulted in years of
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  Speaker 1: struggling with anxiety, fear, and constantly feeling that I wasn't
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  Speaker 1: good enough, I wasn't smart enough, and there was nothing
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  Speaker 1: I could do about it. Making stupid choices became a
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  Speaker 1: self fulfilling prophecy. Does that sound familiar, Because when you
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: feel insecure, you're in no position to succeed. Rather, you
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: do the worst thing a person could ever do to themselves.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: You simply stopped trying. This happened to me. I stopped trying.
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  Speaker 1: There was a point in my life where I felt
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  Speaker 1: so stupid and so worthless that I disappeared into the
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  Speaker 1: shadows and let life happen around me. But once I
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  Speaker 1: stopped believing that big, fat, stupid lie that were either
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  Speaker 1: born smart or were not, something remarkable happened. I chose
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  Speaker 1: to focus on the truth that the way I had
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  Speaker 1: been thinking about the concept of being smart was a liar.
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  Speaker 1: I knew if I was ever going to find real
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  Speaker 1: happiness and real success, I had no choice but to
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  Speaker 1: force myself to come up with a new definition of
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  Speaker 1: being smart. And you must do the same. We all
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  Speaker 1: need a new raver llutionary way of thinking about this topic,
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  Speaker 1: the topic of being smart, because the only thing that
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  Speaker 1: will ever make you smart, really smart, is your willingness
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  Speaker 1: to try. The fear of trying something newer never totally
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: goes away, but putting yourself back out there knowing that
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  Speaker 1: you might fail again is the only chance you have
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  Speaker 1: had success. Get used to feeling vulnerable and frightened when
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  Speaker 1: you go after something newer. Near fear nor failure ever
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  Speaker 1: completely disappears. But you can't let either stop you from
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  Speaker 1: making the smartest decision you will ever make, to get
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  Speaker 1: back up and give it another try. Marissa Mayer said
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  Speaker 1: the following quote, I always did something I was a
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  Speaker 1: little not ready to do. I think that's how you grow.
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  Speaker 1: When there's that moment of wow, I'm not sure I
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  Speaker 1: can do this, and you keep pushing through moments. That's
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  Speaker 1: when you have a breakthrough. All said Marissa, smart people
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: fail all the time. Let me say that again. Smart
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: people fail all the time. In fact, the path to
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  Speaker 1: success is paved with failure. I certainly have had my
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  Speaker 1: fair share of failure, let me tell you, And sometimes
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  Speaker 1: I failed in a way that everybody was watching, like
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  Speaker 1: when I got fired from my TV show. But because
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  Speaker 1: I kept going and never gave up, I've also had
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  Speaker 1: an extraordinary amount of success. And that's the point I'm
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  Speaker 1: not bragging here. The two are related. The only way
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  Speaker 1: you can guarantee neither is by doing nothing. Aristotle said, quote,
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  Speaker 1: there is only one way to avoid criticism. Do nothing,
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  Speaker 1: say nothing, and be nothing. Smart people don't care what
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  Speaker 1: other people say or think when they don't succeed. They
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  Speaker 1: know everyone's not gonna like them, and they're fine with it.
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  Speaker 1: So the next time you fail, be smart, get back
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  Speaker 1: up and remember the true definition of being smart is
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  Speaker 1: to keep trying. Michael Jordan said the following I love
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  Speaker 1: this quote. I've missed more than nine thousand shots in
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  Speaker 1: my career, I lost almost three hundred games twenty six times.
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  Speaker 1: I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
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  Speaker 1: I failed over and over and over again. And that
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  Speaker 1: is why I succeeded once again. That's Michael Jordan, one
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  Speaker 1: of the greatest sports figures of all time. You have
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  Speaker 1: to make a choice between courage and comfort because you
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  Speaker 1: can't choose them both. Choosing comfort it's a much easier
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  Speaker 1: option and often dismissed as being lazy, but that's not
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  Speaker 1: true at all. It's not because you're lazy that you
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  Speaker 1: choose to live in your comfort zone. It's because you're frightened.
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  Speaker 1: It is really scary to keep pushing forward not knowing
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  Speaker 1: what the outcome might be, or to start something completely
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  Speaker 1: new that you've never done before. It's terrifying. It feels
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  Speaker 1: much less risky to do nothing, to overthink a new opportunity,
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  Speaker 1: to the point where you end up talking yourself out
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  Speaker 1: of taking any action or whatsoever. You might even convince
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  Speaker 1: yourself you might that you are making an intelligent choice,
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  Speaker 1: avoiding any criticism or any risk. However, doubting yourself is
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  Speaker 1: never a smart decision. It's a safe one, and don't
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  Speaker 1: kid yourself otherwise. Instead, seize the moment, push forward, trying,
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  Speaker 1: rejecting fear, rejecting excuses, and believing in yourself. That is
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  Speaker 1: the smart choice. Oprah said the following quote. Do the
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  Speaker 1: one thing you think you cannot do, fail at it,
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  Speaker 1: try again, do better the second time. The only people
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  Speaker 1: who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire.
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  Speaker 1: This is your moment. Own it, Thank you, Oprah. Learn
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  Speaker 1: from your mistakes so you don't make them again, but
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  Speaker 1: don't worry. Having enough courage to start means you're already
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  Speaker 1: a winner. Learning from your past is essential to having
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  Speaker 1: a bright future. Who hasn't promised themselves that they're never
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  Speaker 1: going to do that stupid thing again and then done
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  Speaker 1: exactly that I know I have? And that's because changing
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  Speaker 1: behavior that doesn't serve you is really hard, but it's
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  Speaker 1: not impossible. First, you must acknowledge what you did wrong,
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  Speaker 1: and you have to stop blaming others. The best thing
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  Speaker 1: to do when you make a bad decision is own it.
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  Speaker 1: Until you can admit out loud that you have messed up,
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  Speaker 1: you won't change, but once you admit it, you must
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  Speaker 1: move on. Don't dwell on a problem, focus on the solution.
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  Speaker 1: Beating yourself up never helped and it doesn't change anything,
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  Speaker 1: and it certainly doesn't put you in the best position
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  Speaker 1: to succeed. Neither does relying on willpower alone. No, you
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  Speaker 1: need a plan. You need a plan to move forward,
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  Speaker 1: detailing a different approach that will lead you to a
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  Speaker 1: better result. Progress is all about increasing your chances of
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: success and decreasing your chances of failure, and that starts
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  Speaker 1: with you trusting that you are smart enough to do this.
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  Speaker 1: Steve Jobs said quote, you can't connect the dots looking forward,
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  Speaker 1: You can only connect them looking backwards. So you have
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  Speaker 1: to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
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  Speaker 1: You have to trust in something you get, destiny, lifecarma, whatever.
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  Speaker 1: This approach has never let me down and it has
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  Speaker 1: made all the difference in my life. Remember, you cannot
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  Speaker 1: change people around you, but you can change the people
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  Speaker 1: you choose to be around. Behavior is contagious. If you
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  Speaker 1: really want to change your life, you must change the
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  Speaker 1: people in it. If you want to be healthier, hang
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: out with people that exercise more and are aware of
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  Speaker 1: what they eat and drink. If you want better grades,
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  Speaker 1: hang out with people who study more. If you want
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  Speaker 1: to be happier, say goodbye to the negative people around you.
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  Speaker 1: And if you want to be smarter, fine friends who
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  Speaker 1: are willing to keep trying despite all their setbacks. All
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  Speaker 1: it takes is you realizing that you are smart. Never
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  Speaker 1: forget your choices, show who you really are far more
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  Speaker 1: than your abilities. You my friends like me, are now
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  Speaker 1: going to choose to believe that we are smart, because
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  Speaker 1: the only thing that has ever made anybody smart is
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  Speaker 1: their willingness to try. Thank you for listening to this
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  Speaker 1: bonus special edition of The Naughty but Nice Show. I
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  Speaker 1: really appreciate your feedback. It means the world to me.
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  Speaker 1: And remember altogether now, if you're going to be naughty,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: you've got to be nice. Takeare Bip Bip